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  • File : 1271143648.jpg-(154 KB, 1632x1224, 1269588924436.jpg)
    154 KB Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:27 No.9161878  
    You see this.

    Roll initiative.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:28 No.9161895
    holy crap what is that XBOXHEUG spider
    >> Ghost !ROf1DooMsA 04/13/10(Tue)03:30 No.9161914
    Cup and paper

    strength 10, AP 1
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:30 No.9161916
    Vaccuum up spider, sell game controller that suddenly appeared in my house. The fuck?
    >> G. D. !!Y8HG2fUusNY 04/13/10(Tue)03:30 No.9161920
    Can I choose to avoid combat?
    I'm sure that thing has more hit points than I do.

    ...fucking hate spiders.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:30 No.9161924
    Hobo spiders infest my house. My peripheral vision and hearing have become so keen that I can literally hear them crawling walls and detect their position in total darkness.

    That's not a boast. I have literally become some sort of spider- killing abomination. IT SUCKS
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:32 No.9161933
    Can you come to my house?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:32 No.9161935
         File1271143936.jpg-(44 KB, 466x453, que.jpg)
    44 KB
    Quickdraw Dagger, hide in shadows
    >> Sorain !VReP2N9ezw 04/13/10(Tue)03:32 No.9161936
         File1271143937.jpg-(245 KB, 1024x1401, 1260150048362.jpg)
    245 KB
    rolled 2 + 4 = 6

    *Que http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uljVa4pd854&feature=related *
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:32 No.9161938
    They're just training you to be the ultimate weapon.

    You should become an exterminator and act like one of the crazy ones in the movie.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:33 No.9161945
    That's Armament, Spider Level, and Location.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)03:35 No.9161962
    i have panic attacks when spiders pop up unexpected. So probably it'd go: PANIC -> grab an object -> hit spider with object till it stops looking like anything resembling a spider
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/13/10(Tue)03:37 No.9161987

    Why? It's not even that big or properly poisonous.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:18 No.9162975
    Because if you're not careful, it will try and kill you. You'd be a fool to underestimate it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:20 No.9162994
    Say ooh cool! And watch it for a while. Given the size I might take it outside, but Spiders are awesome anyway because they eat noisy annoying flying fuckers. That is, unless I'm in australia where everything is lethal. Then I kill it.
    >> Deafdefiler !bll4ybGPow 04/13/10(Tue)05:23 No.9163022
    If it's in Australia, you leave it alone, or take it outside. Australia's where most things can kill you, but most of it just doesn't care enough.

    Now, if you're in New Zealand... You get the biggest fucking shoe in your house, and beat yourself to death with it because New Zealand is where EVERYTHING CAN KILL YOU AND WANTS TO DO SO AS PAINFULLY AS POSSIBLE.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:24 No.9163037
    Oh! Good to know.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:26 No.9163069

    It's true. Most of our fauna are so lethal that no zoologist has managed to record their existence. Anyone who goes looking for them is as good as dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:27 No.9163075
    Huntsman Spider.
    Harmless, keep as pets to keep mossies down.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:28 No.9163084
    I roll a natural 20 and attack with my vorpal shoe.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:29 No.9163094
         File1271150963.gif-(1.25 MB, 320x180, SPIDERSONSPIDERS.gif)
    1.25 MB
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:29 No.9163095
    Why the fuck do you stay in NZ?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:30 No.9163108

    Well, it's an adventure. And petrol here is cheap as fuck. Which is just as well, I guess, since walking anywhere is a pretty good way to lose a foot.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:32 No.9163121
         File1271151130.gif-(39 KB, 600x610, 202_FIESTAWII.gif)
    39 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:34 No.9163142
    2 HP, 15 AC, +5 attack that does 1d3-4 and poisons?

    I can take it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:36 No.9163150
         File1271151371.jpg-(87 KB, 620x451, Belittle-Flame_Thrower.jpg)
    87 KB
    Take hair spray, take lighter, light lighter spray and BURN MOTHERFUCKER BURN!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:38 No.9163169
    Fucking aye, New Zealander here. Shits deadly alright, death counts high and many resort to drugs to deal with the stress but hell there aint any other place on earth i'd wanna call home.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:40 No.9163184
         File1271151632.jpg-(68 KB, 640x463, Kill It With Fire.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:41 No.9163193
    That is a 12d6 of painful fire right there.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:42 No.9163200
    and blow yourself the fuck up in the process.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:43 No.9163207
    > Australia's where most things can kill you, but most of it just doesn't care enough.

    Mate, that's 'cause it's 40 degrees and 98% humidity IN THE FUCKIN' SHADE. It's to hot to be arsed killing anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:43 No.9163209
    lol never tried it huh?
    >> Deafdefiler !bll4ybGPow 04/13/10(Tue)05:44 No.9163219
    Only if you spray-then-light.
    If you light-then-spray, you get a nice little flamethrower, just make sure to hold the can 2-3 inches away from the lighter or we'll have problems.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)05:55 No.9163322

    I love that you guys are even typing with broad accents. Youse fullahs is rully evokung thu spirut uv tha nation, eh.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)06:47 No.9163531

    Hell yeah. Can't wait till it starts snowing all over the North Island. They said it's gonna happen really early this year. That should keep the god damn Keas under control. Fucking beasts keep swooping me, one took a slice of my head just yesterday.
    >> Comissar Wibble 04/13/10(Tue)06:49 No.9163541
    Bloody 'ell, how'd that little bugger get there? Wait right there, you little shit. You'll regret ever crawling on my 360.

