Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1268689539.jpg-(65 KB, 600x500, CakeGolem.jpg)
    65 KB CAKE QUEST DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)17:45 No.8601196  
    You are a golem composed of cake batter. You are in a small, dark, cramped space. You can hear muffled sounds from outside.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:46 No.8601207
    Be delicious.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:46 No.8601208
    eat self
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:46 No.8601214
    Assume the form of a little girl.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)17:48 No.8601237
    Wouldn't that be... recursive?

    Work for a bakery. Assimilate small amounts of cake dough, eventually become more powerful, and sell delicious cake!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:48 No.8601238
    Think to myself: "It's kinda cool in here, I wish somebody would turn up the heat a bit."
    >> Lorthos, the Freshmaker 03/15/10(Mon)17:48 No.8601246
    get baked
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:49 No.8601266
    I feel like this has potential. Let's bust outta this joint.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)17:52 No.8601315

    You burst out of the top of your enclosure, and are greeted by the sight of a group of children atop a hill, which have apparently been interrupted in mid-song - They are all wearing brightly colored cones on their heads. They stare at you for a moment, speechless, then one of them screams, and they all run off in different directions.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:53 No.8601333
    You know, I don't want to say 'chase after the plumpest child and devour him to fuel our mighty cake-like form' but for some reason I can't seem to stop myself.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:53 No.8601336
    The creepy part is that in my D&D group, a golem made of cake batter has been discussed as a means of harassing a certain paladin.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:54 No.8601360
    Sing "Happy Birthday" and leave a small section of yourself for the children to enjoy!
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)17:55 No.8601368

    Gonna need a tie-breaking vote.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)17:56 No.8601396
    I still say, find a bakery and steal as much batter as possible. But for now, I feel evil. Lets eat one of the kids... and steal his hat.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)17:57 No.8601406
    OH, OH, and sing "Happy Birthday" in a muffled voice!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)17:58 No.8601436
    Oh damn, that's too evil. Now I think we should not eat him.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:01 No.8601487

    As you ooze out of the box, your vision settles on a plump little child, huffing and puffing his way down the hill. You proceed after him, gravity providing you with more than a little help, as the child trips and falls. Before he can get back on his feet, you engulf him, plucking out the hat as he thrashes weakly. Based on his size, it seems that he has eaten plenty of your kin over the course of his fat little life.

    You gurgle a rough approximation of "Happy Birthday" as you plop the hat on your head.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:04 No.8601532
    Assimilate the remains of the cake, if there is any, and then head in the direction the kids ran off to.

    I think you're going to become a "cherry" flavored cake golem soon, if you get my drift.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:05 No.8601545
    Digest child
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:06 No.8601572
    Look for wizardly place or alchemist's workshop, raid it, then head to a bakery.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:07 No.8601584
    I want to find our master and turn him into a cake. Don't care how.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:09 No.8601617

    As you return to the top of the hill, the thrashing ceases, as the digestion process begins. There appears to be nothing of value up here, just the box you popped out of - a large, colorfully-decorated vessel. Looking around, you can't see the remaining children anywhere, but there does appear to be a village to the west.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:10 No.8601637
    Are we gaining any benefit from the digestion?

    Look for an address on the box.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:10 No.8601641
    Go West

    Sing a happy song while doing so
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:12 No.8601671
    Make small cake minions
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:12 No.8601672

    The box bears no address, but does have a logo... It's a picture of a steaming pastry, with the words "Reginald's Confectionary Delights" forming a circle around it.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:13 No.8601679
    Go to town, find this Reginald
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:14 No.8601699
    I support this idea, you delicious cake based asshole.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:14 No.8601710

    And do this... >>8601584
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:14 No.8601711

    Sing the "teddy bears picnic" and replace teddy bears by cake batters.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:15 No.8601721
    If we aren't gaining any benefit from digestion, let's dump the kid in the box. Either way, we go to find Reginald.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:15 No.8601729
    No! Digestion gives us mass! We can throw around our weight better.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:16 No.8601741

    You shamble down the hill, happily gurgling songs as you descend. The countryside around you seems positively bucolic, and the little village you're approaching looks humble but industrious.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:17 No.8601749
    Alright. I think we should be on the lookout for magical supplies. What kind of cake isn't improved by delicious magical potions and reagents?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:17 No.8601764
    Can we stuff the corpse inside us with a portion of our own sentient cake form, thus animating is as some kind of cake zombie?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:18 No.8601771
    What is a cake without candles! Find planks of wood, put them into yourself and light them on fire when you can.
    >> scaredofshadows !!7tJvdfwxbH7 03/15/10(Mon)18:18 No.8601783
    Cake without candles is gluttony, anon.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:19 No.8601796
    Could you do us a favour and leave what looks to be a fun, enjoyable quest thread? It's not even you particularly, it's the shit you inevitably bring. Albeit this post falls under that, but I really just don't want this thread to die.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:20 No.8601803

    Roll a d100 for an attempt at a cake-zombie.


