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  • File : 1254851642.jpg-(65 KB, 291x365, drow_rules_by_barbariank.jpg)
    65 KB Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)13:54 No.6158480  
    Second thread is auto-saging

    Old thread
    >>6149075

    Also fixing post to head off any more retarded alignment discussions.

    A continuation of the Hypothetical situation thread from a few weeks ago.

    The Paladin is now free from the sex-crazed drow matron and her nympho daughters. The youngest daughter was the equivalent of a teenager, he was her first and now she's infatuated with him (hooray for teenage hormones). So she helped him escape.

    Now the Paladin is in a bit of a conundrum. He now has an adolescent drow rogue following him around. She's not evil, he checked, she's neutral. She could care less about the battle between good and evil, she's just selfish and insecure (this is a teenage girl we are talking about). She doesn't actively try to harm others or carry out acts of calculated savagery, but she is the product of a society where stealing is only wrong if you get caught and reacts violently to certain things (like calling her a 'filthy drow bitch') because she is insecure and fears rejection.

    How should the Paladin handle this situation?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/06/09(Tue)13:54 No.6158494
    Depends on the alignment of the Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)13:56 No.6158520
    Holy dickings if she does good deeds, and force her to wear a chastity belt as punishment for evil deeds. Pavlov does the rest.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)13:59 No.6158546
    >>6158480

    Bitch still sounds evil to me.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)13:59 No.6158553
    As it has been probably said before make her a lover or adventuring companion or apprentice or whatever and show her the right way. She's your responsibility now.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:00 No.6158563
    This seems related >>6158165
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:00 No.6158567
    I see we've updated the description of her behaviour since the last time I saw one of these threads and she's not actually the textbook example of evil anymore. Well done.
    >> Guardsman Terry 10/06/09(Tue)14:01 No.6158578
    The paladin should post more Drow girls in this thread.
    Multiple Drow girls are encouraged.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:02 No.6158585
    We've already answered the question, do you want a different answer?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:03 No.6158593
    We need more writefaggotry of this. Drawfaggotry would be even better.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:04 No.6158599
    He finds her a place in a community where she can grow up to what she wants to be. Tells her that her infuriation with him is a temporary thing and leaves.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:04 No.6158608
    I think the paladin should stop making these fucking threads.
    >> helpful /co/mrade 10/06/09(Tue)14:04 No.6158611
    Accept her as a person and treat her with respect, but insist on following the ways of Good. Teach her humility, self control, compassion and the values of being honored/respected on your deeds and actions. Stand up for her when others try to insult or harm her, and give her tasks that will show that she can be responsible and trustworthy.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:05 No.6158617
    she develops a paladin fetish and mentors many a hero over the years.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:05 No.6158623
    >>6158593
    There is a drawing already, if you'd notice.

    >>6158611
    This sounds about right.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:06 No.6158628
    >>6158617
    Mentors many Horo?

    Thread is now about Horo the Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:06 No.6158630
    Why do you keep wasting our time? In the old thread it was established that the drow girl is evil and so the paladin cannot associate with her. Smiting.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:18 No.6158748
    >>6158630
    Yet you then waste more of your time by posting.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:25 No.6158797
    Alright OP. I'm going to lay it out straight for you.

    I am normally the paladin or cleric in my DnD group, and I've spent a great deal of time reading over the complete paladins code of conduct.

    I'll give three different ideas of what I would do, in the same situation.

    1.) Thankful for my release, I would consider her assistance an act of good; or at the very least a start on her path to correct moral understanding. In her society she was never taught right from wrong, rather she was taught ACCEPTABLE from UNACCEPTABLE. So I'd take her along on my crusader to atone for all the immoral fetish sex I had. I'd do everything within my power to protect her, and teach her the tenets of my faith. Converting her at a PAINFULLY SLOW PACE. To ensure I don't just piss her off. With any luck if conversion is successful, I would then raise a notion to marry her. HAPPY END.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:26 No.6158806
    >>6158797

    2.) Freedom brings me new clarity, and my righteous anger is turned toward my former capture. Mad at my weakness, and the need to resort to trickery to gain my release I would take her captive and return her to my order. I would explain my story in great detail, letting the priests know the extent of her aid in my release so that she isn't simply executed on the spot. IF THE CLERICS AREN'T LAWFUL STUPID they will simply put her in prison and my responsibility over her is finished. NORMAL END.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:27 No.6158813
    >>6158806

    3a.) I go on as if nothing has changed since my release. The following night I ask her what she plans now. If I do not like her answer, or it includes evil doing I then ask her to abandon such ideas and repent her ways. If she refuses, then I am obliged to stop her through restraints. If she resists too much, or reacts too violently I kill her, and weep at the loss. Of course I'm not heartless, and I grieve at her passing. I then go on a crusade to atone. BAD END.

    3b.) Same as 3a, but if she doesn't resist I attempt 1, if 1 fails then I go with 2. If 1, or 2 aren't successful, then 3a.

