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    410 KB MAID QUEST PART XX - RANGE TOUCH ATTACKS Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:47 No.9327869  
    It is night of Day 9 of 30.

    You're on a boat. You're sitting with Jehanne. Things are getting touchy feely.

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:48 No.9327885

    Touch her hand.

    "You shouldn't feel guilt and shame, especially not when you're helping people. You're probably one of- no, THE kindest, noblest person I've ever met.

    You're a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Jehanne... I love you."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:48 No.9327890
    Discuss the HAX way we found of becoming a Priest of Bahamut.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:48 No.9327891
    Well, what are you thinking?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:48 No.9327892
    I thought we loved Sam?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327903
    "Jehanne... I can't devote myself fully to you. You've... seen me with Felicia - and there will be others. Can you still love me in spite of that?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327904

    No, no, if we tease her into making the first move, then she FALLS and she'll be a FALLEN PALADIN.

    Then she can swap out levels for levels of Blackguard. PROFIT
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327907
    We love all women. But ESPECIALLY the one who is in front of us when we say we love her.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327912
    rolled 76 = 76

    Don't fret, plenty of love to go around.
    >> G. D. !!Y8HG2fUusNY 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327914
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327915
    Was going to say, that's fine, but I would cut the "I love you" bit; seems WAY forward, and she'll get the point that we care about her by virtue of, well, us having told her that we care about her.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327918
    >I love you

    DO NOT UTTER THESE WORDS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If Sam or Reginald hear we are ten kinds of screwed.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327923
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327925
    . . . so, confess love or not?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327926
    In all honesty, I think I've grown to like Jehanne more now. Also, Jehanne doesn't have an overprotective father in close proximity with our balls in his crosshairs.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327930
    no "I love you"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327931
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327933
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327934
    Yeah, no "I love you"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327936

    Remember what quest we're playing, guys- we're all weeabo here, there's few ways this can end without a harem.

    On the other hand, if Samatha is more a single-single kind of gal, and she baaaws to Reggie...

    Let's let HER make the first move umkay?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327937
    see >>9327903
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:50 No.9327938
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327942
    And whats wrong with polygamy?

    Besides everything thats wrong with polygamy...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327944
    no confession, everything from those lines is good, EXCEPT TEH LOVE
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327946

    Voting for confessing that we love her.

    And most of the other maids.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327949
    >glowing respect, and healthy fear, of Reginald

    I really do love that character.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327951
    Well, if nothing else, we're being honest...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:51 No.9327958
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327962
    We want her to make the first choice. If she can still love us despite our... indiscretions and our plan with marrying Sam, then lets let her know we love her too. Just that we can't be bound to her in marriage.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327971
    The odds of Samantha overhearing us are simply massive, so I'd hold of on any confessions of love.

    Of course, my plan of action isn't much better.

    "...you're not thinking of molesting me, are you? Because I'm actually pretty okay with that."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327974
    Let her know how much we CARE about her, and continue line of inquiry about god. (NO FORWARD MOVEMENTS WITHOUT A DOOR THAT LOCKS)
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327980

    "I hope you chose a good one," you tell Jehanne. "A good god, that is."

    You reach out and touch her hand. "You shouldn't feel guilt and shame, especially not when you're helping people. You're probably one of- no, THE kindest, noblest person I've ever met. You're a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

    Jehanne nods, looking at you. Her eyes are glistening wet with unshed tears.

    "Jehanne... I can't devote myself fully to you. You've... seen me with Felicia - and there will be others. Can you still love me in spite of--."

    And your words are cut off by her putting a finger to your lips, then kissing you, very gently, under the starry skies.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327981
    Fuck it. Break into song.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327983
    Don't confess love at this point (to any maid, but especially not if their not Sam.)

    Otherwise that intro line was solid.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:52 No.9327984
    Ask her if she'll teach us part of her WARRIORS WAY. How to pwn bitches with blades, n shit.

    Preferably while in skimpy clothing.

    ... I can't be the only one who took off all of Bastila's clothes on tantooine, right? Jedi don't get shit for armor bonuses from those robes anyhow, and it's hot on tantooine...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:53 No.9327986
    Well, at least we're not a bunch of abusive, incestuous, mormon faggots.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:53 No.9327994
    Kiss back, THEN.... TO THE BEDROOM, CHECK ROOM FOR ANYONE, REMOVE THEM. then bring Jehanne in. LOCK DOOR!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:53 No.9327997
    YES, I WIN!
    Time to sleep now. Better archive this shit so I can read it!
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:53 No.9327998
    Return affection.

    Perform mental fist-pump.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328009
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328017
    And then the sequel to MaidQuest was MormonQuest and it was horribleawesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328020
    Kiss her back, running a hand through her hair.

    "Jehanne, is it okay if...?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328022

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328023
    Fund it!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:54 No.9328026
    ...I vote for our next wacky excursion we go to mormonland.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328030
    Also someone should probably archive the last thread before it autosages into oblivion.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328034
    Most people I know kept Bastila naked the entire game. :/

    You return Jehanne's kiss, just as tenderly. When you finally pull away, she takes you by the hand and, picking up her towel and clothes, leads you up into the owner's suite.

    You manage to avoid meeting anyone else, and you lock the door to your suite, just as you hear Jehanne step into the shower and turn it on.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328035
    Did we just become a god in her eyes? Did we just be come the Emperor?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328039
    Let's just... go with the flow.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328043
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:55 No.9328045
    Return kiss, but let her lead (with some... subtle encouragement.)

