>Warpdust-filled Space Hulk editionOriginal Thread: >>626402152nd Thread: >>626655593rd Thread: >>62676193>Sisters of Battle of the Order of the Golden Light stationed on the newly discovered medieval world get dragged into conflict because Magos explorator Fleet unearthed a Necron Tomb complex AND an Eldar Webway portal>Deathwatch shows up to help solve the problem.>Aeldari of the craftworld hugiv'safuk start invading because tomb world would have a staight shot to said craftworld>More AdMech from Stygies VIII show up>Chaos of almost every flavor shows up as well>Tzeentchians just kinda sit and laugh>Khornates woefully incompetent>Slaaneshis manage to corrupt Craftworld>Craftworld now radiating lewdification onto the world>women turn into bimbos, the degree of this corruption is measured by their acceptance of it>some men turn into women, some seem to be immune while others aren't>Rogue Trader Billy Mays dumps more Oxythrone on the world to cleanse it, a few people suffocate from all the ammonia>the AdMech magos dominus declares the world lost, conducts a poorly executed evacuation>Craftworld is gone (assumed corrupted by Slaanesh?)>Everyone is now on a Space Hulk controlled by new Slaaneshi cultist Billy Mays who gets likes to get high on Warpdust>Warpdust fumes are scattered through hulk, slowly lewdifying almost everyone inside it except 'crons and the Deathwatch marineIf participants want to go into more detail after this post, please do so.
>>62697237A group of Eldar from Craftworld Hugiv'safuk who were away when the Craftworld responded to the Necrons have boarded the Space Hulk in search of Oxythrone to purify Hugiv'safuk and rescue whatever soulstones remain.
>Our forces have taken heavy casualties traversing the Space Hulk>some have fallen to corrupted Orks or Mon-Keigh but many simply succumbed to the corruption and wandered off>Finally we have reached the some mutated but otherwise uncorrupted Mon-Keigh"Hail, I Autarch Belamyn Ytharl, we seek your aid in vanquishing the forces of She Who Thirsts and retrieving a powerful artifact to undo her corruption. It is a slim hope but if we wish to spare the galaxy this vileness we must ally together"
>Be Guardsman>Wake up and crawl out of a small mountain of beer cans, bottles, and kegs>What the fuck happened?>Nursing a throbbing hangover, try to get an idea of the situation>idontthinkwereinkansasanymore.toto>Realize I'm alone>Those fuckers probably forgot I exist... again...>Stagger to my feet and start walking in a random direction, not paying attention to the distinctively Aeldari fabrications in front of me
>>62697337"I recieve your call, Asuriyani of Hugiv'safuk!"The Craftworld is pretty fucked up right now, theres Orks and Chaos of all kinds, and the HONK button is stuck.I even think I saw the primarch Alpharius but I'm fairly certain that was a halucination.We're being flung down a webway to Isha-knows-where, I'm not sure whats happening right now!"
> Be I, Skitarii TX-24> Escaped the Horror-planet in the Mechani-copter> Magos Alexia still unconcious in back seat> Her legs are still blown off> Should probably fix that> Grab some robo-legs> Can't recall the prayer of implantation> Oh who cares, we're hereteks now anyway> Slam it on> Spread some necrodermis between the fleshy bits and metal bits> Spot Ark Mechanicus> Huzzah.Omnisiah> They might not be jazzed about the Heretekal shit going on> The one such as I decides we're out of options anyway> PunchItChewy.archaicreferencesIs the poster for Alexia still around or is TX-24's lady love gone for good?
>>62697619"You must have Isha's favor and the might of ten Aeldari to survive so long in such a tainted place. I am glad that our warriors were left in your capable hands in my absence. Fear not brave warrior we shall return with Oxythrone and cleanse our home. I look forward to meeting you in person">Realize I have no idea how I was just contacted>Or how I sent a message>Maybe this warp dust is getting to me>I'm pretty sure that desire to fuck my Farseer was there before>Geeze those Mon-Keigh sure are taking a long time to answer me
>Still dancingWhere the Astartes and Sororitas when you need them?
>Be Guardsman Duke>After a while of pained shambling, I finally come across some people>wait... shit>SHIT>They're Eldar...>...>Fuck it.>Might as well try and communicate with them, maybe I'll get some answers to what the fuck happened>Spot one with a particularly fancy helmet and assume they're in charge>nothingventured.vox>"'scuse me, I'm sorry to intrude but I'm horribly lost and very confused. Where am I, and what happened?"
>>62697772> Found a place on the world with no daemons in it> Blockade the door with a space-shelf> Suddenly start hearing voices> Answer voice> I'm going mad, aren't I> No Idea where we're going> I got a peak at our destination earlier, but don't know where it is> Somewhere called Comerarg> For some reason I feel like should have paid attention in Drukhari culture class at Elf-school> Stuff like that is probably why I had the job of looking at the portals all day> Wierd.Soulstone
>Get notified of all the crazy shit that happened while I was trying to save Sister Angela from becoming a completely overinflated bimbo>The Canoness is here>pleasedonttakeawaymybigtiddygf.lonely>stop running and try to reestablish contact>guesswhosback.slimshady>except I'm not slim I'm a bulky 8'7" giant but hey, details
>>62697843"Aboard a Space Hulk full of Orks and Slaaneshi sorcery. I presume by your befuddlement that you do not speak for your people. A pity but in the interests of cooperation I shall allow you to accompany us">UseTheMonkeighAsCannonFodder.dickery>>62697861>I can still feel a faint psychic connection to the brave general"I fear for you going to the city of the Dark Kin; but I suppose it is marginally safer than a possessed Craftworld."gnight fellow anons
>>62698472>Still dancing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Buhi-LrSUlkSir there's an elder group on the ship here, one of them tried to shoot me when I was pleading for the Emperor to help us on our demise, but I swiftly kick it in the crotch, hard in fact the armor cracked a little, but for some reason it didn't pain so it could be a female.Any suggestion sir?
>>62698575 Yes Guardsman, indeed. I say we collect all loyalist forces we know of and attempt to rectify this situation by the use of rebreathers and exorcism of necessary">but where do I get rebreathers>and how do you even exorcise someone I'm Deathwatch, not Grey Knights >I came here to purge xenos and impress bitches>and I'm all outta bitches>YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH.CSIMIAMI
>>62698498>Still Lord Savage>Aboard my ship>Apparently there are uncorrupted eldar trying to deal with the slaaneshis>Getting a bit bored>Attempt to contact the Eldar>"This is Lord Savage of The Screamers, although I do not speak for any other humans or that necron that was on the hulk, I offer the support of my forces to deal with the Slaaneshis">Hope that sorceror hasn't run away
>>62698498>Be Guardsman Duke>fuckyeah.voxcast>Thrilled that my odds of survival just increased, and I get to hang out with hot space-elf chicks>"Thank you, I'll do my best to help."
>>62698631>Still dancing>It's really soothing to here the voice of an astarte, especially at a time like thisThat is an excellent start sir, I could definitley use a rebreather mask as you can see, damn these warp dust.I must worn you that although it make not seem like it, my muscle are exhausted, as soon I get the mask and the warp dust is out of my system, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to move for a while, do you mind to carry for the time being until I can regain my stamina, sir?
>be kriegswoman>be on a space hulk>agriworlder pal nowhere to be found>crusader comrade turned into a woman>bitch threw a knife at the canoness>this guy can’t stop dancing>crusader thot cuts my rebreather tube>youfuckingskank.zip>try to find her>everything looks like a shovel>the walls begin to distort and fall>everything starts to give way to horrible visions>slink back to the corner into the fetal position>unable to cope with the strange form reality has taken>trazegors are everywhere>the crusader chick has a damn tail that talks>there’s bubbles all over>since when are they all under water?
>>62699152"Yes Guardsman, even the Deathwatch still obligate themselves to aid the less fortunate loyal servants of the emperor">See Kriegswoman collapse in the corner>snatch her up and put her over my shoulder>grab the guardsman>he's still trying to cha-cha-cha in my hrip>signal the canoness to grab the Crusader and Sister Gwyndolin>make my way towards a decrepit imperial ship>Holy emperor do I hope those Daemonettes in the distance don't spot us
>>62699389>be kriegswoman >a giant bear has picked me up off the ground to carry me back to his lair
>>62699389>Still dancing>Soul: Sweet Holy Terra I'm being held by an astarte, this is the greatest day in my life Oh no no sir, not now I can still move do to all this unholy warp dust, please don't waste your energy. When by my body drop of exhaustion that's when I'll need you help.
>>62699422>>62699455>set the Guardsman down>he's still doing the robot as he runs>haul the Kriegswoman fast as I can to a safer space>I'd deal with all this heresy in no time if the rest of my Kill Team was here>I miss Librarian Matteus, he was such a nice guy>stole everything tho, Bloody Magpies>Sister Angela is doing her best to keep up>where the fuck is the Canoness with Gwyndolin and Victor?
>>62698498>Be me.>Be running through halls chasing whatever the fuck was causing this that was on the pink pointie’s ship.>Encounter non-hostile knife ears.>Propose truce.>And ask if they have any spare bitches.
>Be me>Thosand Sons sorcerer>Fucking slanesshi shit>Always makes teleporting an experience>Where in Tzeentch's abstract urethra did i end up>Where's my team?>Looks like a space hulk>Use some of that good ol warpsight>Only "allies" are the slanesshi shits>And i have to walk there>Great
>Be Me>Be Nurgling, smelliest of bois>Been stuck on this Spess Hulk for, like, a whole forever!>Lots of stuff to explore!>myfavoritething.pox>I was lonely though...>notmyfavoritething.sad>Now there's a lot of people here to play with!>I'm so excited! I wonder what games they like to play?>I know! I'll go put on that funny green hat those boys in the green stuff like to wear! Maybe they'll let me play with them?
>>62701305>be pink horror>where is my friend blue horror>is that a nurgling?>he smells>but he looks so cute!>crawl around Spess Hulk, must find master and make plans to capture it!
>>62701786>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer>I got lost>By the glass gardens i got fucking lost>Ok let's try warpsight again>An faint non slanneshi energy appears>Wait is that a tzeenchian daemon>Might as well try to contact it>Open portal>Hopefully it'll get me where i want to>Here we go
Bump for more greentext, it'd be so sad to see this die so boringly!
Thousand sons sorcerer here, i'll be back in a couple hours, i better not see a dead fuckin thread when i come back
>>62701957>Auspex informs me of teleportation signature nearby >the Canoness and the other Sororitas have finally caught up>the Aussie Guardsman and Sister Mallilory seem to have found us as well>couldn't have been too hard considering all the strange things happening around us>fucking heretics are here too>at least it's not Slaanesh
>>62701957>Be Savorius, Sorcerer of the Thousand Sons>One of my brothers has been teleporting around>Sure, just as planned I guess>Tzeentch damnit, please don't get caught by all the Slaaneshi energies my brother>Send the tzaangors first, having tits does not reduce their combat ability>Ugh, better go find him actually>Teleport into the space hulk>Let's see...>There's an orgy of pink orks and fallen eldar right here, so I could be literally anywhere.>Fuck, not as planned
How is this not in /quest/.
>>62697237>Be me, unclean spirit>lesser Warp entity, not even worth the title Daemon>Barely even sentient>looking at the chaos and wonder how to best sate this hunger for fear and insanity>seems like half the Warp is here>most of them more powerful than me, and they constantly bully me about it>screw them, I'll go do my thing>my thing being possession>almost no potential hosts, all the weak-willed ones are already in the grip of Slaaneshi influence>excusemewhatthefuck.warpdust>guess I'll go possess some item then>find a book with chains around it at one corner of the Space Hulk, this looks important>"Something something Hereticus Tenebrae", can't into High Gothic and all these fancy letters, whatever>Now I have to wait for someone to find me
> be me> victoria samson> god fucking dammit why does it always happen like this> fucking dammit> fuckyouslaaneshs.ptsd> get set down near sororitas and canoness.> fucking lucky ass astartes with his sealed helmet. > dammit, I need a rebreather> why didn't I think to bring two spares? > feel the air clear a little bit. > collapses against a wall.> try to catch my breath> fucking hell I'm a woman now, dammit> goodbye old friend you shall be remembered.
>>62702923Because it's not driven by a single Author but is instead free RP. Also /qst/ tends to be very serious, this is one gigantic shitpost
>>62703225>must find master>find book>is there any plans in there?>OHWHATTHEBIRD.NOTGOOD
>>62703963>Wait for a human to arrive>Instead it's a daemon>Ohshit.astropathicmessage>why are you reacting like that? >please be reacting to the book, not me>don't want to get my essence consumed by the more powerful Warp entity, have to keep it cool and stay still, maybe I haven't been found out yet
>>62702923anons need to fap to something.
>>62704572>the book is about the hereticus tenebrae>something even those most blessed by lord Tzeentch have never quite understood>I must bring this to a master!>better not look at it for too long>well, maybe just a quick peek...
>>62702450>>62702883>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer>Finally out of the portal, felt like hours>No daemon in sight>I'm starting to revile these warp portals>Where did i end up now>Start to hear another adeptus astartes going on about heretics>Ohfuck.warp>However, i can feel another sorcerer's soul in thr ship>If i teleport, i might end up in outer space>But if i try to get there on foot i'll surely be detected>Aplan.lord_of_change>I could send a psychic scream, silent enough that non psykers won't notice a fucking think>I hope those false emperor worshipping fools don't have a psyker
>>62702450>Still dancingSir, do you have any ideas of where we may find those who are loyal to the Emperor?
>>62705299>releasing the book from its chains, the daemon finds out this is a foolish mortal's research notes about the prophesy of darkness he seems to have gotten quite far, connecting the dots between the Seven Devils of Dread Calyx and the foretold Herald>the Inquisitor who wrote this seems to have known more than even Tzeentch... Well, more than Tzeentch ever told you is more probable. Tzeentch knows everything.>He even seems to have pinpointed the place the foretold gathering will take place, just a few more pages and you will know just what has to be done->The book's last pages are obscured by the formless oily apparition that is the incorporeal form of an Unclean Spirit>The creature screeches and the book begins to float away, escaping from you as fast as it can down the Space Hulk's corridors
>>62703377>be big tiddy Krieger>big tiddy crusader broke my respirator and now I’m tripping balls“WHY DID YOU DOOO THIS! THE WALLS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE WALLS YOU FLOOSY!?”
>>62703377>Be big titty sister of Battle>Be with brand new crusader GF?>Maybe?>Definitely a sign from the Emperor though>Especially with the milf-canoness“Lovely Crusader, we are continuously assaulted by Heresy because they can smell the righteous scent of the space marine. We must mask his scent with the mists around us.”
>>62705490> fuuuuuuuuuuckI'M SORRY OKAY! I'M SORRY!> grab breezy into a hug> fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck> place Breezy's head in between breasts. > shakes her back and forth
>>62705580>Still dancingHey sir look, it's an adeptus sororitas.>SalutesIt's a pleasure to meet you>>62705586>Soul: Thats hot
>>62705586“Marisa stop!”>wait a minute...>WAIT A MINUTE!>WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE!>this isn’t marisa
>>62705805> eek> drop the kriegerSorry sorry sorry!> fuckmylife.vox> why am I a hormonal woman.
