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  • File : 1271821371.jpg-(274 KB, 1143x1600, Recovered_JPEG Digital Camera_1249.jpg)
    274 KB MAID QUEST PART XIX: HELLO, BEASTIE! Goshujin-Sama 04/20/10(Tue)23:42 No.9325614  

    Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/
    Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050315/
    Part 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9052773/
    Part 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9054492/
    Part 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9055966/
    Part 6: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9070998/
    Part 7: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9073610/
    Part 8: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9075194/
    Part 9: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9077019/
    Part 10: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9078487/
    Part 11: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9093599/
    Part 12: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9096268/
    Part 13: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9097972/
    Part 14: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9099543/
    Part 15: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9198867/
    Part 16: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9201289/
    Part 17: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9283104/
    Part 18: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9285850/

    If you're pathetic enough to follow this fucking shit on twitter, it's at http://twitter.com/maidquesttg
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/20/10(Tue)23:43 No.9325628
    You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

    1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
    2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.
    3. Have sex with at least three of them. (1.5/3)

    At least, that's the basic idea. Things have gotten confused since then.

    Alien Repair Bots
    Mysterious Alien Sphere (0% analysed)
    Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery

    Magician (Magic Missile, Shield, Ritual Magic)

    Mansion Status:
    Facilities: Beachfront property, Huge Yacht ("Kat")
    Kitchen: Average (3 of 5)
    Decor: Good (4 of 5)
    Gardens: Average (3 of 5)
    Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
    Beach: Good (4 of 5)

    On the BOAT
    Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)
    Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE
    Kristopher, formerly Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Distant)
    Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED
    Jehanne, the paladin of Bahamut (Trust) - LOVE
    Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust, now in possession of Katherine's Love (Warm)

    Not on the BOAT
    Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Neutral)

    25 XP

    It is Noon of Day 9 of 30. You're on your awesome motor yacht, motherfuckers, and a giant squid is attacking!

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anomymous. 04/20/10(Tue)23:44 No.9325636
    >Glare and growl back "And so did your man, so we are at an impasse. Leave us."
    From last thread.
    >> Jabberwock 04/20/10(Tue)23:44 No.9325637
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/20/10(Tue)23:46 No.9325659

    "You know," you say. "You really should show me sometime how to. . ."

    . . .

    Suddenly, there is a CRASH, and the entire boat rocks to one side! "What the fuck. . . !?"

    "YOUNG MASTER!" Reginald roars from the back of the boat. "WE HAVE A SPOT OF BOTHER HERE!"

    As you poke your head back out the window, you see Reginald being lifted into the air. He is punching a massive, suckered tentacle that is wrapped around his waist. Wrapped up in two other tentacles are Felicia and Jehanne, who are screaming in terror at the monster that is groping them. . .

    . . . at least, they scream until the massive monster's huge, dinner-plate sized eye sees your face in the ship's window. With a roar, it hurls the girls and Reginald into the ocean, and points a massive tentacle at you.

    "YOU!!!!!!!!!" it roars, in passably good English. "YOU KILLED THE ONLY MAN I EVER LOVED!!!!"

    ""And so did your man," you growl, "so we are at an impasse. Leave us."

    "NO!" roars the giant squid. "BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR BLOOOOOOOD!"
    >> Jabberwock 04/20/10(Tue)23:47 No.9325679

    Feed it tuna and become best fucking friends.
    >> Anomymous. 04/20/10(Tue)23:47 No.9325680
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    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:49 No.9325712
    We should probably get someone to try to help those that were chucked into the ocean. At the least, Reginald could provide fire support.

    Also, is this squid bigger than the one from last time or about the same size?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/20/10(Tue)23:50 No.9325723

    "Wait!" you say. "I have tuna! We can work this out!"

    The squid fixes you with a huge, baleful eye, glowering at you angrily. "BRING ME YOUR OFFERINGS, MORTALS, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"

    It's bigger. At least, it seems bigger. Maybe it's just that you can see this one in good light.
    >> Jabberwock 04/20/10(Tue)23:51 No.9325731

    Give the fucking immortal squid some fucking tuna. We can have Reginald fish more up later.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:51 No.9325735
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    >quest thread
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:52 No.9325750

    I doubt a grand total of two tunas is enough to appease heartbroken angry giant squid.

    Set Carmine loose on her.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:53 No.9325765

    Offer him the Tuna!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/20/10(Tue)23:53 No.9325768

    You pick up one of the bluefin tuna from the pantry and bring it over to the giant squid. As you walk over, you can see Reginald gathering up the other two girls from the ocean and carrying them back onto the ship: yes, carrying. He has Felicia's collar in his teeth and one beefy arm around Jehanne's waist, and he's swimming back onto the ship's fishing deck.

    A giant tentacle reaches down and grabs the tuna fish from you, the scent of salt water redolent in the air. It grabs it and crunches down, with a huge horny beak about the size of your head. "THIS OFFERING PLEASES ME!" roars the squid, "BUT IT IS NOT SUFFICIENT! I REQUIRE MORE SACRIFICE!"
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:54 No.9325773
    Give it the tuna. With something poisonous in it. We're cunning enough for that I'm sure... Maybe... I don't remember our stats.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/20/10(Tue)23:55 No.9325794
    ask politely for a few moments more time to look for a sufficient offering since it didnt please it
    >> Jabberwock 04/20/10(Tue)23:55 No.9325795

    Offer the damn thing some beer while we fish more up, lest we get fucking shipwrecked or eaten by the damn thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:56 No.9325800

    Offer to order some cod for him.

    Not the small fry, but the big 8 foot ones.

    Also, if at all possible, find more information about him. Possibly why he's here.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:57 No.9325821
    Offer poisoned tuna. Stuffed full of explosives.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:57 No.9325822
    Curses. For future reference, we need to ask Koyomi to get us trained dolphins to fight giant squids at sea. It worked for the Allies in Command and Conquer Red Alert 2, I'm sure it'd work for us.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)23:58 No.9325829
    Alright, maid quest.

    And ask what else it would want.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:00 No.9325852

    "Oh, great one," you say, timidly, "We are short on fish. Perhaps you would enjoy a brewski while we fish up some more for you?"


