What would a college campus look like in a modern fantasy? Would there be any cliques? What kinds of people and cultures would intermingle with each-other? Would there be any classes on stuff like black magic, or dwarven demography?
>>61562988No. College campuses would be completely unrecognizable and utterly unlike what we know of today, because magic ?????? conclusively. Of course you fucking pillock.
You just wanted to post that picture.
>>61563027Then why do medieval fantasies resemble medieval societies?
Depends on the species with access to magic.Human campuses would be the Community College equivalents one to everyone, but the song to be made of stone because you will have people mucking up spells like Fireball and the like
>>61563248Let's say it's a low magic setting. People can do magic, but wizards aren't lower class gods.
>>61563323You’d probably gat something like the community college we have in my town. Two or three campuses dedicated to slightly different things, all probably focusing on making/educating about creating the regents for other spells.Entry level colleges probably look closer to farms/factories, since they’ll be expected to learn stuff that also helps keep the materials flowing. Higher level ones look fancier and probably have stuff trucked in from them.But they’ll all probably share the American style and focus on putting buildings away from each other to prevent collateral damage
>>61563547Why farms/factories? I mean I get they would probably need materials, but so do campuses that don't teach magic stuff. Sure you get a few garages where people learn mechanic stuff like auto-repair, but that's a garage, not a factory.
>>61562988What color are they?
>>61563633Mostly for regeants and the materials necessary to cast magic. The community colleges near me have farms on their campuses to test out seeds and new agriculture techniques. You’d have something similar in a fantasy one growing Mandragoras (is that the right word for those shrieking plants?) or forging catalysts for the students to use
>in b4 GATE
College hook-ups would be weird
>all the drow take women's studies>all orc/dwarf sports team>high elf clique hates wood elf clique>gnomes and dwarves at trade school/shop class>halfling stoners and music majors>humans are in every class/clique>human boys have a curfew because of the roaming band of orc females looking for "humies"drow females leave womens studies after seeing how great human men are
>>61564208You must live in an area with a big agriculture business, the colleges I've been to (virginia, Colorado, Scotland) have never had anything like that.
>>61564272That one is sweet. >>61564471I mean if you've paid for the class, you may as well stay and get the credits.
>>61564471>human guy sneaks into drowgirl dorm on a bet
>>61562988Depends what kind of modern fantasy it is. If it's the "typical" we see of the modern world is totally normal just orcs/elves/magic showed up one day, then you'd have the same kind of shit we see these days, just more alone racial lines.If you actually had the world evolve with that stuff in it for a longer period of time, there's a whole lot more questions to figure out.When it comes to teachings/classes, it also depends on how your magic works, how strong it is, and what determines if someone can actually learn it. D&D style magic would definitely not be taught in schools for instance, since it'd be like giving people who still don't know what the fuck they want to do in life access to nuclear launch codes. In the other case, WFRP magic might be taught in specialized schools because for that kind of magic you need to have a natural inborn connection to magic that whether you get trained or not is going to result in your being able to manipulate it, so its the incentive of society to see you get trained.
>>61564666>that artistAll the dickgirls.
>>61564163Literally speaking dark grey. Ethnically speaking, the are Dark. You want a fancy term, I'd use Ebony.
>>61564471>dwarves and goblins take over the business department>orcs join business department once they are convinced financial conquest is honorable>high elves take over physics>drow elves take over chemistry>wood elves take over agriculture>medical schools swarmed by fairies>killer drow parties>"nobody saw kevin for a month after that chick lylith threw a keg'r">"i heard lylith ans kevin are going steady">"why does she calling him flesh slave">"i cant go tonight guys. Gurka is having a big game and i cant let her down.">"dean niv'mizzet is fucking pissed. Some witch put a stink cloud cantrip in his chair.">"do you have the notes from dr garrosh's lecture on 'hostile takeovers'?"
>fucking faerie infestation in the library, again
>>61564714Were it me, I'd say this is a fantasy universe that got to a modern day societal and technological level (think like typical medieval fantasy, just fast forwarded a thousand years). So you have smart phones, cars, and internet, and most cultures have various fantasy analogues. As for magic, I think low-magic makes the most sense, anyone can use it, but not everyone will be good, and not everyone will bother, and what magic you get won't make you a minor god.
>>61564772It would be fine if they didn't eat the written word. Not ink, not scratches, not pencil, only WORDS.
>>61564770>all the 'wood elves' 'dark elves' thing is actually the younger generation of elves sorting themselves into a wide array of cliques that are a rejection of the previous generations strict social structures.
Morning train to class just got more intense
>>61562988>what would D&D/Warhammer 40k be like BUT IT WAS SCHOOL and they were all GIRLs xDA thread died for this
>>61564814exterminator is here
>>61564770>dark elf put on probation for dr saladin an n'wah>boiler room turned into goblin dorm at their request>warlock expelled for possession with intent to fel>guest speaker shubrayshregar from the void this friday in the thaumaturgy center>guys with knife ear fever everywhere>sylvanas blighted one for pestering her>orc girls protesting the male human curfew>janitor nosferatu is a pretty cool dude
>We really need to discuss your grades>If you don't do something for extra credit, I'm afraid I'll have to fail you
>>61564938>There's really only one reason to go to college. >To hook up with elf chicks.
>>61564814Someone let a bunch of pixies loose in the server room. It took me weeks to get them out of the RAID array, and by the time I did they'd eaten most of the staff email system.
>>61564666Can i take this dare multiple times
>>61564772I hate it when they pretend to be sentient and start squealing and begging for their life as you get ready to stamp on them. Nasty little things.
>>61564966>>61564978These are great.
>>61562988Assuming magic and races didn't just appear one day, the society had to reach this level.That means passing the 20th century analogue, which means world wars, and with magic and distinct species thrown in that's gonna be a lot bloodier.tl;dr: Elf holocaust means you can't have your dark elf waifus at human college.
No one loves half-dragons
>>61564938>all the succubi take religion and arts classes>dr gannon has pretty cool history classes>security has to keep going into the basement to kick out cultist kids after hours
>>61564951>What? No honey not like that. I'm a teacher, not one of those crazy girls on campus. Ethics rules. I meant a research paper. Now if you actually manage to get say... a B- in my class come back and see me after you graduate.
>>61565015Maybe not in European notPoland/notGermany or Japan
>>61565036I want to snuggle her.
>succubi foodie who feeds on the pleasure people feel from enjoying good food
>>61565015Jews survived the Holocaust. I mean, obviously not all of them a lot of people died, but I don't see why I couldn't find a cute dark-elf girl on a college campus.
>I forgot the summoners had their practical exams this week>fuck my insurance premiums are gonna skyrocket
>>61562988Unless the presence of these fantasy species affects the length of the commute, not much would change for me. Now, would you be allowed to major in Underdark Ecology or Comparative Sophont Anthropology? Orcish History or Alchemy?
>>61565098I'm imagining a girl like that working at the McDonalds at the Student Hub on my campus. That's probably not good. >>61565125>I HAVE A FUCKING EXAM AT 8! MOVE IT!!!
>>61563027And of course, you have no answer to >>61563246. Probably because you're just OP trying to be contentious to drum up interest. But if you do that, at least have the decency and energy to follow up.
>>61562988Magic and sciences, assuming they're relayed but still separate subjects would cause massive class swells.And potentially some interesting academic paths.>"Do I want to take quantum necromancy which uses uncertainty principles to raise the dead? Or do I take druidic construction management where I figure out how to naturally grow treehouses around plumbing and wiring for all-natural, sustainable housing? Maybe I should just study evocation and electrical engineering.">>61563547or this.>>61564190>elven grace and jump good skills allow them to overcome their height disadvantages in college basketball>But when they confront the next town's team of half-giants, they're gonna have to learn to put their prejudices aside and learn the most powerful skills of all: teamwork and friendship!
>>61565036>thrive in business and philosophy>all have sports scholarships>"but do the rules SPECIFICALLY say no flying?">"i get it but its still offensive to ask to touch my tail"Dude everybody loves half dragons.
>>61563246>Then why do medieval fantasies resemble medieval societies?Because medieval fantasies are made by nerds of average intelligence and designed as a vessel for roleplaying games, rather than an accurate modeling of the effects of physics-breaking magic on a society's development, you fucking pillock.
>>61565141>Imagine being the one elf in Orcish History and Studies
>It's pledge week again isn't >fucking magic students
>>61565164No. I don't even understand that line of thinking.
