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    106 KB MAID QUEST PART XXVII: DANTE IS A WUSS Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:07 No.9865162  
    Yup! It's time for everyone's favorite rage-causing fetish Quest Thread!

    First Chapter: Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/

    Most Recent Chapter: Part 26: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9623790/

    If you want to find the rest, they should be tagged "Maid Quest" on the archive.


    If you're pathetic enough to follow this fucking shit on twitter, it's at http://twitter.com/maidquesttg


    You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

    1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
    2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.

    At least, that's the basic idea. Things have gotten confused since then.

    Alien Repair Bots
    Reticulan Combat Android
    Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery
    "Hidden Trait" - Activate to discover something mysterious about yourself previously unknown to all.

    Your Costumes
    Magician (Magic Missile, Shield, Ritual Magic)

    Unassigned Costumes

    Mansion Status:
    Facilities: Beachfront property, Huge Yacht ("Kat"), Secret Passages (Connects Master Bedroom to Maid Quarters).
    Kitchen: Average (3 of 5) -> Quest: HIRE A CHEF
    Decor: Good (4 of 5)
    Gardens: Average (3 of 5)
    Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
    Beach: Good (4 of 5)
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:08 No.9865175
    Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)

    Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE

    Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Warm) - SEXED

    - Costume Option: Sexy Commissar
    - Costume Add-on: Blood Splatter

    Kristopher, formerly Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Distant)

    Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED

    Jehanne, the paladin of Bahamut (Devoted) - SEXED

    Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust, now in possession of Katherine's Love (Warm)

    120 XP

    Day 12 of 30

    You have made a promise to Alicia to go to hell and get back her souls.

    > "All right. I'll go to hell."
    > "Nah, let's not go to hell after all."

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:08 No.9865176
    fuck yes
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:08 No.9865182
    Woot. There shall be dickings.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:09 No.9865200
    We need some more training before assaulting Hell. Can we spend some XP?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:10 No.9865207
    well, we're going to hell when we die anyways, might as well get the grand tour and some (more) experience with the place before we go
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:10 No.9865216


    You can now level up. You can only level up each stat once.

    Athletics: 3 -> 4 40 XP
    Affection: 2 -> 3 30 XP
    Skill: 3 -> 4 40 XP
    Cunning: 2 -> 3 30 XP
    Luck: 2 -> 3 30 XP
    Will: 2 -> 3 30 XP

    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:11 No.9865237
    Athletics + Skill. Those are the combat stats?
    We want permanent boosts when possible.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:11 No.9865240
    Cunning needs to go up. We use it for everything.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:12 No.9865261
    Because we're lying, magnificent bastards.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:13 No.9865275

    Athletics is basically the combat stat for things like physical actions. Skill is the combat stat for anything that requires finesse. In roleplaying terms, however, Skill also encompasses Skill in maintaining a household.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:13 No.9865276
    Well, yeah. That's why we should increase it.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:14 No.9865282

    Seems like there is a consensus to raise Cunning to 3. This will leave you with 90 XP.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:15 No.9865309
    Let's raise athletics/skill. I assume athletics is melee, and skill is ranged.
    Since we seem to prefer guns, skill seems a sound selection.
    However, we plan on beating the butler in fisticuffs, for which athletics will be useful.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:16 No.9865322
    Athletics and Skill as well as the Cunning previously mentioned.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:16 No.9865326

    Raising Athletics and Skill will place you at 10 XP. Also, a 4 in a stat essentially means that you are world-class at it. Confirm?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:18 No.9865347
    World Class??
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:18 No.9865350
    Well, I'll confirm, and hope others would agree with my decision.
    >> northern /k/ommando 05/17/10(Mon)00:18 No.9865358
    Athletics, Skill, and Cunning.

    max dem stats
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:20 No.9865392
    confirm I guess
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:23 No.9865442
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:23 No.9865450

    Confirmed. You have finished levelling up.

    As we return to the sexy and weird world of Maid Quest after an extended absence, we find ourselves on the beach outside our mansion. The sun is setting in the distance, casting a scarlet tinge over the entire scene. As you stand there watching the tide wash in, you realize that, although the water is washing over your feet, your clothing is not getting wet. In fact, your feet are not sinking into the sand at all, and your body does not seem to interact with the water in any way, like a bad clipping error in a video game.

    As you stand there, puzzling over this, you hear a shout from up the beach. Running down the beach, wearing a sundress and a large, pretty sun hat, is a young girl with long, black hair. She is barefoot, and she is shouting out to a young man wearing a slate grey suit with a thin tie standing on the pier looking out at the sunset.

    "Maximillian!" she shouts. "Maximillian!"

    The young man, presumably Maximillian, looks back at the girl and smiles. "Alicia!" he says, laughing, as the girl leaps into his arms and gives him an exuberant, happy hug. "When did you get here?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:25 No.9865484
    >First Person
    >Fades to third person
    Oh shit, we're dreaming.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:25 No.9865486
    This happened in Alicia's palace. Roll to disbelieve.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:25 No.9865488
    Ooh, cutscene. Can we interact? Can the other 2 see us? What if we wave/call them? If no reaction... proceed to grope.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:29 No.9865558

    As you look closer, you can see that the girl is indeed Alicia. . . except that her eyes are brown, not violet, and her ears have no points on them. She is smiling happily as she gives the young man another exuberant embrace. "I just got here a little while ago," she says, grinning. "Guess what?"

    "What?" Maximillian asks.

    "We're here to stay! Grandpa says that we're moving here for good! He checked it out with the school and everything. . . isn't that great? Now we can see each other every day!"

    For a brief moment, a troubled expression comes over the young man, then it is, just as quickly, gone. "That. . . that's fantastic," he says, his voice touched with false joy. "I'm. . . I'm really looking forward to seeing you some more."

    "Max?" Alicia asks, softly. "What's wrong?"

    Max opens his mouth to speak. "Alicia. . . this is NPR Morning News."

    You wake up in your room to the sound of the clock radio set to National Public Radio, the annoying, flat monotone drone of the morning anchor filling your ears. You reach over and slap the snooze button, then lay down and stare up at the ceiling of your palatial room.

    You hear a soft "nyu," and turn to see Felicia curled up in bed with you. She is pawing playfully at your face, with an inquisitive, "Play nao?" look on her feline features.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:29 No.9865564
    lore check, what was our uncles name?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:30 No.9865577
    You know, I don't think I ever said, but let's clarify: it wasn't Maximilian.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:30 No.9865579
    motorboat her
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:31 No.9865591
    Felicia really ruins our ability to fap every morning.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:31 No.9865597
    We need a better smexing stat. Commence smexing.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:32 No.9865609

    Playing... well, amuse her with a bit of string, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:33 No.9865615
    Utterly wrong. Felicia has become our right hand.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:35 No.9865659

    On a sudden impulse, you pull up the t-shirt she wears to bed, and bury your face between her small, but perky, breasts. With an exuberant "BPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" noise, you motorboat her vigorously.