    Those are my idea's OP. I'm sure very few will agree with them though. Holy dickings, etc.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:30 No.6158837
    Lawful Hot Dickings
    >> G. D. 10/06/09(Tue)14:31 No.6158854
    Frankly, I would go for a cross between >>6158520 and >>6158611.
    It's the only logical answer... teach her that good acts beget their own good rewards, and horrible acts are cause for punishment. In time, she'll understand that if she wants to keep earning praise and "rewards" from the Paladin, she'll need to adjust to a good lifestyle...

    ...now to decide on punishments for when she's bad. Fu fu fu fu~...
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:32 No.6158871
    >>6158797
    Lawful hot dickings, happy end.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:36 No.6158901
    >>6158813
    >Holy dickings

    Yes
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:37 No.6158910
    Viconia romance bitches. If she's neutral, it should be fairly easy to convert her to good given enough time and sexings.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:43 No.6158968
         File1254854607.jpg-(54 KB, 500x267, Batman spank.jpg)
    54 KB
    I'm pretty sure there's at least one option that meets both their needs.

    Batman counts as a paladin, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:44 No.6158984
    If she's still a teenager and you're taking on the role of being her provider, wouldn't it be wrong to change the relationship to something other than platonic? Else you'd just be abusing someone not on the same level as yourself.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:47 No.6159015
    >>6158984
    It's kinda hard to consider it abuse when she seems ready to jump your crotch any chance she gets.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:48 No.6159033
    DO WE REALLY NEED A THIRD THREAD ABOUT THIS!?

    >How should the Paladin handle this situation?
    Pray to his god/goddess for advice. There, problem solved.

    Come up with a new situation already.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:49 No.6159040
    The Paladin should tell her to go home. She'll just get in the way of SMITE EVIL.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:52 No.6159086
    >>6159033

    So long as you guys keep filling them to autosage, I will keep posting them.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:54 No.6159114
         File1254855281.jpg-(266 KB, 1175x1226, drow-chan.jpg)
    266 KB
    The answer was already drawn by a friendly drawfag

    Say hello to Paladin and Drow-chan
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:54 No.6159116
    >>6159033
    I agree. This was discussed to death already.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)14:55 No.6159126
    >>6159015
    It's a crush, she's emotionally vulnerable and you're in a position of power. If you act on it you are shaping and guiding her with a far larger effect than a normal relationship would have had.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:00 No.6159173
    >>6158984
    Drow culture considers her old enough to be a willing participant in an orgy, therefore she's past the Drow age of consent by definition.
    >> Sandwich !Js8rwwvZeU 10/06/09(Tue)15:01 No.6159180
    Sandy writefag here

    This has been discussed to death. However, I would like to see some decent writefaggotry of Alaric and Drisryna, perhaps starting with wild sexings and slowly turning into sappy romance.

    BRB writing.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:01 No.6159185
         File1254855713.jpg-(28 KB, 320x240, 1203426201309.jpg)
    28 KB
    >>6159114
    THAT'S AWESOME.
    >> helpful /co/mrade 10/06/09(Tue)15:03 No.6159216
    >>6159180
    Hurray!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:04 No.6159227
    >>6159173
    But the Paladin doesn't uphold Drow culture or its values.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:06 No.6159251
    >>6158901

    He calls his penis "the Holy Avenger"
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:07 No.6159268
    >>6159251
    "Unf unf unf, Smite me! SMITE ME!"
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:10 No.6159297
         File1254856228.jpg-(117 KB, 520x358, About art 2.jpg)
    117 KB
    This thread is the reason why nobody will ever love you.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:10 No.6159307
    >>6159268
    This reminds me of the thread about the monk/paladin and the succubus.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:11 No.6159313
    >>6159307
    Do elaborate, I don't remember that one. Was it archived?
    >> helpful /co/mrade 10/06/09(Tue)15:11 No.6159314
    >>6159268
    And now I'm reminded of the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with Sir Tristan in the castle of horny nuns...
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:13 No.6159335
    Play a real game like 4e or Exalted or Shadowrun or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:16 No.6159358
         File1254856565.jpg-(102 KB, 400x576, 1205478012347.jpg)
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    >>6159335
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:36 No.6159646
         File1254857813.jpg-(55 KB, 640x439, dowant.jpg)
    55 KB
    >>6159180
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:39 No.6159692
    He would take a Bible of <Insert Deity Here> and BEAT THE WORD OF GAWD INTO HER HEATHEN SOULA! CAN I GET AN AMENA!

    Suddenly I know what character I'll be playing in my next campaign.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:46 No.6159802
    >>6159313
    Somewhere. Succubus threatens paladin's party unless Lawful Hot dickings are given out. Awesome ending is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:51 No.6159874
    >>6159692
    The Drow rogue, or the Paladin?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:54 No.6159920
    >>6159874
    Neither.

    The crazed cleric of <Insert Deity Here> who beats his religion into people with a bible, Southern Baptist style.

    Weapon Focus (Book), baby!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:55 No.6159952
         File1254858955.png-(68 KB, 708x838, he listens.png)
    68 KB
    hahaha! for some reason, i find this comic related to the topic.
    replace lonehunter with the paladin, and the cat with the drow girl.
    next, she's at the pub telling other people (with a face like "who are you and why you're speaking to me"), saying something like "you know what i love about my partner? he's SO charming!"
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)15:57 No.6159983
    >>6159692
    Remember that Preacher voice you could pick for your character in Neverwinter Nights?

