>Hello, I'm Liar Darkfalse, I'm here to interview for the position of Grand Vizier
>>76386969with a resume like that you will fit right in. You're hired.
Ah Liar Darkfalse, good to meet you, I'm King Naivenor Nobleheart, my uncle Kinslay Evilman speaks highly of you
Court wizard in my campaign was called Zod Darklander. He betrayed the king eventually.
>>76386969You get the job if you kill the current grand vizier.
>And I'm Lord Sauronman, master of a black spiked tower, I'll lead us to fight the dark lord
>>76386969I'm not sure, I will need to consult captain Dethmurderbludgeon and senator Rapestab Mcgenocide.
>Greetings, I'm Retard Braindead and I've come to fuck everything up because I'm an angry baby.
>>76387053The young prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed seems cautious, though...
>>76386969HELLO, BE NOT AFRAID, I AM BUT A HUMBLE GARDENER, HERE TO TEND TO THIS GARDEN. MY NAME IS זעם האל , BUT YOU CAN CALL ME KYLE.
>>76386969Of course, of course. Come on in Mr. Darkfalse. This is all a formality, of course - after all, you were a close brother in arms of my father; though I see your exile did not treat you kindly. Unsurprising, though, given how desperate my uncle wanted you out of my court; what with you being the expected regent and all. I do wish I'd had way to reach you, you'd have been been quite helpful in dismantling his conspiracies. His execution is tomorrow - found guilty of treason, fratricide, regicide and attempted regicide.But, that's enough of the unpleasant business. Tell me, what HAVE you been up to in your time away from the royal court?
>>76386969>What's that? You're looking for a new spymaster too?>Allow me to introduce my friend, Teacherious Topplethrone.
>>76387223Teleri hands typed this post
>>76387074>grand vizierCan I just be the a regular vizier and not kill anyone?
>>76387348Sure, but I'll have you know the grand vizier killed the last vizier, and the two before that guy as well.
Hello, my name is Hiro Protagonist, I am here to bring very troubling news of the plague in the southern provinces. Will anyone hear me out?
>>76387232Ignore him, he's simply still upset that his best friend, Natrili Daed, is died by falling into a river at the bottom of a very small ravine.
>>76387232Oh don't mind him, he's always like that when not training with Loyalman Swordmaster, speaking of whom, I would like you to meet his brother, Takebribe Swordmaster, he's in charge of castle security
>>76386969As 𝖆 norm𝖆l wiz𝖆rd, I w𝖊lcom𝖊 your 𝖆pplic𝖆tion to join our h𝖆ppy community.
>>76387242Look, I understand that you tend to orchards of man and all that, but I was looking for a literal groundskeeper, and I'd prefer for my estate to not get destroyed when some prick tries to cop a handful of that divine elegance.
>>76386969Greeting, my dear. I am Delilah Darkblood, respected and trusted member of the royal court. May i say, you look quite delicious today.
>>76386969Hello, master Darkfalse, as Queen Consort Impostera Demonmask, I welcome you to our court.
I feel like we could make a setting out of this.>King Naivenor Nobleheart>Nobleheart's uncle Kinslay Evilman >Crown Prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed>His mentors Loyalman Swordmaster and Takebribe Swordmaster>Queen Consort Impostera Demonmask>Grand Vizier Evilman Sorcerous>New spymaster Teacherious Topplethrone.>Noblewoman Delilah Darkblood>Potential new vizier Liar Darkfalse>Wandering adventurer Hiro Protagonist
>Hoho! It is I, Jollybuff Oldmentor, and I've taught you everything I know, young adventurer. I am the closest thing you have to a father, so surely my death will be very sa-
>>76387773Don't forget the HUMBLE and ABSOLUTELY NORMAL gardener wrathofthelord Heavenly who offers the wizened advice of a totally normal old man.
/tg/ is fucking dead when /fit/ memes harder that you in your own field.
>>76387773>Kinslay Evilman>Evilman SorcerousAre these guys related, or is Evilman both a common name and surname?
>>76387855And everyone ignores him because who would listen to a gardener for advice?>>76387773I honestly think its good enough for a lighthearted adventure at most
>>76387906One is a name other is a surname, duh
MY KING! MY KING! THE DUCHY OF IERELVANT HAS BEEN RAIDED BY THE DASTARDLY JARL NOBILE SAVIGE! HE HAS SENT OUTRIDERS FORTH, ASKING FOR PARLEY, AND HE WARNS OF TREACHERY FROM YOUR UNCLE KINSLAY EVILMAN!
>>76387906Evilman is the name of the dark duchy kinslay was born in, thus making him kinslay evilman, like henry IV was henry bolingbrokeEvilman sorcerous is simply a peasant named after the duchy, as is custom in those lands
>>76387915Of course, he is but a totally normal and humble gardener, who just happens to show up when the hero need guidance.>>76387868Are you fucking autistic? these are completely different threads
>>76386969Sorry but we already have one and are pretty happy with hil.
>>76387979As your grand vizier my lord, I believe this is nothing but a deception. Why would we listen to the words of a raider? Especially when your uncle Evilman is a upstanding man of great character who values you greatly as kin.
>>76386969Well you look trustworthy, Welcome aboard!
>>76386969Do you have your own pointy hat?
>>76387868It's well know that on 4chan the best board to talk about a subject is never the board dedicated to the subject.
>>76387773>Black Mage Evilwizardington>Fighter McWarrior>Red Mage Statscowski>Thief
>>76388272>two mages>no priest/clericHiro Protagonist's party needs some adjustments
>>76388213THERE COULD BE NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Somebody go and fetch Princess Lova Intereste from her tower to come and welcome the new Grand Vizier! She spends far too much time pining in her chambers.
>>76387823Ah Backstab Throwaway, good to see you back! How's Jollybuff? And I also see you ran into some bandits with those bloody hands you got
>>76387868But its full of /fit/ memes so its boring
>>76387348>>76387374Also there is a whole class of viziers killing each other for nominally higher posts. Being the grand vizier's second in command is the most dangerous job in the kingdom. The smart thing for the academically unambitious is to find a clerical viziership nobody wants to do, like Vizier of Civic Waste Management. And even then watch your back, because jobs like that are the only social mobility available for your average literate peasant.
>>76387773how should you call the setting? Adventures in the Land of Transparentia
>>76387773Don't forget general Stern Dutybound, brave hero and veteran who will carry out the commands of his malicious superiors, even if they conflict with his personal sense of honour. I'm also not seeing, Princess Thirstina Tomboy, daughter of the kings late wife who clashes with Impostera Demonmask, chafes as the strictures of court life and longs for adventure and has convinced General Stern Dutybound to train her.
>>76387375Not so fast, Hiro! I am Rye Vall, and I have an unhealthy obsession with defeating you. We are going to fight each other until a mutual threat appears and we're forced by circumstance to team up.
>>76387773>it turns out King Naivenor Nobleheart was actually the legendary lost Great King Genresavvy and was merely gathering the evildoers together to crush them
>>76390429Ah Thirstina, why can't she be like Lova? Ah well, at least she isn't a peasant like that farmhand Lostson Futureking
>>76388214>tfw you stop the bad guy from launching a cybernuke but he still fucks the qt female character and she orgasms immediately on penetrationWho was the real winner there, I ask?
>>76390505>gathers all the evildoers which include a evil mage and a demon>unwittingly gets outplayed and possessed by Ancientir Greatevil
>>76387868You actually see threads exactly like this one on /tv/ pretty often too. Not as detailed on common fantasy characters but they definitely mock Grima and Saruman.
>>76388272The party needs a bard. I know the very gal! She's Jodele O'Howdoweshutherup and I have no doubt that her contribution to the team will be valued.
Can we expect Twink von Token of Ethni City to attend?
>>76390429>Don't forget general Stern DutyboundWay better than general Ripper von Killmonger, that guy is nuts.
My name is Cummy Bumpkin, I'm here to work the fields.
>>76386969Hey, uh, I'm Freedom Fuckslaves and I guess I'll just keep moving forward.
>>76386969>Liar DarkfalseLove it, this is my next NPC.
>>76387906Kinslay Evilman was actually born Kinslay Evilmanson, but he shortened his last name to be more fashionable.