    Now, where did I put me patrol boots?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)06:50 No.9163549
    Just a callobius severus. Totally harmless, they can bite but have no poison. Let the big guy go in your neighbors basement.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)06:53 No.9163568
    It's harder than it looks.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:02 No.9163609

    Why? Spider wouldn't be there if there wasn't vermin to eat. OM NOM NOM away little friend.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:06 No.9163631
    Thats what he said...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:07 No.9163639
         File1271156878.jpg-(54 KB, 615x615, ohgodwhat.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:09 No.9163655
         File1271156984.jpg-(189 KB, 900x769, ceiling_spiders.jpg)
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    I do not fear spiders, for I am spiders incarned.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:09 No.9163656
    Why would I set my gaming buddy on fire. I can never win against they guy sure, but he is teaching me his mad eight arm Tekken moves.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:10 No.9163662
         File1271157044.jpg-(292 KB, 1024x576, this thread.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:28 No.9163767
    40 degrees? Pfft. You pussy.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:30 No.9163782
    I think he means celsius. That would be about 105 degrees in farenheit.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:31 No.9163788

    New Zealand is where nothing kills you at all, because everything but the moari learned to get along.
    Except Kea learned that sheep were delicious.
    >> Nameless 04/13/10(Tue)07:34 No.9163813
    rolled 11 = 11

    I attempt to scroll to the next thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:36 No.9163820

    Indeed, celsius. a 40-degree day is also what we call "Watch the tourists pass out from heat exhaustion and laugh at their pathetic constitutions. Then drink beer." weather.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:38 No.9163835
    i love big spider threads

    brings all the australians out. We just can't help ourselves

    australia: where day to day life is an rpg
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:41 No.9163856
    u so tough.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:47 No.9163891
    That would be awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:49 No.9163906
    i doubt it.

    Most oz /tg/ dwellers are terrified of the outside world, the sun turns them into pools of whining goo, and they all get drunk walking past a bottle shop

    lmao, i'm in that group too, but at least collosal ass spiders don't freak me out
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:51 No.9163919
    I failed my fear check, gained 1d5 insanity, and am now running away.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:52 No.9163921
         File1271159522.jpg-(65 KB, 750x600, 1265024970756.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:52 No.9163927
    Damnit.... are you my twin? Which one of us is the evil one?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:53 No.9163935
    not really

    the spiders are either FUCK OFF massive or tiny and fatal
    the snakes are either FUCK OFF massive or massive and deadly
    crocodiles get big enough to eat sharks
    blue ringed octopus and cone shelss will kill you dead and it's likely you won't have seen them

    i could go on. And on. And on
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:55 No.9163949
    I quite like the upper thirties weather myself. It's at around 30+ that I actually feel awake. My theory: I'm part of the process of Australians becoming cold blooded.
    At around 45 it becomes pretty unbearable though.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:57 No.9163966
    FYI: Those are harvestmen, they're not spiders.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:57 No.9163973
    They've just discovered that dingos can go 22 days without water or something. That's how a domestic dog had to evolve to survive here.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:57 No.9163974
    This is why I love Canada.
    One half of the year it's too damned cold for spiders to be out and about.
    The other half all we get are relatively harmless spiders that are dumb enough to scurry across the floor and make themselves squishable.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:59 No.9163992

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)07:59 No.9163996
    I'm slightly annoyed at our lack of beavers. Beavers are crazy enough to belong in Australia.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:00 No.9164005

    Eurobro here, would a pet beaver be viable?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:01 No.9164018
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:02 No.9164027

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:03 No.9164038
    we have the platypus though

    world's only venomous mammal! Fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:06 No.9164065

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:09 No.9164088
    Now I'm going to have to make a ranger with a beaver animal companion.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:10 No.9164100

    I -think- I remember that commercial.

    God damn, the older Canadian beer commercials were hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:11 No.9164113


    Is there more than one New Zealand, some other incredibly dangerous New Zealand which I haven't heard of? Which for some reason hasn't been named New New Zealand to ease confusion.

    Most dangerous thing I've ever come across in the 20+ years I've spent here is probably this one brown sheep that had a tendency to headbutt everything. I didn't really hurt, but it was sort of unnerving.


    Is it weird that I find this sort of cute?
    Baby spiders.

    Anyway. I pick up spider with bare hands because I'm a manly testosterone driven beast, then gently deposit said spider outside without harming it because I'm a pathetic tree hugging hippie dipshit.

    Then I play xbox and get to experience the joy of 12 year olds swearing at me until my crappy internet has a fit and dies for a day or two.

    Don't come to New Zealand folks, it kind of sucks.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:14 No.9164157
    You. Are. The GREATEST. Person. On. /tg/. Tonight.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:15 No.9164164
    I enjoyed your country, the wildlife didn't try to kill me, and was huge and charming.

    I wish New Zealand to become a vassal state of Australia, but no one else likes that idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:17 No.9164183
    you already are

    why do you think you have a team in all of australia's sporting comps
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:18 No.9164190
    Here's another one
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:20 No.9164225

    It'll never happen, we're taught to hate Australia from a young age, it's ingrained in all of us.

    Plan is, I think. To slowly increase the number of New Zealanders "immigrating" to Australia until we outnumber the Australians, then take over the country and rename it New New Zealand, then return home, taking all your gold, women and golden women if you have any of those with us.