    There should be wooden planks in the village.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:21 No.8601815
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:21 No.8601823
    Oh god damn it Anon.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:21 No.8601824
    Wow, critical failure ! what happens ?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:22 No.8601832
         File1268691725.png-(22 KB, 249x322, tg-dice.png)
    22 KB
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:22 No.8601839

    Success! You spit out the child, and the portions of his body already digested have been replaced by cake batter. He stands still, evidently possessing no mind of his own anymore.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:23 No.8601846
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:23 No.8601848
    Wait, planks are most unelegant. We should try to make a little wax golem to put on our head.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:24 No.8601859
    That was easy.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:24 No.8601861
    Oh, low is good?

    Okay, how normal does the kid look? Can we control him?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:25 No.8601865
    >>8601815 >>8601823
    >>8601824 >>8601832


    >roll 1 on d%
    >time for Dark Heresy rules
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:25 No.8601874
    >portions of his body already digested have been replaced by cake batter.

    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:27 No.8601893

    He looks like he's covered in cake batter. He is, however, subservient to your will.


    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:27 No.8601901
    Send the kid in to town as a scout!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:28 No.8601908
    ..Fuse with little kid
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:28 No.8601922
    Chubby shota X Goo monster time ?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:29 No.8601936
    He looks like he's made of cake.

    Let's just put the kid on the road and stealthily move along beside or just behind him a little bit away.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:30 No.8601961
    Got it. Put him back in the cake box, and ship it to a random person. Have your Cake Zombie assimilate them in the name of the CAEK Golem!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:30 No.8601969

    Okay, maybe even set up a trap. Make the kid look like he's in distress. When an adult comes by, consume them. Rinse and repeat?
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:33 No.8602007

    Your chubby little minion proceeds along the path towards town, while you remain a discreet distance behind him. Looking ahead, you notice a cloud of dust in the distance growing closer.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:34 No.8602032
    Quickly re-assimilate your cake-zombie and get back in the box. Close it after yourself, and disguise yourself as a cake... with strawberry filling woven in (it's blood).
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:35 No.8602039

    ...Might be time to find another route into town.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:35 No.8602051
    I am presuming it is quite difficult to kill a cake golem except with fire. Let's just see what's going down.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:35 No.8602056

    Did you bring the box with you?
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:37 No.8602077
    I'd rather them not figure out what we are before we are ready. Might be they'll learn our 'weakness' much too early. Besides, kids these days, who's gonna believe 'em?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:38 No.8602092
    We'll just become a crusty cake golem.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:38 No.8602106

    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:38 No.8602107
    Are we far enough away that we couldn't just hastily grab it before the dust cloud comes in our direction?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:40 No.8602135
    Hide somewhere, wait till dust gets closer. Have cake-minion hide also
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:40 No.8602136
    Alright, so what are our dimensions? How big are talking here?
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:42 No.8602163

    You're too far away to retrieve it, and you didn't say that you brought it with you when you left the hilltop, so you're going to need an alternate method of avoiding detection.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:43 No.8602177

    To use a setting-inappropriate example, you're the size of a space marine.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:44 No.8602186
    Have cake zombie eat me, then wait until whatever the dust cloud is gets closer. THEN EXPLODE OUT OF CHILD IN A POSE LIKE "HATERS GONNA HATE"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:46 No.8602220
    Use our hulking space marine status to destroy the oncoming villagers!
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:48 No.8602241
    We came out of a cake box, and we're the size of a space marine?