    Felicia yowls in surprise. Her tail puffs up and she leaps out of bed, but with your head under her t-shirt, she gets stuck, then winds up tumbling out of bed tangled up in bedsheets, myuuuing plaintively as she struggles to get out.

    By the way, you now see that the t-shirt is the ONLY thing she wears to bed. Apparently she's not very fond of wearing panties, maybe it's hard to get them on over her tail.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:36 No.9865669
    Does our staff count as a part of us?
    Because I'd be fine with this.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:37 No.9865681
    We JUST noticed this?

    We didn't notice all the other times we had sex with her?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:37 No.9865695
    Well YOU noticed, but it occurred to me I hadn't made a POINT of this yet, so I thought that I would.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:37 No.9865700
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    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:38 No.9865709

    Begin tickling the kitty. Both of them.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:42 No.9865765
    oh god I've been reading this in the archives but this is the first time I've caught it live! YAY! You're the best.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:42 No.9865770
    Is that us, Alfred, and our meidos?

    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:42 No.9865771
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    If this is what I think it is. . .


    You pounce on the cat, tangled up in the bedsheets, and begin to tickle her mercilessly. She yowls and swipes at you, but it just tangles herself up even worse, and she winds up with her shirt hiked up to around her shoulder level and her arms immobilized in a pose not entirely unlike the attached lolcat pic.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:43 No.9865796

    show no mercy! Continue the tickling!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:44 No.9865818
    We have two hands. That means... we can tickle AND grope!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:45 No.9865828
    Tease into submission

    Alternatively, wear our cat maid in our back to greet the inevitable breakfast event
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:45 No.9865835
    Man, I half expected you to say RIP AND TEAR (her shirt).
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:46 No.9865838
    now that she's pinned in places give her a kiss on the nose

    then let out a dramatic evil laugh and say "now i have you right where i want you"

    we really ought to talk to alicia and find out just how smart felicia is/find a way to allow her to talk
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:46 No.9865842
    The tickling continues. It continues for quite a long time, as the kitty girl ineffectually struggles against you and tries to push you off, to no avail, both yowling and laughing in equal measure. . .

    You are interrupted in your play by the sound of a throat being cleared, and a snarky, "If I'm interrupting anything, I can come back at a later time."

    You look up from tickling your naked catgirl tangled up in bedsheets, and see a certain loli demoness sitting on a windowsill, giving you a sneering, sarcastic, superior look. She is wearing a white sundress, and as the morning breeze catches the light cloth, you have a sudden flashback to a half-remembered dream. . .
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:48 No.9865892
    "Who's Maximilian?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:48 No.9865893
    Tell her to join in, ask for possible breakfast, comment on how well she seems to carry her new flat body like she had previous practice
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:49 No.9865912
    Stand up, awkwardly clear throat. "Nice dress."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:50 No.9865927
    This. Out of the blue, no warmup. Wipe that damn smirk off.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:50 No.9865931

    Ask her if he has an Intel for our upcoming op into hell. Since we obviously can't get SATINT, ELINT, or remote imaging. We need more HUMINT!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:52 No.9865963

    You stand up and clear your throat awkwardly. "Nice dress," you say.

    "Thanks," Alicia sighs." She jumps down from the windowsill into the room and walks over to your breakfast table. You now see that she has a picnic basket with her, and she unpacks your breakfast from it: a simple, cold breakfast of muffins, a carafe of coffee, some fruit salad, and a half a grapefruit. In other words, the "Part of this Complete Breakfast" that doesn't include the sugary cartoon character cereal. "If you're intending to fuck, please, go right ahead," Alicia says. "We can discuss what we need to while you do it."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:53 No.9865980

    You sure? You could get in on this, you know...
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:53 No.9865990
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    fuck sleep, fuck class tomorrow, it's maidquest time, hell yesssssss
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:53 No.9865991
    Seconded so hard.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:53 No.9865993
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:53 No.9865998
    Look at Felicia. If she's up to it, let her go for it. Otherwise, dismiss her.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:54 No.9866009
    >>9865998 here.

    Fuck that. Let's go with >>9865980
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:54 No.9866011
    Dismiss Felicia, fuck Alicia.
    We need to power her up for our trip to hell, and how better to give energy to a daemon of lust?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:55 No.9866020
    Get Felicia on lap (this can be interpreted in some many ways ohgod), pet her while we start conversation
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:55 No.9866021
    Something tells me she won't go for it...

    When she doesn't, "Oh? You'd rather do it with Max?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:56 No.9866050
    >>9866011 here.
    Seconding >>9866021 when she says no.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:57 No.9866067

    "You sure? You could get in on this, you know..." you say, smirking back.

    "As hilarious as it would be to experience your inexpert fumblings between the sheets, I don't really feel like submitting myself to such a lousy time of it," the bitch-demoness says, as she pours herself a cup of tea with six lumps of sugar and practically as much cream as tea. "For instance, once one has tasted truly fine tea, the shit you get from the supermarket in little bags tastes exactly like that. Rat droppings, that is."

    You wait until she's about to take a sip of her tea before asking, "Who's Maximilian?"

    Your timing is perfect. Alicia spit-takes her tea across the room in a spray worthy of a garden hose. "Who. . . who the. . . I have no idea what you're talking about," she stammers.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:58 No.9866087
    your reaction suggests otherwise, but anyways

    so what do you expect us to be dealing with on our little jaunt to hell?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)00:58 No.9866088

    Retcon: you say, "So. . . like Maximilian?" instead.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:59 No.9866103
    Is there anything in the contract about her having to always tell us the truth? Because if there is, tell her that either she tells us now, or we sex her up good.

    Otherwise, differ to other anons.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:59 No.9866111
    also, pull felicia into your lap and start playing with her breasts while talking
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)00:59 No.9866113

    Hit a nerve, have we?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:00 No.9866123
    "Really? Max would be so sad to hear that."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:00 No.9866135

    "Okay. Don't spit on my food, please. Or at least have the decency to do it while I'm not watching."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:04 No.9866197

    "So, hit a nerve, did we?" You pull Felicia into your lap as you sit at the breakfast table and idly cup the little catgirl's breasts from behind, fondling them playfully as she mews and wriggles in your lap, trying to break free. "Do remember that our contract states that you're not allowed to lie to me. . ."

    "It also doesn't say I'm obliged to say anything," Alicia points out, "So I'll be truthful when I say I'd really rather not talk about it, thank you very much, especially when we have a jaunt to hell planned."