    If we take this to the bedroom, don't forget to put on our robe and wizard hat first. So she can topple the evil magicians mighty tower.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:56 No.9328049
    *cue tenderly washing her body scene*
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:56 No.9328057

    >Most people I know kept Bastila naked the entire game. :/


    Well, to be fair, if you didn't derive great amusement from teasing and heckling the shit out of her, that was about all she was good for.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:56 No.9328063
    For once, I am okay with something softcore.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328065
    Join her in the shower starting off as helping her with getting the salt out of her hair and see where it goes from there.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328071
    Step into the shower with her. Wash her back gently.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328073
    Inb4 he gets all the maids pregnant
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328075

    Oh god, can we pull this off? Can we be her diety?

    We need researchan' and magican' to make this happen!

    Also; repeating my cry for robe and wizard hat and really really lame references.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328076

    "can I put my Tower of Orthnac in your Ring of Isenguard?"
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:57 No.9328080
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:58 No.9328087
    Whoa, whoa, we're not asking her for anal ALREADY. Take it slow.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:58 No.9328088
    I think that going softcore with Jehanne would be appropriate. She just sends off that tender vibe of "hurt yet innocent" like Samantha.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:58 No.9328089
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:59 No.9328096
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:59 No.9328101
         File1271829555.jpg-(18 KB, 213x334, 1250829117894.jpg)
    18 KB
    >might tower
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:59 No.9328110
         File1271829589.jpg-(46 KB, 409x405, 1258906660219.jpg)
    46 KB

    >She just sends off that tender vibe of "hurt yet innocent" like Samantha.

    Doesn't... she... just....
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:01 No.9328125

    You notice, as you walk in, that Jehanne seems to be rinsing the salt off her body by posing in a way that seems to show herself off a bit too much to be natural.

    You step into the shower with her (its one of those huge dealies with the multiple shower heads and all), and grab a loofah and some body wash from your shower rack (hey, even a guy's gotta have nicely moisturized skin). Working up a nice lather, you run the loofah over her pale-skinned boy, washing off the salt water drying out her smooth skin.

    Her body is strong, but not overly hard, and although your fingers trace lines over a few scars on her smooth curves, you are suddenly struck by just how vulnerable she seems like this: naked in your arms, her eyes closed as she feels you washing off her naked body, just letting you run your hands all over her arms, her legs, her stomach, and, yes, her breasts as well. She arches her back a bit, and smiles.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:01 No.9328140


    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:02 No.9328147

    You people disgust me.

    Lets see some goddamn potency, some goddamn atavism.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:02 No.9328149
    Kiss her again, circle around her belly button, tentatively moving slowly downwards. Stop if she starts to look uncomfortable.

    We don't want to fuck her. We want to make love to her.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:02 No.9328154

    >you are suddenly struck by just how vulnerable she seems like this:

    Ten bucks says she knows the grapple rules rather better then we do.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:03 No.9328158
    >her pale-skinned boy
    Still subconsciously pining for Kat, I see.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:03 No.9328165

    I own a fucking AP stylebook and not even I tried to grup for XP from that one. :-(
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:03 No.9328169
    5XP. :P 30 total.

    You move the loofah up to her back now, and begin to scrub. She croons a bit at the sensation, and sitting down on the shelf in the shower, lets you work. Her head is leaning forward, and her hair is hanging over her face as you continue to wash her.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:04 No.9328172
    Kiss her and wrap our arms around her waist (assuming were behind her for this.)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:04 No.9328176
         File1271829863.jpg-(52 KB, 500x336, 1268197153164.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:05 No.9328184
    Who isn't?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:05 No.9328186
    If we manage to wash her good and proper without fucking her or making any moves, that'd be hilarious. Considering how we get it on with the catgirl and the way we fucked Gordette Freeman.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:05 No.9328191
         File1271829925.jpg-(11 KB, 272x272, 1269937999918.jpg)
    11 KB
    >pale-skinned boy
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:06 No.9328197
    This would be hilarious, but totally out of character for us. Gotta vote that down in favor of moderate lechery; sorry bro.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:06 No.9328200
    She turns her head around as you lean over her shoulder and kiss her, on the lips. The first kiss is tender, and gentle, as you slide the loofah down her stomach, making small circles under her belly button, then tentatively move your hand down to between her legs. . .

    She arches her back into your hand as she parts her legs just a bit, letting you slip your hand between her thighs and cup her sex, your fingers tracing gently over her lips.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:06 No.9328205

    I'd say more "true to form." Our character has steered a narrow path between eagerly fucking those open to casual sex and treating the women he has emotional attachment/potential with a little more caution and respect.

    This'd be the first indication that the caution and respect isn't because of the threat of ball-ripping from Reginald.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:07 No.9328210
    Agreed. Though we can still stand to be gentile about our lechery.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:08 No.9328217
    So far, our most notable successes involved letting the woman set the pace, at least at the beginning. I'm all for continuing the gentle foreplay. Of course, don't bother hiding that we appreciate her body.
    Also, if we never masturbated in front of her, we could work that into it somehow. A faux innocent grin and a "You know, now that I think about it, I don't know that you ever got caught by the morning masturbation thing..". Except, you know, more creative and less likely to bad end.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:08 No.9328218
         File1271830106.png-(149 KB, 300x396, 1200386091641.png)
    149 KB

    >moderate lechery

    >in character

    ... yeah, that fits in-character just fine, actually.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:09 No.9328225
    Gently rub her, squeezing her breasts with our other hand. Bite the nape of her neck.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:09 No.9328234
         File1271830167.png-(159 KB, 512x512, datass_link.png)
    159 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:09 No.9328235
    I believe we've slowly refined and established our alignment to be Gentleman Asshole. We're classy when we need to be and a cunt when we have to be.

