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  • File : 1263261335.jpg-(100 KB, 480x321, kung_fu_hustle.jpg)
    100 KB Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:55 No.7546762  

    Exatled: Kung Fu Hustle Edition

    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:56 No.7546770

    You mean Exalted wasn't already?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:56 No.7546780
    OP is currently drunk/high/retarded and just saw this movie. He had a random mindfart and thought this would be good.

    He was wrong.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:56 No.7546782
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    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:56 No.7546787

    Nah, Exalted takes itself WAY too seriously. Kung Fu Hustle just constantly takes the piss.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:59 No.7546830

    Really? I thought it was being so serious that it looped back on itself and was being satirical again.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)20:59 No.7546835

    >OP is currently drunk/high/retarded and just saw this movie

    OP here. Only one of the four things here is true. Pick.

    Anyway, I think you could recreate the basic story easily enough. PC's are a bunch of vagrants trying to get in with a gang of thugs, except their hijinks keep taking them to this one particular slum where a number of Terrestrial Martial Art Masters live ordinary lives. As the gang violence increases, the Terrestrials rise to defend their home and shit gets crazy..
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:01 No.7546851

    Main villain would be a lunar exalt with a toad war form.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:01 No.7546860
    Exalted is pretty much designed for Kung Fu Hustle style action; you know, main characters scattering hordes of goons with a single kick, puching holes in buildings without touching them etc etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:03 No.7546876

    See, I'd been thinking of the Beast as an old Wood Aspect Terrestrial.

    Either way, the main characters find themselves caught up in circumstances way beyond their mortal ken and end up Exalted to Solars and cleaning the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:07 No.7546917

    Step one: Read two Exalted books.
    Step two: Watch Kung Fu Hustle
    Step three: Play Exalted.

    Done. It's like saying "D&D: Dungeon Siege - In the Name of the King Edition". It's too straightforward to bother.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:14 No.7546979
    Okay, it's established that OP doesn't know much about Exalted.

    Let's talk about Exalted: Modern. What time is Kung Fu Hustle, anyway? I get a sort of fifties vibe from the fashion and aesthetics. That means technologies not very widespread, but firearms, cars etc etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:16 No.7547001
    I throw a knife...and I stab you on accident.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:22 No.7547055
    Just saw the movie?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:23 No.7547069
    Its not 50's its more 30's actually.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:26 No.7547105
    Slums, cars that could accurately be described as 'jalopies', widespread usage of tommyguns.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:28 No.7547117

    Clever girl.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:29 No.7547133
    Definitely feels like 1940s-50s. It probably takes place in the period after WW2 before Mao steps in. . .which would be perfect for the next adventure after the events of Kung Fu Hustle.

    Are we assuming Exalted: Modern takes place in Exalted's world advanced to 50s tech or ours with Exalts in it? At which point, how has modern tech changed Exalted/how has Exalts changed the world?

    I can imagine Hitler investing massive resources into a Dragon Blood-esque system desperately looking for some "super-exalt" to win the war, Patton and Rommel going around punching tanks, and Japanese Exalts surfing Zeros down to American battleships.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:30 No.7547140
    You know, Kung Fu Hustle is actually listed as a reference material in the Scroll of the Monk.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:30 No.7547141


    New Charm: "Tigers Most Excellent Tommygun"?

    "Gateway To Pair O'Dice: Summons a mystical door to Pair O'Dice, a speakeasy in Elsewhere"
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:31 No.7547150
    Landlord and Landlady are Heroic mortals, the three masters are simply exceptional mortals, the main villain is a Terrestrial Exalt, and the hero is a Solar Exalt. Dunno what the music players are, I'm thinking some kind of fey.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:31 No.7547152

    Hmm. Let's say our world with Exalts.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:32 No.7547159

    I was thinking Akuma, myself.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:33 No.7547172
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    >our world with exalts.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:33 No.7547177

    >Exalted level Mahjong

    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:35 No.7547199
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    The pope is a Solar Exalt.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:36 No.7547220

    >Pope is a Solar

    That's a funny way of spelling Infernal.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:37 No.7547231
    >The pope is a Solar Exalt.

    Zenith Caste, obviously.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:38 No.7547235
    Exalts, nothing.

