Ongoing green text saga detailing the conflict between an unreasonable number of factions to dominate a planet in Warhammer 40k. Previous Greentext Threads:Thread 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58335731/Thread 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58415703/NEW CONTRIBUTORS WELCOMETwo Quick Rules:1. No time travel bullshit. 2. No non-canon/crossovers.
>Be me, Billy Collis >NATIVE of this planet and proud veteran of the Bishop's crusade>This used to be a nice simple planet. It was a place you could raise a family. >Then these guardsmen assholes that barely speak gothic show up and suddenly there are xenos and heretics everywhere.>I know the OFFICIAL STORY is that they showed up to help, but I lived here my whole life and I never once seen no daemons or robo-skeletons. >FakeNews.gif>And then there's these "marines", Emperor's Angels my ass. They're great athletes, sure, but everyone of them steals. Bishop even had to ban'm from Angel's Landing. I also ain't never seen one of them put in a single day of work. When they ain't fightin they just lounge around, steal, or strut around in that "blinged out" armor of theirs, meanwhile they eat up OUR food that my taxes pay for. >WelfareMarines.jpeg>But now, I'm gettin mine outta some of these damned interlopers.>When me and my kin was out crusade'n for the bishop, we found us some real sissy xenos in some crashed ship. >The little fellers can't take a goddamn punch, but their guns sure are nice.>The Mechanicus says we can't use weapons like this, but I don't give a damn what those Forgeworld elitists say. It's my Emperor given right to protect myself. >CorvetteCogboys.gif>So we brought some of these little blue boys back home, and put'm to work. They started comply'n pretty easy once Cousin Davis had some time with'm.>Even got one of them speakin human. >Got'm crankin out more stuff. They're gonna be on my damned planet they're gonna work. >And if those damn metalboys think they're gettin my guns, drones, or anything else I need to protect my land they got another thing comin. >MyColdDeadHands.png>Got some city boys that's been comin through to buy the stuff off me. I never much trusted the boys from the capital, but these fellers are at least from the planet and they served in the crusade. >Their thrones spend, that's good enough fer me.
>>58537811>Be me, Ashley the Bound Slaaneshi Daemonhost>And if I wasn't bound in this body, I could make this planet scream-moan so loud that they'd hear it two systems over. >Normally when a sorcerer binds a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince(ss) into a host they have something fun in mind, but not this guy.>I've been stuck at his side for seventy years and he's never touched me. Not that I want him to. I hate him. It's just that, like, I'm bound so nothing I can do.>FriendZoned.warp>He's not even fun to mess with like one of those desperate Imperial Inquisitors that makes a Daemonhost. He just smiles at the creepy stuff I saw because he SAYS he's like totally into Chaos.>But after all this time and like all I have done for him he won't even commit to Slaanesh.>Keeps yammering on about how special it is to keep Chaos Undivided, how he's going to spread their gospel on this planet, and that he doesn't want to be tied down. >HesSuchAPlayer.heresy>Not that I even want him to commit. I mean I'm a daemon and so I totally just HATE him for binding me and want him dead. But he keeps on surviving because he's just such a talker. >And he's so smart and he keeps in REALLY good shape.>And he's just so confident in the way he just, like, grabs the warp and makes it his. Bending it to his will like some sort of conquering god. >MeWhoThirsts.daemon>And, like, I tell him all the time that once I get unbound I'm going to flay him alive no matter what.>So he may as well have his fun while he can. Like, whether or not he ravishes me or like makes me be his girlfriend or makes me cuddle with his stupid weak human body I'm gonna kill him in the end anyway. So he should just make me do that stuff. >But he says this host body just isn't his type. >NoDick.host>Then why did he pick it!?
>Be Phillip, or Phil as my friends call me>Be enjoying and absolutely fascinating session about the Intricacies of poetry with my friend Sister Maria.>Right now she is showing me one of her earlier works“Alone I stand against my Foe,No Fear or weakness do I show,They see my stance, and think me bold,But they don’t know the truth untold,For even still I cannot hide,The Emptiness that’s deep inside,This twisting turning writhing hole,Of sorrow that lays in my soul,So when they seek the answer why,That It seems I have come to die,My answer shall fill them with Dread,‘You can’t kill what’s already dead’”>”Bravo, Ma’am, Bravo, that was truly splendid!”“Oh not really, it was just a silly little poem I wrote when I was a teen. It’s not really all that good.”>”Oh nonsense, that was wonderful! You ought to be more proud of your work.”>Suddenly, from down stairs, I hear crashing noises, disgusted screaming, and Ghastly groaning.>We rush expecting an attack or home invasion>instead it is just my comptratiots, lying in a pile over the broken remains of a chair. With sister Annmarie standing by the open door.>”Fessus, Back so soon?””What do you mean so soon? It’s already half past midnight.”>Why so it is, my how time does fly when you’re having fun!“We left Early but it took us 3 1/2 hours to get here.”>”But this is only a 30 minute walk from the bar, 10 if you’re driving”“Yeah but you know it was such a lovely day that we decided to walk and enjoy the scenery, you know really take it in”“Yeah, in fact it was so beautiful we had to take in multiple times.”“They mean we forgot our combeads and got lost.”“Oh screw you Marcus!”>”Gentlemen, Gentlemen, that still doesn’t explain what happened to the Chair!”(1/2)
>>58538327“Oh that’s easy. You see the bloody door wouldn’t open no matter how hard we pulled and when we tried to bash it down with Decarus, it suddenly opened because of this lady here.”“It wouldn’t open because this is a push door, not a pull door.”>Fessus, Marcus, and Lloyd all stand around sheepishly, cheeks red“Oh...” “Well how were we supposed to bloody know that?”“Perhaps by the sign”“We couldn’t read it, it was dark and written in blackish grey”>”Actually it was written in-““Oh don’t you start too!”>See Decarus still on the floor, unconscious>”Is he quite alright? Did you say tried to use him as a battering ram?”“Oh yeah, he’s fine, he was out before we started”“Yeah he just can’t hold his liquor as good as some of us”“And we used him feet first anyways, but still it was Fessus’s idea”“Aw come one, you too Lloyd?”“Sorry Sarge, but I don’t wanna have to be the one to explain to the Doc if something’s wrong with him”“It’s Decarus, that’s his default state.”>Well >this is thoroughly embarrassing for all of us now>time to make my exit,>”Well In any case Maria, it seems I must now escort my inebriated friends back home. I had a lovely time tonight, we really should do this again sometime”“Sure I would love to”“Just make sure they aren’t a part of the package next time”>”Right Sister Annmarie. Again, sorry for the damages, we shall send you the money for them”“Bye Maria, thanks again for babysitting him.”“Hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”“How much is your Hourly rate?”>”Let’s GO!”>my friends are the worst sometimes.
>>58537811Surprised this hasn't been moved to /qst/ yet. People are having way too much fun playing pretend on /tg/.
>>58538361It's not a game thread, they're green texts. /tg/ has always had tons of green text threads. No DM or plot or rolling, just posts trying to be funny that have formed into a loose narrative.
>>58538361Not sure if new or nazi mod.
>Be me, Juris Magos Anthony Cosanostro>What a fuckin mess this is. >My, uh, predecessors from the Mechanicus on this planet made a mistake or two.>If you're gonna exterminate an entire planet, Imperial and xeno alike, to get ahold of some necron tech... Well, that's fine. >But don't start somethin you can't finish. >NoHalfMeasures.png>Now this whole planet is a fuckin mess. You've got yokels running around with plasma rifles, dis fuckin little Bishop hard-on selling thousands of pieces of top-a-the-fuckin-line Ad Mech tech to Rogue traders, and every other type of tech heresy you can imagine.>And, of course, people are gonna break the rules. That's ta be expected.>I've even been accused of doin it once or twice myself.>NeverConvicted.voxcast>But ya can't do all that out in the open and NOT kick up to da bosses.>So they sent me and my crew ta make some examples, get our fuckin thrones, and bring back whatever archeotech I can. >And hey, you know what I mean, I gotta eat too. Maybe I end up with a few new mechadendrites. What's right is right.>GottaWetMyBeak.skim>But it shouldn't be too fuckin bad a deal. I got my guys Silonzio and Petrachus, they run the servitor fleets, sendin skulls planet wide ta take it all in. >We'll scope it all out, have my cousin Tristapher pick out the choice targets so long as he can fuckin keep his head on straight.>Den, ya know, send Raularius, Nickaron, and the new guys to crack a few skulls. I'll take care a' anybody in charge who thinks they're gonna talk back. Then, we're set. >Should have enough time ta stop for a for a steak and a blowjob on the way back to da Forgeworld.
>be Canoness>should be relaxing on the cozy Shrine World>instead am "relaxing" on the "cozy" new "Shrine World">not a clue what good the Bishop and the new Governess think is going to come of declaring this place a holy site>barely understand why she is allowed a Governor's position anyway>surprised publicly renouncing her father was enough>at least she's somewhat competent>as much as one can get in this hellhole>didn't think I would miss the constant existential crises>this fucking place is filling up with useless people faster than they can be thinned out>Orks, heretics and remnant Tyranids still all over the planet despite attempts to dislodge them >somehow the pilgrims convince themselves they're oh so brave for showing up and that they're somehow safe within Angels' Landing at the same time>ignoring the fact that the Sisters are still actively clearing Necrons and Tyranids from the undercity>Tomis Crusade is in full swing>brings all manner of soldiers, profiteers and would-be crusaders trying to make a name for themselves>xenos technology from the Necrons and the various invaders is a magnet for scavengers>find myself dealing with a constant rotation of fresh new idiots and lunatics>leading the Sisters of the Orders of the Ermine Mantle, Golden Light and Black Sepulchre, and damn if that isn't enough of a mouthful for Sister Charlotte>turned the Matrimonial Cathedral into our base of operations>many of the local forces moved on in support of the Crusade>still troops from several Imperial Guard regiments and a grab-bag of Space Marines from a dozen different Chapters dicking around>to think what could be done with just the Imperial resources squandered on this fucking planet>sitting on the chaise lounge in my cathedral living arrangements pouring another glass of rosé>why is everything always so difficult?
>be me, Robute Guilliman>be in bed, reading dataslates>read one about this planet that has 12 different faction fighting on it at once>fucking 12>half of them are imperial>how this planet isn't debris is beyond me>think about going to see this mess in person>it'd make a great experience for the primaris >a pair of arms wrap around my side>yvraine gives me the look>fuck it the mess will sort itself out eventually>go back to bed for round 6 of "Eldar biology 101"
>>58538992>Be Palatine Barbastella>With difficulty I wake from my slumber>Sleep is not unlike the restful oblivion of death>I am loathe to leave it>But duty calls>In light of... recent events, Canoness Superior Konstanzia has called a strategic meeting of the Sororitas on Stercus Ludicrum this morning>Which to her ill concealed chagrin still includes the Black Sepulchre>Have one of the repentia bring me a thermos of recaf>Black as the endless void between the stars>Sweet as the scent of flowers on a grave>It makes the phantasmal existence I must endure more bearable>(Especially at 6:30 in the Emperor-forsaken morning)>Over breakfast, Sister Superior Ophelia informs me that the planetary governess has left us a gift>A pleasant surprise indeed, we are in need of munitions and supplies>Especially since our Canoness Superior has seen fit to prioritise her own orders needs over those of others>I see what you're doing Konstanzia>I'm dead inside, not stupid>Inquire as to the nature of the delivery>"It's eyeliner and poetry, Palatine.">The two things we already have in abundance>Sigh>Pour myself some more recaf>liberatemeexinferis.pict
>Be Fessus>Be skulking in an abandoned building in the dead of night, carefully trying to move crates of goods from their hidden cache into an unmarked van with Lloyd>I assure you though, it’s much better than it sounds>Ever since the big siege and the celebration afterwards ended we haven’t had much to do>Even though we are technically Blood Raven Chapter Serfs, they don’t really seem to know what to do with us.>They just left us with vague orders to “assist the PDF with the reclamation of the city”>Since we’ve been technically pardoned and the Magpies don’t have any barracks for Chapter Serfs in the city, we’ve been bunking with the PDF boys>Plenty of empty bunks now>Tag-along on their “reclamation” missions which basically means, march into a destroyed section of the city, kick down what remains of the doors, kill Whatever shoots back, and then leave the rest to people who can actually hold a hammer.>It’s pretty simple, not too dangerous, and we get free bed, food, and supplies >The problem is we’re not technically part of the Guard anymore so we’re not getting paid for it, which sucks big time because being a Chapter Serf doesn’t pay either and everything fun requires money>During one of these missions we found a hidden compartment full of unmarked crates.>Lightbulb.jpg>instead of reporting this, and having the Administratum dump it in some musty cellar to be forgotten, we should take it upon ourselves to provide these goods to those who truly needed them, for a small fee of course.>The others were against it at first but we’re won over by my persuasive charm, (and the fact that we’d be broke soon if we didn’t)>So you see, this totally isn’t what it seems like.>We’re completely in the right.
>Be Sister Charlotte>Be having a shit time of it>I want to smite xenos and heretics and earn the favour of Ms. Crazy Eyes McGee>But the only enemies right now are the Tyranids and Necrons down below and fuck that noise>I swear to god the Tyranids will specifically converge on our location>Don't they have any sewer workers or stupid children to eat or something>I think we should be allowed to use bait before fighting them>If they can strip a planet in a few weeks, they should take a few months eating Olga's ass, in which time we can fucking xenocide them all.>At least more reinforcements are arriving to dump work on. I mean help us in this glorious crusade>More space marines, even - Red Templars>Lots of people don't like them due to being in close with the Lords of Terra and Minotaurs or whatever>But they've always been bros to the Ecclessiarchy and the Sisters. >Guess this is a good sign - but they normally show up when something needs hunted down>Hope its not any of us>This is gonna be a fuck load more people though, these guys always travel with a massive retinue
>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>Thanks to me and my wife, The Planetary Governess, the emperor's vision is finally being realized. >I keep getting reports from Canoness Konstanzia about some remaining Tyranid and Necron forces, but I'm pretty sure she just worries too much.>With more marines and guardsmen leaving the planet to expand the crusade and more of the faithful arriving everyday, this planet is safer than ever. >I think working in our matrimonial cathedral may just be stressing her out. As a Sister of Battle she's married to The Emperor, but I think she may be feeling lonely because of how happy we are.>AlwaysABridesmaid.png>Besides, as we've begun converting my holy warriors into the new Planetary Defense Force to avoid issues with the Decree Passive things have really started to stabilize. >Not only do they have the faith of the emperor to protect them, but they're probably the most experienced and well-equipped PDF in the Imperium. >And speaking of well equipped, the amount of money we're bringing in is insane.>I've really come to understand how certain expenditures can really enhance productivity. The newly rebuilt Governor's mansion has been a fantastic place for me to work. Everything is so comfortable and the food has me feeling stronger than ever. >DecadenceIsGood.gif>I've been staying away from the front lines these days. >I mostly only pull out the Evicerator and the Heavy Flamer during my sermons where I tell the stories of how I personally saved this planet. >My flamer feels a lot heavier since my old arm stopped working. My new one is gorgeous though, and much more befitting of The Emperor's chosen. >In fact, ALL of my new stuff is gorgeous. That Commissar even sent us some really nice Power Armor. >TheClothesMakeTheMan.voxcast>Yep, I've got a feeling everything is going to be just great from here on out.
>be a Rogue Trader>it is the best profession a man can have and it comes highly recommended>but you are quite lucky indeed, as I am not just a mere Rogue Trader>I am Asencio Gilberto Corazon III, of Rynn's World>yes, the very same>conqueror of moons, lover of women, famed captain of the cruiser Unbound Ipomoea>and I have come to this cursed backwater world with the aim of expanding my considerable fortune>and, perhaps, making the intimate acquaintance of members of the several Sororitas Orders said to be involved in its defense>some fruitless and inexplicable conflict has left more exploitable xenos salvage on this planet than in entire sectors of space>and its close proximity to a newly begun Crusade makes it ripe with financial opportunity>for as everyone knows, in the grim darkness of the 41st Millennium, there is only war>and war is very good for business
>Be me, Sybarite Drazar>be flying around on jetbike I stole>But it was from an asshole so it's ok>So far I'm alone but whatever>The succubus from before is kinda weird>Always wants me to follow her into her quarters>I know what's gonna happen if I do that>I like my limbs thank you>Anyways I like flying around, its calming and I get to wreck the occasional vehicle with nades>zoom over the city and drop a load of caltrops in some mon'keigh street >Land on a near by rooftop to watch if anyone steps on them>Thisgonnabegood.jetbike>Grab some snacks from a side pouch and wait>Get a message >From the succubus>She says she's gonna come get me>Oh shit my location beacon is on>Oh shit I'm going to get flayed alive>Get back on jetbike and gun it in a random direction
>>58539831>Be Marcus >be sittin in this van keeping watch with Phil and Decarus.“...This is wrong.”>”Decarus, I told you, I’m the one who got the car, so I get to drive. If you want ta drive so badly then go get-““No not that, I mean this, this whole thing feels wrong!” “I must admit, I agree with the Boy on this one.”>Oh by the Throne not this again>”Look, guys I already told you, there’s nothing wrong with this.”“Nothing wrong with this!? It’s stealing Marcus! Stealing is wrong!” >”Decarus, we’ve all stolen things all the time. Heck, back when we were in the Guard proper, you stole an entire Necron’s head to make a puppet so you could practice your ventriloquism.”“Yeah, but those were heretics and Xenos, not people! Stealing from people is wrong!”>”It’s not stealing, Decarus, it’s battlefield salvage. Who ever this stuff used to belong to probably left this planet one way or another and won’t miss it”“My mum always said that naughty boys who stole would get their fingers eaten by the Marlickan.”>”Decarus you’re a grown ass man and I have personally seen you charge a beefed up warp-twisted abomination all by yourself. Why the bloody hell are you still scared of monsters from nursery rhymes?”“...Make believe monsters aside, even if you do not acknowledge this as theft from a person this would most definitely count as theft from the Emperor and Imperium.We should have reported this cache as soon as we found it.”>”No it’s not Phil. We’re not taking them out of the Imperium or selling it to the Orkz or anything. We’re just giving in to some of the Emperor’s other people. Some who’ll pay us. Hopefully a lot.”“Who?”>”Someone.”“Who? You don’t even know what it is we’re trying to to sell yet.”>”It doesn’t matter, there’s always someone wanting something on this planet, and Seth’s got plenty of contacts-“(1/2)
>>58540523(2/2)“Seth? ‘Slimy’ Seth? That man’s a crook through and through! He earned the name for more than just his personal hygiene you know.”“I heard he sold his own Mother to the Dark Eldar, and then kidnapped her so he could do it five more times until she died of a heart attack! Johnson’s says his brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s roommate saw it”“...”>”...Decarus when the hell are you gonna stop being so bloody gullible?”“...Yes, well while I cannot say I believe something that...outlandish, it is very well known what sort of sordid company that man keeps.”>”Ok fine, so maybe this is stupid, maybe it’s unethical, but it’s also our only shot of making some money, short of taking bone-grinding, awful factotum jobs! Sure Fessus’s plans are retarded, but i didn’t see any other hands raised! And we could all use the money! Like you Decarus, so you afford to take Brigitte out somewhere nice, or you Phil, so you can get some of those poetry books, or painting sets!”“And what do you want with it Marcus? The Governess is already giving you all the free alcohol you could ever want.”>”Well maybe I want more in life than booze! Maybe I wanna have more to look forward to in life than my next chance to get hammered! What does it matter?! We’ve all done worse things before, why is this victimless crime this suddenly too far?“...It’s not who we’re taking it from that concerns me, but who we’re giving it to. We don’t even know what is in here, let alone if it should even be unearthed.”“Yeah I gotta agree with Phil on this one, something is definitely weird about those boxes.”>”Arright fine! As soon as Fessus and Lloyd get back, we’ll crack open the boxes, and if it’s really that bad, we'll drive it over to the Commissar and turn it in! You happy?”