    You nudge Samantha in the ribs. She runs back into the house and gets ready to start rolling out the keg of Pyramid you brought onto the boat with you. "Oh, great one," you ask, "Why are you here?"

    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:00 No.9325859
    Also: When Reginald gets on Board. have him dual wield his Barret Light Fifties, or get a minigun or something...or an RPG or JAVELIN. and have him light this bitch up while we stall
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:01 No.9325882
    How about we don't attack the huge sea monster in her native territory where she has a huge advantage and could easily drown us? I like that idea, I like it a lot.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:01 No.9325887
    Did we basically waltz the boat out after finding it or did we spruce it up in any way? If we did some changes, in theory we could try bluffing our way out of this.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:02 No.9325893
    Alrighty... Toss the keg over at the giant squid. OH

    Goshujin.... I shoot it with the death ray gun.
    >> Jabberwock 04/21/10(Wed)00:02 No.9325896

    Didn't the giant squid try raping one of our maids?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:02 No.9325898
    Um, well then. Time to act completely innocent. At least until we can come up with some giant honking spearguns. Maybe we better fine carmine too, before she calls it a cockburgler and punches it for fun
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:03 No.9325905
    Tell squid that killer was last seen headed for the Philippines.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:03 No.9325917
    All right, quick question. . . go violent, or are you gonna try for cunning? Those seem to be the two choices people are suggesting.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:05 No.9325936

    Cunning, and set up for possible violence in case cunning doesn't work.
    >> Jabberwock 04/21/10(Wed)00:05 No.9325937
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    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:05 No.9325939
    we have 2 death-ray guns. I suggest using them.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:05 No.9325943

    Query: What are our military resources on this ship? Do we have a hidden BOFORS on board? AT missiles? Twin .50s?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:05 No.9325944
    cunning as a main plan,violence as back up
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:06 No.9325952
    We have no clue if they'll always work or if they're aces in the hole. If we can get by this without using up resources, all the better. I say cunning and then blasting if that fails.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:07 No.9325974
    You've got a portion of Reginald's arsenal on board. You're not sure how much if it he brought, but he's certainly got, at least, some heavy rifles, pistols, shotguns, and possibly some automatics.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:07 No.9325982
    Aka we have enough weapons and firepower to arm a small militia with 50 cals and anti armor weapons. its Reginald.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:07 No.9325983
    Cunning while getting some sort of plan for violence in place. If we can at least prepare we will be in a better postion.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:08 No.9325994

    Insufficient. For a creature of shit size we need either HOT BLOOD or a large quantity of man-portable ordnance. I vote Cunning.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:08 No.9326001
    All right, then. . . what's your basic plan? Keep him talking while the rest of your guys get set up?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:09 No.9326006
    Cunning while Reginald gets shit and we get ready to roll out the DPS
    >> Jabberwock 04/21/10(Wed)00:09 No.9326023

    Get the thing drunk as possible. Then attempt to con it, and if all else fails, blow the fuck out of it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:10 No.9326033
    Well it's obviously unsure about if this is the ship responsible or not though it suspects us. We could try bluffing it's not us. During that time, Reginald and whoever else wants can prepare for potential violence.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:11 No.9326035
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:11 No.9326036

    Talk, share beer, offer suggestions as to where killer may be, what have you.

    Meanwhile, have Reginald prepare the biggest dakka he can manage, and hold Carmine back till the signal is given.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:11 No.9326041
    Get it drunk and try to talk it down. Have Reginald work up an asskicking plan for back up
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:12 No.9326045
    "I'm afraid that I don't know what you're talking about," you say to the squid, glancing over your shoulder as Samantha rolls out the keg. "I have no idea what you're talking about. . ."


    > Cunning result: 6 vs 9. Strike 1

    The squid's powerful tentacles wrap tighter around your yacht, but then he sees Samantha rolling the keg towards him and gets distracted. It picks up the keg of beer in a single powerful tentacle, cracks it open like a can, and chugs it down.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:13 No.9326063
    guess we're not getting the deposit back
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:13 No.9326064
    MORE ALCOHOL. send it more alcohol. Reginald! Prep Plan B (aka welcome to dicktown)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:13 No.9326067
    Well, please tell me the story of how your mate was "trapped" by this yacht.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:14 No.9326074

    "This yacht? We bought it cheap from this one dude, said he was headed for Brunei. Kept offering us calamari for some reason."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:14 No.9326079
    Fuck it, lets just explain to the squid that we attempted to set his lover free but it attacked us in the process.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:14 No.9326082
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:14 No.9326087
    This sounds good
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:15 No.9326094
    I do like this one... I agree!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:16 No.9326116
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:17 No.9326125

    You gesture to Samantha to bring more beer, and you take a step towards the squid, clearing your throat. "I'm afraid, I have no idea what you're talking about," you lie. "I picked up this boat from some guy who was heading to Brunei. He kept offering us calamari for some reason. . ."

    > Cunning: 18 vs 6


    It glowers at you. . . then gets distracted as Samantha brings the keg of Heinekin up onto the deck. She rolls it towards the squid, who once again downs it in one go.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:18 No.9326136
    Someone give me a 1d6 roll. 5+ saving throw vs. Carmine losing her shit :3
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326155
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326156
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326157
    rolled 1 = 1

    Here ya go
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326158
    I have no reason to lie to you, I can only apologize for your loss and wish you a good life. Care to join us in drinking? Being depressed and drunk while alone is never good...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326164
    Thank god you beat me.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:19 No.9326167
    Thank god
    No more rolling from you
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:20 No.9326172
    No. Make the statement more vague. Take out the first part, because in theory there's no lie at that point.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:21 No.9326189
    We really need to set up Carmine with a remote controlled morphine drip or something, so we can at least try to keep her out of these situations
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:22 No.9326203
    . . . you had a 2 in three chance of Carmine losing her shit and ruining it all, and you saved. Fuck you.