    And without those key elements your nation will be powerless.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:23 No.9164243

    Who else are we going to compete with?

    We don't have many other decent nearby choices.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:24 No.9164252
    2d10 con damage poison. Enjoy death feygoat
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:24 No.9164254
    Yeah we already know about that one, the possums told us after we introduced them to do the exact same thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:25 No.9164263
         File1271161541.jpg-(468 KB, 596x610, 126192781733.jpg)
    468 KB
    There's always south africa.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:29 No.9164298
         File1271161741.jpg-(231 KB, 1024x1309, 126107283814.jpg)
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    ...Stick WHAT on the Barbie?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:29 No.9164300
    I'm pretty sure koalas are venomous, too.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:30 No.9164310
    They just taste really bad.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:31 No.9164319
    Drop Bears.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:32 No.9164321
    ok, since it's abundantly clear we have ausfags and visitors to ausfaggia lurking, let me ask a question:

    on your journies through australia quest, what's the worst thing you've come across?

    Mine: a spider with the body shape of a red back, but the size of a huntsman. It moved like an 80's slasher villain: doesn't matter how fast you run, it keeps walking and it still gets there first.

    Creepiest thing ever
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:33 No.9164327
    I love scaring tourists with that.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:33 No.9164331
    A baby drop bear killed fifty dingoes last Thursday with it's venomous attack.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:34 No.9164342
    no, they're poisonous. Koala meat is toxic thanks to the pure eucalyptus diet
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:35 No.9164349
         File1271162131.jpg-(70 KB, 392x578, incorrect.jpg)
    70 KB

    No sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:38 No.9164385
         File1271162320.jpg-(88 KB, 419x286, drop bear.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:39 No.9164388
         File1271162346.jpg-(84 KB, 600x399, 2009-06-05 Hazel and a Spider (...).jpg)
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    I hate spiders that move like that.
    "I have a destination. Your destination."

    As much as I love the New Zealand in this thread, this picture is more accurate.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:39 No.9164392
    The worst thing that has happened to me was probably ants, to be honest. I was posing for a photograph and didn't notice that it was a nest. The bastards crawled all over me without my noticing, then must have released the chemical for "Attack" because they all bit at once. I jumped about a meter in the air at that point, and it was fifteen minutes of hard work trying to get the bastards off me.

    Second worst thing was going to a nude beach and having a jellyfish wrap itself around my balls. Fuck the beach. I don't go anymore.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:39 No.9164393

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:40 No.9164411
    Finding out what a stone fish looks like, thinking back to all the tidal pools I played in as a kid, and realising there could have been one in every single pool and I wouldn't have known.

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:42 No.9164422
    >>9164392 having a jellyfish wrap itself around my balls
    Dude... that's nasty... I have no reaction images for just how nasty that sounds...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:42 No.9164424
    I heard in Austrailia, there's a type of Spider which, if it feels threatened, will rear up on its hind legs, screech at you, then charge aggressively.

    Can anyone confirm/deny? I think I may have found my new favorite animal if it's true.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:43 No.9164430
    fell out of bed laughing at part 2.

    Sorry dude. Been there kind of. Friend of mine threw one of those big blue jellyfish at me and got me square in the ear.

    No, it wasn't a bluebottle
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:45 No.9164448

    I was in the water somewhere on some touristy crap in the great barrier reef. There was some type of barracuda. They're fucking freaky looking.
    I was not enjoying being near it.
    But I did see a turtle.
    Turtles are awesome.
    >> Nameless 04/13/10(Tue)08:45 No.9164450
    I started looking up pics of funnelweb spiders, I was going to post one and ask if that was what you saw. But then I realised I'd never be able to sleep tonight, so I stopped.
    Huntsman spiders? No problem. Redbacks? Easy as. Funnelwebs? Brrrrrr.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:45 No.9164453
         File1271162725.jpg-(154 KB, 400x533, IMG_1965.jpg)
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    Oh god blue bottles have ruined the beach for me.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:45 No.9164454

    australian critters aren't polite enough to warn you that they're there
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:47 No.9164471
         File1271162866.jpg-(123 KB, 504x434, fuckfuckfuck.jpg)
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    Enjoy your insomnia.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:47 No.9164473
    get rolled up newspaper from mailbox, redback crawls out onto my hand and I flicked it away in surprise.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:47 No.9164474
         File1271162872.jpg-(35 KB, 300x273, large_reptilefrillneck.jpg)
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    You're thinking of lizards, not spiders.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:48 No.9164477
    At times like these I can really be happy I live in a country that doesn't have poisonous aquatic creatures, the most dangerous snake is an adder that has an easily treatable bite, and all the spiders are tiny, non-venomous and generic-looking.

    >throwing eachother with jellyfishes
    What the fuck, aussies.
    >> Nameless 04/13/10(Tue)08:48 No.9164480
    Funnelwebs. They have to rear up to get their fangs clear.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:49 No.9164492
    Oh wait, it's "The worst thing you've come across" not "The worst thing that has actually attacked you".

    At school camp in the Adelaide hills many years ago it rained nearly constantly. As a result the nearby bush emptied itself of spotted trapdoor spiders, who all crawled to the bunks for shelter from the rain (their trapdoor nests get flooded, you see".

    Basically one night the teachers didn't get any sleep as they spent the whole night killing spiders that were crawling under the doors. There weren't enough teachers for all the bunks though and they had to do the rounds, so a few did get in to people's shoes and bags, which meant everyone had to check their stuff. It was a nightmare and a few kids pissed themselves.