    Games of Divinity? Mahjong.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:38 No.7547242
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:39 No.7547251
    Pah, if the Pope were a Solar, we'd all be Catholic. The guy's a Terrestrial at best.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:41 No.7547269
    Okay, so if it's our world with Exalts, why exactly are they here? Gods are real and choose champions? Green space rock? Sheer willpower and KICKING REASON TO THE CURB on the Exalts' part? And how has their presence changed world history without changing the sleazy, corrupt, capitalist lifestyle in Shanghai just after WW2?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:44 No.7547291
    >sleazy, corrupt, capitalist lifestyle in Shanghai just after WW2

    Maybe that's when the Exaltations started coming back?

    If we go with the conceit that our world is the Exalted one far into the future, then maybe the exaltations were sealed up somewhere, and they're just beginning to re-emerge?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:44 No.7547297

    Well according to the manga, mahjong is, according to the Catholic church, the way of interpreting God's will and the method by which they choose the next pope.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:45 No.7547306

    Maybe have it so that the Jade Prison has only just now broken; our world is what happens after the Scarlet Dynasty falls and there's a lot of tectonic movement etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:45 No.7547309
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    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:47 No.7547339
    I think something ended up killing most of them off permanently, perhaps the Yozis or something, leaving only a couple left such as Father Wolf and probably Caine.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:48 No.7547348

    Nice. Maybe nuclear weapons are the catalyst? Martial artists find themselves becoming that much better and people all over the globe are beginning to exhibit powers out the wazoo. In addition to having things like Kung Fu Hustle happen, you have the Cold War powers try to round up as many Exalts as possible.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:49 No.7547368

    As an aside, this is roughly the story behind the Exalted: Modern game my friend is running, except the Jade Prison 2.0 broke about a month ago. By dropping on our hometown.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:50 No.7547380

    You know, an Exalted arms race does explain the Cold War quite nicely. Chernobyl wasn't a nuclear explosion, it was a testing ground for a Twilight built weapon which channelled the power of the Wyld. The radiation and mutations are the after effects.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:52 No.7547392
    Hell yes, or maybe Nazi meddling? We do know that they sent expeditions to Tibet, an intensely spiritual place...
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:52 No.7547404

    I like the idea that nuclear weapons did it.

    Oppenheimer was actually a Sidereal of the Bronze Faction. Having witnessed the worlds slow decline since the death of the last Incarnae at the Crucifixtion, he decides to finish the world off quickly by releasing the Solars.

    Over time, with tectonics, the Jade Prison had become buried under tons of rock in the Nevada desert. "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" were the final incantations to his spell that set free the Solars to once more rise and rule and ruin.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:56 No.7547454
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    What are you doing outside of the secure network? Nevermind, enjoy your month without the sun.

    The rest of you:
    You're not supposed to be here. Forget about all this.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:59 No.7547487

    I always knew he was a Sidereal.

    Wait, who was I talking about again?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)21:59 No.7547490

    Wait, YOU'RE behind all the snow in the UK? Lame, I was totally expecting a pissed off Exalted.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:01 No.7547512

    Look up the Demon Core and TELL ME THATS NOT THE WORK OF AN ABYSSAL
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:02 No.7547531
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    >this thread


    Maybe a combination of the two. Nazi meddling (maybe due to sidereal meddling) made the Stars are Right, if you will, and nuclear weapons sealed the deal.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:03 No.7547541

    Nah, that's probably just a Storm Mother in a particularly frosty mood.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:05 No.7547555

    This thread just took a turn for the awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:07 No.7547585
    >the death of the last Incarnae at the Crucifixtion

    This makes so much sense, that shit is officially bananas.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:08 No.7547598

    But which Incarnae was it? Obviously not a Maiden, since Jesus was a guy.

    Jesus was the Unconquered Son?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:13 No.7547653

    At long last, the Unconquered Sun broke free from his addiction, to see the world in the absolutely destitute state it was in. The other gods were dead or worthless, so he did the only thing his Virtues would allow, and sent himself to the world to help it. But he did not know of the attenuated essence levels, and nearly destroyed himself in the journey. His only chance for survival; attempt to possess a human host. And near where he arrived, a pregnant woman giving birth in a manger.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:15 No.7547671

    So the wise men were Sidereals? And the star was the mark of the UCS's attempt to return to Earth/Creation?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:16 No.7547682

    You know, it may seem odd given Jesus's peace and love thing and UCS's RIP AND TEAR FOR JUSTICE thing, but actually I kind of works; Jesus for a lot of cultures was a warrior king. The Anglo-Saxons especially placed emphasis on the Harrowing of Hell when he kicks in the gates to the Underworld, pimp slaps Satan and rescues a load of souls.