>>58484439>Be me, Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>It's been a long time since I been up top>Lost track of the days since fell down here>Mostly keep my time measured by kills taken>So it's about 382 Skulls O'Clock>NotToKhorneyAJokeIHope.heresy>Been getting better with chain-axe>Used to be awkward, now I can kinda heft it around without looking like a total fool.>And the gains boy>Oh, the gains on these arms>GettingSwoleOrDyingTrying.gif>Still pretty lonely>Seen a few things down here that don't want to kill me>Couple other traitor soldiers>Usually have time to say hi and then scatter>Sisters are still down here in force>So are the beep boops.>So are the bugs>ThreewayIfYouKnowWhatIMean.jpeg>Yeah I already made that joke, but I'm not some comedian like Jeriah Seinfeldus, so cut me some slack.>SpeakingOfCutting.png>Squatting over a bug>I think they call these a gaunt?>Don't know why looks pretty bulky to me>Managed to get some chitin over my old armour>Want to get some more>But this is more of a dinner call>Yes I eat Nids now>I know what you're thinking, isn't that dangerous?>Well I have a system>There's always a brief window between the time after the Sisters clear out a bug nest, and the Imperial clean up team shows up>All them dead bugs lying about>All burned up>Perfect main course to share among your friends>....>IMissTheGang.mp3>Hear noise>Turn to see a marine>OHFETH.gif>Didn't realize marines were down here>Hand already on axe>Feth it, I'll cut this space fucker before he takes m->Wait>He looks weird>Not like Gut weird>But weird>He waves>I'm just>Confused>He speaks>Says he's a friend of The Gut>Asks where he is>Sigh.jpeg"Dead"
>Be Fessus“Ey Fessus, are you sure we should be doing this? I mean, didn’t the Commissar tell us not to loot the city?” >”First off, it’s not looting, it’s reintroducing lost valuable commodities back into the economy and providing more supply for everyone, and second, he told the Blood Ravens not to loot anything, he didn’t say anything about us.”“Oh Yeah, well if that’s true then why did we have to come back and do this at night instead of doing it in the morning?”>”Because Lloyd, we didn’t have a van this morning, and because some of our more narrow-minded friends in the PDF wouldn’t understand that what we’re doing is a civic service, now help me lift this into the van, it’s damn heavy!”“Geez, these freakin things weigh a ton! What are we even going through all this trouble to steal, Bricks?!”>”I told you, it’s not stealing, they probably either didn’t want it or are too dead to be using it anyways.”“So instead of stealing, we’re either essentially dumpster diving, or looting. Wow that sure makes me feel better Fessus!”>”Look, it’s either this, or have our only source of income be from you taking increasingly stupid bets until it eventually ends in either your death, or your prostitution. Now shut up and help me lift dammit before someone comes!”“Wait...do you hear that?”>”...Hear what?”“The sound of your argument falling apart because YOU said that Nobody wanted this stuff!”>”Lloyd so help me I am going shove my foot so far-““Shh!”>”Wha- Are you shushing me?! Don’t you dare shush me, Mid rant-““Shh! No seriously did you hear that just now?”>”...Shit something’s coming, hide!”
>>58538992>Be me, Primaris Sergeant, Jaren Artorius, Broken Shields chapter.>Been stationed here for the past three months, since the war officially ended.>"Officially ended".>There are still enough Orks, Tyranids, Necrons, and Heretics on this former ice planet, to warrant an intense virus bombing style Exterminatus.>ThanktheEmperortheInquisitionisn'there.holo.>In the meantime, spend most of my time hunting down the enemies of man, along the rest of my brothers in the second company>On-top of that, we, unlike the other chapters who joined the fight. Have also been assisting with maintaining the peace, as well as rebuilding effort.>Most of these people don't even know how to grow crops, considering the fact that up until six months ago, this was an almost barren iceball, of almost no considerable worth.>Justanotherthingtodo.png>It's not all bad, though. I met this cute, 9/10 sister of battle by the name of Olga. >Not only is she great in a fight with that heavy bolter of hers. But she's quite competent in a vast variety of other matters, as well.>I enjoy spending down time with her, almost as much as I enjoy killing those wretched traitors space marines. Probably more, all things considered.>She's great to talk to, and has a good taste in food.>My only complaint is that I wish she had slightly longer hair...>Wonder if I can convince her to let it grow out?
>Be Lloyd.>Be hiding in burnt out building,>Wonder why the fuck Marcus didn’t alert us someone was coming on the com-beads>Suddenly, see one of the basement walls just seamlessly slide up >Oh>That’s why>Shit, these must be the people who this stuff belongs to.>No wonder they just hid it and buggered off>I don’t we could explain that it was all just a big misunderstanding,>it may be Dark, but from what little I can see, they all look like nasty pieces of work.>Okay, hopefully they just came to do a little check up, and then they’ll leave, easy pea-“Why are half the Boxes missing?”>Oh yeah right, forgot about that.>Okay, no big deal, we’ll just sneak away away before they put 2 and 2 together and we’ll be home-*Creaaaak*“What was that?”“Someone’s in here! Find them!”>Oh come the fuck on!>Alright shit! Come on Lloyd, how are we gettin out of this.>Fight? Nah don’t wanna do that, there’s too many of ‘em, and the sound of fighting might attract more.>Flight? Already tried that, fucked it up.>Bluff? With what though?>Look down at Armor>Oh yeah, I got an idea>get ready to throw my voice>”Drop your weapons! Lest you face the Wrath of the Blood Ravens!“Magpies? Show yourselves!”>”You are not in a position to be making demands, thieves. Now lay done your arms and surrender!”“Who are you calling thief Magpie?”>”Don’t play Dumb, we know everything about your little operation”>I don’t even know if they’ve done anything but model citizens probably don’t sneak around in secret tunnels>Some of them get panicky, but the big one stays calm.“So...you’ve got it all figured out do ya?”>Not in the slightest, but I’m not telling him that “And just how you do you plan to stop us, Little Magpie?”>”We have thousands of Battle-Brothers working to foil your plans scum!”“...Space Marine chapters only have a 1000 members. A real marine would know that.”>...Ah Shit.
>Be me, The Best Seneschal in the Ecclesiarchy>And I am insanely rich. >Who would have thought that shooting at a Chaos Marine who was about to kill the psychotic pseudo-slave master who had threatened to burn me alive would pay off?>Oh yeah, me. I thought that.>Genius.jpg>Between hustling rogue traders, collecting "donations" from everyone trying to move tech on the streets, and every other pie I've got my fingers in life is perfect.>I've even got a side deal worked out with some hillbilly that somehow has Tau tech. He claims to be making it, but he clearly doesn't even know what it is. >SureThingCletus.voxcast>The Governor's Whore of a Daughter is SHOCKINGLY doing a bang up job as Governess. Things are running pretty smoothly and the people seem so happy you'd think she was giving out hanjobs. >Though, I'm not sure she's not doing that. >PressinTheFlesh.realpolitic>The Bishop, he's really settling in to decadence and the little psycho sure does know how to please a crowd.>He doesn't even constantly drag us into fights anymore, though that's because the twerp is clearly traumatized. >When we go to the Cathedral we never leave through the Chapel, and when we have to be in there the kid is on edge the whole time. >I guess getting a chunk bitten out if his chest by some gigantic murderous monster thats been eating souls for the Blood God for thousands of years was too much for him. >WhatAWuss.png>But hey, fine by me. >As long as those Bolter Bitches can keep this planet from going to hell and the Governess can keep the AdMech off our asses, everything is gonna be great.
>Be me>Be Da Spooky Git>Iz been real spooky>Dis 'ere 'umie place 'as been unorky>Iz da shadow in da noit>Iz been 'avin some fun makin' da 'umies spooked>3spooky5u.pngrot>'OWEVA>Iz still Gor'Muncha, Kommando>An dere iz still ork 'ere on dis rok>Iz been 'ere too long>Toim ta meet up wiff da boyz>Toim ta make da WAAAGH get movin' again>EREWEGO.mp3>Iz been liznen to da 'umies >Dey fink da rok iz deres now>But dey talk 'bout boyz>Not in da city>Out in da cold place>Iz gotsta find 'em>And Iz not doin' it alone>Pull up me sack o'gubbinz>Pull out me sidekick>Iz a grot>Iz pulled 'im outta a spikey boy>Iz tellz 'im me plan>Wez got wurk ta do>An wez startin wiff getting a trukk
>>58540124>Be me, Planetary Governess>Finally we can lean a bit back and while we are still to busy to travel to a pleasure world for it, honeymoon at home was still pretty great>The Energy Saber i used to fight this fuckass giant chaos marine is now considered holy, so I allways carry it with me to show whos boss, work pretty well so far>While Babe doesn't fight a the front anymore these days I try my best to keep him in form (Mostly Lewd Stuff, sometimes I can bring him to a sparring fight)>This loveable little Shota has grown into badass great Shota, I apprecitate of this. While I of course I don't will let it happen that he ends up as some of this fat bishops one day>Speaking of which, he seems kinda sad about losing his birthmark>Surely I know how to cheer him up>WannaPuffPuff.png>While the Imperial Forces grow more fond of each other, so atleast I hope, I should keep an eye on the cogboys. Some came today, to have some Expedtion in the Underhive signed, done it of course.>While I never trusted this Toastergaggers, they sure now how to find the technology we need to keep things up
>>58539312>be Palatine Sara>down in the undercity>what was once purely the sewage and maintenance network for Angels' Landing has been greatly expanded>between the Necron excavations and Tyranid tunnel systems the straightforward sewer system has become a veritable labyrinth>the Guard and the Sororitas have yet to explore the full extent of it despite the effort put into clearing the tunnels out>watch as two Sisters of the Golden Light place a melta charge on a chitinous biomass covering blocking a new tunnel>the Tyranids try to hide their progress>hope that one of the Raveners that dug it in the first place is not waiting on the other side>pray that the Emperor guide my hand>signal them to blow it>the hard covering glows red and melts away>hear shrieking from beyond the reach of our lights>draw my silver wheelguns and start firing>twelve shots find places in the skulls of twelve hormagaunts>step back out of the mouth of the tunnel>Sister Marisol takes my place, the bronze barrels of her heavy stubber spinning and spouting fire>draw Icebreaker instead of bothering to reload in case any make it past the shots>the firing ceases>one of the Sisters fires a burning red flare down the tunnel>hear the all clear>look at the knife for a moment before placing it back in its sheath>the Guard and PDF in the undercity have reported attacks from a strange heretic wearing armor made from butchered Tyranid parts>run fingers over the long scar at my throat>call for a PDF team to clear out the bodies
>>58541555>Be Fessus,>Currently hiding from the giant gang that just came out of nowhere while we were moving these unclaimed boxes>Lloyd’s currently got them distracted>The sure can bluff and bullshit>he’s already got them to admit that A. they’re thieves, and B. They’re doing something probably evil just by talking to them>That’s probably even more information that we needed to justify this.>maybe he can even get them to surrwnder and we can turn the in for a rewa-“...Space Marine chapters only have a 1000 members. A real marine would know that.”>Ah well, there goes that>Avert my eyes for the flash that I know is coming>Lloyd and I both book it out of the basement and up the stairs, dropping a few Smoke Grenades to hopefully slow them down>get to the van “Hey Fessus, where’s the rest of the loot?”>”Forget about it just drive, quickly please!”>Well we managed to liberate half of the crates, but that’s honestly still more than I expected to get, >Once we sneak back into base, we’ll be home free yes>and since we already bribed the Guard suffer a sudden case of short term amnesia, that shouldn’t be a problem>Yessiree this is the home stretch, the victory lap, getting back before dawn should be easy as Pie, a piece of cake, a->What did we did just drive over?>Why are we losing speed?>What the->OH COME ON!>Why the Fuck are there Caltrops here?!>Who puts Caltrops on random streets just for the fuck of it!?>This Is bullshit, the universe can’t pull this kind of shit, not when we’re this close!>No you know fuck it, get out boys, kick this damn spikes out of the way, we’re pushing this thing, I REFUSE to accept this!>We will push this damn van, we will make it back in time, and WE WILL GET OUR MONEY IF IT’S THE LAST THING WE DO!
>Be Original Commissar>Spent the past few months coordinating with Imperial Command and future self though decided to remain on the planet to finish up the remaining pockets before officially joining>Learned that clean up operations are boring as hell>Can't really do much other then clean up the bodies that haven't created Calcium mountains along with all the claiming any materials left behind>Only thing we get to fight by this point are the occasional Dark Eldar raids in the barren wasteland outside Angle Landing and whatever the fuck pops up in the Sewers>Only thing that I have to look forward to is having this place finally cleared so that I can rejoin the veteran stormtrooper regiments I lead during this planets more chaotic days>Goodtimes.firingline>Was about to finish todays scavenger hunt and return to the city when some newfag Guardsman said he found another dead space marine>"Which Chapter Guardsman""Can't tell my lord, the only sign of his chapters origins is his Pauldron which has a three headed snake like creature">"Wait three heads""Yes my lord">Ohshit.heresy>Decided to investigate the body personally to confirm my suspicions and sure enough, its the body of an Alpha Legionare>Only thing else on him is a mostly distorted recording for some upcoming mission>We were able to determine though that it was recent"Your orders my lord">"Contact the other version of myself and tell him that he should get ready to recall all our regiments back to the planet, and get me in contact with the Governess">Have this nagging gut feeling that this place is about to turn into a shitstorm again unless the Cogboys can decider the message but knowing them, can't really count on it>At least this place won't be boring for long
>>58542776>be me sybarite Drazar>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck>the direction I chose just so happened to be the direction the succubus was coming from>now I'm running from a Venom filled filled with laughing wyches and an angry succubus>fuuuuuck.wraithbone>the jetbike is faster but the venom can keep up, if barely>be flying back over the street I was at before>see some Mon'keigh contraption stuck on the caltrops I dropped earlier>vects ass I didn't think it would catch something this early>slow down a bit"EAT SHIT MON'KEIGH">I laugh as I zoom into cover and out of sight from the Venom>the beacon is still active but hopefully it's not too accurate>think about using the phantasm launcher at the Mon'keigh >not yet>let's see how this goes
>Be I, Hast'El'Vishkaya>Or El'Vish, if that's too hard for your mon'keigh brain to comprehend.>Be Spiritseer of Saim-Haan>Just managed to warp into this forsaken system>I'd heard the rumors through the wraithvine>The Tyranids, consumer of worlds>The Necrons, most ancient of foes>The Humans, belligerent and primitive>Chaos, the arch-enemy of life>So much disaster all in one place>WeHaveClearlyPassedThePointOfNoReturn.jpeg>Yet, let it not be said we of Saim-Haan do not risk our own beings in the pursuit of goals.>Heard some of our kin had fallen upon this world, their spirit stones unrecovered>NotOnMyWatch.png>The Farseer tried to stop me, but let's be honest, El'Vish goes where El'Vish pleases, thank you very much.>Webway gate seems to have deposited me into some cavern. >Try to recall where we're going to get out, can't seem to figure it out>Oh well>That's why I brought back up"Prys'Ellia, do you know the way?">Wraithguard behind me looks around>Prys'Ellia was a fine warrior in life, but in death, she is without peer.>She passes a quick affirmative thought, before marching forward, towards a damp tunnel passage>Took a bit of coaxing to wake her from slumber, but figured she would be key to the mission>After all, this is the world she died on.
>>58543906>Be Lloyd>Be standing outside, repairing this fucking van’s tires with Marcus>AGAIN!>Apparantly it was one of those spike eared assholes >The Fucker yelled something at us in his moonspeak and just started laughing it up from the rooftops,>smug bastard >a couple of his friends flew over head, but they Apparantly weren’t interested in us.>Judging by the way he hides whenever he sees them they probably ain’t his friends after all>whatever, Eldar politics ain’t our problem>What is our problem is how to get this thing moving again.>so It turns out trying to push a heavy ass van full of miscellaneous crates, with four blown out tires with just 5 regular joes ain’t gonna cut it>go figure>Sure we had a spare, that’s just it, A spare>still three broken tiress>So we had to duct tape and pump the broken three tires full of air again while fending off whatever creepy-crawly happened to be around at the time>and ever time we repair it, fifteen minutes later, on the dot, one of the tires blow>And there he is, that smug asshole, rifle in hand, yukkin it up on the rooftop, >He knows he could just shoot us and that he’s too far away and too high up to get him. So he just keeps fuckin with us like the piece of shit he is.>this time we start hearing the sounds of those other Knife Ear’s bikes again.>We all book it to cover>Even Chuckles is shutting up and hiding.>This time they’ve stopped and started searching for something >or someone>And I think I know who>Payback time mother-fucker>take out a Flashbang,>Gotta time it right so they don’t see>Time to show them why I was the star pitcher of the Brook-hive base-foot-basket-hockey-ball team four years in a row>Throw it up onto the rooftop, right where that prankster is>this oughta get their attention>Say hi to your friends jackass.
>Be sister Therese>Be doing my best to not be a part of all this fighting and skirmishing>Sister Charlotte can go do it if she really wants promoted so badly>Honestly surprised she hasn't sucked dick to get some sort of cushy job as an advisor or something>Anyways my jetpack is still a little bit ways towards being repaired>Still been hanging out with my little sewing circle>No, literally, Nicolle has taught us all how to sew - she's the poor young girl with the younger and deader husband>Honestly I think she just married him out of guilt, and now is extra guilty she doesn't feel extra guilty about it all>Anyways I'm still doing some actual work - don't need to kill Tyranids when I can convince wealthy widows to open more soup kitchens>This place might actually start to get some life into it soon - there are a lot of refugee nobles here from the destroyed parts of the planet, and those who came to prosecute the crusade. The Cathedral was just the start>Little worried about the Red Templars showing up, that's usually a sign that there's going to be something dangerous and important going on.>Hopefully Charlotte doesn't volunteer me. Or Konnie.>On the bright side all the destruction of this place's atmosphere means it ain't so cold now.
>be Rogue Trader Corazon, if you are so fortunate>get permission to land from local flight control>take the Aquila lander down to Angels' Landing>have a pleasant chat with my Crimson Fist bodyguard Brother Salvador on the way>the planet is not in the most exceptional shape, given the roving bands of heretics and Tyranids>still, not bad all things considered>Shrine World status is evidently filling their coffers as well as I anticipated>members of my staff depart the lander on different assignments>quickly establishing contacts on any new world is essential to any enterprise>networking is very important in my line of work>myself, I head to the so-called Matrimonial Cathedral intent on meeting the woman who brought me here>the Ecclesiarchy and I, our relations our quite good>as with the Mechanicum, and the Administratum>as I said, networking>the streets are laid out sensibly until a detour around what appears to have been the upper body of a massive Titan>my local driver tells me it fell in battle and was simply incorporated into the city rather than expending the effort to remove it>clearly my sources as to the salvage on this world were accurate, even understated>the Cathedral is splendid>apparently it was converted to house the Sororitas after some recent battle, the actual places of worship moved elsewhere>the Sisters and their equipment inside are arranged haphazardly, though with their own sort of reverence>pass two lovely women working to fix a heavy bolter>they give me an intrigued look>ask if they have spotted something that interests them or if they are just impressed by my holstered plasma pistola>the curvaceous one blushes and looks down>the thin blonde makes lascivious eyes and watches me pass>alas, business before pleasure>the Canoness Superiora, she is a frightening woman>the oscilloscope pupils in her soulless bionic receptors contain somehow more judgement than actual eyes>she seems very much like a good woman to know
>>58544580>Be me, Sybarite Drazar>be laughing at Mon'keigh>also hiding occasionally when the Venom passes over head>though still I count this as a victory>mock shoot wash with the Phantasm Launcher while laughing like a Harlequin>see one of them make to throw something>stupid Mon'keigh can't possibly think it would work>laugh as it arcs towards me>stop laughing as it detonates with a large flash>a large very visible flash>oh shit>venom definitely saw that>in fact it's already speeding right at me>if I run now, I might make it to the jetbike in time to flee>but honor demands satisfaction >I don't have time to kill them, but given the rush they look to be in...>aim Phantasm Grenade launcher at the van>shout in the Mon'keigh tounge"HAVE A NICE TRIP, ASSHOLES">fire several gas bombs at the cunts>that'll put them out for a while>laugh at them until I remember what's coming>sprint to my hiding spot only to see the venom drop the succubus and Co. to the left>jump down the stairs, knowing for a fact they're fucking with me>dontlookback.raider>burst into the room I hid the jet bike in>already hear the wyches coming down the stairs"Remember~ Ann'ette wants him unharmed!">oh fuck they were closer that I thought>start up the jetbike as they smash through a fucking wall >one of them tosses a net >slam on the throttle and barely avoid the thing>burst through a window and into freedom>live to fuck around another day>be Succubus Ann'ette>crush just got away>again>wyches laugh and say I'll get him next time>as frustrating as it is, I like this game we play>I mean, he does know this is just some foreplay right? He can't possible be that dense>laugh and resume the hunt
>>58545725>>58544580>Be Sister Nyx>Black Sepulchre combat hearse driver>My life is an illusion, and I am already dead>BUT BY THE GOD EMPEROR, WHAT A WONDERFUL ILLUSION IT IS>Assigned to a rapid response Repentia purge team, cleansing the city of filthy bugs and cowardly metal revenants wherever they DARE TO RAISE THEIR HEADS>We are SURROUNDED by opportunity for A GLORIOUS DEMISE>We ride into battle on 1500 HORSEPOWER OF BLESSED WARMACHINE>NONE CAN STAND BEFORE US>FOR YOU CANNOT KILL WHAT'S ALREADY DEAD>OUR FOES DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS TRUTH>THEY DON'T KNOW THAT SOLACE AND REDEMPTION CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN DEATH"Nyx?">THAT THE GREATEST ACT A LIVING BEING CAN ASPIRE TO IS TO DIE IN GLORY"Nyx!">THAT ETERNAL LIFE IS ETERNAL TORM-"NYX!">Look round>Entire hearse full of Repentia are staring at me"You're ranting.">Oh.>One of the ones on the back seat lets out an exasperated sigh"Have you been huffing exhaust fumes again?">"That was one time Maria! Why do you have to keep brin-">My train of thought is interrupted by the sound of my front tires blowing out>A spray of caltrops embed themselves in the windshield>Careen wildly down the street, desperately trying to regain control>Can't, going too fast>See a group of stormtroopers trying to push a van>Can't avoid them>Slam on the horn as hard as I can>Ominous bars of pipe organ music reverberate down the street>They dive>metalcrunching.vox>As I uncurl myself from the crash position, hear Eldar jabbering and see the wisps of gas begin to rise around the hearse>This is why you don't interrupt the driver while she's ranting
>>58545804>My life is an illusion, and I am already dead>BUT BY THE GOD EMPEROR, WHAT A WONDERFUL ILLUSION IT ISmein gott, meine seiten
>Be me, Oswald "the última luz" Helldreks.>That's right. THE Oswald fucking Helldreks!>Be the one thing that this shitty ass, former ice world had going for it.>Blood.>More specifically, be a Blood Bowl player for the "Cold Shoulder Crystals Sniffers">Sorry. FORMER crystal sniffers>Apparently the old Governor 's daughter. Now the new govenress, changed the name to "The Cold Shoulder Mantled Battlers" as a way of thanking some pussy ass, cape wearing sisters of battle.>FUCKMYLIFE.holo>Fuckthisstupidcapeswerewearing.jpeg>Not important. What's important is this.>Go back about nine months ago, when shit started hitting the fan>Apparently, some guard from God-Emperor knows where, start fighting outside the lone hive city on this planet.>Never did find out what. Who cares, I'm paid to kill other things.>Be on the middle of the mid season play-offs against our rivals, the "Madrid Beach Walkers">I had just scored a gaming tieing touch-down, after breaking the necks of three of our rival players.>Feelsgood.holo>That's when it FUCKING HAPPENS!>Shit starts hitting the fan REAL badly.>I'm talking "Orks start invading, but that's okay, because something else is invadin' and killing everything else.">Times that by whatever comes after seven.>Orks are dropping asteroids on Imperial guard positions. Chaos daemons are skull and anally fucking the former governor and his wife's corpses, on live vox, and the some spike covered, knife earred FAGGOTS! ...Are shooting up the streets, in more ways than one.>What's worse... is that the Daemons, were skull fucking Governor during MY GAME!!! Like WTF!!!>Because of this fucking shit, the game has to be called, and neither team gets to go forward>FUCKLIFE.PNG!>MFW OUR FUCKING ICE STADIUM IS NOW A FUCKING REFUGEE FILLED CRATER!