    By dawn spiders were still marching towards the bunks and had taken over the showers.

    Second worse would have been going to a misc. creek in NT at night and turning a torch on, only to see the reflection of a half dozen or so crocodile eyes.
    We ran far away.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:49 No.9164495
    >Australia's where most things can kill you, but most of it just doesn't care enough.

    Cassowaries, those agressive fuckers don't need an excuse. You're on two legs? RAGEBIRD!!!

    And there's these fuckers.
    "jack jumper ants cause more deaths in Tasmania than spiders, snakes, wasps, and sharks combined."

    Cigarette snail is the one that freaks me the fuck out. All them shells I collected as a kid? Looking back, some of them WERE cigarette snail shells. Thank fuck a) there weren't any in there, and b) Mum took adrenaline, anti venoms, etc. (y'know basic first aid) to the beach, every time.

    Oh, screaming loony spiders. Yeah, though they're not technically spiders. . .
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:51 No.9164512
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:53 No.9164536

    Fuck that, he's awesome. Look at him. I bet he's all FUCK YOU I'M A SPIDER. You will never be as badass as that spider.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:53 No.9164538
         File1271163216.jpg-(81 KB, 750x600, Australia.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:53 No.9164540
    No one else wanted it, well okay, the aborigines kinda liked it, but there was plenty of space and it was to hot for them to complain when we moved in. Boy did they make a mistake.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:53 No.9164541
    fell out of bed again. Some of these stories are hillarious
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:54 No.9164560
    I used to hate spiders with a passion but one day there was this fucking annoying fly in my room and it had been flying around being an annoying little fuck for about a hour and a half.
    then he flew right into a spider web by my window, the spider immediately OM NOM NOM NOMD it. he became my spider bro, just sitting there eating bugs as flew in through the open window.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:56 No.9164574
    Googles "huntsman spiders" to test my manliness levels.


    >"These eight-eyed spiders are found in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Southeast Asia, the Mediterranean, Florida, and Hawaii, and possibly in many other tropical and semi-tropical regions."
    >"...New Zealand..."


    Fuck you Australia, giving us your crazy ass mutated monster animals but not giving us your uranium or nice beaches.
    Fuck you with a brick that has HIV positive blood on it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:56 No.9164584
    Africa is clearly far more dangerous than Australia. Remember that story about a guy who fought and killed a Lion which attacked him with his bare hands then got killed by a pack of Hyenas? Loads of people get killed by animals in Africa, the closest you get to that sort of thing is the occasional shark attack.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:56 No.9164586
         File1271163415.png-(9 KB, 199x237, Snake - OMG.png)
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    > a jellyfish wrap itself around my balls.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:57 No.9164588
    While we're all on deathbugs and shit:

    Bug RPG, "Arthropocalypse" /tg/ was shi/t g/ets done at earlier today. /tg/ project, play as a Screming Loonie spider, jack jumping ant, bombardier beetle or as a Hercules beetle, wondering around kicking ass, taking names, conquering Australia and doing all sorts of awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:57 No.9164593
    >By dawn spiders were still marching towards the bunks and had taken over the showers
    I dont care how much beach you have.
    you are being fucking invaded by a spider army.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:57 No.9164598
    Huntsmen are awesome, sure they're huge, but they're harmless and they eat the other bugs.

    Though it was kinda freaky when we had one sitting on the back of a dinner plate, and it's legs where wrapped around the opposite sides of the plate.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:58 No.9164605
    Without Number
    >> Alpharius 04/13/10(Tue)08:58 No.9164612
    >or nice beaches.

    Wait, you don't have beaches in New Zealand? Damn, the country sounded like a really nice deal.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)08:59 No.9164623
    To see how far I can get here, really. Certainly not because of the beaches. Fuck the beaches.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:00 No.9164629
         File1271163610.jpg-(40 KB, 480x350, giant-isopod.jpg)
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    You think that's bad? These things are insects the size of a cat.

    Be glad they live in deep waters.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:00 No.9164636

    If everyone started living in the outback instead of in cities I'm pretty sure you'd start to see similar incidents.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:02 No.9164652
    "Right guys. Let's get in from the rain."
    "Er...Boss, dere's some humans in 'ere."
    "Eh, fuck 'em. Remember, they're more afraid of us than we are of them. If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. Now...oooh...Shoes. Hello new home..."
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:02 No.9164656
         File1271163758.jpg-(148 KB, 450x475, isopod_450.jpg)
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    Aww yeah, this is now a giant isopod thread
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:02 No.9164657
    Deathworld training, baby. You've done well.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164660
    >lives in New Zealand
    >is worried about spiders
    Dude, spiders would be the least of my worries in a place full of Maori warriors.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164663
    Spiders are like women, they love shoes.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164664
    Oh, they *do* have plenty of nice beaches, but they're in the middle of fucking nowhere.

    It's the same here in Tasmania, but our best beaches are up north, and are scattered with sharp rocks, quicksand and dead whales.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164671
    Giant Isopod attempt mindcontrol.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164672
    When I was a child one took up residence in my toy castle, didn't touch that thing for at least a month.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:03 No.9164674

    Well, they're alright.
    We only have like, two beaches with golden coloured sand though. And one in the capital which bought some nice sand from elsewhere.


    I daw'd.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:04 No.9164682
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:04 No.9164686
    is there a way to make napalm burn underwater?
    because we should get right on it and dump a metric fuckton of it into the ocean to kill these things.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:06 No.9164698

    Oh they're harmless.