>>61565177>the one elf on the weightlifting competition>Elves can totally lift, I'll show you!
>tfw high elf>3.9 GPA, extracurriculars coming out of my ears>rejected at my top three schools, barely get in at my backup>meanwhile, orcs and tieflings are getting in to Harvard with 3.4sAffirmative action is just reverse racism.
>>61565175So why are you wasting time here, and not shitting up the medieval fantasy threads instead?
>Did you just say all orcs are meatheads who only get in on athletics scholarships>Hi, I'm your math tutor>Welcome to Hell, pinkskin
>>61562988>That one dwarf Social Justice Paladin who won't shut up about representation and height privilege in every fucking class fucking diggers I swear to god
>>61565036We used protection, I swear!
>>61564199>>61564263>>61564966>>61564978Are you suggesting a series about college age witches (studying) abroad?
>>61565177>Engineering is full of dwarves/gnomes>be only elf on the course
>>61565241or a road trip during summer break, with flashbacks to school, either one
>>61565204The High Elves had their great cultural founders a thousand and a half years ago. Without those educations, the orcs and tieflings will never produce individuals who will fill the same role for their people. Do you want them to languish in feeding on your scraps forever? Judging by what happened to the last orc who tried to build for his people a fresh start and their own culture, your parents certainly did.Every tradition, every legacy, every true culture has to begin somewhere, and it can't do that if you keep nipping it in the bud. Put up with this burden now and both your great-grandchildren and the orcs' will thank you.
college drugs scene would get weirder, with magic involved
>>61565262He's just angry, cause they put an orc on the cover of one of his videogames.
>>61562988we've had this thread like four or six months ago
>>61565283This is the single worst post I've ever seen on all of /tg/, worse than every frogpost copypasta and gun thread ever created. You are a waste of a poster and a human being.
You will never be comfycubus
>>61565226Is it really that much of a problem to make shelves the Dwarfs and Gnomes can reach, or doors the Half-Giants can fit through?
>>61565167>elven grace and jump good skills allow them to overcome their height disadvantages in college basketball>But when they confront the next town's team of half-giants, they're gonna have to learn to put their prejudices aside and learn the most powerful skills of all: teamwork and friendship!Fund it
>>61565226>Not being down with the Campaign for Equal HeightsThat's heightist!
>>61565326Hey I'm not a bigot, I have some dwarf friends and I'm dating a half-elf. That said, if it's such an issue they can move back to mountainistan
>hanging out with QT at a party>really into her, things are going smoothly, flirting and joking>ask her if she wants to go upstairs>she looks really uncomfortable>suddenly makes her excuses and leaves>weeks pass>see her on campus>confront her>turns out she's half-succubus>she was afraid I'd file a Title IX complaint against her>she effectively can't fuck anybody because they "aren't of sound mind around her" and she'd be taking advantageThis is total bullshit. There's no room for nuance any more. So what if I'm only attracted to her because of her psychic pheromones? How is that different from being attracted to someone because they have really great tits?
>>61565262I worked my ass off to get where I am and it pisses me off to see greenskins sailing into college without even trying. It's just biology: we have a +2 racial bonus to INT, and they don't. Until liberals can accept scientific truth, we're going to be stuck with a broken system.
>>61565326Yes?If it were just one of those groups, not so much. But add in both, and anything you do to accommodate one group, makes living for the other harder. Having low shelves for the short folk causes the big guys to have to bend over. Having large doorways for the tall folk makes the whole place feel intimidatingly large and uncomfortable for the smaller people.The best thing is to do things in a medium way. So those one or end or the other of the spectrum are lightly inconvenienced, but not too much so, and provide things to compensate. Ladders for the short folk for example.And no, we do not accommodate for aquatic species. It is unfortunate, but the cost to us is just too high.Thank you for your complaints. They will be reviewed at the next board meeting.
>>61565387Blame the self-appointed moral guardians. If the university authorities get complaints about it, the easiest thing for them to do is expel the succubi studentShits fucked, but if they don't then those assholes go in TV telling everyone that the reasons college students are into beer, drugs and casual sex is because of the succubi, and not because everyone is away from home for the first time in forever
Like, what do you humans even study?Dwarves/gnomes do engineeringOrcs are all on athletics scholarshipsWe elves dominate the humanities and sciencesDo you humans get degrees in like, burger-flipping or something?
>>61565432That's the entire way of thinking that started the cycle of spite in the first place. Nothing is going to change unless things as drastic as this are done. Would you rather they become bandits in the inner cities, picking at corpses forever? Where else are they to go, if they don't get the tools to make it in this society? We have other options, sure, but frankly, they're all worse in the long run. If us suffering in the short term prevents that, then so be it.
>>61565282The orc thing didn't even bother me, but putting gnomes in the new Battlefield is total bullshit. It's meant to be a historically accurate battle simulator. This PC bullshit just grates with the tone of the game.
>>61565387you ever see a succubi do her own projects?No, you haven't. They just force smart students to do it for them
>>61565478A bit of everything. Mostly the more mundane stuff you guys usually don't but a bit of everything.We also usually act as the first cross species intercourse enabler with literally all other races (They did a study, you should know this.) but I suppose "Banging elf bitches" isn't technically a course. Or orcs, hapflings and Giants either.
>>61565564Yeah but they actually put out for them and don't just bully them for grades.
>>61565279The "Good Ol' College Try" takes on a whole new dimension (literally in some cases)
>>61565387Fucking hell, this. I gotta deal with retarded legal shit every last two days in the month. Not a spot on my record and I still have to register with the police that I'm staying home during that time, (absolutely fun when exams arrive), because apparently it's "intimidating to wood elves" and "threatening to the student body's safety" to have a tail and coat for less than twenty-four hours all together.
>Oh c'mon, it's just a costume party>It'll be subversive commentary on the human-centric 'summoner' culture>I'll be the one in charge, and you'll be in the magic circle wearing just a collar and magic runes painted on
>Campus security!>PUT THE HALFLING DOWN
>>61565387Simple solution.Find out how long the pheromones take to wear off, then wait another few days and decide if you still want to bone her.Or go to the Alchemy or Botany students and see if they can whip something up for you to block them. And maybe a stamina booster while you're at it.
>this isn't my fault!
>>61565204what are your extracurricular studies and other activities or experiences? I know it sucks to think but a solid 3.9 GPA in most full colleges just isn't enough these days, remember, those colleges screen tens of thousands of people with a GPA like that.What they want are people who have had some real experience in their chosen majors, like a related career internship, studies abroad, community activism, that kind of things.Also, I HOPE you were polite, respectful, helpful, and friendly with your professors. They do call those for referrals.
>A girl going back to her room after spending the night getting dicked by fratbros is now commonly refereed to as the Elven walk
>Here's the magic they didn't teach you in school
I'm starting college this fall (majoring in golemetry), and it'll be the first time I've been away from home for more than a week. I'm the first person from our clan to go to college, so I'm pretty nervous.Is it true what they say about human guys?
>humans think they can learn magic
>>61566034More than you'd think, less than you'd hope.
>>61566010>Fuck off Weeb.
>>61565478History actually. Not really sure why.
>We'll study, right after we finish this round!
>>61565291and you're gay
>>61562988-IF- and it's a big if mind you, you can stomach the racial/sexual identity/fetish etc stuff, Tales of Mu has a bit of interesting 'fantasy world in modern times' thing. They figured out how to put magic through the scientific method, refined it enough to teach basically everyone, and went full "modern society but with magic instead of science" route. Highlights include Illusion magic used to create TV shows and Cartoons, Glamour magic courses for hairdressers and the like, a Greater Dragon being on the staff of the University, various races (Dwarves/Elves mostly) having all their own shiny cultural shit whilst all the weirdos and beast races shoved grudgingly into one hall, a weird fake army "Skirmish" game replacing college football. I mean hell, they even have a "Delving" department training old-fashioned dungeon-running groups. I mean it's basically "lets have modern society but make it fantasy lets shoehorn stuff in, with a load of sex stuff to keep people reading", but some of the ideas are halfway decent
>>61565036I think they do in the gaming room.
>Technowizards>Oh look at me, I'm so special, taking 2 majors!>Think I'm better than everyone at both>It's not even a real form of magic
>That one elven professor who hasn't changed his syllabus in the last hundred years but can't get fired because he's had tenure for the last thousand.Anyone have the answers to his tests? I hear they're still written in old elvish and that's an entire degree!