    Also; engaging Jehanne in a positive (shame free), sexual experience would probably be one of the better things we could do for her. Followed by making us into her god. (Wait a second...)
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:09 No.9328237
    Also, if we never masturbated in front of her, we could work that into it somehow. A faux innocent grin and a "You know, now that I think about it, I don't know that you ever got caught by the morning masturbation thing..". Except, you know, more creative and less likely to bad end.

    Hahahaha. I do kind of like this suggestion, I've gotta admit.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:10 No.9328249
    and or ear lobe

    Dem erogenous zones.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:11 No.9328259
         File1271830285.jpg-(69 KB, 920x690, Recovered_JPEG_241.jpg)
    69 KB
    (innocuous cute pic time!)

    You reach around her and squeeze her breasts as you bite the back of her neck: a bit roughly, but not enough to be painful. Jehanne giggles, and then starts to laugh.

    "Stop that!" she giggles, squirming in your grasp, trying to get away from your lips on the back of her neck. "That tickles! Oh god, I'm sorry! I must be ruining the mood, but. . ." she bursts out in laughter as she tries to wrestle out of your grasp.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:11 No.9328262
         File1271830308.gif-(1.18 MB, 300x169, dowant_supernatural.gif)
    1.18 MB

    >Bite the nape of her neck

    mmmm, yes, do this....

    Also, it occurs to me that this is the best thread on /tg/ right now. Make of that what you will.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:12 No.9328266
    Play it up, go for the cute, if goofy moment even if it takes away from the sexing moment. Just keep her comfortable, even if it means tickling her mercilessly.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:12 No.9328269

    >cute pic

    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:12 No.9328270
    with you dear. i don't think you could ruin the mood...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:13 No.9328275

    >as she tries to wrestle out of your grasp.


    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:13 No.9328276
    this ~
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:13 No.9328280
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:13 No.9328287
    Smile back at her and kiss her on the cheek.

    To get things back on track, gently probe into her pussy, circling her clit without actually touching it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:14 No.9328291
    Commence tickling!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:14 No.9328292

    BGM for all you touchy-feely bros.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:14 No.9328299
    attempt to wrestle, realize neither of you have any idea how grappling actually works, look embarrasadely at each other
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:15 No.9328306
    Are you kidding, she could snap us like a twig.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:15 No.9328308

    > Athletics vs Athletics: 12 vs 24

    Despite your best efforts, she's just too wet, slippery, and experienced in grappling: she pulls free of your grasp and laughs as she curls up under the shower head, letting the hot water rinse over her body and wash away the soapy lather. "You're evil!" she gasps, delightfully.

    "I am!" you growl, as you reach out and continue to tickle her.

    With a squeal of surprise, she pushes open the shower door and starts to crawl out into the bathroom, sopping water over the bathmat as she does so. "EEP! STOP STOP STOP IT!" she protests.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:15 No.9328312

    Tickling the combat-trained warrior is going to end in win, of one fashion or the other. Let us do this.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328317
    inb4 Reginald bursts in thinking we're raping her.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328318
    chase her to the bed threatening to tickle her!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328319
    >Gentleman Asshole

    I immediately had to check if there was a TVTropes page on this. There is not, and that makes me sad.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328320
    Within six seconds we're pinned and unconscious.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328321
    2+ saving throw on 1d6 :)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328323
    After her! The tickling will continue until morale improves!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:16 No.9328328
    Proceed to stop it.

    Give the biggest, most innocent grin in the universe.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328330
         File1271830620.png-(139 KB, 349x599, daaw supreme.png)
    139 KB
    >expect fucking

    >With a squeal of surprise, she pushes open the shower door and starts to crawl out into the bathroom, sopping water over the bathmat as she does so. "EEP! STOP STOP STOP IT!" she protests.

    I love how, even when the immediate future of this quest seems obvious, it still surprises me.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328331
    rolled 4 = 4

    Oh dear
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328332
         File1271830631.jpg-(140 KB, 800x908, 1271656381183.jpg)
    140 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328333
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328334
    How sound proofed is our cabin again?

    If yes, continue the tickling.
    If no... still continue the tickling?

    Also; teasingly ask her if she really wants us to stop, because everybody loves a tease, right?
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:17 No.9328339
    rolled 3 = 3

    Hope to god...
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:18 No.9328355
    You continue to chase the naked, sopping wet paladin out of the bathroom, laughing outrageously as the two of you continue your chase. Oddly enough, it seems to be edging its way towards your bed, for some reason.

    The reason soon becomes evident when Jehanne dives for your bed, grabs a pillow, and. . .

    > Athletics: 4 vs Luck 12

    . . . misses entirely, causing the pillow to fly past your head and into the bathroom.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:18 No.9328363
    rolled 6 = 6

    Excellent! We shall die some day; but at least, that day is not today.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:18 No.9328365
    tackle her and pin her to the bed
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:19 No.9328368
    Try to stifle a giggle and fail spectacularly, collapsing in spasms of laughter onto your bed.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:19 No.9328369
    And now I, having posted that, am saddened as well...