    You give them one joint and that's it, ability to fight with anyone other than their wife and children is immediately negated.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:06 No.9164701
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:06 No.9164703
         File1271164011.jpg-(134 KB, 550x275, mobydick.jpg)
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    You know what you must do.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:07 No.9164705
         File1271164032.jpg-(64 KB, 450x754, ISOPOD.jpg)
    64 KB
    Look at the lower image and tell me that it does not OOZE malice.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:07 No.9164706
         File1271164043.jpg-(55 KB, 800x367, Kitsch.jpg)
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    Ok, we have that too (not the size, but the same proportion)... the most dangerous thing in NZ is the lack of culture.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:07 No.9164710
    Two beaches beat fuckload of beaches infested with Irukandji
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:08 No.9164718

    I thought we were still talking about spiders for a second there.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:09 No.9164725
    best thing about australia: the women.

    Spider on the roof the size of her face, not a problem
    snake in the laundry, don't worry about it, it'll leave of its own accord.

    Moth in hair... FREAK OUT!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:09 No.9164727
    Animals are smalltime. There is nothing organic that can match the sheer apathy and malevolence of ClF3

    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 04/13/10(Tue)09:09 No.9164731
    Everything is going Just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:10 No.9164732

    Aw... It's planning something sinister.

    Armok help me I can't seem to not find these things adorable.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:11 No.9164745
    In Australia you don't kill the first animal, it gets you from behind, and you pass out miniutes later.
    It works on them too. Old aussie trick, boil some MJ or some magic mushrooms, and pour the steam over a trapdoors nest. They won't attack, you, they're chilling. After a little while they get the munchies and go looking for some noms. . . easiest way to get them out of your potplants or some such inside.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:12 No.9164750
         File1271164332.jpg-(78 KB, 640x514, Giant Atlas Moth.jpg)
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    At least they don't have huge moths, like this one, don't they?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:12 No.9164753

    >reads article
    >this shit lights you on fire if it touches you
    >the burning produces ACID GAS
    >the acid gas kills you

    ...jesus christ.
    >> Alpharius 04/13/10(Tue)09:12 No.9164754

    Eh, that's perfectly fine. No beaches at all around here. Can I come over to your country and stay? It seems like a nice place.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:13 No.9164763
    ah that's a bit harsh

    irukandji are only found north of gympie, and not even australians give a shit about what's north of gympie. Not even the aussies that live there
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:13 No.9164764
    If they happen to be your mother it can be a bit of a problem.


    "Just let me get the camera!"
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:14 No.9164765

    Provided that thing doesn't have some sort of horribly, horribly malicious secret like venom or something...

    That's actually pretty fucking cool.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:15 No.9164779
    sweet jesus
    napalm and WP are smalltime compared to this shit.
    >> Alpharius 04/13/10(Tue)09:15 No.9164785

    Fuck year, CIF3. It will take things that have already been burned and BURN THEM AGAIN.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:15 No.9164788
    >Exposure of larger amounts of chlorine trifluoride, as a liquid or as a gas, ignites tissue. The hydrolysis reaction with water is violent and exposure results in a thermal burn. The product of hydrolysis is mainly hydrofluoric acid and hydrochloric acid, usually released as steam or vapor due to the highly exothermic nature of the reaction. Hydrofluoric acid is corrosive to human tissue, absorbs through skin, selectively attacks bone and stimulates pain nerves, and causes a potentially lethal poisoning. Hydrochloric acid is secondary in its danger to living organisms, but is more corrosive to most nonliving materials than hydrofluoric acid.

    Acid gas which just happens to cause pain and death and OH LOOK MORE ACID GAS. FUCK.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:16 No.9164789
    Worst thing I saw was a gang of sudanese refugees.
    Spiders and Snakes ain't got nothin' on that.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:16 No.9164791

    We get these ones. They motor along too, one gets you in the face, it's an odd feeling, like being hit by a nerf dart, then it's gone.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:17 No.9164800
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:17 No.9164805

    Cassowary hate everything. EVERYTHING

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:17 No.9164813
         File1271164674.png-(341 KB, 1000x1000, mothtits.png)
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    Holy shit, that is fucking awesome!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:19 No.9164820
    Fuck this.
    We should have just left Australia and chlorine alone.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:19 No.9164828
    Watch that with this in the background
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:21 No.9164840
    Basically stay away from any bird with a viking helmet.

    What pisses me off is that they live in dense undergrowth and you can't really see them in the wild until you're right on them,and then it's battle tiem.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:21 No.9164842
    I thought I read "Huntsman Sniper." I'd've been totally with you on that one.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:21 No.9164845
         File1271164892.jpg-(20 KB, 400x306, ugly fucker.jpg)
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    Hold on, does Australia get locusts, I forget if you do.

    God, I can handle most stuff.
    Stick insects sort of unnerve me for some reason, but other than that I'm cool with most insects. But Locusts man... Fucking locusts terrify the shit out of me.