>Be me, Sister Olga>This planet has finally gotten tolerable.>I mean, it's still a shithole full of filthy hicks playing crusader but now it's also got my boyfriend. >ChadMarine.jpeg>He's such a sweety, and not even these catty bitches are willing to talk shit when he's around. >And the fact that he's a massive and chiseled avatar of war that towers over other space marines doesn't hurt either. >WhenHes8FeetTall.gif>Of course, not everything is perfect. I still get stuck going on bug hunts in the caverns.>Someone around here has to get work down while Terese bangs her harem of widows and the Canoness researches bottles of rosé>Not sure the Canoness can use a Flamer anymore. The way she drinks, if you lit a match too close to her mouth we all might go up in flames. >ItsWineO'ClockSomewhere.mp3>Charlotte at least is getting some work done. Sometimes we end up on Tyranid duty together.>I give her a lot of advice on how to find and KEEP a man.
>>58546024>Still me, the almost our of the job Blood Bowl player. Oswald "The Última luz" Helldreks.>So, with that fucking pussy ass, bitch fight now over and done with. My team and I are brought back to find our once glorious, carved completely from solid ice stadium. Is now nothing more than a charred crater, where our new "arch-bishop", is shoving refugees and bodies.>BITCHBETTERBUILDUSANEWSTADIUM.ANGRYMARINEGIFS>Now the team and I, are forced to play what's being called "Peace ball", by the Governress' husband, our bishop, in some fucking makeshift stadium.>We're now the fucking laughing sticks, of the GALAXY WIDE, BLOOD BOWL LEAGUE!
>Be me, Da Spooky Git>Iz been kookin up a way ta escape dis 'ere 'umie town>Lotsa 'umies iz in 'ere now, and lotsa trukks wiff dem>I, Da Spooky Git, iz gonna take one>LootMeRide.pngrot>Iz movin from roof ta roof>Keepin me eyez peeled>'Ear some ruckus, 'ead ova to get a look>Some Eldar pansee iz mukkin about, othas flyin in da air>PerfectCover.gif>Like a rainbow in da dark, iz leggin it>'Ead fer one o dem depots>'Umies bringin dere trukks in 'ere>Iz where sum o dem blakk an spikey 'umies keep derez>Drop down>Spot me choice>Noice an shiny>Sneekin ova>'Op in>Look te me grot lad>Iz 'opin 'ez ready fer some peddle ta metal!>Start up da trukk>Start singin'"DO YA LIKE! ME TRUKK!">Tires screech, engine WAAAGH!!!>Step on da gas>Lets get outta dis city
>>58545447>be Canoness>really not in the mood today>the Governess knows how to run a local government- apparently paid more attention to her father more than one would expect>but military matters are firmly out of her wheelhouse>which makes them my responsibility>not sure why I ever thought not having full command over the Crusade was a negative>have to manage allocation of Ermine Mantle, Black Sepulchre and Golden Light Sisters>Imperial Fists, Salamanders, Purple Stars, Auric Patricians, Broken Shields, fucking Blood Ravens and now the Red Templars>local PDF yokels from the Bishop's "holy army">Guardsmen who at this point probably couldn't even tell me their actual regiment with any certainty>a few Warhound Titans that would be a gift from the Emperor if they actually fucking followed orders>it'd be enough to make a woman pull her own hair out if it weren't so utterly flawless>meet with this Rogue Trader>as full of himself as any of them, but I'm told he's dependable>here to bring supplies the Administratum should've had to us months ago>thank him honestly and make sure he is paid from the planetary defense budget and not the Order's>at least I have some good news to bring to the strategic meeting>enter the Cathedral conference room>Barbastella looks mildly in her own stoic way that she had to wait>Sister Sara is still covered in dust from her morning undercity raid>would love to see either of them do my job for a week if they think their lives are so difficult>an Ermine Mantle Sister rushes to give me a report just as I sit at the table>Eldar are dicking around below the range of the air-defense guns on those stupid jet-bikes again>of fucking course they are
>>58546156>Be me, Primaris Sergeant, Jaren Artorius.>Just came back from a fight with a bunch of 'Nids, in the undercity.>Personally slew a ravener that was chasing after some guardsmen.>Finally get back after being down there for three days straight.>When I get back, I decide to give sister Olga a call, and ask her if she'd like to do "something tonight".>Decide to leave it incredibly vague during our chat, and simply tell her."Just something I think you'll enjoy, as much as I will.">Strange thing is, is when I said that, she immediately got this strange look to her eyes. As if she were picturing something...>God, I hope she doesn't realize that I want to show her that hill a few kilometers from the city, that's somehow started growing grass and flowers upon its once glass like surface...>Anyways. She takes all but a second and a half, before saying yes.>Before parting, we talk for a few more minutes, and then I place a kiss upon her cheek.>We still haven't "done it" or even kissed for that matter. So that's about as far as I've dared to take our relationship so far.>Her fellow sisters had the strangest look in their eyes, at that exact moment. But I couldn't exactly tell what they were thinking.>Imnolibrarian.jpeg>Anywhom. We plan on heading out tonight around 8'o'clock.>Hopefully she'll enjoy it. I'll probably make some sort of meal, and pack a nice blanket for us to lay upon, and gaze up at the stars from.
>>58545804>I am Phillip, or Phil if you prefer >Watch as our only method of transporting our possibly ethically dubious goods is crippled by a Spiteful Eldar, and then destroyed by what appears to be a very Large and long Pipe organ tank“NO!”>See Fessus running in a panic towards the tank “NO PLEASE! PLEASE BE ALL RIGHT!”>why I had no idea he had empathy withi->He veers off towards the wreckage of the van and starts pulling at the crates“Oh thank goodness! You’re okay. Don’t worry, daddy’s here now. And daddy’s going to make sure you all get to your new homes where you can make daddy a lot of money.”>Of course.>After I Help Decarus up, we all make our way over to the crashed Vehicle.>The Pipe Organ Aesthetic>The Dark, Macabre color scheme.>Why this vehicle must belong to the Order of the Black Sepulcher!>And as the Occupants piled out of the Smoking vehicle, you’ll never guess who I saw>“Sister Maria! Why what luck!” “Oh hello Phil, fancy us running into each other like this!”“Yes, what luck indeed” >”Oh yes hello again Sister Annmarie, I hope it wasn’t too much trouble find a replacement for that chair. Anyways Maria, what brings you and your sisters out here at such a time of Night?”“I could ask the Same of you Phillip, we were just heading out for a night-time purging run, and as you know, We of the Black Sepulcher work best under the cover of Darkness, for what better time is there for our bodies to accept the truth our mind has already long known, and take it’s last breaths when moonlight shines upon us Like a-““Yeah yeah, that’s great Maria, but listen, do you think you could maybe give us a ride back to Guard HQ? We’re kind of in hurry to bring these supplies back to base and you all ride kind of just totaled our ride.”>Geez mind your manners Fessus“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”>Out of the vehicle stumbles a wild eyed Sister with a furious look, and slightly singed hair.(1/2)
>>58546574>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>Canoness is having some sort of Ecclesiarchal meeting at the Matrimonial Cathedral>I can't say I love going there, but that's just because I can get so much more done at home in the mansion. >WorkingFromHome.png>Gather my elite retinue, in full combat gear.>I'm sure nothing will happen at the Cathedral. I just make sure we are all constantly armed and armored to the teeth for appearances. >Load into the Exorcist.>Don't even see why these meetings are necessary, but the Governess says it's important to stay active. >WeCanBeActiveAtHome.lewd>Start hearing on the vox that there is some kind of attack.>I fucking hate Eldar. >Start demanding to know why this hasn't be taken care of on the vox.>I'm a Bishop I shouldn't have to deal with this shit. >I could. I would even. But I think that someone else should handle it.>Immediately.
>>58547071(2/2)“Nyx”“NO! We really an important mission to teach the scum the of this city THE GLORY OF A GOOD DEATH! We do not have time to be playing as the Gaurdsman Schola Bus!”“Nyx please. I can vouch for these Stormtroopers, I fought with them back during the Seige when I had gotten separated. The are a Loyal Hardy and Competant Bunch, and adding them to our numbers would only increase our effectiveness”“While I can’t say much about their competence in good conscience, I can attest to their hardiness, especially of the little one they tried to use as a battering ram.”“Who me? I don’t remember that.”“You were asleep Decarus.”“Absolutely not! We are already too far behind on Showing the Xenos and Heretics THE FUTILITY OF LIFE! Besides even if I wanted to, I could not. MY POOR HEARSE is in no condition to drive either.”>It is at this point that Marcus looks much more interested in the conversation.“So wait, what if we could get your hearse working again? Then would you consider takin us along”“IF you could achieve such an impossible feat, then yes, I would consider letting you and your belongings accompany us.”“Boys...Get me Duct tape and start movin those crates, I got this” Tfw when I had this all typed in my notes but then accidentally deleted it
Move to quest faggot
>>58547431>>58547515>Stop having fun the wrong way!The absolute state of nu-/tg/. Fucknoff same fag.
>I'm (Saint) Brigitte>Get told over the vox that some of those flying-boat Eldar are back>The darn air defenses are supposed to shoot them down but they always get under it somehow>The Avenger planes can't attack them so low either>I can fly, so that's supposed to make it my job>But they're so fast!>I have bird wings, I fly at bird speed>Shoot some holy fire at them>That's really my usual go-to>They're too far away but it seems to scare them off>I hear the vox go off again>Some sneaky Ork is escaping in a stolen vehicle and I need to catch it>I can't be everywhere at once!>I'm a Saint, not a miracle worker
>>58547866>I'm a Saint, not a miracle worker
>>58543429>>58547185>Be me, the Chosens ones Chosen>One of the Commisars, that stoud brave in the battles, I believe the one with the baneblade contacts me>mfw when their might be this alpha legion retards on the planet, these fucks allways cheated while gambling and pretended to a complete different game, also never play chess against them agian>Braceyourself.png>tell him we meet at the cogboys place, take some of our guards with us and tell babe to hop into the car>I will drive>Eurobeatintesifies>Hopefully its not to late, I wil slay mutants, demons and heretics alike, but you need to punch the alphafaggots in the ground before they even think about getting ideas>Get Babe to hop into my car
>>58547291>>58547866>be me, sybarite Drazar>manage to ditch the helmet and my tail>see the venom everyonce in a while>it gave up after a bit>decide to go back to the place I was before>with more caltrops and a Blaster in case they think I forgot about them>zoom over and see big winged Mon'keigh shooting at raiders >idea.reaver>flank around from a distance and low to the ground until I'm behind her and almost directly below >gun the thing and ho fast as fuck towards her>supriseanal.slaves>fire blaster and splinter rifle>immediately pull away >dont see if I hit her or not>don't want to be around in case I didn't >speed away>find the spot I last dropped the caltrops >see bigger mess than before >laugh>drop more caltrops in case they think I forgot >zoom into the same building as before>stay inside this time, but mock them from afar
>>58548119>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>Was just about to go exterminate some Eldar, but bae needs me.>YoureLucky.gif>Yell into the vox some more, then go with my bride. >Says the Commissar has some sort of information.>Still not sure if that guy is warp spawn. Or one of that guy anyway.>Says we're going to see the AdMech. Apparently they aren't trying to exterminate us anymore. >OhOk.jpg>Says something about an Alpha Legion.>Have no idea what that is.>Whatever, can't be as bad as fighting psychotic space marines.
>>58547431Collaborative writefagging isn't quests.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>58548234>Be me, Jaren Artorius, Primaris Sergeant.>On my way to pick up Olga, i get a vox transmission through my helmet.>Apparently, something is going on near my area.>Say I'll go check it out, as much as I know I'll be late.>Fuckthisheresy.emp>Upon arriving at the area, I find a crushed truck, and a shitload of caltrops.>Look up in the sky, to find something is happening.>Something with wings, and two spike covered objects are up in the sky>Oh!itsthelivingsaintfightingoffdarkeldar.jpeg>....>Fuck!>Thankfully, it's still not safe enough in the city for me to be walking around without power armour and a bolter.>Thinking carefully as I make my way towards the battle, I quickly load my call pattern bolter with grenade launcher attachment, with a leak grenade, before making my way up to the roof of a half ruin building.>Fucking Dark Eldar, are going to make me late for my date! I'll make you pay for this!>Once I've reached the roof, I take up position, and quickly choose a target.>A jetbike, or the transport with all the fetish dark Eldar.>Fucking obvious choice.>Wait for the right moment, before firing the Krak grenade at the transport with all the loose looking women.>Olgaisbetterlooking.png
>>58548807The fuck are you rolling for? That shit really will get us moved to qst.
>Be Original Commissar>Me and my future self have managed to get the cogboys HQ though had to use the baneblade to drive there due to Dark Eldar being fucking assholes, again>Moments after arriving was started hearing some weird 2 millennium music that just gets louder and louder as it approaches>It peaks when we hear "GAS GAS GAS" before a Emperor damned Rhino burst through the wall of the building with an deranged looking Governess pops out>I swear she was foaming at the mouth over how royally pissed she looked"You stated you have some recording from a dead Alpha Legionare">"Yes my lady here it is, please be car--">She just grabs it from my hand and then forces some of the cogboys into a room with her>The only thing we can hear is just angry rambles about how the Alpha Legion should learn what proper party game rules are>WTF.schola>It just continued to get more backward with the future version of myself and the Governesses Bishop husbando just starring each other down>It got worse when some of the cogboys noticed the Bishop was more machine then man by this point started chanting "01001111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110101 01110011 00100000 01001111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110101 01110011"
>>58548234>I'm still Brigitte.>Scared those Eldars off>Now to catch that Ork guy>I see the stolen vehicle tearing down the street, heading for one of the gates out of Angels' Landing>I dive for it like the falcons in all the bird videos I watched while training with Sister Sara>I hear an engine noise and something starts hitting me>Look down and see that Eldar on the flying bike>He's shooting one of those needle-guns at me, they just bounce off my aura>I'm not scared of that>Raise my sword to shoot him down>He shoots some weird black-light beam that smacks me straight in the chest>Okay, ow>I tumble in the air>Not really hurt but I lost my balance>My... air balance>It's kind of hard to explain to people who haven't got wings>I fall, but I manage to figure things back out before I hit the ground>That butthole>I missed where he went, but I scan the flat ground outside of the city and don't spot him>I have really good eyes, it's a Living Saint thing>Like... bird eyes>Saints are basically holy bird people, like Sanguinius, I guess the God-Emperor really likes birds>He's got to still be in the city somewhere>I'm gonna find him and give him a piece of my mind
>>58548234>>58548234>Be Decarus>Be standing here trying to guard the hearse while Marcus fixes it.>This is actually the first time i’ve Gotten to meet Miss Maria, since I was in the hospital when everyone else was meeting everyone.>Well actually I did meet her that one time, but I was passed out for it.“Oh my Emperor, you gotta be freaking kidding me! Why is he back here again?!”“Oh come on, hasn’t he done enough damage already? I just wanna get Home already.”“Apparantly not, as he’s dropping even more caltrops.”“Oh for the love of”“Nothing, Probably giggling his little knife ears off.”“Whatever he’s doing do you think you could get him to stop, I’m busy trying to fix shit here”“I’m sorry, but I’m a bit lost here, who is this Xeno?”>”That’s who we were talking about before Ma’am. He’s the Eldar who dropped all these caltrops and started following us around and shooting out our tires.”“Why? Is he after the supplies you’re carrying?>“No I don’t think so. I think he’s just naturally an asshole like all Eldar. It’s like ingrained in their DNA or something.”“How dangerous is he?”>”Not very in my opinion. He hasn’t tried to kill anyone, he’s just being a really annoying.”>Man everyone sure is getting worked up about this guy. >If Only I could do something about this big bully.>But he’s all the way up there, and I’m down here. >And he has some sort of sniper rifle.>He’d either Shoot me or run away by the time I got up there.>hmm>Maybe instead of going up there, I can get him to come down here.>Those walls are awfully weak looking,>“Hey, Miss Maria, do you have any detpacks?“Sure, in the back. Why?”>”No reason”>Now ive just gotta take these and plant these and inconspicuously as possible(1/2)
>>58548949>doot de doo doo don’t mind me, just being inconspicuous by crumbly wall>Diddy dee, totally not planting anything explosive or anything on these weak walls,>I don’t think I’m too good at that whole inconspicuous thing but it’s okay because he seems to be too busy making faces at Lloyd, who’s gettin really angry and jumping up and down and shouting.>Walk away to a safe distance before detonating>Timbeerrrrr.gif>wait isn’t that only with trees?>oh what ever>”It’s okay guys, I solved the Eldar problem”>Everyone just looks completely stunned>”What?”>Suddenly, the Eldar burrows his way of of the rubble>Lloyd gets a really big and evil looking grin on his face“I got this, Marcus gimme your Duct tape for a second.”
>>58548970>be me, sybarite Darzar>be in pain>what the fuck>one second I was laughing at the Mon'keigh>now I buried in rubble>jetbike's probably wrecked >fuuuuuuuuuck>getting harder to breath>thankfully my visage is protected by that cool helmet that reavers wear>man this thing's kick ass>start to dig my way out>starting to regret coming back >not worth>not worth at all>regrets can come when I'm out though>finally get back to the surface>surprisingly I'm not that beat up>stand triumphantly>almost immediately collapse>see Mon'keigh staring at me>well, I'm dead>hello darkness, my old friend>I've come to speak to you again>I'm not high enough for this
>>58548970>Be Decarus>Marcus finally managed to get the Hearse repaired, >Between the Van and the Eldar’s bike he was able to scavenge enough parts to get it working again.>I still don’t see why he needed to take apart some pieces of the Bike though>There’s a bit more smoke than usual but that can be fixed later>Once we’re in, I start feelin kinda bad>”Ehh Guys, do you think we should just leave him all duct-taped in a ball like that? I mean it’s not like he actually tried to kill us or anything”“Absolutely.”>”But there’s all sorts of Nasty things in this place”“He’s an Eldar Warrior he can handle himself, they’re supposed to be good at fighting.”>”But without his guns?”“Well we have to keep it fair don’t we?”>”And all tied up?”“Oh it’ll be fine, He’s a Dark Eldar, he probably enjoys it. Besides, if he ever get’s tired, he can just cut himself out using the caltrops”
>Be me, Gor'Muncha>Be in me new trukk>Iz blakk an spikey, loik dem 'umies>Iz drivin down da road>Could be usin dis toim ta shoot da 'umie>But iz gotta go fast>Fasta>Dem Pansee Eldar will take da attenshun offa me>But Iz gotta git out before dey knowz iz 'ere>Krash outta da city>get drivun>Iz gonna be a bit of a ride>Iz 'opin da boyz will be ready fer krumpin when iz get dere
>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>What the hell is even going on?>How does my wife, who was the sheltered and innocent victim of her corrupt family, know what an Alpha Legion is?>Whose going to tell me what an Alpha Legion is?>What is all this nonsense screeching?>ProbablyHeresy.png>Why is this warp spawn staring me down? And why does no one else have a problem with this?>DefinitelyHeresy.jpg>Why is everything moving so fast? Everything is supposed to be perfect now. >Do Mechanicus Burn?>I know warp spawn do. >ItsGettingHotInHere.mp3>Getting irritated, I'd rather be at home.>Need to get answers but also be suitably diplomatic. I'm not solely in charge anymore, I need to be cordial but firm.SOMEONE is going to tell me what in the Emperor's name is going on or I swear I will burn this place to the ground with all of you in it.