    That was fuck awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)16:49 No.6160643
    >>6159180

    Bump because this writefag had best deliver.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)16:50 No.6160664
    >>6159983
    "AH-TAK, I SAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY AH-TAK!"
    >> Sandwich !Js8rwwvZeU 10/06/09(Tue)17:11 No.6161003
    >>6160643

    Working on it, when I'm done it will have it's own thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)17:12 No.6161019
    >>6159983
    I also liked the high pitched girly one.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)17:40 No.6161427
    >>6161003

    Good times.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)17:43 No.6161459
    Fuck you OP, how many times do you want to bring this up again?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)17:57 No.6161654
    looking foward to this.
    also, looking foward to drawfaggotry support.
    it's the third reason i come to this board.
    1) awesome illustrations.
    2) western T&A that doesn't look like drawn for a tijuana bible.
    3) drawfags.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:03 No.6161726
    >>6161654
    Admittedly, Tijuana Bibles are unintentionally hilarious. I think tg should just take over r sometime and do a few epic porn posts.
    >> Red - 3566-1217-2822 !!OjTmHLwCe7A 10/06/09(Tue)18:16 No.6161886
    As a Paladin, I'd have to honor what love she does have, and take her with me in show of my gratitude for saving me.

    Her education would be slow, but explained and meaningful; I'd tell her right to her face that at the moment I'd have no requisite feelings for her, but I'd take care of her for as long as she needed me to. If she is willing to change, all the better. It's all a more natural development thing and teaching by example.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:18 No.6161907
    sage
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:22 No.6161943
    >>6159180
    >BRB writing.

    I SIT WAITING WITH BATED BREATH.
    >> Sandwich !Js8rwwvZeU 10/06/09(Tue)18:24 No.6161966
    Unfortunately, don't expect anything until tomorrow. I'll be going to my girlfriend's block party.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:29 No.6162006
    >>6161943
    >>Mouth that fires bats
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:30 No.6162015
         File1254868234.jpg-(22 KB, 490x359, 1251763967824.jpg)
    22 KB
    >>6161966
    >I'll be going to my girlfriend's block party.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:36 No.6162061
    I"d say he should use her infatuation to make her good aligned (hopefully lawful good), and then marry her

    that's probably what a normal paladin would do. The only paladin I played was a sort of "JUSTICE" dude, running around like some kind of super hero
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:38 No.6162078
    >Typical Drow Female
    >Not Evil

    Uhhh, No
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:39 No.6162088
    Oh look, this shit is still on.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:43 No.6162120
         File1254868985.jpg-(223 KB, 576x720, Butthurt Report Form (Internet(...).jpg)
    223 KB
    >>6162088
    Oh look, this fag's still alive.
    >> Red - 3566-1217-2822 !!OjTmHLwCe7A 10/06/09(Tue)18:46 No.6162157
    >>6162061
    Good DMs choose these Paladins.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:46 No.6162158
         File1254869187.jpg-(38 KB, 379x267, ahmadinejad.jpg)
    38 KB
    >>6162120
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:50 No.6162210
    >>6162120
    >lol imma tell my buddies on ED about how i totally pwnt this fag XD
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:51 No.6162215
         File1254869473.jpg-(26 KB, 380x290, bush-scares-baby.jpg)
    26 KB
    >>6162158
    >> G. D. 10/06/09(Tue)18:55 No.6162258
    >>6159335
    >Play a real game like 4e...
    >...real game...
    >...4e...

    What? Wait... WHAT?!
    >>6162061
    >The only paladin I played was a sort of "JUSTICE" dude, running around like some kind of super hero.
    I can just imagine this; your paladin wore full plate, had a cape and were renowned as the "Man of Steel".
    One day, he gets it in his head that he thinks he can fly and jumps off a cliff...

    ...paladin falls.

    Heh, bad paladin humor is baaaaaad... but seriously, glad to see this thread hasn't hit auto yet... some of the answers are really well-thought.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)18:59 No.6162300
         File1254869974.jpg-(27 KB, 272x311, ShirouSays.jpg)
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    >>6162210
    Who the fuck even talks like this? Or even types like it?

    >ED
    And what the fuck site is this?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:00 No.6162315
    >>6162300

    >the joke
    -
    -
    -
    >your head
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:09 No.6162417
    >>6162315
    No. I get that he was saying that he believes I'm some retard that thinks he's "1337" and superior because he posts image replies to sagefags.

    >My head
    -
    -
    -
    >The joke

    And I'd still like to know what the fuck site ED is supposed to be. Is it that shithole Encyclopedia Dramatica? That place is all the shit that's wrong with /b/.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:11 No.6162437
    >>6162417

    ED is Eradication of Dipshits, of course.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:13 No.6162462
    The bot is using Arabic letters now.