    And I routinely find these fuckers in my shoes if I leave them outside.
    Fact you didn't want to hear: They're related to grasshoppers, they can jump.
    Can also survive freezing to death.
    Like, actually to death.
    And then come back alive.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:23 No.9164864
    >Can also survive freezing to death. Like, actually to death. And then come back alive.
    See, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to BURN THEM MOTHERFUCKERS
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:23 No.9164867

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:24 No.9164873
    Yeah we've got the largest locust swarms in record for the area at the moment. Fucking shit is going to be intense. I'm thinking we should export that shit to thailand or china. Somewhere where they eat them.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:25 No.9164885
    They basically are grass hoppers that have been rubbed on their legs a certain way. Causes a biological change that makes them go dire.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:25 No.9164887
    I hate any insect that has a tendancy to come in "swarm" or "plague" numbers.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:26 No.9164891
         File1271165168.jpg-(26 KB, 500x400, AdmitIt.jpg)
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    forgot i had this
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:26 No.9164894

    Ah, but unlike Australia, there aren't many brushfires in the vicinity that would make this method economically sound.

    But yeah, I do that sometimes.
    They make these popping noises.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:26 No.9164901
    Can't you just outrun them?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:29 No.9164930
    lmao no

    fucking velociraptors with feathers and rage
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:29 No.9164931
    Depends on the forest and how angry the bird is.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:29 No.9164932

    They can run up to 50km an hour (30 something miles an hour)

    No you can't.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:30 No.9164943
    I wish there was footage of that guy who got in a twenty minute battle with a wombat and ended up having to kill it with an axe.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:30 No.9164946
    Dey look lahk Pawns. We aren't sposed to call em dat but dats what dey look lahk.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:31 No.9164947
    What the shit? There should be a fuckton of campaigns to eradicate the motherfuckers then.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:33 No.9164968
         File1271165584.jpg-(82 KB, 500x688, worbzorbo.jpg)
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    The fuck you say bitch?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:33 No.9164969
         File1271165587.jpg-(2.66 MB, 2376x3032, Jurong_Southern_Cassowary.jpg)
    2.66 MB

    See the giant bony crest? That's basically a crash helmet so they can careen straight through small trees. That's right, THROUGH. They can also jump 1.5m.

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:33 No.9164970
    gotta love the way all of our "cute and cuddlies" have serious fuck you attitude

    koalas, wombats, roos, all of them will fuck your shit if they don't like you
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:35 No.9164988
    Cassowarys hate trees, but they live in forests. So they are ALWAYS PISSED OFF. It's like some cosmic circle of rage.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:35 No.9164992
    I had a terryfing dream that was like the long grass scene in Jurassic park but with Cassowarys instead of Velociraptors
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:35 No.9164997
    Wombats are just the tanks of IRL animals. I've seen cars come off worse for a collision with them things. . .

    And roos, you telling me a 2m big red is cuddly? Fuck that, it's like a horse mixed with a rabbit and an ogre. Kills more tourists then great whites they do. . .
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:36 No.9165000
    > twenty minute battle with a wombat and ended up having to kill it with an axe
    >a fucking wombat
    your joking right?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:36 No.9165003
    That expression SCREAMS "Reaction image"
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:36 No.9165006
    Lol no. Let me see if I can find the article.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:37 No.9165023
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:38 No.9165025

    Do not be fooled by their hamster like appearance.
    Their ass alone has enough power to crush your skull.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:38 No.9165027
    There is no /tg/ image that shows just how angry these birds get. . . NONE. Not even that one.

    Imagine if IRL every single person you met was the most infuriating troll ever, just by existing. And you lived in a dense crowded city. No matter how many you kill or whatever you can't escape and they're always everywhere. . .
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:40 No.9165042
         File1271166024.jpg-(376 KB, 850x1000, Rageeeeeee.jpg)
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    How about this one?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:40 No.9165044
    >Apparently it attacked his leg and got him to the ground and started attacking his chest, then Brucey killed the wombat and got taken to hospital in an ambulance
    it fucking tackled a man to the ground.
    jesus why do people live in this country, even your cute and cuddly animals can kill you.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:41 No.9165052
    I like how they used the cutest picture of a wombat they could find, without mange or anything.

    Stacks of wombats have mange these days, it's really sad, and a bit scary.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:45 No.9165059
    Don't they kill themselves amongst each other?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:46 No.9165061
    >"Apparently it attacked his leg and got him to the ground and started attacking his chest, then Brucey killed the wombat and got taken to hospital in an ambulance," she said.


    Credible source or they have certainly done their homework.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:46 No.9165069
    Not even close.

    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 04/13/10(Tue)09:47 No.9165072
         File1271166449.jpg-(74 KB, 433x450, red ring of doom.jpg)
    74 KB

    Chlorine trifluoride is for pussies.
    Try some dimethyl mercury on for size:

    Spill two drops of that yourself while wearing thick, protective gloves. Make them latex. Doesn't matter. It WILL soak through in seconds, it WILL be absorbed through your skin. And now you're dead.

    You may not know it for a week or two, but you've just been horribly poisoned. You will die convulsing as your brain shuts down, within a year, and there is nothing you can realistically do about it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:49 No.9165085
    >stacks of wombats

    My mind, it is fertile with the magic of imagination.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:49 No.9165089
         File1271166557.jpg-(701 KB, 2048x1536, Spider_crab_at_the_Kaiyukan_in(...).jpg)
    701 KB
    Land animals ain't shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:50 No.9165104
    And that beach has redbacks, stonefish, sea snakes, jellyfish... Try to run away and you'll find cassowaries in the bush.
    Not even Steve Irwin survived Australia.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:51 No.9165111

    Aren't they just huge, tasty and immobile once they get out of the water?
    >> Alpharius 04/13/10(Tue)09:52 No.9165122
    >Therefore, most laboratory gloves do not provide adequate protection from it, and the only safe precaution is to handle dimethylmercury while wearing highly resistant laminated gloves underneath long-cuffed neoprene or other heavy-duty gloves. A long face shield and work under a fume hood are also indicated.

