In your games, have you ever dealt with the oddities that come from the aging rates of different species?Pic related: teenage-equivalent elf mother and fully adult half-elf son.
Lets get this out of the bottle:Incest.
>>19327283>mother>dat bulgeI don't think so, Tim.
Played one game that went through a few human generations worth of story. Me having the only human character, I just kept continuing with my old character's child once they got too old to adventure.
>>19327292Everybody loves reverse Oedipal complexes.
>>19327308Oh god, ever play Birthright? Where you have to have a succession of characters unless you got REALLY lucky in character creation... I got some good rolls and was outliving elves.
>>19327292Going by Races of the Wild, elves become physiologically adult at age 25 (equivalent, presumably, to the human base starting age of 15), and that elf adventurers have a listed starting age of 110 because they're basically lazy asses and don't leave home until that time.If 175 years for an elf matches 35 years for a human for middle age, that gives a matchup of 7.5:1 for elf years to human years for pre-middle age aging. Elf pregnancy is about a year long. So, from conception to physical adulthood for a new elf takes the equivalent of about 3.5 years in human scale.Given that elves tend to be delicate and young-looking by default, you could easily have 4 full generations, if each new one got pregnant right at age 25, that are physically indistinguishable in apparent age even for other elves, and even all still culturally treated as minors (since great-grandmother would only be 100 years old).(This makes me think of a human getting increasingly and uncomfortably attracted to what he thinks are elven jailbait triplets, given that they're treated as young sisters by the local matriarch... until he finds out they're grandmother/mother/daughter.)
>>19327305That's the mons pubis, silly virgin. Never seen a real life vagina, have you?
>>19327376That's pretty hot
>>19327376i know i've seen a screen cap where a guy fucks an elf (think she was a diplomat or something) only to have another elf interrupt them saying "Grandma?"
>>19327399Elf girl gets preggers at the equivalent of age 12. In punishment for her indiscretion, and to keep her out of public view, she and her daughter get discreetly shuffled away somewhere remote and she gets repeatedly demoted until they can both be brought back together at the same apparent age and raised as "twin sisters".
If I remember correctly, the general hand-waving used in D&D is that Elves and Humans age similarily, just elves happen to stay in their prime for about a century or two and then decline slowly, remaining spry and active well into "old" age.Of course, my experience in campaigns has been elven adventurers are pussies who live virgins and die "young". We did have one campaign where elves were practically Indians and lived in small nomadic tribes which tended to centre around trading posts. One of our party was an elf who was fairly young, only about 45, but became very sullen and bitter after living in one of the large cities for about 25 years. It was quite funny when we met up with his tribe, and his parents and older siblings were hilariously immature compared to him.
>>19327283So wait, is he also half-orc? If not I fucking hate people who draw those stupid fangs on everything.
>>19327486He is, actually.
>>19327376i can imagine this going the way of identical 2e fighters but even more ridiculous. An entire family tree of nearly identical elf boys or girls....wait, so that's where Joys/Jennys come from
In one of the longer and more detailed campaigns I participated in the elves, fea and dryads had all intermingled back into one basic species.Side effect was that they were territorial, aggressive, didn't have pointy ears and looked pretty fucking human.They matured at the same rate as humanity and stayed in their prime (20ish) until about 50. Then they began to look 50 in about a month or two. Then they would age at a a normal human rate.They achieved clinical immortality by, when the Withering set in, retreating to their sacred places (church cellars, holy caves, sacred forest clearing all heavily guarded) and hibernating for a winter. Their bodies would rejuvenate back to 20ish as they coma their way through the winter.Then they would wake up and stagger to the nearest pub. Beer was the best cure for the full body cotton mouth that resulted.Elven men sort of looked like this.
>>19327313Okay, so the little one is his dead. Who is the big one?I'm aroused and confused.
>>19327663>>DeadWhat the FUCK. I'm listenign to the BBC talking about the election/financial crisis and then instead of "mother" I write dead. So was it a mistype of dad, or did I just randomly type dead instead of mother/mom.