    He is multi-lingual.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:15 No.6162489
    >>6162300
    Is that some homosexuality I smell?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:18 No.6162515
    >>6162462
    But it isn't even doing English right anymore...
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:20 No.6162528
         File1254871201.jpg-(46 KB, 489x364, This Taste - Irony.jpg)
    46 KB
    >>6162489
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:24 No.6162569
         File1254871447.png-(2 KB, 200x200, 1247756029987.png)
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    >>6158494
    >Depends on the alignment of the Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:26 No.6162587
         File1254871569.jpg-(65 KB, 702x500, rinsakurahahaohwow.jpg)
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    >>6162569
    Aww, look ma! It's one of those crotchety old relics from the days when paladins could only be Lawful Good!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:27 No.6162600
    >>6162569
    Haven't you heard? There are variant paladins.

    Paladin of Honor/Justice - LG (Classic)
    Paladin of Freedom - CG
    Paladin of Slaughter - CE
    Paladin of Tyranny - LE
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 10/06/09(Tue)19:28 No.6162605
    He teaches the Drowling to be good.

    again..... this isn't that hard. infact this is a very EASY paladin situation.. I don't...

    bah

    Just come up with a more entertaining and difficult challenge.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:28 No.6162612
    >>6162587

    A MAN FROM THE FUTURE!!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:29 No.6162622
    >>6162600
    Forgot something.

    http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/variantCharacterClasses.htm#paladinVariantsFreedomSlaughte
    rAndTyranny
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:29 No.6162624
    >>6162612
    The future is a terrible place. They got MMORPG in our D&D.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:32 No.6162652
    >>6162600

    >Paladin of Honor/Justice - LG (Classic)
    fine
    >Paladin of Freedom - CG
    fine
    >Paladin of Slaughter - CE
    How does that make sense
    >Paladin of Tyranny - LE
    How does that make sense
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:34 No.6162680
    >>6162652

    I suppose it makes sense in the "Champion fighting for a cause" definition but still. Why use the word Paladin. Why not just Champion?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:35 No.6162686
    >>6162652
    Paladins of evil Gods.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:39 No.6162729
    >>6162686

    Yeah but it just sounds wrong, they could technically be called "Holy defenders of Slaughter/Tyranny" but it just sounds...wrong. Like calling a fighter that has no god yet is LG "The unholy rapist of disorder" The title means he is not backed by any gods but he hates disorder yet makes him sound evil.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:49 No.6162801
    >>6159692

    >CAN I GET AN AMENA!
    read this as
    >CAN I GET AN ENEMA!

    >>6162605

    > this is a very EASY paladin situation.
    This. The original thread was both sexy and thought-provoking, while this one is much less sexy and just a tad d'aww. The d'aww is nice but it isn't enough to make up for the loss of drow orgy sexiness, and the thought-provoking part of the situation is now thrown by the wayside, since the paladin is no longer in danger of falling.
    The only thing I think he should do that hasn't been mentioned already is go to the temple and pray to his god for not having escaped sooner. Even if a paladin doesn't do anything fall-worthy, he should still acknowledge that there could have been a better way to fight evil.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)19:49 No.6162806
    >>6162624
    >BAWWWWWWWWW

    Prove it.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:08 No.6162979
    >>6162801
    Drowling converts to Eilistraee, brings stripper friends over to rape paladin again. Goes on quest for harpy ooze.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:09 No.6162986
    >>6162600
    >>6162652
    >>6162680
    >>6162729

    >Variant paladins
    Paladin in the D&D world is a word with connotations of right and good, and it wouldn't really be right to use the term with other alignments.

    Paladin comes from "Palatine," the latin term for palace guards. I propose the following substitute terms for variants:
    Libertines- CG (From Liberty)
    Executors- LE (From Execute)
    Mazacors-CE (From an old form of the word 'massacre')
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:11 No.6163010
    >>6162986
    >>Libertines- CG (From Liberty)
    Libertines of Sune! Just passing out the hot dickings!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:13 No.6163022
         File1254874384.jpg-(15 KB, 188x212, hayateapproved02.jpg)
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    >>6162986
    >Libertines

    >lib⋅er⋅tine
    >–noun
    >1. a person who is morally or sexually unrestrained, esp. a dissolute man; a profligate; rake.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:15 No.6163052
    >>6163022
    Go back to molesting Signum.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:16 No.6163060
    She will become a Priestess of Mask and kill the Paladin

    Or the Paladin will fall
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:18 No.6163083
    >>6163060
    This. And /thread
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:18 No.6163090
         File1254874731.jpg-(127 KB, 500x700, signumqipao.jpg)
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    >>6163052
    Don't mind if I do.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:23 No.6163149
    >>6162587
    >Aww, look ma! It's one of those crotchety old relics from the days when paladins could only be Lawful Good!

    Aww look! AND NOW THEY ARE AGAIN.

    A dick. Eat it.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:24 No.6163153
    >>6163090
    She likes black thongs too. I bet Hayate picks out their undergarments.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:25 No.6163160
    >>6163153
    Influences, does not pick. If Hayate picked they'd all be wearing crotchless leather fetishwear all the time.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:26 No.6163181
    >>6163160
    So how do we know they aren't underneath the skirts?