    Okay, I guess. Can we change our color? If so, become a human. Pass off the zombie as us, let the villagers beat it to death. If it doesn't die, so much the better for us later.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:49 No.8602260

    Roll a d100 to attempt to shapeshift.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:50 No.8602273
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:50 No.8602276
    Am I worth 2k monies?
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)18:53 No.8602308
    rolled 69 = 69

    O mighty Dice Gods, bless my roll this day!
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)18:55 No.8602331

    Failure. You manage to change your flavor to lemon, but little else.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:57 No.8602359
    So what are we gonna do about the approaching mob? Why don't we just consume them all.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)18:59 No.8602387
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:00 No.8602403
    I say lets flatten ourselves out into a puddle and let them walk on us then we engulf em.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:00 No.8602406
    We stay as hidden as we can and walk the zombie towards those incoming. If we get the chance, we attack while they are distracted. When we attack, sing a little song that goes like this:

    "This was a triumph..."
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:02 No.8602431
    Awaiting consensus on how you plan to bring the source of the dust low.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)19:02 No.8602437
    I guess we have to do this. Use the zombie as Shmuck bait.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:03 No.8602442
    Puddle idea sounds good. Is there a ditch at the side of the road or other hollow we can soup up in in? Keep the zombie on the road, and see how they react. Ideally situate him so we can attack from ditch/hollow at their rear.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:05 No.8602461
    Could we hide inside the box, and get the cake zombie to carry us somewhere safe?
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/15/10(Mon)19:05 No.8602472
    Already went over that, we can't. We're too far away.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:06 No.8602476
         File1268694364.png-(22 KB, 600x600, Yay Cake!.png)
    22 KB
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:08 No.8602511

    You flatten yourself out inside a pothole in the road, and wait. As the dust cloud draws nearer, you can make out voices. Eventually, they come within view, and you see a caravan of oxen-pulled carts, driven by short, squat, bearded humanoids.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:08 No.8602519
    Just wondering, where is our magic scroll kept?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:09 No.8602524
    Dwarves don't have magic, usually, but may have fire. Dwarf cake servitors will be badass. We shall attack when the opportunity presents itself, and not before.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:11 No.8602554
    Strike the dough!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:12 No.8602565
    are we sticky? can we stick ourselves to the underside of the cart as it goes over then tell our zombie to pop out and attempt to kill the dwarves?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:13 No.8602584
    This is the best post on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:13 No.8602596
    How can we attack? Maybe we could block the wheels with our mass, preventing an escape, then we take over the bodies of the dwarves and oxen?
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:14 No.8602602

    This is indeed a viable course of action, although I'm not clear on what exactly you're planning on doing with your pudgy minion.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:14 No.8602603
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:15 No.8602616
    Just see how they react to it. Have it block the road.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:20 No.8602675

    Your cake-zombie walks out into the center of the road, causing the leading cart to halt.

    "Hey! Kid! Get outta the way, we've got a schedule to keep!" The dwarf in the front wagon yells. When the child fails to respond, the dwarf, grumbling something about humans, dismounts from the wagon and walks up to him. He says something to him, repeatedly, before getting fed up and shoving the kid to the side. The child falls to the ground, and as he does, the batter covering his head falls off, revealing his lack of flesh. The dwarf gapes at him for a second, and then hurries back to the wagon, muttering "Oh shit" over and over. He hops back into the driver's seat, and urges the oxen into motion, as the caravan gradually resumes movement down the road.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:21 No.8602687
    Stop the cart! Block the wheels with our mass.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:22 No.8602702
    Well, during that we should have grappled onto the bottom of one of the carts.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:23 No.8602716
    Yeah, at worst, follow it at a distance until night falls
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:24 No.8602725
    Yeah. NOW is the time to stick to the undercarraige as it goes. Even if we can't kill the dwarves yet, its STILL a free ride to ADVENTURE.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:26 No.8602761

    Having latched on to the bottom of one of the carts, you remain still for the rest of the day, as the dwarves' caravan progresses through the pastoral countryside, and begins to make its way through a dense forest, and then up through a mountain pass. Finally, after several hours, the caravan stops in a dip between mountains, and the dwarves dismount, busily setting up camp.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:27 No.8602779
    Now is not the time to act, wait until they are dormant, then, to action!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:28 No.8602793
    Agreed, wait until they sleep. Are we still able to give the cake zombie mental commands? Tell it to either hide in the woods or follow to our position
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:29 No.8602812
    Wait until enough fall asleep then silently engulf and suffocate/digest
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:31 No.8602852

    Your cake-zombie is far to distant to give commands to now.