>>19327675Daughter probably. Or son's girlfriend, judging from the tsun look of the mother.
>>19327698Girlfriend. Sort of.She's another half-orc/half-elf (though raised orc) passing as a wood elf so they can try to trick his grandmother into thinking he's mature and settling down with an exotic fiancee, so that she'll give him access to the family's huge treasury.Note that the mother gets no say in it, because legally she's still a minor.
>>19327305I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that bulge. Also I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think incest; I'm sure there is a manga about this somewhere.I'm not the only pervert. Maybe we can be perverts together :3.
>>19327283What the hell is the story here, OP? I'm not sure if I'm interested or not. Half-orc/half-elf screams Mary Sue.
>>19327738Still, no bulge. Just pic related.
>>19327772General nsfw warning: http://shabazik.deviantart.com/gallery/29015886It's done pretty well - they're both shown as having serious downsides (her as the weakest and wimpiest 'orc' around, him as a crude and stupid 'elf' at best).
>>19327777Shuut up Cisgender scum, it's a dick. Fucking cisgenders always assuming everything is fucking cis FUCK OFF AND DIE
>>19327870>cisgenderthis one is new to me
>>19327903NO DON'T FEED IT.DON"T FEED IT.I'LL POST ELF CHICKS, JUST DONT FEED THE TROLL
>>19327376That's... I should not be having these feelings about knife-ears....I suppose a brown elf is fine, too.
>>19327921Nine out of Ten Rashashka agree = Vandapathi's silk warehouse offers the best harem pillows around!
>>19327698Half-elf takes her human boyfriend home to meet her mother. He ends up getting repeatedly borrowed to babysit her, since she's still the equivalent of only 13 or so in human terms. She's also been put into a chastity belt that her daughter has the key to, to keep her from screwing any more humans until she's a grown-up.
>>19327921>almost feed troll>get elf girl picsi'm tempted to threaten to feed other trolls just to get more pics
>>19327948If jungle elves are less civilized and have children younger, you could easily have 5 or 6 generations that all look practically identical in terms of age.
>>19327313I don't know why this thread and that picture especially made me think of this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lqaCtHE31Y
this is going to lead to a pic of a big chested, full hipped elf with a penis down her throat with a caption saying "this is no time for loli-gagging" isn't it
>>19328047I certainly hope so,
>>19328047...Welp, time to go check and see if /a/'s drawthread is up.
>>19327921It'd work better if those were the sort of androgynous elves. BUT NO THEY HAVE BIG BREASTS MALE GAZE CISGENDER ABLEISM DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME SCUM CISGEN....I can't be bothered any more. Have a picture.
>>19327772>Half-orc/half-elf screams Mary SueWhat's Mary Sue about that? What if you play in a setting where race mixing is all over the place and everyone's half-that and quarter-that? Would that make the whole setting Mary Sue?
>>19328072What the fuck is going on
>>19328072Yeah, you can just imagine how dedicated the trolls of it are on /pol/. It's downright terrifying, but I am glad that tumblr remains largely segregated in their own morass.
>>19328114It would make it a setting for unbearable mary-sues and That Guys
>>19328155He's referring to Cisalpine Gallic ableism. Fucking discriminatory Insubres.
>>19328114It's a bad sign when you have to homebrew special rules for a character, and I'm totally unaware of any official rules for a half-orc/half-elf.
>>19328047We need this. Now.
>>19328114Remember, either you're a first level human male commoner or you're a mary sue
>>19328195Burn Mediolanum to the ground.
>>19328195>>Yay I'm Italy and Gaul and Noricum and Raetia!NAO. YOU CISALPINE OR TRANSALPINE. EITHER OR. >>Bu..buu...but I wanna be a special unique snowflakeNAO.
>>19328203"counts as human"
>>19328214>Implying first level commoners arent marysue
>>19327283>'dat fang>he's also half orc>he's a child of rape>she still loves himSuddenly both more horrifying and adorable.