>>62705653>Oh hey, this guy can’t stop dancing>Must Be affected by the mist>...>Why doesn’t he have tits?“It’s a pleasure to meet you to.”>Can’t stop imagining him with tits>I’d say I need therapy>But this is obviously the god emperor’s plan
>Be me, Sergeant Eisen Martellus. >Be a Primaris Reiver sent in to space hulk to recover technology and artifacts, after a call for help was sent out.>Be stuffed into boarding torpedo, along with 9 other reivers, and two, five man squads of Intersessors, while the rest of the company begins looting the rest of the space hulk>Boarding torpedo begins cutting through hull, before planting us directly inside of the Hulk's inner workings.>Auspex shows air to be filled with chemical crap.>FuckSlanessh.png>Quickly push our way inside, and split up into kill team. >Oh yeah! I can't forget... Be apart of the Marines Malevolent's 4th Company.
>>62706108> find someone hugging Breezy,> someone that isn't me> bitchitsmyjobtohugeveryone.smileso ummm..... what do we do now? > where do we go from here> I need orders.
>>62706266“Insure that you’ve gotten a good lungful of these gasses. If you do, the heretical beasts cannot find you as easily.”
>>62706108>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer>Well that didn't work>Might as well start going through this mess>What the fuck is wrong with the air>It smells like a dead eldar orgy, even after being purified by my mask>Maybe i could get a daemonic portal going>That be nice, with pink horrors, and warpshit>Wait is that one of those Sisters of Battle>With a krieger in a really big woman's mammary containers>And somebody dancing>Maybe i could sneak>Nah>How about a...fucking tzeentch how was it called>Oh yeah, some flickering flames should really fuck with thems>Start channeling warp energy >Might as well go full sorcerer>"WITNESS THE POWER OF CHAOS, FEEBLE MORTAL FOOLS">Also that aught to attract my brother here
>>62706122>Be watching some more marines arrive>Primaris? Big whoop, fuck those guys>Wait>Wait>Wait>Marines Malevolent?>Those guys are the biggest assholes in the galaxy.>Hehehe>Just a little manipulation of fate>A bit of tinkering with reality...>And boom!>The filtration system on their helmets is down, and backup air tanks are disabled>This should be interesting>The Tzaangors bring popcorn>And regular corn
>>62706287>As if on cue, a book floats by you at jogging speed>clearly a sign that the effects of the gas hid you from whatever that was>>62706314>Said book is now floating towards you>Your shout seems to scare it off, though, as it turns to another corridor, still fleeing from the pink horror that may or may not be giving chase anymore
>Now break dancing>>62706266Oh hi Marisa.>>62706287Trust me ma'am, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't inhale the unholy mist, it's the reason why some turn to girl and why I can't stop dancing.>>62706314What the fuck!Sir, ma'am, there's traitor here.
>>62706378> jump to her feetSamuel!> hug the man> smiling radiantly beneath her helmetI've missed you! how have you been?
>>62706266>>62706073>look to one>look to the other>look to one>look to the other“WHY ARE THERE TWO MARISAS!?”
>>62706586u-ummm Breezy.... I'm Victor... This gas.... turned me female> fucking slaanesh> I bet she was behind this.
>Still dancing>>62706461>Brain cell 265: Sir the female name Marisa is touch.>Soul: So?>Brain cell 265: With her whole body, what do we do?>Soul: Um, um, um um um>Brain cell 867: Sir, blood is going towards the penis. Should we allow erect?>Soul: Definitley not, this is not a good time to have that, epically with the size the warp taint gave us, Emperor know what could happen. Ok let me handle thisHug are nice Marisa, especially when you're the one giving them, but please hug me later when I stop dancing, I really don't want to bring harm to you, also we're dealing with that piece of shit over there who's about to cast some shit.>Point at >>62706314
>>62706122>Get report from a marine breaching torpedo attaching to the ship>It's Reivers and Intercessors>someonemysize.happy>place beacon in vox network, I need them to help me with all these troubled mortals and overly busty Sororitas>except two of the Sororitas, they're mine, no touching>I'm sure the fellow Astartes are part of some nice chapter>Salamanders or Dorns Yellow Boyes would be great here
>>62706637> separate from him, somewhat depressed.O-oh.... okay. Sorry Sam> step back, he continues to dance. > look at Victor and Breezy> pull them both into a hugI'm glad you both are alive.> smileofhappiness.innocence.
>>62706344>"Master! Master! Did you not see the floating book?" >It's all part of Lord Tzeentch's plan!>we must acquire this book!
>>62697237>Be the golden hero>Be really glad that all those psychos left to space>now if there only was slightly less oxythrone whatsthat around...
>>62706664>>62706637>Be Thousand Sons sorcerer>By the gods am i that fucking boring>This shit is hard to mantain>And i swear i saw a flying pink horror carrying a book>Only one of them has even noticed me>Ok let us try something different>"LOOK, I KNOW YOU MUST BE REALLY HAPPY HAPPY TO EACH EACH OTHER ALIVE, BUT CAN YOU AT LEAST DEAL WITH THE CHAOTIC MARINE CASTING WARPFIRE">It's like the service years on that iron warriors ship all over again
>Still dancing>>62706776Thats what I was saying you traitorous scumbag.
>>62706344>Be bored Khornate>No idea what shenanigans are going on on the hulk>Maybe the sorceror knows?>Call him up"Hey, book boy, can you use your magic shit to see what's going on on that hulk, I'm getting bored and want to see if there's anything i can steal"
>>62706838>Oh hey, it's the nice Khornate"Yep. Got it on crystal ball right now. Some marines malevolent boarded a bit ago and I'm seeing if I can't turn them into chicks."
>>62706878>It's the fucking piss marines>Remember I've been collecting their helmets since I killed a champion of theirs some time back>Get my thunderhawk called up>Pick up the champion's helmet>Hang it from my pauldron>"Alright, I'm going to to fuck with them a bit"
>>62706976>Hooray>The tzaangors have fetched my armchair>Double hooray"See if you can make them breathe in as much of that pink mist as possible. They say that the Primaris Marines are "immune to corruption",>Munches popcorn"But that is grox shit. Nothing is immune to corruption."
>>62706701>finally find out the reason I am chased>need to figure out a way to escape, can't stop to separate from the book>suddenly, inspiration>can get instant pass into the safety of the Warp if the book is destroyed>there are Sororitas present>turn back and float threateningly at the sororitas, one of them isbound to have a flamer
>>62706810>>62706878>Oh fuck this>Throw the flames in their general direction>Good enough for me>Try to send a message to my brother>"Hey, i don't where in this forsaken hulk i am, but i saw a pink terror grappling with a flying book, so some tzeenchtian shit is going down">Hopefully the slanesshi influence doesen't distort the message>Cast portal near the group>"ENJOY THE WARP'S NEVERENDING RIDE">Hopefully it'll just leave the pricks in space>And now time to find that book
>>62707014"I have a cunning plan">Land Thunderhawk somewhere safe>Send out a universal vox message>>62706122"Forces of the Marines Malevolent, I am Lord Savage, I offer you an opportunity to avenge a fallen champion of your chapter, meet me here and I will take you all on alone">Send a nearby location with a large quantity of pink dust>Prepare myself
>Still dancing>See chaos fireballLOOK OUT!!!>Dodges fireball with back flips>Portal out of nowhereFuck, hang on to something!>Grabs something attach to wall for dear life
>>62707149> grab on to nearby bulkhead> fuckfuckingfuck. > fireball goes careening into portal. > start screaming inside of helmet..
>>62707066>Return to scene to hopefully get the book burned to escape back into the Warp>just a few moments too late to get in way of that fiery blast>there is a warp portal>immediately begin floating towards it, beyond it is safety of the Warp
>>62707114>Be me.>Be pissed as hell Overlord.>Piss-yellow hardcases threaten to ruin fun.>Intercept Lord-bro’s vox.>Disgonbegud.gauss>Run over to assist in whatever plan he’s got.
>>62707337>That pimped out necron turns up"Oi, wanna help with my cunning plan to turn the pissmarines into girls?>So far I've befriended a bookfucker and a necron, what is even going on with my life anymore.
>>62707375“You know it bro.”>Order hoe army and Necron task force to hide so they can apprehend the cunts.>Hide myself as well.
>>62707449> be me> now female ex black templar chaplain> now alpha bitch of necron pimp lord's army of hoes. > hide close to overlord> Crozius cane in hand> by the emperor how has someone managed to craft shoes so uncomfortable> and this dress itches in the worst places as well> hide my discomfort from the dress riding up and ready bolt pistol to defend my lord in the inevitable case that this plan goes pear shaped.
>>62707149>>62707259>>62707332>They're all now hanging to sweet dear life>Loveit.Tzeentch>See something trying to fly into the portal>Wait>It's the book>If i fucking lose it, all of it's sweet, forbidden knowledge will be lost>Notonmywatch.prospero>Think quickly on how to go fast enough>Idea.warp>Rip one layer of metal of the hulk>Hop onto it and push it with my pskyer powers>Here we fucking go>Reach and grab the book>Gotcha.pink_daemon>Wait the portal>Try to force myself back>No chance>Grab the dancing fool>And now we enter the realm of fuckery>Hope i end up somewhere that isn't outer space
>>62707449>Now we wait>Wonder what happened to those robots I left behind on the craftdildo>Hopefully they survived, will have to look for them later
forgot the image
>Be me, very young apprentice inquisitor>Get sent on a mission by our inquisitor to eliminate potential heresy with my friends> fieldtrip.jpeg>Wearing a sweat-ass power armor with a sniper rifle, having the best start in my career possible>Some cultists decided to summon deamons, have little bullets so decided to headshot them all>Dunno how but it actually worked>Last deamon decided to get up close and looks rapey, so I do a 360 no-scope. >Praytheemperor.mp3>MFW I actually kill him>Felt like a badass for the next few days, until assholes cultists performs a ritual a teleport the planet into the warp and half of my friends either dies or joins chaos>Wakes up on emperor knows where>Dunno how I got here but I feel I joined another shitshow
>>62707531>Fucker grabs meYou son of a bi->Enter portalFuck shit shit fuck>See all chaos shit>Soul: Emperor please help me>Grabs books>Opens itIf you don't bring us back, I will rip and destroy this!
>>62707531>Take the opportunity and separate from the book>vanish into the unholy energies of the Warp, safe from predations of more powerful Warp entities>The book, should it survive the warp transit is now in the Sorcerer's hands>As one with a better grasp of High Gothic and curly writing, as well as last bits of chain having fallen off the cover during the chase, you can immediately read the full name of the book which translates roughly to "Findings on the Malefic: Hereticus Tenebrae and its implications"
>>62707673>>62707698>Surfing down the warp currents>Alright, just search for a current that hopefully doesn't drop me in another system>Hear my captive scream something about ripping something>How is he managing to stay sane>Yell at him>"DESTROY THAT AND I'LL IMPLODE YOUR HEART">See spirit leaving the book>Fucking great, the only reliable guide in this oceanic shitstorm is gone>Just trace myself to the nearest chaotic energy>Khronate>Fuck it, better than staying in the warp for infinity>But now i have the book>It better be fucking worth it
>See some hole is the warp, one looks like the inside of the ship I was just on.>That is the ship I was just on>Grab >>62707898 by the helm>Uses his body as a launch pad>Goes inside holeSee ya faggot.
>>62707898>Sorceror appears infront of me>Not my sorceror friend"You're not a fucking pissmarine, the fuck are you doing here?"
>>62707898>delivers sensual headpats
>>62705580>>62703377>>62706640>>62706073>>62706287>>62706621>Be Canoness Helga of the local Order of the Golden Light>watching over what's left of the dregs and schola dropouts the Order gave Tiddius Majoris to work with>FrakkingEccelesiarchalBureaucrats.righteousfrustration>Warp dust has turned all the already lewdified sisters I've found into perverts making out with clearly warp-tainted women>I'm slowly being affected by the warp dust myself too>Definitely going to need new armor after this>FlashbackstoInnocenceVIfiasco.ptsd>Only beacon of sanity seems to be Primaris Deathwatch Marine that looks like he's from the Dark Angels chapter>He seems rather... attached to Sister Mallory and Sister Angela>PossibleImpureDesires.heresy?>Decide not to say anything since I'm kinda fantasizing about what he looks like under that helmet myself>NotLewdJustCurious.honest>Smack Sister Gwyndolin in the head for suggesting the others breathe in more warp dust.>"I think we've all had enough gasses for the time being Sister.">Except the Deathwatch Marine>Throne he's probably super hot under that helmet>Raise my flamer and look around for any Slaaneshi daemons that might be nearby>Wonder why no one has tried to contact Tiddius Majoris' planetary governor>That paper-pushing fatass and the administratum was on one of the planet's three moons, he shouldn't be affected by corruption yet>...right?
>>62708022>Ask if he brought either hoes or swag.>Gotta get that bling or those bitches.
>Be apprentice inquisitor>Apparently there's warp fuckery everywhere, dunno how the fuck I got here and everyone is batshit insane>Don't have many bullets for my sniper, better not shoot everything that lives>Wish someone could pick me up and explain everything>MFW when I see warp dust everywhere>pleasenotthisshitagain.jpeg
>Drops in front of Breezy and MarisaOwHey, I'm alive.>Tries to move but muscle is exhausted from endless dancingI can't move but I'm alivehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DJY5aihSKsHey Marisa I could really use that hug now.>Common Sense Brain Cell: Sir we just went threw the warp>Soul: Oh shit you're right umScratch that let me get checked first.Thank the Emperor I'm alive.
>>62706344>Be me, Sergeant Eisen Martellus. Primaris Reiver of the Marines Malevolent.>Be walking through the space hulk. Grav-chute all fleek, four and a half foot long knife, glimmering like a boss. When suddenly the Intersessors start complaining about their wargear not functioning properly >Betchaoshadsomethingtodowiththis.gif>They end up taking off their helmets, and quickly rework the internals, within less than a minute.>Thank Papa Pater Cawl, for giving us all the proper rites to fix and maintain our own wargear.>We keep going, though I make sure to keep an eye on the Intersessors.>Call me crazy, but I'll stab anyone who starts screaming that I should suck their dick...>>62706640>>62707114>Eventualy start hearing about two different calls.>Caller ID says ones chaos, the other one is some pussy dark angel, bitch.>Send them both to voicemail, before homing in on the marine's signal, and walk towards it.>Bet he'll have an unfortunate accident *just* before we get there... Probably with an unfortunate knife to the back of his skull.>And if he dies... well, who's to say soneone shouldn't take his stuff, and gift it to our chapter?
>>62707994>>62708022>>62708105>Wait what are you doing>The fucker uses me as a launchpad>He still has the book>Waitno.chaos>Too late>Appear out of the warp>Finally, coherent colours>Almost makes me forget the SEETHING RAGE of losing my book>Hear a voice>Must be the Khronate>He's asking what am i fucking doing here"Your signal was the fucking closest thing to get me out of the warp""Besides, what's a pissmarine, do you mean an Imperial Fist?">What other chapter could have "piss" as it's paint colour>Oh wait, Marines Malevolent>Just as i'm about to leave to get my fucking book back, a metallic voice asks for hoes"Is that a fucking Necron?'>Wheredidiendup.warp
>>62707898>>62708189aside from the value of knowledge for the sake of it, the book is now worthless. It could have had a more profound effect some 200+ years earlier, but now it only has knowledge no one can really use in a meaningful way. Tzeentch would have most certainly liked getting it, though.