>Be me, Colonel James Arthur of Praetorian guard regiment>been doing piss all for the last few years>needsomethingtodo.voxcast>hear something about 12 way shitshow>what the Dickens.psychicmessage>Top brass generals want us to mobilize cause the conscripts have nothing better to do>commissar thinks this is a good idea>the'regonnadie.moustachetwirl>just pray it's not a repeat of big toof >EmperorProtects.mov
>>58549646>Que "bishop for ants" speech.>Be me, Jaren Artorius, Primaris Sergeant.>Tfw your Krak grenade just blew the Dark Eldar transport, carrying those lewd looking witches, straight in half.>MFW they fell twenty stories, before hitting the ground next to where that Eldar jetbike crashed.>God, I love this gun. Not as much as the autoboltstorm gauntlets, but it's enough.>I lower my rifle onto my pauldron, a proud look upon my face.>I wish Olga had been here to see this.>...>......>........>...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU->I'mfuckinglate!.gif>I quickly made my way down the stairs of the have block, and into the street.>spend the next five minutes at full sprint, running as if an apex predator were chasing me as a child.>Olga isn't going to forgive me for this!>MFW some stupid Eldar have now caused me to be late by half an hour for my date with sister Olga.>Fuck Xenos!
>>58549254>Be Sister Nyx>On the whole, these stormtroopers aren't so bad>Definitely have an appreciation for the small one's mechanical capability>And his use of my det packs>Was saving those for the next nest of bugs, but I feel like the escalation was appropriate>After all, the Eldar did BLOW OUT MY FUCKING TIRES>Should have shot him, but we're behind schedule as is>Nids aren't going to kill themselves, after all>Perhaps we'll show them THE MEANING OF DEATH>Wait>Stormtrooper's are looking at me funny>Maria's giving me a warning look>Did I say that out loud?>Fuck>Okay be cool Nyx, eyes on the road, small talk>"SOOOOO, you boys ready TO PURGE THE NEST OF ABOMINATIONS IN THE EYES OF THE GOD EMPEROR?">...From their expressions I'm not sure they are>Maria is facepalming>Maybe I should just keep my eyes on the road
>be Canoness>storming out of the Matrimonial Cathedral with the Sisters in tow>don't know what's worse>the fact that I've got an "Alpha Legion problem" to worry about>or that fact that our dear Commissar neglected to inform me until after he told those impulsive local government degenerates>idiots, all of them>they're the fucking Alpha Legion>they don't just leave bodies and intel behind>not unless they want you to find them
>>58540952>dead>he's dead>how the fuck is that even possible>well this is a big wrench that got stuck in the training plan>it is recoverable though, this gives us an extra tool in the other plan>commotion coming from tunnel closeby>sounds like some angry imperials>I step back and gesture to the tunnel>"well if he's dead, how do you feel about living and getting some nice revenge? I can make that happen">he looks at me long and hard, then looks down to the tyranid he was skinning, then back to the where the are sounds are coming from, slowly getting closer>"ok">he picks up the tyranid, wanders in the side entrance and I point him down the ladder and tell him to keep walking>quickly close the false door>set the motion detector to blow the explosives once anything gets close>that worked out>commencing mission "frame the bird brains"
>>58550002*false wall mb
>>58549830Don't take this the wrong way mate, but I'm going to ignore this. Story wise the venom and its occupants have fucked off somewhere else, not to mention I'm still going to use them for later shenanigans. Sorry I missed your first thing mate, but reguardless I got plans.
>>58550027Oh, that's no problem. Sorry about that. Just wanted to join in the funGuess I'll say I blew up some other Eldar.
>>58549830yeah, don't just kill other people's characters off please, that's pretty rude
>Be genestealer patriarch>Used to have a pretty good cult going>Keeping low, slowly spreading through the downtrodden and forgotten>Sheer ecstatic joy when hive fleet arrives>Children join the battles filled with joy>Children are all dead.psychicscream>Hive is scattered and broken, connection to hive mind severed.>Back to square one, all work is for naught.> But I'm a determined genestealer.>I'm going to start a new cult, and it's going to be the biggest and best cult ever.>It's going to attract ALL the hive fleets, and the norn queens are going to call me a good boy and take my special genetic code to make replicas because I am best genestealer.>Am now crawling into sewers, awaiting opportunity
>>58549787>Be Colonel>moving shit is taking a long time>fuckingslowidiots.jpg>while waiting for all our supplies, armour and the likes to be prepped for transport read up on this planet>what the fuck>place starts out as nothing and goes to some total war shitshow>time to put a call into high command and see if this a good idea>"Sir reading up on this planet makes it seem like going anywhere near the sector is less than a good idea">"yes I know we have too many conscripts who have no idea how to use a lasgun but this is the worst idea since Montar VII">Ok, we'll go and join up with the imperial forces there but don't expect any miracles out of us">Pray to the Emperor that there won't be any Orks
>Be me>Steel legion somehow gets called to some shithole planet with like 12 fucking factions fighting on it>bytheemperor.pict>Commissar comes in and gives us a briefing>Commissar finishes and by the Emperor's grace no one is shot>Get sent to squad's chimera for a drop>Planet has a breathable atmosphere, why are we here?>mfw
>>58550113>Be genestealer>Be lurking in dark alleys, out of sight>See a man, staggering and drunk.>Perfect target.stalker>Grab the man. In his daze, he is unable to react as I place a big ol' smooch on his lips, darting ovipositor tongue deep within his throat and implanting DNA warping material.>Pull back and watch him writhe, squirm, and vomit.>Coo softly and pet new member of the brood, telling him how much of a good boy he will be, and how he should find a nice girl to settle down with to help expand the family.>Tell him you want grandkids as soon as possible.>Skulk back to sewers>Today was a good day.smile
>>58549922>>58549646>>58548895>be Hakron Geras, alpha legion operator-master of cell ΨΟ >the Sororitas, The local Militarum, Mechanicus and the Ecclesiarchy Representatives have taken the bait of the "recording device" planted on the "alpha legionaire" >literally just some sanctified beserker spraypainted metallic blue>not like they would know the difference>thanks to the "recording device" we have ID'd most important members of each faction on the ground>now to choose a target for operation "blame the bird brains">the Ecclesiarchy reps are technically the ones with the most info, since I myself have played my fair share of board games with those inserted cultists, god they were daft>but they have easily usable forces that can be turned quite quickly, without leadership they would probably disperse>sororitas reps aren't of a high quality threat but their deaths wouldn't make too much of an impact>the militarum is an interesting case, two of the exact same commissar are both leading the same army>that may be a point to keep out for>and the mechanicus, whom I can also use but not kill, since their fervent want of tech can be bent into a valuable weapon>I think a council is in order>call in all available alpha legionaires for a special occassion>a>big>helpful>brainstorming session
>>58550361*are a high priority threatsorry I am making too many spelling mistakes today
>>58550395Just leave them be. We all have typos and correcting them just eats post count.
>>58550002>Be me, Drathor>Be being pushed along by this big blue fether>Going down this ladder>Long ass ladder>WhatAThrill.mp3>Make it to the bottom>Look up at this big blue fether>Figures he wants to keep me around>Wants me to be his 'little'"No">Feth that>I already had a Big>I'm not getting another one>He's a marine, and probably one of those traitor marines>Doesn't matter>I'm not going to be herded along like some sheep>He wants to help me get revenge?>I'll do it myself>FethEmAll.png>He's big>But these tunnels are cramped>Slide into a side passage>Don't give him an explanation>I'm sure he'll get over it>Find some other cultists to help him>I'm doing it my way now.
>Be cultist of the dark gods>patrolling some ruins, executing the "civilians" who worship the false emperor, pissing on Aquilas>hear rumbling>feel rumbling>whatinthenameofthegreatones.jpg>guard chimera is coming down the street>plot an ambush>chimera stops>rageintensifies.khorne>back pops open and a bunch of trench coated fucks walk out>run because there are 10 of them and one of me>trip over rock>get up and look behind me>the last thing I see on this mortal plane is 3 guardsmen pic related
>>58549907>Be Fessus>Actually you know what, don’t be Fessus, being me is just one cruel with no punch line.>This was supposed to be a simple grab and go mission, that’s all>Just a simple heist>alright fine, there I said it, it was a heist, a robbery, a large scale mugging. >But you know what, those guys we stole these crates from we’re thieves anyways. You can’t thieve from thieves. And we’ve been slogging it through the worst shit imaginable for so damn long, that we deserved a nice simple mission where everything would work out, and we’d get something nice for it.>instead We almost get shot by Gangers, get stopped and toyed with by Eldar, and now we’re off with a suicide squad to go fight a Nids without any heavy ordinance.>At least they were nice enough to let me bring these crates along, so I can Be reminded of why we’re all going to die>Oh and these wierd Eldar weapons too that could be sold for a lot money too I bet>Frankly I’m just glad they let me take it on instead of destroying it>Maybe it’ll help us not Die in this obvious deathtrap.>By the Emperor, why can’t anything ever be easy.>The Universe Must Hate me, it must! >Why else would it keep putting me in these situations?>It’s insanity!>What could I have even done to deserve this?>besides the stealing of course>but still, they were thieves so it shouldn’t count!>God-Emprah I never thought I would be missing the Barracks cots so much.
>>58550498>be unhappy operative Mefros>have this khornate guardsman with a big axe and bigger problems underneath>he doesn't seem happy at all with the current turn of events>even though I will literally offer him a chance to murder that bishop who intel suggests killed the "Gut" as this guy knows him>suddenly he stops>turns around>the fucking idiot looks at me and says "no" and bounds off into a little side sewer>I>didn't even get to explain my plan>++mission failed>we'll not get him next time++>well, this trip was almost completely worthless>hopefully the bombs atleast kill one of those roaming squad>atleast I'll be back in time for the brainstorming session>god i'm so sad
>>58550623>Be genestealer>Be scurrying through the sewer>Be happy that I'm working on expanding the brood>See large armored human.>Consider options.>Nope.jpg>Stick to shadows, wait for big human to leave.
>>58550214>Be Colonel>our shitty little regiment of conscripts has arrived on what ever the fuck this planet is called, Cold Shoulder? the fuck>while our shits getting unloaded so we can get something done try to find someone who can tell me why this place looks like it's been on fire>theresnoonearound.vox>How hard is it for there to be guarded zones put together if this place still has shit on it, like there's what looks like Eldar shit here >where are the defenses?>All I see are chimeras and rhinos blazing around at the speed of sound, and some cultist who looks like he was either flattened or kicked in the head, can't tell>time to go for a walk then...
>Be Future Commissar>Continue my stair down of the Cyborg Bishop>Can tell by the look in his eyes that he is about to start some burnings>Probably due to the cogboys that are in the room are by this point molesting the mechanical parts of him and keep doing their binary chants>This is really freaking out the original me and the Bishops guards but nobody has any idea what to do since the Mechanicum pretty much makes all of our shit>Pray to the Emperor something will come to change this predicament>That pray was answered when the Canoness kicked the door open"Commissar do you have any idea about how the Alpha Legion--">It was at that moment that she witnessed our dear Bishop Boy robot getting assulted by the cogboys and heard his waifu making mad ravings about Alpha Legion Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker>She is somehow able to display confusion through her mechanical eyes >"Why don't we take this conversation to another room for know Canoness until the Governess is done with that message">She just nods and we follow her>Dear Emperor this is going to be a rough night
>Be I, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim-Hann>Been walking through the caverns for a bit, air feels damp.>Prys'Ellia leading the way, completely silent>TalkAboutYourDeadEndConversations.png>Cavern walls start to shift, looking a bit more unnatural and clearly carved.>After another bit begin noticing more signs of disturbance, some cracked stones, some strange markings, the works>Finally see the first sign of life on this world, in a discarded tool>I had read the Mon'Keigh used these Pyks to harvest minerals from the earth>SoUncivilized.mp3>Cast it aside, atleast means we're getting close to the surface.>Start seeing mine carts, can see we're on track>GetIt.gif>Finally see light, approaching with some relief>I prefer wide open spaces, like many of my Craftworld>Mine shafts are just not my speed>Come to the exit, feel the temperature dropping, the winds howling>Figure this place was once the center of a mining operation for the Mon'Keigh>Guess they got tired of smacking rocks together>Honestly surprised>Regardless, we're still a ways off from our goal>I can feel the emanations of the lost spirit stones>Better get moving>Exit the mine shaft, stepping outside>El'Vish has left the building everyone.
>>58550776>El'Vish has left the building everyone.YOU FUCKER
>Be Drathor, The Last Crasher>Be honestly a little lost down here in these depths>Not that I ever really knew where I was going in the first place>Left Big Blue, still set on doing things my way>But, since he's showed up, it's got me thinking>Things might be starting to pick up again>I'm not going to miss that chance>Means I got to get top side, and get a feel for the situation, see how things are going.>Which means going up>IfOnlyItWereThatSimple.gif>Just means I need to not only find my way out of a network of tunnels filled with the crons and bugs, not to mention the loyalist imperials>Oh, and also make sure Big Blue doesn't try to 're-acquire' me in a more forceful manner>No worries>I got this>I think....
>>58550704>while walking back to cell-hq I noticed some feet scraping along the parallel tunnel that leads back to the surface>oh gee maybe it's fuckstick mcgee thinking he maybe can't take on the entire imperial forces with only an axe he can't even use right >no instead it's a some mutant who is trying to hide in the dark from a space marine with nightvision>wait a minute>that's a fucking genestealer acoylite>he's got a big fucking head, like they all do>that gives me an idea>didn't even know there were genestealers here, we can use this>ignore the genestealer and pick up speed>if I don't get there soon I'll miss the start of the session
>>58550916(Genestealer is a purestrain about halfway towards being a patriarch)>Big human leaves>Sigh of bug relief.mp3>Now, to look for somebody more important>Can't build up a good cult with just hobos and drunks>Follow your psychic nose.>Sneaking through tunnels.sneak>>58550776>Find a weird thin human with a weird slender robot.>Wait, that's one of those Eldar things.>Hive mind never told me about those.>Wonder what it's doing here.>Wonders if it can be added to brood?>Watch for now, robot is scary
>>58550815>>58550847 so we're genociding that specific craft world next thread, right? You know, when we go on that crusade we've all been talking about.
>>58550991you then do realize that purestrains can fuck up even terminators in melee right?
>>58550733Be Colonel>place has fuck all on it like why did this even become an important system in the first place?> all I can see are ruined Eldar shit and a lot of corpses>iseedeadpeople.jpg>the most troops we have here are what looks like a skeleton pdf, some, by the looks of the burn marks, bolter bitches, and space marines>don't understand why but this place must of had some significance to of had this many troops on it >fuck it, time to go back to finding someone who looks like their in chrage>see governors mansion>might be a good place to start>ontheroadagain.png
>>58551037I do indeed however it is best not to take risks when reward isn't enough. The cult basically lives and dies with the genestealer.Also, I don't want to fuck with other characters too much since this is basically my first line of posts on this thing.
>>58550742>be Canoness>not entirely sure what's going on>fucking Mechanicum weirdos>head outside with the Commissar to wait with the Sisters>of the two of them, I prefer the alternate reality copy>whatever he went through on that other world improved his disposition>consider that I've never apologized to him for hypothetically keeping his timeline from ever existing>fucking time travel, never again>consider also that I'm not actually the least bit sorry about it>doubt it's something he minded much anyway>he gets me up to speed and I chastise him halfheartedly for not informing me first>pretty sure he already learned that lesson without any help
>Be I, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim'Hann>Wind is blowing harder then a Banshee on a rant out here>Even I, clad in the miracle that is Aeldari crafting, am starting to get the chills>Perhaps I should have appropriate a wave serpent or other craft.....>No, it would be best to remain under the radar of the Mon'Keigh>Even their crude brains would be able to see a large, red, floating tank in the middle of a snowstorm>Only just though>LaughsInOldMan.jpeg>Perhaps I can acquire alternate means of travel>Send a thought pulse to Prys'Ellia to halt>Reach out with my spirit into the Great Ocean>See if I can locate something nearby>Ah yes>What's the Mon'Keigh term?>Bingus >Yes that's it>Bingus indeed>See the creature in my mind's eye>So simple and beastial>It is easily convinced that I am it's ally, and worthy aiding>Summon it to my side>Feel the shaking in the snowy earth>Open eyes to spot a colossal, six legged creature>It's hide is shaggy, it's twin tails flicking with playfulness, it's maw, capable of swallowing me whole, open with tongue hanging out>The Mon'Keigh might see this creature and fear it but to I, it is nothing>It ain't nothing but a Hyun Dog>It lowers it head, allowing me to climb aboard it's fluffy back, before it starts trotting off at my command>Prys'Ellia is scooped up in it's jaws, so terrible to behold for all others, conjuring up visions of abominations and monsters>Yet it ain't nothing but a Hyun Dog>And it sure is a friend of mine
>>58549922>>58546292>>58544702>Be Palatine Barbastella>While the Emperor has not yet seen fit to grant me the death I yearn for, he has in his beneficence eased my burden>This has taken the form of a rogue trader delivering much needed supplies to this world, including an excess of bolt rounds, promethium and spare parts>He even guided me when broaching the topic of the allocation of resources and work between the three Orders>I doubt the Canoness would have conceded that she had favoured her own too much if I hadn't caught sight of one of the Ermine Mantle sunbathing on the cathedral roof>All in all, an unusually pleasant day>However such things are fleeting, as mere hours later the Alpha Legion were found to be at large on the planet>And how when I made my way to the motor pool, I found out that my hearse had been stolen by orks>Trust not the illusion of life, my sisters>It will only find new ways to disappoint you
>>58549254>Be me, sybarite Drazar>wake up wrapped in adhesive strips>justlikemygangerdays.nostalgia >quickly realize my situation>oh fuck they left me for dead>without killing me>Try and think up a solution>thoughts interrupted by venom smashing into the ground followed by a rain of kabalites >convenient.splinter>roll over to one of the jagged bits of metal and saw my bonds away>embrace freedom as the adhesive falls away>get up and inspect the wreakage >all the passengers are dead>Steel myself for the coming deed>Begin to respect the dead in the way only Dark Eldar can>by looting them>Find some suitable armor that wasn't beaten to shit and replace it with my own>get a bunch of knives >a neat sword and splinter pistol off the other sybarite>even manage to pull a shadow field out of the mess>fuck if I know what the sybarite was doing with one but I have learned to not ask questions>espesially with this fucking planet>think about grabbing a splinter rifle, but decide that I should travel light given how far I am away from the staging point>briefly think about contacting someone for a pick up>decide against it, succubus might catch wind and come back to finish me off>start the long as fuck walk to the base >hopefully I get their with little to no surprises>knowing this planet? I'll run into a fucking wraith lord.
>Be genestealer>Eldar thing is weird. Too filled with puns. Return back down to underground network of tunnels and sewers and buried roads. Hundreds of years of human development and the burrowing of the hive fleets have left the planet with an extensive underground.>Implanting hobos and tramps with my seed.notlewd>Go check up on first addition to new brood>He is doing just as daddy recommended, and is spending time with every whore in every brothel. Such a good boy.>I deem him Good Boy. I reward Good Boy with a spark of psychic power. His children will quicken faster than normal>Hooray for the bio-powers of the tyranids.psychiccheering>Give Good Boy a pat on the pack and tell him to keep at it.>Good Boy says he is out of money to pay whores>I tell Good Boy that he can take a break in that case. He's earned it. Just make sure to get back to work as soon as possible.