    "Good point, you say, as you slide your hands down Felicia's body, petting her tummy. She myuuus and turns around in your lap to lick your face playfully, then you give her a kiss on the nose as Alicia rather pointedly spreads butter on a warm scone. "So, what can we expect down there?" you ask.

    "The usual. Demons. Damned souls. Rains of brimstone and lakes of acid. Thousands of guys standing on their heads while waist-deep in shit. Lawyers. The usual things you find in hell. In our case, we shouldn't have too much trouble. We just gate in, grab the item, and get out like a bat out of. . . well, the usual place."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:06 No.9866244
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    "Will we face..."


    "Infernal Tax Auditors?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:06 No.9866248
    "Any personal enemies that would notice you entering?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:07 No.9866259
    "Murderers, child molesters, people who talk at the theater... Sounds like fun."

    Bite into something.

    "You know, Alicia, the more you tell me, the more I can help you. We don't need to be enemies."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:08 No.9866265
    "have any personal enemies that may now be squatting in your realm to gloat?"

    "not trying to be irritating, but i like to be prepared"

    fondle felicias ass
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:08 No.9866275
    This anon agrees with >>9866259.
    It's better to have all our maids appreciate us.

    Also, fuck you OP, I have finals tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:09 No.9866283
    "How close will we gate in to it? And how certain are you of that?"
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:13 No.9866339

    "Murderers, child molesters, people who talk in the theatre, sounds. . . special," you quip. You pull a bagel out of the picnic basket and spread some cream cheese on it. "Any enemies that might hold a grudge?"

    "Plenty," Alicia says. "I didn't exactly make friends down there in hell. But the thing is, when you're a demon in hell, you've also got enemies of your own to deal with. I don't figure anyone I'll meet will find it worth it to go after me. Not when they've got bigger things to worry about."

    You take a bite of your bagel, then pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Well," you say, "the more you tell me, the more I can help you. We don't need to be enemies." You punctuate this last statement with a pat on Felicia's ass. She purrs and arches her back into your hand so you can cup her cheek better.

    Alicia gives you a sad, sympathetic look, filled with pity. "Yes, we do," she says. "Anyway, we should gate in somewhere within a few meters of the object. And don't worry, it's not hard to find. . . so long as you bring a certain playing card with you."

    You hold up the ace of spades that is her phylactery in one hand. "I figured you might say that. Don't think this will mean I'd let you have it back."

    "Don't worry. . . you can hold onto it if you want. I won't even touch it, I just need it present as a focus." Alicia stretches out. "Anyway, is there anything you want to do before we go? Anyone?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:14 No.9866347
    Also ask if it's normal that Kris seems to have fragmented memories of the mansion.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:15 No.9866365
    "Honestly? Every single one of my maids. But a man needs to prioritize."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:16 No.9866387
    I don't have the necessary verbal (or textual) charm to suggest specifics, but I suggest we attempt to get on better terms with Alicia.

    Whatever it takes.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:17 No.9866404
    should probably finish up with felicia before we head off, don't want to leave her hanging, but after that i'm good to go
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:18 No.9866432
    She's not the only one.
    We do NOT want to enter hell with blue balls.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:18 No.9866440

    Suggesting picking up at LEAST Jehanne for support, if not her AND Carmine in case the op goes FUBAR. Which it will. They always do. Recommend taking a sword, as well. Also, >>9866347
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:19 No.9866452

    Wait, didn't we give the Ace of Spades to Reginald??
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:19 No.9866453
    Ask Alicia to throw us a tube of KY, and tell her we'll speak to her again in an hour or so.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:19 No.9866454

    "Honestly? Every single one of my maids. But I'll prioritize. Maybe I'll settle for just this one this morning. . ." you say, pulling Felicia close to you and sliding your hand down to fondle her pussy.

    "Great," Alicia says. "While you do that, I'll make preparations." She empties out the rest of the picnic basket's contents onto the table, then puts the basket itself on the ground. Pulling out a piece of chalk, she begins to draw a magic circle on the hardwood floor around it.

    "What are you doing?" you ask, as Felicia purrs happily and straddles your leg, rubbing her steadily moistening sex against your thigh.

    "Making ready our conveyance."

    "A handbasket?"

    "How else would you expect us to get to hell?"
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:21 No.9866474
    Yup, but as it occurred to me that you didn't have it yet, I decided that you'd gotten it back from him in preparing for this venture.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:21 No.9866476
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:21 No.9866481
    >We're going to Hell in a handbasket.
    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:21 No.9866489
    >Yes, we do.
    "Why do I get the feeling that this isn't just about the grudge for destroying your palace and freeing the souls that served as your source of power?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:22 No.9866499

    sounds fair. Now let's finish up with Felicia and get ready to GO BACK TO HELL
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:22 No.9866506
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    >Going to hell in a handbasket, literally.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:23 No.9866520
    we also need to bring a cd player with us

    and play meatloaf: bat out of hell, back into hell
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:23 No.9866522
    Love you, Goshujin.

    Guys, are we hiring a new maid afterwards? Because we could leave Carmine with a retirement plan in Hell (Which is, punch things and keep safety just in case we make more enemies down there)
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:24 No.9866532
    My god. Voltaire's "Hell in a Handbasket" came on JUST AS I GOT THE JOKE.

    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:25 No.9866564
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:26 No.9866577
    Okay, get Jehanne, Reginald, and Carmine ready for the trip, after sexing our cat.

    Plan on leaving Carmine.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:27 No.9866597
    We just got Carmine the sexy commissar outfit, which gives her the sexy/ANGRY traits. It'd be shame to leave her in hell before we got the angry sex we unlocked.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:28 No.9866601
    Wait, why are we planning to leave Carmine? After we went through all the effort of getting her equipped with things that might let us sex her up, it seems like a waste.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:28 No.9866602
    We're not taking Reginald. He deserves a break, for once. Also, we're keeping Carmine. Stop trying to fuck over our maids, asshats. IT ONLY ENDS BADLY.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:28 No.9866609
    As fun as sexxing our catgirl in front of our demon loli might be, I don't think it's terribly endearing. Engage in heavy petting until she is satisfied then go get our hell contingent.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:29 No.9866630

    "Great," you say. You pick Felicia up off of the chair and carry her over to the bed. Bending her over the side of the bed, you reach down and begin to run a finger up her warm, wet folds, fingering her from behind as she mews, her tail swishing back and forth. "By the way, we should talk to Jehanne and Carmine. It might be good to have them along with us.

    Alicia pauses in the middle of drawing her circle to give you a quizzical look. "So. . . you're thinking of taking a paladin to hell. . . ?"

    "Yeah, sure, why not?" you ask.

