I may have said to much already.
>>9224379I say sir, if you don't mind me pointing it out, you look a bit green around the gills.
>>9224393Your maids called. Apparently, your mansion is now a spaceship.
>>9224450I beg your pardon?What have they done THIS time? I shall have stern words for Aimee after this!
>>9224478And they hired this man as the pilot. I don't know why you don't just appoint a head maid that isn't half-cat.
>>9224478Pardon me, but your monocle has apparently switched eyes. Does it do that often?
>>9224508Oh that man is simply Adelheid's cousin! Solid man, and knows his way around DirigiblesAlthough I am rather put out that my home is currently mobile.
>>9224545>>9224478>>9224393It did it again. I believe your monocle is possessed, my good man.
OP here. This was meant for another thread but least's ride this out.
>>9224533>>9224574It is a simple tick I acquired while fighting the pygmies of Zawalandada. I also received my limp there. I ask that you kindly not draw any more attention to it then is necessary.Agatha! Fetch me my Top-hat, would you kindly? I fear it will be up to me to retrieve my ancestral home.
>>9224545Adelheid's cousin is an Ethiope? Good Lord, man! These people should be picking cotton, not flying aeroplanes! Sure, it starts with them flying aeroplanes but it ends up with them sleeping with our women and corrupting our children with their strange devil-music!
>>9224545If it helps at all, Lord Faggotron the 3rd, I may have mentioned your impressive past and the many adventures you partook in to some gentlemen engineers that I know.It may be that those friends of mine may have done some pro bono publico work and outfitted you for retirement.
Gree'ns guv'na! Fer a penny, I'll shoine yer shoes!
>>9224608>Fetch me my Top-hat, would you kindly?I... feel a compelling urge to get a tophat and hand it to him.And to be underwater.
>>9224612Come now man! What do you think we are, heathens?We keep a close eye on him at all times.>>9224613Retire? Not while my lips still draw breath my good man!>>9224644I shall give you two pennies to do the exact opposite, and I shall give you a full pound to permanently remove yourself from my garden until you clean yourself up.
>>9224662He's not speaking in a fake Irish Accent though.
>>9224608>It is a simple tick I acquired while fighting the pygmies of ZawalandadaWHITE GIANTS MURDERERS! WHITE GIANTS KILL FAMILY AND BURN TREES!WHITE GIANTS PIGDISGUSTING!
>>9224714Great Scott! A whole pound easily go'n! Count me in, squoire!A pound o' wot, exactly?
>>9224824I think he means the money.
>>9224714Master! Master! Adelhied and his cousin have hijacked the airship-mansion! Don't worry, I'll get it back for you.Leave it to me~
>>9224824A pound of coal, my boy! To get you started on your job shoveling the furnaces at my munitions factory! Come along now! Before the others get your work-issue mite covered blanket!
>>9224848You are the newest maid, correct? The one hired from the Orient?Very well then, you have three hours to return my ancestral home to it's proper place. I have invited several fellows to cards this evening and it will not do to have no place to play.
>>9224824I meant a pound of fine ham. Plenty to feed you and your family for a week at least. And in a week you will receive your first pay for being my new gardener's assistant. You CAN use a shovel and take orders, can't you?Samantha, it appears my Top-hat will be unneeded for the time being.
>>9224879Right away, Master!>salute
I think I wandered into a Maid thread.
>>9224904You dare deprive me of my newest source of low maintenance child labour?!This is not the end of it, sir! Not by a long shot.
>>9224937Do not think I have forgotten about the hunting hound sir! That insult alone would justify a duel.>>9224909Well be prompt about it! You may take one of the Butlers if you require assistance. Jenkins is currently free of tasks.
>>9224937>>9224904>>9224870Gentlemen, gentlemen, stop fighting! The kid's already died of Cholera.
>>9224995Then what are you waiting for?! Shovel him into the furnace! we cannot let this invaluable fuel go to waste!
What the hell happened in this thread?
>>9224992Master! There's a problem, the mansion is in the sky and I can't fly. Can Jenkins fly?