>>76386969ah, well very good sir. just have a seat over there with the others. i believe liar dicksucker is next, follwed by scheming yesman, and liar douchbag. but not to worry, the king has been moving through the interviews quickly. though i must say, he has not been fond of anybody too deceitful, and does believe honesty is a "best" policy, except for him, of course.
anyone archive this thread?
>>76386969Hello, this is General Lee Incompetant
>>76387165That senator is a credit to the whole human race.
>>76386969Reminds me of the time I answered the “What’s your greatest weakness?” Question with “I’m a pathological liar.”
Plot twist: A period of prosperity begins because sketchy advisor is murdering enemy nobles, scheming nobles, cultists, etc that the good-aligned king can't move against.
>>76393798>He doesn’t overthrow the king becuse he has as much influence as the king, lives in as much luxury, and isn’t the target of a hundred assassination plots
>>76387855So Normall Oldmen?
>>76393830"Why didn't you ever run for office?""I like getting shit done. And I like to keep my head attached to my neck."
>>76393830Some men are kings men. Just because someone has influence doesn't mean they can effectively leverage it to usurp the rightful ruler, especially a good one.
Hey guys, whats happening in this thread?
HAVE NO FEAR, HAVE NO FEAR! ZIGZAG THE GRAND VIZIER IS HERE!
>>76388394>>76390429>>76390523but>>76387567So what happened to Queen Lostlove, belowed by all denizens of Transparentia?
>>76387348You can but when the Grand Vizier approaches you and asks you what your intentions are you have to say "I only want to be a minor government functionary and make a modest salary, and nothing more" and not only had you better damn well mean it, but you'd better be able to fight off the assassin that will attack you within the next few hours.After that you can do what you want, as long as what you want is to do nothing at all.
Expecting a long and prosperous reign for King Naivenor with such a prosperous Court!>>76387773>>76387915>lighthearted adventuremostly this. Fun for some sessions but not too lengthy
>>76386969>Sire, as master of the royal treasury, I, the grand Groß Incorpulence, suggest that you quickly stamp your seal open these documents before taking Liar Darkfalse as your Vizier
>>76393396>>76387979>>76388137General Lee! Such a trusted servant of this Kingdom is the best person to send to deal with this insidious raider and the crazy accusations! Surely his military campaign will be decisive and swift! Just remember to avoid the swamps of Darkmud O'Fuksomanyinseks!
>>76387053HA-HA!I, TRAJ ICBACKS-TORY, HAVE BROKEN FREE FROM MY IMPRISONMENT, AND I HAVE RETURNED TO BRING UNTOLD MISERY AND DESPAIR UPON YOUR LANDS KING NOBLEHEART!UNLESS SOMEONE AQUIRES THE SWORD OF DESTINY AND DEFEATS ME AT MOUNT ‘CLIMB-AXE’ WITHIN TWO MONTHS, THEN I SHALL SACRIFICE PRINCESS LOVA INTRESTE TO AWAKEN ANCIENTIR GREATEVIL, AND AT LAST, I SHALL FINALLY GAVE MY VENGEANCE!
Hi Anon, I bake you a Pie and helped your kids with math. Now apologies, Im on my way to help with the charity garage sale to rebuild burnt orphanage.
>>76394285Can anyone in the court even be trusted?
>>76394799The kingdom is standing only because all the courtiers are scheming against eachother but they all are trying to hire the only bandit of the country, poor Backstab >>76388472
I'm Dr. Hell, renowned scientist and robotics genius four peace and science.
>>76387773Of course you could, this is every setting
>>76394015Probably killed off by the machinations of Lord Sauronman, Senator Rapestab Mcgenocide, Delilah Darkblood, or Duke Kinslay Evilman so Impostera Demonmask could seduce King Naivenor Nobleheart and prepare for the coming of Ancientir Greatevil.
> I'm glad that you invited me, Cormic R'Elief, to play at your feast! Nothing ridiculous will definitely happen to me!
>>76386969>My lord, the Admiral Ahab Whalestalker requests an audience claiming that sea beasts are harassing our ports.
>>76394285So how many different evil factions are there in Transparentia? Or do the bad guys all work for Ancientir Greatevil?
>>76394799It won't be long until a young farmgirl by the name of Jeanne la Pariah tries to get people to realize a terrible truth only to be sent off to fight in Ripper von Killmonger's army.
>>76394285Ah, good old Rapestub Mcgenocide! I haven't heard of him in a while. It's good to see him again. >>76394799 He is an upstanding man, and a paragon of the court.
>>76394015Perished in tragic and mysterious circumstances along with her loyal knight Ser Nefarious Secretlover
>FOOLISH MORTALS! I, DOOMCLAW BLACKWING THE DESTROYER HAVE COME FROM MY LAIR IN MOUNT LAVAFIRE TO RAVAGE AND DESTROY THE LAND! ALL TREASURES OF THE GREEDGOLD LONGBEARD DWARFES ARE MINE!
>>76394911There's at least four, evil cultists, an internal plot, a vampire conspiracy, and the oganized criminal group lead by Don Ragazzio in Carica and his second in command Giovanni Sotto Copertura
>>76394799The big twist is that everyone in the court can be trusted and whole adventure is really a string of coincidences and accidents
>>76395089Yes. Even the vampire and the lich who are indeed a vampire and a lich can be completely trusted.
>>76395074Oh no, the greedgold corruptedbeard dwarf splinter faction have sided with the dreaded Doomclaw Blackwing the Destroyer.
>>76394285These names need to be edited for consistency. I'm getting a migraine from all the different naming styles.
>>76394383Master Traj Icbacks-Tory, I, Ratservant Plaguemage have done as you've instructed. I have unleashed a magical plague that now spreads throughout the south, awakened Doomclaw Blackwing, kidnapped Princess Lova Intreste, and manipulated General Ripper Von Killmonger to attack Jarl Nobile Savige's people. I await your further orders.
>>76395182>>76395193Oh god there's two of them
I, Honorsson Noblesavage from the lands of Evercold have come to the lands of metalclad men. Here, i will prove myself to to Worth, god of Trials and Strength!
>>76386969"Mr. Chancellor, I'm General Grievous. And these are my lieutenant: "Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm a Bad Guy, and Admiral Bone to Pick"
>>76387567My dark mistress, your humble servant Fallenpriest Holyman is present. The corruption of the Holy Faith Order is complete, although Goodpriest Holywoman escaped our purge somehow. The only thing left in her room was a gardening rake. With the Faith's gold, we now have Takebribe Swordmaster, Royal Treasurer Shlomo Goldberg Shekelstein, and Don Ragazzio in our pockets, although their long term loyalties are questionable we believe they will play their parts.
>>76394015Most unfortunate news, friend - the auburn locks of our fair Queen will no longer grace the realm, as she and her entourage disappeared during a raid by Aggresiveton soldiers on our border towns. The Grand Vizier is distraught to be the bearer of bad news to the king, especially because nothing remained of her or her entourage to bury. On an unrelated note, there are reports that a vigilante army has driven off multiple Conquerlandia incursions, led by the auburn-haired Lady "Not Queen Lostlove" Rebelmonarch.
>>76394285>Fun for some sessions but not too lengthyYeah it could be like those pre-written adventures that no one uses
>>76387323Fucking bitch-ass ship niggas. Can't even make steel. All they care about is sail sea, sing songs and be retarded.
>>76394285take 2>>76395159oh true>>76394140>>76394303Shlomo < Groß Incorpulence methinks>>76394365 >>76395193>Dear Grand Vizier, I think that given the gross casualties of General Lees mission, Crown Prince Goodfellow should join the troops of General Killmonger to increase morale. Please make preparations for his long trip to Duchy of Ierelvant.
>>76395202Where you see one, there's a hundred; I, Witchfinder Paingiver Takanarmoffa will thoroughly investigate the source of these suspicious interlopers- and their sympathizers....I require only your remit. Stamp here, for God's justice!