>catch elf stealing potion ingredients from lab>wat do?
>>61566217Check the internet, someone's probably uploaded the whole thing in Common just to spite him. It's not like he knows how to google shit anyway
>>61566034rule of thumb with us humans and of those rumors you hear about us, especially if you hear it from us: depends on the person.>>61565387a way around that is usually just to buy some charms or ask a divine magic majoring friend to give you some protection (not that kind, well, you might need that kind).They'll help you resist mind influencing effects like that and usually even if you can't outright shrug it off, you'll be aware you're under the influence. Which, in my experience can be even more horrifying when you start to consciously be aware of how out of character you're acting.You could also ask her to wear a glamor suppression amulet and it would help reduce the effectiveness of her charm, but a lot of them claim they're uncomfortable and a bit of a mood killer.But you wear protection and she does too? You'll both know what you really think.>>61566045I don't need to learn magic, my god already knows and tells me what I need.>>61565478I can't speak for other humans but I'm majoring in criminal justice and religious studies.I think it's pretty obvious what I am.>>61565554but recent historical evidence has found that gnomes, dwarves, and halflings fought in WWI.We just didn't know because the poor bastards tended to get buried alive in the trenches and we only recently found the bodies. yikes.
>>61565200>Go into Security and Combat specialist course>First day is in the school's gym>Walls lined with weapons, weights, and armor>Practice golems in the corner smoking until next lesson
>>61566217GET YOUR PAPER ON HIS DESK TO BE GRADED IMMEDIATELY! You may laugh at his lack of understanding about the modern world. You may cheat on his tests by downloading the correct runes from the internet (but if you are serious about learning old elven runes you should do the work yourself). You will not be amused when he grades your paper at his elven pace, typically three or so years after you turn it in. Make sure you turn your paper in early if his course is mandatory in your program!
>>61566277Force feed her love potions and aphrodisiacs.
>Oh course the ritual has to be done naked - the instructions say so!>Now take off your clothes
>non-mages just can't understand how hard it is for us mages
>"Let's sneak into the Professors office to steal a copy of the exam paper, what could go wrong?">Shut up and keep blasting them!
>You would not believe what happened to me on the way here
>Welcome new students, to Ancient Magics>You. Shall. Not. Pass!
>>61566366>mfw paladin undergrads still think religious studies are relevant in this age of secular magic>tips wizard's cap
>So. You're dating a ghoul groupie.>For fuck's sake, she's majoring in forensic necromancy.>Corpse fucking.>FORENSIC NECROMANCY! FORENSIC! There is nobody fucking anything deceased.>You heard they found a guy sleeping in the morgue?>One guy, and it was a practical fucking joke pulled on him when he got shitfaced. She's not like that.>Regretting why you're stuck with me?>Every bloody moment I'm reminded you exist. Always.>Ha. Warms the heart, not that I have one of those. Nobody hazes like applied demonology seniors.
Remember when techno-wizards wore aviator jackets?
>>61566086That couch looks really uncomfortable.
>>61566992We all do. And we're glad it's dead and gone.
>>61567007That's a wooden bench.
>>61563063In OP defense it is a good picture
>>61567002>WizardHe fucking won't shut up about Gaia and the power of nature, he's a god damned druid.
>>61567059That wooden bench looks very uncomfortable.
>>61564951I want to fuck Snadhya'runes
>>61567100I want to lick her ears all night long
>>61566538Sounds like someone is getting me too'd.
>>61567059I've seen benches like that. There not bad, though you may want to put some pillows or a blanket on it. Though not having any pants probably makes it worse.
>>61567142How preposterous! This is a Blue Runic Board! Keep it Safe For Majik!
>>61566105Sounds like my kind of trash.
>orc chads everywhere
>>61567072where does his constant talks about "getting to the next platform" come in as a class feature?>>61566868Hey, Professor!(don't let this guy intimidate you, he's real easy going)>>61566917I'm applying for a specific Paladin order, man, it's important to study religion for the purpose of arguing with converts.>>61566818Happened to six other students and four more who were on the train.Also, pretty sure that's Professor Hopkins' wyvern.>>61566918>>61566965>>61566975>>61566977>>61566992>>61567002What the hell is with full fledged mages and always wearing heavy coats, even in the summer! Just cast mage armor or something.
>>61567326it's just the style these days dude
>>61567310Where are the nerdy orc chicks at?
>>61567326I don't know about other people, but I wear the coat so I can keep material components and enchanted wands in the inside pockets.
>>61567326Honestly I find it more concerning about all the chicks who wear booty shorts in the middle of winter. That's not even a fantasy remark, I see those kinds of girls (and some men) who dress in pj shorts and flip-flops in middle of January).
>>61562988>Would there be any classes on stuff like black magicOnly at liberal arts schools.
>>61567453>And announcing our 2018 Miss Fantasy... URDETH FORESTCLEAVER!!!
>>61567499Would we have the local deity's church having people preaching on campus? Complaining about illicit sexual acts, and how our godless education is pushing youth away from white magic?
>>61564190>You will never shoot some hoops with a tall, cute tomboy dark elf>>61564377Do they ironically refer to their TTRPG as "humangames" and laugh about "THIN SLUTTY HUMAN EARS"?
>>61567564Round Ears=SlutsEveryone knows this.
>>61567598Why else are there so many Halfbreeds?
>>61567564In all fairness, humans will stick their dicks in just about everything. For example, I once went out with a goliath girl who was in my conjuration class.
>>61567683>goliath girlDon't make me say it
>>61567707there's magic for that sort of thing anon
>>61564731Who's the artist? It's not turning up any results.
>>61567731Did you go for the one that makes you bigger or her smaller?
>>61567707Yeah, it didn't last. Turns out mages are viewed as cowards and scum in goliath culture. No big deal, we're both adults and we split up on good terms. Met an aasimar girl, we're going steady now.
>>61567914>Aasimar You poor fool.
>>61567914Did you ask her if it hurt when she fell from heaven?
>>61567978Yes, actually. She'd heard it a thousand times of course, but it didn't hurt that I offered to help with her abjuration homework. Her family doesn't much care for me, though I will admit that it's partially my fault.
>>61563246Because no technological and societal advances. Because Harpers and gods.In any other situation we'd be dating dark elves and go to mermaid rock concerts. That and printing hexagramic summoning circles to summon nerdy succubi.>>61565221>Tell ya man, our math tutor is one hell of a sadist.>How is he?>He's a she. And an orc to boot.>For real? I thought they were only good at athletics and sports.>Me too. But my tutor? She mentally wasted us.>The hell happened there?>It started innocently at first. But as time went on, the exercises became more and more difficult. Trickier too I may add. While we had to use our calculators to make it easier for us, but still difficult, the tutor operated on a wholly different level.>What do you mean by this?>She was doing her own exercises. One of the students, a fellow technomancer in training, managed to secretly film what she was doing. And when he showed us after classes, then we all turned white. I never saw equations this complex. Just look.>[[SHOWS FILM]]>By the gods. My brain is already trying to crawl out just by looking at this.>Noticed something else?>What?>She's using an abacus. With insane speed.>Gods...at least she looks attractive.>Beauty and brains were never this scary for me bro. [[TAKES A SHOT]]>Think she's single?>Ain't going to ask her for a while. My brain still aches.
>>61568142Personally I just tell myself we just happen to be visiting that world in it's medieval era (unless it starts talking about it's millenia of history, though of course one can reason that is just the population assuming medieval stasis, which happened IRL).
>>61568142I wish I had a qt strict older girl math tutor Real talk: I haven't done math since high school and sucked at it back then. Never cared for it, but recently became infatuated with the concept of MUH ABSTRACT OBJECTIVITY. How do I into math again before invariably getting frustrated and realizing I'm not as intelligent as I think I am?
>>61568225God I hate medieval stasis done for the sake of keeping the status quo in check.>>61568328I used to love math, but when I went to high school, the teacher simply made me hate it. It got worse with every class.
>>61567326>What the hell is with full fledged mages and always wearing heavy coats, even in the summer! Just cast mage armor or something.Can't be one without a coat. It's in the class. It's like their soul. A mage without a hoodie or a coat is a mage without a soul.
>>61564983>Now let's see, there's..1,2,76, 198 of us and only one of you.>Hm.>New I bought that 12 day aphrodisiac for something!>Hm? Protection? Oh don't worry, the kids will get a good upbringing in the underdark.>Now lie down.
