I have written the best game ever. It so flexible it can do any setting, any power, and is perfectly balanced no matter who plays what. Superman vs Batman? Pff, try Raptor Jesus vs a quadraplegic midget.1. Take a dice. Doesn't matter what kind.2. Roll dice.3. If it's low, BAD; If it's high, GOOD.
rolled 10 = 10I attempt to grow a beard
rolled 5 = 5>>8764365You strain hard, but all you get is a goatee.I try to get into a naga's panties.
rolled 5 = 5I kill OP and steal his idea
>>8764328Actually, just normal trash. Forge trash is much more complex.
rolled 1 = 1I am cool
rolled 2 = 2pfft. you pussies and your 'random' logic.GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR GIVE ME DEATH!
rolled 26 = 26>>8764396You fit, but it is the magical belt of changing gender.*crunch*I try to be awesome!
rolled 100 = 100I attempt to give a crap. (Rollin' d100.)
rolled 466270 = 466270>>8764302
rolled 27 = 27>>8764396I didn't know nagas even had pantiesI try to crawl up someone's anus
rolled 79 = 79I light a fart on fire
rolled 4 = 4>>8764396>naga's pantiesIsn't that just a belt?I try to turn into a dumb, illiterate Awful Good-style orc woman.
>>8764439Watch Slayers sometime.
rolled 2 = 2>>8764426HAHAHAHA THIS SYSTEM IS TOO TRUE TO LIFE HUHI drink the rainbow
>>8764426OH GOD I AM SO UNCOOLTHE SHAMETHE SHAME
>>8764433HOLY SHIT CRITICAL SUCCESSYou give all the crap now
>>8764433You turn into Bono.I try to be awesome at coding.
rolled 77 = 77>>8764464...maybe I should actually roll.
>>8764433You will never need to crap again.I attempt to banish the trolls from /tg/.
rolled 6 = 6ffs
>>8764458>>8764460>>8764464>>8764481HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS, THIS IS THE BEST SYSTEM EVER!
>>8764439Sadly, it's your own and your head gets stuck.I do the chicken dance
rolled 9 = 9>>8764524Whoopsie
>>8764433Holy fuck, you not only give a crap, but indeed care TOO much. From now on, if anyone attempts to insult this idea, you must roll a d100 to see how enraged you become and act accordingly.P.S. - Newfag here, how do I roll?
rolled 13 = 13>>8764477You updated Dwarf Fortress!I try to play FATAL
rolled 9 = 9>>8764553Write dice+XdY into the email field, X= number of dice, Y equals sizeLike now I'm rollan d20 for wether I can eat lightning and crap thunder
rolled 2 = 2>/tg/ has a dice-rolling function. Simply type dice+XdY+Z or dice XdY Z (the Z is optional) into the email field to roll X dice with Y sides and add a modifier Z.
>>8764553Put "diceXdY" into the email field, with X being the number of dice, and Y being the number of faces, e.g. "dice1d10" would roll one ten-sider.
rolled 3 = 3I attempt to noko and roll dice at the same time.
1. Take a dice. Doesn't matter what kind.2. Roll dice.3. If it's low, GOOD; If it's high, BAD.Original game system. Do not steal.
rolled 3 = 3>>8764646". . ."
rolled 62 - 6 = 56>>8764606>>8764608>>8764617Also, if you want a negative modifier you'll have to put a space before it.
>>8764580You manage to read through the first thirty pages and finish almost one-tenth of character creation before you decide you're not THAT creepy, throw down the book in disgust (barely missing your big toe) and take a long shower.
>>8764695According to >>8764553......I'm okay with this.
>>8764695You dot dot dot the fuck out of that thing
rolled 6, 4, 4, 6, 3, 6, 2 = 31Rollan to see if I remember how to invisidice.>>8764723Ellipsis.
rolled 18 = 18>>8764442You grow all the fun bits but you're not green yet.I arm-wrestle Abe Lincoln.