>>19328314I find the implication that an elf wouldn't sex an orc unless it were rape both racist and offensive
>>19328478agreed, she could have just been trying to get back at her father for not buying her that unicorn for her sweet 116
>>19328256Oh god that would be a super hilarious way to get back at someone trying to sneak in a ton of racial abilities by being a weird half or quarter-breed. Sorry, broheim, but your half-dwarf/quarter-orc/quarter-halfling counts as human.
>>19327283>>19327313Just curious, what is image source?"AlexMR" searches yield no results.
>>19328716shabazik on devart
>>19328716Shabazik on Deviantart.Word of warning, his English isn't very good.
>>19328478That actually sounds pretty hot.
>>19327997>marry daughter>together, legally adopt her mother to raise her as a proper young woman
>>19328925gonna have to second this.
>>19327997>13 in human terms>chastity belt>still wants to fuckNow all we need to make this full /d/ is have her get into anal, thereby making a well and true elven slut who may or may not be interested in male children a generation or two down the line.
>>19329602>Hark, yonder childe! Doth thou wishest to /ss/?
>>19329634Really, relative to an elf having sex with a non-elf, is they _anything_ that isn't /ss/?
>>19329634>>19329705Excuse my lack of knowledge. What's /ss/?
>>19327997>mfw imagining a manga of this
>>19329717Super sexy? I'm not sure either.
>>19329734Straight Shota. Look it up.
>>19329705Schutzstaffel? Super Star? Silly Sex?
>>19329717Straight Shota. It's a board on 7chan.
>>19329757Woops, didn't mean to post the misnamed file version. The reaction still stands, though.
>>19329602Why hasn't this been made?
"But I had a nightmare," the slender elf girl whines. Her thin robe's draped open, showing the pale skin down her front but not quite wide enough to display her developing breasts. In the moonlight, her chastity belt, of delicate-looking elven make, glitters softly."Oh, Mother," sighs the elf girl's daughter, taller and larger and curvier than she is, and she nudges her partner in the side. He grunts as if in sleep, though she knows he's awake. "Michelos," she says, a little bit pleading, and he shifts against her under the silk sheet. He's not wearing anything, in the summer night, and neither is she."Oh, fine," he mumbles, and then his body shifts. He sleeps as himself with her, pale and wraithlike and near-androgynous few humans are comfortable with, and it's a simple change to become female instead of male. His wife blushes faintly, because she understands why he's changed - that otherwise her mother in the bed with them, cuddled between them as she inevitably demands, would prompt a certain kind of quiet excitement that would be rather obvious.
>>19330225Do go on.
>>19330225>Doppleganger and his Half-elf bitch and her underage Elf loli motherOh god... Maximum /d/
>>19330326but only one of them has (sometimes) a penis
>>19330354You don't know what's behind that belt.
>>19330326Changeling, not doppelganger.It's a better choice anyway, since you can get all the doppelganger abilities at lower ECL with a prestige class.
Michela sighs and slides a little bit apart from her wife, and her stepmother drops the filmy robe on the floor and climbs over her to slide into the bed between them. Ghilwen snuggles right up against Michela first, head against her near-flat chest, and Ghilwen's daughter wiggles up against her from behind, pressing the elf snugly between the two of them, skin against skin.Michela wraps an arm around the both of the other two to touch her wife's back, rubbing the muscles there gently. The tap-code and simple and quiet and well-trained into both by the time they've spent together in the midst of monsters and mayhem. 'We can't do this forever.'Isnathiel sighs breathily, and she shifts against the two of them, and for a moment the moonlight frames her face and Michela feels her heart melt. Their eyes meet as Ghilwen squirms between them, wrapping her slim arms tight around Michela's waist, and Isnathiel strokes Ghilwen's hair softly with the arm half-under her.
My girlfriend was watching some show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", and it startled me on several levels, then I remembered something: in most fantasy RPGs, some races don't have an inherent INT bonus, and idiocy is not specific to any one culture.I then visualized the episode from the point of:>Elves who didn't know they were pregnantLow Wisdom, no practical skills, media-saturated culture, et cetera, et cetera. >I thought I was just retaining water for three years in a row!