>>61569046>One girl expressing interest in me>Let alone 198Not even on a campus with elves and ogres
>>61569081Drow. Drow girls. Don't question it.
>>61569172but I have so many questions
>>61569190No dude those are their teenage little sisters watching a livestream of the orgy on their phones.Ask away.
>>61569213>Ask away.First question: why?
>>61569046>Bro, I heard that you're going to try the Drow Dorm Dare? Are you insane?>If you get caught, all 200 of them are going to want a go, and no offense, but you're probably going to get caught. You're not even a rogue.>No, dipshit, your body is not ready. You have like 7 Con.
>>61569081They aren't interested in you. They're interested in your semen.
>>61569239>You have like 7 ConI also have 1 Int. It's a calculated risk.
>>61569239>Yes but should he survive, that 7 will have become a 24. I say you should risk it.
>>61562988The collegiate system was founded around people who were trying to be wizards. What the fuck do you think?
>stands up>has anyone just considered asking the Drow for their panties?
>>61562988>Greasy hobgoblins playing grand strategy games and majoring in history but spend all class watching HEMA videos on magical YouTube
>>61569307>We don't want them Bryan fuck off.
>>61569307Of course not, Drow girls don't wear panties when they're in public.source: Was attacked by vagina-spiders when I was a freshman because I told a drow that I only dated wood elves.
>>61569307Sending a pledge into a Drow sorority on a panty raid is like sending him out to get headlight fluid.It's a Snipe Hunt.
>>61569307>Shut the FUCK UP BRYAN!
>>61569353>The real life equivalent of this is getting shanked by a black girl because you have yellow fever
>>61568031What did you do anon?
>>61564291Gate was a brilliant concept with a horrendous execution
>>61569376Don't be a sissy, the Drow only use the mildly poisonous one's for vagina spiders. You won't die unless you're literally sick already.
>>61569222Because you have a dick and because you got caught. Plus drow girls get off on robbing other drow girls of something that lots of drow girls want, so the more of them there are the more attractive they find you.
>>61569400But that's the problem, I'm pretty sick.
>>61569307Drow girls don't wear panties anon it's just a way to mess with pledgeswe have a deal with them, we send in pledges who they can tease all they want and in return we get to use their tunnels hidden all over the campus to sneak in stuff
>>61569429Then have fun dying from vagina spiders. We'll try not to laugh at your funeral.
>>61569400>You won't die unless you're literally sick already.Well yeah, but you won't die from getting shanked once unless it's in a vital organ.That's why when you are shanking someone, you have to stab multiple times. Shanks are shitty improvised knives, not masterwork daggers or some shit.
>>61569338Well fuck, I’m a greasy hobgoblin
>>61569484I've never heard of an angry black girl with a shank only stabbing somebody once, so I still rate dying of shanking more likely than vagina spiders.
>>61569385Well, like most aasimar, her family is fairly religious, so her parents take a dim view of non-divine magic to begin with. I was in their kitchen one day, explaining the basics of necromancy and its applications in other types of magic like warding and resurrection, and her father walked in as I was explaining exactly how the negative energy spread through the body and animated it. I admit that I should have known better than to bring it up in the house of a Pelor worshiping paladin, but I maintain that he overreacted when he tried to smite me. Long story short, I got stabbed, she freaked out, and I had to go to the hospital. Her father eventually calmed down, but I'm not going back to that house for a while.
>>61569484That's it. I'm sick of all this "shitty improvised knives" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Shanks deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine shank in prison for 2 packs of cigarettes and a porno mag (that's about $20) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut through steel bars with my shank.African-American smiths spend years working on a single shank and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.Shanks are thrice as sharp as bowie knives and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a combat knife can cut through, a shank can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a shank could easily bisect a modern Leclerc tank with a simple vertical slash.Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering America? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Crips and their shanks of destruction. Even in World War II, Japanese soldiers targeted the black men first because their killing power was feared and respected.So what am I saying? Shanks are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for shanks:(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)2d12 Damage19-20 x4 Crit+2 to hit and damageCounts as MasterworkNow that seems a lot more representative of the stabbing power of shanks in real life, don't you think?tl;dr = shanks need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
>>61569213>Lol L'y'lit's big sister's letting a human make her scream! What a loser!
>Goblins in self ironic shirts
>>61569686Isn't that shirt mocking the brutal murder of her ancestors?
>>61562988My college was on the smaller side, and even we didn't have cliques, that's a high school thing. Sure, people had friends of the same major, but that's because that's who you spent regular time with.The only real "cliques" are athletes (people bonding over shared activities) and theater kids (orgies)
>>61562988Imagine, if you will, a special interest group saying that mindflayers eating brains is part of their culture and the consequences of living in a 21st century society.
>>61569842yes, but she doesn't care cause that was before her grandma was even born
>>61569842they sold their own people into slavery and now are demanding reparations
>>61562988>the dude weed lmao people are studying druidic arts>they create super-pot and die of super-THC poisoning
>>61564814Now I need a comic where someone shoves a book at someone's face and it's got the "horizontal writing scribbles" on it>look at this shit, they ate my whole essay as soon as it got out of the printer
>>61569854>theater kids [orgies]I'm listening.>>61569895Well hell if her ancestors looked like her I'd have bought a couple dozen.
>>61562988GuRPS illuminati university thread or a continuation of teenagers from outer space...?
>>61565123It would bring up some questions about what Hillel is.
>>61567326>I'm applying for a specific Paladin order, manTake my advice, don't even mention if you haven't yet sworn your oath or worse, if you have sworn your oath. Either it's getting swarmed by missionaries of pacifism/nature/whatever it's starting a six hour long debate starring the whole paladin club because you said the oath of vengeance does more good than the oath of devotion.
>>61569925Theatre majors are generally the easiest people to sleep with, unless you're a straight woman."Theatre major orgy" is a college meme.
>>61565200>student govt makes a motion to start an elf-friendly gym initiative>organize elf-only gym time during peak hours>elves don't show up (any more than usual)>things go back to normal>motion passes to set up an elves-only exercise room>elves show up but don't use room
>>61569975Do the theatre majors and Drow sorority have competitive orgies still or did they ban those?
>>61570016Only at some colleges, though they can't do that scavenger hunt thing again
>>61570016They're banned all over my country after the drow brought their gear from home. Six people died and the zoo's never been the same.
>>61570014Now I'm imagining every elf just sitting in the gym taking pics like an instagram thot.
>>61570042Basically human women in every gym>Occupy the cardio devices, casually walking for 30+ minutes>Nobody lifting>Insta-thot shots>Meme calisthenics exericises (>going to the gym to do exerciseson a mat)Elves can't possibly be worse than that.
>>61570016Dude, dude, DUDE. TRUST ME. YES. THEY VERY MUCH DO.
>>61570042Welcome to every fucking monday.Get the fuck out of the squat rack knife ears.There's only 3 and you've only un-racked then reracked the bar in the last 30 minutes.Fuck.
>>61570042Most of them male.Or what passes as male for elves.
I'm going to share a secret with you guys about the Drow: between 4 am and 6 am every day, there's always one or two who'll leave their sorority. If you're interested in dating a Drow (yeah I know but hear me out), wait in the bushes, and follow one discretely once they leave. What you'll find is a Drow looking for something else then just the BHC or BOC. What that is I can't say because it's different for each. I spotted one during an early morning jog I was taking (yes I know it violated curfew but after 3 am the Orcs are all asleep), and I spotted one going to the old art building that's used to store broken brooms. I spied on her out of curiosity, turns out she wanted to be a seamstress and was practising in there. A few days later I did my usual jog and 'accidentally' bumped into her, started chatting her up. Didn't last long, but I did it again and again every morning for about a month before she finally opened up to me.That was 7 years ago back when we where both Freshmen. Now we're married and working as tailors. Pic related, my girl in one of her more creative creations.
>>61570042>At the gym putting in the work to make this booty werk! lol #Gymday! #Buttlikewhat #Youmirin? #;P
>>61570042>Be me>Next class isn't for another hour or so, but I don't feel like going to the library to work on my essay, so I'm just eating a sandwich in the gym because there's never anyone in here around this time.>Pair of elves show up in gym clothes and head towards the elves-only workout room>Look through the glass wall because they're qts>They each splash the other with water from their bottles and then start posing and taking pictures of each other posing on the exercise bikesFucking high elves, right?
>>61565200>arms inside legsNever gonna make it.