    *Insert crotchless leather bondage gear wearing Miniboss here*
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:27 No.6163190
         File1254875273.gif-(1.54 MB, 375x191, smallbossawake.gif)
    1.54 MB
    >>6163181
    I...I don't know how to feel about this.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:28 No.6163195
    >>6163190
    I would imagine wondering where the hell she got someone to make it.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:35 No.6163280
         File1254875722.jpg-(313 KB, 690x647, 20071228c04Holidaycard.jpg)
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    moar delicious drow pictures!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)20:58 No.6163495
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    Lungs raw and feet aching, Alaric finally could go no further, dropping to his knees on the cavern floor. Seemingly tireless, still warmly wrapped in her noble's piwafi, Drisryna strolled past him, nimbly stepping across the rocky floor that he had been trudging and stumbling over for hours. Finally she turned, a whirl of white hair. "I suppose this will do, for a few hours." He could only pant in reply, on hands and knees. His body ached from more than the march--welts from floggers and fingernails, bitemarks, and the chafing of his abused penis inside the rough, ill-fitting trousers.

    Drisryna continued, voice almost perversely cheerful. "Mother will have noticed you're missing by now. She'll be in a rage, I'm certain--she doesn't want anyone taking her toys until she's done with them." A soft, musical giggle. "Of course, when she's done with a boy-slave, she usually just gives him to Lolth. So you should thank me!" The girl finally sat herself on a nearby rock, folding her legs beneath herself.

    Finally, the paladin found his voice. He forced himself to look at her face, forcing down the combination of fear and lust that he still felt whenever he did so. "I...do thank you. I can't understand why, though--why you would turn against your mother, over me." He tried to choose his words carefully; knowing he needed her help to escape. Say the wrong thing, and her caprice might as well turn against him.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:00 No.6163513
    >>6163495


    She unfolded her legs--long, distractingly long--and got to her feet again, standing just before him. Her hands slid into his hair, caressing as she turned his face upward. "Because I wanted you for myself. Mother is growing weak--she spends too much time at her orgies, full of kalat-smoke. And my sisters aren't much better. Mother has kept them close, kept them from plotting against her by using her own toys and pleasures to distract them. But they're all going soft. So I'm taking you for myself." Her hands pulled him closer, his face nestled against her smooth, flat belly, bare beneath the parted piwafi. All he could smell was her skin, tinged with perfume and musk.

    He placed a hand on her hip, managing to turn his head slightly to speak. "But where are you going to go?"

    "I don't know. Shar'kaeth, perhaps." Another impish giggle, her navel undulating before him. "You think I should go to the surface, xas? You want to -save- me. I can see it." She shifted her feet, her thighs parted, a knee bending as she leaned into him, forcing him to arch backward. "Fuck me again, and perhaps I'll be smitten, and follow you anywhere."

    He managed finally to slip a forearm across her belly, and pushed her away--pushing himself away, as much as anything. His groin throbbed. "No," he groaned. "Not now. Not this way."
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:04 No.6163552
    >>6163495
    >>6163513
    It rocketh mightily; yea, verily!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:11 No.6163629
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    somehow, i imagine the paladin with the voice of the imperial guards.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:15 No.6163672
    >>6163629
    "We'll get through this, I KNOW it"?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:15 No.6163676
    >>6163513
    "Waela rivvil!" she hissed, slapping his face hard enough to send him sprawling. He rose, managing to bring himself to his feet again, looking her in the eye as the side of his face numbed, then began to throb with pain. "You refuse me? ME? You want to be back in the rothe pens, maybe? I'll gut you first!" Her hand was on the hilt of her dagger now. He dared not move. A brief prayer, silently in the back of his mind, then he spoke again, nothing to be done but to follow the only path ahead.

    "Drisryna..." His voice croaked. He steadied himself. "I need you. Without you, I die. I cannot find my way to the surface, have no food or water. All I can do...is put myself at your mercy. But...this is not the place. We have not the time. We must rest, and then go further. You are at risk too...and I do not want you to be hurt for me."

    He was almost surprised at the words. Surprised that it was the truth. He finally looked down, breaking from that fiery gaze of hers. He tried not to sway on his feet. His hamstring trembled, threatening to cramp and buckle. Finally he felt her hand on his cheek, the warmth of her slim body pressing against him. Her lips brushing against his throat as she spoke.

    "Very well then, paladin. I wait. But not for so long. You are mine, here or on the surface. You will see."
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:19 No.6163703
    >>6163629
    HERESY!