    Maybe... maybe there's another trope that's more or less the same, I mean its kind of the antihero of the harem anime, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:19 No.9328373
    Reginald is perfectly acquainted with our family line. And our room is sound-proofed. There is also the possibility he might be more than happy to see us after someone other than his daughter (then again, familiar with our family line regardless).

    Also, there are far worse interruptions:
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:19 No.9328379
    "Guess you should've taken a level in ranger."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:19 No.9328384
    wait, last i knew of we were fighting a giant squid on the boat, wheres that thread?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:20 No.9328387
    TACKLE AND PIN! followed by make out! and make love!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:20 No.9328391
         File1271830823.jpg-(68 KB, 480x320, 1211049180019.jpg)
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    *flying leap*
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:20 No.9328392
    One epic pounce is in order.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:20 No.9328394


    This seems to describe half our fuck-ups fairly well, at least.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:20 No.9328397
    Reached 300 posts, and is now on page something-or-other.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:21 No.9328406
    Must swan dive into bed.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:21 No.9328407
    This, playfully, then lock eyes with a somewhat somber face. Lean in and tell her that we'd go through hell for.

    Then start giggling uncontrollably.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:21 No.9328408

    tl;dr we got it drunk and talked it down. Yeah, I know.

    QUEST: tackle our pally and WRASSLE ON BED
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:22 No.9328414

    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:22 No.9328419

    "You should have taken a level in ranger!" you shout mockingly, secure in the knowledge that you will not be overheard in your sound-proofed cabin. "Me, I prefer rogue. . . Evasion!" you shout, as she throws another pillow at you and misses. "Tumble!" You dive at her, ducking her swung pillow. "BULL RUSH!" You grab her and tackle her onto the bed, making her shriek with laughter. "SNEAK ATTACK!"

    Pinning her down with your knees, you commence the tickling. She squirms and shrieks with laughter, but doesn't particularly try very hard, as you mercilessly tickle her ribs, her neck, the bottoms of her feet, anywhere you can get a grip on, despite her kicking legs and flailing arms.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:23 No.9328428
    Yeah, someone archive the older threads, please, and post links.
    >> Bag guy. 04/21/10(Wed)02:23 No.9328443

    This is adorable, and totally something I could see myself doing with someone I love.

    ...who is a tabletop RPGs.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:24 No.9328448
    Keep going for a while, then let her calm down.

    Then do this: >>9328407

    After that, kiss her again and ask...

    "How far are you willing to go tonight...?"

    Might want to check around for some lubricant, just in case...
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:24 No.9328452
    Do continue good sir...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:24 No.9328457
    Excellent. And now for the sexin'
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:25 No.9328461


    Somebody already archived, and I voted it up.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:25 No.9328467
    Already done.

    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:26 No.9328473

    Finally, exhausted and happy, you pin her down to the bed and look down at her, somberly. "Jehanne," you say, in a serious tone of voice. "I just need you to know something."

    "What is it, my liege?" Jehanne says, almost kittenishly.

    "I'd go through hell for. . . phhh. . ." You burst out giggling, shortly before Jehanne gives you a pillow to the face for your troubles.

    And yeah, you've got a fuck ton of pillows. Why? Because you're on a BOAT and you're RICH, motherfucker. Bitch be TRIPPIN' pillows!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:26 No.9328479
    That is a horrible idea. That question alone will fuck the mood over. You have to just let things happen when it comes to romance.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:26 No.9328481
    Have we/her/others already made LayOnHands jokes?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:27 No.9328484
    Oh good, let's hope there won't be a rat problem though, it'd be a shame if we had to hire some help from the fighter's guild.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:27 No.9328494
    Oh lord, why didn't I think of that. Someone, quick, come up with a good one.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:27 No.9328495
    ask her for a 'lay on hands' =D
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:28 No.9328509
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:28 No.9328513

    >Why? Because you're on a BOAT and you're RICH, motherfucker. Bitch be TRIPPIN' pillows!

    First extensive /k/ommando competence, now a seemingly endless knowledge of memes and references. If you start dropping military aviation references, you will be permanently and forever my favorite person.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:29 No.9328522
    in b4 Goshujin-sama googles millitary aviation references
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:30 No.9328531
    in b4 "You mean he isn't already?"
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:30 No.9328535
         File1271831430.jpg-(50 KB, 392x457, 1271727924114.jpg)
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    This work?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:30 No.9328539
    induring We should get a plane.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:30 No.9328540
    We could point out that establishing a pin in a grapple means we can silence our target. Proceed to kiss. Mood can continue to be playful, but if she surprises us, feel to go with the flow.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:31 No.9328543
    Counter, offer her a lay on hands. ;)

    'I know its normally your specialty, but I hear its better to give than to receive and I really want to give you a 'healing' surge'
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:31 No.9328552
    Do you realize what you've done?! Now the rest of this scene will end up being in the form of plane references and metaphors
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:32 No.9328561
    Nope. Change it to "Aileron Roll" and we can talk.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:32 No.9328562
    You calling Jehanne plain?

    or a metawhore?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:32 No.9328566
    Better planes than seafood...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:32 No.9328567

    In b4 that one pic of Warthog-tan with a penis.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:33 No.9328576
    Another gentile kiss would fit nicely here.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:33 No.9328579
    A gentile kiss? As opposed to a Jewish kiss?
    >> planefag 04/21/10(Wed)02:33 No.9328580
         File1271831620.png-(107 KB, 251x363, lick.png)
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    >Do you realize what you've done?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:33 No.9328590
    rolled 27 = 27

    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:34 No.9328593
    Maybe he actually means he wants you to do a barrel roll, though. It isn't like it's not an actual thing; just that it's not the same as what Peppy thinks it is.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:34 No.9328595
         File1271831649.jpg-(173 KB, 900x900, Recovered_JPEG_4216.jpg)
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    (innocuous pic time continues)

    You're not sure exactly how it happens, but it does.