>>62708234knowledge for it's own sake is the best knowledge
>>62708080> oh shit...> she looks.... familiarPardon me Canoness... but you weren't present at the fall of the Innocence IV convent were you?
>>62708151YOU'RE ALIVE> exclaim happily> hug Samuel happilyI was so worried, please don't do that again. Are you okay? Is anything broken, how did you even get here? > tearsofjoy.relief
>Brain Cell 745:Sir I'm getting reading that the warp dust is entering our system again.>Soul: Again? I thought that portal sucked it out all out of the ship>Brain Cell 745: Yes but not enough sir.>Soul: Well, how much did we inhaled?>Starts doing the tango with >>62708336>Brain Cell 014: More that enough apparentlyNo more, please no more, my muscle are aching, can some find a rebreather?>Soul: By the Emperor why, fucking chaos and their chaotic bullshit, atleast we're alive. For now. *sigh*
>>62708189>Two saved Bookfuckers so far>>62707014>Call up my sorcerer friend"Found another sorcerer, what do you want me to do with him"
>be greater daemon of shamwow>be thirsty af>slaanesh is sensually whispering in my ear>fuck this person, fuck that person, be a slutty lewd fuck>thow excessive amounts of warp dust in more places>dreams of selling things across the sector are long gone>this hulk is my home now>OoooOOOoooOOOooohhh CANONESS!>>62708080>materialize out of the mist behind that bitch"HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH AN EXCITING NEW OFFER: A FISTFUL OF WARP DUST!"
>>62708420> she grabs her rebreather and shoves it onto his face..> oh shit.... this was a mistake. > immediately grabs the canoness and begins to do the tango with her. I'M SORRY!> smiles apologetically> radianceofathousandsuns.cute.
>be me, Eisel Martellus.>Start silently singing in my head as we walk, because no one can tell me not to.>Making my way downtown.mp4>Gonna plant explosives on a Warpdrive>with my primaris friends.mp4>My bitch gonna make me a sandwich!.mp4>Nanananana!>Collateral damage!>Nananana!>Fuck you all up now!>Nananana!>Fuck all this fucking warp dust!>Nananana!>No more spaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaa aaaaace hulk!
>Be a sneeky git>I painted meezelf the color purple so dey kant seez me>kommandoonamission.sneeky>dont reely know how I got 'ere>last I rememberz that git of a weirdboy wuz doin sum funny what did 'e call 'em?>experements, ye dats it>anywayz he zaps me wit dis funny ray and 'ere I pop on sum big ship>looks old>might as well see what I can find>maybe there be sum boyz around >oh wait theyz kant be able to see me, Im purple>zog it letz see what I can find on dis 'ere wreck, maybe sum scrap
>Restarts to dance>Places rebreather back on >>62708514Marisa trust you do not want to suffer this way. This warp dust will remove your free will of having motor skills.
>Be apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and sniper rifle>I try my best not to breath the warp dust, no way in hell I'm getting teleported again>Walks in a general direction in front of me until I meet someone>Starts checking what do I have in my inventory: two pistols with 4 full magazines each, a sniper rifle with two full magazines, a nice knife and yellow warp gel the cultist assholes used to bring me into this mess>Notice I don't have any food>At least it can't get any worse
>Still dancing>>62708485Too late deamon.
>>62708514>glares at the cuteness dancing with the cannoness>its exessively cute>sooo fucking cute>grab the Private>run off down the hall towards my ship>be butt fucking naked
>>62708577> she looks around for someone> gets grabbed > ohshitwhat.warp> oh hey there's a personummmm..... excuse me person, but everyone else is back that way. Can you put me down?
>Still danceHey come back here!>Chases after >>62708608 by prancing like a ballerina
>>62698986>Some Khornate contacted us. They aren't known for trickery but it seems prudent to ignore the agents of the ruinous powers.>>62699059>The Guardsman starts following the War Party>>62699855>A Necron>There are better allies but at least they are civilized>Surely they won't suddenly and inevitably betray us>Plus that armored woman with him is kind of hot>wait.soulstone>Don't think lewd thoughts"Very well Necrontyr. We shall put aside our ancient enmity and ally">Turn towards sexy- I mean armored woman>TotallyInControl.pathoftheleader"And may I ask your name Mon-Keigh? Have your people made alliance with the Necrontyr?"
>>62708651> oh shit Marisa just got stolen> OHHELLNO.RAGEGET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING WHORE > charge after the slaaneshi daemonette trying to kidnap hi- her comrade.
>>62708608>Stop singing and moving, as I hear the thumping of oversized, overweight feet, stomping down the hallway.>Betitsnurgle.png>Tell everyone to get into cover.>After a moment, a large, overweight fatass of SLANESSH, comes running along. Some mortal woman in its sweaty hands>Lookatthoseruckingcankles!.jpeg.>Let the fatass run past with its prize. We've got better things to do.>Neetsgonnaneets.gif>Keep making my way downtown.
>>62708721> sprint past astartesGET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!> power claymore in hands> WHY DID THESE LADY LUMPS HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING LARGE
>Been half an hour I started walking>Why is it so hard to find anyone?>Remember I had junk from a dubious toaster-fucker, said it was a repaired vox-caster>Better than die of starvationIs anyone alive on this emperor-forsaken whatever fuck hole this is?
>>62708694> look at the Eldar> oh great an eldar> arrogantbastards.rude> stands to full height, > tower over the woman> what a.... well made posterior> I'm gonna claim you for my lordMarietta Alfred, a..... pleasure.
>>62708772>Be Eisen Martellus.>Be starring blankly, at the stupidity that has started running past me and my brothers.>After a moment, finally manage a blink.>Mortals are weird...>Shrug, as it's not my problem whatsoever >We've got a space hulk to blow up, and 47.49 billion lives, out of 48.21 billion, to end.>All to stop an ork waaaagh, of only a few tens of thousands.>More than acceptable collateral damage.>Keep making my way towards the Warpdrive.
>>62708791> see some kid as I'm carried past.> wave to the kid with a brilliant smileHello~ I'm alive... can you help me. > no seriously can someone tell this woman to stop.> wait....> amIgettingkidnapped.airhead
>>62708568>be sneeky git>wanderin around dis wreck>its big>might be wunna does space hulkz dat the boss wuz talking about>anyway>itz quiet in 'ere, no one around>or at leest I dont fink so>wats dis I hear?>it's arguin or its fightin>letz go dat way>kreepin up an I see wunna dem long ear gits>zog>they neva be fun, tellyport in, make sum funny bizniz an' then tellyport out>I'm gonna stab him>good fing they kant see me, cause I'm purple>zog>theyre be wunna does robot gits as well, why they not fightin, 'ent they enemees or sumthin'?>eh, more gits to stab>get me trustee choppa and start sneekin'>'erewego.gorkan'mork
>Standing around>Looks like that Khronate guy is trying to contact someone>Wait, isn't warp usage taboo for Khornates?>Notlikeigiveashit.daemon>Might as well try to find my fucking book>But how>I know, i'll use the warp to attach myself to something's vision>Might as well use that book stealing fool's eyes to see if he still has it (>>62708651)>Concentrate>Itisagoodpain.psyker>Finally connect and...what the fuck am i seeing>Is that a female astartes chasing a fat fucking slanesshi daemon>Lady astartes swerves and chases something else>Cut signal>I wish i had popcorn>Or aledari soulstones, they make a most pleasinf sound when crushed
>Running towards the >>62708608 by prancing>See that the deamon have balls>Souls:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2_lJ2bGltEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5YQGS2wrVU
>>62708830>See someone getting carried away, but too dark to see the kidnapper>BlessTheEmperorImNotAlone.voxcast>Starts running after her, try to look intimidating to the kidnapperSTOP YOU... YOU... FIEND BEFORE I EXTERMINATE YOU AND... FLAY YOU ALIVE AND STUFF!
>>62708105>It seems the piss marines aren't coming>Guess I'll go hunt them down>Ask the necron if he wants to come with>>62708863>Ask the sorcerer if he can locate them for me
>>62708643>be stealing hoe>gonna add it to the collection of hoes on the ship>some soon-to-be faggots are chasing me>didn't even make them faggots>everyone is just turning into women and getting bigger tits for whatever reason>its just breathable drugs>these people are more heretical than me>slither faster back to the ship>maybe I can teach them my new religion>oh yeah Im carrying a human>hello human>god this bitch is adorable
>>62708876>>62708896>>62708863>>62708949>during the chase, the book captured from the Sorcerer falls to the floor with one of the last pages open>an illustration of an insane clockwork mechanism shown on the pages along with a note that reads "The beginning and the end" can be seen on the page
>Sing The Nutcracker: MarchDu nu, nu nu, du nu, nu nu, du nu, nu nu, nu nu.KICK!>Kicks >>62708949 so hard in the back of the head almost everyone heard a load CRACK.
>>62708827>Be savorius>Damn asshole marines managed to fix their air filters>This calls for more drastic measures>...mainly just breaking them again really>But MORE this time>Let's see...>Proper frequency>Tensile Strength>Pressure differences>Then add in a dash of warp magic to make it all fall into place and...>There we go, that should have cursed the filtration systems on their power armor>...>And also on power armor in general in the area around them.>Isn't Savage over there too?>...>Shit he's going to be getting a mouthful of that mist too
>>62708949>Be me, apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor equipped with a sniper rifle, lost on emperor knows where>A gal asks me for help and being chasing her since>sees >>62709005 kicking a deamon so hard I can hear it crack>what an absolute madman>mfw I see the deamon turning back and it looks really rapey
>>62709005>turn head all the way around>eyes wide"Uh nuh uh!">use one of my eight arms to grab the cunt
>>62708949> start beating on the woman's backHELLLLP~> see victor running after meVICTOR HELP!
>>62709021>Start smelling that fucking dust>Oh fuck>Pray to Khorne for protection>No reply>Guess I'm gonna have to find these Marines before my inevitable feminisation>>62708863>Grab the sorcerer, start running
>>62709076 RIP Savage's corruption-free life
>>62709049> the woman stops> jump forward and move to slice off the arms holding her comradesUNHAND MY COMRADES YOU CUNT!
>>62709053>Daemon->No...>Well, yes>Daemon who is unwittingly serving the Emperor by spreading this wonderful mist is kidnapping aqauntainces>Following after"You must breathe in the mist! It's stupid heretic brain can't notice you if you breathe the mist!">Totally rational>Not at all insane
>Gets grab by >>62709049>Inside the brain everyone is panicing>Soul: Quick pull a Kratos>Brain Cell 581: A what?>Soul: Gouge her fucking eyes out>Gouges >>62709049 eyes out>Deamon blood spray everywhere
>>62709107> call back over her shoulderIF YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE TO BREATHE THE MIST, I WILL CUT OFF YOUR TITS!
>>62708914>>62708998>The Khronate wants me to locate pissmarines>Tell him that i can, but no portals, the slanneshi influnce is too strong>Alright how could i do this?>Guess i'll>Wait what was that>OH SHIT IS MY BOOK>Run towards it>The book appears to have landed on a picture of a heavily corrupted clockwork>"The beggining of the end. What am i supposed to do with this information">Still, i hang it on my belt>Time to find pissmarines>Wait maybe that woman astartes can help>Connect to her>Itisagreatpain.overtake>She's chasing something>It's yellow and dosen't seem to give a shit>Yeah, Marine Malevolent>Sever link>Turn to Khronate"Found one of them. About two or three corridors from here, if the warp didn't distort what i saw""Now let's get moving,i have a great deal of curiosity to see what patterns warpfire gives to ceramite armor">Burn the false emperor's cultists>I love irony
>>62708272>Be Canoness Helga>Obviously warp tainted crusader is asking me if I was on Innocence IV>"No, I was on Innocence VI, two planets out, when it was hit by Slaanesh cultists dumping warp dust into the atmosphere. It was... not pleasant.">WhoamIkiddingitwashot.mildheresy>>62708485>Suddenly grabbed by female guardswoman and forced into a tango>FullDrillSargeantMode.activated>"UNHAND ME-">>62708608>>62708485>Suddenly get a fistful of warp dust thrown in my face and guardswoman is snatched by a fat greater daemon of Slaanesh named 'Billy Mays'>Coughing heavily, inhaling way too much concentrated warp dust>Oh for God-Emperor's sake not again>Feel my already large bust get heavier and suddenly very aroused. Rear is probably plumper too>SexyMilfCanonessIsEvenSexierNow.warpdust>"Damn it, not again!">>62708772>>62709045>>62709049>>62709053>>62709106>Chase after the Crusader with my flamer ready to burn daemonette alive>Would grab my chainsword, but I don't have time>I've seen what Slaanesh daemons do to people, I don't want that cure private to get corrupted by that.>"Stand and... ha... face me Slaaneshi whore.">>62709107>Hear Gwyndolin spouting practically heretical nonsense>swat in the back of head with my gauntlet>"SISTER GWYNDOLIN! CONTROL YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU STAYED TO DIE ON TIDDIUS MAJORIS!"
>>62708745>What is a pleasure chaplain>Who cares I just want her to dominate me like the dirty eldar slu->No!>Bad thoughts!"Uh pleasure to meet you. My warband and I are looking for the Oxyclean that we sensed on this ship. It is of vital importance to both our people that we obtain it."
>>62709076>Feel an arm around my helm>Wait what is happening>I don't think he heard me>And why is the the dead eldar orgy smell coming back>Oh shit
>>62709076"Sup bro">>62709094"I got you, anti-warp fuckery in every box of Khorne Flakes, here you go. Just go grab me some nerd skulls and we even"
>>62708694>>62708851>be sneeky git>I fink I'm close enouff now that dey wont see me komin'>me choppa iz ready>timetosneek.purple> oi wats diz>there be more than the long ear and da bot>there be 'umies as well>zog, lets see if I can screw wti dem>sneekytime.mork>go up to wunna the humies and take sumfing off 'is belt an throw it at the long ear>this'll give me a right laff>lets see if they find out>timetozog.gork
>>62709021>Be me, Eisen Martellus. Primaris Reiver sergeant.>Finally manage to make it to the nearest Warpdrive on this forsaken space hulk.>Order the Intersessors to start overloading it, as well as to upload program "Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot Echo November Bravo Alpha Charlie Hotel- Can Can.">While this is happening, the Intersessors begin complaining about their respirators not functioning.>They spend several moments trying to fix it., But to no avail.>It seems it's actually broken...>BetChaossucksdickforcrack.png>No matter.... Once this Warpdrive overloads. The fifty thousand Orks below, will be annihilated, along with 47.71 billion of the total 48.21 billion humans below.>That'll stop the orks, before they can POSSIBLY make their waaagh a reality!>Once everything is in place, the speakers all across the ship, similatiously activate. https://youtu.be/4Diu2N8TGKA
>>62709113>smack him in the face with a fistfull of warp dust>smack him with another hand>and another cause I got limbs to spare>>62709106>grab this cunt by the crotch before throwing her into the wall>laugh like a mad lad even though Im missing an eye>Oh canoness is moving again>wave to the canoness>Ima sell that bitch so much pyromethium>bolter bitches love pyromethium
>>62709141> see the canoness with a flamerIf you use that and burn my comrades, I'll show you why you found nothing left to purge when you arrived at the convent on Innocence IV
>>62708949>Be apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor equipped with a sniper rifle>It was supposed to be a simple mission, kill "potential" heretics, gets teleported in s shithole and now facing a greater deamon>starts shooting with my twin pistols>>62709141>Now there's another gal I don't know>>62709107>Tells us to breath the dust, like I'm gonna use warp fuckery again, no teleportation ever>>62709133>This guys seems pretty chill, I'd do worse probably if a crazy bitch like that tries to bullshit me like this
>>62709181> pull hotshot laspistol out of holster, > put it into the daemonette's mouth> pull the triggerLET GO OF ME YOU FIEND!