    As you cling to the bottom of a cart, waiting for the dwarves to sleep, the dwarf in the head wagon and one of his fellows set up a fire nearby. You can hear them talking about "delivering the ransom in time".
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:33 No.8602887
    Listen a while.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:36 No.8602929

    From what you're able to gather, the dwarves have been commissioned to deliver a ransom to a kobold necromancer that has taken stolen a powerful relic weapon from a nearby kingdom.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:37 No.8602955
    Hmm.. So after we kill the dwarves lets go visit this necromancer, perhaps he could teach us a thing or two.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:39 No.8603002
    No don't kill the Dwarves! They will get hair in your batter, and you need them to drive the carts.

    Just hitch a ride with them and take the Necromancer's artifact for your own.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:41 No.8603029
    Want to just talk to the dwarves?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:43 No.8603047
    Gurgle a greeting to the Dwarves

    compliment them on their beards or something.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:43 No.8603056
    Detach ourselves from the cart first though.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:43 No.8603061
    Yes, this. Dwarfs don't have cake. Only booze.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:44 No.8603067

    So you want to reveal yourselves?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:44 No.8603068
    Alright... I suppose we can save killing for later. It WOULD help to know what the hells going on in the world around us. But, will they be able to understand us?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:44 No.8603075
    why don't we possess the Dwarves and continue on their journey
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:45 No.8603090
    We detach ourselves from the cart. If unseen, approach from a new direction by circling round, so it looks like we just come upon the camp.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:45 No.8603092
    we wait until they are asleep and possess them
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:45 No.8603093
    Because Cake zombies aren't particularly effective or necessary.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:46 No.8603098
    Man, possessed dwarves might make cool shit, but they don't get any experience for it.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:47 No.8603108
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:47 No.8603112
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:48 No.8603139
    So are you going to attack the dwarves, talk to them, or just continue to hitch a ride?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:49 No.8603151
    Talk to them, if possible make it look like we weren't hitching a ride in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:50 No.8603165
    I vote for talk.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:51 No.8603183
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:52 No.8603189

    You drop down from beneath the cart, and ooze around the camp to the other side, where you resolidify in the darkness. How do you wish to approach the camp?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:52 No.8603190
    Talk to Dwarves
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:52 No.8603201
    Gurgle more happy songs and greet dwarves in a friendly way
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:53 No.8603215
    While in the shadows, gurgle out Happy birthday. Move and do the same again, then enter the camp.
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)19:53 No.8603220
    Talk to the dwarves!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:54 No.8603230
    Pretend to be a lost wounded creature just looking for food and friendship.
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)19:54 No.8603232
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:55 No.8603237

    Voting on this.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:56 No.8603254

    You begin to gurgle "Happy Birthday", and when the nearest dwarves turn to look in your direction in confusion, you stop, plod around the outskirts of the camp a bit, and then do the same thing from a new angle. With all eyes turned in your direction, you enter the campsite, lit up by the firelight. Instantly, the dwarves draw their weapons, looking at you tensely.
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)19:57 No.8603274
    present ourselves in the fashion of a texan businessman
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:57 No.8603275
    Say "Howdy-ho neighborinos!"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:57 No.8603279
    I vote for RIP AND TEAR
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)19:58 No.8603285
    Mimic the dwarven form to show our temporarily friendly intentions.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:58 No.8603293
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:58 No.8603296
    Say "Friend" as clearly as possible.
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)19:58 No.8603297
    Show passiveness(is that even a word?) step back and bow
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)19:59 No.8603304
    Yeah or some sorta form that won't be threatening to them. Whatever, I just hope they don't beat our asses too much.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)19:59 No.8603309

    Roll for whichever one you want to do.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:00 No.8603323
    Wonder if I'm jewish
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:01 No.8603340
    Show non threateningness
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:01 No.8603342
    rolled 8 = 8

    Rolling to say "Friend"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:02 No.8603357
    Oh shit. Is low good or bad?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:02 No.8603360
    Low is good.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:04 No.8603380

    You manage to articulate the word "Friend", and the dwarves relax slightly. The leader gets up from the fire, and walks towards you until he's about two meters away. Looking up at you, he asks gruffly, "Well, what d'you want?"
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:05 No.8603394
    Um.....what DO we want?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:05 No.8603397
    Well that's a pretty good question. What do we want? We've only been alive for a few hours so far.