    "Well. . . let me think. Have you ever seen what happens to a piece of sugar when you drop it on an anthill? That's what demons tend to do when paladins show up in hell."

    "I still think it would be good to have her there with us," you say, as you pull down your pants and start rubbing the tip of your cock against Felicia's pink, parting folds.

    "Suit yourself," Alicia says. "You're the boss, after all."

    "How about Carmine?"

    "She might not be a bad choice, but if it's supposed to be a mission of subtlety, fast in fast, out, do you really think that she's going to be a good choice?"

    "I guess maybe you've got a point," you admit, as you reach around Felicia and pinch her nipples, tweaking them expertly. You've had some practice of late.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:29 No.9866634
    stick it in the pooper. make alecia watch
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:30 No.9866642
    Come on, just like that? At least use some lube or something.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:32 No.9866667
    Carmine had Blood Splatter too? Because then we have a Makai warlord waiting to happen
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:32 No.9866668
    I suppose we could just take Reginald and perhaps Felicia if we can get Alicia to tell us how to change her into a giant jaguar thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:32 No.9866673
    She doesn't like pooper, see previous threads.
    So no pooper. We are gentleman pervert.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:33 No.9866680
    make alecia provide the lube. Use tea. I dont care. Put it in the pooper
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:33 No.9866692
    Ive been following these threads since day one. And I still say pooper
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:34 No.9866699
    As long as she stays near us, Carmine shouldn't be a problem. Jehanne.... well, maybe that's worth a bit of reconsideration if what Alicia says is true. Though I'm not sure how trustworthy she is; I still think that she's playing us on some level, even if there are truths involved.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:34 No.9866703
    She'll have to learn to like it. Lube up.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:35 No.9866710
    We could take Samantha too, you know. We haven't been paying her much attention lately. Then again, Sam and Jehanne.

    Still voting against sexxing Felicia right in front of a possible future interest here. Demon of lust or not, it would likely leave a bad impression.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:35 No.9866712
    I'll trust her on this one. Don't take the Pally.

    Take Sam and Reg, for super-stealth high-precision team.

    Make sure she realizes we're respecting her decision on this, for bonus points.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:35 No.9866714
    Wait, now I want t ask about the possibility of employing prinnies out of Hell, fuck.

    Anyway, get on with things and talk to our maids and Reginald about the incursion. If we aren't taking him, then he can at least be support from DA CHOPPA

    I'm starting to think "The War" was the War on Hell, given his knowledge of demon towers
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:36 No.9866717
    >Still voting against sexxing Felicia right in front of a possible future interest here.
    Seconding this.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:36 No.9866729
    We were in hell with Jehanne before. Wasn't all that bad at all.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:37 No.9866741
    i'm voting for it

    because funny, and no worse than fapping right in front of new hires
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:37 No.9866748
    Alicia was in charge of hell then. Presumably things are somewhat more chaotic now. Though this is perhaps a point which we should bring up to her, so that she can justify her point.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:38 No.9866756
    Unseconding. Alicia is a cold bitch.
    Felicia is a warm catgirl who likes us.

    There will be sexings.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:38 No.9866760
    Except new hires are neutral to us. Alicia is on poor terms already.

    Going to have to disagree with you.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:39 No.9866777

    No, she's got Kats love from the change, (i.e. the point of this quest) so she's warm.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:40 No.9866782

    "How about Reginald? He might not be a bad choice. . ." You move your cock to the entrance of Felicia's ass, and you suddenly see her tail bristle up as she looks back over her shoulder at you in surprise.

    "Reginald," Alicia mutters. "Reginald. Fucking Reginald. I guess you'll be wanting to take Samantha too."

    "Why not?" you say, thinking better of it. Reaching into your bedside dresser, you pull out a tube of KY and begin lubing up Felicia's pooper. . . she relaxes at that, and even seems to enjoy it as your slick finger carefully lubricates her tight entrance. "It would be good to have them both along. They'd be a good, fast combat team. . ."

    "Look, is it too much to heaven-blessed ask for just to do this one god-damned thing without that stuck up Brit ponce and his slut daughter getting involved?" Alicia snaps. The chalk she's using to make her magic circle breaks. "Seriously, how the hell big do you think this handbasket is? It can barely seat three."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:40 No.9866796
    This. She loaths us even while posessing Kats love. Things will become real nasty once she's rid of that if we keep antagonizing her.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:41 No.9866808
    So tsundere.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:43 No.9866827
    "Slut? Do you know something I don't?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:43 No.9866832
    "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure yo- we, are safe."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:43 No.9866834
    sorry then, i'd just like to ensure we're all safe

    if it only holds three, then how about just us three go? i'll grab my shotgun , and some sandwiches and we'll make a day of it
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:43 No.9866838
    "All right, all right, we'll only bring Carmine. Along with us two, that makes three..."

    As for Felicia, j-j-j-jam it in.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:43 No.9866842
    So us, Alicia and support...

    Carmine with all her upgrades?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:44 No.9866843
    Fine then, the two of us can probably handle whatever's down there, if it's that important that it's just the two of us.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:44 No.9866848
    No, I think she just hates us for real.
    The fact that we're screwing her familiar while discussing this sure as hell doen't help the mood either.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866858

    We have to bring carmine. We just HAVE TO.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866863
    Yeah, this is the biggest trap since trap came to trap town. She doesn't want us bringing ANY of our allies, into her old realm, while we have her phylactery? Suuuuuure.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866864
    Wow, we're entering into "uncaring villain continues to have sex despite conversation."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866865
    I'd consider bringing Felicia, since she IS Alicia's former familiar, but I'm not too sure she'd be all that happy with us bringing her considering what we're doing right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866869
    She's a lust demon. I don't think she cares that much about sex for sex's sake; it's only when we start attaching significant emotion to it that she'll care.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:45 No.9866871
    >just the two of us.
    Is this Alicia's attempt at a "romantic" trip to hell, under the guise of a mission due to tsundere tendencies? No wonder she doesn't want anyone else to come along.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:46 No.9866884
    Not to mention she is probably seething with jealousy due to the stolen love sitting inside of her. Guys, we might be an asshole but we are a gentleman asshole still. Stop making the demon mad at us.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:47 No.9866893
    Just go with the two of us then.
    It's our fuck up we're trying to fix in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:47 No.9866900
    You know, I never thought of it like that.

    Yeah, we don't need anyone else. Have Reginald arm us to the teeth, then we should be good to go.

    We're doing this Doom style.

    But first, our catgirl needs some attention.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:47 No.9866902

    "Slut?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "Do you know something I don't?"