>>62709201>head gets blown off"Uh nuh uh!">be missing my head>don't give a shit>we going to this ship nigga>start running up the boarding platform into thicker warp mist
>>62709162>Drop Sorcerer now I know where I'm going>>62709164>Feel some kind of corruption war raging throughout my body>>62709172>Burst into the room with the Pissmarines>Axe and pistol ready"Sup bitches"
>>62709221HELLLLLLP!> squirm a little> fall out of her arms> sprint in the opposite directionAAAAAAAAAAA> hide behind canoness> tears in eyesPlease kill that thing... please just kill it.> Puppydogeyes.pict
>Gets slapped >Still dance>I'm already affected by your warp dust foul slut!>That slap really hurts tho>See >>62709201 shoot>>62709181 in the mouthGood job Marisa!>>62709221 Still movesFucking chaos and it's groxshit>Jumps on to >>62709221, wrap my legs on her neck and a choke hold and continue to gouge her eyes out even moreTake this bitch, let here go
>>62709221>deamon's fleeing with the gal>don't want to be left alone gain>Jumps on the deamon's back, sometimes I wish I would think things through before doing it>gal escpaing the deamon>fuckme.jpeg
>>62709223>Be following close behind.>Order army of hoes to flood piss hardcases, while necrons and ranged hoes shoot,>Personally challenge the fanciest cunt to a fight.
>>62709262>>62709283>become one with the mist once again>disappate into gas>as he vanishes you hear a faint"Uh nuh uh!">daemonettes start appearing from all sides>they're making out>they're fingering>they notice you>you are now on the craftworld
>>62709283> grab boltgun off of sling> fire at >>62709221 legs> empty the magazine as it clicks empty.
>>62709325Craftworld's fucking gone
>>62709348>a fainter "not all of it!"
>>62709172>Be Savorius>Shit, these marines might blow all this to hell before the plan is complete.>Fuck, only one damn solution I can really do at this point>Lower psychic defenses, start channeling the pink mist heavily into their chamber>You want to know why I didn't do that earlier?>It's because->Suddenly be a chick>Yep, that's why>All is bust.jpg
>>62709223>Be me, Eisen Martellus.>My eyes widen as a khorne marine suddenly appears inside a room with ten Reivers, and ten Intersessors. All of which are armed and bigger than him.>Now this sacrifice is definitely worth it! We're killing 50thousand Orks, 47.71 billion already dead humans, and who are likely apart of chaos!>This is definitely more than just collateral at this point.>Offenbach's Can Can, playing over the speaker as a countdown to death.>Pull out knife with a gleeful expression hidden behind my skull mask.>"YOU WANNA GET FUCKED BY A KNIFE!?!">My nineteen other brothers do the same. Their 3 foot long and 4 foot long knives, glimmering in the light of the overloading warpcore "CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET ANALED BY 20 KNIVES!_
>>62709376“YOU WANNA GET FUCKED BY GAUSS?”>Order to fire on the pissmarines.
>>62709376>Accept the Slaaneshi corruption, fuck Khorne, he was a dick anyway>Start fucking channeling the pink mist into the room, helping my sorcerer friend>Let the Necron's hoes hold the marines off>How long can they hold out before it overtakes them I wonder
>>62709182>>62709262>>62709221>>62709291>Be Canoness Helga>Did that little Crusader slut try to give me, a Throne-blessed, Canoness orders?>UrgeToPurgeRising.righteousfury>Guardswoman escapes and flees behind me>Good she's in perfect makeout range>Waitwhatno.heresy?>Point flamer at Greater Daemon to purge with righteous fury>suddenly it vanishes, we're in some kind of corrupted part of the craftworld (guess this Greater Daemon snagged a piece before it disappeared into the Warp), and there's daemonettes all around them>So much heresy so little time>Open up with flamer, laughing with righteous glee at the chance to purge so many perverted daemons at once>TotallyNotTryingToIgnoreTheUrgeToJoinThem.extraheresy
>>62709327> realize that the warp core is gonna overload> sprint past the marines malevolent> nobodylikesyou.cunts> look at the warp core.> see something to stop the overload process> begin to undo their work. > fuckingcunts.anger
>>62709170>Did somebody just throw a root vegetable at me?>At least I hope that's a root vegetable>DetachablePhallus.slaaensh?
>>62709448>Be Sister Gwyndolin>Helping Canoness kill these sexy, sexy daemons>DearemperorthatswhatIwanttolooklike.megaheresy>"Your form, both in combat and in body, is perfect Canoness! Show them what true beauty is!"
>>62709447>A World Eater Marine rejects me for Slaanesh>I will give him a castigation that will echo into legend."Do you even lift bro"
>>62709448> draw power claymore> turn and decapitate a daemonette appearing to lunge at the canoness's rear.Keep aware of your surroundings my lady.> I know what's going through your head> I've seen that look on someone like you before.
>>62709448>>62709182>>62709262>Be me, apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle>Suddenly the deamon dissapear, good news>Lost somewhere with gals, they seems nice if they can calm their tits for a second>Surrounded by deamonettes, bad news>Try to look badass, maybe I can impress themI WILL DEFEAT YOU FOR GOOD DEAMONS! PREPARE TO DIE!>I bet they like this
>Still dancingGreat we're are we now?>See a bunch of deamonettes>Nightmare haved became realhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyIxdOctiooOh for fucks sake.>See >>62709448 buring themWoo hoo, Adeptus Sororities to the recuse, burn them, burn them all!!
>>62709448>you hear a scream as you light your flamer>a hand materializes from the mist and grabs it>running off with it
>>62709519>Khorne's gonna fucking murder me>Not even scared>Basically helped every god other than nurgle recently>Murdered for khorne>Schemed for Tzeentch>Tried to feminise marines for Slaanesh>Fight me mate>Khorne's just an angsty teen throwing shoes at the wall>Slaanesh is literally a whore>Tzeentch is a lonely neckbeard>Fuck the gods
>Grabs >>62709580 and do the tango>Yells at everyone elseGET HER BITCH, SHOOT, STAB, BLOW US THE FUCK UP, JUST SENT HER BACK TO THE WARP!!!>Throws her in the air, catches her and continue to dance with her.
>>62709447>Oh Tzeentch, that motion blur really kicked in>Where am i?>Why does the Khronate now have slanneshi energy?>Get up from the ground and gather my thoughts>A bolter shell flies past me>Whatinthegoddamm.greatocean>Looks like an all out skermish broke out>Is that Offenbach's Can Can?>How did someone get access to that pre-heresy shit>Feel an incredible amount of warp energy>Idea>Time to summon a fuckload of daemons>Hopefully the warp energy generated by such a ritual will generate a current strong enough for me to get the fuck out>Rip a chunck of metal off the hulk>Use my psker fuck you powers to make it levitate>Fly towards the clusterfuck and the signal
>>62709631>you grab a disembodied arm with mist coming from its stump>the creature is one with the mist
>>62709666> realize that this creature is one with the mist> SHIT.VOX> grab canoness, Marisa, and Gwyndolin, and begin sprinting out of the mist. > fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck> clear the deepest parts of the mist, near the docking tube.
>>62709666 turns into mistEmperor damn this fiend>Grabs flamethrower >Pass it to >>62709448CATCH!>Prances back to group
>>62709666>>62709631>>62709523>>62709518>>62709448>>62709707>>62709710>Killing deamonettes, a single bullet for each of their skulls>Thanks emperor things are simple again>sees everyone fleeing and the greater deamon becoming one with the mist>dontleavemealonewiththis shit.vox>runs to them and blasting near deamons
>>62709710>begin groping samuel>they grab and pull him deeper into the pink mist
>>62709710> as I pass Samuel, I scoop him up too. > by the emperor, these people are heavy> somuchlewdness.heresyHow can we find that which we breathe?!> notice person in power armor and motion for him to follow.
>Be Guardsman Duke>Scratch that. Exposure to Warp Dust has... complicated things...>Now Guardswoman Daisy>BytheThrone.gold>I've got boobs now.>I HAVE BOOBS NOW! YES!>Run up and give that suddenly very cute Eldar a biiiiiiiig hug, with lots of tiddie pressing
>>62709447>Be Slaanesh>Khornate just accepted my power>FUCKING YES!>HAVE SOME MORE!>Channels a few "gifts" into him>Not gonna let Khorne steal a prize like this from me like he did with Khaine>Wait, this guy leads a group of Khornates as well>Hehehe...>Follow the leader, as they say
>eight arms start to materialize around the pink and dimly lit halls> each arm weilding a curved sword or a whip>you hear laughing all around>the daemonettes are laughing and start dancing>crab claws everywhere surrounding the party>its a trap
>>62709580>>62709523>>62709518>>62709528>>62709532>Be Canoness Helga>Everyone is rallying around me>Because I have a flamer and I am just that bad-ass>Suddenly greater daemon arm appears from the wrap dust mist and grabs my flamer>"GIVE THAT BACKYOU WARPSPAWN SKANK!">Suddenly get thrown back to me by prancing Guardsman>"Huh. That'll work.">Gets back to barbecuing daemonettes and slowly starts to back up, trying not to think about how sexy Gwyndolin looks in her armor right now.>>62709763>"Let's get out of this craftworld section first and then we can worthy about breathing normal air. Get this fight on back on relatively even ground!">Burning everything Slaaneshi thing that comes into view as I start backing up as fast as I can while holding the Greater Daemon arms and daemonettes at bay
>>62709787>That Mon-Keigh cannon fodder is now a woman>She's rubbing up against me>That feels amazing>FodderIsForEating.lewdthoughts>No!>Stop it!>Maybe if I make out with her the lewd thoughts will go away
>>62709833>I just want to simply kill deamons and heretics>Now I'm on a shitty ship or something with shitty deamons and shitty greater deamon>It's all those cultists fault and their stupid chaos yellow gel>Prepare to shoot the greater deamon's arm off
Need some sleep, don't let thr chaos gods kill Savage
>>62709883>none of the arms are attached to a daemon>they're just floating there
>>62709861> pick up Canoness, Gwyndolin, and Marisa as I spot the place where the space hulk crashed into the Craftworld> point to the broken wallThere, that is our way out!
>>62709903>The greater deamon's arms are actually floating in the mist, no main body to be seen>Each arm has a weapon, better shoot that than nothing, I'll let the others handle the deamonettes>Shoots 2-3 arms>praytheemperoritdoessomething.jpg
>>62709861> open fire with boltgun at any daemonettes who get too close. > fire hotshot laspistol with offhand.
>>62709936>Her boobs give her super strength>BlessingsOfTheEmperorAndOrSlaanesh.jpg
>>62709944>the arms poof into the mist>they vanish>>62709952>there are too many and they manage to grab you
>>62709967> she beats one off and grabs her combat shotgun as she looks to the sister (>>62709952)with the laspistol.SISTER CATCH!> throw boltgun with extra ammo to her. > fire get free as she blows the head off of one of them and backs up shoulder to shoulder with the party.
>>62709936>>62709952>>62709967>Be Canoness Helga>By the Emperor this Crusader's strong!>HolyTerraThatTurnsMeOn.ImpureThoughts>Shake head violently and focus on one of the daemonettes as they grab Marisa>Shove business end of flamer in daemonette's face and pull trigger>"BURN WARPWHORE!">glance down at Crusader again now that Marisa's free>"THEN HURRY UP AND RUN!!!"
>Picks up >>62710008Come lets go!Begins to dance to the ship with Marisa
>>62710027> sprint back into the space hulk canoness and Gwyndolin on her back and everyone else close behind> runninginthe90s.sprint.> throw them down and collapse to her knees as she tries to catch her breath.
>>62709878>Be Guardswoman Daisy>By the Emperor, hes wonderful to hug!>"Why are you looking at me like that, Exarch-kun?"
>be kriegswoman>everyone left my halucinating ass behind>shivering around all these horrible warp-spawned terrors>not sure what's real>whip out flamer and start blasting it into the mist
>Be apprentice inquisitor with a sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle>Blast off another 2-3 arms as others are heading to the exit>I'm about to be abandonned again>tries to join the others>mfw I get grabbed by something and the deamonettes are closing in
>Sees >>62710106 get grabbed Fuck>Twirls Marisa to the ship>Prances to the Apprentice
>>62710106>get dragged into a pile of vile slaaneshi drugs
>>62710135>don't be me, an apprentice inquisitor in a sweat-ass power armor with a sniper rifle>sees the guy trying to save him>slowly gets dragged to >>62710152>if I'm gonna die a pathetic death, at least I'll try to look calm... for 3 seconds>if I dies I hope he'll think of me as a badass
>>62710200>is %100 getting laid by six daemonettes
>>62710086>Must resist lewd urges>She's talking me to me>Isha help me I want to shut her up by shoving my breasts in her mouth"I.. I'm not an Exarch I'm an Autarch">Where is the rest of the warband? Did they leave me or did I love them?>Lean in for a kiss>See another sexy Mon-Keigh run by>She's carrying other Mon-Keigh females>That Cannoness kinda looks like my mom>I want to fuck here>Grab the adorable Mon-Keigh and run after them>EldarMilfThinkingLewdThoughts.horny>That barely made sense>I think this mist is getting to me
>>62710083>>62710135>>62710083>Flying over the battle with my improvised platform>Suckitplebs.magik>The slannshi shit suddenly rises>What in the goddamm>Oh yeah the craftworld>See the ragtag group with theat dancing,stealing undesirable with them>A_plan.tzeentch>Their souls would make a great sacrifice to open my big summoning portal>See the book stealer go back into the hole>I'll get him later>Redirect my makeship disk of tzeentch in their direction>Sword raised, cast the clasdic Bolt of Tzeentch>This shit is going to be stupendously fun
>Be Sororitas Letina>Survivor from the Order of the Golden Light Convent on Tiddius Majoris>My power barely fits because of the Warp-damned xenos-sorcery that corrupted the world into falling for Slaanesh>Never going to make fun of that "Honored Dreadnought" Mallory again>All the warp dust on damn space hulk made it next to impossible for me to think straight>All I know is I've got my lascannon, and there are enemies around me>Wander blindly into corrupted craftworld area.>>62710200>>62710213>>62710135>See daemonettes trying to mount someone in the distance>Kinda want to join in, even if I know I shouldn't>IsItHeresyIfTheCanonessDoesn'tFindOut.lewdthoughts
>Still dancing>A bunch of deamonettes>What do I do?>Idea>A rally stupid, risky and absolutly terrible idea, but an idea>Show enlarged by warp dickHey ladies, why waste you time with that you get all of this.>Humps the air to swing his dick>Soul: Come on you slut take the bait
>>62710260>>62710256> jump in front of them and take the bolt of tzeentch for everyone else.> aodfoaidhoahdfoiafofd.zap> collapse to one knee as the lightning courses through my body.> I've had worse.> recall getting tazed in the balls> wince slightly.> see sororitas about to wander into the craftworld areasister..... help us.... please> collapse to the ground, smoking slightly
>>62710299>some daemonettes drag you over to the drug pile>they want to make you one of their sisters>they start ripping the skin off that guy who got to the pile first
>>62710213>>62710260>>62710284>Be apprentice with a sweat-ass power armor (genital area getting torned apart) and a sniper rifle>Some deamonettes turn towards the guy who just enlarge his fleshy dong >4 jumps on the guy but 6 more take their places>Still too many deamonettes>Trying to catch my pistols>ll give them a gang-"bang" they'll remember
>>62710256>Be Savorius>Be currently a woman due to channeling massive amounts of that pink mist around>Remember that I also accidentally kind of disabled all of the power armor air filtration systems>...>I contact my brother>"Hey brother, it's your bro-, shit, sister Savorius. You uh, may want to be careful in there because your air filtration system is probably down and you're breathing in that pink mist."