    If it doesn't require a Level A suit, it's smalltime.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:52 No.9165124
         File1271166747.jpg-(8 KB, 346x161, 1259805986128.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:53 No.9165131
         File1271166811.jpg-(70 KB, 384x512, 1257948547688.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:53 No.9165134

    According to the wiki article, they have a gentle disposition. I thought that was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:54 No.9165144
    I'm trying to find the Australian desert crab, that lives inland and drinks the condensation that accumulates on it's shell, but I can't find info on it on the web.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:55 No.9165151
         File1271166923.jpg-(76 KB, 600x801, oh my goodness big snake monst(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:56 No.9165162
         File1271166988.jpg-(26 KB, 800x433, District_9_alien.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:56 No.9165164
    thats not cool man.
    >> Alpharius 04/13/10(Tue)09:56 No.9165165

    Well, if I was a huge-ass underwater spider, I'd certainly be laid-back like fuck. I mean, what's there to be afraid of?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:57 No.9165167
         File1271167021.jpg-(48 KB, 350x333, grin.jpg)
    48 KB
    >Not even Steve Irwin survived Australia.

    oh u
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:58 No.9165178
         File1271167107.jpg-(391 KB, 1354x900, 1264647628482.jpg)
    391 KB
    Look inside that hole. Each one of these wasps are as big as your thumb and kill like 70+ people a year. These mofos go around attacking normal beehives. About 100 of these kill 10,000 normal bees for lulz and then pig out on the honey and larva.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)09:59 No.9165185
         File1271167170.gif-(1.72 MB, 356x215, ohgodwhy.gif)
    1.72 MB
    >> Arakune 04/13/10(Tue)10:01 No.9165202
         File1271167262.jpg-(32 KB, 500x637, arakunearmpititches.jpg)
    32 KB

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:01 No.9165203
         File1271167265.jpg-(235 KB, 990x825, 1270795766231.jpg)
    235 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:03 No.9165216
         File1271167381.jpg-(59 KB, 400x348, flammenwerfer.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:03 No.9165219
    I have to wonder how a colony of that size sustains itself
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:04 No.9165230
    Eathing the poor children passing by.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:05 No.9165238
    The flesh of the damned
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:05 No.9165239
    Wasps are bitches. Had some caught in my chimney. Woke up one day, crawled out of bed, took a piss and came back to my bed, and discovered every surface was crawling with dead or dying European wasps. What the fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:07 No.9165250
    I'd say it's just shooped, but those spiders are really light and would require such little energy to stay alive. Or they could have recently hatched.
    Either way, it's pretty cool that there are so many of them. Like a little Spider City.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:08 No.9165259
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:10 No.9165276
         File1271167816.jpg-(27 KB, 400x250, gianthornet.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:12 No.9165293
    I like the japanese honeybees defense against that guy.
    >> Sage 04/13/10(Tue)10:21 No.9165301
    Canada Here,

    We're Big and Beautiful but minus the deadly shit.

    It generally cant survive the winter.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:22 No.9165314

    For the unelightened - they hug the Hornet to death.
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 04/13/10(Tue)10:22 No.9165319

    And yet...the hive is so beautiful...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:26 No.9165346
    >Implying there aren't spiders lurking in the footwell of your car.
    In fact, some vehicle designs just have a gaping hole under the dash, above the pedals, since it's not as if you're going to see it. It'd be a great place for predatory creatures to instinctively lurk, and the vibrations of a vehicle moving off would probably rouse and possibly even dislodge them.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:26 No.9165349
    Another fun australia fact:

    we don't have rabies in australia; we're actually quite paranoid about it reaching our shores.

    Don't know why. We already have BAT RABIES!

    More deadly than regular rabies, the only reason fewer people die (per capita of course) is that most people have the common sense to stay away from bats the size of a dog.

    Oh yeah, we have bats the size of dogs. Good sized dogs too.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:35 No.9165419
    If it's small enough that a taipan can eat it, it's not a dog.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:36 No.9165430
         File1271169409.jpg-(283 KB, 910x1229, 1240136048385.jpg)
    283 KB
    fuck yeah Germany!
    the most dangerous animals here that are remotely living near you are... well... cats and dogs.

    there is just one snake that is poisonous for humans and thats just for the old, weak and children
    no poisonous spiders here (though I've seen one that was almost as big as my palm, but that's it).
    bees, hornets and wasps could in theory kill you if you are highly allergic.
    The worst thing here is an annoying itch from a Nematocera (the not-so-large-and-evil sisters of the mosquitos)

    Fuck yeah! Civilised paradise!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:36 No.9165431
    well /tg/, it's time for my fatass to head to bed. Uni tomorrow...

    Hope this gets screencapped or archived or whatever because it's been fucking win

    /thread for me
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:39 No.9165461
         File1271169582.jpg-(30 KB, 707x399, thumbs up spider.jpg)
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    >Spider thread
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)10:43 No.9165500
    >going to a nude beach and having a jellyfish wrap itself around my balls
    If you can speak in anything but squeaks now, you possibly have the highest CON score known to man.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:08 No.9165644
    Or dwarves.