    She takes the lead, almost as you expected: her touches are gentle, but firm, and surprisingly experienced, as she runs her hands up and down your bare chest and shoulders, down your back, kissing your lips, your neck, your ear, the hollow of your collarbones, pressing her naked body to you, feeling the firm softness of her bare breasts against your chest, the stiffness of her erect nipples brushing against your body.

    With a sigh, she rolls you onto your back and straddles you, the move so smooth and clean you never saw it coming. She guides you to her entrance and lowers herself on top of you, her moonlit face smiling as she takes your hands and places them on her high, firm breasts.

    She moves her hips slowly, rhythmically, letting you sink deep into her pink, wet folds, letting you feel her warmth, as she coaxes little groans and gasps of pleasure from your body. Her breath quickens as your hands close tightly around her tits, and she arches her back, letting her hair hang loose over her bare shoulders, as she continues to ride you, slow but sweet, your bodies joined under the starry night.

    When the release comes, it is just like your lovemaking: slow, but gentle, seeming more like an outflowing of tension than a passionate orgasm. Though she doesn't seem to cum herself, her smile clearly shows the pleasure she derives from your own enjoyment, and as you finish pumping your seed deep into her body, she leans down and kisses you on the lips, very lovingly, her eyes filled with grateful thanks.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:34 No.9328597
    That's the one where they rub their noses together, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:35 No.9328612
    Say we'll lay on hands... then start masturbating.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:35 No.9328623

    +1 for knowing what it's actually called?

    The hilarity is, the actual "barrel roll" is a defensive maneuver, while the Aileron Roll isn't.

    But I guess we can forgive Peppy because he's a fucking PELLET MUNCHING RABBIT
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:35 No.9328634
    go for round 2. only option.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:36 No.9328643
         File1271831793.gif-(21 KB, 307x249, Barrelroll.gif)
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    Yea, the proper barrel roll.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:36 No.9328649

    *Zelda Item Acquirement Music*
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:37 No.9328650
    This. It's only polite if we make her cum too.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:37 No.9328655
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:37 No.9328656
    This. Roll her over and take the top for round two. It's not necessary, but it seems to fit the mood.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:37 No.9328657
    Now, how we has half sex?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:38 No.9328669
    Lie with her for a while, stroking her hair and looking longingly into her eyes. Follow the moment from there.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:38 No.9328672

    Loli or the trap, technically.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:38 No.9328674
    we kinda fucked the scientist, but she was ignoring us for like 99% of it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:38 No.9328681

    Blasphemy. It's CUDDLE TIEM.


    Thank you, graphic saved. It's going to come in handy.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328687
    >Though she doesn't seem to cum herself
    So how do we right this in the future again?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328693
    And we officially hired her in the middle of it.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328694
    We banged science-maid before we had technically hired her yet, so he put it in as a half.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328695
    This is going to get really weird if we marry Sam later.

    "Hey, honey, you don't mind if I keep my harem, do you?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328696
    We hired Koyomi as we were sexing her, so it was ruled it counted for half of a successful MaidLay.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328697

    Actually, we fucked her before we (technically) hired her.

    So I guess if we fuck the loli or the trap we're the rest of the way there.

    'cept the trap is now a woman. OH LAWDY LAWDY
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:39 No.9328698
    Voting this.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:40 No.9328703

    "How was it?" she asks, her voice low and purring, like a kitten's.

    ". . . best lay on hands I've ever received," you quip.

    "Mmmmmmm. . ." she leans down and kisses you again, on the lips, then curls up and cuddles up to you, wrapping her arms around your neck. "You weren't bad either. . ."

    You roll over on top of her and pin her down, then kiss her. "New encounter," you grin. "Roll for initiative."

    She pushes you off, and then kisses you on the lips to soothe your hurt feelings. "I think you need a short rest first," she smirks, then leans down and gives your flaccid, spent phallus a playful kiss on the head. "You'll need to recharge some surges."

    ". . . so you have been reading 4e," you laugh.

    > Jehane's Relationship status changed to: DEVOTED
    > Gained a Sex Point (2.5/3)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:40 No.9328705
    And then Sam was our Uncle.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:41 No.9328718
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:41 No.9328719
    Very Well. I grapple (cuddle)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:41 No.9328726
    Kiss her once more, then cuddle up and sleep.

    No more needs to be said or done.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:42 No.9328731
    Hmmm. Hope she sticks around so that we can find out if Felicia will wake us up with Jehanne there (or if she'll wake up Jehanne for that matter, she was familiar to a demoness of lust after all).
    But before even the consideration of that, thank her and reaffirm our happiness. Can't come up with good words, so some gentle caressing of her face and a kiss could well be in order.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:42 No.9328735

    Did somebody say "corrupt the cutie?" I'm absolutely positive someone said "corrupt the cutie!"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:42 No.9328739
    Is there any way we can make a point to wake up in the morning and bring her breakfast.

    Just to continue our being ridiculously over the top with courting her, and because the role reversal could be touching.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:42 No.9328745
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:43 No.9328750

    you NEVER thank a bitch after you fuck her. poor form, dude.

    instead, cuddles, nibbling, and pillow talk.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:44 No.9328764
    I mean, unless its the most shameful of pity fucks.