>>76387773>forgetting about the senator Rapestab McGenocide and the captain Deathmurderbludgeon
>>76395667Maybe Shlomo and Groß are both treasurers, we already have an army of viziers who follow the Evilman Sorcerous and Liar Darkfalse around, so its obvious that Transparentia sees nothing wrong with a bit of inter-departmental rivalry
>>76395667You missed the mafia headed by Don Ragazzio in Carica and his second in command Giovanni Sotto Copertura, who are loosely aligned with the the vigilante lady "Not queen lostlove" rebelmonarch of Aggressivestone.
>>76395680Of course they forgot them, the two are clearly running the show. After all, it was they who actually OKd the selection of Grand Vizier Darkfalse. Senator McGenocide is controlling everything in the Court by creating such a mess that he, as a good fellow, is needed as a moderator. Deathmurderbludgeon in turn controls the army due whispering into the ear of von Killmonger.
>>76395667I see that these people have taken lessons from the Great sage Onthenose in his treatise "A treatise on proper naming by Sage Onthenose"
>>76395725Of course Senator McGenocide only makes these problems to help people improve. Even when he's causing trouble his intentions are always to help people grow as a person. What a guy!
I'm Holdgrudge Fuckelves and I want my goddamn lands back, since they're mine by rights. That and my father's magical spear too.
>>76395738Greetings and well met Sir Fuckelves. How does your quest connect to the Land of Transparentia? Blessed be thy endeavor, that surely will not cause a three generation long bloodbath between elves and human kingdoms again.
>>76395787I seek any and all assistance, seeing as unlike my land of Fedualgovernancia, this place has a centralized government and can be persuaded to help me bring unity to where I live. I also seek others who despise elves as much as I do here.
>>76387375No, the plague is a fake news! I, king Polly Ticallychar Gedstandin, assure you that the situation in the southern province is UNDER CONTROL!
>>76386969>Ah, you've awoken, good. Things were looking pretty rough for you dear adventurer, it was very lucky that we found you and brought you back here in time. You need not worry any longer, however, you find yourself in an ancient holdfast that has escaped detection from the Evil Empire for centuries. Welcome to Bouttabeinvaded.
I am Khan Notmongol of the Easternnomadlands and I have come to conquer all of the wester kingdoms
>>76396026>>76387287Although Khan Notmongol is still five kingdoms away, this seems like a grand time to test the capabilities of Spymaster Topplethrone
>>76396026Oh no! I, Expendabus McSenger, must deliver the news to the throne! Fortunately, I also saw their easily exploitable weakness. As long as I don't get hit by any arrows, I should be able to deliver the news in its entirety and not succumb to death just when I start mentioning the weakness!
>>76395998>Say, did anyone see our hotblooded militia commander, Tray Terr? He said he was going to scout the perimeter and make sure nobody finds us, which is silly because we've stayed hidden just fine for so long! What are the chances we'd be breached just as the Hero of Prophecy showed up?
>>76393886Isn't "Darkblade" a nickname for bastards in Naggaroth, like Snow or River in Gurm's books?
>>76387375Hello Hiro, I am Goodhealer Hidingwoman, a wandering religious healer. I wish to assist you in healing the infected, and advise you avoid the priests and witchunters of the Holy Faith Order; they have been overtaken by a dark force and some of them are no longer truly human.
>>76393963you beat me to it.I'm okay with this
>>76395714fuck off the jew joke is just too lazy to be funny
>>76389666Terry Prachett discworld posting from hell, digits confirm
>>76396777is MALus also a nickname?
>>76393798Nah. He's genuinely sketchy, but he also knows that without a legitimate claim there's no chance in hell he'll get the throne, so he settles for abusing his position in other ways(while also getting shit done). Meanwhile, the "good" king is a wastrel and idealist - a good man, but a bad ruler.
>>76387223If you had just given him the fucking boats maybe he wouldn't have had to smack a bitch
>>76390542He wasnt so much the bad guy as a mercenary that happened to be on the other side of the transaction
>>76387493Just keep him away from the energy drinks and he won't punch holes in the wall.
>>76386969So you must be the one master Sauronman sent? I see that you've gotten the position of grand vizier quite easily, thanks to the queen. I am court mage Mask Vilesorcerer, and we will be working closely from now on grand vizier. The master wishes that you introduce Holdgrudge Fuckelves to the senator, and push them towards waging a genocidal war against the elves. Serve the master well, and the queen will ensure you will marry your beloved Princess Thirstina.
What about the king and the queen consort son: Edgy Trenchcoat
>Struggling with the machinations of court? Fear not! For if you survive 17 sessions and my unending stream of infuriating putdowns, I - Dick Hidnfriend - will reveal that I have actually been helping you from the shadows the whole time!
>>76387096To be fair, Orthanc was built by the good guys
>>76386969I spit in your face, Liar Darkfalse, for I am EdgeSword DealsInAbsolutes, and never would serve such a foul soul. Unless you kidnap my best friend ComicRelief HornyBard and blackmail me into it.
>>76398040to be quite tbqh this is a trope I greatly enjoy
>>76387868What? No Bilbo Biggains and Swollum?
>>76394908Hello my name is Ishmael Drifterious and I thought a sea cruise sounds fun.
>>76386969"Hail. I am Darc PastryRust, and this is my weapon, the cursed skateboard Edge CoolHip."
>>76390542Hey now, Hiro did pretty well for himself actually. He got his dream waifu who is now also a wizard, mad cyber street cred, and a new business opportunity. Meanwhile Raven got dumped by a teenager and wrecked by a mafia boss with a straight razor and a skateboard.
>>76386969Nice to meet you, Mr. Darkfalse. I'm sure you'll fit right in with Tray'torr von Spinesnapper and Sir Malbad Eatsorphans.
>>76388272I love this comic dearly.
>>76393859the thumbnail looks like she's holding a dildo
>>76395667Take 3!>>76395722Ragazzio is present, added connection to Vigilante Lady
>>76397923Prince Edgy Trenchcoat may seem like a bad guy, but he's gonna join Hiro by the end isn't he?
>>76401683He will keep flip flopping until the end of time
>>76386969> So, what is your class?> Divination Wizard, with great knowledge of Enchantment.> You're hired.
>>76401172Is it bad that I unironically kind of want to play in this setting?
>>76386969This is historically accurate btw>hello I’m Slimo Silverthief and I would like to own your country’s banks please :)
Hello, Hiro, my name is Scrappy Wasteoftime! I'm sure a lot of fun hijinks will ensue now that you've met me, and I'll be a helpful, productive, popular member of your group!
>>76395074>DOOMCLAW BLACKWINGI'm 100% sure there is a dragon named blackwing in some official D&D setting. Or maybe in world of warcraft. Or both.
>>76401172King Naive will survive, the villains will wind up killing each other in their attempts to dethrone him.
>>76401915Googled "Blackwing" and "Blackwing Dragon" and the closest thing I got was a Yu-Gi-Oh card.
>>76389649Fatfuck nolift detected
>>76401915Close. There's Deathwing, and his son, Nefarian, lives in Blackwing Lair. Deathwing's wife, Sinestra, would also fit right into this thread.
>>76387053My Liege, it seems Prince Bonely been seduced by Rheal Fattits, a common-born witch, who he plans to elope with. This could throw succession into jeopardy! what should we do?
>>76387053>>76397923>>76387567Considering they have a kid together, do they actually get along and love each other?
>>76401999>dragon deathwind's son, nefarian, lives in blackwing lairlmao, perfect fit for the threadalso I knew I heard the name somewhere, I guess it was a lair instead of a dragon.
Sire! I've come to inform you that the Crone of Foulnasty is plotting to put an evil curse on Princess Lova Intereste! What shall we do, my Lord?
>>76402038Thanks for the updates, Anx Xiouslacky.I'll send Prince Trenchcoat to retrieve him at once.I'm sure he wouldn't do anything that would cause himself a lot of angst but improve his chances to become king; that isn't like him.
Man, King Naivenor lives a very busy life.Like he's got a new event that demands his attention every other day.Good thing he has a bunch of trusted viziers to take the load of his shoulders.
>>76402090Get her back from that cursed rat ( >>76395193 ) before it hauls the Princess up to the Mount Climb-Axe (>>76394383 ) and then we shall deal with that Crone! >>76402038But isn't Prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed the Heir? Ah of course:Lostson Futureking is a young son of Goodfellow, not firstborn of king Naivenor!