>>62710083>>62710256>>62710008>>62709956>Be Canoness Helga>By the Emperor this Crusader's strong!>Such a valiant rescue deserves a reward>Licks lips pervertedly despite myself>A quick kiss on the lips wouldn't hurt, right?>possiblyhereticalideas.voxcast>>62710256>>62710299>Crusader gets zapped by a bolt of Tzeentch before I can kiss her>Damn it, this is why we can't have nice things!>Pull out a sacred bolt pistol from my hip and start shooting at the Chaos Space Marine's head, trying to damage his armor's rebreather system
>>62710299>Sees sweet ass crusader GF be dragged off by sweet, sexy daemonettes"VICTORIA!">Jumps into the drug pile after them"You will not touch her! She's mine!"
>Guy skin gets ripped offAnd didn't work>Prances off to shipSee>>62710299 get dragged off>Here come the pain train>Rams into deamonettes so hard they become unconscious >Grabs Samson and dances to the ship with her
>>62710355> attempt to resistno... please no.....> I'm back in the convent again> canoness is over me, marks of slaanesh on her armor> she drops her pants and pins me to the ground. > try to fumble for my greatsword> feel knife in my hands.> waitwut.ptsd> shake head and clear eyes for a second. > begin to struggle as they drag me to the drug pile> fumble with dagger and stab one of them in their clitoris. > stumble to my feet and run away... swaying slightly as I recover...> wobble and walk out of the hole....> collapse as the other one grabs my foot. NO!
>>62710417>as you jump into the pile several daemonettes stop making out with each other and turn their attention to you>they giggle as they drag you further in with them>one of them pulls you in close>that guy over there is totally losing some limbs>holy shit they already made a dress out of his skin>>62710441>two more daemonettes grab you>as they touch you corruption starts to spread
>>62710355>Be Sororitas Letina>Doesn't even notice the other Battlesisters or Crusader or Canoness>TooHighOnWarpDust.lewd>Feel like I should be having sexy-fun times with daemonettes>walk past the fight deeper into the mist, breathing in deeply and reveling in the pleasure it brings>WhoDoIWorshipAgain.corruption
>>62710402>Catch up to the pretty lady who looks like mom>Barely think..thinking at tits point>I just need a kiss and I'll be back to horny>and maybe some other sex>Tackle her to the ground>The guardswoman is pressed between us with her face buried in my breasts>SoGoodSoHorny.barelyincontrol>Rabidly push my lips onto hers
>>62710299>>62710355>>62710379>>62710402>So the attack didn't proceed as procedure>Cons:Only got one of them>Pros: It was the big one, and now it's on the ground, twiching>Wait are those slanneshi daemonettes>Dragging away MY sacrifcial lambs>This shall not stand>Drop down my makeshift plataform and swing it at the daemonettes>Just as i'm about to chase after her, a volley of bolter fire hits me>Block my rebreather at the cost of my middle finger>Overrated anyways>And in no way am i breathing that dust unpurified>Recieve message from brother Savorus>Sister now...apparently>Bit of a prick>Tells me that my air filtration systems are down>Tell him that thanks to a bit of warp shenanigans i've kept them mostly functional>Dunno how much longer can i keep it that way though>Also tell hi...her of my plan to summon a fuckton of daemons to create a warp current strong enough to get us the fuck out>I swear if i breathe some of that slanneshi shit i'll skin someone
>>62710493no.... i refuse you> I can't die like this. > I refuse to die like this> I....> I pull out my knives> stab the two daemonettes in the throat> stand to my feet and roar as loud as I canHOLY EMPEROR GUIDE MY BLADES AS I SLAUGHTER THIS FILTH!> fuck this shit> fuck these daemonettes> fuck this sister> FUCKSLAANESHPROTECT THESE PEOPLE FROM THE RUINOUS POWERS, SANCTIFY MY STRIKES SO THAT I MAY CLEANSE THESE HERETICS FROM ALL THAT REACH YOUR INFINITE GAZE> throw myself into the fire, slaughtering daemonettes as they howl in pain from hearing my litanies> continue stabbing every daemonette I can find as I pull gwyndolin out of the pile.> hey my stormshield > pull it out, and draw a Catachan devil's claw knife> bash it against shieldCOME DAEMONS, COME AND MEET YOUR END ON MY BLADE. FOR IT SHALL BE THE LAST THING YOU WILL EVER IMPALE YOUR PATHETIC BODIES ON AGAIN YOU LOOSE WHORES.
>>62710545>be daemonettes>be skinning stupid sororitas from earlier>be skinning people alive>be fucking the mortals>be fucking each other>be doing all the drugs>be doing daemonette things>killing people and fucking people
>>62710545>He wants to make a warp current to get us out>Well then>I actually DO have an idea for that, but he wouldn't like it>Here's the plan: fill as many warp drives as can be found in this place with the pink mist, then detonate them>Wouldn't even cause physical destruction amazingly>Problem is...>Well, as is, and with currently available resources, it would cause everyone in the system to be affected by that shit times 1000.>I can't even comprehend that shit
>>62709417>Be me, Eisen Martellus.>And two of my brothers just went down to unrelenting xeno technology!>Itdoesntevenhaveamachinespirit!>Before dying, their belasarian furnaces allow them to get off a few shots at the hoes, while the rest of the Intersessors gun them down.>My squad and I quickly pull forth our oversized, bastard sword length knives, and charge towards the beserker and the now feminine sorcerer.>Whyareyouawoman.png>Quickly begin slicing and dicing, and using our scary masks, to overwhelm them, as we push our way towards the exits.>Too late to stop the warp drive from going off, and we barely have three minutes to leave.>I need a hero.mp4https://youtu.be/OBwS66EBUcY
>>62710616>be claw bitches>some howling fucker doesn't wanna party>start fighting that bitch one on one>circle of daemonettes forms around the woman with knives going toe to toe with a single daemonette at a time
>>62710630> be me.> fucking idiots didn't know how warp drives work> quickly recite prayers as I place the parts they pulled out into place. > warp drive stabilizes,> fuck the marines malevolent
>Be apprentice inquisitor with a almost new sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle>Finally managed to grab my pistols shoots every deamonettes near me>breathed too much warp dust and whatever they pour down my throat>aim at deamonettes blocking my way to the exit, sees my companions getting a fate worse than I>shoots the deamonettes>tries to drag a least one of them out of this>a bigger deamonette shows up, I'm too drugged to shoot straight>itshighnoon.mp3>shoots crab bitch
>>62710660>Be Eisen Martellus.>As we're fighting our way out. I wonder why we have all these extra parts with us.>Oh yeah... From the warp drive.>YEET the bag of part in my hand, as hard as possible.>Didn't even realize I'd just hit some oversized, mortal woman in the head with them.>Notmyproblem.jpg>Keep heading towards the exit.
>>62710648> be me, Crusader Victoria Samson> another daemonette screams as I lop their head off with my machete.> she falls into the pile, > sister is still alive, slightly cut at my feet.> snarl as the next one enters the ring> I sweep her legs out from under her and pulverize her head beneath my storm shield.> physicssayfuckyoucunt.purge> snarl at them allyou... won't have anyone else... not another soul.... you hear me.> bear my teeth at the next one as it overextends its arm and I slice down and it falls to floor> it gurgles as I flip my blade into a reverse grip and impale its filthy head upon my blade.
>>62710686>one of them clips off an arm>another licks your arm>giggling they don't seem to pay you much mind>they're paying more heed to the circle of daemonettes
>>62710630>Be Serkon Dias>Lots of fucking enemies>Close ass quarters>Sergeant Martellus is probably thinking we can actually get out of this shithole alive given this situation>And that's just->...>Oh shit, tits"Sergeant Martellus! It appears this mist of foul sorceries is a powerful mutagenic and I-">>62710660>Sees the former chaplain>See how her amazing bod is framed by the remnants of her power armor>Shit, I need to ask her how to do that>What?>Fuck I'm..."Martellus! I am no longer able to continue, I hope you will join me soon!">Take a deep breath of that mist and start making out with the first willing mouth
>>62710517>>62710616>>62710502>>62710425>>62710417>Be Canoness Helga>Was going to help save crusader, but now I'm suddenly being forced to make out with a Eldar.>This is a thing that is happening>Kindofwantbutatthesametime.frustrations>Shove Eldar back and gasp for breath>"Later...">Pull a frag grenade from my belt and walk up to the hole in the wall.>"GET CLEAR!">prime grenade and throw it hard into the middle of the oncoming daemonettes>Pray to the God-Emperor Gwyndolin doesn't get killed in the blast>I need to "scold" her later
>>62710701>SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER.>Hop on the back of the hardcase, start slamming.
>>62710628>>62710716>Rendezvous with sister>Tells me that her plan is to fill the whole hulk with the drug>That would be utterly fucking insane>But maybe>Just maybe, and if i breathe some of that shit>Sacrifices_must_be_made.slanneshi"Here's my idea, how about we do both. The current it'll generate will be readble for light-years">Now which lamb to throw into the provevial and literal slaughter>That giant woman seems crazy enough to fight a sorcerer, even in her state>Scream into her mind>"THE FORCES OF CHAOS CHALLENGE YOU, AND YOUR WEAK,DEAD IMPERATOR, YOU CRAZED CULTIST OF A DEAD MOCKERY">That'll do the trick
>>62710733>>62710720>Be Sororita Letina>Definited hooked on Warp dust>Look down as something hits the ground under me>It's a grenade>Oh>Get blown back into a bunch of daemonettes>Armor's a complete wreck now>Too horny to care>Start making out with a daemonette as the corruption takes over>Praise Slaanesh! Praise the Prince of Pleasure
>>62710733>>62710720>Be apprentice inquisitor with a almost new sweat-ass power armor and equipped with a sniper rifle>The sister of battle gal just threw a grenade on the pile of deamonette, just near me>Pray to the God-Emperor that some kind of karma exist in this universe>Runs towards the exit, with a little luck it's almost over after that>Shoots behind my back, on the pile>mfw I run out of pistol bullets and can't buy or get new ones
>Be me>Be Prancing like a Ballerina because of warp dust and shit>Some of these fucker are dead>There's a group of deamonettes chasing me>Sees >>62710545 appear>That fucker is back>I was supposed to be a guardsman and die in glorious battle but nooo, I just have to be spawned in here>Inhale more warp dust>Prances a hell lot more faster>I can't be exhausted now
>>62710733>be me>Slutarch Belamyn Ytharl of the craftworld Sexy Times>Making out with hot a Mon-Keigh with another squirming between us>She pushes me off and tells me to wait for later>I don't want it to be later>A voice in my head tells me I don't have to wait>I can have her>All I need to do is give my slutty, horny, sexy, eldar soul to played with for all eternity by daemonettes>That sounds amazing>Wait no that doesn't>BackTheFuckUp.soulstone>What am I doing"Yes, that's probably for the best">Pull out my fusion pistol and fight next to her>I'm still totally going to hold her hand after this is done.
>>62710732>Be me, Eisen Martellus>One of my Reivers quickly shoots the Intersessor in the head with his bolt carbine, as he fails to withstand the chaos infused warp dust that he breaths in.>Collateral damage, I'm afraid.>>62710747>Before I can say good work to him. A figure appears out of nowhere >Fucking necorn of all things, wearing some sort of fuzzy hat, and wielding a cane topped with what appears to be some sort of metal sex toy!>Eyes widen as it attempts to Pound my rear with it's oversized, girthy weapon.>Fuckthatgayshit.png>Quickly pull forth my grappel launcher and fire it into the air.>Quickly pulled up, as I proceed to use my knife to slice his girthy tool in half as I go. Power unchecked, throbbing and spewing forth in all directions as I go.>My Reiver brothers do the same.>Just more collateral damage.
>>62710888>"I'm still totally going to hold her hand after this is done." not gonna lie.... That's fucking HOT!!
>>62710733> yelp in surprise and jump clear, dragging >>62710824with me.> nobodyleftbehind.chivalry> turn and glare at the sorcererYou wish to tango as well now? big talk coming from someone who just casts magic all day, come here and fight me in melee combat, or did the wolves fuck you so hard that you forgot what melee is if it doesn't involve big furry dicks?
>>62710890>Be Karvus Excellus>Be Reiver>Just shot one of my brothers, now tactically retreating with my sergeant>Tell sarge that I always hated Dias anyways>Dude was a prick>deserved to grow tits and die>Big, bouncy tits>Mmm... they were pretty nice>Mine are better though>Wait, what?>I look down>Fuck>I tell Sarge that it's spreading, then give myself the Emperor's Mercy
>>62710917>Never talk about the space wolves near these thing, even I know that and I talk shit all the time.
>>62710830>Just as i'm going to get my angry imperial soul number 1>He shows up>The lady can wait>Time to get revenge >I'd take my helmet off if it wasn't for all this drug shit in the air>Turn to him>No words are needed>Crack my (now 9) fingers>Unsheathe sword>Glare at him with the wrath of a thousand s(o)uns>Chargehttps://youtu.be/xlYCxbBZUCY
>>62710953> look at everyone else around me> mouth the words "run">>62710987> see the two sorcerers fighting each other. > pick up the two sisters by my feet .(>>62710824 and >>62710417) > runaway.vox
>See >>62710987 charge at my>Soul: Oh come on>Idea>Prance towards him>Jump over his head>The deamonettes chasing me clashes with him>He kill one by mistake therefore they attack himJust as plan bitch!>Keeps prancing to group
>>62710936>Roll my eyes as another bites the dust.>This time, quite litterally. His half blown off jaw, scooping up a mouth full of dust from off the ground, and he hits the deck as a bloody mess.>When this thing blows up, nothing will be missed.>Hopefully my brother's down in the plasma generators, have almost finished overloading it as well.>That'll finish off the job that the overloading warpcore started.>After a few moments, I can quite litterally feel the explosions that are happening, five miles away, on the otherside of the space hulk.>Can't be more than two Dragonball Z minutes, until this thing goes boom.