    "Isn't it obvious? The way that she's pressing herself up against you and being all flirty while pretending to be some innocent little thing that's so cool butter wouldn't melt in her snatch? That little vixen is a complete and total minx, and she's probably pounding her hairy clam right this moment thinking about your hot sausage pounding her in the cunt." She emphasizes that last word with a vicious stab of the chalk at the circle. "Those types are all the same. They act all innocent and straightforward, but they're the worst kind of schemers."

    "Rather like a woman who claims to just be here for a maid job and then decides to try and steal her employer's soul?" You j-j-j-jam you cock into Felicia's tight ass, making her myuuuuuuuuuu in a combination of pain and pleasure as her tightness grips your cock in a near death-grip.

    "Fuck you," Alicia growls.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:48 No.9866909
    >Stop making the demon mad at us.
    words of wisdom
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:49 No.9866924
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:49 No.9866931
    Man, that's a jealous demon.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:49 No.9866935
    this, but continue pooper
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:50 No.9866947
    Okay, we going solo or with Carmine? I vote with, she at least has Hell wisdom, upgrades and the right attitude
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:50 No.9866951
    Guys, guys, we STILL haven't had it contract'd that Alicia can't use magic without permission. This is just asking for trouble.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/17/10(Mon)01:50 No.9866955
    while I would aruge that it was her fuck up for messing with us, I cant help but think that its time to cunningly attempt to figure out if she is trying to trap us without allys, or if she wants alonetime with us.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:51 No.9866959
    Demanding immediate retcon.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:51 No.9866970
    Oh, fantastic. Well, we are already balls deep now and can't change that. Finish her up and go to hell with Alicia alone. Make it clear that we are doing this because of her tactical assessment and the fact we do have some trust in her and her abilities.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/17/10(Mon)01:52 No.9866978
    "is that an invitation?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:53 No.9866996
    Can we roll cunning to detect if this is tsundere or if this is what she really believes?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:53 No.9866999
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:53 No.9867002
    "Let's say you're right and Samantha is covertly scheming to get me to have sex with her. So what? As it happens, I've wanted to get some of that since about five seconds after laying eyes on her. So her schemes come to fruition, I sleep with her, and everyone wins, right?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:54 No.9867016

    Hypothesis: Maximillian was her old boyfriend, and was fucking a girl bvery much like her description of Sam on the side, hence his disquiet at Alicia moving close to him.

    Therefore, she hates the fuck out of Sam's archetype because of that, and it's probably what sent her into a bitter spiral to make her become the demon queen of lust.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:54 No.9867018
    It is so blatantly tsundere, and we are doing someone in the same room with her. Right before we go into hell. With a demon. Who is jealous and mad at us.

    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:55 No.9867032

    >Cunning: 12
    >Alicia's Cunning: SECRET

    As far as you can tell, she is being the most tsundere tsundere that ever tsundere'd. But she's also hiding something else.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)01:56 No.9867055
    Also, Cunning Check 2:

    > Your Cunning: 18
    > Alicia's Cunning: SECRET

    Whatever is making her mad, it's not you fucking Felicia. She seriously doesn't seem to care about that at all.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:57 No.9867064
    gently ask her what's really wrong
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:58 No.9867075
    I'm guessing she has a fuckton of cunning, which makes sense considering she was a powerful demon of lust. Time to start another investigation after we go through hell to find out what that is.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:58 No.9867078

    >assfucking Felicia

    How is that going, by the way?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:58 No.9867081

    "would you just spill it already? I can't really do anything about something I'm not even really aware of."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)01:59 No.9867094
    So, what's the current plan for who we're bringing.

    Just us and Alicia?
    Also, I'm liking the "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you- we, are safe." that some anon suggested earlier, shoehorn that in, if you can.
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/17/10(Mon)01:59 No.9867101
    second on that. Before we go into the mouth of hell, we need to know this. Might be wise to offhandedly mention the "should probly bind your magical spells for my safety. But I actually trust you, funny isent it?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:00 No.9867116
    I don't think so. I think that perhaps she WAS a girl like Sam at one point and it is awakening bad feelings and memories.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:00 No.9867117
    someone thinks that we should be more direct with Alicia?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:00 No.9867127
    Or. OR. Alicia used to be very much like Sam, and has some amount of self-loathing resulting from the (assumed) betrayal Max dealt her. She doesn't like Sam because she sees all the personality traits she despised in herself (I think the psychological term is projection).

    Or, y'know, I could be totally over-analyzing the poorly-veiled fap-fiction. Whichever, really.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:03 No.9867167
    Yeah, let's head down with just us and Alicia. We can tell Jehanne later that we didn't take her because didn't want her hurt/she seemed against it/some other bullshit.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:03 No.9867177

    >Affection 6
    >Alicia's Affection Check: Secret

    "Look, I'm just trying to. . . why don't you just spit it out? I mean, I want to keep you safe, but I can't do anything about something you won't tell me about. . . "

    "Then DON'T!" Alicia snaps. "You think things are really that easy?"

    You wind up frozen, balls-deep inside your catgirl, as Alicia walks over to you and gets right in your face, seemingly unconcerned that you're in the middle of butt-sexxing her former familiar right in front of you. "This. . . this is what I HATE about you. . ." she seethes. "The fact that you seem to think that. . . that. . . TALKING about everything will solve it. Or the fact that you think that you can solve EVERYTHING just because you're you. Well, here it is. Some problems, you can't solve. Sometimes, it's not about YOU. So why don't you finish up what you're doing while I put the breakfast dishes back in the kitchen to get washed up, all right? Because the more I'm here talking with you about this, the angrier I get."

    And with that, she picks up the breakfast dishes and walks out, slamming the door behind her. You hear her stomping down the hallway and down the stairs as she takes the dishes back to the kitchen.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:04 No.9867190

    Agreed. We should follow Alicia's advice on this. We need her to realize that we want to trust her and her judgment.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:06 No.9867212
    >So why don't you finish up what you're doing
    >frozen, balls-deep inside your catgirl
    Well, this seems like solid advice.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:06 No.9867216
    Well that ended poorly. Finish on up and get ready to head into hell.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:07 No.9867238
    try to make it good for felicia, also cuddles till alicia gets back
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:07 No.9867243
    bleh. Fine then. Let's finish up Felicia and go handle this situation. I'm sure plot development will give us a chance to act in a way more favorable than any more talking out problems.

    Although I'm very surprised at getting called out for not being able to solve this by being us. Aren't we the main character? Bravo GM.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:07 No.9867246

    > Saving throw against boner-loss: 4+ on 1d6
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:08 No.9867253
    rolled 6 = 6

    I'm assuming you want us to roll on that.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:09 No.9867274
    >Some problems, you can't solve.
    Shout after her: "Especially not if you don't even try and are content with just wallowing in self pity about them!"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:09 No.9867277

    Seems that being in love again, even if via magic, has awakened some serious issues from the past.