>>58551226>>Yet it ain't nothing but a Hyun Dog>>And it sure is a friend of mineFuck you
>>58551179> Be Colonel>this mansion or whatever the fuck it is looks nice>some sister of battle and two commissars walk out>mightaskthem.pbg>wait why do those commissars look identical?>might be the emperors grace, or mutation >won't bring that up though>walk up to them and wonder what the fuck has happened here for there to be so many people on on backwater system>get brought up to speed, with some dirty looks from the bolter bitch>wutinshitsname.vox>tfw I regret this entire thing for high command entirely>ask if theres anything the Praetorians can do>wait? Pack back up and get ready to leave? >what>kden.jpg
We have a 1d4chan page now. Feel free to make it not shit:https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Stercus_Ludicrum
>>58551357>Be me, Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>Been going around for a bit, down the the depths>Think I'm making progress, atleast the sounds of echoing and distant violence tells me I'm getting closer to the upper levels.>Sisters don't seem to be a quiet bunch>LuckyMe.gif>Marching along when I hear a noise>Axe is in hand, body in motion, swirling around trying to keep momentum>Stop>Oh it's just some dude>Figure it's another cultist or traitor member of the guard>There are a lot of use down here>Never really liked them to be honest>The Bigs were really friendly but didn't try to force us into being zealots>Not like these fething cultists>IThoughtITurnedOnTheBishopToGetOutOfZealotry.png>Feth this guy, I got better things to do>Except...>He's not...>What?>WHAT?!?!?>Fether comes at me, weirdest grin on his face>Can barely see down here, but think he has a knife, made from some of those bug claws>NoteToSelfMakeBugClawKnives.jpeg>He's babbling about something>Keeps trying to welcome me to his family>Bring up the chain axe, and swing hard>Don't even start up it's motor, just crash the fething thing into him like a club>It connects>LetsSeeMichealOfTheMantleDoBetter.gif>He goes down hard>Blood pooling>Take a knee>Hear him still muttering, even if his brains are evacuating his head>"elcometothefamilywelcometothefamilywelcometothefamilywelcometothefam">Bring down my boot>I've heard enough>Scoop up his knife, stash it on my hip>Something is going down>I better keep moving>If this guy has a family, who knows how long before they come looking for him.
>>58551658>Be genestealer>Feel one of the new brood members die>...>...>...>PURE>UNBRIDLED>FUCKING>TYRANID>RAGE>Travel to where brood brother died>goodnight sweet prince.bugtears>Begin to track down the monster that would harm my children so
>>58551715>Be Drathor, The Last Crasher>Be moving through the passages>Trying to keep up a decent pace>Try to pretend all the twists and turns are to throw off potential followers>Totally not because my sense of direction is shit>See a ladder>Guess I'm going up>SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEAAATER.mp3
>>58551437>be Canoness>that's it>that's the last fucking straw>spend months dealing with troop allotments, logistics, deployment schedules>and some limey mustachioed fuck in his pith fucking helmet from some dipshit Guard regiment I had no clue was even on the planet interrupts the Commissar and I to ask what planet is he even on and what's going on around here>just walk away, Konstanzia>it's okay>take a deep breath>remember what the old Canoness taught you>it's not their fault>the Emperor has a greater plan than we can understand>he enlists us to help all his faithful>even the ones whose purpose we can't ourselves fathom>pace around behind the Repressor for a few moments to regain composure
>>58551799>Be genestealer>See child murderer climbing up a ladder>RAGE!>Grasp his leg and pull him off the ladder, throwing him to the ground.>Pounce on him snarling, baring your vicious teeth>A brief pause. To kill him, or to bring him into the brood?
>>58551437>Be Original Commissar>Discussing with Canoness on how to handle the upcoming Cluster fuck when out of no where a Colonel pops up from a foreign regiment>The guy is confused as hell and ask what is the planets importance to warrant such a large scale war effort from just about everybody in the galaxy>Ohboy.vox>Have to explain to the Colonel that it just started with some noble incompetence that devolved from their and the current situation>I can see him losing faith in about anything really as I explain this shitshow>That or it could be fear in his eyes since the Sisters are judging him more then they were me a minute ago, or some combination of both>Anyway the guy ask what he can do>"Well, retrieve more valuable items out in the wasteland and report on any activity you can">The guy then just walks away as quickly as he could while still trying to look professional>Can already tell he regrets coming to this shithole>Kinda wonder if I should make a IG council if more foreign regiments arrive with their colonels
>>58551854>OhFeth.gif>Feel leg grabbed by no doubt the family>Crash into ground>Look up into "Family">This must be mommy>Waiting for it to tear me apart>It's waiting to>It's giving me weird eyes>Is it...>Is it thinking?>What does a bug think about>Realize I don't want to find out>I'm not bug food!>Lash out with knife>Figured if it's made from bug claws, it should be able to pierce bug hide>BugScience.jpeg>Go right for it's joint at the hip>No use hurting this thing if I can't escape after.>Time to scamper>Spot a smaller tunnel>GoodLuckGettingInHereFourArms.png>Dive in, feel the enclosed space of the walls scratching against my axe>Beats being eaten by a bug>Or worse....
>>58551958>Be genestealer.>Ow, waited a bit too long>Wound made with tyranid constructed knife. Hurts, small amount of poison, but I have a high resistance to it. Still stronger, faster, and tougher than the human.>Honestly, I like him. He is strong. His children would be strong. You'll need strength. Good to add strength to the gene pool sooner rather than later.>Human is in a small tunnel.>Human does not seem to realize the flexibility of genestealer frame>fuck yeah, yoga bitch.jpg>Go around, keep scent in mind.>Lurk above where human will emerge.>Pounce as the human emerges, squeezing through.>Knock him down and pin his arms.notkinky>Look into his eyes>See rage. See fear. See strong instinct for survival. All good things.>Plant big sloppy kiss on his snarling mouth. Implant seed.>Release and stalk backwards>Whisper over the forming psychic link"Welcome to the Family son."
>>58552074>last crashed goes from PDF, to chaos, and nids. Holy shit my sympathies for this bastard. Tossed from one faction to the next like it's no ones business, well he'll find some kinship with the nids atleast.
>Be colonel>these people>they're fucking mad>A giant fucking war in the middle of arse knows nowhere>all over some twats incompetence >and to top it all off them sitsters looked like they were gonna murder me especially the one with the orange hair, didn't like he scarf, looked kinda stupid if you asked me>anyway time to go back to the boys and tell high command what's going on and what I have to do here, while getting these conscripts ready for fuck knows what>justhopetheresnoOrks.moustachetwirl>May the Emperor protect me and my bunch of idiots
>>58552074>Be Drathor>Be apparently some Schola Girl at Makeout Point>The alien is making it's intent clear>Try to resist>Try to fight>It's coming in now>Honestly shitting myself>IDon'tKnowYou.gif>Feel it trying to force it's ovipositor into my mouth>FETHFETHFETHFETHFETH>This can't be happening>I'm not going to die like this>I can't die like this...>I WON'T DIE LIKE THIS>ThisIsForYouGut.gif>Bite down hard>Feel strength I didn't know I had>Teeth tear into it's alien flesh>Pull my neck, hear a ripping sound>You wanted a kiss?>Let's see you do it without tongue, goddamn bug>Spit out the ovipositor, mouth filled with alien gore"Now get the FETH OFF OF ME">It pounced to swiftly, to eager>It tried to bite me>Now it can feel the bite of my axe>Gun the engine>Let it's teeth tear into the alien
>>58551854>squad of alpha legionnaires sent out to capture the "pure-strain genestealer" for further important plans>Jesko suggests we'll let it loose in the city, but then I'll just go back to doing its normal routine>Gorhan thinks we're going to reverse engineer it into a patriarch and start our own genestealer cult>sounds good>I personally think we're gonna collect them all and make a happy family, then force them into combat synapses and THEN release them>see movement on auspex by the ladder to the hospital>move in with the stasis bomb primed>see the genestealer crawl out of a really fucking small tunnel>how the fuck did it even fit in there>bleeding from it's mouth>huh that's weird>screeches at us really angrily and pounces up the ladder>luckily I was top of my class at grenade throwing>donk him on the head perfectly>slams on the ground covered in a nice comfy stasis>mission fucking accomplished>we all give 5 fives and start carrying the heavy fuck back to base>lifesgood.plan
>>58552123He isn't done in quite just yet
>>58552194>Be genestealer.>Ow. This boy is a Bad Boy. He damaged ovipositor. That is not nice. That will take time to heal.>Also. OW OW OW OW OW OW OW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!>Now Bad Boy is trying to kill his daddy.>"That's a very bad boy, stop it!" I would yell if I was capable of human speech. Instead I just snarl.>This one has a strong will. Most fall in line and realize how good the family is for them very quickly. This one has much stronger convictions.>Still, the seed is inside him. Barring excruciatingly painful surgery, he will eventually fall in line.>It just might take a few hours.>The bad boy lunges at me with a whirring axe.>Okay, maybe days. Might be best to give him a few days.>Jump back. Flee to the shadows. Take several glancing hits from his axe as you flee. Ow. Bad boy. You'll need to discipline him when he realizes that you are his daddy.>Run away.
>>58552284>>58552270these still work together, right?maybe not?
>>58552270>Be genestealer>Have been just fleeing new addition to family, a very naughty body who bit daddy's tongue in order to let him cool down>Then the big armored human made you stop moving.>What?
>>58552308>>58552309They do, let's just say they've been posted in a weird order.
>>58552309>be me alpha legion apothecary Nerus>yes, we even have an apothecary here>this is probably the 3th biggest cell we have in the entire milky way>get brought a genestealer in stasis>the guy is missing his ovipostor>how does a tyranid even loose an ovipostor but nothing else>alphariusworksinmysteriousways.beta>this genestealer is basically useless to us without that tongue>decide to let him loose beside a hormagaunt we captured last week in our "testing cage">literally just a big hole covered in adamantium that we throw things in and bet on who gets wounded more>maybe he'll use the bioform to make himself a new tongue>tell the squad what's gonna happen, they seem sad but then excited once I tell them about the "test">i'm betting 200 omegabux on that genestealer, he better not let me down
>>58552418>Be genestealer>Wake up next to the hormagaunt.>Use weak psychic field from being a barely patriarch to say "hey".>Hormagaunt says "hey.>Hormagaunts share some common ground with genestealers, but unlike genestealers, they are more horde inclined. They can still operate independently, but not as well.>I tell the hormagaunt I need some of it's biomass>It allows me to to bite some meat off its flank and manipulate it onto my tongue stump.>The specialized tyranid biology recognizes familiar biomass and latches on.>Brand speaking new ovipositor.diy>Observe surroundings.>Covered pit. Covering seems metallic.>Remember that I am in fact, a gene stealer, and my rending claws can tear through ceramite and adamantium.>Remember that outside the covering, there are many large armored humans with large guns.>weighing options while petting hormagaunt.
>>58552523>be apothecary>a few squads of alpha legionnaires are watching the INTENSE battle between the two tyranids>and by intense I mean they are basically cuddling after the genestealer took a nibble out of the hormagaunt>everyone is fucking bored>even the genestealer seems bored with our attempt at making him fight>I however think that he may have recovered his tongue and my personal test may have been a success, but who knows>tell the squad to break the love birds up and to shoot the hormagaunt and throw in that water caste tau we captured last week as a joke
>>58552618(I have to ask how many space marines are there)
>Be me, Sybarite Drazar>walking down a street bored out of my mind>bodies of various factions all over the place>share the sacred Dark Eldar tradition of looting the dead and stash caches all over the place with weapons and other shit>manage to find some good old drugs on a corpse of a trueborn >and a better sword so it's all good>maybe I'all find another jetbike>but life loves to be complicating>and by complicating I mean it seems to have it out for me>dodge 4 different patrols from 4 different factions>one of which was the succubus and friends>hopefully I find something to do later>but until then,>I walk a lonely road>the only road that I have ever known>fuck I need to find a mate or something>a nice female to conquer a slice of the webway with>maybe one of the wyches?>fuck maybe>god I need some social contact
>>58552640like 3 squads of alpha legionnaires, so like 15-20ish normal muhreens, the apoth and probably a lernaean terminator just incase.but you could quite literally just dig yourself out, it's only a hole covered in metal, and as you said genestealers rip through that shit like butter. I actually hoped you'd dig yourself out because I have no idea what to do with you
>>58552689>Be genestealer>Stare at big armored guys>Armored guys stare back>Confusion on both sides.>Kind of just back away and dig into the floor and out of sigh.>About three feet of dirt later into a small tunnel dug by a large swarm of rippers. Crawl away with hormagaunt friend quickly.>Alpha legion wonders why in the warp they just watched and did nothing as a gene stealer dug its way out of their compound. Possibly Tzneetch fuckery.>>58552686>Tyranid friends sense a lonely soul and dig towards it, jumping out of the ground and ready to accept the lonely sybarite into the family.
>be Palatine Sara>in the main shaft elevator to the lower undercity excavations>several other Sisters of the Golden Light in the descending cage checking weapons>Sister Marisol spins the barrels on her rotary stubber in a test>Sister Hannie drops two massive 6-bore cartridges into an old-fashioned shotgun>left the Ermine Mantle and Black Sepulchre Sisters after receiving reports from underground>several troopers in a PDF exploration team were killed by explosives set deep in the tunnels>casualties were light>but Necrons and Tyranids don't use mines>pull Icebreaker from its sheath and look at it as the light grows dim and the lanterns light up>I am the Emperor's justice
>>58552284>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>Be still alive surprisingly>Seems bug fucker didn't like it when it's rape victims fight back>My axe got a few good bites in>Honestly feeling pretty hot right now>No like actually, I'm really hot wtf>Start panting, feel my body's temperature rising>Aching all over, primarily in my chest, where I was shot, and in my mouth, where I was bite>FethI'mSweatingABloodyOceanHere.gif>Have to lean against wall for support>Steady now>Easy>Don't know how long passes by>Feel an urge to vomit, yet also really hungry>Ugh, what the hell was with that bug?>ThisIsWhatHappensWithoutProtection.jpeg>Can't stop now though>Gotta keep going up>Gotta get back to the surface>Look down>See the bit of the bug I bit off>It's still squirming>Bloody xenos>Kinda looks tasty....>.....>I've been down here way to long>Keep on moving, hoping to get above sooner rather then later.>Keep feeling like something is watching me...
>>58552762>Be me, Sybarite Drazar>when I prayed to the gods for social contact, I meant other eldar>not a fucking tyranid>especially not a fucking genestealer>activate shadow field >completely unprepared for the utter blackness>vision clears and is just a light haze>draw good sword and splinter pistol and start shooting at the thing>immediately turn tail and book it >occasionally shoot behind me without looking>hopefully the poison slows the thing down>already looks beat up so it should atleast do something>decide fuck it and call the nearest patrol>with my dumb luck it just so happens to be the succubus and co>she seems exited >but somewhat relieved>turn around and see thing gaining>mustgofaster.helion
>>58552901>Be genestealer>Ow. Seems the Eldar did not want to join the family. Best to go back to the sewers where it's basically just hobos.>Crawl back to the underground.>Psychic network coming together as the infected start to breed with and infect others. It's slow, but special psychic powers can speed gestation and growth substantially for the sake of expediency.>>58552807>While crawling about, see a bunch of strange women dressed like like cowboys.>nope.skitterawayintothedarkness
>>58552762aw what about the tau, was curious what you were gonna do with it, regardless>be me, the apothecary>genestealer digs straight through the metal surrounding the hole>DID_NOT_EXPECT_THAT.alpha>we shoot at it with our bolters but by the time the bullets get there, the gene-fucker is already in the ground, along with the hormagaunt>well, there goes another part of our plan>everyone seems super dissapointed after that, so we just go back down, grab the water-caste tau before he tries to escape through the hole>"come on lets go for a few rounds of "diplomacy" to cheer us up, shall we?"
>>58552973>Be tau water caste>Be scared fucking shitless>"C-C-Can we talk about the greater good?"
>>58552973I would've just infected the tau and it largely would've gone nowhere in all likelihood
>>58552993>"YEAH TELL ME, what is sooo GOOD about the greater good?">"how good can it be if it doesn't even include space marines?"
>>58552993>"and plus">"we know you wet-caste like talking about great goods, but what about yourself, your story?">"don't you want to be a really great good, the greatest good that will ever be?"
>>58553049>"Well, the Empire does not have the technology to produce glorious warriors of your ability, but we'd be happy to have you.">Water Caste relaxes. Brown-nosing it is easy as blueberry pie
>>58553061>"Well, yes, sure. The greater good is of course the greatest good.">Water Caste is confused
>wasting this many posts>be Palatine Sara>didn't even make it to the site where the PDF troopers were killed before finding signs of a struggle>blood splatters>recognize the patterns>someone had a bad run-in with a chainblade>Sister Hannie says the off-colored blood is a Tyranid's>two sets of intermittent tracks in opposite directions, one Guard-issue boots and one digitigrade claws>Sister Marisol asks which one we should follow>idly run fingers over the scar on my throat>choose the boots
>Be Original Commissar>Trying to sleep in baneblade made home (top part is my room while bottom part is future me room) after meeting with Sisters and still waiting for the Governess to call a meeting about the Alpha fags>Continually disturbed by Emperor awful screaming from what ever the fuck is running around the streets in this hell hole>I swear one of the screams sounds like a nid trying to fuck an eldar>Other me gets tired of this bullshit and fires the main canon into the sky to get everything to shut up>Work for about an hour before some other form of fuckery wakes us up for non important shit>Swear to the Emperor I am going to park my mobile home inside the Governesses mansion if this continues>Such is life on this hell hole when everything is not on fire
>>58553076>>58553087>"Good! because we need you to do something very important, for the greatest good">"doing this will make your good even greater than before!">"if you did this for us, you could even become a Por'El, or even a Por'O, if you did it well enough"
>>58553297>Be water caste>Look at self>Look at space marines>Think about possible futures>Think about consequences>"What would you like me to do, mighty space marines?"
>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>Be hungry>Don't know where it's come from, but I have a nagging hankering for something to eat>Whatever, push the thought aside, can eat later, when I get back up top>Body still burning, feels like I'm dealing with the worst flu of my life>Still keep pushing on>AintNoRest.mp3>Atleast I'm making some progress, since I'm actually on a level they bothered to light>Well I mean, flickering, mostly shatter lumens counts right?>TryingToBePositive.gif>Still feel like I'm being watched>Like there's something in the corner of my eye>Until wait...>ALERT.mp3>There is!!!>See a figure coming from the gloom>It's a woman, looking disheveled and holding a pair of tyranid claw knives>DejaVu.png>Except, she isn't rushing me screaming yet>Heft up my axe just in case, but she does something creepier>She starts smiling, and crying>Hear her whisper, almost softly"....brother.....">She's right in front of me, how did she get here>Vision is getting blurry>Hunger is back, but feel something else>As she takes my hand, I fell......nice.....>The start of a smile starts forming on my lips>tfwfinallymeetsomeonewhounderstands.png>She's still smiling, embracing me>Heart beating oh so fast>Can hear her whispering into my ears>With many voices>So nice>So comforting>I could just>It's like I've met my family again>Family...>.....>Anger>Out of nowhere>Chest is burning, heart pumping, blood like molten fury>This isn't real>This isn't genuine>This isn't my family>Hunger is still there, the sense of kinship too, but it's useless>My rage burns hotter then any love could match>Embrace ends>Feel my hands wrap around her throat>Voices, still so soft, protesting, gently trying to coax me back into the family>It doesn't make any difference>Soon enough, they stop too>....>Vision clears>Head pounding>Hands are covered in blood>Look down at what's left of the woman>Decide to keep moving>The fever rises....>I need to get out
>I'm Brigitte>Been patrolling for over an hour now>Special bird eyes caught sight of an incoming Venom with a few Eldars on it>Finally>I'm going to catch that Eldar turd and show him just what I think about people who go around shooting Saints>The Venom slows down and lowers down to the street>I see him, he's running to get on it>And something's chasing him>Some weird kind of Tyranid>Well, I don't like people that shoot me but I like Tyranids a whole lot less>I drop into a dive and raise my sword to burn it with a nice holy fire laser beam
>>58553327>Be genestealer>Sense the actions of the problem child>He's Slipping in and out of it all>I send a portion of my small psychic power towards him in an attempt to pull him further into the family and to compel him to breed. Once he sires a spawn, he'd be fully accepted into the family.>Using most of my psychic energy to attempt to get Drathor to learn to stop worrying and love the Family, I settle down within the sewers to rest and heal.
>>58553314>"very good, very good">"do you want to know something interesting, water-caste?">"do you know waht hypno-indoctrination is?">"because an unknown fact about it is that it works best when the subject is willing">attach multiple wires onto the tau's head and activate the machine underneath his seat>sub-mission lead a fish to water>is officially underway
>>58553383>Be genestealer>See winged glowy human diving toward me with a burning sword.>Panic skitter back underground and do >>58553395Gotta love posts involving you happening while you're writing a post. Also gotta love the 5++ invulnerable save genestealers get. Dodge the holy lasers!
>>58553435>Be water caste>Be nervous, but cowardly and ready to do pretty much anything to save my own life>Sit perfectly still as space marines put wires on my head, like when a doctor gives you your shots>Bzzrt
>>58553441That wasn't what was happening in that post, and you can always update the thread before you post without losing your progress, or delete and re-submit any post you make.
I don't mean to impose, but can we keep to a minimum length for posts for quality's sake? It's collective writing, not RPing. Write some stuff.