>>OPI just kind of gloss over it by using rational biology. Even if an Elf lives 200 years or whatever, that doesn't mean it makes sense for them to take 40 years to grow up. The body grows at the rate it does because it is as fast as it can without being taxing or consuming too many resources or harming overall lifespan. Elves, on the other hand, are just magically young; there's no reason to believe an Elf wouldn't be considered at least physically/mentally an adult at around age 20 or so. Of course, society might treat them differently in a lot of respects, because when the generation before yours has literally 50 years on you it says a lot about experience and responsibilities.
>>19330649I've always thought that Elves are more than a little bit tree. It takes them a good century to achieve full growth, and then they just stay young and healthy unless something comes along to harm their health, at which point they get all old and wrinkly.
>>19331300Also they occasionally need their limbs trimmed off.
>>19331312>dwarves keeping quadruple-amputated elf maidens as spoils of war to decorate their halls with
>>19331481So can we just agree that elves are /d/ material now?
>>19330326Then they have a changeling son who imitates being a half-elf to more easily get along in Elftown... and his grandmother, still in the chastity belt and being treated like a child some twelve years later, ends up with the hots for him.
>>19332220well, they always were
I played an elf raised by humans at one point (running with the 'mature at 110' because the 'matures at 25' plan is bullshit), who had seen three, almost four generations of humans live and die before he was old enough to leave home. Depressing fellow.
>>19333974but that's not a grandma that aged slow because of her race, she just went all succubus and permayounged herself through incestand how do i know this without even following the links
Once, we had an elf who fucked one human, once, and developed this psychotic obsession with bringing him back to life after he died.She sort of faded into the background after a while, we forgot about her, but two campaigns later her research started popping up, and this escalated until it turned out that she was basically getting ready to harvest all life on Earth to try and bring her pet goldfish back to life. By the end of it were were up to our balls in hideous soul-stealing goblin mutants that ate souls and vomited them back up as pearl catalysts for some ancient resurrection ritual.Five fucking campaigns of fighting this insane elf, motivated by love and heartbreak to destroy the world and overthrow the will of the gods to bring her husband back, because SOMEONE just HAD to hit on the elf chick.Way to fucking go, Riley.
>>19334013dear god i want to be in your group
>>19334019You say that now, but you'd be eating your thumbs by the end of it. It's so enraging to go through these enormously fierce trials, and then realize that they aren't clever at all, they were just engineered by a woman with infinite time and no sense of proportion.Example: Her research notes were all written in Dwarvish, which was the language of choice for scientific notation. But then apparently she thought "oh hey, someone might read my notes and figure out my plans."Now a sensible person might start writing in code. She destroyed the entire Dwarvish civilization, and annihilated their culture. Then she invented Esperanto and taught it to the humans. Nobody speaks Dwarvish except her anymore. Fucking unbelievable. THIS WAS A WHOLE CAMPAIGN.
>>19334106Holy shit. Tell us more.
>>19334136I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say. The whole affair is just so agonizing from start to finish that it hurts just thinking of it.Like in campaign three, when she introduced a wonder-crop that was like a combination between Potatoes, Wheat and Rice. Grew in huge paddies, each one was the size of a bowling ball, you could take in five crops a year easy, didn't deplete the soil, and, oh yeah, after the tenth year they basically flooded the atmosphere with sentient anthrax, to induce migration inland. YAY.Or like in campaign two, when she tore open the abyss with a huge ring painted with seven hundred gallons of her own blood carefully extracted and frozen over the course of decades, and used it to suck out the very spirits of entropy and chain them to her will so that she could put out the sun for the fifteen minutes she needed to do some stupid syzygy shit. No no, not because the sun needed to vanish for the alignment herself, she just wanted better lighting to see the stars. Not like she could've just used a telescope or anything.Every fucking time, we end up dealing with this hideous series of catastrophes, and a campaign later we realize just how trivial the actual motivations behind them were.
>>19334184You really need to invest in a better DM.