    Just shrug
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:05 No.8603412
    We want to acquire currency and bitches.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:06 No.8603415
    Moar caek?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:06 No.8603421
    Now this is a quest I can sink my teeth into.
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:06 No.8603426
    I actually like this idea. Let's see what they do in response.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:06 No.8603428
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:07 No.8603445
    rolled 74 = 74

    Rolling for dwarf form change... if I fail can we atleast become beer flavored?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:07 No.8603448
    rolled 67 = 67

    We just want to have a beard of our own someday.

    I attempt to grow a cake-beard.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:08 No.8603466
    >Become beer flavoured
    >Around mercenary dwarves

    Why do you think this is a good idea?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:08 No.8603469
    rolled 28 = 28

    Rolling to look Friendlier and little less melty.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:09 No.8603472

    Failure on both fronts.


    You shrug, and the leader looks at you curiously. "Well, what are you doing here, then?"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:10 No.8603482
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:10 No.8603492
    Slough a bit of self onto a plate, offer to leader.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:10 No.8603494
    Shrug, then go wander off to a tree and uproot it with our golem strength.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:10 No.8603498
    rolled 18 = 18

    Sing Happy birthday again

    It's your birthday after all.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:11 No.8603508
    rolled 90 = 90

    Rolling for that.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:11 No.8603511
    thus becoming the Rumcake golem
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:12 No.8603526
    rolled 13 = 13

    "Thirsty" (DRINK SOME BEERS)
    (also opps deleted post to put in roll)
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)20:12 No.8603527
    "you, friend?"
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:12 No.8603530
    Awaiting a consensus on your response to the leader.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:13 No.8603544
    If we are made of cake batter, then arnt we more of a "cake ooze"?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:13 No.8603545
    The happy birthday.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:13 No.8603546
    This reminds me of the time I had my players fight a vanilla Ice cream golem
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:14 No.8603565
    I say go with >>8603498
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:14 No.8603571
    Yeah, singing
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:16 No.8603596
    We just need to find a Baker to get us finished up so we can be a Cake Golem.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:16 No.8603603

    You begin to gurgle out your birthday ballad, and the leader raises an eyebrow, as the rest of the dwarves gradually lower their weapons, chuckling.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:17 No.8603622
    "Pre...gurgle..sents? Gifts?"
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:18 No.8603640
    Yes! They're lowering their guard. And when they fall asleep......
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:19 No.8603649
    rolled 89 = 89

    Eh, if we're going with the birthday route, might as well milk it for what its worth.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:20 No.8603675
    Can't we just...y'know...talk. about. our FEELINGS?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:21 No.8603679
    I think we should try and work for these dwarves. If they don't give us presents, mime lifting up things (or actually lift up a cart, we must be pretty strong being a golem) and receiving payment. If we get in with them not only do we have a bit of backup, but we can decide at a later date whether to minionise them or double-cross them on this relic mission.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:22 No.8603689
    rolled 76 = 76

    Rolling to kill ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS.

    Their weapons cannot harm my gelatinous body.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:22 No.8603692
         File1268698931.jpg-(500 KB, 976x1400, cake1.jpg)
    500 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:22 No.8603698
         File1268698967.jpg-(432 KB, 976x1400, cake2.jpg)
    432 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:23 No.8603704
    Fuck off, we're not doing that yet.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:23 No.8603711
    rolled 59 = 59

    hmm since my saying presents roll apparently failed... rolling to somehow show them we can be helpful carrying things.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:23 No.8603712
         File1268699006.jpg-(449 KB, 976x1400, cake3.jpg)
    449 KB
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:23 No.8603714
    The dwarf leader sighs, looking up at you. "Well, I suppose you can stick around if you want, so long as you keep your nose clean. We can't feed you, but it looks like you shouldn't have a problem with food anyway." He turns and heads back to his fire, while a number of the other dwarves resume their tasks, keeping an eye on you.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:24 No.8603724
         File1268699040.jpg-(440 KB, 976x1400, cake4.jpg)
    440 KB
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)20:24 No.8603731
    im seconding this, try and say "work!"
    and show off our strength by lifting something or smashing something
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:24 No.8603735
         File1268699078.jpg-(487 KB, 976x1400, cake5.jpg)
    487 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:24 No.8603736
    Right, mime asking if we can do any work. Stuff dwarves understand, like miming mining, or lifting, or driving the oxen. If he gets it, put a hand out and mime receiving payment.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:25 No.8603744
         File1268699118.jpg-(397 KB, 976x1400, cake6.jpg)
    397 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:25 No.8603752
         File1268699151.jpg-(499 KB, 976x1400, cake7.jpg)
    499 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:26 No.8603767
         File1268699188.jpg-(535 KB, 976x1400, cake8.jpg)
    535 KB
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:27 No.8603782
    Let's just chill out until the dwarves start moving on again. Maybe engulf some squirrels or something.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:27 No.8603783
         File1268699232.jpg-(457 KB, 976x1400, cake9.jpg)
    457 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:27 No.8603785
         File1268699236.jpg-(64 KB, 244x244, buffed_red_demoman.jpg)
    64 KB
    >you can bake all you want IN HELL
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:27 No.8603794
         File1268699271.jpg-(419 KB, 976x1400, cake10.jpg)
    419 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:28 No.8603805
    >dead cats