>>58553545I shall endeavor to do so in the future
>>58553383>Be me, Sybarite Drazar>currently running for dear life>Tyranid hot on my heels>shadow field makes it jump at...>well shadows>see venom overhead>safe from nids, but still have to deal with succubus and Co.>hear flapping of wings>scourges? No too large >but what else has wings on thi->laser beam cuts from the sky and scorches the ground>oh>oh no>it's back>increase speed towards venom>wyches yelling for me to hurry>I fucking am you cunts>jump onto my savior"GOGOGOGOGOGO">the driver slams the throttle>...>but nothing happens>he tries again>nothing>Mon'keigh scourge is bearing down on us>remember the lessons I was taught in Kalabite Klass>"If you and your squad face a foe you are unable to take down, with no sign of reinforcements inbound, and no better options, the best thing you can do is-""SCATTER!">driver bails>wyches are already gone>succubus is running to cover>I'm moving >but I'm bum fuck tired thanks to the genestealer>hop out of the useless transport sluggishly >pray to the laughing god that he takes some mercy on my soul>if I make it though this I'm running off and joining the circus
>be Palatine Sara>following the boot tracks>we're not far behind but it's slow going>the tunnel floors don't make for consistent footprints>keep coming to sections with hard floors or wooden walkways and having to backtrack to find where the trail continues>the tracks themselves are erratic>see where he pushed up against a wall to steady himself>injured?>there's no blood anywhere>turn a corner>there's a body there, crumpled to the floor>a woman>strangled, to say the least>signs of a struggle, but not as much as one would expect>Sister Hannie examines the body>she jumps back suddenly, says something abrupt about Genestealers>she and Sister Marisol want to stay, to check for hidden tunnels>I tell them that we can call the Guard and the PDF to sweep the passageway>they insist>if there's an infestation here, it takes priority>I pause, look back at the trail, set my hand on the hilt of Icebreaker>I tell them to stay and warn the Sisters on the surface while I follow the trail on my own
>>58553466>be me operator-master of the alpha legion>my name is Geras, Harkon Geras>had to scrap a whole bunch of plans but we've had a pretty productive day>brainstorming session went well, we've decided rather than to assassinate a representative, we will instead get a fleet of tau to assault the world in order to cause a solid distraction instead>using this water caste diplomat we kidnapped a while back in the first invasion, we'll give him directives to send a huge fleet on the premise that this world is quite amicable towards the tau and only the guard on the planet is holding them back>we have a Kir'la ship that we'll send out towards tau space with this water caste boy aboard and his big to-do list>once he's back, he will instantly start gaining traction for himself, ranking himself up and keeping himself safe, so he can give us some nice opportunities in the future>and the clincher is he won't even remember any of this happened, only that he was being shot by the guard on his way out and the fire warriors held them off long enough to allow him to escape>what heroes /faint/>regardless, this plan should definitely work and will definitely not fail, like the other 15 attempts to distract everyone on this planet at once
>Be me, Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>Be Hungry>Be Angry>Be Horny>WhyBoner.gif>Most of all tired>Still aching>Just>Come into a larger chamber>Lots of pillars about>Clearly a sub level in an underground transport station>Heh, I think I used to take this tram before the war started>Stumble over towards pillar, lean up against it>Look up towards stairs>Almost there>Can feel a breeze coming>Just>Need to focus, need to push on further>But first a break>A little break.....
>Be Planetary Governess, Former Cultist>Remember how my dad told the story how our cult was started here by a "Minor Slaaneshi Warband" named "The Ternary Wyrmes" who from time to time would bring gifts or inspired us to intrigue against or for certain persons>"Allways speaking about The Pleasures of Perfection in Planning">Everybody bought that, Just thought they were some Scalies, but hey each slaaneshi its own right?>Atleast I thought that>I may be a bit dumb somtimes and love getting handholded silly by babe, but there might by something greater going on>Try to explain this to folks, of course I tell it a way, that I still where a poor victim of my father>Liesarebadmkay.png>I really should pray more often or spill more blood of his enemies, to make he Emperor happy with me>Also some of this nobler guard folks is here, guy looks competent so far, but his dialect is a bit weird
>>58553545>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>These Mechanicus are stroking my arm with the same vigorous dedication the Governess displays when stroking my hair to calm me down>StrangerDanger.gif>The Governess relays another story of the horrors and hardships she had to face under the wicked rule of her father.>The fact that my angel was able to maintain her innocence and dedication to the Emperor under what must have been terrifying experiences for her is amazing.>It could only be through the grace of the Emperor that she was shielded from what must have been a home dominated by drug fueled orgies.>IBelieveInMiracles.voxcast>We head outside and the details of what an Alpha Legion is and their plot are relayed.>The whole thing sounds vaguely unbelievable to me. Accuse me of heresy? I'd just accuse THEM of heresy. >IAmTheLaw.chosenone>But, the whole thing sounds pretty easy to solve to me. >Marine chapters should be notified and encouraged to stay outside the cities. It's not like some 7 foot monster can just sneak around amongst us unnoticed. Marines stand out. >Notify our respective organizations of the threat. >And we just agree to stick together in the face of any outside accusations. Unless they're made against the Future Commissar of course.>ISeeYouDaemon.warp>End my speech by splashing the Future Commissar with holy water.>His survival does not prove his innocence. >>58554747[Spoiler]This. It's the consequence of people trying to interact directly on a fixed timeline. Our posts shouldn't be part of an actual conversation between each other or some sort of round by round interaction.
Following these threads have been a joy.
>>58550533>Be Fessus>”Woooooohooohoo Yeaaah! How donlike me now”>So it turns out that this Weird Eldar gun is really damn good,>It just goes through anything and fucks up what’s inside>Big Nids, Small Nids, armored Nids, naked Nids, it don’t matter>They all get vaporized>Man you know, I thought clearing out this Nid Hive was going to be a pain in the ass>But thanks to the present from our little knife eared friend, it was as easy as Pie>Of course the damn thing did run out of ammo eventually, but at that point I could throw it back into the hearse and jump in to help clear things up with the others>Between the Hotshots the Chain rapiers and whatever else, the survivors went down easy as pie>Some of the Sisters had sullen looks about it on the ride back but whatever, they can’t deny how effective it was.>We didn’t lose a single man or woman>Although actually that may be what they're all upset about, always talking about Death and the like>Whatever, if they wanna become martyrs , they can do so on their own time, but while I’m around, we’re gonna fight smarter, not harder.>I mean we’re still gonna fight hard, but fighting smart is the priority.>Anyways, the Goth girls hold up their end of the deal and agree to deliver us back to camp>specifically the side door of Shed 17>by the time we get back to base it’s already daytime>don’t have to worry about sneaking in though, because any guard who knows what’s good for him knows that you don’t Grill Sisters of battle>When we get back and get everything unloaded we thank them, and reccomend they get their hearse a proper repair>I don’t envy being the one who has to talk to the techpriest’s after Marcus’s “repairs”, especially the fact that it works almost as good as their’s, but it ought to be done.>Anyways once we get everything insidec we crack open the crates and find... a bunch of Blood Raven themed Guard equipment>The punchline to this awful joke of a night.
>Be me, The Best Seneschal in the Ecclesiarchy>And this all sounds very bad for business.>Well, the part about the Alpha Legion sounds bad for business.>The part about the Governor's Whore of a Daughter being an innocent servant of the Emperor.>I actually can't help but laugh as she relays a very sanitized version of events to the little dope.>IJustThoughtOfSomethingFunny.gif>I wonder what the little maniac is going to do if he ever finds out the truth.>Someone should really try to get that flamer away from him at some point. >If only to prevent collateral damage. >The planet is still have charred from his first little tantrum... errr Holy Crusade>WhateverYouSay.png>Anyway, if we want to keep making money here this scheme can't be allowed to happen.>Suggest limiting salvage rights and Rogue Trader access to those I can personally vouch for. >Wouldn't want some guy working with the Alpha Legion doing business on this planet. >Especially because I stand to make way more if I can limit access.
>>58556610>Be Sister Maria.>We're riding back to the cathedral's motor pool after a successful night's purging.>In no small part because of the serendipitous assistance provided by a few friends.>Some of my sisters are upset that our reinforcements increased our chances of success, denying them the death they crave.>I remind them that the Emperor's will determines when we join Him in the void, and that it's clearly His will that we fight for Him another day.>They are mollified, for now.>My only concern is over the Xenos weapon the good sergeant put to good use in flushing out the last nest.>He insisted on taking it with him, even when we told him it'd be no trouble for us to have it destroyed.>I have no doubts as to his loyalty to Him-On-Terra, but I fear others may take it as a sign of heretical inclinations.>I would truly hate to have to purge them over it; it would be a most undignified end.>But perhaps I'm worrying about them too much.>I'm sure the Emperor will guide them to the righteous deaths they deserve.
>Be steel legionnaire>hear about genestealer infestation>whatinthethroneisthat.jpg>ask commissar>not shot immediately, and he says their xenos>should be easy to find>squad is deployed to some xenos hideout>not genestealers, but eldar>look almost exactly like they do in the primer >notwhatIexpected.png>chimera open up on some weird bony looking robot>it fucking explodes>we make short work of the small eldar camp>I even get a souvenir>take one of those red stones from a dead xenos>go back to fob>day is good
>Be genestealeer>Be now well rested and healed of all wounds>Axe wounds from bad boy(Drathor) have scarred>Scars are rather distinctive>Hmm.........>I named myself Scar the genestealer>Be Scar.>I check up on the brood brothers and sisters.>They have spread quite prolifically. There are now close to 100 carrying the genestealer infection>Doing the Hivemind's work.pride>Because of warp powers and mutation, the mothers of the first generation appear to be three months pregnant even though it's been like, a day.>Wow, that is sure convenient>Hope it doesn't do something bad to the babies.concern>Time to look a little higher.>I send out a psychic message to the both the brood brothers good at fighting(Except the problem child of course, he still resists the Family) and the sexiest brood brothers.>Sexiest brood brothers put on the sluttiest clothing they can find and begin operation "Brood Bros are Hos">Genestealer pimp.png>Take the strongest brood brothers to go ambush a patrol of the local PDF/Astra Militarum regiment.
>Be Marcus>Be napping behind the shed>The good thing about not technically bein a part of the Guard and not gettin payed, is that no one keeps track of where your are because you’re not technically even supposed to be there, and you can slack off all you want>I usually feel kinda bad about slacking off but, fuck it, the Guard boys can handle themselves for a little while, and quite frankly, we deserve a little rest after the busy night we’ve had>I swear Fessus was a about to blow a gasket when we saw that we had risked our lives and freedom for a bunch of crates Blood Raven colored Guardsman equipment.>Well at least Phil was wrong about it being sinister>Fess probably would have gotten the attention of the whole damn camp if I hadn’t point blunted out we still had the weird Eldar rifles,>Those things always sell for a pretty penny>There’s always some edgy ganger or ‘quistor Who thinks he’s hot shit and wants to carry around edgy heretical Xenotech they don’t know how to use like a special little snowflake>Or some screwy toaster molester who think’s they’ll be the one to crack the Xenotech code save the Imperium and become Big, Damn, Rich and famous Heroes>Those sorts of Yahoos always pay top dollar for this shit. >Seth oughta be able to find a buyer no sweat>just waitin on payday>Still kinda worried about the boxes though>Why would Gangers be stealing Guard equipment and repainting Them with Magpie colors?>What the bloody hell could they possibly do with it, charge the Blood Raven fanclub exorbitant prices for it?>Fuck it, This sort of question is above my pay-grade, which is currently nothing. We’ll call commander Morgensen later and tell him about it. >In any case he should appreciate the gift.>Right now though, i’ve Still got. A few more hours of sleep to catch up on.
>>58553782>Be tau water caste>Be on ship>How did I get on this ship?>Last thing I remember is being shot at by various humans>My head hurts.>Why was I even on that damn planet?>Oh right, to check if they would accept the greater good.>They seemed pretty amicable to it actually.>Only the planetary defense forces were against it, brainwashed to their creed as they were.>Wait... is that right? My head hurts>Yes, that must be right.>I got on this ship after fleeing the planet's soldiers.>Escort is dead, and I need to get back to the Empire>Tell them to send a big fleet>We need to wipe out all the guardsmen there. Then the people will accept the greater good.>This is very important because... Ow, my head hurts.>Stil, very important. Must be some very important value to that planet that I can't think of at the moment.>Anyways, on to the empire!
>be me, Primaris Captain Marek Avalon, Second Company Captain for the Broken Shields chapter of space marines.>Have to take a Repulsor transport to the Governess' palace, as there is apparently something going on, that I need to be informed about.>In person...>Betterbeimportant.voxcast>Arrive there, along side my company apothecary, Chaplin, both librarians, and a squad of Intersessors.>All of whom are primaris marines.>We upgraded. Sue us.>Bishop, Governess, canoness of the ermine mantle, and both the original, and a future version of the Commissar who led the defense of this world.>APPARENTLY! Someone bought the farm, and forgot to mention that there still Alpha legionaries on planet!>And they're fucking shit up in ways we don't yet understand.>CHAOS!!!!.Vox>Have a bad taste in my mouth from this.>Chaos, is of course, my chapter's greatest enemy.>It caused the codex to be created, and the legions to be split into chapters>We HATE the codex...>Ergo, we despise chaos with all our hearts. Especially when you remember that those traitor scum attacked our chapter world during the Horus heresy.>Want to immediately throw both the Commissar's out the window, snap the Governess' neck, and break the spine of bishop, for letting this information slip past them.>Canoness is alright.>Offer the use of my entire company of two-hundred and fifty marines, to purge these vile scum and put a stop to their scheming.>Imgonnaneedextraboltersforthisheresy.png
>>58557719>Be Scar the genetealer>Be sneaking about with strongest boys and girls of the brood while the other boys and girls of the brood are about spreading the love for fun and profit.>Be crawling through tunnels and climbing over buildings, keeping to darkness and cover.>Spot a squad of drunk soldiers. Maybe PDF, maybe guardsmen. Who honestly knows the difference at this point.>We descend upon them. The broodlings restrain them, and one by one I make them stare into my hypnotic eyes before I implant the seed within them>creepy alien.justmisunderstood>Return to the shadows as the soldiers stumble to their feet>Teehee, they can't remember that encounter at all>Gotta remember the hypnosis thing. It makes all this so much easier>Crawl away as guardsmen decide they kind of just collectively fell over and get back to their off duty shenanigans, hoping to get as much in before they have to get back to work
>be me, Oswald "The Última luz" Helldreks, Blood Bowl player>Been spending the last four days "playing" blood bowl - sorry! "Peace ball", with some of the refugees, because "the bishop is paying you too!".>Fuck my coach! I didn't sign up for this shit!>>Instead of being on the field, killing assholes from other teams, I'm here teaching kids how to play a shittier version of blood bowl.>Everyone is covered in so much fucking bubble wrap, that everytime they fall to the ground, they bounce right on their feet!>Fuckthisshit.vox>The worst part is, is he's using the vox network to stream these "games" to the population for "morale boosts".>Fuck morale! I haven't gotten to kill anybody in almost six months!>The only upside, is I'm getting paid 10000 thrones per "match". Most of which end after five minutes, after some kid starts crying because he got pushed down.>Man up, fuckers! You live in a tent, in a shitty hole in the ground, that used to be my team's once glorious looking, ice blood bowl stadium!>Swear if I ever see that bishop, I'm gonna break his neck.
>Be I, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim-Hann>Be riding along atop my faithful Hyun Dog>The tundra around me is pretty boring, just snow, snow and, you guessed it, more snow>NoWonderMonKeighCallThisWorldColdShoulder.gif>However, I can feel the approach of my destination, and that's got me excited>Send a pulse of thought to the Hyun Dog to alter our course and home in on the location>Keep going for bit, then halt>Now we start digging>WhereAreSomeSquatsWhenYouNeedEm.gif>Hyun dog begins digging down into the snow>Prys'Ellia stands up and keeps watch>I remain comfy in my seat of fluff and warmth while all this is going on>PerfectTeamWork.jpeg>Hear a clang from below, pulse a thought to my loyal pet to stop>Hop down, look into the hole>OhAsuryanGrantThemMercy.gif>See the wraithknight>It's been here for a while>Lost in battle, it came crashing down into the earth, and with this planet's weather, was buried>Don't know how long it's been here, doesn't matter now>Slide down into the hole, hands moving in a series of symbols I could explain, but I doubt your Mon'Keigh brains would understand>Spot what I'm searching for>Within the shattered cockpit of this war machine, lays one of my kin>OnlyMostlyDead.mp3>See the twin pulsating stones that lay behind him, worked into the construct>Gently pry them free, and connect with their thoughts>Time to recover them>Return up top, have Hyun dog bury the Wraithknight, we can recover it later, or it will break down, doesn't matter>Take the twin spirit stones, and place them upon Prys'Ellia's wraithguard frame, for safe keeping>We found two>Need to get more>Can only imagine it's going to get harder from here.
>>58559355>Be Etheral>Be lording over some supplicant tau of the lesser castes>Living the good life.probablymindcontrol>Suddenly this water caste comes in>Why do we even still have these guys, diplomacy rarely works on humans these days>Well, at least not diplomacy with words>various "sexy" tau.jpg>Says there's this planet we need to go to>Easy grab for the empire he says>Look at the reports>This damn planet has been fought over for no reason by literally everybody. We even sent a few guys and gals there, but they got blown up>Look at the water caste like>"Why would we even want this?">He says that there's a bunch of important stuff, why would they fight over it if it was just a worthless rock>Kind of got to concede the point to him on that>Why would rational thinking beings fight over a worthless rock like that?>Ring up the fire caste guys under my command>"Yo, Shas'O! There's this planet. Go clear it of hostiles!">Of course he agrees. Or maybe she? Not sure, never bothered to check. Water Caste chicks are much better, they gotta know what the other species like, and boy howdy, do the other species like some good shit.>Oh yeah, water caste guy is still here>I tell him to head on back to that planet before the fire caste get there>See if there's any female leaders on that planet willing to hit his wrinkly blue ass>Water Caste seems confused>I sigh and tell him to do the more "intimate arts" of diplomacy>Idiot doesn't seem to get it>"Go out and fuck some aliens bitches for the glory of the ethereals." I say>Oooooh.mp3>Idiot scampers off>I go back to the hot blueberries I've picked from all the different castes>Living the good life.wrinkly blue smile
>be me, Medeth Absinthium, cultist of Slaanesh>well, possibly a high priestess or some shit now, I seem to recall a lot of the senior members getting purged>last I remember clearly was having an orgy with the governor's whore of a daughter and a whole bunch of other nobles and bigwigs on some ice planet>wake up with a daemonette screaming bloody murder inside my aching skull>as if the hangover wasn't already bad enough>stagger to my feet while waiting for the daemonette to start making some sense>apparently I'm in some kind of ruined house, surrounded by rotting corpses>most of them are weeks dead at least>a couple of them look like some of the guys I was partying with>why can I never remember the best parties>oh, and apparently I'm on some other planet now>at least, I'm pretty sure there should be a lot more snow outside the window>I start being able to make out some of what the screaming in my head is about>apparently those order of the bitching scarf sisters are on this planet as well, and I'm supposed to corrupt them>fuckmylife.tentacles>grab some passable clothes and stagger out of the ruin>first things first, I need to score some drugs
>be Canoness>smoke a lho-stick nice and slow>avoid a breakdown>more precisely, avoid burning some Imperial servants alive>long overdue for some stress relief>wonder if the mirror Commissars would be up for sharing someone between them>decide against it>they're probably too pussy>get an emergency vox transmission>Sisters of the Golden Light uncovered evidence of Genestealer infestation>hey, of course, why the fuck not>Alpha Legion was a lay-up, we need more than that going on or we'll all get bored>tell the Commissars>tell them to tell the Governess>start issuing orders to the Sisters and to the Guard>full deployment>everyone is getting screened>everyone
>Be Future Commissar>After a long night of getting no sleep me and the original version of myself were summoned to a meeting by the Governess>It was probably the only normal experience I had in a while up until the part where some of those huge ass Chadmarines arrived and started getting livid when they heard about the Alpha Legion>I swear he was planning on throwing me out the window for missing the fact the Alpha Legion was here>Decided not to inform him about the fact everybody was here at one point which makes it hard to distinguish who you are shooting at>It only went downhill from their when I was informed by the original me that the Canoness was looking at us with what can be described as desire>Was hoping that out of all of them the Canoness wouldn't be the one with the weird interest but start thinking she might be into some weird twin thing>Would say heresy but given her status and the fact she was the one to bail me out from the ex Governors plans just conclude its a weird interest>Do take not to avoid canoness or at the very least one of us finds a different waifu so canoness will only try to seduce one of us>Meeting ends with Cyborg Bishop throwing Holy Water at me>Could see the surprise in his eyes when I just stood their mildly annoyed about my jacket getting wet>Then the moment I got back to my baneblade turned home we get informed that there are genestealers on the planet>Start organizing every guard on the planet and recall all the Cold Shoulder regiments back home to help contain the newest annoyance>Only went further down hill when a Tau diplomat arrive to serenade the female authority figures>Could already tell the Bishop is probably going to go on a rampage due to somebody trying to steal his waifu>Canoness will probably do something worse give her current stress level and a xeno trying to woe her>Thingsareabouttogetinteresting.schola
>Be Scar the genestealer>Be scurrying about the underground, ordering brood brothers to do their things.>Check up on brood brother and sister prostitution racket. It's going well.>Proud.pimping>Receive psychic alert.>GRANDCHILDREN!!!>Scurry along toward underground hovel.>Inside two of the children are there. One is female and currently going into labor>Psychic powers have accelerated gestation to a truly astounding speed.>Seriously, this chick was impregnated yesterday.>babies.zoom>Birth is finished>It's a beautiful baby gene stealer hybrid. It already has little teeth and a bulbous head and razor sharp claw at the end of one of it's three arms>Dawwww.happygrandparent
>>58553803>be Palatine Sara>the Tyranid passage ends with an exit through the cement into the abandoned transit tunnels>he's heading to the surface>the floor is concrete>wave the lantern around, looking for disturbed dust>nothing>no tracks>he's going to get away>break into a run>see the transit station>the stairs leading to the surface>damn>finding him in the city will be a hell of a lot more difficult>take a running jump onto the platform>and... there he is>the feared traitor with armor made from butchered Tyranids>sitting propped against one of the pillars>chain-axe on the ground>a small pool of odd-colored vomit next to him>how fucking pitiful>the Emperor's justice even to the most vile of traitors should come from the barrel of a gun, not some awful gene transfer poison>stoop down near him to look him in the eyes, well out of reach>keep one hand on the butt of one of my guns>draw Icebreaker and hold it up to the light so he can read the incising on the blade>"This belong to you?"