>>19334191In his defense, this all started because we foreverDM'd him. Not exactly subtle revenge. I mean at least it's still fun, and while you're playing it you never notice, but then afterwards you're left going "did we just spend six months cockblocking an elf?"And the answer is yes. Six months cockblocking an elf. There was sentient anthrax and bandersnatches involved, sure, but when you get down to it it was cockblocking an elf.
>>19334191No, no, his DM is a genius. To induce that kind of rage and frustration and yet keep the players going?This is gold. Comedy and campaign gold, I say!
>>19334203I'm stealing the crazy elf girl.And I'm not going to ever give it back.Fuck cosmic horrors from beyond time and space, THIS is your recurring BBEG, now and forever!
>>19334013>>19334106>>19334184>>19334203Well, at least you got a hell of a story out of it. And so did we.
"Well," Michelos sighs, and he writes in the curvy swoop of his signature. "I guess that does it." The paperwork was almost painfully simple - a single-page addendum to the marriage contract filed with the house, an affidavit filed by Isnathiel's grandmother testifying to her ability to support a family, and another from Michelos' past bonded company-mates in lieu of parents attesting to the same. He nudges the sheet over to Isnathiel, trusting her Elven far more than his."Mmm-hmm," she says, and slides the paper across the table. The notary looks it over and gives her mark of approval. That's it—so simple, after the mess of gnomish bureaucracy Michelos is used to, that he squints, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "C'mon," Isnathiel says, and nudges his side—and gently shakes the sleeping girl next to her."Mmwhah?" the tiny, slender elf says. She spent too long out playing dwarves-and-elves, after her homework, and fell asleep again as soon as she sat down next to her daughter at the notary's office. "Carry your mother," she half-commands, sleepy enough that it becomes a mockery of herself."Not anymore," Isnathiel says gently, and gives her mother—now daughter, legally—a little peck of a kiss on the forehead, and pulls her up into her arms.
I like the legal adoption twist.
"You're a horny little brat, I hope you know that," Michelos says, as he carefully unlocks the chastity belt and tugs the plates of it away from Ghilwen. The girl's a little damp underneath, already, and he glances away quickly. "You've got a little time to yourself - but you even *think* of trying to go out that window, and your *mother*," he says, and Ghilwen flushes bright pink at the emphasis on the word, "will give you enough of a tanning you won't be able to sit down for days."Ghilwen nods meekly, and tugs her thin robe a little more around herself, and retreats into her room.
>>19338562Please don't stop.
Hmm. Elven mother gets legally adopted as her half-elf daughter's daughter.Does this mean that when the half-elf has a kid that inevitably matures faster than the elf does, then the elf becomes 'little sister' too, despite actually being the kid's grandmother?
>>19342256Idk...but the elf girl is officially her own Grandma
>>19342256>elf got knocked up at age 20>she won't be considered an adult until 110>elf gets adopted down three generations of her own descendants until she's finally considered an adult and allowed out of the chastity belt
>>19338562FULL SPEED AHEAD
>>19338562>>19338562I hope someone's going to cap all these...Or we could archive.Either way, this must live on.
>>19343036There is always 1d4chan, it needs more stories in general.
>>19327283A Shadowrun game I'm in has a romance between an elf and a human. Ironically, the elf is more likely to die first, because he's the one going out on the dangerous 'runs while the human stays at home as an NPC.
>>19342305To make it worse, she ends up repeatedly screwing her own grand/great-grandchildren whenever she's left too long without the chastity belt.Either her 'parents' long since wised up and have her on some kind of magic birth control, or she ends up having a few incest-babies (who, of course, inevitably grow up quicker than she does).
>>19343441Just keep her in the belt 24/7. Sure, it'll be irritating, but she can do chores to distract her from it.
>>19328195http://fuckyeahdiomedes.tumblr.com/post/24262182026/sometimes-4chan-is-actually-amusingYou famous son.
>>19345728>Some random faggot puts it on a blog nobody reads>FamousPfftahaha, oh you. That's a Masterwork Boner, isn't it, Batman?