    All right, what do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:22 No.9326210
    Give the squid thing more booze and keep bullshitting like a used car salesman
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:22 No.9326213
    >> Jabberwock 04/21/10(Wed)00:22 No.9326214
    Wait. This things been waiting years for revenge? Didn't we just kill the thing like... a day ago?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:23 No.9326222
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:23 No.9326234
    I agree with this, could help when we need her mellowed out.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:24 No.9326239
    Presumably it's been years since it was imprisoned. although I do wonder how uncle used his boat with letting the squid out of the cave
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:24 No.9326246

    Its love has been imprisoned for years, apparently. It just found its body recently.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:25 No.9326254
    if you read im pretty sure it said that they stopped using the boat cause the squid, then caved it in.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:26 No.9326270
    I'm starting to wonder if dead squid got itself imprisoned on purpose to avoid angry squid...

    Offer angry squid condolences and more beer.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:27 No.9326275
    Samantha brings out a third keg of beer. . .

    > Affection vs Cunning: 18 vs 9

    . . . long story short, within a few minutes, you've got your arm around a giant squid, and you're sitting there watching the sun set over the ocean, singing, "Anacraeon in Heaven" loudly, like a pair of bros.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:27 No.9326294
    More beer is good and keep assuring the beast it's not us and that we express our apologies. Then more beer to drown its sorrows. Carmine didn't go berserk yet so we can still get through this peacefully. We just need to do that soon.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:27 No.9326295
    awesome. Wish it a long and healthy life, and perhaps you two can hang out again sometime, then carry on vacation?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:27 No.9326296
    Ask exactly how its love got trapped.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:27 No.9326300

    Please god no squidmaid.

    Also, I forgot this the first time.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:29 No.9326321
    Whew. We could have chosen a drinking song that's easier to sing though. Still any victory you can stagger away from and vomit, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:29 No.9326331
    Squidmaid. That's a wonderful idea. We must do this
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:30 No.9326339
    I believe we're all capped out in terms of maids.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:31 No.9326364
    Get Alicia up in this bitch with a polymorph.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:32 No.9326372

    Long story short, you convince the squid that you're not the one who killed its mate. Lord knows how long that deception will last.

    The last you see of it, it is swimming drunkenly off into the sunset, waving a tentacle at you.

    "Well," you say. "That ended well."

    "Not really," Samantha points out. "He ate all the tuna, and drank all the beer. And we're not getting the deposit on those kegs back."

    "Any victory you can stagger drunkenly away from," you grin.

    You hear an ahem from behind you, and see Reginald walking out onto the deck, wearing a pair of bright hula-print swim trunks and a pair of sunglasses. "Well done, young master," he says, "very clever of you. Very clever. Your uncle would be proud."

    You're not sure how to take that.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:32 No.9326373
    >last several threads saw us meet every impossibly powerful enemy with violence

    >long story short, within a few minutes, you've got your arm around a giant squid, and you're sitting there watching the sun set over the ocean, singing, "Anacraeon in Heaven" loudly, like a pair of bros.


    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:32 No.9326375

    First we need our trap back.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:33 No.9326398
    Honestly Reginald. I'd prefer to have you proud than my Deceptive and Scheming Uncle.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:34 No.9326405
    look, the trap thing is done. We fucked up badly with that, and the story has changed as a result of our actions. We should make the best of the situation rather then run around with our heads cut off trying to reverse what we caused.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:34 No.9326410
    It is now night of Day 9 of 30.

    WHAT DO?

    Among other things, you have a Magician outfit to assign. Metagame: you can assign it to yourself, and you'll gain magic powers later on. Or you can assign it to one of your maids (except Alicia, Jehanne, Felicia, or Koyomi) and they will get magic powers instead.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:34 No.9326411
    True enough, we fucked up pretty badly there. The squid should come first though, if we get Kat's love back to her, Alicia aint gonna do shit for us again.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326421
    I think we've all had enough run-ins with tentacles over the past few days Reginald
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326433
    Magic suit should go to us. It will either be of great use, or help us fuck up greater than ever before. And let's follow up on our earlier conversation with Jehanne
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326435

    Goshujin said it was possible to get her back. And we will. She deserves it.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326438

    answer me this first- that bit about the maid "studying the dark arts" won't corrupt anybody, will it?

    Because Jehanne doesn't need any more corrupting and Samantha is just too cute to corrupt :<
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326440
    assign to self! WE NEED MAGIC... we have to fight fucking reginald... Bull's Strength kthx
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:35 No.9326443
    Will it still look like a maid's outfit or does it magic itself into a robe and wizard hat?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:36 No.9326445
    Well now that we have free time it seems, it may be time to consider our long-term goals. As far as I can see, that's beat Reginald and beat Alicia at her current plan to screw us hard. I assume for Reginald, that's just going to be us learning new skills and increasing our stats.

    Alicia is a bigger problem in some ways. To conquer her, we're definitely going to need to get her to at least the love level. We're also likely going to need to improve relations with Felicia, since I believe she does have mixed loyalties if I remember the thread from hell well enough. We don't want her stabbing us in the back by helping Alicia and she may even be able to warn us about Alicia related things. I'm unsure if we're going to need to work on Kris or not though in his current state. Any other thoughts on these matters guys?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:36 No.9326448
    Lets acquire some magic for ourselves. We are always garaunteed to do what we want afterall, so the magic won't suddenly be turned against us or something.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:36 No.9326450
    Honestly, I'm happy with Alicia instead of Kat.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:36 No.9326460
    It's not a maid outfit, it's a Magician's outfit. It will become something appropriate. For you, a robe and wizard hat. For your maids, a short skirt and a phallic looking magic rod.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:36 No.9326461

    Well, if we give the outfit to Kat, she can just change herself, and we wouldn't have to rely on Alicia. We'd have to ger her love back first though.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:37 No.9326465
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    If the suit ends up on us, it must be a TOTALLY SNAZZY BITCHING suit.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:37 No.9326470
    so that means we can assign it to samantha, kris, or ...carmine?! That would definitely be a recipe for disaster. Although it would make her even more heretical that she already is
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:38 No.9326480
    Let's get that thing for ourselves. You all know we've been waiting ages to pull the rob and wizard hat joke.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:38 No.9326487
    What is Alicia's diabolical plan anyway? She seems completely screwed over right now, and despite her ability to transfer love it's really up to us not to fuck up so she can weasel into using it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:38 No.9326488
    Why can't we have the short skirt and phallic rod?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:38 No.9326490

    >For you, a robe and wizard hat.