>>8764723>>8764760It was to see how hard I was going to rage at the quoted post. (See >>8764553.)Unfortunately... no rage.
rolled 6 = 6>>8764789Lincoln is so impressed with you that he teaches you how to make a log cabin and be born in itI am become Jesus of the Second Coming.
rolled 20 = 20WE'Z LOOTIN DA EMPERWHAAGH
rolled 18 = 18>>8764847Oh noes! You are the Antichrist!
>>8764891HOLY SQUIGS, YOU JUS' STOLE DA EMPRAH'S T'RONE FROM UNDAH 'IM.DIS GIT BE GREEN WIT EN... EVUH... I'S JELUS.
rolled 12 = 12DIS SYSTEM IS DA ORKIEZTMORE DAKKA
rolled 68 = 68I attempt to stop this thread.
rolled 68 = 68>>8765068I attempt to restart it!
>>8765068>>8765139... The fuck? That's a ton of 68 there...
rolled 93 = 93>>8765068>>8765139Holy shit, what are the odds. We appear to have balanced each other out.LET THIS BE OUR FINAL BATTLE.
rolled 90 = 90>>8765068>>8765139Good gods... the ultimate showdown and it ends in a stalemate.Rolling to archive this thread.
>>8765068>>8765139what is this i don't even
>>8764508Oh, Rumia. What are you doing with that book, it's not food and you can't read.
rolled 22 = 22>>8765160HNNNNNNGGGGHHHH
rolled 7 = 7ROLLIN FOR POPCORN
>>8765775none of your corn pops
rolled 28 = 28Defibrillating this threadCLEAR
rolled 2 = 2>>8765841Oh god doctor it's not workingCLEAR! LIVE DAMN YOU
rolled 45 = 45>>8765857There's no pulse! It's flatlining! We need a miracle!
rolled 57 = 57>>8765882Someone call for a saviour?
D02 KNOW NO LIMIT
rolled 21 = 21I GIVE THE THREAD MOUTH TO MOUTH
rolled 24 = 24I tell the family what happened
rolled 48 = 48>>8765911>There's a pulse, but no response!Let me do my thing, woman.
>>8765975Even jesus has failed us ;_;
rolled 7 = 7Spend every resource we got on bringing this thread back alive.
>>8765983Doesn't he always?
rolled 22 = 22>>8765983Yo bitches, whatup.I'll own your soul if this works, y'know.
rolled 20 = 20>>8766001WHY DO YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING THAT ISN"T FOR SHEPARD?
rolled 52 = 52Good evening, Gentlemen I have invited your thread over for dinner. It was an amazing meal.
rolled 12 = 12>>8766031Stand aside, amateur.
rolled 95 = 95Ah, you try to restore this thread? You doubt my power? I have killed you once, and I can do it again!Watch, as I succeed in turning this thread into something completely irrelevant.Rolling for daw thread!
>>8766069Oh, good! The thread's fine. Sir Brian Consumptington would never do anything untoward.
>>8766074Does your heart know no mercy, fiend!?
rolled 84 = 84>>8766074TRULY I AM GOD AMONG MEN.COWER BEFORE MY UNLIMITED SUCCESSES.
rolled 87 = 87>>8766070Ah, what the hell.Rolling to resurrect Billy Mays from the dead.
rolled 72 = 72>>8766129And I shall roll to kill him again.
Simplistic crunch is for babies. I want pages upon pages telling me how to make a single skill roll.
rolled 8116 = 8116rollan d9999
rolled 89 = 89
>>8766201What Jesus, Satan and Billy Mays could not
rolled 50 = 50>>8766201Roll to see if I still hate Cultist
>>8766271Looks like I'm meh about her now I guess
irl rolled a d6 i got a 5i win
so the mods are just trolls right, too each other and everyone else?
rolled 20 = 20Rolling to see if I can leave /tg/ for the day and get some more important shit done.
>>8766329EVERYTHING YOU DO TODAY IS AWESOME
>>8766329Then leave, nobody is keeping you here.
>>8766329Right, see y'all tomorrow.Or next week or whenever.
>>8766366and nothing of value was lost.
rolled 1 = 1Rollin' to shit up dis thread
>>8766388I am impressed by your high-quality contributes to this thread.
rolled 36 = 36Rollin' rollin' rollin'...