Had a thought-What if the King hires an obviously evil and corrupt vizier whose job it is to look obviously evil and corrupt? So that whenever someone wants to overthrow or assassinate the king, they go to the Vizier first cause he's so close and so obviously wants to depose the king. The Vizier is really just an actor who snitches to the King whenever someone comes to him with an evil plot.
>>76402253Judging by >>76401172, I wouldn't be surprised if half the court are allies of the king who only appear evil.
>>76402185There are dozens of viziers to oversee every aspect of the kingdom, shame they keep killing each other to advance, but hey ho, such is tradition set by ancient Cunningus Machiavellian
>>76387375As the honourable lord Shoulda Lissend, i implore you my liege, cast out this scrappy fool! I can deal with whatever troubles the southern provinces with my trusted companions, Kyl the Bastard, and the Scragling Sir Vivor!
>>76402225Unfortunately, Prince Getsbetrayed died in a tragic hunting accident last month, as did 36 of his younger brothers.
The Mysterious Knight Ian Notagirl from the Hiddenlands is sooooo hansdome! I wonder if he has a girlfriend?By the way, has anybody seem Princess Thirstina Tomboy?
Hiro's DiaryDay 4:Boy, what a day! Turns out the people in Sui-Pishuss are far nicer than anyone thought! They've given me feasts and gifts beyond imagine! Perhaps my work in New B'ton has preceded me! Their strange custom of holding onto weapons seems to be keeping the peace rather well, and tommorrow, i have been given audience with their lord (!!!), they've been great hosts, teaching me what food could upset my health or what may become a poison in the event of being under great heat, very nice town!Out of the town's i've visted, Sui-Pishuss is a 10/10!
>>76402414>By the way, has anybody seem Princess Thirstina Tomboy?I actually asked her if she had met the knight you spoke of and where she goes during her frequent absences from the court, and she became very flustered and muttered something about needing to go wash each of her hairs individually for the next fortnight. Very odd girl, it must be said.
>>76401172Why is Lostson Futureking a commoner if he isn't a bastard?
>>76402414So we have at least three women having alter egos, is this some kind of theme?
Your highness! Here comes Iamo Onfire, from the Somebody Helpme Lands!>"NO YOU IDIOT, I AM LITERALLY ON FIRE!"
>>76402597Queen Lostlove Auburnhair just taught her daughter well, I suppose..>>76402525Cant be commoner if he is the fated future king. Of course he could rise to the spot after everything has gone to hell due Hiro failing and the Court Plots just exploding in mad laughter
>>76402619Dammit man, which wizard did you insult *this* time?
It is I, Helljee "Bitty" Queerfairy, here to show up the cisheterokyriarchy!
>>76402775Alright sign me up, this sounds hilarious.
>The adventurers are summoned by the King Naivenor Nobleheart into his court of in capital of Transparentia, the great city of Capitol>As they enter they pass Darkfalse and his small army of viziers, from whose corner, once in a while there is a scream and a death body is taken away, dying under mysterious circumstances of a dagger in the back, everyone in the court got used to such accidents, he also has Holdgrudge besides him>They go past royal siblings, Lova talking with renowned Hiro Protagonist, Goodfellow listening Loyalman and Thirstina admiring party's weapons and armor all the while Prince Trenchcoat is glaring at the party from behind the pillar>They go past the rest of the court as Mak and Sauronman are whispering in each others ears, Tray'torr is listening to Topplethrone as the spymaster hands a bag of coins to Takebribe the Master of the KeepUnsure what to add for the scene of the court of Transparentia
>>76402938And I forgot the image, perfect
Some say Darkfalse is playing the long game and that all of his political machinations are but a convoluted plot to get his hands on the One McGuffin of Oldopolis, a marvelous artifact from a lost age.
Not a step more, Hiro. These are elven lands, and you must not be so naive to think that I, Amazonia Secondaryloveinterest will let you pass through without some sideplots and unsubtle political messaging!
>>76403100jesus christ that boob window
>>76403124That's a remarkably tame boob window anon.
>>76402938the grand feast in the evening, naturally. Much more fun can happen there. Food tasters are somehow a custom in this land, although King himself does not use one.>Darkfalse and his small army of viziersInterestingly after the arrival of the Queen Consort, the palace has been rebuilt with far more shadowy corners, secret passages and tall towers. It is even whispered that Impostera hired the famed architecht Mavo Lent for this renocation project.>>76403124Ahem, haven you seen our Queen?>>76387567
>>76403124Boob windows are a tradition of Transparentia and I will not stand to have an outsider mock it.
>>76403546>Topplethrone is a big fan of those, as if Edgy whom I propose we rename Edgynald
>>76403546>Ahem, haven you seen our QueenTo be fair, despite her attractiveness, it's really easy to look right past her.
>>76387255>>76402038>Prince BonelyVizier Darkfalse, as a part of your initiation course to current errands of the court; I must warn you. Do not mention Prince Boneyl to the King. Shortly after you were driven to exile by Duke Kinslay, a horrid tragedy happened. The Crown Prince Boneyl or "Bonely" as many called him, was seduced by Rheal Fattits, a common-born hag. They eloped from the Capital and despite the long search by the knights, neither of them were ever found. King still grieves of the loss, for an according to rumours Naivenor thinks that Boneyl would have been far better king than him.what actually happened: Duke Kinslays forces found Boneyl and Rheal. Claiming to be sent by King Abel, they attacked. The two actually survived and fled the kingdom. They lived a happy life, until Rheal became sick. Using their magical powers, they tried to save Rheal but ultimately failed in a magical blast. Boneyl would have been killed as well if not Rheal using last of her powers to save him and turn him into a lich. Taking the name of TRAJ ICBACKS-TORY, he has vowed revenge for his former home.
>>76403953Does that mean Boneyl was Naivenors brother or son?
>>76404043Naivenors elder brother. Firstborn of King Abel Nobleheart. Boneyl was a scholarly boy, hence the name. Probably made it easier for him to fall in love with Rheal.Naturally Rheal is now the Crone of Foulnasty. Neither of the couple know eachother currently due name changes (and thinking that Rheal is dead)
S-sire, it is I, Duke Tootimmid Goodman. I, uh, have concerns with some of your, er, advisors. I'd like to speak with you about it, you know, if you have the time.
Sire! We’ve just received a messenger from one of the northern villages! Thoraxe Vikingson and his band of raiders are pillaging the whole sea coast!
>>76404956Another raider! Send a message to General Lee to add him to the list of threats of the Kingdom to handle >>76394365Haven't heard from him or his Legions for a while..
Salutation puny ,mortals, I am Hooman Notdragon. A normal person doing human work.
>>76404956>>"HAH! PUNY OOMIES NO MATCH FER DA REAL DEAL! ME AM WARLORD CRO SMASHCRUSHA HERE TO TAKE YER CROWN, YER LANDS AND YER WOMEN!"
>>76393292>and does believe honesty is a "best" policy, except for him, of course.But then surely he'd claim that honesty is the best policy for all? He wouldn't want to clue everyone else in on his edge.
>>76395738>I'm Holdgrudge FuckelvesThe Dwarven contingent has arrived.
>>76404956>Thoraxe Vikingson and his band of raidersDoes that band include the dread berserker, Ynsvld Unpronunsiblson?
>Hey everyone! Noblist Night here! I'm just doing my patrols and making sure no evil is being committed. All you good folks aren't doing anything Evil in here, right?