    But then, ow.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:45 No.9328771
    >'cept the trap is now a woman.
    Nope. The trap now acts like a dude in addition to actually being a dude. We were going to get HIM turned into a HER because it's what she wanted but...

    Fuck it read the previous 3-4 threads for explanation of why our Trap Maid is now just a Chauffeur/Dude Servant.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:45 No.9328783
         File1271832342.png-(19 KB, 267x302, 1267846928518.png)
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    >implying sexual experience on /tg/

    >posting in a quest thread

    >about maids
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:46 No.9328790
    I think this is because there was a lot of speculation that our trap became a reverse trap (anti-trap) and was a chick masquerading as a dude.

    Though we seem to have evidence otherwise now, it hasn't been totally explained either way.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:46 No.9328793
    after her words, I have this horrible horrible urge:
    I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    I know this is wrong. Really, I do. But the urge remains.

    Also, while we wait, it wouldn't kill us to get in some tongue work. Presumably we'll be dealing with multiple girls at once, so it's inevitable (should there be those among us who feel it is something to avoid).
    Unless we should see about practicing on Felicia first I guess. We should offer, at least, and more by actions than words.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:47 No.9328799

    Dawn comes, and you find yourself lying in bed alone, with the memory of a soft, naked body in your mind. . . sitting up straight, you look around for any sign of Jehanne.

    She's gone. Last night feels like a dream.

    Except, that is, for the note left on your bedstand.

    As you open it, you find it written in a simple, but precise hand.

    It reads, simply, "Thank you."

    There is no signature, just the crescent symbol of Sehanine drawn where the signature would be.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:47 No.9328804
    Why wait then? We can get Jehanne to cum at least.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:48 No.9328815
         File1271832491.png-(117 KB, 798x302, 1254235863952.png)
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    Thats... that's what the bra's tell me.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:48 No.9328823

    Well, time for our usual morning routine...

    Masturbation, followed by a shower, dressing, and breakfast.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)02:49 No.9328830
    >It reads, simply, "Thank you."

    But seriously, good for her. Seizing her own destiny by the metaphorical balls, and whatnot.

    Should probably get dressed and head out onto the deck.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:49 No.9328832
    I guess this means Day 10? Let's do vacationy activity, with all maids present participating. Specifically watersports.

    What could possibly go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328838
         File1271832605.jpg-(30 KB, 480x640, its-beautiful.jpg)
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    i'm 27, and i just got into this stuff a year or two ago.

    anyway, fucking knuckles for our first day ON A MOTHERFUCKING BOAT
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328839
    Not THOSE kinds of watersports, I hope...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328840
    And then standard subverted. Nice play Goshukin, nice.

    It'd be nice to get to some robe and wizard hat magic action that we said we would get to a couple days ago. Maybe?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328843
    >There is no signature, just the crescent symbol of Sehanine drawn where the signature would be.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328845
    Shouldn't we be heading back to the mansion soon? We have a science maid to check in on.

    Also, what the devil has Carmine been doing on this boat trip?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)02:50 No.9328847
    Oh god... If he's using 4e Sehanine.... goddess of love. son of a...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:51 No.9328856

    Slight, if any, obstacle. If the powers of /tg/ combined can't turn somebody gay....
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:51 No.9328863
         File1271832692.jpg-(89 KB, 600x450, Recovered_JPEG_8372.jpg)
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    It is Day 10 of 30.

    WHAT DO?

    You get into the shower, and sigh happily as you wash yourself off. . . then, on an impulse, you put shampoo on your cock and start to beat off.

    You're in the middle of seriously cranking it when you hear a "nyu?" coming from right behind you.

    You flinch and turn around to see Felicia in your bathroom. She has this expression.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:52 No.9328878
    ...can we skip the catgirl sex for once?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:53 No.9328884

    That's actually a great way to go about it. I think the insular neckbeard covens could use a good, healthy injection of the bro mentality every now and then. I've seen it cut right through the bullshit and make people realize they're arguing over which little plastic model is more awesomer based on the itty bitty chapter decals painted on them.

    Carry on, sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:53 No.9328887

    the thanks was for helping her thru a rough patch, not the sweet, sweet love that followed.

    can we go skeet shooting on the bow?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:53 No.9328891
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:53 No.9328892
    Agreed. And let's go out to the kitchen to see if we can help.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:54 No.9328896
    "Not today, I'm not really feeling like it...

    I'll make it up to you later, I promise."

    Scritch her behind the ears.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:54 No.9328901

    Soap up catgirl and see if we can't make her chase suds.

    There's enough fa/tg/uy to go around, ladies.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:54 No.9328903
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    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)02:55 No.9328911
    You give Felicia a kiss on the forehead. "Not today, hon," you say.

    She nods and smiles, then walks out of the bathroom.

    You finish off. Then you finish taking your shower.

    After getting dressed and eating breakfast, you walk out onto the deck of your boat and find that you're coming back into port. "We're going home?" you ask Reginald.

    "Nearly out of food and beer," Reginald admits, "and also, Carmine got tired of punching sea animals in the face."

    You glance over at Sister Carmine, who is busily removing starfish and such from her powered armor.