    His voice shall be that of Kurt Russel.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:28 No.6163793
    >>6163703
    as much as i love his voice, i don't think it suits a paladin. or maybe i'm just thinking on snake pliskin and you're right.
    i like the guard's voice more, he has that "I AM THE LAW" kind of voice.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:31 No.6163819
    >>6163793
    our paladin is more of a
    GOOD FOR THE GOOD GOD!
    KINDNESS FOR THE KINDNESS THRONE
    kind of guy though
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:35 No.6163870
    >>6163153
    >>6163160
    >>6163190
    >>6163181
    What is this in reference too?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:36 No.6163887
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    >>6163676

    Continue...
    >> Necronomicon 10/06/09(Tue)21:43 No.6163945
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    >>6163676
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:50 No.6164030
    >>6159180

    Did you guys ever decide what god Alaric was a paladin of? Writefag kind of wants to know, not that it makes a huge difference.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:53 No.6164053
    don't think a god was decided upon
    I was always a fan of paladins of Ilmater, if you're taking suggestions
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:55 No.6164084
    >>6164030
    It would depend on the reason that he was down there. He could be a paladin of Heironeous hunting down a party of drow raiders, or one of Bahamut looking for an evil dragons lair that he heard abour. More backstory on Alaric. I like the heironeous one more, because it sets up why he was captured, and the daughter wasn't part of the raid so he holds no grudge.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)21:58 No.6164113
    >>6163022

    Sodomize the dark elf matron in the name of Corellon.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:03 No.6164168
    He led her now, under the violet skies of morning. The rags he had used for shoes were gone now, and his feet were blistered and bleeding from scratches on the forest floor. But he pressed on, wanting to put miles between themselves and the cave exit. He wasn't sure where to take her--where she would be safe. Or something close to it. But as mouthy and obnoxious as she could be, he owed her. And he told himself that was all it was, over and over as though he might eventually believe it.

    They traveled late into the evening, and rose early in the morning, finding shelter from the midday hours. She huddled under her cloak, still miserable, hissing at him like a wet cat if he attempted to make conversation. She was still armed; he was not, though he had been using a dead-fallen branch for a walking stick for a few days now.

    The first night under the stars, she had stared at them for hours. Then in the morning he found her nestled against his body. When he stirred, she rose, straddling him, and mounted his morning erection without so much as a word or a caress, She took him--there was no other word for it. But he could not call it rape, to himself. Not the way he had grabbed so eagerly at her body, a silent request for forgiveness even as he abandoned himself to pure carnal pleasure. It had seemed to calm her for a little while, though her irritability had been replaced by smugness, occasionally barking orders at him as if to a servant. It turned out she was incapable of even braiding her own hair, and each midday he found himself clumsily combing out her long hair with his fingertips, plaiting it back into a crooked, rough braid. Telling himself that it was worth it just to have her shut up for an hour or so.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:08 No.6164219
    >>6164168

    Let's hope she turns out a Tsundere; at the rate this is going she'll end up a spoiled brat (that is, if she's not one already).
    >> Necronomicon 10/06/09(Tue)22:09 No.6164235
    >>6164219

    I say yes to Drow Tsundere if this is a vote.

    150% yes.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:11 No.6164261
         File1254881507.jpg-(368 KB, 900x1350, 1236608204694.jpg)
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    Wait...
    >The youngest daughter was the equivalent of a teenager
    >Drow

    Hehe
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:13 No.6164273
    >>6164219
    Orc raiding party: ITS PUNCHAN TIEM
    Drow: Oh shit, oh shit!
    Paladin: SMITESMITESMITESMITESMITE
    Drow:...
    Paladin: You're welcome.
    Drow:...S-st-stupid Paladin! Its not like I needed you, or anything!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:13 No.6164281
    >>6164273

    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:17 No.6164322
    >>6164219
    >>6164235
    He'd have to take an arrow or something for her before that would happen. That's the way it ALWAYS happens.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:20 No.6164349
    >>6164322

    I like where this is going!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:22 No.6164377
    you guys write so much porn.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:23 No.6164384
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    >>6164377
    You're welcome.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:24 No.6164395
    >>6164377
    Actually less porn gets written than non-porn. It just happens in spurts. I still miss all the Xiombarg writefaggotry. Possible new fetish EVERY time.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:27 No.6164426
    >>6164168
    He was no woodsman, he knew, and he was startled, not surprised, when a voice rang out from somewhere in the canopy above them: "HALT, the both of you, or die where you stand."

    The voice was elven; he looked up, back and forth, knowing he would never see the arrows that killed him. A soft hiss next to him, and he knew that Drisryna had also looked up at the voice, and now was pulling her hood back over her eyes, the noontime sunlight too bright for her even through layers of leaves.

    "Stand away from the slave, little drow. Or do you intend to cower behind him before you die?"

    Without thinking, Alaric moved in front of her, an arm swept back to keep her still as he placed himself in front of her, a tree trunk at their back. "I am no slave, sir; I am Alaric, paladin of Torm, and this one freed me and saved my life."

    A pause, and then an elf stepped into view atop a broad tree limb, above and before them. An arrow was nocked in his bow, though it was not drawn. His expression was mocking, "Oh, little priestess? Do you have him lying for you, also?" Another voice, then, speaking in elven, flurry of words uknown to Alaric. The elf before him replied, and several seconds later, the voice spoke again.

    "My companion says that you speak true, Alaric...so far as you know. But this one is still a servant of the fallen one, is she not? She has not forsworn her allegiance?"
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:28 No.6164441
    >>6164426
    "She has turned against family and city. She has nothing to return to." Even saying so, he knew he could say no more. She still wore a piwafi blazoned with spider patterns; still had that silver symbol of her goddess hanging between her breasts--never removed, even when....he pushed the thought away.