    Show Felicia the full extent of what we have learned, since this couldn't have been the most pleasant experience for her thus far. Then get ready to go solo with Alicia, grab a shotgun and our .38.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:09 No.9867281
    Hug her, just hug her. Tell her you are sorry and you will stop bothering her about it. Tell her that if she does want to talk to you about it she can do it when she is ready. Smile at her and thank her for the breakfast.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:10 No.9867300
    That would probably work if we weren't balls deep in a catgirl.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:11 No.9867301
    Leave Felicia, and find Alice.
    Apologize, then...
    "I talk just so I know what to do. I'm going to hell itself for you, helping you gain back your power. I'm taking your advice, and not following my own instinct.

    I may a talk a lot, but talking isn't the end goal. I do, and I'll help with actions."
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:12 No.9867315
    Finish up, we can talk all we want with her when we are on our mission.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:12 No.9867316
    Bullshit. We are us, and we are world class in two things and soon more. We have alien technology, have gone to other universes, and have won the hearts of no less than five sentient beings including: a demon, a paladin, a highly trained combat maid, a trap, and a catgirl.

    If we can't solve it then it can't be solved.

    Even then, we have a chance to do something about it to make it solvable.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:12 No.9867319
    All right, ignore that last post, doing a retcon while I take a poll.

    Continue with Felicia, or abort? If you want to continue, you can.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:13 No.9867323
    Okay, we've got her talking a bit, even if it's about how much she hates us. That's good. The angrier she gets, the more it wraps around when we trigger the deredere side.

    Let's prep for a solo adventure with Alicia, but let someone else in the house know what's going on. If we get betrayed or something bad happens, they can be ready to mount a rescue operation.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:13 No.9867325
    Get good terms with Alicia.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:13 No.9867336
    fuck it, we're this far in we might as well.

    then grab some guns. shotgun wouldn't be bad, although if we can manage a machine gun or something that'll probably be preferable.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:13 No.9867339

    we are going to hell... of course we should have a nice last fuck
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:14 No.9867342

    we can fuck the cat whenever, need to build actual interesting relationship with demonbitch

    so far most stuff has been. . . . topical, and there's nothing wrong with that but whatever this is sounds interesting
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:14 No.9867349
    Continue. We can speak to Alicia after she's calmed down a bit. Besides, Felicia has feelings too.

    Do lots of rubbing; make her feel good.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:14 No.9867353
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:14 No.9867354
    I say continue and try to make Felicia enjoy it. While I do want to talk with Alicia more, she's pissed at the moment and probably wouldn't respond well, and we'll have another chance to chat her up on our trip to hell.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:14 No.9867356
    Abort, we can make it up to her later but right mow we have a good chance to get some development with Alicia.
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:15 No.9867361
    continue, talk during mission
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:15 No.9867366
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867378
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867381

    and none of the others, so, no
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867384
    Nope, as one of those I can assure you I'm a different homosexual.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867387
    Always finish what you start, and soothe the person who suffered from the wrath you incurred even if it means takign extra time to do so.

    Alicia is mad enough that going after her immediately will only antagonize her further. She can wait; if she thinks we can't do anything about the situation, the only way to prove her wrong is to prove her wrong. However, she should pay a price for interfering with Felicia's playtime when she was the one who encouraged it to happen.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867389
    I'm gonna have to go with abort. Some things are important.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:16 No.9867391
    As >>9867325, I can tell you I have samefagged a bit, but this is actually not one of these cases.

    Also, I'll only do two posts, not three.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:17 No.9867401
    Leave latest post intact, continue with Felicia.

    Let Alicia blow off some steam.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:17 No.9867404
    anons, i know this is a game... but you should think like the character.
    why nobody seems to be worried about the hell trip?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867420
    we've never actually come close to losing a fight for 1

    for another, shotguns loli demons and why the hell not?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867421
    its not like we've never been there before
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867422
    Votes are:

    Abort 3
    Continue 6

    In the interests of ending at a slightly reasonable (yeah right) time for those people who have finals. . .

    Although you're feeling subdued and slightly chastened by Alicia's outburst, you've got a job to do. . . and you do it. Maybe your thrusting isn't as vigorous as it could be, and maybe you don't last as long as usual, but in the end, Felicia seems to appreciate your efforts, and she does give you a sympathetic kiss on the nose when it's all over and she's sprawled out on the bed with cum leaking from her pooper.

    "Want to come with us?" you ask, as you cuddle up with her in bed afterwards (it seems the least you could do, given how patient your catgirl is). "I mean. . ."

    Felicia shakes her head. "Myu," she says, and she gives you a poke on the nose, then another kiss, before heading over to the bookshelf to go back into the secret passageway and head back to her room. You lay on the bed for a while staring up at the ceiling, reflecting on the situation.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867424
    We've been there before. WITHOUT weapons. We did okay.
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867425
    Also, we beat one of the leaders of hell before. Naked.

    We will be fine.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:18 No.9867427
    been there, done that
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:19 No.9867436
    Among other things we've got a demon and guns(hell, it's possible we're gonna be packing DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLES -- unlikely but possible)
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:19 No.9867440
    Kiss Felicia before she leaves.

    Sigh. Curse the world.

    Then get up and take a shower.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:20 No.9867449

    i'm just saying that we are too self confident
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:21 No.9867456

    That's pretty much our MO, you realize.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:21 No.9867457
    Tell Reginald to prepare us for hell, literally. Ask him and Jehanne to check on the handbasket should things go terribad, between them there should be enough hell and combat knowledge
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:21 No.9867462
    We just know we're going to get utterly fucked over. So why not just wait calmly for the drop of the other shoe.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:21 No.9867465
    Getting through things we have no right to get through by using our supreme confidence, luck, and relying on our maids is how we operate.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:22 No.9867476

    Eeeeehhh. No. Alicia's pissed, she doesn't like those two, and having them go over and second-guess her ritual is just going to make matters worse.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867499
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867500
         File1274077454.jpg-(1.36 MB, 2232x2256, 1273040441635.jpg)
    1.36 MB
    Moving on. . .

    After Felicia leaves, you take a moment to take a shower, get dressed, and then GET TACTICAL.

    You've finished dressing up like some Mall Ninja Swat Team Reject by the time that Alicia knocks on the door. When you open it, you get a bit of a surprise.

    For one, she's not wearing the white sundress she was earlier. She's dressed a bit more like. . . well, take a look at the sidebar pic, but far more loli.

    And yes, she does have horns, wings, and a tail now. It seems that blue and black are her colors.