>>8766388Best post in this thread right here, put it there pal
rolled 822 = 822Rolling to become GOD.
rolled 44 = 44i atempt to become the OPERATOR i have always wanted to be.
rolled 11 = 11>>8766388Rollin' to make a valued contribution
rolled 19 = 19I attempt to polymorph the dragon.
>>8766524Enjoy your new companion!
>>8766524Something went horribly right
rolled 2 = 2I roll to solve the division of one by zero, using Hubble's constant!
>>8766596My dreams of scientific fame are crushed :(
rolled 19 = 19rolling to go to sleep
rolled 9432 = 9432Since the OP specified that any dice is valid, and only arbitrarily defined "high", and also considering that most people got successful results at >10-15 rolls, a 1d10000 is pretty much guaranteed to be fuckwin./tg/, I roll to become the little girl.
rolled 7 = 7>>8766606..and for my exams tomorrow
>>8766606Good night, sweet prince
rolled 655 = 655>>8766596Your attempt causes a black hole, swallowing everyone and everything you've ever loved. Except /tg/
>>87666291d10000Alrighty, I see your attempt But I raise youRollan to become Magical Little girl with same memories + Personality
rolled 722598915454000257 = 722598915454000257I Am The Alpha And The Omega
Man I fucking hate powercreep
>>8764426THISTHIS IS /TG/
protip; put dice+XdY in email
rolled 158 = 158Rollan d1000I will make an epic troll thread
rolled 10 = 10Rolling to see if I can be the little monster girl.
I masturbate dogs with my teeth.
>>8766805NOT AS PLANNED!
rolled 82 = 82I roll to end my life of escapism and failure and start being useful.
rolled 15 = 15Oi'm gonna gavver me boyz and make me a proppa WAAAAAAAAAGH!!
rolled 3666 = 3666/thread
I fart the magic of Tzeentch and kill Nurgle with my magic bear hands.
>>8766917out of 4000, not bad
rolled 1 = 1GROT REBELLION!
rolled 3, 4 = 7Kung fu kitten punch of death.
>>8766938That went about as well as could be expected
rolled 1 = 1>>8766938YOUS GITS FORGOT ONE THINGI'M DA BIGGEST DAT MEANS I'M DA EL PRESIDENTELOOK AT ME STAND OVER THIS ISLAND
rolled 14 = 14>>8767146>>8767146
rolled 3 = 3>>8766938>>8767146Capitalism was here, Communism is a failureWork and make me grow fat on your produce
>>8767240Oh shit credit crunch
rolled 88 = 88Rolling to become serious and sage this thread.
>>8767263Well, that's that.
rolled 89, 44, 45, 63, 48, 13, 52, 16, 71, 9, 25, 21, 44, 20, 81, 4, 11, 97, 84, 23, 25, 78, 52, 53, 16 = 1084C'mon Jesus.....
>>8767146Sorry Presidente, but I'm gonna wreck some of your statues and kill some of your dudes. Nothin' personal.
>>8767146The island is ravaged by a hurricane and subsequently washed clean from a tsunami.
rolled 72 = 72>>8767286We have the target sir, taking the shot.
rolled 10 = 10Rolling to accidentally the entire thread.
rolled 19 = 19Rolling to fuck the mom of everyone in this thread retroactively and become everyone's dad.
rolled 6 = 6>>8767732Looks like I'm everyone's dad now.ALLRIGHT YOU LAZY KIDS STOP PLAYING SILLY GAMES AND GO GET A JOB
>>8767766/tg/ emulates real life now
>>8767766Looks like I failed to get any of you to get off your lazy asses.JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFEThis system is perfect!
rolled 40 = 40ROLLIN'TO SEE FOREVER
>>8767985It is onlyyour navel
rolled 98 = 98rolling to shit my pants
rolled 8 = 8Rollin' to de-fag the Blood Angels codex
rolled 79 = 79DO WE DINE IN HELL?
rolled 46 = 46>> 8768010OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP RIGHT NOW
rolled 20 = 20>>8768095Gettin' this man some toilet paper
>>8768222I accidentally all the TP
rolled 9 = 9I'll make many sons. I'm sure they'll be safe in their growth capsules.
sage for homebrew