    "You are eager to speak well of her, paladin. But what you cannot say, speaks more. Stand away from her. She must be taken to be judged, though I do not think well of her fate."

    Muttered words behind him, which he assumed to be curses. He winced slightly when he heard "Lolth," more than once. His arm pressed her closer, refusing to move. And then he felt a small, slim hand brush against his, and the hilt of a long dagger pressed into his grip. Her voice was a hissed, prideful whisper. "They will naut take me. Go if you will, but I die here, not in chains."

    He said nothing, only glaring at the elven ranger above. "I owe her my life, sir. I will not abandon her. Not when... not to a summary execution."

    The elf watched him, wordlessly. Then he leaped from tree branch to the ground, removing the arrow from his bow as he moved closer, standing several paces away. "If you speak for her, paladin, then we will hold any of her crimes against you. Do you understand?"

    Alaric's teeth clenched painfully together. But he had come this far; he had made promises. He could not turn back.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:31 No.6164477
    >>6164441

    f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5!
    >> Necronomicon 10/06/09(Tue)22:31 No.6164481
    >>6164441
    >>6164322

    How about a summery execution? Does that work?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:32 No.6164493
    >>6164481

    how about a summoning execution ?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:34 No.6164515
    >>6164481
    Give the dude/dudette a break, its better than most writefaggin ive tried.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:37 No.6164551
    >>6164481
    >>6164493
    >>6164515
    He used the right word.

    http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/summary

    1. concise, brief or presented in a condensed form
    2. performed speedily and without formal ceremony
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:37 No.6164561
    >>6164551

    In other words, an on-the-spot execution?
    >> Sergeant Alexandros II 10/06/09(Tue)22:40 No.6164583
    Who cares about the execution, go to the dickings!
    >> PointMan !!sjoCtjmIoEU 10/06/09(Tue)22:40 No.6164586
    More writefagging, less grammernaziing.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:40 No.6164588
    I believe that
    >>6164481
    referred to what was said earlier in
    >>6164322
    commenting on that a summary execution would do just as well as an arrow to draw the tsundere from our lovely spoiled princess
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:40 No.6164590
    >>6164561
    In other words, 'judgment' will consist of "Oh, hey, a drow. Kill her."
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:41 No.6164597
    >>6164441
    "I give you my bond, sir. Whatever she does from now, I accept the consequences."

    The elf's eyes narrowed, but he slowly nodded. "I think you know not what you commit yourself to. But we will honor your oath--and be sure, we hold you to it. Bring her. We will give you passage, but not before the Captain sees you."

    The paladin slowly straightened, holding the dagger against his forearm, unsure if this was good fortune. And yet, an odd thought came to him, and he replied, "ask her yourself, sir. I am not her slave, but I am not her captor. She goes with you by choice, or not at all."

    The elf had turned away; he stiffened, and froze. Alaric wondered if he had finally pushed too far. But when the ranger turned, his face an ice-cold mask of forced politeness, he only said, "Drow. If you want passage through these woods, you must speak with our captain first. Follow me."

    Her hand moved across the small of Alaric's back, as she stepped out from behind him. Her own words were stiff, and heavily accented, but she merely said, "Then I shall." And she fell in behind the elf, sweeping past Alaric as though nothing had happened.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:41 No.6164601
    >>6164561
    Pretty much.

    Elf 1: You're a drow & you've done bad things
    Drow: *Something crude & undoubtedly insulting*
    Elf 2: We'll take that as your plea
    Elf 3: Guilty. Sentenced to execution
    *Drow is executed*

    And it would happen in about the time it took to read this post.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:46 No.6164644
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    136 KB
    Sorry about the lack of Lawful Hawt Dickings, by the way.

    Have a drow on a leash instead.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 10/06/09(Tue)22:48 No.6164664
    Ah good stroy.. though if it were one of my paladins, he'd really have no problems with sleeping with her.

    Then again I play awesome paladins.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:50 No.6164685
    >>6164481

    Surface elf puts on a robe and commisar hat, and *BLAMS* the drow in question.
    >> PointMan !!sjoCtjmIoEU 10/06/09(Tue)22:51 No.6164698
    Keep going good writer. /tg/ needs more quality content and less bitching.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 10/06/09(Tue)22:54 No.6164719
    >>6159114
    I just have to say this is one of the cutest pictures I have seen in a while.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:55 No.6164725
    >>6164597

    moar plawks
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:56 No.6164739
    >>6164719

    Oh you like it? Well I guess it is not heretical.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:56 No.6164740
    >>6164273
    Been a while since I laughed like this.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:57 No.6164744
    >>6164597
    This has been quite good so far. Please countinue.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:57 No.6164751
    >>6164664
    Ditto.

    If you do it right the quickest way to a drow woman's heart is her vagina.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:59 No.6164763
    >>6159114

    BIGBY IS THE PERFECT TEACHER

    HE HAS SUCH A POWERFUL GRASP OF THINGS
    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 10/06/09(Tue)22:59 No.6164765
    now this sounds awfully familiar to a character i've played
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)22:59 No.6164769
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    Continue, dear writer; you're livening up my otherwise dreary night.