>>76387053>>76387567Hello Mother and Father. It is I, Princess Goodaligned Cantkeepasecret Halfdemon, and I've come to warn you that your son, Prince Edgy Trenchcoat is plotting something against the both of you! I think he said something about an "Anniversary party" for the two of you
>>76406808Damnit, I forgot my picture
>>76402938>You (Hiro Protaganist and his party) have been summoned to the court of Transparentia as witnesses to the murder of prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed>You are being held in a side room next to the throneroom while other witnesses and court discuss the murder, but you can only hear muffled shouts and voices>A strange secret panel opens unexpectedly and the princesses Lova Intereste and Thirstina Tomboy scramble into the room with cups. >The princesses place the cups on the wall and listen in on the ongoings of the court>When you try to speak up Thirstina shushes you>You pull out your own tin cup and place it upon the wall.>albeit louder, you still cannot make out what the court is talking about>Lova motions you closer and points to a spot on the wall>You move there and end up face to face and distractingly close to Lova, but she is listening intently to the courtL I E S>The shout immediately draws your attentionI heard you tell Prince Goodfellow that you were to rip his head off!I said that. When I kill him, I'd have killed him in a Duel! In front of truthful witnesses! Unlike you!>That voice was Honorsson Noblesavage, the accused.Ha! he confesses his crimes>You then hear the new Grand Vizier speak upNobelsavage, you understand that conspiracy to kill the crown prince itself carries the sentence of deathThe only Conspiracy here it this fucking monkey trial and the liars and snakes in this room!>Grand Vizier Liar Darkfalse sighsLet's bring in the next set of witnesses. Thank you Sir Holdgrudge Fuckelves for your testimony. Please stay in the castle in case we need your testimony once again, but other than that you are dismissed.>you hear servants shuffle to the door to your room>Lova and Thirstina quickly scurry back into the hidden door, and you can see that Lova is visibly upset by hearing of her brother's death>the doors open and you and your party are taken into the courtroom
>>76408027>You see the king Naivenor Nobleheart and his queen consort Impostera Demonmask seated on their thrones raised above the floor>Grand Vizier Liar Darkfalse sits at a table in front of the throne acting as the primary judge of the case>to his left are Trusted Courtier Delilah Darkblood, Courtier Dick Hidnfriend, Head of the Faith Fallenpriest Holyman, and Royal Treasurer Grob Incorpulence>to his right: Lord Sauronman, Count Tray'torr von Spinesnapper, Count Twink von Token of Ethni City, and Senator Rapestab McGenocide>you see Honorsson Noblesavage held by enchanted chains>behind him is the court mage Evilman Vilesorcerer making sure he doesn't break free>The Grand Vizier Liar Darkfails begins to address your partyHiro Protaganist, Jodele O'Howdoweshutherup, Goodhealer Hidingwoman, and Noblist Night. You are all brought before the court of King Naivenor Nobleheart of Transparentia as witnesses to the murder of Crown Prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed 5 weeks ago at his vacation home Hunting Lodge 4: Secretfamily>and so your testimony begins>Jodele O'Howdoweshutherup begins your parties testimonyMy party and I were traveling to Transparentia when we met Cummy Bumpkin, a single mother and farmer in the area. She was working the fields with her young son Lostson Futureking. Terrible work really. Not something a woman pretty as her or a young boy. Especially not for a young female musician who's hands must be protected in order to play her instruments. Naturally Goodhealer and Noblist offered our aid and Cummy Bumpkin accepted, so we helped till the fields for the whole day. ALL DAY
>>76408069>Jodele shows her blistered hands to the courtSee! my hands are musicians' hands, not farmers', but Noooo. Goodhealer and Noblist just love helping people. And farming. I can't even feel my arms anymore. I can't lift anything up! How am I going to play my lyre?! All we got for the longest day of my life was blisters and some shit bread. And this witnessing a murder thing! Honestly the->Courtier Hidnfriend mercifully interruptsSilence! Someone else please finish this. And not the loud-mouthed, baby handed fool.>Vizier Darkfalse looks at youHiro, you can continue the testimony.>you continue Jodele's testimonySo after we worked the day, Cummy offered us to supper with her and her son. We ate outside during the night when I noticed a hooded man watching us. I saw that he was clearly a noble by his silk robe and jewelry. It didn't surprise us at all since it was known that we were very near to the Hunting Lodge 4: Secretfamily>Through clenched teeth you hear Count Tray'torr von Spinesnapper angrily whisperGoodfellowYes. It was prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed. After supper, the party went into the barn to rest and we kept watch as we always do. Goodhealer is the one who saw the actual murder.>Goodhealer steps forward.>the whole court looks at her intently, especially Fallenpriest HolymanIt was the beginning of the last watch about an hour before sunrise. With the faith of my god, I was able to only barely see that the prince had once again left his lodge. While walking towards Cummy's farm, a shadowed figure quickly flew at him and chopped him down with a massive axe. By the time I reached him it was too late.IT WASN'T ME! I'M BEING FRAMED!>Senator Rapestab McGenocide motions a man to bring forth a large bloodied axe >It is the Captain Dethmurderbludgeon, the only other man who could carry Noblesavage's bloody axe Is this the axe that killed the Crown Prince?Yes but th-This axe was found in Honorsson Noblesavage's room!
>>76408107LIARS! SNAKES! ALL OF YOU! MY AXE WAS STOLEN! GIVE IT TO ME NOW AND I WILL CUT YOU ALL DOWN RIGHT HERE!>Honorsson pulls on Mask Vilesorcerer's enchanted chains, but the more he struggles the tighter and hotter they burn. A A A A A A! Kill me then! Cut off my head! My brothers Evil Raider Jarl Noblesavage and Thoraxe Vikingson will burn this monkey kingdom to the Ground!>Grand Vizier smiles widely, unable to contain his glee. He stands up and spreads his arms out wideI name Honorsson Noblesavage guilty of conspiracy to commit regicide and the murder of Crown Prince Goodfellow Getsbetrayed. Thank you Adventurers for your testimony.>Guards escort you back to the side room as you see Captain Dethmurderbludgeon fondling the axe.>Evilman Vilesorcerer takes the violent struggling Honorsson to the dungeons>The guards remind you to stay until the court is officially adjourned and then leave you to be in the witnesses' room.>Once you are alone you once again grab your tin cups and listen in on the court>the princesses also pop out of their secret to listen in on the court, but this time their faces are hidden with hoods and Lova faces away from you>You hear Count Tray'torr von Spinesnapper firstSo we are in agreement to execute Noblesavage as soon as possible, tomorrow morning yes?>The whole room speaks in agreement except Count Twin von Token of Ethni CityTransparentia should be careful of who it makes enemies of. Ethni City has treaties with both this kingdom and with the Nobelsavages. We may have to be neutral if a conflict arisesHa! we don't need your pussy soldiers to help us crush these animals! Senator Rapestab. the raiders of Noblesavage and their allies are no simple beasts. They held a seige and took the Duchy of Ierelvant. And after the expedition into the Swamp Darkmud O'Fucksomanyinseks I'm not so sure your military can even face my.... "pussy" soldiers>Senator Rapestab McGenocide roars out and you hear a sword being drawn
>>76408142Stop!>you finally hear King Naivenor speakMy son is dead, and we are on the brink of war. This kingdom cannot have more bloodshedBut my king. There will be bloodshed no matter what we do. Conquerlandia is still spreading under the leadership of Vigilante Lady "Not Queen Lostlove" Rebelmonarch and the Noblesavages will not lay still when we execute Honorsson Noblesavage. Thank you Grand Vizier. As much as it pains me perhaps we should instead hold Honorsson Noblesavage until we can make peace with the Noblesavages. It would even give us time to continue the investigation.N O. A murder must be paid in blood. That is the way of the Holy Order.Very well. But how shall we continue with my only son dead?>The king falters. You can imagine him sobbing during the awkward silence>A female voice breaks the silenceAhem ahem. Well, my king, we have to find an heir. Although we keep you safe here in the castle there are no guarantees, and the peasantry is on the brink of revolt after Darkmud O'Fuksomanyinseks. Princess Lova Interesta is still unmarried, and my uncle Lord Alucard Darkblood is recently widowed. A marriage would surely strengthen the kingdom.>Whispers fill the court that slowly raises into shouts.>you see Lova become increasingly agitated at the myriad of names being brought forward for her future marriage>Thirstina tries to calm her, but nothing worksWhat about me? I could marry Lova and I'm right here!Senator Rapestab, you're already married to Ms. Teriouslydies!Yea, but she's somewhat sick, I don't know how long she'll last!>A quiet sigh then somehow cuts through all of the noise>Queen Consort Impostera Demonmasks voice, though timid, can be heard clearly throughout the room, even without the tin cup. >Her voice pulls you in as the sirens did on Harpykill beach >entranced, the whole court goes silent.>Even your heartbeat seems to stop
>>76408173Naivenor, my love, I apologize for I have not been truthful to you. When we joined together in marriage after the dissappearance of Queen Lostlove Auburnhair, you were so distraught I did not want to trouble you with anything. Now your son Prince Goodfellow is slain. I know your pain of losing your beloved, but I can only imagine the pain of losing a child. I do not know how well I would fare should my world Prince Edgy Trenchcoat was slain. But the truth must be revealed. What would have stung Transparentia before now may save it. Prince Edgy Trenchcoat is the heir of this kingdom. Though he is not your son, he is the descendant of your lost elder brother Bonely. I only kept this from you and the court to avoid a succession battle between my son and yours, but now the kingdom needs an heir. >Both Lova and Thirstina gasp at this revelation>Likewise, the court is left speechlessAs proof, there is a book in my chambers of his geneology. Captain Dethmurderbludgeon, when you are done fondling your axe you can go to my quarters and find a black bound book with a red stenciled star on it. It should be titled "Demonmask: Bukuv Lyes"While the Captain gets the book we should continue to discuss the marriage of Princess Lova Intereste. And probably Thirstina as well. As I said my uncle is recently widowed and would be a perfect fit.Silence Lady Delilah Darkblood! Only a Male Heir of Nobleheart can sit on the throne. That is the way of the Holy Order.>The court speaks no more, and eventually Captain Dethmurderbludgeon comes back with the book. >After some deliberation Grand Vizier Liar Darkfalse exclaims the final words of approvalThese are the seals of King Able Nobleheart and Prince Bonely Nobleheart. The court of Transparentia and King Naivenor Nobleheart have verified this. King Naivenor, are you ready to give your edicts?