    ... you're not really giving us an option here, you realize that, right?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:39 No.9326499
    You could if you wanted. . .
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:39 No.9326501
    I guess putting it on ourselves would solve our problems as well as anything. Let's go for it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:39 No.9326511
    I vote for skirt and phallic rod
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:39 No.9326516
    we wear the outfit!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:39 No.9326517

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:40 No.9326524

    Lets MANLY it up.

    KILT and phallic rod.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:40 No.9326535

    Seconded too. We may be skilled with a gun, but there is often a time where we have no guns nearby...

    Or, at least none any bigger than our .22 Ass Blaster.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:40 No.9326542
    yes, we shall commandeer the suit. why? Because you fucking know the GM is going to weave gold out of an opening like that.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:40 No.9326545
    She's a demon. One always assumes she's up to something. Even if we're wrong, it won't hurt us since a lot of what was suggested fulfills our goals anyways. It's just things we'll likely need to counter anything she might have up her sleeve. We didn't do any BS checks when she started acting all lovey towards us so that could all be an act as far as we know.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:41 No.9326551
    Seems to be where it's going. I'll handle that when the time comes.

    In any case, we rejoin our hero after dinner. It is now night of Day 9 of thirty. Although not quite what you would have liked, the tuna steaks and pasta you had for dinner is delicious.

    You now have a choice of a few different actions.

    1. Speak to one of your maids.
    2. Go to bed.
    3. I dunno, think of something else to do. I've had a couple beers.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:41 No.9326552
    No skirt, but the phallic rod opens up some interesting options in the bedroom.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:41 No.9326558





    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:41 No.9326562
    I put on my robe and wizard hat...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:41 No.9326564
    Could we trade the magic outfit for Carmine's power armor? We'll get power armor, and she'll become ANGRY MAGE!
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326568
    Talk to Alicia about occurances today
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326571
    Please, dear lord, no. Robe and wizards hat. MAYBE a robe and staff, call it our "Rod of Wonder" or something, but lets not be gay when we gotta sex up the maids.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326572
    Listen, getting Samantha assraped by aliens is one thing.

    Throwing Katherine to a giant squid to be raped and drowned was one thing.

    But becoming a fucking broken-as-hell caster? EDISHUN WAAAAARZ
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326575
    Talk to Alicia maybe have a couple beers if she's not opposed to the idea.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326577
    Sadly, the power armor isn't fitted to you, and you don't seem to have any techmarines around who could. . .

    Oh shit. O.O
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326579
    Follow up with Jehanne about our earlier conversation
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:42 No.9326585
    So... a kilt and a shillelagh? An Oirish wizard?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326589
    So, our XP went down since last thread so I assume we upgraded, and I didn't get to see, what are our current stats right now?

    Beyond that, I think we should see if reginald could give us that late night training session, as that earlier one got blown due to shot nerves? Good way to cool off, I figure.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326593
    Talk to the Female Paladin more. We needed to reach a priest for her, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326594

    I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I want to go see Kris to see just how demonbitches magic affected him, but on the other, Jehanne needs some attention.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326595

    >Speak to one of your maids

    Let's see what's up with... with... KAT, THAT DUDE OR CHICK OR WHATEVER. KAT.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326598
    No magic. Only deft cunning, brute strength, ridiculous luck, and brain-mashing alcohol.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326604
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:43 No.9326605
    Well damn. I was against this,but now it must be done. And as long as carmine the angry mage doesn't fuck over the world the power armor should help our duel with reginald
    >> Jabberwock 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326609

    Trade for power armor, have science maid modify the fuck out of it. DO IT NOW.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326617
    Athletics: 3
    Affection: 2
    Skill: 3
    Cunning: 2
    Luck: 2
    Will: 2

    You need Skill 3 to use the Magician costume, so I moved it from cunning based on the last thread's request.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326621
    Speak to Jehanne. She loves us, and we need to help her sort her issues out
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326622

    This is an intriguing idea. Like Merlin, get a staff up in that bitch.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326623
    In theory, we need to find out more about the current Kris. We could tell he was hiding something when we were talking to him in the morning but we don't know what. Does he have any memory of his deal with Alicia or is it something else?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326628
    Yes, but with more barbarian flair, for (I assume) self-infusing magic leading to a very forceful personality, etc.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:44 No.9326634
    Yeah, gonna have to vote for robe and hat, maybe somthing like a sacrifical dagger or staff for use in melee. None of this skirt bullshit.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:45 No.9326636
    DM Spoiler: Not enough relationship to convince an ANGRY space Marine out of her Power Armor. nice try Goshu
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:45 No.9326637

    Just cast bulls strength and have it done with, lalala
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:45 No.9326649
    ... This sounds like a good plan...
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:45 No.9326660
    If we do anything with Reginald, we should start having heart to heart talks with the man. Preferably while taking combat training. We will eventually become his Son-in-law anyway, so we need to connect on -some- level.

    Maybe we should talk about our messing up with Kathrine - making sure to express our regret and sorrow. Either that or turning into a drunken lush again.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:45 No.9326662
    Aww, but with Kat being Kris now someone has to be the household trap
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326664
    We can fix that.. I'm sure...
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326665
    Fuck you for ruining my fun >:)

    Anyway, seems the two major votes are for Alicia or Kristopher?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326677
    Eh, I count the most votes as being for Jehanne
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326679

    kris. see extent of mindfuckery.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326681
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:46 No.9326682
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:47 No.9326686

    Also: Your welcome Goshu. can i has xp for derailing DM by being a DM and seeing it coming?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:47 No.9326689
    Alicia. It's useless talking to Kris right now. Besides, maybe any relationship gains will carry over when we get her love back.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:47 No.9326694
    Huh. Imagine that.