>>62710917>Did that imperial whore say something about prospero>Oh no, not on my fucking watch>Turn to her>Use some good ol magic to amplify my message>"I'LL CUT YOUR TOUNGE AND RIP YOUR SPINE OUT, IMPERIAL SCUM">"FOR I, A CHILD OF MAGNUS CHALLENGE ALL IMPERIAL CULTISTS TO COME AND FACE ME">"SO THAT YOUR FILTHY FUCKING SOULS CAN GET ME OUT OF THESE FORSAKEN HULK">That'll speed up the process
>>62711077> he sees nothing but a dust outline as the imperials that were once there are now long gone.
>>62711064>Be Sergeant Klasdo Vole>Shit is fucked down here, super fucked>Vox my brother>Tell my brother we kind of fucked up>Plasma generators did in fact go boom>But not in the way we wanted>Just more fucking pink mist>Shit got weird over here>Daemony weird>As in, the walls, floor, and ceiling are now alive and pulsating flesh>Also, half my "brothers" are now sisters>Though luckily they haven't descend into a Slaanesh fueled pile yet>Wish Martellus luck
>>62710917>>62711039>>62711090>Be Corrupted Sororitas Letina>Get forcibly pulled away from daemonettes by Crusader>Poor Imperial fool doesn't notice that my corruption is a bit more... physical than most>Slaanesh'sExcessIsBeautiful.heresy>pull out combat knife and stab crusader in the leg to make her drop to her knees>I'm going to take my time dominating this one, then have fun with Sister Gwyndolin>Seductively lick Crusader's with my unnaturally long tongue and smile with sharpened teeth>"I shall teach you the ways of excess, daaahrling...">My lascannon has now fused to my free arm, making it an 'arm-cannon'
>>62711169>I see that Letina has been blessed by the Emperor and corrupted by Slaanesh at the same time"No Sister! We can be sexy as hell without being excess!">Lick>She tastes mainly like sweat
>>62711136>Be me, Eisen Martellus.>I can only scream internally, as everyone appears to be useless, a bimbo, or needs to become Collateral Damage.>>62711169>As we're making our escape, we come across a sister of battle, slicing and dicing a crusader up.>For the love of Terra. Fuck off with this stupidity!>Quickly use grapple launcher, to pull the crusader away from her, while my brothers pour bolter carbine, and bolt rifle fire into the corrupt sister.>Everybodygetsone.spiderman>Loom down at crusader and speak.>"Come with me, if you want to live."
>>62711169> bite the sister's tongue off> slam storm shield into her side, hearing a crack as her ribs crack. > stagger to my feet and pull the knife out of my leg> return it to her as I stab her in the armpit.Get... fucked you cunt> snarl as I stand, stormshield and machete ready for a fight. > in spite of all odds I stand> as long as my comrades need me, I will stand. > I look at the manMy comrades, I cannot leave without them> get one my kneesplease.... save them... please. > tears in my eyes as I look toward Gwyndolin.> I will not leave your sister behind.
>>62711090>They're gone>I got so caught up in that fucking declaration of war that they're gone>fuckme.heretic>This is now personal>Go back into the center of the hulk>My throats feels like it's been whipped by a Word Bearer>I'll try to contact my sister to see how her plan is coming along>But i'll get their souls>Even if i have to breathe 10 tons of the slanneshi garbagefucking captcha
>>62711252>Good with the deamonettes that are now chasing you because you killed one of them.
>>62711222>Be me, an apprentice inquisitor with a almost new sweat-ass power armor and a sniper rifle>Deamonettes number is diminishing, and one of the bolter bitch got full heretard>Now only to escape>l'll follow the guy>mfw it's finally about to end
>>62711252>Interuptted from my toying with those other marines malevolent>They're all chicks now.grin>Look down>Wow, my assets have gotten big>May have been channeling a LITTLE too much of this slsaaneshi garbage mist>Eh, in for a penny, in for a pound>Brother calls me up>Wants to know how plan is coming along>It's going decently, the warp drives the marines set up have now been positively filled with the mist shit>When those detonate, they will do some SHIT>In the meantime>Hehehe>Increase the mist density where that Sergeant and those sisters are by alot>Feeling great actually>Tell brother he should try this mist shit>Brings change, and you know how Tzeentch likes that
>>62711250>>62711280>Be me, Eisen Martellus.>Stare down at the crying crusader I had just rescued.>Feel something in my chest start to act up for a moment.>Fear I might have been affected by the dust.>No tits, so I'm fine.>Mentally put a bolt round through the feeling in my chest >It stfu and goes away.>All mortals are fucking useless, it would seem... Why can't they all just die.>"Fine...">Order my intersessor brothers to take the survivors back to boarding g torpedoes, while we rescue the others.>"Everybody gets one.gif
>>62710888>>62710987>>62711077>Be Canoness Helga>stuff frag grenade between the cracks of the wall leading into the craftworld>Grab Slutarch by her hand and drag her away as fast as I can, firing a quick burst of bolter rounds at the one male Thousand Son's sorcerer's helmet before the grenade goes off and seals the craftworld from the rest of the hulk>>62711169>>62711212>>62711222>>62711250>See one of my former Sisters of battle has fallen completely to Slaanesh and fires a bolt round at her head after the Crusader's finished pummeling her>I've seen enough shit to know where THAT leads>This really IS turning into Innocence VI all over again>Except this time with a lot more tits and ass>Don't know if the last part is a good or bad thing yet>Drop bolt pistol and lift flamer up one handed at Marines Malevolent>"IDENTIFY YOURSELF OR DIE A HERETIC!"In the Canoness' defense, the Malevolent's color scheme does look a little traitor-y
>>62711331"Yes embrace change""And fuck captcha. Not the good kind of fuck either"
>>62711340> I look up at the man and sob slightly....thank you....> she then turns and pulls up something.I saw a deathwatch marine and a Krieger in the ruins of a blackstone fortress about a klick that way... >>62711354> see the canoness.please... no more fighting sister... they're our way out.> she then nods to Marisa.please, just let us go home.
>>62711379"Yes, what he said. Do the hokey pokey or whatever!""Just as planned! Nyehehehe!"
>>62711354>Be me, Sergeant Eisen Martellus. Primaris Reiver sergeant.>This bitch just fucking leveled a flamer at me>A primaris space marine.>Cunt, do I look like a fucking traitor at this height?>Getting pretty pissed right now, and I'm about to make people into collateral damage at this point t.>Decide I've had enough of this shit, and simply fire my grappling launcher at her flamer, before reeling in the catch.Sergeant Eisen Martellus. Marines Malevolent, fourth company... Your back-up. You can either come with us->Simply walk towards her. Letting the mask do the talking for me."-Or you can stay here, and burn up as this thing collides into the planet below.... Your choice... But I suggest the former option
>>62711418>>62711280>>62711429>The mist is thickening at your location
>>62711340>Fall off, retreat as pimp cane reforms, topping itself with my dynasty symbol instead of a dick.>There we go.>Pursue with squad to track the fucker down.>Also order smaller Necron crafts to harry piss hardcase ship.
>>62711354>be me Autarch Belamyn Ytharl of the Cratfwor->Isha's Teats We AreHolding Hands!>NextStageInOurRelationship.internallyhyperventilating>Hope she invites me to that scolding session with her sister(?) later>Not sure if they are actually sisters>MonKeighAreWeirdLikeThat.eldar>Would be totally down for it if they were>She's yelling at urine colored Space Marines>Oh wow she's really bossy>That's pretty hot>Focus now>Lewd times for later"Just shoot them. They are clearly corrupted if they are painting their armor with urine."
>>62711443>Be me, Reiver Sergeant.>Seeing the amount of dust in the air. I quickly order my brothers to mag-lock themselves to the ground, before grabbing hold of any nearby survivors.>I proceed to shoot out all of the nearby armaplas windows. Causing them to bent the local area, before they quickly seal off.>With the area cleared up. We unlock and quickly start moving towards our exit.
>>62711354>>62711331>>62711379>>62711425>Get message from sister>Plans are coming along well,good"I'll pass on the mist, seems more slanneshi than tzeentchian">As our chat ends i get more fucking bolter fire>Why is it always the helmet>Feel several holes in my forearm>I'lldealwiththatlater.warp>Wait is that a grenade>oH SHIT>Kick it into the craftworld hole>Some of the hulk collapses after impact>That's done i guess>As i start following the imperial's trail, two voices ring in my head>One of them proclaims to be Tzeentch, but their aura is different>While i've only felt the Bringer Of Change's aura under heavy warpdust abuse, for "research", this one feels different>The other one says to be Slaanesh, but it's aura seems chaotic and familiar>I don't even want to know what the fuck is happening anymore>They also said something about captcha>I don not know what the fuck it is, but it sounds utterly annoying
>>62711443> notice the mist beginning to thicken> recall what that means> get grabbed by astartes> meepu-ummm thank you... > look up at the astartes holding me> smiling widely behind the mask.
>>62711212>>62711222>>62711250>>62711354>>62711429>>62711443>Be Corrupted Sister Letina>Ow>Crusader bit my tongue off>Fuck that's hot>Sister Gwyndolin's licking me>She's borderline, just needs a slight push to join my side>Suddenly get thrown off crusader, ribs cracked, shanked in the armpit and then shot multiple times with bolter carbines>Ow ow ow fuck this hurts ow!>Somehow not dead>See Canoness walk around the corner>Oh fuck>Bolter round nearly blows my head off>Only manages to blast away some of the tendril-like things that replaced my 'hair'>Gasp for air, breathing in the thickening mist as I struggle to focus through the pain>Need an enemy to focus on>Spot the Marines Malevolent Sergeant>Former knife hand suddenly contorts and bursts into a long, daemonette-looking crab claw>BlessingsofThePrinceofExcess.warpgifts>Jump up and lunge at Sergeant as he turns to leave, firing my 'arm lascannon' at the other Marines while my claw tries to take off his head>Or at least his helmet>I can make out with him either way
>>62711504>He shoots out windows to a nearby low pressure gap between the ships of the hulk>Hehe>Hehehehehehe>That just means I get to channel more!>More mist appears around them and follows them as they move>Just as...>Mmm>More mist is appearing around me too>Breathe in>And out>Just as planned>I think
>>62711542> marine holding me takes a lascannon to the chest> holyshit.meep> turn to see corrupted sister lunging at marine malevolent.> oh you traitorous cunt> Victor tried to save you you ungrateful bitch. > grab combat shotgun and blast it at the sisters head.
>>62711484>Tilt my skull helmet towards the foul, large assed xeno witch, as I walk. My ten foot tall form, stopping directly infront of her.>Proceed to slap her like a husband would in a domestic abuse situation, as I calmly speak to her."Shut the fuck up. And start moving, witch! Lest I leave you to be bait for the necrons and chaos sorcerer to fondle and rape.">>62711536>The man nods, before continuing on.>>62711542>Upon seeing this. I duck underneath her unholy, slower form, and reach out with my hand. My armored gauntlet grabbing her neck.>I tilt my head, before proceeding to snap her neck, and chucking her body into a garbage disposal.>Fucking thots.
>>62711542>Finally about to live through this shit flavored hell of a ship with the help of the space marines, but the heretard bolter bitch shoots the space marine>hellnaw.jpeg>>62711613>proceeds to shoot the "corpse" several times just to be sure
>Inhales more warp dust>Effects enhances>Dance more faster>Gotta keep moving>Dances to >>62711613
>After aimlessly wondering around the hulk i finally hear signs of imperial scum>Peer over their location>It's all filled with that mist>Message sister telling her that this shit is too much>My air filtration system coudn't handle such an ammount>But the souls for the ritual are right fucking there>Fortuna,thou art a cruel mistress>What do i do now
>>62711737>Tell him to stop being a little baby>Tell him to just plunge in there, mist and all>And do his thing
>>62711542>>62711613>>62711590>>62711590>>62711613>>62711418>Be Canoness Helga>That bastard took my flamer away>I should accuse him of heresy on principle, but it's really not worth it>Might even accuse him of insubordination since I technically outrank him>Then he slaps MY xenos wench>MotherfuckerOnlyImAllowedToAbuseHer.rage>Bite my lip and resist the urge to purge>Shake head as they try and fail to vent out the damn mist>Start to make snarky comment when Letina (or was used to be Letina) lunges to her feet and blasts the other Marines apart with her lascannon and tries to decapitate the sergeant>Nod approvingly as he dispatches her>Pull Slutarch forward as I walk up and forcibly grab my flamer back, holding it with one hand as lead my xenos wench with me>"Looks like that claw of hers punched a hole in your rebreather">Don't care really care what happens to him, I just want to get back to the safety of that blackstone fortress the Crusader mentioned earlier>Point business end of the flamer at the crusader>"Victoria, right? Lead the way."
>>62711646>Be me.>Proceed to give a quick nod towards the interrogator, as I continue walking.>With these poor excuse for mortals and soldiers with us. We distribute several back up respirators we have with us, before holding them with one hand.>With mag-boots locked down. We slowly make our way through the halls, towards the escape route. Shooting out windows as we go.>Fuck This dust, and fuck you, Sorcerer. Thousand sons are pussies.>After a couple moments, finally reach boarding torpedo we came in on.>Four dead, two wounded, and all anger.>Anger.gif>Board torpedo as explosions continue to rock space hulk.Anyone want to stay. Feel free.
>Still dancing but faster>Looks at >>62711809Hello sir
>>62711613>Ow that hurt>No time to start a fight though>He's right >>62711807>The milfy Mon-Keigh pulls me with her"The only people I want fondling and raping me are this Mon-Keigh and her sisters">did I just say that out loud>Ididn'tEvenKnowMyspeciesCouldBlush.eldar"It appears the warp dust is distorting our speech">BelievableLie.totallynailedit"We should head towards my craft. It is guarded by wraith constructs that are immune to corruption and should have been able to fight off the token forces near the edge of the hulk.">Hope I'm right>Those Wraithguard heads look enough like dildos without Slaaneshi corruption.
>>62711809>They think they're getting out?>Hehehehehe!>Not likely>Poke more holes in the rebreathes!(Which should be broken still anyways)>Fill the boarding torpedo with more dust!>And last but not least...>Discreetly flip the reverse and forward settings>Just as planned!>...>Yeah, I've been breathing a lot of that mist myself>Armor is fucking ruined
>>62711807> she looks at the canoness> do I even trust her. > on the other hand...> the others are still in the blackstone fortressWe need to get the others. > nobodyleftbehind.morals.> dammitBrother.... please escort these people from the hulk. I will find the others and find another way off the hulk. > I make the sign of the AquillaEmperor bless you for your aid astartes. >>62711866>>62711807> I look at them and motions for them to follow meCome, I shall lead your people there.
>>62711798>>62711809>My fucking sacrifices are getting away>Fuck it>Start legging it>Run as fast as i can, breathing the least i can>Doesn't work out very well>I'll worry about the changes later>Finally reach them as they're about to board a torpedo>Fuck the marines>The rest are mine"<wheeze>You filth aren't getting <wheeze> out of here with your souls">Point towards the group following the marines"And you can fuck off for all i care">I say to the marine malevolent
>>62711929"Hah nerd. Can't even run without an asthma attack"
>>62711860>Be me. Eisen Martellus.>Not at all impressed with these mortals, in anyway what so ever >They're all heretics thar need to quickly become Collateral Damage.>But honour dictates that everybody gets one save.>>62711896>Frown as more dust begins filling the area.>Thank the Omnissiah that primaris marines are extremely resistant to chaos and warp shenanigans.>Thanks papa cawl!>>62711929>Suit auspex had already picked up the now feminine sorceress a mile ago. He'd just been playing along with it.>He and his men duck, as the boarding tubes turrets begin firing heavy bolter rounds at the sorceress. His men firing and throwing grenades as well.>Enough rounds all around him, to kill a terminator.