>>76408205Yes. I am. By the power of the God of the Holy Order and my title as King of Transparentia I declare these edicts as truth!>He slams his scepter onto the stone floor echoing throughout the whole castle, like God's own thunder1. Honorsson Noblesavage shall be executed at sunrise tomorrow morning!>He slams his scepter again2. Prince Edgy Trenchcoat shall be named Crown Prince and heir to the throne of Transparentia>one last time the thunder roars through the entire kingdom3. Princess Lova Intereste shall be betrothed to Lord Alucard Darkblood of Bloodsuckvamp-IrelandN O! >Lova screams out loudly for everyone in the throne room to hear, crying uncontrollablyLova? Quickly get my daughter!>Thirstina hurries Lova through the secret panel leaving you and your party alone in the room with guards fast approaching the side room containing your partyWhat will you do?
>>76408219Looked down from the heavens Angel Deus Machina Fanservicers see that a grave injustice is happening. She casts her voice into the mind of the only mortal close at hand that is wise to the point he can hear her. Hobo Madman Hasknife! Understanding the great need he puts down the otherwise important task he had with a ham sandwich. He talks to the common folk and they half understand. Gladly they join him to petition the king to over this matter.However they could not keep their claim even with the wise words of Hobo Madman Hasknife to lead them. In riot that follows Honorsson Noblesavage and Princess Lova escape.
>>76395737Will he make a grand return as Miniscule Gadgetsson to fight mechanical ninja Notmi Katana?
>>76401915I was also thinking that it's actually a normal name for a dragon, as assigned by the local humans. It's have to be something like D'oomclaawtus B'lckwengovax for the draconic-style pun.
>>76395098Even Lady Vanpious Vonhasasoul?
>>76395159They predate standardised spelling.
>>76387348I'm sorry but do you... understand the job you're applying for?Good gods man you're not gonna be a overgrown minister, you're the grand vizier, practically political cuckbull of the kingdom.
>>76387542Why hello, Delilah. You simply MUST teach me how you're holding that glass
> it seems that first post did not work >>76401172Take 4!most of chars added so far. Still missing Evilman Vilesorcerer darn.>we have a good number of chars already. More stories and connections between them next?>>76410154Indeed! McGenocide and Captain Dethmurderbludgeon are working hard to make the kingdom a happy place>>76395737 Noooot entirely sure why they murdered the Crown prince>>76405699Nobilist Night is funnier if she hangs around the Court and the Viziers are 1) avoiding her2) trying to play nice around her3) trying to keep her away from Jeanne4) trying to attach her to Sir Holdgrudges crazy crusade or some other distraction>>76406808>>76402044Slightly confused about the number of children between King and Queen ImposteraOf course they are madly in love, although Impostera is trying to deny it. Marriage of Naivenor and Lostlove Auburnhair wasnt happy at all.>>76403100I was shipping Jodele as the mandatory third wheel for Hiro/Lova >>76409009Not in this thread yet!
>>76410602>Transparentia, nation of utmost convolutionIs this poetry?
>>76404132So that's the fourth woman with an alter ego, fifth if you count the current queen.
>>76410602>Princess Lova Intereste has two plots against her, and by a lich and powerful witchWhat did that poor girl do to deserve this?
>>76410749She's a love interest of the Protagonist, whose family has some ancient curse placed upon or something I dunno
>>76410683we do also havePrince Boneyl = Lich Traj Gardener Oldmen = Angel and possiblyHiro = Natrili Daed>>76410749It is all part of an intricate conspiracy of McGenocide & Dethmurderbludgeon to get Rheal and Bonely back together and to unlife happily ever after.If all goes according to the plan, Princess Thirstina shall slay Blackwing and win the love of the people
>>76405489No, that would be Hidetechnology Schemesalot, whom I don't quite get along with, but he came along. I don't know why. He's probably afraid of someone stealing their technology.
Thsi should archeved? And perhaps 1d4chaned?
>>76397151>Princess ThirstinaReally tempted to actually use that one and see if anyone notices
>>76412541At least archived, I'd say.
>>76412541>>76412867I archived it at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/76386969/. No 1d4chan page I know of yet.
>>76414244Thank you, very much appreciated
>>76387053MY LORDS! DOOMEDGUY SECRETNOBLE, FATHER OF EVERYMAN CHOSENHERO FROM THE VILLAGE SLAUGHTEREDBURG IN MURDEREDONFIRESHIRE SAYS HE HAS URGENT INFORMATION CONCERNING A TRAITOR TO THE KING!
A gentle knock on her door awoke Goodhealer Hidingwoman. She recovered her trusty dagger - the Capitol was mostly safe, but the tavern Shadowalley Stabhole was known for two things: cheap rooms and no witnesses. The latter was good for hiding from the traitor Fallenpriest, but now Goodhealer wondered her selection.At least her companions were sleeping in other nearby rooms, so she could shout or use her powers and they should be here in instant. Unless they had been killed already..Steeling her thoughts and preparing an enchantment, Goodhealer opened the door. A figure in grey cloak was standing in the doorway, but her senses did not register any bad intentions from the visitor. He just sighed wearily. >"You have your mothers eyes, Lady Holywoman."His voice was familiar, so she opened the door for him. Inside, the visitor removed his worn cloak. A mostly bald man with heavy scars and white beard looked at the priestess.>"Do not mention that name! Not all of my companions know!">"I am sorry, your Lightship. But I had to be sure.">"Speak then, Loyalman Swordmaster. This was not mere friendly visit?"The old warrior leaned closer and began to whisper.>"I am getting a feeling that something might be rotten at the Capital.">"What was your first clue?" Although she tried to keep her voice neutral, a slight touch of sarcasm crept in.>"For a long time, I thought it was only Duke Kinslay. Ever he was a troublemaker. But everything continued after his execution. First Jollybuff, then Goodfellow. Now Princess Lova has been captured, Thirstina is missing and General Dutybound can't find either.">"Do not worry about the Princesses, master Loyalman, " Goodhealer said, "we have deciphered the old runes from Ruins of Ven O' Myfangy and are departing tomorrow to Mount Climb-Axe. The ritual will be stopped.">"That is great news, your Lightness, but the problems at the Capital will continue even if you manage to handle the dire Lich Traj."cont.
>>76415532Its of utmost importance, don't worry, Topplethrone sent out Knifestab Assassinman to investigate
>>76415532As the honorable lord Shoulda Lissend, I can assure you that we can handle any traitor in our ranks without some commoner's input.