    If she notices you noticing her sudden change of costume, she doesn't seem to care, but heads over to the magic circle on the ground and gives you a glance over the shoulder. "Well?" she asks. "Are you coming?"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867505
    Agreed. Give Felicia a kiss, skidaddle to hell. To much time awastin', and it's only pissing our tsun-tsun succubus off.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867508
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867510
    compromise then. have them on standby should we need them, but only if we're about to get our asses kicked.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867511
    Naw, the main reason we're going back to hell is to fix our colossal fuck up with Kat, we'll need to do this with as little help as possible.
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:24 No.9867515
    Kiss catgirl before she leaves.
    Take a shower and get dressed.
    Grab a pistol and shotgun, and plenty of ammo.
    Also a CCW.

    Ask paladin if she can give us a blessing or something to help us out.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:25 No.9867522

    Let's do this thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:25 No.9867528
    "A bit prematurely."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:25 No.9867530
    If paladins draw demons like ants to sugar than a paladin blessing will too.

    Probably better to go as our corrupted perverted asshole self. We'll blend in.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:25 No.9867533
    double check to be sure you brought her phylactory

    if so, climb aboard
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:26 No.9867542
    haha, this
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:26 No.9867544

    >"Then Let's"
    >Put on sunglasses
    >"Go to hell"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:26 No.9867545
    ... So she looks like Etna? Hot damn.


    Dramatic gun cock.

    "Let's go."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:26 No.9867546
    I confess, I laughed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:27 No.9867552

    Did we make sure to bring Silver buckshot as well as normal, slugs, and FRAG-12 for our AA-12?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:27 No.9867558
    This, got to fulfill our quota of horrible puns.
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:27 No.9867562
    herp derp slowpoke

    Say, "Can't we save that til after we are done with this mission?"
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:27 No.9867563

    "A bit prematurely," you quip.

    Expecting another lashing sting or sardonic snap, you instead get a look of true mortification on Alicia's face, and in a small voice, she says, "You're right. I'm sorry. It wasn't fair what I did to Felicia. You two deserved to have your time together without me being a bitch."

    ". . . apology accepted," you say, but your spider sense is now tingling.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:27 No.9867569
         File1274077674.png-(189 KB, 974x1400, ai_no_mahou-049.png)
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    I didn't ever think cover pics would see use in my life
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:28 No.9867574
    ok, then we are ready and the girl is no waiting
    give a deep sigh and go on like a man
    (and pray a bit cause we are going down)
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:28 No.9867577

    The cosmology is going to have a total bitch of a time figuring out whether to send us to heaven or hell when we die, considering we alternate between pervert bastard and white knight almost form minute to minute.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:28 No.9867581
    No, take that back.
    Don't say apology accepted, instead apologize in return.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:29 No.9867592

    Give her a quick hug.
    "When you're ready."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:30 No.9867605
    retract apology accepted

    "and I'm sorry for pushing the issue. I want to be sure that you understand that whether it's talking or something else I at least want to know if I can help, but I won't bring it up again if you don't want me to."
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:30 No.9867609
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:30 No.9867613

    This is not good.

    All senses on high alert. Spot checks every ten meters. Roll to disbelieve every twenty.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:30 No.9867614
    >You're right. I'm sorry.
    Take a moment to scoop our jaw up from the floor.
    Did she just apologoze?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:31 No.9867631

    AA-12 - Condition 1, full combat load with buckshot drum mag.
    BA VEST - Full ammo load(Buckshot, slugs, FRAG-12, AND Silver)
    Phylactery is safe.
    Sidearm available and loaded. Spare mags accessible.
    Sword/Knife is still there.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:31 No.9867634
    Stop pointless talking, it's pissing her off. Our newly amazing Athletics checks will do the talking for us as we fight demons in HELL.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:31 No.9867636
    Well, let's head down with her for some alonetime. Guard up in every direction, however.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:32 No.9867644
    GO INTO HELL while we actually have her soft side with us
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:32 No.9867650
    >> Harmless 05/17/10(Mon)02:32 No.9867654

    retcon incoming?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:33 No.9867659
    I'm not sure if we actually DO have her soft side right now.

    Or if it exists.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:33 No.9867668
    Do we have our Magician Costume ready to put on?

    Seems it would be nice to have magical abilities in hell.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:33 No.9867669

    Retracted. . .

    ". . . I'm sorry too," you say. "I shouldn't be so pushy all the time. It's just that. . ."

    "Shut up and get in the circle," Alicia says. "And put one foot in the picnic basket."

    Feeling a bit like an idiot, and more than a little miffed that Alicia won't let you apologize, you walk into the magic circle and put one foot into the wicker basket. Alicia closes her eyes and waves her hands around, reciting some magic words. A burst of flame appears around you, all along the chalk-drawn symbols, although the flames don't seem to scorch the wooden floor, or anything else they touch.

    "Just one thing," Alicia says. "Promise me that if I tell you to do something, you'll do it right away, no questions. Hell is not a safe place. . . and you made me sign a damn pledge to keep you safe."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:34 No.9867680
    Yup and yup.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:34 No.9867686
    We troll. Even the god damned otherworld. It's how we roll.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:34 No.9867693


    Once we're in hell, 360 scan of the area, make damn well sure the perimeter is secure.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:34 No.9867696
    "... I promise.

    I trust you, Alicia."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:35 No.9867699
    Agree. Without qualifying or getting into some conversation or banter. Let's avoid pissing her off more.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:35 No.9867702
    hastily agree.

    the LAST thing we need is for her to renege on the contract and let us die here.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:35 No.9867713
    As long as it doesn't get either one of us killed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:36 No.9867725
    I'm like 99% certain we didn't make a contract that she has the freedom to rip to shreds at any point.

    We had lawyers... and we're not that stupid are we?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:36 No.9867727

    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/17/10(Mon)02:38 No.9867759
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:39 No.9867765
    if we die, the contract is null since she won't have a master to answer to. so if she reneges on the contract and we die, she's off the hook.

    the only way she gets ass-fucked is if she reneges and we manage to survive anyway.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:40 No.9867795
    This anon is a god among men.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:41 No.9867799

    "All right," you say. "I trust you."

    Alicia blinks at that. . . and then, without another word, she snaps her fingers.

    You're not sure whether it's that you're getting smaller, or the basket is getting HUEG, but suddenly, you're sitting inside the empty basket, and you're looking out above the edge of the loose wicker weave at your bedroom. You're trying to wrap your head around the weird distortions of perspective, and then there is a whoosh of wind, a burst of black light, and a stomach-churning tumbling sensation. . .