    That was just UCS-as-Jesus fighting the last Deathlord at Gehenna. The chronology got mixed up over time, and now we remember the Harrowing as happening after the Crucifixtion, when it actually happened before.

    Help me /tg/ I'm starting to scare myself with how much this all fits.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:19 No.7547711
    Well, the Bible is listed as an inspiration for Exalted.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:20 No.7547715
    How do world governments deal with Exalts?
    >> No Man 01/11/10(Mon)22:20 No.7547719

    Or Little Beam, a celestial god with an amazing boast: he is the son of the Unconquered Sun. No correction has been forthcoming from Sol Invictus.

    Also, Destiny Sponsorship by way of Saturn, the Maiden of Endings, who is confirmed for SUPER Tsundere for UCS, making it possible he is both the son of deaths that make way for new births AND the morally unimpeachable definition of excellence.

    I still like that the UCS was made to define what 'evil' was by being the opposing definition/defining the Dragon's Shadow.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:28 No.7547809
    It seems like being anything but a moderately powerful exalt wouldn't stop you from getting shot in the dome.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:29 No.7547831

    I'm pretty sure a Heroic Mortal could deflect or at least dodge bullets. Not all the time, and if he was built to favour Dex, obviously.

    A starting Solar shouldn't have too much trouble.
    >> No Man 01/11/10(Mon)22:32 No.7547863

    No, but Second Dodge Excellency, Infinite Dodge Mastery, and Flow Like Blood say hi.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:33 No.7547871
    I think the advent of guns should be a great leveller between humans and the supernatural. It's a purely mechanical process, possibly deriving from an Autocthonian incursion, which doesn't actually incorporate Essence and hence can't be used in conjunction with Charms. It is something humans can do that Exalts can't do better.
    >> No Man 01/11/10(Mon)22:46 No.7548036

    Except for multiplying bullets in midair.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:47 No.7548058
    I doubt firing homing bullets aren't hard, or better yet, homing bullets that pierce anything to reach the intended target.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:50 No.7548094

    By being governed by exalted.

    Terrifying Lust Infliction = Instantly leading in the poles.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:52 No.7548121

    >doesn't actually incorporate Essence

    Creation is made of essence. There is nothing that doesn't incorporate essence.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:55 No.7548163

    I think he meant that there is no "flow" of essence involved: the firing of a bullet is a purely mechanical/scientific process, which does suggest Autocthon has his hand in it somehow. However, once the bullet is in motion, I doubt there would be much stopping an Exalt stacking a few charms on it to up its potency. Hell, why not have the bullets made from the mystical matericals? Glorious Solar Orichalcum Bullets fuck yeah!
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:56 No.7548180

    Not if the means for making it come from outside of Creation. Who knows what freaking shit Autocthon found while he was out there?
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)22:58 No.7548194

    Anyway, Creation already has/had guns back in the first age. See: Wonders of the Lost Age.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)23:00 No.7548224

    Okay, how about the means and methods for nukes come from the Wyld? I dont think small arms should count.

    I agree that there should be some factors of modern technology that make Mortals a little more of a challenge for a Solar, though.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)23:03 No.7548261

    Or that nuclear anything is simply an attempt to weaponise the Wyld or use it as a power source.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)23:04 No.7548270
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    Enlighten your essence, then learn gun-fu terrestrial martial art.
    >> Anonymous 01/11/10(Mon)23:04 No.7548271
    >factors of modern technology that make Mortals a little more of a challenge for a Solar

    Damnit now I've got this mental image of a Dragon Blooded SWAT team storming the home of a Solar circle!
    >> Anonymous 01/12/10(Tue)00:28 No.7549347
    Which is awesome.

    What about depleted uranium shells?
    >> Anonymous 01/12/10(Tue)01:15 No.7549872
    They do that in one of the comics in Infernals. Unfortunately they then get HELLSTRIDER'D!
    >> Anonymous 01/12/10(Tue)01:17 No.7549899
    Righteous Devil Style?

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