>>76415612A sad look crept to the eyes of Goodhealer Hidingwoman. >"It is all but certain. Beware Fallenpriest Holyman, he no longer serves the Faith."Loyalman nodded. It was not a gesture of a nobleman, but a affirming move of an warrior.>"I was not present at the Trial of Honorsson Noblesavage. It was said that you were the only witness to the actual murder. Is that so?">"I saw the Crown Prince fell, yes.">"Are you certain that the killer was Honorsson? Because I have been thinking, and I think I saw him at the Capitol on that day.">"Master Loyalman, I am certain that the killer was not Honorsson. The killer had dark hair, while Honourrsson is blond like most of northerners. I could not see face in the dark, alas."Loyalman was silent for a long moment. The only candle lighting the small room burned shorter.>"Therefore the entire war with the Northerners is a fabrication. By the Light."The veteran soldier stood up and reached for his cloak.>"I must take this knowledge to the top. This must be revealed and the war stopped. No-one has yet been able to do anything to the Dragon attacks!"The door was kicked open and Hiro, Jodele, Rye Vall, Edgesword, Amazonia and Sir Ian crashed in, weapons ready. It took a stunning charm from Goodhealer to prevent them hurting Loyalman. Situation was resolved, but Loyalman departed quickly, for already too much noise had been created.Morning arrived, and Loyalman Swordmaster watched from a tower as the adventurers rode off towards the Weaponshape Mountains. The palace was its usual dark and moody, and the lackeys and viziers were milling around as they always did. Loyalman took few stairs upwards and opened a heavy oaken door. >"My friend, I have the most worried news to tell you!">"You arrived this early, so it must be serious! Have a seat, master Loyalman!">"Thank you, Senator Genocide!"Historians have written that in that moment the decade long plans of Senator and Captain began to unravel
Sire, I, Rethu of the goldfoot have a report to make. There is a plague breaking out in the villiage of deathmarch, in the deadlands, how shall my goldfeet tap to it?
>>76415988We shall send our vizier's apprentice, of course. I'm sure Nekoro Manceer can handle it.
Sidea Kicke here! Here to prove myself that I am capable like my father before me and my plucky and idealistic attitude will totally not be reality checked during our trials! Until my maturity goes up and my naivety goes down, I will be constantly bratty and entitled!
Wow you guys all have stupid names.
Puny men, I am Barb Aryan, a female warrior from a distant northern land, and I am here to prove I am stronger than any man!
>Dear General Ripper von Killmonger,The King wishes your campaign against the Dread Jarl Nobile Savage proceeds swiftly and effectively. For we have heard that there is constant stream of warriors joining his banner while hearing little about you victories.>>76417458>>76405290Yes, we admit that the situation with Herald Honoursson was unfortunate and Jarl Nobile has sworn off all forms of diplomacy. Yet given Honourssons murder of our beloved Prince and thus violating sacred hospitality, there was no other way than execute the northerner for his crimes against the Kingdom.Alas, the Capital cannot send you any more forces due the Dragon Issue and the Southern Plague. Witchfinder Paingiver Takanarmoffa has volunteered to join you, as has Sir Malbad Eatsorphans. They should arrive along this letter. Both are talented soldiers, use them well!May Light shine on your victories!> Liar DarkfalceGrand Vizier of Transparentia, Most Trustworthy, The Honestiest, Keyholder of the Palace, The Allhearer, Old Friend of King, Revealer of Evil, Well of Wisdom.PS: I trust that the volunteer Joanne has enjoyed the front-lines?
>>76393963>>76396814absolutely gorgeous movie. Shame it never really got finished.
>>76405072>not Hugh MannOne Job
There should be a function to report a very high quality thread so the janitors can see it.
>>76394861Let me guess you have the best of intentions?
>>76417458Greetings Ms Aryan I am Edgelord VonBlacknight, feel free to prove your might as a striker I will prove mine as a defender.
I am Eavy Metalus cleric of the Gods of Fornication, Intoxicants, and loud music. Is there a group in need of a healer?
>>76387375Plagues? There are no plagues in the south. Who's ever even been emplagued? This kingdom has never experienced plague. In fact, all sickness is derived from bad living weighing heavy on a poor soul, so is there even such a thing as plague, when compared to sin? That's right, yes, there is no such thing as plague conceptually. It's a spook and this man is a charlatan.>t. Count Northenvy Plaguebringer
>>76387773>Hiro ProtagonistAs long as he’s a black samurai hacker who invented google earth and lives in a shipping container and works as a combat pizza delivery driver
>>76420649Count Northenvy Plaguebringer, just asking for a friend, but are you a rat humanoid by the way?
>>76402748I don't know, man. I just told some kid named Childe O'Faerie that he was too young to apply as a Wizard college professor and the next thing I know, my clothes were on fire. Even when it was raining!
>>76387074I want to fuck that Jafar.
>>76410602outstanding work sir Quill Inkhart, compiling all this convuluted knowledge about our liege's court, truly you are the most intelligent man of our age
>>76421074why are there so many homosexuals posting in every thread on every board?
>>76410602It seems Rheal has been in contact with Trajic.He apparently doesn't recognize her yet, but she does have powerful glamour magics...
Hark! who goes there! I am Expend Able, soldier and protector of his noble majesty King Naivenor. I have been tasked to guard any and all ancient relics and/or prisoners of high import! The king mentioned grave consequences i ever were to fail my duties! Which I won't! Haha!
>>76418182From Stern Dutybound, General Commanding, Transparentia Vanguard. To General Ripper Von Killmonger, General in Chief, Transperentia Expeditionary Forces.General, we have marched as ordered through Ambush Valley, fighting running skirmishes the entire way. Despite these casualties we have taken Last Stand Pass as ordered. Please dispatch the main force promptly to attack Jarl Nobile Savage's capital. The route is open as we are currently pressed hard by his forces. While we can hold this position, for the time being, we will starve without supplies and relief, and your window for a swift and relatively bloodless victory will close. I hope to see you again after the successful conclusion of operation Machiavellian Betrayal. Yrs, General Stern DutyboundP.S. Please send additional regimental musicians, as the ones with the vanguard only know how to play mournful or foreboding songs.
>Shalom, young Hiro! Please, sit and sup with me, weary one. My door opens to thee this eve. We strangers must be kind to one another when the rain drops bear plague toward us, no?>looks aside to camera>Little does he know that he'll be paying for every minute of it, if my name isn't Hooknose Bluestar!
Hello, General Killmonger; I am Witchfinder Takanarmoffa, I am>VERYexcited to be here. I had though to serve on the front lines, of course, yes, but on my way here I noted various signs of iniquity among your men. As the man of faith I trust you surely are, I know you would not question the judgement of Heaven embodied in me. As such, I am sure you agree that my talents are best turned to being sure that your army is the best army it can be, and have me begin>questioningyour men. Very important right before a battle! My assistant here, Frothi Ngma Dman, seems to have taken a dislike to the man who led us here. He'd never say so aloud of course, but I can read the twitching of your eyes, can't I, old friend? Any way, do let me have a word with that man, a certain Sergeant Scap Egoat.>>76422575>P.S. Please send additional regimental musicians, as the ones with the vanguard only know how to play mournful or foreboding songs.Kek
>>76403100How fierce will the rivalry between Amazonia Secondaryloveinterest and Thirstina Tomboy be?
>>76426625Amazonia and Thirstina Tomboy?Given that Amazonia first meets Sir Ian, there might be mostly friendly rivalry while they save Princess Lova from the Lich. Probably after some other adventures Lova and Hiro eventually get together. Amazonia might even become attracted to Sir Ian for a while, causing all kinds of hilarity. All is resolved when Sir Ian is revealed to be Thirstina, probably around when she defeats Blackwing .>>76410838If everything goes according to the Senator-Captain plan, Amazonia and Holdgrudge Fuckelves somehow fall in love after bickering for ages and thus the entirety human-elf war situation gets resolved. Regarding Amazonia and Lova Intereste, that shit gets fierce in turn...
>>76426834>Holdgrudge Fuckelves double meaningMy sides
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skl71urqKu0Hello, I'm Professor Death and I would like to show you genuinely helpful innovations.