>>61569925>I'm listening.Ausfag here, not the guy you're responding to. We have a reputation (mostly well deserved) for being a promiscuous bunch over here, but even we know theaterbunnies fuck like crazy. No idea why.
>>61570181I've been in four threesomes [I was younger and stupider] and half of them involved Aussies and the one foursome I've been in had an Aussie guy so if theaterbunnies are more open promiscuous then I'm shook.
So, we know how Drow are and we know how theater bunnies are. So has anyone every met a Drow theater bunny? Is that like promiscuity^2 or do they produce some kind of double negative thing and they don't like to fuck?
>>61570272Unless you were pressured or had a bad time, never disparage yourself for enjoying and exploring your sexuality.>currently in two productions>pretty sure the director of one only cast me because he wants to sleep with me>the other is run by a lesbian couple whomalso play the most important roles, and they cast a guy simply because they knew we'd fucked a few times in the past and wanted real chemistry on stage.Shits weird.
>>61570311Imagine a succubus who just discovered the g-spot.
>>61570016Certainly not! Why, are you down?>>61570311I can make a call if you wanna find out?
>>61570311Mixed bag. You get some who are super intense on their acting and take if seriously, and others who are just there to slut around. No middle ground.Aussie Drow Theaterbunnies will suck your cock off.
>>61570352Literally if there is one on here DM me.
>>61570352>Aussie Drowthey get told to fuck off at the border too along with the kobolds, the goblins and the duergar.
You know what's the best part about being a human guy on campus? The fact that I can get as much 9/10 as I want because for whatever reason you mother fuckers, no matter what race, have no interest in human women, meaning there's something like 10 of them for every one of us who's actually interested.Have fun talking a big game about that 7/10 Elf girl you almost got that one time.
>>61570440Yeah well my major's in conjuration I can cast a booty call any time I feel like it.
>>61570440I heard about that, does it ever go as far as polygamy?>>61570447How are the results?
>>61570440Shut up man! That elf thot's insta was full of gym bunny pics! She should have been an easy lay!
>>61570325I hear a lot of them don't actually know where their real G-spot is and just rely on their powers. >>61570330Just curious man on both counts. I tried an orgy once, didn't go well and it turned me off of them. Don't think I'd do well in the middle of drow and theaterbunnies. As for the offer, I can probably just find one myself. >>61570352Figures. Literally or figuratively on the Aussie one though? Some of those Drow girls are weird.>>61570440Hey man, I'm an equal opportunity guy. Hot elf, hot human, hot orc (under controlled conditions of course) all are fair game.
>>61570464>How are the results?Interesting learning experience so far. One, befriending a cleric is a good idea, two, don't call up anything with fangs, three, when they say "suck everything out" they really mean everything.
>>61570464>does it ever go as far as polygamy?Sorry to say that no, you might find girls willing to do a one off threesome, but that's about it. Also if you're in it for a serious relationship rather then pump and dumps, find a girl by Junior year, in Senior everyone ends up coupling off (and it's kind of amazing to see how people suddenly get over the attraction to other races all at once, almost no one who mixes ends up marrying outside the race)>>61570495You'll never bang her anon, get over it>>61570500You'll be banging a lot of humans with that attitude. Unless it's all about the chase for you, in which case you'll be getting none at all.
>>61570500Oh come on~ don't be shy. Also don't call me man.Fine.
>>61570500>Literally or figuratively on the Aussie one though? Some of those Drow girls are weird.According to uni legend, both. But the dude was a clay golem, so I don't think it really counts.>>61570464>I heard about that, does it ever go as far as polygamyThere's a weird cross over between polyamory, swingers and pagan cults.
Um guys? What does "bleached" mean and why do all the goblin girls in my class wear clothing with it written on it somewhere?Hell some of them have it as a tramp stamp...
>>61570529Nah I actually like the banging part so I'll probably see a good number of human girls around. >>61570567I didn't need to see my aunt like that ok? I didn't even know she was in town. I might try one just for shits and giggles if I'm single again.I'm sure there's plenty of guys who you could grab honey, not just me.>>61570606That's... well I can actually believe it if he was a clay golem.
>>61570634It means they crave the human cock and want half-goblin children.
>>61570634It means if you ever ask a group of them to come white-wash a fence with you, you're gonna have a great time.
>>61570647Wait WHAT?>>61570665White wash a fence? What's that mean?
>>61570646Bring the girlfriend! The more the merrier!True, but you've said no. That's a challenge.
>>61570678"bleached" refers to human cock for the darker skinned races (don't know why, we're no brighter then elves), and goblins, well they won't admit it until after it's all said and done, but they want babies, lots and lots of babies (high attrition rate and all that)
>>61570710Wait, so if a girl says she's been bleached...
>>61570729Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking.
>>61570729Ask a drow.
>>61570758Well? Any drow care to comment?
>>61570741YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING.
>>61570693My current girlfriend is a high elf, I'm not spoiling this.I'm going to keep being a challenge, so you're in for the long haul if you want me.
>>61570678>White wash a fence? What's that mean>he's never white washed a gobbo fence after she got all sweaty running to catch the train.
>>61570855PFFT one of those stuck up prudes? You can do better hun. Want me to call my cousins to give you a taste test? They're twiiiiins~You bastard. I like you.
>>61570710>Tfw you realize you're the only guy in a class full of goblin girls.
>>61569948noted, thanks.Already have a stoner friend trying to bring me over to Order of Ancients.>>61568459My grandpa just to say it was all in the hat.>>61569686>>61569842>>61569895It gets more awkward when they use it to flirt.>"Oh, you're a paladin in training, why don't you use 'detect fertility' on me and smite me with that greatsword of yours"She said when I clearly use a halberd anyway.I still slept with herDivine protection. not getting child support checks out of me!
Of the classic fantasy peoples, which would be most likely to pursue History, Archaeology, or even Paleontology majors?
>>61571050Dwarves, elves, draconic races, probably.Dwarves and elves because deep histories are important to their people, in the case of elves they might also see it as an easy a. For draconics it's probably for a chance to find shinies of massive value.
>>61570791Dude, like half of us know what you're thinking, you have mental holes large enough to drive a semi through. That's exactly why you don't skip on Mentalistics 101 halfway through.
>>61571034>My grandpa just to say it was all in the hat.The hat is more something you wear to formal events, annual rituals, and fancy dress parties. A coat has inside pockets that you can use to store material components and wands in. They're more practical.
>>61570955They're only prudes on the street. She's nearly insatiable once I get her in bed. Thanks for the offer of twins though as I said before, probably would be a while.I do aim to please~ You seem pretty determined yourself, so we'll see how much bastardy you can take if things ever go that way.
>>61570500>I hear a lot of them don't actually know where their real G-spot is and just rely on their powers.Unfortunately true. Trying to find it for them isn't easy either.
>>61571137Pfft, drow do it better honey. Better hurry, they'll only be 16 once...Oh? How much I can take? That turn of phrase raises some questions...
>>61571034>Already have a stoner friend trying to bring me over to Order of Ancients.you can tell that stoner friend Conquest is going to come calling if he doesn't shut up about trees
>>61570932>>61570678To translate:>He has never ejaculated over a Goblins mouth/teeth after she got all sweaty begging for and then receiving a gangbang.
>>61570115That's not a drow you dumb shit, that's a wood elf with bleached hair
spoiler tagging erpists please fuck off
>>61571271There's basically no difference between different kinds of elves anyway.
How are there still incels when goblins exist? I was a virgin before I started college, but literally the minute I entered the co-ed dorm on my first day I had 2 goblin chicks clinging to each leg asking me to "come see their room". I'm not even in the Bard program, I'm majoring in Gunslinging.
>>61571271It's the angle and her makeup, I can assure you she's a Drow
>>61571297Some dudes make goblins look hot.
>>61571297Which one did you go with? Also how short did they have to be to cling to your leg??
>>61571249Maybe if I get her drunk she'd be interested. Still not cheating on her even if that sounds like something I'd really enjoy.Everything is an innuendo with you girls. Though if you're so interested, there's some giant up my family tree and it went to all the right places.
>>61571297I know, right? I'm majoring in transmutation, and I get swarmed by goblins at least twice a week. Shit's crazy man.
>>61571297Easy, goblins have standards. They seem low but they only go with guys they want to have the kids of.
>>61571319I'm 6'3", and what kind of legs do you have that aren't connected to your feet?And who says I had to choose one?