    Though it isn't much, please accept this small .gif token of appreciation.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:01 No.6164788
    >>6164769

    that is win
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:06 No.6164837
    Use red ink! Write FASTAAAAAAAAAAA
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:06 No.6164844
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    45 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:08 No.6164856
    I would have to wonder about the paladin's long term plans though. I mean, if the paladin is a human and an adventurer I can't imagine his days will be long. If the drow is the equivalent of a young teenager she is still going to be pretty damn young when he croaks in the best of circumstances. So where does that leave her? Will she go back to the Underdark instead of being shunned by the surface and fall into old habits? Once her protector is dead will she become an outcast, unable to fit in on or bellow the surface? She had HUNDREDS of years left after he is gone, if he is going to make her his responsibility and take her to the surface he needs to have some damn good long term plans. Giving her a few decades at best of a good life in exchange for a few hundred of misery isn't very noble.

    This isn't even considering how to plan for and deal with half-drow kids....
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:09 No.6164873
    >>6164493
    Can you telefrag something with a summoning spell?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:11 No.6164889
    >>6164856
    Long-term plan, hook her up with his church, given the situation I'm sure he can convince his church to take care of her if he croaks before she can take care of himself. She doesn't necessarily need to convert for this to be feasible either, as long as she doesn't keep a shrine to Lolth in the church they would probably be willing to keep her fed until she was able to take care of herself.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 10/06/09(Tue)23:11 No.6164892
    >>6164856
    Well if he does his job right, she'll pick up where he left of, to make the world a better place.

    Any children they have she would have raised with the love and care of any devoted mother. She'd be strong and honor his memory with each act of kindness and each act of courage in the face of danger.

    She would become a champion of Justice.

    But thats baring that Alrec or whatever is an incredibly badass paladin.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:12 No.6164898
    >>6164856
    You fool! The paladin gains immortality somehow and spreads the word of Torm for ALL ETERNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:19 No.6164978
    >>6164898
    Or he some alchemist hooks him up with some longevity potions. Not unreasonable really.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:19 No.6164981
    >>6159114
    d'awwwww
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:23 No.6165039
    >>6164889

    So she gets to stay inside a church for a few hundred years?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:25 No.6165058
    Halfbreed kids aren't too much of an issue since the mother is, of course, full drow. The trick is getting her to change genuinely enough that she'll continue on in his memory.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:28 No.6165098
    Well, I gotta go now. I hope someone's going to make sure this shit is archived if come tomorrow it has fallen off the face of the Earth?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:29 No.6165102
    >>6165039

    No, she stays within arms reach pf the church and tries to live on her own, if she fails the church serves as a safety net.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:31 No.6165135
    >>6165102

    Does D&D (or forgotten Realms I suppose) have a system of heroes/saints? She could become, like, the [equivalent of a saint] of exiled Drow if she was successful enough. Or something. I don't pretend to be well versed in D&D fluff, so I might just be blowing steam here, I don't know.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:32 No.6165141
    Does anyone have the two post story of his time when he was captured?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:32 No.6165145
    While we're on the subject of drow, did the Sandwich writefaggotry thread from last night get archived?
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:33 No.6165158
    >>6165145

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5954268/#5956538
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:35 No.6165186
    >>6165058

    That is part of the problem, if she is the drow equivalent of a young teenager he could very easily die while she is the equivalent of an older teen. It isn't hard to imagine someone with a bad childhood turning back to that path even after the equivalent of a few years with someone who really cares for them. Especially in a world where a lot of people would have a "kill on sight" rule regarding her.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:36 No.6165192
    >>6165135

    I remember a Saint template in a splatbook, but the base neither the base game or FR has a system like that. Though you can ascend to godhood under certain circumstances they aren't typically related to being particularly pious.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:36 No.6165202
    >>6165186

    Live near the Sword Coast and claim to be Drizzt's sister then.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:38 No.6165222
    >>6165192

    Saint is in Book of Exalted Deeds.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:42 No.6165271
         File1254886932.jpg-(117 KB, 490x753, Drow_Archer_by_UnseelieAllure.jpg)
    117 KB
    bumping with Drow to entice the writefag back.
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:43 No.6165281
    Agh! I need to go to bed! But I keep hoping against hope that it'll update again!
    >> Abaddon 10/06/09(Tue)23:43 No.6165282
    There is another book of events like this happening except replace paladin with barbarian, and drow rogue with female wizard/cleric who has a special magic trinket that would allow the entirety of the drow to rape the surface world now problem.

    called the daughter of the drow
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:43 No.6165285
    >>6165202
    Instant shitstorm of tsundre dude fanboys.
    "You again?"
    "Dont g-get the wrong idea, drow, we uh, we just want to meet your brother (yeah, thats it)"
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:49 No.6165372
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    107 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/06/09(Tue)23:56 No.6165464
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    512 KB
    bumping with Drow again in the hopes that the writefag will at least let us know if he's still there.



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