>>76410602Take 5!Please connect yer chars to the Kingdom, not just make oneoff jokes. It takes only couple of sentences.>>76396820This very much.We gotEvilman SorcerousMask Vilesorcerer and Evilman Vilesorcerermentioned here. I wrote them as separate chars and gave Evilman Sorcerous the title of Hand of the King so we do not mix the who the Grand Vizier is. Of course their internal hierarchy is a total clusterfuck inside the Swarm of Viziers and Lackeys.>The letters are awesome btw!>>76421195well thank you!
I think we need a royal alchemist that's totally not handing out poison on the side. But I'm not good with punny names.
>>76428454I feel like Kinslays red line should also extend down to Naivenor.
Please do not mind me, i am merely a local man.
>>76429332Localman Ruinseverything! I saw you at the ruins of Doombad, messing with books!
>>76429265Alberto Kemyst, maybe?
Hello strangers, I am but a humble archaeologist, and I've noticed you and your friends there look like you could use an extra team member to seek the powerful crystal relic in that nearby ruin. Also, please ignore my vast skill list of otherwise inaccessible death, decay, and darkness spells and how I managed to reach this hidden location that required the use of a one-of-a-kind ancient flying machine for you to reach.
>>76429265Poissonned Drinnke perhaps?
>>76429332>>76429386Exxxxcuse me Baron Ruin O' Everythinge,buuut you are sitting on MY CHAIR, the ancient Maippukcuf Sireguh O Enorht Desruc !! Yet I, >Crown Prince Edgynald "Edgy" Unholiam Ghostblade Friendystab Silverlocke Vergilcopy Maxiabroodis Millionfolde BufferOverflow Trenchcoat Nobleheart shall ignore this minor transgression, for I am not some kind of bloodthirsty Tyrant yet.Alas, I have stop the preparations for the coming Anniversary Party, for I have just heard terrible and everything-altering revelations about my lineage and the history of the kingdom, and must hastily depart after Hiro to the Mont Climb-Axe!Surely I am sufficiently wise and in stable mood to prevent a major catastrophe from happening and can help the Heroes stop Lich Trajic who apparently might be my father? from sacrificing Princess Lova who is my halfsister or stepsister or cousin or something??Luckily for all, Rye Vall has taught me a handy trick: If I encounter a decision that has major consequences to my friends, the entire kingdom and/or the entire world, I shall flip a coin about the decision and follow that result with all my might and not care about silly things like morals! With this handy advice We shall be surely victorious!So goodbye father(?), mother and the horde of Viziers! Prepare a triumph for my return!
>>76387053Hello dear King Nobleheart andI am Hans Goodsseller Van Gildmeester. I am here to talk about the trade roads in Generi Kwealfy city. Greedy Iwantmoremoney has forbidden all merchant and goods to enter the city!Surely he will not defect the kingdom and betray your Highness !
>>76428454I have no idea what this is, but it needs more detail. Maybe some kind of chart or text document explaining all the details.
>>76432126Read the thread or the names of the people in the graphic.
>>76429265Spike Drinks, maybe?
>>76387232Wait, why do our noble king Nobleheart's son have a different surname?
>>76432126Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Transparentia, there was a king named Firststab "Grandfather" Nobleheart. He was an okay ruler and started the local tradition of naming children *stab. He was a friend of Sage Onthenose, so did not follow the new stab-tradition himself. He had two sons (records about daughters are contradictory) and named the firstborn Abel and the younger Kinslay. They both grew to be smart and strong men. As was the custom, Abel was the heir of the kingdom and to lessen the ambitions of Kinslay, upon reaching adulthood he was granted the Dukedom of Evilman.Then Duke Kinslay fucked up EVERYTHING for at least four generations. Such is the price of ambition. The End...?Yes, there might be minooor omissions in this tale fragment.. Anyway fuck Kinslay, for basically everything is his fault.>>76432437Because the nobles all have tons of names and the most noteworthy ones are mentioned.
>>76387053My king! I see so many interesting people has gathered in these castle halls! Should I, your humble servant Mastemin Detrue Antagonist, perform one of my best dances to entertain your guests?
>>76431140The roads are closed because of the Plague, idiot. Please submit your Request to open them into Byrocratic Dungeon # 2 chamber seven, just directly underneath the Viziers of Endless Paperwork and Viziers of Endless Forms. Tough luck for your enterprise. Probably you should discuss the situation with Ambassador Twink. >>76432590>Ohholyfuck did Kinslay somehow survive being hanged, drawn and quartered? Ah it is just you McGenocide huh! Good joke though, hehehaha! Seriously though, >Please connect yer chars to the Kingdom and other characters + happenings . It takes only a couple of sentences and actually reading a bit of the thread. Oneoff jokes are getting a tiring, particularly when they just make a minor reference to King Naivenor.
>>76428454>>76432126>adjustable Timeline For the royal family + some other eventsGenresavvy can be set at any number of years before the birth of King Grandfather if he is made into a distant ancestor. Then make X the birth year of King Grandfather. Just add the year numbers, and it sets itself with this timeline. The dates aren't final or anything and there is a lot of contradictions in the thread itself.The only issue I found is making the Princesses young enough to be unmarried, but Edgynald also old enough to be edgy. Therefore, Edgynald can't really be much younger than Thirstina, so Queen Lostlove has to disappear quickly after Thirstina's birth.
>>76433673died in childbirth?
>>76433673Amazing Sir Hublius Recordkeepra!Notes/Opinions-Return of Darkfalse and Execution of Kinslay should be recent, such as 110? Kinslay kept first Naivenor as a puppet? Darkfalse was exiled for a long time. >>76387255Goodfellow even could have participated in the Dukes downfall. Kinslay was killed a just before Traj and Hypercompetent Ratservant start their stuff >>76395193. There might have been wars and conflict for a long time, first for Naivenor to reclaim his freedom and then true civil war. Jollybuff and Loyalman were companions of Naivenor?-Gap between kids kinda suggests that we have missing children. Wonder who they are impersonating... Or Goodfellow, Lostlove and Lostson are a bit younger all.-Some of the kids of Naivenor might have been twins to help the years. -Purge of the church happens too early, At least Impostera needs to be in the court for it to happen (so later than 101+ ). Also Goodhealers age might need adjustments if it is not recent. The infiltration of course could have started earlier.-Genresavy can stay as a legend, no need to adjust Time Since King Firststab was born.>>76432515-Plague could be more earlier, like +114. It clearly was not noticed by the Capital until Hiro. or swap Doomclaw and Plague?-First sighting of Traj later, so that He and Rheal get to spend more happytime together?Additional:+95 or something, Goodfellow birth plus 15-20 years: Tragic death of childhood friend Natrili Daed. This scars Goodfellow for the rest of his life. Is Natrili really Hiro?+115ish Disappearance of Master Jollybuff >>76433881Lostlove? Rumors state that Duke Kinslay was behind her disappearance, but actually see >>76395381 (back then Evilman Sorcerer OR Duke Kinslay was the Grand Vizier) Btw, thread 2 soon?We have one major flaw here. This is a fun story, but it is not much of a setting. Hiro is too central Therefore he needs to fail at Climb-Axe and die.
>>76429838You wouldn't be a lich would you?
>>76426625Is >>76396794 in Hiro's growing potential love interests?
Greetings. I am Fu Ran and I come all the way from the far east to sell my wares.
>>76437997And I am his bodyguard, Big Dong the Tiger Idiot.
ITT: People who crossed paths with an Apellomancer
Thread 2: >>76439786
>>76387165Rapestab McGenocide is a pretty smart guy, he'll know the answer.
>>76387375my pizza is late you bitch
>>76387567Is that the witch bitch from Thunderbolt Fantasy?
>>76390500Can we have sex instead?
Hello, I am PAIN
>>76439935What makes her a witch? She's just a necromancer.
>>76439804Traditionally on 4chan you link to the new thread by placing 3 links atop eachother in one post. A single link is easily scrolled past and missed.
Urgh thanksThread 2: >>76439786>>76439786>>76439786
>>76388272>>764001978BT is a national treasure.
>>76439935Looks like it
>>76438926How did a easterner get plate armor?