    Okay, Alicia, Kristopher, or Jehanne?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326702
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326706
    Not totally useless. Kris was hiding SOMETHING when we were talking to him earlier. It might be nothing but it also might be important. If he's a guy and thinks he's always been normal, what would he have to hide from us?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326707
    Head toward Jehanne and see if we can't get Bahamut on the phone. Still think that would work somehow.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326708
    i'm still voting for sorting out Jehanne's god thingy
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326711
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326718
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:48 No.9326721
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:49 No.9326731
    Can we compromise and do both Alicia and Jehanne?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:49 No.9326733
    ...Vote change, Jehanne
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:50 No.9326737
    rolled 1 = 1


    Rolling 1d3 to fucking settle this.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:50 No.9326739
    That works too
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:50 No.9326746
    Talking to Alicia again now that we have had a chance to think is a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:50 No.9326751
    Jehanne or Alicia. I don't see talking to Kris being immediately helpful.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:51 No.9326767

    If we can get three girls to love us, this'll turn out to be very interesting.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:52 No.9326771
    In sympathy for our good GM, I've aqquired some peppermint schnapps.

    mmmmm, schnapps.

    ... seems like it's working already.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:52 No.9326778
    We'll compromise. . . Alicia and Jehanne, one then the other.


    After dinner, you come down to the guest rooms and knock on the door of the room reserved for Alicia. "What is it?" you hear a muffled voice ask.

    "It's me," you say.

    "Come in."

    You come into the room and find Alicia laying on the bed. She looks a bit green, and from the pallor of her face, she's apparently been a bit seasick. Someone, probably Samantha, left her a tray of soda crackers and some water on her desk.

    She glowers at you as you walk into the room, from where she lays on the bed with the covers tucked up to her chin. "What the hell do you want now?" she growls, then urps a bit and swallows, hard, fighting down the nausea as the ship rocks a bit more violently.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:52 No.9326786

    ... am I correct in assuming that none of your actual friend's twitters are set to send mobile updates?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:53 No.9326796

    How can we fix Kat?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:54 No.9326812
    "Do you want me to get you a bowl?

    ...And I've been thinking about what you said last night."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:54 No.9326814
    rolled 1 = 1

    hmm, take pity on the poor seasick evil soul sucking demon, or laugh at her misery.
    Eh even pity, odd evil mocking
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:54 No.9326818
    Ask her if you can do anything to make her feel any better
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:54 No.9326821

    "Just wanted to impart an old anti-nausea trick I know. Video games. Staring at a screen seems to take ones mind and attention off the nausea, for some reason."

    Loan her laptop + joystick + Freespace, which any self-respecting nerd has with them at all times.

    (This actually works, I don't know why.)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:54 No.9326822
    "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself much. Can we help?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:55 No.9326831
    We should avoid the Kat subject for the moment and start this politely.

    Ask her how she is feeling at the moment, and if there is anything that we can get her at the moment that could help... Within reason.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:55 No.9326836
    Time to be affectionate and go find her some seasickness cures. There should be some pills somewhere on the boat.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:55 No.9326840
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    I think we might be able to teach the demon what she's been screwing with this whole time.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:55 No.9326844
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    .... uh.... fuck you! They totally are.

    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:56 No.9326854
    Good lord. So we'll offer sympathy and help to the demon that killed us and wanted our soul, but we'll throw a person that loves us to a giant squid. Man we're fucked up
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:56 No.9326858
    On one hand this is stupid. On the other haFUCKYEARFREESPACE
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:56 No.9326866
    Agreed. also include a laptop with World of Warcraft
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)00:56 No.9326868
    Outvoted, sadly. Most of the players seem to want to be nice to her.

    "Need me to get you a bowl or something?" you ask, sitting next to Alicia and putting your hand on her forehead.

    She pulls away as if it were a hot poker jabbing her skin. "I'm fine," she snarls. "Get away from me."

    "You don't look fine. Look, I'll bring you a video game. If you stare at a screen, maybe it will help you to. . ."

    "Just go away, please?" Alicia pouts. She pulls the sheets up to her nose now. "Quit making fun of me. I know it's totally against the image of a Demon Queen to be seasick. Don't mock me."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:56 No.9326869
    Lets ask for some backstory on Felicia - how did she become her familiar?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:57 No.9326872
    My vote is to be mean. Bitch did try to fucking kill us, after all, and she got her adorable catgirl fragged before deigning to take the risk herself.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:57 No.9326876
    "Could have told me you didn't have sea legs."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)00:58 No.9326894
    TRUTH: We're not mocking you. We actually Care. you're one of the family now.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:58 No.9326898
    "I'm not making fun of you. You're not some demon queen anymore, you're something much better - you're more human now."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:58 No.9326900
    look, she's going to be suspicious of our kindness. Rather then becoming super affectionate, we should be snarky and treat her as more of a friendly enemy then someone we need to dote on. She was a queen for gods sak, we just appear patonizing by being kind all the time. Pull th niceness out in moments of actual emotion.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:59 No.9326908
    "If I was mocking you, I'd be alot less subtle about it. 'Oh miss demon queen, you're looking quite green. Are you going to turn into a wart-covered hag?' That's mockery. What I'm trying to do is to honestly be nice to you. So, do you want my help, honestly, or not?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:59 No.9326915

    >Don't mock me

    "Oooh goody, straight insults are more my forte anyway! How is it that a chronic weak-armed wanking nerd was able to pwn the shit out of a Queen of Hell? Where'd you get that title, in an e-mail from a Nigerian Prince, or a solicitation letter from Infernal Veterans of the Fourth Circle? Did it come with a tasteful sheet of return-address labels?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)00:59 No.9326916
    "Jeez, we're not making fun of you. For the demon queen of lust, you really don't have a clue what you got yourself into, do you?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:00 No.9326928
    Man, you people let your emotions get in the way of the long term. By being mean to her, we're just going to keep her plotting against us or looking for ways to screw us. Be nice to her now and we pave the path for a potential ally that can help solve the Kris problem and others that come up. Sure she tried to kill us but she failed and now look at her. I think that's punishment enough, at least in her eyes and that's enough really. We have bigger things to think about now.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:01 No.9326967
    ... Not making fun of you hun, just trying to be helpful.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:01 No.9326974
    This. 1000 times this!
    I know /tg/ is full of neckbeards that don't understand how emtions work outside of rage and hate but come on faggots. Man up and lets be nice to her as she is part of our household now.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:02 No.9326989
    This seems most our style.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:03 No.9326994
    "L-look, we're not helping you because we like you or anything... right?