>>61571378>feetNice job outing yourself human I have cloven hooves that leave ash-prints and sulphur everywhere I go.
>>61570606>There's a weird cross over between polyamory, swingers and pagan cultsLegit. And they all get shitty if you get confused by which is which.
>>61571405>Only humans have feetNice job outing yourself as a NEET demon who hasn't been outside of the underworld for more than 5 minutes you dork.>>61571409That's between me and the ladies my guy. Or should I say that's me between the ladies?
>>61571436>Nice job outing yourself as a NEET demon who hasn't been outside of the underworld for more than 5 minutes you dork.Hey I'll have you know I left my pit of torment two months ago jackass.
>>61571422Fuck the swinging scene, man. I used to be in that neck of the woods until the fucking gobbo community learned about it.And hey - more power to them and gobbo lovers, but they just take up so much fucking space at the venue and make it hard for guys like me who are just looking for some dwarf tail. Fuckers should either stick to their own venue or only be allowed on theme nights.
>>61571455For how long?
>>61571455Demons being eternally assblasted after the last Dark Invasion was repelled by some human geezer with a stick and a mean look will never not make me smile.>>61571469Not all at once, of course. Just 2 at a time. I'm not a Bard, remember.
>>61564377Man, the author really missed their mark by not making the handbook something recognizable and mundane from our world. Like the Encyclopedia Britannica or something.
>>61571517Did you stay in touch afterwards?
>>61571539We were in the same dorm, so it was kind of impossible not to. I moved out into a house with some other Fighter program guys and got a qt Oni gf, but I still have a couple of them over every once in a while.
>>61571475A whole hour! I even got ice cream. >>61571517>Demons being eternally assblasted after the last Dark Invasion was repelled by some human geezer with a stick and a mean look will never not make me smile.To tell the truth I swallowed a couple grams of silver to dodge the draft and just shitpost about it online all day.
>>61571508Jumping out, holding on to me, trying to drag me back to their dorm so I can "give my opinion on the wallpaper", things like that. Sometimes it's six, sometimes it's a dozen. I'm reasonably certain that some of them follow me.
>>61571579So you've got them coming and going at your call huh? Kickass! Wait, how does the oni gf feel about a couple of goblin thots getting bleached by her boyfriend on the regular?
>>61571585>A whole hour! I even got ice cream. That's honestly kind of impressive. I thought demons were all a bunch of incurable shut-ins.
Somebody archive this on suptg. I would, but I'm posting on my phone.
>>61571585That's probably for the best. I was talking shit but my campus is named after that human so it had to have been a fucking slaughter.>>61571609I wouldn't say it like that, it's more like hanging out with friends and doing a fun activity together, like getting drunk or playing vidya. Goblin culture is weird. My gf agrees, but only with goblins. If it were a human or another oni or something she'd flip her shit and snap me in half.
>>61571690So you don't bang em anymore? Also what's the gf like besides apparently being awesome?
>>61571711Oh, we do, it's just not like... Serious. I think my gf might be kind of a racist because she doesn't treat my fucking of the goblins as cheating with another person.Other than that, she's super chill. Totally supportive of my studies, helps me out in the gym, and we like to cook together. She's a mechanic at a nearby autoshop. Not much else to tell, really.
>>61565036I like half dragons
>>61571753Okay I think I know what's happened. Do they ever sit around you on the floor, often with an arm or two wrapped around your leg? Do they do what your gf says? Do they call you boss, sir or anything like that in or out of bed? Also do they mention their female relatives a lot and mention what the various cliques are doing?
>>61571820Oh shit, I see what you're driving at. Fuck me, she's their chieftain now isn't she?
>>61571334 Then get her drunk already!...You realize I'm gonna have to break you and your girlfriend up now yes?
>>61571855No. Dude. You are. She's the chief's wife.
>>61571855Most likely. On the plus side, you have a girlfriend who is not only okay with you having a harem, she's the one who got it for you! On the negative side, if you ever piss her off, she now has a tribe of goblins that she can order to rip you to shreds.
>>61571893...What. There's no way dude. I mean, I'm not exactly a wizard, but there's no way I wouldn't catch on if I suddenly had a bunch of goblin minions.>>61571899This makes more sense. She's always been the more assertive one, and now that I think about it it couldn't be a coincidence that a couple of them recently got jobs at the autoshop too. What am I supposed to do with this? We were planning on moving up North for my job when I'm finished school, but the plan didn't include a tribe of goblins.
Orc sex ed teacher wat do
>>61571977Bite the pillow.
>>61571977Wear a back brace to class.
>>61571957Dude. That's how it works. That's why they're so obedient to her, she gets the say in who has your babies. Look, do you want some advice in how to be a good chief?
>>61571957Goblins are easy to account for. They don't take up a whole lot of space and can be taught pretty much anything if you repeat it enough. The most expensive thing is food, goblins are voracious little fuckers.
>>61571977Pre-lube yourself. You never know when he'll decide he needs your help for a "demonstration".
>>61572004>>61572005I'm moving to NORTHERN CANADA to be a monster hunter. Food will 100% be an issue, as will accommodations and everything else. Not only will it be incredibly hard to find any of that shit, but everything costs about 10x more because it has to be flown in. How on earth am I supposed to support something like a tribe in that environment?
>>61572048No, this is good for you. Yetis, mammoths, polar bears and frost dragons are full of meat, ice naturally preserves it. Just hunt good.
>>61571879Working on it. She's got some competitiveness with you guys so I've got a good shot.You can certainly try. It took weeks for her to take it all. Better call up your cousins first though if the're going to get in on it.
>>61572088I... I mean you're not wrong, but this is stressing me the fuck out. I'm going to need to talk to my girlfriend about this. She must be assuming I already knew, because she would have definitely said something by now. I just wanted to live in a comfy cabin in the woods sipping hot chocolate and hunting wendigos and skinwalkers, not start a clan of goblins. I'm not even 30 yet. I can see no upsides to this.
>>61562988i would play it
>>61572131Well for one thing, having a tribe of goblins makes it easier to hunt said wendigos and skinwalkers. Strength in numbers and all that.
>>61572194I'm going to be hunting these things specifically so that they don't kill anybody. Hell, I'm majoring in Gunslinging so I don't have to be anywhere near them because they'll fuck my day up faster than a gnomish racecar. I don't even want to imagine what they'd do to a goblin, let alone one that's my responsibility.
>>61572131>hunting wendigos and skinwalkers, You racist pig!
>>61572236Give the goblins all shotguns. Volume of fire can be more useful than accurate fire.
>>61572245Go fuck yourself, you man-eating rothead. I'm gonna get paid by the Canadian government PER HEAD and if you want to come do something about it, I'm sure they'll pay me for yours too.>>61572254That could work I guess. I mean, I'd have to come up with the money to actually buy the shotguns, but if I'm being honest I'd rather be the one doing the hunting. It's not just about not wanting anyone else to get hurt, it's simply easier to hunt unnoticed when you're alone.
>>61572236Okay listen. Listen. Your simplest solution? First. Next time your goblins (they're your goblins get used to hearing this.) mention a female goblin to you or to each other in front of them say "she's the one with the fat ass/big tits/dick sucking lips right?" If they EAGERLY say yes and make a hundred jokes about you getting around and being a horndog say "I want her, bring her with you next time." You follow me so far?
>>61572048>Food will 100% be an issue, as will accommodations and everything else. Not only will it be incredibly hard to find any of that shit, but everything costs about 10x more because it has to be flown in.Not really. Oni and Goblins tend to be more on the carnivore side rather than balanced omnivores. Northern Canada is where most of the NA dire game herds are. Might cut into your early profits as an independent MH but you will have a much stronger base than those who try going solo.Depending on your girl's majors they might already be planning most of the stuff needed to get a comfy homestead set up.>>6157223663% of solo hunters die or are seriously injured in their first year with 74% of the remaining 37% have career ends in their second. Less than 10% make it to year 3.60% of hunters that start with a tribe make it at least 10 years.
>>61572399...Fuck me, you know what you're talking about don't you? They really try to avoid letting people know the stats in NA, but I've had an idea for a while. Didn't know it was that bad though. That's pretty sobering. I'll be giving that some thought.>>61572353It doesn't hurt that I'd be all alone with a literal harem of eager DTF goblins and my thicc Oni gf for months on end.
>>61572453EXACTLY. NOW. Once they bring the new girl/s over, fuck their living daylights out. Completely pulverize them in the sack. You fuck an oni you know what I'm talking about. Then tell them they can come back next time. Once you've got 20 at minimum, the next stage begins.