>>62711980>Be Sivrex, Sartor, and Kale>Be last surviving members of Martellus's squad>Shooting at this fucking sorcereress>Damn this mist!>Too thick to fucking see through>Thick ass mist!>Thick>Ass>Mist!>Thick...>Thicc>Thicc Ass...>Yummy>Screw Sarge's orders unless those orders are to screw!>They abandon their positions to make out
>>62711866>Be Guardswoman Daisy >"Ara ara~ Autarch-chan, where ever did you go?">I follow the large group, looking for my attractive Onee-chan
>>62711980>The marine ducks>Wait does that mean>Firing line, of course>Manage to burn or stop most>Get shredded by the leftover>Now what to do>Fuckfuck the grenades are about to pop>Idea.daemon>Channel all of the raw warp energy i can while bleeding "You see, all is going just as planned!">Make portal>I just want them all dead by this point
>>62712039>Upon seeing this, the right remaining Intersessors, turn their bolt rifles upon their failed brothers, and proceed to blast them apart.>Eisen rolls his eyes, draws his blade, and proceeds to slice off the hand of the Sorceress.>The second Reiver squad proceed to work together to push the Sorceress into an oversized garbage disposal hole. Causing her to fall thirty levels down, into an ancient trash compactor.>With this settled. Eisen frowns.>Fucking thots.
>>62712067>That guardswoman from earlier calls out to me"I'm over here, hurry and run sweetie">Why did I call her sweetie?>FeelingVeryMotherlyAllofTheSudden.justgoingwithit
>>62711922>>62711866>Be Canoness Helga>I maybe an increasingly horny Milf of a Canoness, but it looks like I can boss people around>Walk over to Victoria and kiss her encouragingly on the cheek>"That's a good Crusader. Let's get going while these Marines Malevolent deal with the big bad Chaos Marine.">It's not that I don't want these Marines to fuck so can have... fun... with everyone. Nope, my intentions are completely pure I swear.>>62712067>Spot Guardsman Daisy and make a quick motioning gesture for her to follow me, Crusader Victoria, Slutarch, and Sister Gwyndolin to go and retrieve Brother Ephriam and the other Sisters.
>Still dancing>Sees >>62712112 cut Sorceress hand off and push her into the garbage disposal.Excellent work sir.
>>62712112>Be me, apprentice inquisitor with an almost new power armor and a sniper rifle >Tried to shoot once or twice but the excess of mist prevented him to do that. Surprisingly I do not get horny nor do I turn into a gal. I just vomit on floor.>fuck that chaos marine>Proceeds to lie down a bit inside the torpedo"I'm sorry, I'll be back up in a second"
>>62712112>Be pink mist>Permeate into boarding torpedo>Begins turning switches, nobs, and buttons into more>lewd shapes>Floor and seats twist in interesting ways>Security harnesses lash out>Ventilation system begins to pump out more mist
>>62712149>>62712123>Be Guardswoman Daisy>Smile brightly when I see Autarch Onee-san and Sister Onee-san>"Ara ara~ My brain feels soooooooo weied~ where are we going, Onee-san?~">imretarded?.ditz
>>62712149>Follow my mistress and the rest of her harem>Hope this ends in an orgy>Keep a hold of yourself girl>ConsideringMindFuckingHerToFuckMe.psyker>No she said later>I need to listen to her>Maybe I should save some of this warp dust though>Just to study it of course
>>62712278>Be mist>Some mist condenses into warp dust in the Slutarch's pockets>As well as the pockets of several other interested parties>Seatbelts are turning into tentacles
>>62712211>Can only roll my eyes at the mist entering into the boarding torpedo >So much for that plan.>Mutter an apology prayer, as I pull forth a couple of frag grenades from my fallen brothers, and proceed to chuck them inside the pod, before sealing it up.>Looking to the others, I tell them to keep their respirators on, before ordering my brothers to grab hold of the survivors and hold on tight.>I then shoot out the windows, and allow explosive decompression to vent us into space.>With incredible speed, we are flung through several hundred meters of void space.>And directly into the open, decompressed hold of a thunder hawk.>The craft closes it hold, vents what little atmosphere came with them, before speeding off, and refilling the holds with fresh air. there is no more dust, fuck off with that shit.
>>62712379Fine Mr I'm immune to everything kill all heretics with no problem shoot out windows on a fucking space hulk. Windows on a fuck space hulk. Do Imperial ships even have fucking windows?
>>62712112>>62712177>Didn't go as planned>Lost the good hand>And these pissmarines kick me towards the garbage disposal>Going down fast>I still have some fight in me>And warp energy>The end of the tube approaches>Force a portal to appear>Fuck that took a hit out of me>Float peacefully in the warp, for a second>Then it all goes to shit>Luckly my sister's soul is nearby>Through the massive headache i manage to rendervous to her location>Then just drop half dead
>>62712149> she rears back from the kiss...> nope still too soon. > begin to lead them towards the blackstone fortress. Stormshield and Machete in hand> by the emperor I'm exhausted.
>>62712475>Reinforce their comrade>keeping off loyalists
>>62712456 actually, I'm going off what lore states for primaris marines. War of secrets shows one dark angel primaris Lieutenant, Xedro Farren, to be absolutely immune to a warp plague, along with three other primaris marines being incredibly resistant when they catch it. To the point that even a regular apothecary is surprised by it.>Papa Cawl is nice.>As for Windows, they doo indeed have them. I remember in one ciaphas Cain's novel, Cain spends several moments contemplating some stuff, as he stares out the window into the void. While battlefleet gothic the game, shows Admiral stern and the inquistor Hoth, to be staring out the window of his ship, as they watch battle fleet gothic ready for the 12th black crusade. Hells reach also has grimaldus looking out a window of one black Templar ship, as he watches them close in upon Armageddon.Not trying to sound d like an asshole, btw.
>>62712540didn't know primaris were inmune to warp diseases, how did cawl even manage that
>>62712456No >>62712540 is right. Primaris thev been shown to be immune to chaos corruption. Tau too because they are basically blanks. Eldar are somewhat resistant because soulstones and being psykers but can still be affected by strong sources of it/prolonged exposure. Although any Eldar that actually fell to Chaos would be eaten.
>>62712540Yeah, I know primaris are stated to be resistant to the warp, but even if it is canon it is bullshit canon since there doesn't really seem to be a reason for it. Only 3 organs separate primaris marines from regular marines and none of them have a statement involving warp resistanceAs for windows, while there would be some, they would likely be sparing since, you know, void ships, and likely be bolter-proof if they are there. They'd likely only be on bridges and in luxury areasAlso, why the fuck was there a decompressed and open thunder hawk a few hundred feet outside the space hulk when you were intending to leave via the boarding torpedo you arrived in?
>>62712660Tau aren't blanks. They just have absolutely no psychic potential and extremely low presence in the warp
>>62712643>>62712668Probably has something to do with their mental conditioning considering they can still be affected by physic powers that cause mutations on the TT
>>62712643 it's never really stated. But it's likely the same way they keep the wulfen genes out, the black rage out, and all other bullshit out. And while immunity isn't completely there, they are highly resistant to it. Hence why I was willing to have some of the primaris succumb to it. Dark imperium had Cawl's Not! AI state that primaris are highly resistant to chaos, and that Guilliman should allow Cawl to use chaos traitor gene-seed from before the Horus heresy because of this A primaris marines is supposedly so resistant, there is little chance any will fall to chaos without a lot of bullshit.>>62712668>As for the thunder hawk being there. Ex machina. A couple of people in the discord server were wanting off the space hulk. I obliged their request.
>>62712721 they have the same mental conditioning>>62712730Yeah, and the fact that primaris bullshit somehow gets rid of geneseed defects is stupid and makes little sense. Hell, the Black Rage isn't even a geneseed defect, the Red Thirst is. The Black rage is their psychic shock from the death of Sanguinius.Also, the curse of the wolfen seems to be anti-corruption anyways. Space wolves turn into wolfen instead of mutation normally when exposed to Chaos
>Be me Reiver Sgt. Chesty Puller>Standing in the bridge of the ship looking at this cluster fuck>Look over to the weapons officer and tell him to fire some nukes at the problems>This should be interesting
>>62712809 I know what you're saying, and I feel for you. But that is the oath that he took with primaris marines.>As for the red thirst, the blood Angels still have it. Though it's diminished slightly.
>>62712809I mean Primaris are basically a way to retcon the SM models without making people's collections worthless. So yeah GW did push a heaping pile of in universe retcon with that. Primaris are immune to chaos corruption so that CSM and SM can be more distinct from each other and so that the setting can have incorruptible space knights that aren't the GKBut lets stop this and finally get off the space hulk
>the entire immaterium begins to fill with long black shlongs>the daemonettes stop guarding the sorceress to chase immaterial shlongs
>>62712730"a couple people in the discord server wanted off the space hulk"So we're just going to abandon the people in the blackstone fortress lodged in this damned space hulk then? We going to end this or continue to another thread? There's three moons to play with if we do end up continuing, by the way.
> be me, Sword brethren Wilhelm Mordred, > be seconded to the deathwatch a while ago> fuckyeahxenoskilling.purge> hear about some clusterfuck with some of my brothers involved. > hear that the team has gone silent> herewegoagain.vox> show up at the system....> what> the > fuck> why the hell....> stand next to the primaris reiver> look at him...sir.... what the fuck is this?
>>62712888 let's keep this going, have the space hulk crash onto one of the moons and have the fighting go on there
>>62712901Don't worry we are just throwing nukes at it.
>>62712888 understandable. If they're inside a Blackstone fortress, and someone just nuked the hulk, then have the fortress crash onto one of the moons, while the rest plummets into tiddius majoris.Problem solved
>>62712925> he nods> seems reasonablevery well sir.
>>62712921>>62712854>>62712862>>62712730>>62712809>>62712684>>62712668>>62712660>>62712643>>62712540>the daemonettes on the ship frantically pant and run about>trying to catch the long immaterial black shlongs
>Just laying in the ground>My all is burning>Suddenly feel a quake>Turn to my sorceress sister"They're bombarding us, aren't they">By Tzeentch i will fry each of their brains once i can get up>I mean, i have the book, i could just leave>But killing them all sounds like the more appropiate optionthread's hit bump limit, do we make another one?
>>62712941 I'll be real with you. The way I read it, made me think that all the daemonettes on the hulk are running around, chasing their big black dicks, like a bunch of dogs chasing their tails.
>>62713012 go for it
>>62713012>Picks her up"Yes Sister, Just as planned.">One of the warp drives, suffused with the pink mist, is hit, sending the space hulk careening into one of the moons, covering vast swathes of it in mist
>>62713022>>62713028>>62713012>more big black bars!
>>62713048 you like big, hard, throbbing black bars. Don't you, you dirty fucking slut! You crave them, don't you!
>>62712927>The apprentice inquisitor, still wearing is almost new (except the crotch area) power armor begins to rest his head near a corner of the thunderhawk. He spent almost all of his ammunition and killed too many deamons for him to count.>It all started with him going on a planet with his friends to eliminate potential heresy. Turns out the cultists were able to summon deamons and with the help of a yellow warp gel, give them psykic abilities high enough to collectively teleport the planet into the immaterium. He also lost half od his friends and the other halfs became heretics.>He was trapped in a space hulk with bolter bitches, space marines and other nutjobs, probably raped, killed deamons and seen things he never dared to imagine.>Now this young boy is sleeping in the thunderhawk, recovering after everything that happened to him.[I think I'll go to bed, is there a way to rejoin the new thread afterward? I'd like to go back tomorrow!]
>>62713045 no! Bad! No more mist!>Begins spraying you with a spray bottleBad dogs!
>>62713070Yeah man just hop into the next one wherever
>>62713070 I can send you the discord link, if you don't have it https://discord.gg/BKbmg8
>>62712379>>62712278>>62712261>>62712498>>62712818>>62713045>Be me>Canoness Helga of the Order of the Golden Light>Have my "harem", and was about to go retrieve my 'kriegswoman' not-fucktoy Primaris Deathwatch marine>Get grabbed by Marines Malevolent marines as they blow out the windows and bring us all to the safety of a thunderhawk gunship outside of the hulk>God-EmperorBePraised.litany>Immediately pull my Autarch and Guardswoman companions away from the Intercessors before they get any 'neck-snapping' ideas>It's not that I don't trust them, but...>Even by the borderline heretical mutants that the Adeptus Astartes are, these ones rub me in all the wrong ways>WhatI'dgiveforsomeSalamandersRightNow.voxpict>Watch as a several nukes fly out toward the space hulk, reaching up to shield Slutarch's eyes as they detonate>She doesn't quite seem right in the head>Realize the Space Hulk is careening straight down onto Tiddius Majoris' largest moon Culus>It's the one where the planetary governor and a modest hive of Administratum, laborers and guardsmen is >"Oh for Throne's sake..."
>>62713045>Feel tremendous shake >What>We're crashing straight into a moon>OhGoodie.warp>Hopefully the fresh treated might get rid of the slaaneshi shit and>No wait it's littered everywhere>As i turnmy head towards my sister i ask"Do you think i'll turn back if i breathe enough of that shit or am i stuck like this forever"
>>62713101>Be me Reiver Sgt. Chesty Puller>Hoping i didn't upset Sanguinius with that>Make call on comms and see if anyone can give me info on recent events>What i wouldn't give for some Adepta Sororitas right now
>>62713151>Get us and stretches>Utterly massive assets.sorceress"Maybe? Tzeentch is the lord of change and ever-changing forms. Just mutate yourself to a point where you're in more or less your original shape. It's not like any of us sons of Magnus look anything like we used to. I've heard that Ahriman doesn't even have a head beneath that big horned helmet of his, that it's just a screaming vortex.">Magics up some armor to fit my physique"As for me, I think I'll stay like this for awhile, until Lord Tzeentch decides that things should change."
>>62713101>The moment the Canoess attempts to bring her tow fellows towards her, is the moment the Reivers begin pointing guns at people's heads.>Stealth.exe engagedI suggest you let the xeno go, Canoess. Lest I have you executed for corruption and heresy, from your latest battle. That witch will be given a five minute head start to run. And then we're going to hunt her and her kind down, on the moon below.
>>62713101>Be Guardswoman Daisy, formerly Guardsman Duke>Warp exposure has affected me in a serious way. Hard to think, and I'm too damn happy. This ain't right!>"Ara ara~ Helga Onee-san, why is the moon getting bigger?~">Emperor damn my sudden idiocy!>And why is she even MORE appealing than ever?!>sexuallyconfused.yuri?
>>62713212> what the fu-> you've gotta be...ummm.... what chapter do you belong to again?> I have an idea but.....