    S-stupid demon girl..."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:03 No.9327006
    > "If I was mocking you, I'd be alot less subtle about it. 'Oh miss demon queen, you're looking quite green. Are you going to turn into a wart-covered hag?' That's mockery. What I'm trying to do is to honestly be nice to you. So, do you want my help, honestly, or not?"

    ". . . fine, get me that glass of water," Alicia sighs. "And bring me that damn video game. Or whatever."

    You head up to your owner's cabin and bring down your laptop computer and a controller. When you come back down to Alicia's room, you find her sitting up in bed nibbling on a cracker. She's wearing, of all things, flannel pajamas with unicorns on them.


    "Don't give me that look," Alicia pouts. "Samantha picked these for me."

    "Well, in any case, try this," you say, turning on the laptop and firing up a video game for her. "I don't know why, but it seems to help."

    "All right," Alicia sneers. "But if this makes me more sick, I'll kill you painfully."

    She begins to play. . . and a few minutes into Freespace, she begins to get into the game a bit. "HA! DIE, FOOLISH MORTALS!" she screams. "FACE THE FURY OF MY LASERS OF JUSTICE!"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:04 No.9327011

    As one who is probably Maid Quests biggest, most pathetic fan, I strongly disagree. The fact that the initial surge of misanthropic /tg/ers has abandoned the quest has cheapened it a bit, in my opinion. This carebear shit has got to go. Our character has some goddamn spine, doesn't he? The bitch tried to kill us and blackmail us, didn't she? Rance the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327039

    In an hour or so, when she first meets the Shivans, we're going to hear a scream of... I'm not sure exactly what emotion, but it will be POTENT.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327041

    ...that's freakin' adorable.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327042
    Smile and ask if she needs anything else.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327043
    smile a bit and ask "SO, working better than you thought?"
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327045
    Then you should obviously recognize that we only manage to do totally douchey things to the people we ACTUALLY care about.

    Wouldn't have pegged you as the lasers of JUSTICE, type, personally.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327046
    If we built up the relationship with Kristopher, when she switches emotions with her, wouldn't that mean that her new emotion would be more kinder with Kris being kinder when he/she gets hers back?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:05 No.9327047
    "So... where exactly did Felicia come from anyway? And how are you holding up with that Kat business?"
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:06 No.9327055
    Sit beside her and smile, watch her for a bit then move to Jehanne after a hug.
    Wouldn't rance beat her then just fuck her raw?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:06 No.9327064
    While she's distracted, masturbate!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:07 No.9327091
    Rance doesn't always go hardcore rape. He's rather cunning when he wants to be. This is clearly just us being cunning to get what we want. Yes. That's all.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:08 No.9327095
    Hey, when she first showed up again, I was part of the committee to just shoot her. BUT NO YOU HAD TO GIVE HER A CHANCE TO SHOW HER HUMAN SIDE.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:09 No.9327116

    2. Tell her were taking up magic, and we could use her help. She'll jump on it to try and screw us over, but we'll have a reason to spend time with her and change that attidude. No reward without risk, afterall.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327144
    tsundere towards Alicia sounds hilarious, and I;m bored, let's do it.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327151

    "Lasers of Justice?" you laugh.

    Alicia glowers at you. "Justice can be evil too!" she insists. "Especially if it's blind!"

    "I think Jehanne might be rubbing off on you."

    "Shut up before I throw this controller at you!" Alicia glowers.

    "All right, all right, I'm sorry." You put your hands up disarmingly. "Anyway. . . how are you holding up?"

    "Holding up?"

    "With the whole. . . Kristopher. . . or Kat thing."

    Alicia flinches. On the screen, her starfighter explodes into a shower of debris. She lowers her face, hiding her eyes from you with the bangs of her long, blonde hair.

    "It's hard," she whispers. "Sometimes I want to kill you. Other times. . . I want to love you more than anything else. I don't know which is me any more." She looks up at you, and her eyes are dark and shadowed. "Maybe I should kill you," she says wistfully. "Then maybe I could stop hurting."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327152
    >Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust, now in possession of Katherine's Love (Warm)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327154
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    >Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust, now in possession of Katherine's Love (Warm)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327159
    Killing her just proves that we're a brutish thug. Redemption through love and dickings is a far greater defeat than simply killing her will ever be.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:10 No.9327161
    Now get a second laptop, start a network game. Apollos, Avengers and ML-16s only, final destination. Assert our dominance.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:11 No.9327169

    There is a solution, isn't there?

    Give the love back. Or is that... not an option?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:11 No.9327181
    I'm sorry, but since you are a demon of lust and probably love... you know what losing the one you love is like. killing me would put you in more pain than you could imagine. And you're you, its not a matter of emotion but of mentality! (Roll Bullshit)
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:12 No.9327193
    Hey, let's have her give the love to us. We'll just end up as a narcissist
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:12 No.9327201
    "Actually, that will probably just lead to a murder-suicide. Sort of bad for both of us."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:13 No.9327222
    isn't that the same thing for...half the maids on this boat?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:13 No.9327229
    "You don't need to hurt any longer. I don't want to be your enemy."

    Place a hand on her shoulder.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:14 No.9327243
    Or do this and let her "kill" us.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:15 No.9327256
    > I'm sorry, but since you are a demon of lust and probably love... you know what losing the one you love is like. killing me would put you in more pain than you could imagine. And you're you, its not a matter of emotion but of mentality! (Roll Bullshit)

    > Bullshit vs. Cunning: 8 vs 8

    ". . . I suppose you're right. Besides. . . I can't. It's in the contract." Alicia puts down the controller and curls up in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest.

    "Can't you just. . . give the love back?" you ask. "Maybe. . ."

    "I wish I could. But like I said, the contract. . . not until I know it's safe for Kristopher to go back to being Katherine. And I can't be sure of that right now."

    "Maybe you could put it in me instead? I certainly seem to love myself just fine. . . "

    Alicia glares at you. "It doesn't work that way, idiot," she sighs. "The answer is no. It's either I keep it or I give it back to her. That's the only choice I have. Kinda sucks, doesn't it?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:15 No.9327261
    Fantastic.... let's hang onto that for later.

    "I'd rather you didn't. Fighting my way outta hell once per week is enough for me. Besides, just getting rid of me isn't going to make you feel any better. You'll miss me."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:16 No.9327273
    Masturbating will be even *better*.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:16 No.9327275

    How can we make sure it is safe to give it back to her?