>>61569270and boy are you bad at math
>>61572499I'll humour you, what's the next stage?
>>61572298>Canadian government PER HEAD and if you want to come do something about it, I'm sure they'll pay me for yours too.Fucking right wing nutjobs! That's traditional wendigo land! They signed onto the accords like everybody else, you can't act shocked when you march onto their land and they react accordingly!You fuckers are gonna get sued by the Council.
>>61572514I'm not him, here's a bit of diabolical advice. Mortals don't hunt you down if you don't eat them. Or at least, don't break any of their laws. Pays to study them too.
>>61572514>cannibalistic spirit monsters>signing the accordsthe only nutjob here is you pal.
>>61572514Last year alone wendigos were responsible for 41% of monster attacks in Canada. That is FORTY ONE FUCKING PERCENT. You know just as well as I do that is completely disproportionate. This is being done out of pure fucking malice for "breaking" accords you signed with the French when they didn't even own the goddamned land. That land belongs to the Canadians, and I'm going to do my damnedest to ensure they get to live on it without being slaughtered wholesale by a bunch of anorexic retards.
>>61572511You buy them collars. They love that shit. Then, you fuck one HARD until her eyes roll back and you film it, then post it online with an especially lewd, racially charged title like "tiny green bitch gets bleached by big white chiefmaker" for starters. Considering the sheer quantity of gobbo women into that shit you'll make at least a thousand dollars. Then you do it again, and again, then you stsrt putting the good stuff, the 5+ girl orgies behind a paywall.Then your harem makes you rich.
The fucking thirsty plebs in this thread>Drow promiscuity is a racist stereotype, half those Drow "babes" are dudes and they generally hate everyone who isn't Drow>You fantasy human nerds aren't going to have any higher chance of getting laid if you go to a metahuman college, turns out Goblin chicks think you're as undateable as the human ones do>Everyone knows the curfew applies to all races, not just humans, and was put in place because the Great Dragon Anaphlaxis usually hunts during those hours.
>>61572612That went in a direction I wasn't expecting. I'm not too sure that plan holds up considering I'll likely be without an internet connection 90% of the time, though.
>>61572636Film in advance my dude, film in advance and have some of your girls set up shop in your tribe's camp to release them at a schedule you set. Have a "dollar for a daily" setup where you take a couple mid-sex photos and you'll make several thousand dollars a day. That'll more than pay for your tribe's upkeep and pad out your bank account.
>>61572116Work. Faster.Consider them called. All of them.
>>61572677I'm absolutely disgusted by the fact I am considering this. You just want to see me stuff a bunch of gobbos, don't you?
>>61572634>half those Drow "babes" are dudesOh, so that's why the two qts I took home last night insisted on doing anal only.Shit, I feel like a faggot now.I mean, they gave head better than a spade-tailed succubus, but now it all feels kinda gay.
>>61572709Gobbo girls do. Why do you think goblin girl bleached videos never fail to break the 500,000 view mark?
>>61572710oh it's really gay, but you said it yourself, they are good. might as well accept it now and enjoy it later.
>>61572752Sooooo? Whadya say?~
>>61572789I'll think about it. If money gets tight it's an option. Also, I am fairly certain you're either a gobbo yourself or have a thing for them.
>>61572813Well ya gotta support your tribe somehow chief!What gave me away boss?
>>61572514The Wendigo and Skinwalker 'tribes' did sign the accords, but they then broke the accords on several occasions when they continued to attack both indigenous and colonial settlements. The Sasquatch tribes were the ones that petitioned for the Wendigos to be stricken from the accords and UN list of mortal races and had them re-classed as cursed races alongside vampires and werewolves.
>>61572710Remember the cardinal rule.It isn't gay until the balls touch.
>>61572857The insistence. Only goblins would advocate for sex with goblins so aggressively.>>61572863Sasquatch are good people. Mostly quiet, simple folk that don't want trouble. Part of the reason I'm going up North is to help them out too.
>>61572612Interesting, so Goblins as a race have a predisposition to domination and a bit of degradation.Maybe he can make their collars out of Wendigo leather and write a How To book about Gobbos.
>>61572705Alright, she's up for it now. Says none of you will last but she's drunk.How many cousins do you have exactly? There's a lot of me but... ah fuck it. That's what potions are for.
>>61572906Ya got me there chief. So. What now?
>>61573004Now, I'm probably going to go down to the range to practice for my practical exam that's on Monday. I have no time for goblin shenanigans. Plenty of time for that AFTER I get my degree. And on weekends.
>>61572930Meet us in the theater building.Oh you'll see.
>>61573060>And on weekends.And holidays.And short class days.And the occasional mornings when you're too hungover to roll out of bed.
>>61573069Alright, we're coming. If there's more of you than there are hours in a day I reserve the right to turn around and walk out.
>>61573081And in the car on the way to class. And under the desk in the middle of a lecture because I sit in the back corner.Yeah, I guess I have more time for shenanigans than I thought. Just not until after the exam.
>>61573060POUTING.>>61573081Oh wow.>>61573153Oh HELL YES. Is that a promise boss??
>>61573081And when boss is sleeping so that he doesn't have to deal with morning woodAnd when boss is in a bad mood to cheer him upAnd when boss and boss lady have had a fight and he needs comfortingAnd when boss lady is menu...menstra... bleeding and can't have sex with bossAnd when boss gets an awkward boner because his lunch was accidentally dosed with goblin lust potionsAnd when we trick boss into asking us to prepare him a traditional Chieftain's Feast
>>61573123Well that was a close one. Only 23 could make it in time. Also my Auntie is here so don't be nice ok?
Shit taxes are coming up aren't they, anyone know if familiars or contracted summons count as dependants for rebates?
>>61573230>usGoblin girl detected.
>>61573224>>61573230You're joking, right? Because some of these sound really familiar, and I am not happy about that.>>61573242Familiars do, summons don't. Basically, if it is intelligent and depends on you for basic needs it's a dependent.
>>61573268Why unhappy boss?
>>61573230What's a traditional Chieftains feast?
>>61573240If there's that many of you I'm not going to have time to be nice. Especially to your aunt. Five minutes out.
>>61573242Summons used to, if they had been summoned for more than six months in total out of the previous tax year, but then some shitheel CEO of a magitek company installed a bunch of appliances and furniture into his mcmansion that used persistently summoned elementals who were hooked into the leyline for power, and claimed a couple hundred "dependents" on his tax return, and that was patched out of the tax code in a hurry after the news stories about the "Zero tax millionaire" hit the news cycle.
>>61573242Depends on the familiar/companion classification. Type 1 are not as they are seen as pets. Type 2 usually get helper animal and work related deductions while Type 3 can be classed as full dependents.>>61573268>Familiars do, summons don't. Basically, if it is intelligent and depends on you for basic needs it's a dependent.Long term Contract Summons are different than short term summons. Contract Summons with a physical manifestations follow standard companion classifications.
>>61573311I'm pretty sure being deceived into having sex with someone is sexual assault or something.>>61573354Ah, alright then. I ain't a wizard or whatever, I just vaguely remember my uncle saying something like that.
>>61573335Good. Start with your girlfriend, get that weakshit warm up out of the way. Then me, then my aunt. Deal? Alright good 5 minutes is enough we just have to finish getting the outfits ready. Knock before you come in.
>>61573230And don't forget those days up north when the snowfall is extra heavy and it blocks the door.The Oni GF might be able to deal with that, but talk to her and she might play along.
>>61573373Where's the deception boss? We'll be Perfectly honest about our intentions~
>>61573401True! Cold outside, nowhere to go, just boss alone with us and boss lady...Dibs.
>>61573401>>61573405>>61573417Ya'll need to stop being so interested in my sex life, it can't be healthy to be so invested.
>>61573440Shhh. Let it happen.
>>61573390She's barely walking right now. I don't think she's up for it. Knocking now... Oh fuck. God spare my hips.
>>61571587What do you do about it?
>>61571034How was she?
>>61570665OK. UM. I ASKED THREE OF THEM. AND THE WHOLE CLASS ASKED TO COME TOO. THERE'S 37 OF THEM. WHAT DO I DO??
>>61573540Hydrate yourself and load up on carbs. You'll need it.