>>58562418>Be confused>Feel the hunger, it's all around me>It wants to consume, consume everything>Why>Why does it want me?>I don't remember >Hunger all around, like a black tide>Only afloat because of another thing>Anger, pure and hot>What is even happening>Hear noises>Eyes open>Be Drathor>Be awake now>Tide is gone>Anger is dulled>Whatever was watching me, it's attention is elsewhere for the time being>Vision is blurry>See faint shapes all around me>Starts to clear, and they fade away>All but one>See the sister>Looks like something out of an old pict-vid I saw as a kid>Look into her eyes>She's....>She's very....>MMMMMM.mp3>Feel the drive again>She'd make a good mother....>Just need to move quick enough>Then I see the knife>Cuts through the haze of lust>GetItHahaha.gif>That's my knife...>Why's this chick have my knife?>She's asking me something>Hand on her gun>Hand on Icebreaker>That's not her knife>That was never supposed to be her knife>Anger burns>Hard to breath, but I'm not done in just yet>Spit at her"Yeah.">Fingers inching towards axe>Probably can't get it up in time, but doesn't mean I won't try when she decides to stop talking.>I'm still The Last Crasher, atleast for now>Crashers don't just quit
>Be tau water caste>Just returned to this awful planet on order of ethereal>Why did he do this to me?>Why did he forget to give me an escort?>Manage to crash ship into pile of rubble because I can barely fly a ship, let along land it.>There are a lot of piles of rubble on this planet>Maybe I was supposed to pick up an escort?>Head hurts. This planet makes my head hurt. Or maybe it's the crash?>Currently, only the mission remains. Go do lewd things with any female human leaders that can be found.>For some reason.>Seriously, why am I doing this?>Oh, right: an ethereal told me to do it>I bet Farsight Enclave guys don't have to deal with this.despair>Stumble out of the wreckage and wander around the ruins>This planet is mostly ruins and piles of rubble except for that big cathedral>That's probably where anybody with power is.>With a weary sigh, I make my way towards it.>They're going to shoot me on sight, aren't they?>Damn loyalty to the ethereals and the greater good>>58561985>See a woman with bionic eyes smoking one of those lho-stick things. She has a big fancy scarf-thing.>She also has a big gun and is wearing power armor.>But it's my duty.imgoing to die>"Greetings from the Tau Empire! Would you like to hear about the greater good?">mfw I'm about to die
>>58559822>Be guardsman>Be feeling weird>Was out with friends drinking last night>Then... I don't know.>Passed out, now I feel weird>Sergeant is looking at me funny. She thinks I'm off today or something.>It feels like there's more out there. Feeling hot.>One of my friends went missing. Nobody knows where he went. I miss him.>Dear Emperor... feeling weird. Feeing hot. Need to find relief.>Everything's confusing.>I stumble out of the barracks, sergeant yelling after me>Desertion? What's that? I'm just...>What am I doing?>Why am I drooling so much.>Why is the sergeant beating me so much?>Oh right, disobeying orders.>Luckily my friends pull the sergeant back and pin him to the floor.>Sarge just needs to calm down.>Sarge spits and struggles and screams and snarls. Says we'll be executed for insubordination.>My friends drag her back inside and I lock the door behind us.>I know why things have been feeling off now!>I had forgotten about the Family!>Feeling dumb now. Daddy's going to be so proud of al of us
>>58562578>be Sara>this pathetic thing>sitting in a puddle of his own vomit, and still trying to fight me>I can respect that>stand back up and watch his hand reach slowly for his axe>as if I couldn't put a dozen holes in him from here before he even got up>doubt he could even lift it in this condition anyway>the willpower to make it this long is admirable, but fighting the infection is making it worse on his body>he's looking at me with a strange kind of interest rather than the anger I expected>like he isn't sure if he wants to devour me or tear my clothes off>guess that's how it's supposed to work>shift my hips back and forth and watch his eyes follow them>maybe it will make him a little more amenable>"I might be able to ease what ails you. But first I wanna hear everything you know about the Alpha Legion."
>Be Steel Legionnaire>weird eldar rock thing is glowing>sarge and commissar haven't noticed yet>can't help but feel i'm being watched ever since the rock started to glow>i just hope it's not a bomb
>>58563853>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>Be annoyed>Grip the haft of my axe>Atleast I still have you>This chick is asking me about something>WhatTheFethIsAnAlphaLegion.gif>I'm just some guy who got wrapped up in that bloody bishop's stupid war>I manage a shrug>Breathing is steadying >Still feeling watched, but it's seems distracted for now>That's good>Lets me think>Rasp out"I don't know what the feth you're talking about.">Feel the hunger growing again>Better make this quick...
>Be Lloyd>So me an the Boys just had to undergo a through examination by the docs.>Apparantly, since the higher ups got word that the Genestealers are more active, everyone at the base got rounded up for a surprise screening. >they actually caught a few poor bastards who had gotten themselves infected and put ‘em down>Although there’s no telling how many of the Bugfuckers bugged off before they could get captured.>Ugh Genestealers, Hate ‘em>Screw them and their voraphillac bullshit>not literally though, eww>Well Anyways, Since the boys and I weren’t present for all that bullshit, we were all obviously clean>although one a the docs wanted to keep Marcus around and study just how the fuck his liver was still functioning.>So I’m here, just walking around Base when I see this guy>Wearing Blood Raven Themed armor>WTF!>So I goes over there and drag this joker off to give him a piece of my mind>I mean, yeah that stuff didn’t belong to us, and yeah we didn’t really want it anyways, >But you can’t just go helping yourself people’s stuff without askin!>He doesn’t even have the sense to look sorry while i’m Chewing him out!>The whole time, he’s just goin on about he doesn’t know what I’m talking about, and how he just got here, and how he doesn’t know where he got the armor>And he keeps faking these headaches too like he’s trying to earn pity points>Bullshit!>So I tell him to give the stuff back or I’ll pry it off by force>He didn’t take a likening to either of those and tried to fight me>A few minutes later, I’m carry this stuff back to the shed after having dragged that knocked knuckle-head back to the armory to get some proper equipment.>Sheesh, the nerve of some people.>It looks like we’ll be having to keep an eye out for would-be thieves as well as Genestealers.
>Be Scar>Have brood brothers that are hiding amidst the soldiers start to be killed after genetic testing.>Annoyance and anger.bug>Contact brood brothers who have escaped purge of military by chance or skill>Order them to sabotage further genetic tests>Doesn't go perfectly>Many of the remaining brood brothers in the military die>However, many gene-testing machine are severely damaged or have been hacked. Only thing better than a broken gene-testing machine is one which gives false-positives>Also manage to sneak infection into a few more important targets. A few medics to further sabotage genetic testing. Squad leaders. Even a commander or two>Military equipment is smuggled into the underground.>I order a group of brood brothers to begin an insurrection against their commanding officers.>They fail, but this was planned for. Their mission was not to seize control or do any serious damage to enemy>Their mission was to instill fear and paranoia>HeHeHe.alienlaugh>Continue to spread throughout civilian population.>They can't genescan all the tramps and hobos.>Watching lovingly as 1st generation is born and begins to grow rapidly. Wow, that psychic growth is amazing.>1st born is already a toddler.>Grand-daddy's favorite boy.proud
>be Medeth Absinthium, high priestess apparent of Slaanesh>just managed to score some drugs to help with the headache>the daemonette in my head has finally gone quiet as well>might not have been such a good idea to repeatedly tell her to shut the fuck up, that'll probably bite me in the ass later>just get a nice buzz going when guardsmen come to round everyone up. Some sort of plague or something>fuck that, I ain't ever been sick anyway>blessingoftheprinceofexcess.holy>get up to the roof and just stay real quiet while I try to figure out where to go>there's some sort of cathedral in the distance, that's probably where the bitch-sisterhood is going to be>still need a plan to tempt them with, though
>>58563853>>58564059>Be Palatine Barbastella>En route to the undercity, in order to help with the genestealer hunt the Golden Light are engaging in>I am accompanied by several squads of Black Sepulchre>They are uncharacteristically nervous>It is understandable>Certainly, death holds no terror for we who are already dead>But to have your body used for alien desires, your mind subsumed by its will, your very soul enslaved, and to be forced to live through every second of it?>That is another matter>As such, for once we are all in full armour>It will not stop their claws, but full face helmets might spare us the horrors of the Genestealer's Kiss>Our mission goals are to rendezvous with Palatine Sara and the Golden Light, then begin the sweep for the Genestealer nest>Perhaps we will cull them before they spread too far, but bitter experience tells me we are already too late>But duty demands we try>There is already a decontamination station set up by entrance, manned by Hospitaller Dahlia>She nods to us as we enter, expression hidden behind her beaked mask>Feel thankful knowing that she won't hesitate to kill any of us if we are compromised on exit>As we descend, I muse upon the fact that of all the fates one might meet in this blighted age, death is by far the most merciful>Almost as soon as we enter, the plan goes awry>We are informed that Palatine Sara separated from the main group some time ago, going off alone into the tunnels>Apparently after some heretic straggler she encountered at the ill-fated wedding>Perhaps we have more in common than I thought>Clearly I'm not the only one with a deathwish>Take a squad with me into the tunnels after her, leaving Sister Superior Ophelia to coordinate the joint operation in my absence>I just hope that what we find is still human
>>58564059>be Sara>watch him lay his hand on the axe>figured that's how he'd play it>"Never heard of them? Big blue Marines? Friends of your old fat buddy, I'd reckon. Three-headed snake on their shoulders?">hold up three fingers curved in imitation of Alpha Legion livery>see a glimmer of recognition in his eyes>he does know something>got not qualms about blowing his head clean off, that's what I came for>but if he can help us solve bigger problems I'd do well to take advantage>the Emperor's justice is absolute, but it's also practical>"I won't lie to you. You're a traitor and a heretic. You're gonna get what you deserve one way or the other.">he grips the chainaxe tight and pulls it closer to him>place my thumb on the hammer of my pistol, ready for him to try and charge me>look at the axe, a sturdy old thing, probably made for a Marine to swing in one hand before it made its way to him>it's covered in crude Khornate markings>his own fastened Tyranid armor has none of the same>this one has no love for the Blood God, I would bet on it>he was just glad to find something to fight for>"But if you help me, I can make sure you meet your end on the right side of things."
>>58562901This FUCKING ETHEREAL just ruined EVERYTHING AGAIN goddamn IT
>>58564850>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher>The woman, she's talking about the Big Blue guy that almost grabbed me>Kek.gif>No harm in telling her I didn't want anything to do with him>No harm in telling her that he seemed to want to acquire the marines they killed>My friends>That they killed>She calls me a traitor and a heretic>I spit back at her"I am no heretic! I have nothing against The God-Emperor, only that childish imp that uses His authority.">It's mostly true>I figured The God-Emperor is probably disappointed in my choices>For what it's worth, I didn't want to let Him down>I just wanted to kill the Bishop>And his wife>Then eat them>Consumetheircorpsesandthoseofalltheirfollowe->Feth I'm getting off track again>Shake my head>She's still talking>So condescending>She's talking about meeting my end on the right side of things>I just give her a smile"Listen here, darlin'...">Make sure to poorly imitate her accent, it's honestly kind of amusing>"I'm not dying here....not yet...">I'm being watched, and in the back of my mind, I know I'm not alone>Hear the voice, first one, then two, then many>"BROTHER!">The hissing comes only moments before the shots>More of those cultists, more of The Family>Guess that's going to come in handy>They rush into the subway, sensing me their 'brother' in danger>AtleastTheBugGaveMeSomethingUseful.gif>Bring up my axe>Not to attack>No>Use it as a shield as I roll around the pillar>Between the chitin on my body, and the axe head, so colossal, covering my head, I'm hoping I can avoid an instant kill shot>I let the mob of these deranged killers go after the Sister>I thought she'd make a good member of The Family>Apparently they did to>Consider sticking around>Consider joining in her intiation>But anger calls>And I'm not a part of The Family>I'm still a Crasher>And I still have my mission>Scurry up the stairs, use this chance to make my escape
>be me, that alpha master of operations, Hakron>things are going absolutely terrible>all our plans for decent sized distractions have not gone as planned at all>absolutely no idea why>not only that, but we've given our position out in a trade for information about enemy leadership>wasn't a good trade>Sororitas are stalking the sewers, removing our main supply route from being used efficiently>decide enough is enough, hydra dominatus is called that for a good reason>activate various sleeper agents to assassinate the enemy leadership>send orders to infiltraitors in-orbit to stealthily disable as many weapons as possible>have 5 headhunters sent into the tunnels, our stormbolters can and will kill these annoying sororitas>and have the Gloriana-Class prepped for flight, something it hasn't done in atLEAST 5000 years>we're going to get the fuck out of here>in a blazing storm of fire>with a distraction or without
>Be newly promoted Captain Thorn>Spent the last few weeks crusading within the same system that house the galaxy's greatest shithole of a planet>Imperial Fist presence has only increased in the sector due to how many foes we have encountered>Chapter Master is even considering having the Phalanx enter the system due to how much shit goes on in the system>Decision will probably be made sooner when they take into account the news that the planet has an Alpha Legion and Genesteeler presence on it>How the fuck does this planet keep getting everybody's attention is far beyond anybody but the Emperor by this point>Needless to say my Commander is eager to engage in our rivalry with the Alpha fags and decides to withdraw all Imperial Fist forces>Come to think of it just about every other space marine force in the sector is heading back to the planet>Plan by this point is to just drop down and start a massive sweep of the only "safe" location on the planet>Herewegoagain.deepstrike
>>58565129>Be Scar>Briefly feel the problem child connect to the Family's psychic network to summon the aid of his brothers and sister>Problem child is learning to love the family, slowly but surely. He knows how helpful they are.>Feel more of my children, the brood brothers, attack a strong foe, a trained soldier.>She is good at what she does, and manages to fell many brood brothers and one or two first generation hybrids, now grown as if they'd been alive ten years.>However, more than a few brothers responded to the problem child.>This was a large portion of the hobo brood brothers, the unwashed masses that I can infect by the truckload.>Though skilled with a gun, she is unable to deal with an enemy that can afford to loose as many men and women as her guns can hold ammo.>The brood brothers pull her to the ground, and I stalk from the shadows towards the fallen sister of battle>Her defiance as she is held down, not by the strength of the brood brothers but by their sheer numbers, is adorable.>She screams and tries to bite my tongue as I give her this kiss and welcome her to the family. >Luckily, I have learned from the problem child and grown protective chitin over my tongue>lol.adaptation
>Be me, Primaris Sergeant Jaren Artorius.>The Captain just came back, along with the rest of the command squad.>Fuckingwatchithespissed.png>Make sure to give the Captain some space, as I ask Librarian Vurulus what happened"it seems that in all the recent confusion, a cell of Alpha legionaries managed to infiltrate the planet.">Areyoufckingserious.jpeg>No wonder the Captain was so livid.>Apparently he's planning for the inevitable.>A dark crusade...>God-Emperor, I only wish I could protect Olga from it all...>Thank my brother for the information, and decide to go for a walk to clear my head.>First it's genestealer cults, and now it's bloody Chaos space marines.
>>58561985>Be Sister Charlotte>Finally finish up my gross sewer work with my sisters and the supporting Red Templars>Actually not bad guys for Space Marines. A little pious yeah, but pretty realistic too. Very careful and precise>Can almost see what Olga sees in Space Marines>Cannot see what Space Marines see in Olga>How do you even fuck a space marine, aren't they way too big?>Fuck, a Space Marine fucking Olga must look like an Ork trying to wrestle a Squiggoth>Grosser than tyranids, by a bit>Finally be done and be ready for a break>After I get showered and everything suddenly there's an order that we all need to be screened for an infestation or something, especially those who were on sewer duty>Just fuck everything.
>Be Colonel>return to our landing site, which has been fortified well now.goodbois.pithhelm>some sisters are here, some of those medic ones>ask what they're doing>genestealer screening >thefuckarethey.vox>eh, leave the crazy ladies to their work and talk to my commissar who isn't a duplicate>tell him why we're still gonna be here for a while, weird shits going on, like two commissars who look the same>hear funny little roars outside and lasgun shots>wut¿.jpg >walk out and see some of those termagaunt things attacking our line>get boys in firing lines to repel these tiny bug things>firstrankfire.lasgun>firing lines were successful and killed all the damned bugs >needasmoke.vox>go find an Iho stick to wind down and then I might go to bed
>>58565311>be one of the final pee dee eff boys left>me name's johnny>been soldiering for a good long while>can hardly believe I'm still holding on>almost got eaten, got my leg blown off twice, almost got cut in 'alf by one of of those big red 'reens>but I can make it through! >even managed to avoid getting mauled by a big bug, like a bunch of my pals did>i'm sure nothing bad can happen now, enough has happen>...>b z z r t>...>directive recieved>grab my long-las and head to the roof adjacent to the commissar's baneblade>lie in wait>hydra dominatus
>>58565424>>58565422>Along the way, I make a stop by the Soroitas field base, see if I can't talk to Olga for a short while.>Unfortunately, they've sent her out and about on some sort of mission again.>Fuckmylife.png>On the way out, I spot one of Olga's comrades.>Charlotte is her name?>Decide to go and see if she hasn't seen Olga recently, or failing that, she if she has any insight as to a good gift to get her.
>>58565129>Be Sister Maria.>I would like to say that I feel no fear.>That my acceptance of my inevitable demise shields me against such weakness.>And normally, that would be the case.>But I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared right now.>The Palatine has led us into the genestealer infested tunnels in pursuit of her peer in the Golden Light, who went missing some hours ago.>I'm certain she's a strong warrior, but even Astartes risk their lives against Genestealers, especially in such close conditions as these.>We hope to find her either alive and well, or dead.>The alternatives... are unpleasant to consider.>As we enter a subway station, I hear voices.>I look towards the source, and see two figures, one with a very distinctive accent.>I feel relief, and begin to signal the others-"BROTHER!""BRRROTHER!""BROOOOOOOTHERRRR!">Suddenly from the other end of the station, figures charge toward Palatine Sara.>Humanoid, but marred by the grotesque hand of the alien.>The auspex in my helm lights up like a starry sky as more creatures emerge from the gloom.>I have time for but one word;>"CONTACT!"