    What do we need to do?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:16 No.9327283

    "This entire situation is a result of the first time you tried to kill me, sweetheart. Gee, that turned out real fucking swell for you, didn't it? Getting eaten alive, inside out, by that corrosive slime us humans call 'love.'

    Why don't you ponder that for a bit."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:17 No.9327288
    It does suck. you know what else sucks? The fact that you're gonna get stomped in vidja games!
    Bust out laptop and challenge her to many games.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:17 No.9327299
    Doesn't suck THAT bad; at least I know it's somewhere safe.

    >"I wish I could. But like I said, the contract. . . not until I know it's safe for Kristopher to go back to being Katherine. And I can't be sure of that right now."
    I'm going to take this as that we kind of have to improve Kristopher's status pretty far beyond Distant to start the wheels rolling on this whole deal. Would that be a safe assumption?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:17 No.9327302
    It does suck, and I'm going to try and find a solution for the problem.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:18 No.9327314
    Well, on the Kat front, maybe ask her if she knows anything about gender swapping magic, considering she IS a demon of lust.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:20 No.9327353
    "Maybe this is a good thing, Alicia. You can learn how to love on your own, now. Lust, pleasure, and sex are all well and good, but love is something else entirely."

    "Besides, at least you're only THINKING about killing me, now, instead of actively trying to kill me."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:20 No.9327357
    Actually, I think managing to gender swap would fix it too, as she said it was because his love for us is incompatible with the fact that he's a guy.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:21 No.9327377

    "Yeah, I know," Alicia mutters. "If I'd known that trying to kill you back then would lead to this, I would have skipped the whole deal thing and waited for your descendant to try this out. You're an asshole."

    "I'm also damn good at this game," you grin. Pulling out a second laptop and a network cable, you plug it in and fire up your second copy of Freespace. "Prepare to die, demon bitch!"

    "Bring it, asshole!" Alicia growls. "I'll show you all the fury of ten thousand years of bloodshed and war in hell!"

    "That was then, sweetheart. This is the future, and in the future, we fight with lasers and missiles!"

    The banter flows back and forth for a while, as freely and easily as between old friends. You don't remember who wins more games. . .probably you, given that Alicia's a total newb at this. . . but you do remember laughing out loud towards the end.

    And for the first time ever, you think you see a true, genuine smile on Alicia's face. Not a self-satisfied smirk or a conniving grin, but an expression of pure, plain happiness.

    > Alicia gained Relationship. Relationship level remains at Warm for now.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:21 No.9327383
    So you're saying that the trap who dresses up like a maid and loved us up until recently isn't gay?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:21 No.9327384
    Tell her instead of trying to get rid of the love, maybe she could try and ditch the hate? It won't be easy, sure, but at least it's not contract-bound.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:22 No.9327390
    Rance would have raped all the maids and been killed by Reginald by now.

    Go find another computer and challenge her so she can work out some of the aggression towards us.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:22 No.9327399

    Give her a quick hug, then let's go speak to our beloved Paladin.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:23 No.9327401

    I believe Alicia has pointed out that she could, possibly, if she were at full power, but her power level is WAY down since you wiped out her entire power base. She's barely capable of handling a single person's love right now, much less the kinds of massive feats she used to pull off. Something to keep in mind.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:23 No.9327405
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:23 No.9327412
    Bid her goodnight, pat her on the head, and lets check on Jehanne.

    "You know, Alicia? I like you a whole lot more this way. Maybe you should consider giving up the demon queen angle, eh? Anyway, have a good night. Hopefully you won't be so sick tomorrow."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:23 No.9327415
    I'm pretty sure he dressed up like a maid because he wanted to be a woman.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:24 No.9327425
    D'awww, etc.

    Still kind of curious to know what the deal with
    Felicia is, as was asked by >>9326869 and >>9327047

    Ask those questions, then I suppose leave her to her justice-lasering.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:24 No.9327434

    You leave Alicia curled up in her bed sleeping, and close the door behind you. Sleeping like that, she looks small and vulnerable, a far cry from the demon princess you know she is. Funny that.

    You take a moment to knock on Jehanne's door, but she's not there. Maybe she went out for a moment, or something.

    What do? Where look?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327440
    >Implying that she would become a threat to us if we somehow made her more powerful? And making her powerful might clash with our relationship with Jehanne and Felicia. Maybe even our always Angry maid.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327442
    Bid her goodnight, hug her, and tell her you await her challenge at freespace when she's practiced more.

    Go to jehanne
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327445
    Take a quick look around, the boat isn't that big
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327447
    Then we shall give her THE POWER OF LOVE.
    (synthesizer solo)
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327448

    Keep this in mind for the next time you guys talk to Alicia.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:25 No.9327449

    Look on the deck of the ship. I'd be willing to bet our paladin is up there.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:26 No.9327455
    Above deck; marvel at some goddamn miracles and such.

    Be wary of potential pelican attacks.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:26 No.9327456
    Check the ship's deck outside. Or the hot tub.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:26 No.9327461
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    >psychotic hateful demon queen is mostly powered-down now

    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:26 No.9327464
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:26 No.9327471
    Go out onto the deck, search for something to drink.

    Put on some Haddaway.

    Start bobbing head.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:27 No.9327473
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:27 No.9327483

    Let's roll a move silent check while we scout around. I'd love to know what Jehanne is up to this time.

    And by "love to know," I mean "drink in the sight of her latest naughty escapade."
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:28 No.9327487
    Don't we have a hot tub? Hot tub, at night, under the stars out at sea. Could be pretty swell.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:28 No.9327495
    HEY! CUT IT OUT! We are going to go all noble with Jehanne, GET IT? Treat her like the sexy sexy knight she is and woo her!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:28 No.9327500

    You head up to the ship's deck. This late at night, it's eerily quiet and empty.

    You hear a soft splashing noise, and turn to investigate. Walking to the back of the boat, you see something you didn't quite expect.

    It's Jehanne. She's swimming back and forth behind the ship, her eyes looking up at the starry night sky, her soaking wet blonde hair streaming behind her in the water. As she backstrokes slowly, but surely, you can see her expression: it's a bit troubled, but also contemplative.