    You remember wondering why the squid attacked in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:55 No.9328915
         File1271832927.png-(21 KB, 356x301, OH GOD YESSSSSSSSSSS.png)
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    "Good morning. Need something?"
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)02:55 No.9328919
    Also on that topic, the more sex we have the better we get at it with Goshujin-Sama's secret sex skill.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:55 No.9328922
    Not like that squid has managed to deal with his hangover yet anyways. So, jet skis? Or we going to go about setting up some form of luau?
    Must remember to scratch Felicia behind the ears or whatever the cat people recommend in recognition of her attempt to teach us earlier. It's starting to pay off (well, more than it already did, of course).
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:56 No.9328930

    roger that.


    can we get some oral practice of our own in? no? how about now?

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:57 No.9328943
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:57 No.9328948
    You would think the other neckbeards would understand the importants of grinding up stats.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:57 No.9328950
    Unlimber Reginald's gorgeous 10 gauge over-and-under, and have at some tra-

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:58 No.9328954
    "Fair enough. Here's hoping that Koyomi hasn't managed to burn the mansion down.

    Did everyone enjoy themselves?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)02:59 No.9328965
    3:00 AM and my last difficult exam tomorrow.

    I leave maid quest in your collective, horribly untrustworthy hands.

    May fapping, fucking, and awesomeness commence.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:00 No.9328973
    "It was. . . exhilarating," Reginald admits. "It reminded me a bit of taking a trip with your uncle. Although, I must say, Jehanne seems particularly pleasant this morning."

    Looking over at your paladin, you find her sitting off the back of the boat, chatting amicably with Samantha. Every once in a while, they'll giggle or laugh, and look over at you.

    You feel a sudden sense of foreboding.

    As the ship pulls into port, you are met at the docks by Koyomi, your science maid.

    "Good morning, sir," she says. "We've finished our analysis of the object."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:01 No.9328984
    I'll probably end fairly soon too. Good luck on your exam.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:01 No.9328985
    "That's fantastic! Can I have sex with it?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:02 No.9328996

    >moar like a sudden sense of AWESOME, AMIRITE??

    "Excellent! i'm all ears..."
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)03:02 No.9328998
    Commence with the report.

    Also, perhaps next time there won't be so very much research to be done, and you'll be able to come out on an excursion with the rest of us.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:03 No.9328999
    "Ohayou gozaimasu, Koyomi-san. What did you find?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:03 No.9329002
    Wonderous. and whats it do?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:03 No.9329010
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:03 No.9329012
    Against my better judgement, this. We're high on life, etc.
    Though after she rolls her eyes and tells us what it does, listen carefully. Unless she says we can, then also listen carefully.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:04 No.9329017
    Koyomi blinks, then eh heh hehs nervously. . . "I ummm. . . don't recommend it, sir. You see, we were able to finish our analysis of its purpose as well," she says, as the two of you walk down the docks and up towards the house.

    "And? What have you found?"

    "Well, at first, we thought that it was a Reticulan Infiltration Unit," Koyomi says. "A device intended to collect human DNA, and then create an artificial life form to mimic and infiltrate our society. We were wrong."

    "Then what is it?"

    Koyomi takes a deep breath. "It's an Extermination Unit," she says. "A Combat Android."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:04 No.9329023
    >long SIGH. Remember kids. fuck over the DM by pointing out obvious block and get fucked in a different way...
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:05 No.9329029
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)03:05 No.9329031
    Soooo... no sex? Maybe you can make it into a sex-bot?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:06 No.9329041
    "Ah. So it's got gears in it. Good call on the no-sex thing."
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)03:06 No.9329048
    Oh god.

    I trust you've taken the necessary precautions with it so as to make sure it's not going to boot up and start cutting people in half outside the mansion, correct?

    Any idea what should be done to re-purpose it, or failing that, dispose of it after gleaning what we can from it?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:07 No.9329055

    Sooo... a slightly more organic Terminator?

    (Qualification: Not the Spess Mehreen kind.)

    She's a gamer. She'll laugh.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:07 No.9329056

    "bummer. can we, er-- blow it up? or throw it into the ocean or something?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:07 No.9329059
    ... And to think we subjected Samantha to that.

    I feel horrible now.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:07 No.9329060
    So... why did it need ass-readings then?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:07 No.9329066
    So then the collecting of female samples was for... recreation?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:10 No.9329096
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    ". . . so it's a Terminator? Not the Space Marine kind, but the Ahnold kind?"

    ". . . kind of," Koyomi says, glossing over your 40k reference. "It's ummm. . . it's closer to the one from that lousy third movie, the one played by that one blonde girl. Instead of just being a humanoid model, it has integrated weapon systems as well."

    "What kind of weapons?" you ask.

    ". . . a wide variety. Stabbing blades, laser and plasma energy weapons, kinetic kill penetrators, bioweapons. . ."

    "Wow. . . I trust we're taking all necessary precautions."

    "Sir," Koyomi says, nervously. "That's ummm. . . that's the problem."

    "How so?"

    "Well," Koyomi sighs. "The good news is, it's in a very safe place. The bad news is, that place isn't here. They took it to Black Mesa."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:10 No.9329097
    ... I agree, I should have sex with it. And neither should anyone else. I'd throw it into the sea, but then we'd get some odd squid person thing that is very very confused about what it is supposed to do.

    Hmmm. Don't suppose that you've started getting ideas on how to reprogram it? Or at least get rid of the homicidal urges? Or anything else odd about the data collected I guess.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)03:10 No.9329109

    We need to make sure it didn't implant anything in Samantha.