>>9225131Hmmm? Oh, no, but he knows how to fly the personal airship at the Airfield.
>>9225228Shall I, then, m'lord?
>>9225234Yes, please do. Imagine my embarrassment if the gentlemen arrive and I have no house!
>>9225234SHOTGUN! I CALL SHOTGUN!
>>9225308Unfortunately not, my dear. I must reserve that space for my actual shotgun. Sky-bandits and such. You will have to remain safely tucked away in a crate in the cargo hold. A thousand apologies.
>>9225371Badass Butler flying an airplane with a shotgun...GLORIOUS!
>>9225414Afraid so, madam. It's all for the best, though. You do get so frightfully air-sick. Are you well prepared?>>9225427Fuck yeah!
>>9225442SUCH LANGUAGE!And you better be wearing a bowler.
>>9225454>Actually owns (and is wearing) a bowler IRL.
>>9225442>dons flying goggles, enters boxN-n-n-n-n-yes...
It does take a long time for you lot to do anything.
>>9225510Very well then, we must make haste. Master Faggatron does hate to be kept waiting.
>>9225527Hmph. I don't bloody well see you offering to help.
>>9225535An industrialist has many things to do!Like stand around privately owned airships, evidently.
Lord Faggatron, my old chap! Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been forced to arrive early. I'm ashamed I can't arrive right on the appointed hour as a gentleman, but the circumstance has conspired against my schedule.
>>9225442>muffled, from inside box inside cargo holdOH BASTET THE WORLD IS SPINNING AUGH-HKKPTH. HKPPKTHP-only a hair-ball~Have we reached the mansion yet?b
Bet Faggatron is sleeping, we should rob him.
>>9225550Yes, we arrived ten minutes ago. I hadn't informed you yet, because it amuses me to leave you in suspense. And please do avoid making a mess in that crate. We'll need it again later.Now, praytell, do you have the foggiest idea as to how to pilot Lord Faggatron's home? I'm afraid these controls are quite beyond me.
>>9225621Don't forget Adelheid's cousin!
>>9225672Hm. Yes. Quite right. Thank you kindly, disembodied voice. Can't very well go forgetting the bloody pilot, eh?
>>9225712No Jenkins I meant don't forget... THAT I HIJACKED THE HOUSE SHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE! HAHAHA!You've fallen RIGHT into my trap! DEPLOY THE CAGE!
>>9225621>head emerges from boxSometimes I don't like you very much, Jenkins.And yes, I know how to pilot the mansion BUT I'M NOT GOING TO UNLESS YOU GET ME A NEW BOX THAT IS PINK AND HAS SEQUENS AND FRILLS AND AIR-HOLES AND>very, very long list of demands
>>9225738Who needs airholes?
>>9225730Hmph. A cage? How rudimentary, my good ethiope. I long ago learned the easiest ways to escape such contrivances, while serving in the foreign legion. Katze, be a dear and hand me my shotgun. It would seem I'll need to be re-writing our pilot's terms of employment. Back in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
>>9225738I shall be certain that your next crate is of nothing but the finest quality. But that's really neither here nor there at the moment. We seem to be in the clutches of an insane Negro.
>still inside box, but gesturing frantically...AND CHOLOLATES AND A GIANT MECHA CALLED HOWARD AND BURRITOS AND>cage falls, crushing left armAGDPTHGPH.
>>9225837STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS! And get some of Dr. Franklin von Schweibacher's RRRRRRevolutionary all-curing &limb renewing snake oil! MARVEL as your arms grow back at lightning-speed! BE AMAZED at the curative properties of the cocaine! The cure-all can even be used as a perfume that is GUA-RAN-TEED to attract even the finest women!
>>9225837SHIT JUST GOT REAL.Also, ITT: Gentlemen, cholera, monocles, airships, mentlegen, Zahkaev, neko-maids, shotgun-wielding pilot butlers, flying mansions and to top it off, OP's pic was a mis-post.