    No, wait, we'd previously established that nature's Dorfs are ants: http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/tg/thread/8752676#p8753949

    Ugh. Chemicals that can burn fucking SAND are just wrong.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:18 No.9165721
    Of course, there are similar things you can accidentally make in a school chemistry lab:
    >For those that don't know, Hydrofluoric acid is particularly nasty because it doesn't really burn the skin - it sinks through and dissolves your bones from the inside.
    >The reaction with bones is catalytic, too, so once it starts it just keeps going. If you get splashed and don't deal with it at once, the ONLY treatment is amputation at the next major joint up.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:20 No.9165737
         File1271172040.jpg-(15 KB, 305x225, implying clark.jpg)
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    do you mean Irukandji jellyfish or Irukandji aborigines?
    >> GTVA Colossus !moot/UIi/o 04/13/10(Tue)11:44 No.9165814
    >implying that Irukandji aborigines are not hundreds of jellyfish in skinbags
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:45 No.9165841
         File1271173526.jpg-(12 KB, 226x182, Rage Atrocitus face.jpg)
    12 KB
    /co/ here, trying to help out as best as I can...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:46 No.9165860
         File1271173588.jpg-(248 KB, 1281x1137, Rage Atrocitus is really pisse(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:47 No.9165882
         File1271173641.png-(119 KB, 560x421, Rage source of power.png)
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    or this one?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)11:48 No.9165899
    Needs more AM speech from I Have No Mouth.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:36 No.9166405
         File1271176602.jpg-(55 KB, 400x400, cassowarie-found-you.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:38 No.9166434
    >text not centered

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:39 No.9166439

    You'd think he'd dehydrate sometime considering he's puking that stuff literally in EVERY SINGLE PANEL.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:40 No.9166453
    Centred text would have partially obscured the crest and the reduced contrast would have made it harder to read. Just be thankful I didn't make a "demotivator" which was not actually a sarcastically subverted motivational poster.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:46 No.9166546
         File1271177207.jpg-(81 KB, 463x667, youareabouttodie.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:49 No.9166586

    "You will die next" would also have worked.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:50 No.9166603
         File1271177437.jpg-(40 KB, 350x470, cassowary_350x470.jpg)
    40 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:51 No.9166616
         File1271177497.jpg-(30 KB, 400x300, cassowary-attack-2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:54 No.9166659
         File1271177646.jpg-(20 KB, 304x382, 511218-55med.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)12:54 No.9166664
    I think the photo nicely captures the moment where man and cassowary have just become aware of each-other's presence, since that bird is /not yet/ flipping out.

    But that it will is now inevitable, because you've accidentally got right up in its face.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)13:11 No.9166950
         File1271178679.jpg-(15 KB, 340x411, ohno.jpg)
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    >Wikipedia page for cassowaries
    >Not that dangerous
    >Average injury just 1.5cm-diameter puncture wounds
    >only 1.5cm
    >Slightly smaller than a dime
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)13:32 No.9167282
    And then...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)13:34 No.9167310
    The only picture that can encompass the rage of a Cassowary is another picture of a Cassowary.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)13:38 No.9167365
    Equip can of Raid and BBQ lighter.
    Place flamer template to see if spider is in range.
    Bathe spider in purifying flames.

    let dog off leash to tank shock the spider's corpse to be sure.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)15:45 No.9168924
    I don't roll, i just throw the dice at it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)16:07 No.9169333

    Agreed. I like how our winter kills these damn poisonous fuckers and bugs.

    If I die to some wild animal, I want to be fighting a bear or moose... not fucking stun by some little poisonous fucker.

    Seriously.. you Aussies have balls to put up with that shit your continent throws at you.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)18:14 No.9171807
         File1271196877.jpg-(29 KB, 400x300, wat Raoul Duke.jpg)
    29 KB
    >Irukandji jellyfish
    >The first-known of these jellyfish, Carukia barnesi, was identified in 1964 by Dr. Jack Barnes; in order to prove it was the cause of Irukandji syndrome, he captured the tiny jelly and stung himself, his son, and a life guard.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)18:41 No.9172303
         File1271198480.jpg-(35 KB, 301x450, jew.jpg)
    35 KB
    Lies, Germany is plenty dangerous.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)19:40 No.9173329
    He's just looking for some ladies, let him find one!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)19:41 No.9173343
    This thread still going?

    Venerable Threadnought!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)21:15 No.9174956
    It's a great thread showcasing New Zealand humour.
    Polite sage for off topic post in an off topic thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)21:21 No.9175064
    Could someone archive this? I just tried but my archive-fu is weak.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)22:40 No.9176682
    roll over initiative 5, now you have a new playmate for Bioshock2
    >> Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 04/13/10(Tue)22:42 No.9176711
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)22:43 No.9176734
    rolled 1 = 1

    Cool, an Xbox controller. I play some halo.
    >> Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 04/13/10(Tue)22:43 No.9176739


    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)22:47 No.9176798
    *rolls 3 d10's*
    *zero on two of them*

    *Gives in to fear and passes out*
    >> Alpha legion 04/13/10(Tue)22:59 No.9176982
    Bulldogs by any chance?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)23:21 No.9177386
         File1271215290.jpg-(36 KB, 400x300, OSCXD-00003790-001-FB.jpg)
    36 KB
    >> Alpha legion 04/13/10(Tue)23:48 No.9177863
    >> Anonymous 04/13/10(Tue)23:50 No.9177904
         File1271217018.jpg-(41 KB, 1000x800, PacPong.jpg)
    41 KB
    Where is your God now?
    >> Alpha legion 04/13/10(Tue)23:54 No.9177966
    That looks like a weta cricket australia/newzeland have them.

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