>Nukes hit space hulk>Class 10 earthshake up in hereHOLY FUCK!!!>Body starts to pinball up down, left, and right the hallOW OW OW OOF OW OOF OOF AH AH AHHHHHHH!
>>62713101>be me>be the greater daemon of shamwow>some kevin spacy marine threw a bunch of nukes at my new nightclub>its careening into a fucking moon>where the fuck did that come from?>wait>thats no moon>its >another fucking space hulk>brace for impact in 60 minutes or less>Imaneedmorewarpdust.avi>call up those sorceress nerds>>62713151>>62713208"Hey nerds billy mays here, we're crashing into another space hulk and getting nuked by deathwatch, do something!"
>>62713212>Shaking off the worst affects of the pink mist, Gwyndolin looks sternly at the marines malevolent>Time to chew out some assholes"Now you listen here astartes: I have heard tell of your chapter and your actions, and you have no ground to stand on when you speak of heresies. You are the single most cruel and despicable chapter that still lays claim to loyalty. You revel in "collateral damage" and view the Emperor's people as nothing but obstacles in your way. The only reason you have not been declared traitors is because you are always gone from responsibility before the Inquisition arrives to brand you.">Breathing in deeply of the thunder hawk's clean air"I will not allow you to threaten our Canoness."
>Sit next to >>62713172Hello
>>62713272>Looks at the daemon"You need to get your eyes checked. That is not another space hulk, that's a populated moon."
>>62713172>get this vox>send a bunch of daemonettes to that sector>need more warp dust
>>62713284>look again>populated moon"Still, DO SOMETHING!">wait we can sell things to them!>lets sell daemonettes!
>>62713277>>62713277>Be Guardswoman Daisy >Listen in on the exchange because I have fuck all else to do>its nice that Sister Gwyndolin is standing up to the horribly mean Space Marine>urgetohug.glomp>"Awwwww, Gwyndolin Onee-san! You're soooooo cool!~">Dammit... why cant I control myself?
>>62713277> breathe in the clean air of the space hulk as well.> praise the emperor for that.> wait.... they are from that chapter.> See Gwyndolin begin to argue with them.> shit> grab Gwyndolin by the shouldersister.... this is not a battle you will win. Please. Just do as they say for now. We shall be out of here soon enough.
>>62713282>Look at the person and reply while waiting for a response on my open hail.Hello.>Make another hail on the open Vox channel for anyone to respond.
>>62713302"Well, yes. Spread the mists and such.">Gathering up my Tzaangors and rubrics.>Tzaangors are all chicks at this point, of course>But...>The rubrics are too?>How is that->Oh, they weren't affected by the mists>The tzaangors just though it would be funny to reshape their armor bodies>Very funny
>suddenly sprout a bird's head"Did I say daemonettes? I meant horrors! PINK HORRORS!"
>>62713208"Yes but i've put real dedication to not get mutated, just in case one of those fucks with my pskyer powers, and i had a pretty good fuckin record">In reality i just was saving myself for a third eye mutation>But this has to be pleasing slaanesh>Anyway, time to test my theroyit's 5 AM here so see ye later
>>62713239>Without even looking towards her.Marines Malevolent.>>62713277>With but a subtle tilt of his skull faced mask. The Primaris Reiver speaks towards her. His blood red eyes, starring towards her, and through her at the same time.> His voice rather calm as it comes through his helmet's vox grill....Are you finished, sister?
>>62713348> panic.litany> oh throne...> fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
>>62713348"I believe I am, Astartes.">Sits next to the Canoness and adjust armor>Thank the Emperor is still actually fits
>After being thrown like a pinball and not breaking any bones somehow, his long-las manage to get back to him by hitting him in the faceOw ow ow>Long-las hit his face *WACK*OW!The fuck was- Hey my long-las>Can't move, Warp dust finally left the systemI cannot move... Great>sigh
>>62713325>a very distressed woman responds>be kriegswoman>totally confused at everything>some spaceballs marine starts calling out to loyalists after the ship gets rocked and the temperature rises a bit>don't know what else to do since respirator broke>answer>half delusional"HELLO??? HELLO??? IS THIS THE ARTILLERY!?? WE NEED EVAC! DESTROY THIS SHIP!"
>Hear >>62713388Bre-Breezy is that you?
>>62713399>>62713411>Be big titty tzaangor>Be separated from flock herd>Have empty nest syndrome>Be sad>See two little chicks>Adopt.exe"Don't worry, mommy's here! She will keep you in good care. Would little chicks like regurgitated worms?"
>>62713411"THE BITCH DESTROYED MY RESPIRATOR!"
>>62713399>Hear crazy woman on the vox and i respond to her on a encrypted frequency, she sounds like she has big titsWhat is your condition, and can you give me the coordinates of the nearest hanger bay?
>>62713375>The moment she had said she was finished, he speaks up.Good...>Before she can respond. His hand his immediately reaches out, and constricts around her throat. The armored hand squeeseing down upon her windpipe, and he lifts her up, and pulls her up and towards his skull like face. Her choking reflection shown in the blood red eye lenses of his helmet.While your opinion of my chapter is yours to make. I will say this once, and only once.I do not CARE what you have to say. I do not care how you feel about me. And I certainly do not care about your feelings about our methods.>His grip tightens around her throat. Almost to the point of snapping her neck.But should you ever insult my chapter again. I will not only snap your neck. But I will have your entire sisterhood excommunicated, your bodies burned, and your existence expunged form history, for the heresy you have all spouted and dealt with upon the planet and space hulk.>He quickly lets go of her, letting her drop to the ground below.If anyone is not appreciative of our rescue methods. You can begin your long walk to the nearest planet. But I highly doubt you'll make it.
>>62713433>see commissar walking down the hallway>wants to give something>orders"Yes Commissar!"
>>62713325What is are mission
>>62713445SISTER!> she jumps to her feet.> dammit put Gwyn down!> she latches onto his armPlease forgive her astartes, she is still recovering from the affects of the gas and not in full control of her faculties. Just put her down.
>>62713212>>62713277>Be Canoness Helga>Let go of Slutarch and calmly the business end of my flamer in the Reivers' faces, ready to douse them on a moment's notice with blessed promethium>In a dangerously soft voice:>"Heresy? Did you just threaten to execute me, a Canoness and servant of the holy Eccelesiarchy, for heresy?">Push Autarch and Sister Gwyndolin behind me as my righteous fury starts to build:>"Let's get a few things straight right now, Sergeant. One: I am a Canoness, which in terms of rank would put me high above you on the overall chain of command. Two, I am a member of the Eccelesiarchy, you are not, which means declarations of heresy fall under MY jurisdiction, NOT yours. Three, your chapter is already borderline heretical with its complete disregard for the people of the Imperium. Frankly, You are completely beneath contempt, and the only reason I haven't declared you heretics, mutant abominations and sins against the God-Emperor's holy design is a) you haven't actually committed any said heresies in front of me yet, and b) it would be impolite to execute the ones who actually saved me and those under my protection. Now if you decide to try and kill those under my protection-">Nod toward the Autarch>"-then you're going to find out EXACTLY how dangerous a veteran Canoness like me is in extreme close quarters combat.">Dangerously soft voice takes on an ominous tone:>"Do I make myself absolutely clear, Astartes?"
>>62713444"There is a destroyed craftworld, uploading exact position!">forwards exact coordinates on the space hulk>return attention to the commissar
>>62713368>Walking away from the sisters. His blood red lenses, find themselves upon the crusader.>His boots echo out across the hold, as he slowly walks towards her. The skull of his mask, emitting an aura of fear upon her.
>>62713478> she bows to the astartes. Please forgive my companions they know not what they say.> motherfucker we're all technically tainted, do you really want to risk them declaring us mutants and killing us all? Nobody would even know.
>Still can't move>See deamonBreezy no that a deamon>Soul: A deamon with tits thats not a deamonette... how the fuck?
>>62713452>Very good chick>Obedient to mommy"Mommy just want you to be good chick that grows up to be big strong bird.">She pats the kriegar on the head
>>62713445>Be Guardswoman Daisy>This mean man just hurt Gwyndolin Onee-san>thiswillnotstand.rage>walk up to him with my usual blissful smile and reach up, gently grasping his helmet and squeeze>"Oh, Onii-chan...~ If you hurt my Onee-sans again, I'll rip your gene mods out with my teeth and hang you with your minuscule testicals. Please try to be nice in the future~">let go of his helmet, leaving very visible hand prints where I grabbed it>wtf.vox>How did I do that?>Doesnt matter, I guess. I'm going to fucking die as an idiot.
>>62713475>Recieve exact coordinates and launch the Deathwatch teams at the position>My boarding torpedo lands and i exit i see a big titty kriegswoman and a daemonette>I jump in and start shooting at the daemonette and drive her off>>62713433>Not taking my eyes off the enemy fleeing i tell the kriegswoman it will be alright the Deathwatch is here
>>62713503DIE DAEMON SCUM!> open fire with bolter.> dakkadakkamotherfucker.> throw big titty kriegswoman over shoulder and fire bolter one handed.
BACK TO THE WARP DEAMON!!!>Shoots at >>62713489 with heavy bolter
>>62713470>He stops at hearing the Canoess speak up towards him.>Behind his mask, his face curves into a smile.>Turning around to face her. He calmly walks towards her. A burst of vox static, eminating from his helmet, as he communicates with someone on the other end.>Upon stepping infront of her. He tilts his head down towards her, as sound begins to be played, throughout the interior of the hold. The holoith on the ceiling, displaying her various lewd acts towards each individual.>Make out sessions with a Xenos, fellow sisters, crusaders, imperial Guardsmen.>All in high definition, with accompanying audio. And all from multiple angles.I believe this is all the proof I require, for you to silence yourself at this point.It has already been downloaded, by my battle-barge's mainframe. And will be brought to the attention of the Inquisition, should I not tell them to remain quiet.Your entire order will be disgraced. And you will be put to death for these crimes of corruption, and heresy.
>>62713515"Watchmaster? You're so forward!"
EMPEROR PROTECTS ITS THE SPACE MARINE!!!>Shows huge awe and smile
>>62713524> look at the woman on my shoulderwhat the fu-
>Looks at >>62713526What are you doing laying on the ground like a lazy fuck. Can you not move.
>>62713494 trying not to be an asshole. But I suggest you delete that post. My character requires her arm be broken, and her head repeatedly smashed into the floor until it's like a watermelon that has been dropped from 40 stories upAnd I don't want to be that guy
>>62713562That's a problem with you rather than everyone else. How about INSTEAD of you doing that, everyone else instead murders the character that hates all of them and has approximately 1 marine left with him since the rest died or turned into titty monsters
>Looks at >>62713559I'm afraid that I cannot sir, the warp dust cause to dance against my will to point I question how I did not die of exhaustion *pant* *pant*Do you mind pick me up and take to safety with my long-las.
>>62713578 actually, there are still 12 other marines, excluding Eisen. I four reivers from itty syndrome, two Intersessors from titty syndrome, and one from a lascannon shot.
>>62713595Your numbers are nonsense. You were on a space hulk. A team of 20 is way too many to maneuver in a space hulk.
What should I put in the description box when I archive this? I just got back from work and I have no idea what's going on anymore.
>>62713470>The Mon-Keigh is defending my honor>If I was still under the effects of that warp dust I'd probably be falling over myself to declare my undying love and loyalty or something>Heh>>62713523>Why did he record that?>How?"For the moment I suggest we all try to put the events of the past hours behind us. Despite succumbing to the mental effects, I remain untainted by physical mutations and my soul is not eaten by Slaanesh. Clearly it was simply an extremely strong psychic effect rather than corruption of the soul. Fighting would only serve to weaken us so that the survivors would be unable to face the true threat. Need I remind everyone that there is a possessed craftworld glutted on the souls of generations of Eldar now loose in the galaxy. What we just experienced was but a shard of its power. We must cleanse or destroy it; lest it continues to consume more souls and damns the entire galaxy."
>>62713559>>62713526>>62713524>I stand there at the ready for combat but grab the guardsman and assure them.There is no need to fear, the Deathwatch is Here.
>>62713644"Everyone grows tits again, then the Marines Malevolent show up to ruin everything"
>>62713613>>62713644 >Actually it's not.>War of secrets has Lieutenant Xedro Farren go into a kroot warsphere with roughly the same amount I went in with. Granted his were Intersessors a d hellblasters. And considering the size of a boarding torpedo, these numbers are more than accurate for what he could stuff in there >>62713644Slanneshi
>>62713665>>62713529"Hooray! The deathcult!"
>>62713669Okay. This really has turned into a massive clusterfuck, hasn't it?
>>62713672Nonsense for what you were doing, which was planting a bomb basically. You took multiple kill teams to plant one bombAlso, the largest problem with your numbers is the assumption that ONLY the ones who were stated to die or grow tits were the ones that were stated in posts, while more reasonably there should be some of these nameless NPCs that just die unmentioned along the way
>>62713669Where did the Marines Malevolent even get Primaris from anyways? They are basically a blacklisted chapter.
>>62713689What do you mean turned into?
>>62713523>Be Canoness Helga>IndignantFuryRising.litany>"If you think that threat of blackmail is going to phase me, you're sorely mistaken. We should be more concerned with the space hulk crashing into Culus and putting the entire administratum hive there at risk than killing one Eldar prisoner. Besides, since we're putting it all out there, I should probably inform you that the Eccelesiarchy is currently gunning for your entire chapter to be declared excommunicate traitoris. Do you REALLY want to give those pompous bureaucrats a chance to convince the 2nd most powerful body in the Imperium you should be terminated? Your Chapter was hated long before the Great Rift opened, and now that the Lord High Guilliman is making new chapters whole cloth from Primaris Marines, your chapter's odds of being purged for heresy, legitimate or politically motivated or not, are very, very high.">"So I suggest you back off and respect my jurisdiction on the matter!">>62713661>Casts a sideways glance at the Autarch>Well, her attitude seems relatively back to normal>Stillkindawanttomakeoutwithherthough.impurethoughts>Look back down at where the Space hulk crashed>The Order's Canoness is going to chew my ear off when she hears about this shit
>>62713705 all chapters were given them, or rebuilt from the ground up with primaris marines. Even ones destroyed or black listed.
>>62713705No idea. Marines Malevolent are the worst. The Inquisition is constantly investigating them for heresy and they have to scavenge their weapons and armor because they pissed off the mechanicus
>See >>62713665 grab >>62713584>Grab Guardsman long-las
So, anyone going to make a new thread for this, or should I start making the new OP for it?[
>>62713769Yeah go ahead man
>>62713769can we start in up in 7-8 hours? It's 2 am here, and I'm about to pass out I also apologize to anyone who is angered by Eisen. I never expected things to get this out of hand with him.
>>62713792(Guardswoman Daisy here. Sorry you got jumped on like that... I'm not going to say anything, since I dont want to put everyone through that again. Let's just put this behind us and move on.)
>>62713830((No, I understand why. And you played it well, though a canoness does not outrank a marine in any form. As for everything else, I never meant for it to get this serious. But I didn't want to play something outside of my comfort zone.
>>62713875>But I wanted to play something outside of my comfort zone.*
so this ends here for tonight
New thread is up: >>62713930>>62713875(was speaking in a mostly 'comparative command structure' sense, but yeah, Marines generally give zero fucks about what the other Imperials think).