    Seriously, we can't have her exploding, Alien-style, and having EXTERMINATION ROBOTS coming out.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:11 No.9329114
    WHOA. WE GAVE IT TO BLACK MESA?! is she fucking RETARDED?!

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:11 No.9329122

    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:11 No.9329124
    Koyomi clarifies this for you: it needed the samples to form the unit, but its purpose isn't infiltration, but extermination. Instead of observing us, it was intended to kill us, but the basic frame was the same for both: just like a car and a humvee use similar construction methods, but have very different purposes.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329126
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329128

    "Koyomi, could you tell me why you allowed them to take it to Black Mesa...?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329131

    So, our otherwise fucking Chaotic Evil switcheroo backstab was actually the right thing to do in the end?

    Well, fuck me.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329133
    Read that as 'should NOT have sex with' of course.
    Also, oh joy, head crabs. Freeman knows about this, right?
    Find out more about what exactly happened. They didn't just walk off with it with no explanation or attempt to placate us (or our science girl at least).
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329136
    >took it to Black Mesa

    Good. When it goes apeshit, someone else can deal with it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329142

    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:12 No.9329143
    clarify why we gave it to black mesa again?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:13 No.9329148

    "I tried to stop them!" Koyomi wails, "but I'm just a grad student! They overrode me and took it away! It was everything I could do to make sure that they didn't just burn the entire house down while you were gone to cover up all the evidence!"
    >> Bag guy. 04/21/10(Wed)03:13 No.9329153

    "You must be joking. Do you know of any weaknesses this thing has? I get the feeling we'll have to deal with this sooner or later."

    Then get to work on learning how to convert killbots to our side through chaotic neutral dickings.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:13 No.9329156



    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:14 No.9329166
    It's about time Koyomi started pulling her weight around here. Assign her to transform our pleasure yacht into a combat airship so that we may assault Black Mesa
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)03:14 No.9329167
    Well, you did good in not letting THAT happen... and I suppose it's better that it's in a well-guarded scientific complex rather than our tool-shed...
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:14 No.9329170
    WHELP. Call Reginald. Call Gordon Freeman. and Call Chell. Get Suited. Get Armed, with a crowbar as a main weapon. 50 cal and rpg's and crap as back ups.
    Time to go to Black Mesa to fuck some bitches up
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)03:15 No.9329174
    >The bad news is, that place isn't here. They took it to Black Mesa.

    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)03:15 No.9329186
    Assign Koyomi to producing either A: Personal Ion Cannons (see Renegade)
    B: Personal Railgun Rifles.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:16 No.9329196
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    I think we have a decision.

    I will call it a night for now, but when this continues (either tomorrow or Friday). . .

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:16 No.9329201
    ... you know, we could probably convince the giant homicidal squid that Black Mesa were the ones to kidnap the calamari. Distraction. You know, when we head over there to take back our strange alien artifact (or at least get something out of it if Black Mesa is much nicer than we expect). Possibly while the device is actively being worked on.
    We must begin planning. While going through the mansion for whatever supplies we may need. (and figure out wherever Black Mesa took the thing)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:16 No.9329204

    Hug her Gently.

    "It's okay, I understand. You did all you could. We still have the house, which means we can still do somehtign about this. You did just fine, Koyomi."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:17 No.9329218
    ...why are we going to Black Mesa? I'd rather the Alien Killmachine off a bunch of redshirt labcoats than any of our maids.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:18 No.9329224
    I'm okay with this.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:18 No.9329226
    Actually, yeah, we should make sure that Koyomi didn't notice any particular weaknesses. Or that she didn't manage to unstabilize something, etc. Just in case.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:18 No.9329230
    Well, did we at least get any useful technology out of the damned thing?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:19 No.9329233

    so wait, tell me again why that's the bad news?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:19 No.9329240

    Agreed. If want to keep tenderly loving our little gamer nerdette, we need to make sure she thinks we don't hate her for losing it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:20 No.9329252
    Someone archive this!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:21 No.9329263

    Our Killamchine. With our sexy maid's DNA. We're a borderline insane rich bastard. Storming research facilities to get our deadly alien ill-gotten gains back is just a normal day after breakfast.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:21 No.9329264
    It's not bad that she stopped them from doing that

    is a good immediate response

    But afterwards, immediate plans on how to take it back/destroy it/get it out of the hands of the people who would burn our mansion down.
    Actually, would it even stay burned down? Repair bots and all... But no, our morning glories would suffer.
    >> Bag guy. 04/21/10(Wed)03:22 No.9329273

    Consensus. It's not her fault a shady government lab confiscated the alien deathbot.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:24 No.9329299

    "It's okay," you say. "You did all right. . . good job. You saved the house, which means we still have a chance."

    "A chance?"

    "Something that dangerous is too dangerous to let those goons keep it," you say. "We're getting it back. Reginald!"

    "Sir?" Reginald nods.

    "Stock up the guns. We're going to Black Mesa."

    Here you put on a pair of sunglasses.

    "We're gonna get back what's ours."

    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)03:24 No.9329304
    ...because shit's 'bout to get real.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)03:25 No.9329306
    And that's it for me. Someone archive this thread. I'm going to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:25 No.9329308
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:27 No.9329329

    For certain values of "Ours", at least.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)03:40 No.9329462
    They were perfectly aware that the rest of us existed. We haven't really thought about the vast remaining forces of Reticulans though, so it's a bit different. You know, the ones who've decided to screw infiltration and just about sent out a (female?) murder bot.
    We might want to find out if there's some form of MiB in next thread.

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