    You can also see that she's naked.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:29 No.9327514
    "Mind if I join you?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327523
    Do I really need to state what we do now....Really? Ok, summon our staff of lordly might and start whacking it
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327525
    Ask to join her
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327527

    Get naked, slip in as quietly as possible.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327530
    don't interrupt her.
    just watch.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327536

    A thousand times THIS.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:30 No.9327539
    Strip off your clothes and dive in.

    If we're going to woo her, then we're going to be as forward as possible about it.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:31 No.9327557
    Watch from the shadows.
    Hand her clothes when she gets out.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:32 No.9327559
    Be all polite about it too. No "Mind if I join with you?" puns either!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:33 No.9327572
    "Mind if I join you?" you ask.

    Suddenly startled, Jehanne gives out a small squeak of alarm and disappears under the water. She comes up treading water with her hands over her bare breasts, looking up at you sheepishly. "I'm sorry!" she says. "I thought everyone was asleep!"

    "I was just getting some air," you say. "This looks like fun, though. . ."

    And before Jehanne can react, you've already taken off your clothes and dived in.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:33 No.9327589
    If we must take to the water, be sure to do it in a graceless manner, followed by swearing and bitching about slippery decks.

    But honestly, we should leave her be.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:34 No.9327599
    Swim around her, ask if she's enjoying the boat trip.

    Ask if she's done any more thinking about her patron deity.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:34 No.9327603

    Draw Fairbain-Skyes. Patrol around boat for giant squids.

    Make a bib.... PING! ... bip... PING! sound as we do so.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:35 No.9327604
    Don't be ashamed of your body!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:35 No.9327619
    No prying questions for now, just a bit of playful splashing.

    Being playful is underrated.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:35 No.9327623
    "Have you thought of becoming a water nymph? Or at least taking Aphrodite as a patron god? You know she came out of the sea too."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:36 No.9327640
    > Athletics check: 3

    It occurs to you, as you hit the surface of the water, that it must be goddamn cold in the ocean in the middle of night.

    This is very quickly confirmed to you, and you let out a squawk and a high pitched cry of dismay, as the icy water closes in over your head.

    "GODDAMN!" you shout, coming back up for air, teeth chattering. "It's freezing!"

    "I tried to tell you!" Jehanne says, "I cast Endure Elements before I dove in!" She laughs at your discomfort, her bright, strong voice sounding like bells in the cold, clear night.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:36 No.9327644
    Yeah, probably a better idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:37 No.9327652
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    >slippery decks
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:37 No.9327663


    NOW, let us go on giant squid patrol!
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:38 No.9327671
    Jump out. Ensue awkwardness.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:38 No.9327677
    Man up, tolerate the cold. We won't notice in a couple minutes anyways
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:38 No.9327678
    You know, I was actually wondering about that, but wrote it off as DM handwaving.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:39 No.9327688

    .... shiiiiiiiiiiit
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:39 No.9327694
    "C-c-can y-y-you do me a favor and cast it on me as well?"
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:39 No.9327696
    Because we'll have frozen to death.

    But I suppose stay in the water a bit longer.
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)01:39 No.9327711
    Man up and keep swimming. Enjoy pleasant conversation while penis becomes concave.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:39 No.9327714
    prying questions are boring, let's just dick around. We took this cruise to have FUN, and FUN we shall have!
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:40 No.9327722
    Attempt to Swim to her, being a man about it. Join her for a swim and give her a chattering smile
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:40 No.9327723
    Oh god. Is Endure Elements a touch only spell?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:40 No.9327737
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    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:41 No.9327753
    This guy has a brain in his jar.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:42 No.9327768
    You amuse yourself by swimming around the boat making sonar noises and checking for giant squid. None here. It also helps to warm you up a bit, as the exercise helps you to ignore the worst of the cold.

    By the time you come back around. Jehanne is sitting on the fishing deck, her feet in the water. Although she hands you a towel as you come up out of the water, she's sitting nude under the stars, seemingly unconcerned by her nakedness, staring up at the night sky.

    "I'm glad," you say.

    "Hmmm?" Jehanne replies.

    "You seem to be. . . less embarassed about your body."

    "I've been giving some thought to what you said," Jehanne admits. "And maybe I have been too hard on myself. Bahamut, I am sure, would not want one of his best warriors to deface her own body. It would make it harder to fight evil."

    "So. . . have you given a thought to a new god?" you ask.

    "I think. . . I think maybe I may have," Jehanne says.
    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:42 No.9327769
    >Casting Time: 1 standard action
    >Range: Touch

    This makes it doublely a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:42 No.9327777
    "Well? Who have you chosen?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:44 No.9327822
    "...do you want me to guess?"

    I think we're in autosage by the way.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:44 No.9327823
    Listen attentively while enjoying the view. Try to keep erection from being too visible
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:44 No.9327824
    Jehanne responds by reaching out and touching your face. Immediately, you feel the cold start to leave you, as her spell takes effect. It also seems to help your "best friend" come out of hiding, as the warm relaxes you. . .

    Are we autosaging?
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:44 No.9327827
    Touch her hand.

    "You shouldn't feel guilt and shame, especially not when you're helping people. You're probably one of- no, THE kindest, noblest person I've ever met.

    You're a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Jehanne... I love you."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/21/10(Wed)01:45 No.9327835
    climb out, dry off and sit nude next to her with the towel over BOTH shoulders (yours and hers).

    "Oh? what god or goddess?"

    >> Anomymous. 04/21/10(Wed)01:46 No.9327840
    Yes we are.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:46 No.9327846

    In whose name shall you be smiting bitches?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/21/10(Wed)01:47 No.9327871

    New thread
    >> Dastard Bastard !aYK4KNSE9U 04/21/10(Wed)01:47 No.9327872
    Yea, last check of 305 posts. The ship is sinking.
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:48 No.9327895
    "Jehanne... I can't devote myself fully to you. You've... seen me with Felicia - and there will be others. Can you still love me in spite of that?"
    >> Anonymous 04/21/10(Wed)01:49 No.9327898
    Thanks, and I'm really glad to see how you've taken to this personal challenge and truly overcome it. It really seems you've taken your greatest weakness and made it into another strength.

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