    And then you're falling into darkness. There is the scent of sulfur and fire all around, and you are descending from on high into a deep chasm leading down into eternity. All around you are the screaming damned, and the leathery wingbeats of demons flying to and fro. . . none of them seem to pay you any mind as you descend through the clouds like Calvin and Hobbes in a cardboard box, some twisted fiendish amalgam of Bill Watterson and Heironymous Bosch. . .
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:41 No.9867807

    I think the contract is powerful enough that she isn't physically capable of violating the contract. If she was a lot stronger, maybe, but not right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:43 No.9867830

    "They should put something like this in at disneyland"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:45 No.9867870
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    We're on an express elevator to hell. Wooooooo!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:45 No.9867874
    Watch hallucinations absentmindedly, as if they're really not a big deal.

    It's not like we're going to hell or anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:46 No.9867888
    oh, wait...
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:48 No.9867927
    the fact that you realized the paralells to C&H makes you a god among DM's.


    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:48 No.9867929
    +5 Xp for Aliens Reference. Total is now 15.
    "They should put in a ride like this at Disneyland," you absently say, as a screaming soul floats by, being disemboweled by a demon with a rusty flensing knife.

    "I've never been to Disneyland," Alicia admits.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:49 No.9867945
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    Hang on, we're in for some chop.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:49 No.9867947
    wanna go when we get back?
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 05/17/10(Mon)02:50 No.9867960
    "Well it might make a fun trip then. Course with the lines now it might be a little too familar to you."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:50 No.9867961

    "Really? We should plan a trip there, then. It's not like we'll have a money shortage in the future, at any rate."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:50 No.9867963

    Everyone should go at least once, we'll go when we get back.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:51 No.9867981

    It's like the Mecca Pilgrimage for captialists.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:51 No.9867984
    "Well, now we know where we're going after this."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:51 No.9867986

    "We should go when we get back," you say.

    "I'd like that," Alicia replies, smiling.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:53 No.9868023

    Excellent. =D
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:54 No.9868037
    >"We should go when we get back," you say.

    >"I'd like that," Alicia replies, smiling.

    We just signed ours or Alicia's death warrant. No one says a line like that and lives! It's like saying, "I've only got one more week on the force until I retire." You just know something's gonna go down.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:54 No.9868039
    I have the opposite sense, but I'm an optimist.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:56 No.9868062
    Damn, I sleep now.

    Whatever you do, demon loli is our maid, and we can lol troll hell itself while we fight, use that fucking cunning
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)02:57 No.9868077
    It seems to take a long time for the handbasket to descend to its destination, but in practice, it can't have been longer than an hour or two. . . in any case, you soon land none-too gently in the ruins of what used to be Alicia's tower.

    "I thought it would be bigger," you say."The ruins, that is."

    "It was," Alicia points out. "But it was mostly made up of damned souls fucking all the time. Remember that? So when it collapsed, all the demons stole them. So yeah, all that's left are the bricks and mortar. What little of it I used."

    She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country, or a disaster area, searching for some lost trinket in the ruins of her former life.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:58 No.9868095
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:58 No.9868097

    Don't watch HER, watch the GODDAMN PERIMETER. Check for movement and flashes off reflective objects. Keep AA-12 in low/ready.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:58 No.9868104
    and that's why we do everything in our power to make sure we both come home safe

    in fact, as a start to that

    "alicia, no matter what happens i order you to do your best to make sure we BOTH get home safe, even if it means failing the mission"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)02:58 No.9868108
    >She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country

    Well, you just triggered my hug instinct.
    I'd suggest hugging her, and holding her politely while saying "I'm sorry."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:00 No.9868125
    Eyes and ears, people, eyes and ears.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:00 No.9868130
    Don't, it would be the perfect chance for anything that might lurk nearby to jump on both of us in one fell swoop.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:00 No.9868139
    Good idea.

    Fuckawful timing.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:01 No.9868144
    Check our surroundings. In keeping with the Aliens reference, Stay Frosty.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:01 No.9868146
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    Just make it an order for her to make sure we both get back safely.

    >She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country, or a disaster area, searching for some lost trinket in the ruins of her former life.
    ...pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:01 No.9868149
    Bonding opportunity.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:02 No.9868160
    Keep an eye on the basket, since I presume we'll be going back in that.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)03:02 No.9868166
    So. . . do you want to focus on the bonding opportunity, or watch the perimeter?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:03 No.9868183
    just a brief perimeter glance while walking up towards her
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:03 No.9868186
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:04 No.9868192

    As much as I'd LOVE to bond, we're in HELL. Watch the perimeter, otherwise we're gonna end up the mother of all clusterfucks.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:04 No.9868195
    Bonding, we don't have a ton of chances for that.

    Last I heard you could keep watch and talk at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:04 No.9868197
    Check perimeter, then move in for hug, then check again.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:04 No.9868200
    Watch the perimeter. If we manage to pick something off that goes for Alicia we can be badass AND have some bonding afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:05 No.9868212
    We should be able to do both. We're the goddamn Protagonist.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:06 No.9868227
    Let's try and do both, leaning towards the bonding.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:07 No.9868235
    Watch the perimeter.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:09 No.9868267
    Do both.
    We're not some kind of eyes-closed-because-I'm-hugging retard.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:11 No.9868295
    In that case, if she objects, say something about being able to watch from both sides and reduce how much of us is exposed. Then hug her tighter.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:12 No.9868309
    I believe we may have started autosaging
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:12 No.9868311
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    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)03:12 No.9868322
    Although it's hard, you manage to tear your eyes away from Alicia and keep an eye on the perimeter. It's a bit hard, because it's hell, and hell is filled with demons, but like the early borg, they don't seem to pay attention to you unless there's a need to.

    "Are you okay?" you ask, after a bit, once you're satisfied that you're not about to be jumped by horrible demons. "I mean, this is. . ."

    "I don't really want to hear that from the person who caused this in the first place," Alicia points out.

    "Fair enough."

    "I think I've found it. . . yeah, here it is," Alicia says. She brushes aside some of the rubble, revealing a flagstone slightly different from the others. She touches a rune carved into it, nearly covered in dust, and says a magic word.

    The stone glows and slides aside, revealing a passage downwards into darkness. . .
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:14 No.9868340

    Let her take point, we'll cover our six.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:14 No.9868344
    Still voting for an "I'm sorry."
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:16 No.9868361
    But we're not sorry. We'd do it all again, if we had the option to undo it. Had to be done at the time.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:16 No.9868372
    Why should we be? It's not our fault she bit off more that she could chew.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 05/17/10(Mon)03:17 No.9868382

    >> Anonymous 05/17/10(Mon)03:19 No.9868409
    Yes, I would do it again, because there was no alternative. However, that doesn't mean it was nice.
    So do a lot of things, but if you destroy them utterly, there is an emotion called remorse that often fits.

    And besides, we're trying to get on goods terms here, and those are some high-emotion words, heartfelt or not.

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