>>9225807>>9225824WHAT? WHO LET HIM KEEP HIS SHOTGUN? Those waves of expendable mooks should have taken care of that, or at least used up you ammunition!LESS EXPENDABLE AND BETTER TRAINED GUARDS, KILL THEM!>>9225886And I'll take 3 bottles!
>>9225886BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO COCAAAINE!>tosses Jenkins the shotgun with remaining good arm
>>9225937Not to worry. Your arm's not even that crushed. Nothing a quick nip of brandy won't fix in a jiffy.>>9225913>Disposes of a great many minions and guards.Hm. A better attempt, certainly, my dear nemesis. But I'm afraid that you're out of guards and traps, and I seem to be frightfully lacking in shells. I suppose that fisticuffs it must be. Our lord Faggatron's card game is in a mere half-hour and must not be postponed, to say nothing of the damages done to the property, and the injurious nature of your assaults upon the person of the good maid Katze. En garde, you cad!
>>9226011You forgot one thing: this good man has hired me: Signor Fratezza, the Greatest Occultist of my generation! *casts ressurection spell*Let us now prepare for round two, il mio amigo!
>>9226011>alcoholB-brandy? Even after what happened last time?>flashback to burning mansion, police sirens, rioting and gunfireYA->attempts to throw arms into air, failsow
>>9226063Look, either you drink brandy and start shooting plebs naked again, or you drink water and die of dysentry.
What's this? Someone sort of Insane Asylum?
>>9226052HAHAHA! Yes, it was money well spent!Plus you take cash, unlike the voodoo men of my homeland, who require virgins and goat's blood.
>>9226114>shooting plebs nakedI-I-I thought everyone had forgotten about that......>commences search for alcohol
... Well look at this. The Mansion is almost out of fuel. Signor Fratezza! Order your zombies to keep them busy while we make out escape!Nighty night Jenkins, and may I see you in HELL!
>>9226202You'll have to pay me extra to be able to order my superior skills around.
>>9226202>Order your zombies to keep them busy while we make out escape!>keep them busy while we make outMight wanna watch yourself Signor.
>>9226052Fratezza! I should have known! I'd hoped not to have to resort to this, but luckily, I too have backup!>Pulls on a particularly large torch-bracket in the mansion.A dread beast, captured, I'm told, in distant Araby. Local legend says it's killed near a million men in its lifetime. Surely you lot pose no particular threat to such a magnificent horror. Au Revoir!
>>9226260And now Lord Faggatron will have to RE-CAPTURE it.
>finds ZOMBIE HANDAAAUGH! OH EW IT'S DRIPPING EVERYWHERE.>throws ZOMBIE HAND
>>9226285A pleasant afternoon hunting it down will do him some good. Present something of a challenge.
>>9226260Dios Mio! What a magnificent specimen!Luckily, that demon can not kill those who are already on the other side. Men! CHARGE!
>>9226335>>9226052>>9226234... My next character will be a Spanish necromancer.
>pulls out a small vial of what looks like vodka from her left earHe-here goes...>chug
>>9226335On occasion, discretion has been known to be the better part of valor. Katze! Back aboard the airship! I'm afraid we are no match for these unliving hooligans in our current state, and I have quite no intention of becoming a meal for the loathsome curs.
>>9226386>looking for more alcoholBut the mansion! Master's card game!
>>9226411>Gives flask of brandy.Blast it all! Do you have a plan? Because I'm fresh out of bullets, and the demon has no interest in the zombies.
>>9226453WOO!>chugThe-the snake oil, it regenerates limbs, right? We, we give it to the zombies. And then we shoot them again!>produces huge revolverAnd again, and ag-hic-ain.>chug
>>9226494You had a gun this whole time, you abominable woman?! Don't bother to shoot the zombies! Shoot the god-forsaken sorcerer! That should put an end to his magicks!
>>9226524>examines now-empty flaskAwww.>casually plants it in a nearby zombie's faceNOBODY STEALS MY MASTER'S MANSION AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! >runs off towards the two retreating figures, firing wildly