>>61570058Don't forget>it's not a glute-targeting machine but she's made it one
>>61572863>cursed races like vampires and werewolvesBigotry at its finest. Comparing two transmitable diseases to fucking savages like Skinwalkers. You're thinking of Nosferatu and Loup-Garou>in b4 wuts the differenceFucking idiots. Nos/Lou are the born race, Vamps/Weres are those infected. There's at least a chance to help the infected.>>61573540Fucking blind cucks.Is no-one here wondering why our school system is flooded by literally tens of thousands of greenskins?Enjoy sucking the cock of your gobbo overlords in the next few generations you dumb fucks.Bet you guys never even read about the Goblin Hulk invasions of Lower Hutt, huh?
>>61573493Forget her then, come on in and come to the stage. We're waiting human...
I wish I could've gotten laid in college
>>61573710Sex isn't important anon. Don't judge your happiness by its presence or absense.
>>61573638Here I am Drow. Hope you all enjoy yourselves, I know I will.
>>61573733Depends on the person.Become aware of how you define your own happiness, then enjoy the pursuit of it.
>>61573775Sex won't always be a thing you can get so don't base your happiness on something so fleeting.
>>61573323I believe I can answer this question. Ancient Goblin rituals are a fascinating are to study, I recommend taking Professor Hurgott's class if you need a few credit hours to fill in your major.The short of it, as it relates to the modern practise, is that before goblin tribes were modernized in the early 1500s, goblin tribes would frequently kidnap civilians of other races from rural towns and villages during raids for use in breeding, owing to the odd tendency for goblins of both sexes to exhibit higher fertility when breeding with other races, as well as the high mortality rate of goblin rituals meant to weed out those who were weak or suffered from some disease or deformity. In order to show submission to the chieftain of a tribe, after each successful raid, the tribe members would follow a trio of Fluid Ceremonies, Blood, Spittle, and Semen.In Blood, all members of the tribe would present themselves in a pseudo formation with their heads held high, exposing their necks. Contrary to modern connotations, this shows submission, as the chief could then slit the neck of any warrior who had displeased him/her. The chieftain would then execute any who fled or showed cowardice, and trace a line with their claw down the center of a favored warrior's forehead. This was also used as a tool for the chieftain to claim a new spouse, or to promote an existing one to a more favored status. In modern times, it takes the form where in the formation, which is entirely in the nude, touching a goblin's throat indicates that they will not breed that night and instead they are to watch in silence instead, and touching the forehead indicates that goblin is now the "official wife" until otherwise noted. No touch means that they participate as normal in the following ceremonies.
>>61573807Happiness is fleeting. There is no wrong path to it.
>>61573769There goes a hero.
>>61573323>>61573811In Spittle, food from the area raided would be brought to the chief, and s/he'd pass judgement on what each goblin brought him. This followed a very simplistic metric, if the chief swallowed the food, it was good, if they spat it out, it was bad. In this way, even goblins who were poor warriors could gain status in the tribe by having a good eye for loot. The modern version is somehow even more simplistic. The "chieftain" kisses every goblin deeply at least once, although each girl is encouraged to attempt to receive even more, and every goblin does their best to swallow as much of the chieftain's saliva as they possibly can.In Semen, it's essentially just raping the newly captured. The chieftain picked his/her favorite victims, and then raped each one in succession. To the victor goes the spoils in its most literal form. The modern form, quite appropriately, is just a massive and enthusiastic orgy with the entire harem. All girls who were not barred from the event are expected to be doing something to please the chieftain at all times, so with larger "tribes", the "chieftain" may have some troubles with more than a dozen or two girls attempting to pleasure him in some way, most of them crowding his genitals in hopes of at least getting to lick or suck on some part of the penis. All of the girls attempt to be inseminated by the chieftain, regardless of whether or not this is physically possible, and may brink alchemical aides to support the chief's erection if they believe that he won't be able to last long enough to reach them. The chieftain's sex drive will be completely exhausted, and even after he goes flaccid or passes out, girls will continue to pleasure him.Truly a fascinating practise, is it not?
>>61573825I wonder if that guy's oni gf would mind...
>>61573611>>cursed races like vampires and werewolves>Bigotry at its finest. Comparing two transmitable diseases to fucking savages like Skinwalkers. You're thinking of Nosferatu and Loup-Garou>>in b4 wuts the difference>Fucking idiots. Nos/Lou are the born race, Vamps/Weres are those infected. There's at least a chance to help the infected.Come off it, faglord.Literally nobody gives a shit whether the guy trying to drink their blood or maul them to death is an innocent dindu vamp/wolf who is just suffering from a disease, so hoorible, or if it's a dindu nos/loup who is just suffering from their innate instincts, so horribel.They're all fucking monsters who need their skulls cracked by a Lawful Good Pelorian paladin.
>>61573611>Bigotry at its finest. Comparing two transmitable diseases to fucking savages like Skinwalkers. You're thinking of Nosferatu and Loup-GarouNo bigotry. Its easy to confuse the cursed races (races created by placement of a curse on or carrying a cursed bacterium, parasite or virus by members of mortal races) with predatory races (races evolved to feed on other mortal races). Wendigos were determined to be a culture based psychotransformitive curse and Ya Naaldlooshi were determined to be the result of one of the nastiest Lyassavirus (same as Lyssavirus Luna aka werewolf virus) strains yet found. Lyassavirus Naaldlooshi has a incubation time measured in hours but a very low transmission rate.Cursed Races is the correct designation for them.
>>61573863It's so great to see some people haven't gotten their heads out of the dark ages. You ever wonder why countries with strog religious beliefs are always at the bottom of quality of life tables?And don't go pulling the 'good Pelorian' bullshit. A Pelorian would want to cure the sickness.
>>61573892>A Pelorian would want to cure the sickness.And we do. It's just that the cure for the sickness is a warhammer to the head and a stake to the chest.It's not like I'm a religious bigot or anything, I even have a couple friends among the subhuman races, I'm just a realist when it comes to the fact that monsters who can't live without preying on humans don't deserve to live. It's us or them.
>>61573918>subhuman racesOuch, pal. My grandpa was a hobgoblin, and he was a better man than you'll ever be. I was on your side until you said that, because fuck monsters, but that shit is straight up ignorant.
>>61573503Well, I humor them, of course. The sex is good, and they're honestly pretty nice girls when they're not in a frenzy. That said, the stalking is a little disturbing and the sole reason why I learned how to make myself invisible.
>>61573918>subhumanYou mean subelven, don't you monkey?
Did anyone put this on suptg?
>>61574121Doesn't look like it.
Archived.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.htmlGo and vote!
>>61574025Knocked any up yet?
>>61574193A few, not entirely sure how I feel about that. I'm twenty-five and in school, do I really have what it takes to be a dad? I just don't really know what to do about this, and every time I bring it up, they just say it'll all be fine!
>>61574224How many is a few? Be honest!Don't worry about it buddy, they hand them over to their mom's to take care of. Keep breeding!
>>61574237>How many is a few?Four, and the rest are probably still arguing over whose "turn" it is next! I just don't understand goblins, why would they latch onto me of all people? I'm a Half-Elf going to school so he can work in the family business enchanting things, and they fixate on me? It makes no sense
>>61574278Makes perfect sense. You're a magic user with long life. Good chief-making material. Make a dozen more! They'll love you for it.
>>61574291Really? I don't know much about goblin culture at all, Is there some sort of ritual or ceremony I'm supposed to perform if I'm going to be their chief? Like I said, they're pretty nice girls, always doing little things for me, and they're always eager to have me help with their homework. I want them to be happy.
>>61574345Basically once you get 10 girls dating you exclusively you'll be able to say you're their chief with honesty. Get to 20 and you'll be respected.
>>61573611>no-one here wondering why our school system is flooded by literally tens of thousands of greenskins?Uh...I never actually thought about this before. What happened at Lower Hutt?
>>61574401New Zealand used ro be a human colony. Gobbo hulk crashed off the north island. Massive influx of Goblins. After people got used to them, another hulk anchored in. And more Goblins came.When they outnumbered the natives by ten to one, they just took over. This is how they work. Stop thinking with your dick, these are MONSTERS.
>>61574399It's that simple? There's a dozen of them, and I've never heard them talk about any dates, aside from the times I come over to help them study, or to share the food that my grandmother sends me, so does that mean I can just walk up to them and say I'm their chief?
>>61574446Literally just walk up to them and tell them that. You'll never see them happier.
>>61574494Okay, I'll go do that now. I'll be back to report how it goes.