    Who writes this?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:28 No.8603812
         File1268699319.jpg-(467 KB, 976x1400, cake11.jpg)
    467 KB
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:28 No.8603820

    Do you want to try to gain employment, or simply hang out in camp?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:29 No.8603823
    >Hey guys, I'm just going to kill the thread by spamming porn, okay?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:29 No.8603827
         File1268699357.jpg-(408 KB, 976x1400, cake12.jpg)
    408 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:29 No.8603840
    rolled 50 = 50

    My vote is employment.
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)20:30 No.8603849
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:30 No.8603853
    if you bothered to read the comics you would know it's a complex story about cake thievery, completely relevant to this thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:30 No.8603854
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:30 No.8603859
    If they've got anything to do, we'll do it. Gain their trust and whatnot. Rolling to gurgle "Work?"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:31 No.8603878
    >food network

    what the shit


    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:31 No.8603882
    We arent here for some shitty comic about cakes, we're here for a cake golem
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:33 No.8603923

    You manage to enunciate the word "Work?", and the head dwarf turns around, and looks over at you. "Oh? And what is it that you do, cake-man?"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:35 No.8603951
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:36 No.8603968
    rolled 38 = 38

    Mime doing different work like >>8603736 said.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:37 No.8603988

    You lift up one of the carts, and he runs over anxiously. "Put it down, you giant pastry!" As you lower it back down, he looks up at you appraisingly. "So, you're strong... Well, I'm sure we can find you something to do. Don't really have anything to pay you with, though."
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:38 No.8603993


    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:38 No.8603998
    dice 1d100

    Uproot a nearby tree.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:38 No.8604001
    rolled 86 = 86

    Frown at him with great intensity and scrutiny. I am sensing his motive.
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:39 No.8604007
    (apparently I have been misinformed on how the die roller works)
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:39 No.8604016
    rolled 92 = 92

    It goes in the email field.
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:39 No.8604022

    He seems to be trying to think of a task for you.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:44 No.8604091
    Flex menacingly, sing 'Happy Birthday' angrily. We are a weapon of war!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:44 No.8604106
    >> DeliciousCake !80ZdpaInQg 03/15/10(Mon)20:46 No.8604130
    Thread seems to be autosaging, I'm going to archive it, and see about a continuation.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)20:50 No.8604173
    Guys, guys, we need to make the dwarves believe that we are just come dumb strong cake golem, play dumb and when they least expect it fuck them over.oh and the only candle for cake golem is one for his cock, and it has to be lit
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:52 No.8604193
    Ah, thank you.
    >> stimpy !!ciMQ2USqck2 03/15/10(Mon)20:54 No.8604216
    here's a goal im suggesting we set ourselves
    Acquire a Tophat and Monocle.
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)20:55 No.8604227
    rolled 40 = 40

    "Gurgle.....GIFT." Let's try and impress upon them our desire to commemorate our first day of life.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:02 No.8604298
    >> The Grumpy Anon 03/15/10(Mon)21:14 No.8604418
    Don't die on me, Cake Golem.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:18 No.8604446
    Looks like cake golem is dead... for today.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:19 No.8604455
    It was kind of a good end, you know? It's like, the dwarves like us, they have hired us but we don't know what for. For our cake golem, the future is infinite.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:33 No.8604581
    Until he molds... or ants.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:34 No.8604596
    >> Anonymous 03/15/10(Mon)21:40 No.8604671

    I'm fairly sure this isn't the end of the quest, just the end of the first part.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]