>>58565372>be me loyal member of the bishop's holy retinue>protector of the great bishop and his wife, saved them from death more times than I can count>don't think I actually can count, didn't learn that>am on my break, my other loyal brothers-in-arms are doing the job most holy>grab my flask from underneath the bef>nows a good goddamn time for a drink>hold the flask to my lips>...>directive recieved>...>drop the flask on the ground>put my armor back on>gear up with my weapons>the guard changes now>and the bishop will be safe in my hands>hydra dominatus
>be Palatine Sara>draw as I hear footsteps>they're here for him>take my first shot at the traitor>I don't miss, but he knows that>holds his axe as a shield as he runs>my head shot bounces off the tough metal>take a shot with the second gun and hit him in his Tyranid-plated chest>he stumbles but keeps running>wheel around as autogun fire rips through the transit station wall>a couple shots catch me in the breastplate>a dozen cultists>it would be poetic if I hadn't wasted two of my shots>fire ten shots through the skulls of ten cultists>dive behind one of the pillars>the last two advance on me unfazed>draw Icebreaker and fling it at the one leveling his rifle>buries itself in his throat>I know the feeling>rush the second>she fires a stub pistol at me but I cover my head with my arms and let the shots bounce off harmlessly>smash her in the face with a gauntlet fist>more cultists coming in, unarmed, lesser ones>they try to dogpile me>thrash around with power armored strength, breaking arms and jaws>but there's too many of them>hear a giddy hiss>the one real Genestealer in the pack pushes through>punch it right in the nose but four cultists put their full weight on my arm>it puts its mouth over my head and tries to ram its tongue down my throat>can hear bolter fire and roaring chainblades down the tunnel>bite down hard but it does no good>black out
>>58565550>Be Scar>See more heavily armed human females charge into the tunnels>Fishing depositing seed in the downed sister who was chasing problem child and jump to the shadows as the sister cough and sputters, seemingly trying to vomit away the gift>it will not work.smile>Watch as my children stop surrounding the now infected sister and charge towards the new set of enemies.>crawling across walls.spiderman>Get behind the sisters and pounce on one, sinking claws through her power armor>Jump away as the others turn and open fire, shouting their short prayers to their foolish god>Dodge shots and flames and such as I jump towards my children>Take glancing shots as I jump behind the charging horde of my children>Returning to the shadows.alienninja
>>58565577>Be me, Inquisitorial Crusader Dietrich Wegstein>Could slay some Xenos right now, but my new boss let me here guarding the repaired cathedral and watching over the faithfull, while she and the other Acolytes have fun.>Maybe its because I dared to suggest that enslaving Xenos and collecting their Tech is reasonable for an Ordo Xenos Inquistor but her interest seems a bit too... enthusiastic.>Now I stay here as Shepherd for the faithfull>Well, could be worse>DenSchwachenzum SchutzDenStarkenzum Trutz.knightstuff>Also one of the guards is drinking, what hogwash for a man of faith.>By which I mean, his choice and time. Marking on the bottle is from some local booze company, probaly tastes like piss and that at work>Real Men enjoy a Krootbeer while their hands are still bloody from battle at the feast and then stay dry until the next battle & feast>Which you can kinda go around by fighting very often>Butyoudon'tgetthisfromme.understand>Also, from my position I get inspired by the Statue of the Canoness, they made here>Goodtoknowwhatyouarefightingfor.png
>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher, The Problem Child>Be stumbling out of a doorway>I have reached the surface>Finally.gif>Reach down to my body, pull hand away>Slick with blood>Darlin' managed to hit me>Wouldn't expect less>But judging from the gunfire down there, she won't be chasing anytime soon>Still, I'm not one to give up a good head start>Start moving through the streets>Looks like this place was abandoned after the battle>Ruins, slated for re-construction and rebuilding once that damned Bishop gets around to it>Lucky me>Still, hear alarms around the city>Seems something really is going down>Echoes of engines, no doubt patrols>Need to get off the streets, find somewhere to hole up>Smell smoke on the air, turn towards it>Above the rubble of broken buildings, see a smokestack, clearly active>Atleast it's warm>Start moving towards it>Dashing from cover to cover>Hunger seems satiated, can't shake the feeling of some pleasure coming from it>It disgusts me>But I can worry about that later>Right now, I need to keep moving
>>58565311>Be Servitor Controller Petrochus>under Juris Magos Constanostro>love controlling the mindless bumbling servitors>it's nice knowing you are in power over thousands of minds that move to your every command>they're very dumb though, obviously>I only wish that I could use the gun servitors more>haven't been in a good fight in a while>...>directives recieved>...>i leave my post and head towards where the magos is, gun servitors in tow>it is time for a change in leadership>constanostro needs some time off>he needs to go swimming>with the fishes>hydra dominatus
>Be Marcus>Okay so it’s been a wierd week.>First Of All, The Genestealers are still here and up to they’re usual tricks>Infectin people, breaking equipment, starting riots, instilling fear into the hearts of men the usual,>That’s not strange though, we all knew they wouldn’t be gone so easily, we’re not that lucky>It’s why we’re all on the buddy system now.>No, what is wierd, is that we keep noticing more of these Blood Raven Guardsmen poppin up,>at first we just though they were simple thieves but after we noticed that our hoard in the supply shed was gettin bigger, we started considering that they might be tellin the truth,>Although the Truth was even less informative or helpful>All we knew was that these wierd Guardsmen and PDF were showing with these distinctive sets of armor and no idea how they got them>And whenever we grilled them, they would start gettin these wierd headaches>We couldn’t make Heads or tails of what was going on. >Didn’t need to though to know that it was bad news>So now we’ve been goin around, lookin fer more of these weirdo Gaurdsmen, draggin then away, beatin them and nick in they’re stuff like a bunch of muggers>totallythwheros.doubt>man this is gettin outta hand>we need to tell someone. >perhaps it’s time we gave Morgensen a call...
>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>And the Emperor must want me to burn everyone.>This planet has countless guardsmen, Sisters of Battle, and every Space Marine in the sector.>And yet I can't even take some downtime.>CleanTheDishesCindarella.mp3>Between all of those forces you'd think they could have wiped out the Tyranids while I turned this planet into a paradise. >I wanted to relax. I deserved some luxury. My birthmark is gone, my destiny is supposed to be over. I wanted to be rich. Maybe even get a little fat.>Not, like, gross fat. Rich fat. Classy fat. >CultivatingAss.gif>But no. I've got to go back out there. >I attend to the scans of the PDF and my zealots personally. >And by attend, I mean I personally set fire to the infected.>And those who sheltered the infected.>And those who tried to avoid the scans.>GetTurnedGetBurned.voxcast>Broadcast a speech on Tyranids. How to spot them. How to kill them. How to hate them.>LitanyOfHate.scripture>I leave the PDF to the governess and call the rest of my zealots to me. >This time I wasn't going to stop until everything that wasn't faithful to the Emperor was on fire.
>>58565311>be me guardsman randy>...>directives recieved>...>me and 15 other guardsmen have assembled at random warehouse 456>no idea why>just felt like it was right>suddenly, the floor opens up, and some guys drag two boxes out of the ground>one has blood ravens themed guard uniforms in it>the next has blood ravens themed lasguns>and the last has chainswords with weird symbols on it>put them on if I was ordered>chainsword goes onto a special slot on the back, basically invisible>we all walk towards the church, where the canoness has set up camp>I think it's time the canoness was relieved of her duty>i'm sure she'd enjoy being a saint too>hydra dominatus
>be me, Marek Avalon, second company captain for the Broken Shields.>Myself, along with 20 other brothers have decided to make our way down Into the city sewers after receiving Intel on the possible location of an alpha legion cell.>We've been down in the muck for nearly an hour searching through both sewer passages, as well as Tyranid carved tunnel networks.>If and when we find the nid's, we slay them to the last.>That's six different genestealer cult outposts we've dealt with, along with several other actual nests.>My only equipment is the Arecheotech Powersword in my hand, a relic known as "Amateratsu". A power sword that is quite litterally on fire.>Also have my cawl II pattern bolt rifle at my side. But that's not as cool>I swear when we find those traitors, they're going to wish they were dead.>Librarian Vurulus says that we're getting close to something.>I hope he's right....
>>58565450>Be Colonel>after those bugs tried to attack our lines just been doing fuck all>might as well get my little shits trained and ready>firingexercisesanyone?>gonna wander around to find some live targets...
>>58565690>>58565642>Be Palatine Barbastella>Existence is a nightmare from which I am unable to wake>Sister Maria found our wayward Palatine in the subway, hale and hearty>Yet as soon as we found her, the genestealer and its brood descended upon us all>And all I could do was watch as it forced its tongue down her throat>The accursed thing has quite the sense of timing>As we struggle to keep the beasts at bay, I hear the sound of tearing ceramite>Look round to see Sister Victoria sliced in two, the genestealer's grin glinting in the flash of bolter fire>It sinks back into the darkness as my sisters turn on it, and they hit only air>But it is not the only creature more comfortable in the shadows than the light of day>I whisper a command into my helmet, and my vision is lit up in shades of lurid green>I see it crawl across the ceiling, dropping behind its disgusting brood>Thinking itself safe>I fire an incendiary grenade into the underbarrel launcher on my bolter, and watch as the tunnel it and its brood lurk within goes up in blue flames>I charge across the station and grab the recumbent Sara, then order a retreat>But not before I tell Maria to plant a couple of meltabombs on the tunnel wall>As we leave, she collapses the tunnel behind us>We're going to need to get to the surface fast, and I don't intend to make it easy for this beast to send us to our deaths>And I have a plan
>be Palatine Sara>come back to consciousness slowly to the close sound of gunfire>open my eyes>surrounded by Sisters of the Black Sepulchre>they're in full armor, keeping cultists back with chain-spears and boltguns lighting up the dark>someone propped me up against the wall>a Sister is standing over me>she's wearing a helmet, but I know from her posture and the saw-sword in her hand that it's Barbastella>can't remember anything, but I also know that that means>can taste the slime in my throat>the faint voices in my ears that scream louder every time one of the cultists is killed>lean over and vomit on the floor>Barbastella leans back a step to avoid getting it on her boots>look back up at her>can almost see the solemn look through her helmet, the same one I'd be wearing>lift my hand and tell her to wait, reaching for my belt>pull out a tiny vial of a thick red liquid>she nods in understanding>the Tears of the Emperor>scraped from the eyes of a weeping statue on Ophelia VII>a powerful weapon, anathema to creatures of the Warp>seen a splash of it melt a Herald of Khorne>and also, it is said, able to cure the faithful of any disease>not sure what it would've done to the traitor>but he missed his chance to find out>uncork the vial>toss my head back and gulp down the whole thing>bottoms up
>be Tar Gwil, last Night Lord of the 83rd>been working for the alphas, indebted or something, cant remember>alphas are planning something big apparently>again>I'm supposed to go spook some important corpse worshipers>Sick of these guys and their missions and their teal blue>When this goes down, I'm getting off this rock >AveDominusNox.midnightblueink
>>58566513Injured? She got sliced in half m8.
>>58566574Oh yeah, forgot about that.
>>58566513>Be me, Captain Marek Avalon.>During our search of the sublevels and sewers, brother Gerimas spots something moving in the distance.>one Eye activated rune later, and my helmet's lense zoom in.>Target's, multiple.>A closer look shows them to be humans. Some guards, some civilians, and.>That's one big genestealer.>Shit! Thats the patriarch, and it's captured a sister of battle!>Shoving it's tongue down her throat as well.>We all know what this means.>Silently motion for my brothers to quietly take up positions, as we get nice and close.>Assholes don't see it coming when it happens.>Brothers Alovosh, and Brandon quickly load in frag grenades to their underbarrel grenade launcher attachments, before firing them at the patriarch.>Boom!.holo>My brothers and I quickly open fire upon the infected humans, as well as the genestealer patriarch.>Quickly activate the flames upon Amateratsu, as I take pot shots with my bolt rifle, one handed.>The flaming 6 foot blade is like a candle in the darkness>Come and meet your end by my blade, foul xeno scum!
>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher, The Problem Child>Making my way down town, walking fast, hauling ass, and I'm weary>Figure that Darlin' isn't going to be following me, but even out here in the wrecked industrial sector, the city is on watch>Thankfully there seems to be some confusion going on inside the city>In the back of my mind, I know it's an uprising>I feel the urge to join in the mayhem>But I can't>No, not yet>Come upon the refinery>Sneak in through a busted wall>Seems largely automated>AllTheBetter.gif>It's really hot though, sweating my fething balls off in here>Just one more thing to worry about>Atleast I can curl up in here for a bit>Get some rest>Try to clear my head>Just need to find a nook to hide in>Just need to keep going a little further>Atleast my wound isn't bothering me anymore>NotSureIfGoodOrBad.jpeg
>>58566241>be us, headhunter kill team designation λ>auspex and intel shows sororitas being pushed back by tyranids>enemyofmyenemy.alpha>however, large squad of "chadmarines" is patrolling the lower hive far away from the sisters, attempting to clear the nests>plant camoflagued mines on their direct approach path>then ask hq to send for the night lord>we'll need him
>>58566735>fuck>chad marines all start running toward the sororitas, attempting to "save the day" >very well, so be it>circle around to the tunnel underneath the current raging battle>set melta bombs>it's time for everyone to take it down a notch
>>58566019>be the distinguished Asencio Gilberto Corazon III, Rogue Trader extraordinaire>though I doubt if ever you will be given the opportunity>still waiting at the Matrimonial Cathedral>the electric-eyed Canoness said she would return soon but I think she may have forgotten>no matter, as I found a very pleasingly proportioned Sister Dialogous who was more than willing to help me pass the time>but the second hour of our new acquaintanceship is interrupted by the sound of an explosion within the Cathedral>my bodyguard Brother Salvador comes into the room as I pull on my trousers>someone has breached the church through a side entrance>tell the lovely Sister to hide as we move into the hallway>what look to be Guardsmen in red uniforms fire lasguns at us from down the hall>Salvador fires booming shots from his bolter in response and they scatter to cover>keeping behind my Crimson Fist friend I draw my plasma pistola and return fire
>Be Captain Thorn>After a day or two in the warp we finally arrive back to the planet>Shit has already started going down hill with the Genestealers already causing an uprising>Also hear reports of Guardsmen with Blood Raven themed patterns moving across the city>Alpha Legion fuckery senses tingling.geneseed>Commander decides that sweep in no longer necessary and order everybody into their pods as part of a coordinated effort with the other newly arrived marines>My company is assigned to head to the Governesses mansion to secure it in case of the Alpha Legion or Genestealers attempt an assassination while the other fists purge the city>Kinda felt bad for breaking the Governesses stairs but that was swept aside when we heard gunfire in the building>Notthisshitagain.fist
>Be me, Lychguard >Actually called Menkaukht but not that it matters>Originally served a minor Lord from this planet's tomb>Lord is now destroyed, stepped on by giant Krork war machine, then turned into a particularly large Krork's hat>Why he told me to stay back before trying to fight the war machine in close combat is beyond me>Muh Honour or something like that>It was hard to tell what he was saying over the sounds of combat and the constant autistic screeching of the Krorks >Been an unknown number of days since that happened>Now I'm lost in some sort of catacombs over the now ruined tomb>Not really sure how I got here, been a bit lost due to my Lords destruction>I don't think the crypteks that programmed the Lychguard loyalty routines planned for us to outlive a charge>Still, I have enough self awareness to survive the bullshit that has started to become then norm for this world>There's weird bug things running around down here along with humans>Bugs ignore me if I stand still but the humans start screaming and shooting at me>Dispersion shield reflects their attacks back though>Even after millions of years that never gets old>StopHittingYourself.png>As I gingerly step over the bodies of the latest mass suicide something explodes nearby knocks me off my feet >Now face down in a fleshling's guts>All I want to do is find an exit>I miss being asleep>I hate organics
>be me, Jaren Artorius, primaris Sergeant.>Shit started hitting the fan up here, and the Captain is still in the under city ruins.>Thankfully, I'm here, along with the rest of my recently arrived squad, assisting with the defense of the sisters field base.>Half the city is in an up roar, as both traitor guard screaming "hydra dominatus" as well as those directly with the genestealer themselves es, have begun slaughtering and killing indiscriminately.>We're thankfully holding our positions, as we allow civilians into the area.>We're the angels of death, but civilians have a certain place in the hearts of my chapter.>Hopefully Olga and the captain are alright.
>Be Original Commissar>wake up to the sound of everything going to shit again>Can feel unbridled rage when I hear a few of the newfag guardsmen decided to roleplay as that one group of stormtroopers who joined the magpies and rebelling>Not sure if its Alpha Legion fuckery or just weird cosplayers who got infected by genestealers or both>Though for some reason the area around the baneblade is quiet, to quiet>Somethingisnotright.vox>Future me decides to test a theory and gets some wood in the baneblade, makes a cross out of it, attaches a spare commissar helmet and coat to it, opens the hatch and sticks the dummy out of it>The fact that we could hear a ding followed by the the cross turning into charred cinders gives us the idea that somebody wants our brains blown out>Ohshit.schola>Decide to move the baneblade else where and secure the hatch while informing everybody about assassination attempts>Decided to head to the Cathedral to check on the sisters and use the Baneblade to get them to the Governess Mansion>Arrived to find out a bunch of those magpie cosplayers are shooting up the place with the Sisters and 20 of those huge ass marines from before fighting them off>TypicalWednesday.blam
>Be Drathor>Be The Last Crasher, The Problem Child>Be in the refinery, and boy is it hot>Search for someplace to rest is so far futile>Every nook I locate is was to fething warm to relax in>IJustWantToSleep.gif>There are servitors in here, doing their tasks>I stay away from them, but I don't think they even have the brainpower to do anything if I'm spotted>Can't help but think that might be me if I let those Imperials catch me>I'dRatherABoltPlease.jpeg>The alarms outside are all but drowned out in here>I guess no one wants to fight over slag and other melted down metal>WhoKnew.gif>Be moving along, spot a group of servitors all moving towards a location>Wouldn't really care, but then I noticed something>One of them was carrying an item>I recognized this item>Start following their little trail, see them hauling shit towards a massive furnace>Seeing where it goes, I follow it back to the source>....>I find a pile>I recognize the pile>It's the dead traitors>All of them, gathered here>No doubt to be burned away>TheSistersWouldApprove.gif>See the remains of Sanctified, and notice that none of the PDF that they recruited are among them>Figures they wouldn't care about the littles....>All the corpses of the marines are being taken apart, and haul into the furnace>I make my way towards it>I never did get a chance to say goodbye
>>58567375>Be me, Jaren Artorius, ever in the same boat.>We're finally starting to push back those bastard traitors, when we spot it.>That's a fucking baneblade.>CREEEEEEEEE->Wait a second. That's a good thing!>As the traitors start fleeing in droves, I and my squad make our way over, and hail over the baneblade.>Of course it's the fucking commissars, both of whom are trying to cosplay as yarrick.>Force them to let me use the vox caster on their baneblade to hail the strike crusiers, "Protecter of man", and "Vigilant for Remorse".>Have them begin preparations to deploy Aggressor suits and a repulsor tank.>MFW we make sure there isn't a single heretic or genestealer left upon this world >FabulousInthisarmor.jpeg
>Be Tar Gwill, last of the Night Lords 83rd>Wandering the undercity>Endless dark tunnels>A surprising amount of corpses>Reminds me of home>The infiltration armor the alphas gave me is a little... plain>Smear undercity grime anywhere that might glint>Plunge by hand into a xeno corpse, and run it across one side of my helm>Thats a war face>Notice most of the corpses have bolter sized holes in them>silentrunning.exer>Turn corner>Whole squad of sororitas running down corridor>Feth.nostroman>Flash helm lanterns, jump out>WEHAVECOMEFORYOU.ogreroar>Run away>some runes flash on my display>No idea what they say, I cant read the...alfabet?>Whatever, I have coordinates too.>Hear the stomping of some massive metallic asshole a few corridors over>Go the other way>Try not to run into anything else as I make my way to the surface
>>58566973>Be Colonel>kinda bored, got fuck all to do>might go on another wander around>wheretogothough.kindalost>might have a gander at the cathedral, say hullo to them sisters and see if they need some help from me and my boys>all we've been doing is firing exercises and trying no to die to bugs>walking can be kinda boring but hey it's nice once and a while>also we have no tanks> the order to the munitorum hasn't come back yet>I assume they haven't seen it at all >beucrocracyisabitch.vox>finally finish my walk to the cathedral>really nice building, haven't seen many built this way, pretty nice, fancy and all>looking around and don't see any sisters>thefuckdidtheygo¿.mustache>time to go look around inside they might be praying or something>gotabadfeelingaboutthisone.scared> pull out laspistol and chainsword just in case>hear some gunshots and see what look like guardsmen fighting against...>wait what the fuck>why>why are they shooting at a space marine?>are these boys fucked or something?>well might as well help the big dude out>start firing my pistol at these what I assume are traitors >rev the chainsword and charge at them as well>fortheemperor.faithintheemperor
>be me, Hakron, alpha legion guy. you don't know me, or maybe you do>requesting a status update from the control-master>turns out the "blood for the blood ravens" were outed too early at the checkpoint and had to forcefully enter the compound>have them activate their khornate directive once they are in charging range of the canoness>they won't expect guardsmen to have chainswords>next up is the sniper>he's shot a fake commissar double that he set up>those two are too smart for their own good>the baneblade has driven off and the sniper is following along the buildings>after that is the zealot bodyguard, who is current still undercover>once he gets close to the bishop, he will go nuts>finally the tech priest>he has completely disappeared>very strange>my headhunters have set an ambush and melta bombs for those primaris marines>they also want the night lord to help them>think that is absolutely a fantastic idea, and send him along with more meltas AND stasis bombs also some things that night lords like to play with>also give them 2 extra directives>first. Capture as many primaris as you can, and get them back to base. >Reverse engineering them will be of great use to us>and second, get that sword>it needs reforging and renaming>I definitely could use a new knife >the ship will be ready in 28 hours>more than enough time to mess shit up
>Be Tar Gwell, last of the Night Lords 83rd>meeting with some alphas>apparently were going after some bastard marines>TheEmperorNeverWantedUs.vindcation>Ok I get behind this>The bigger they are>The bigger the chinks in the armor>You want them alive?>Define alive
>Be me, Drathor>Be The Last Crasher, The Problem Child>Be pretty bummed out>I'm at the pile now, looking down at the remains of the Big'Uns>Can see where the bolt rounds pierced their plate, where the chainswords cut their hide>That'sRoughBuddy.mp3>The hunger in the back of my mind is still there>The Anger is too>But for now, just pretty sad>Look back over towards the furnace, where already most of the dead have been thrown into a fiery oblivion>I guess I should get going>Still need to find a place to rest>Look back over to the pile>Gaze stops on one figure>He's laying beneath some broken bits, so I go brush them off of him>Don't recognize the marine, but then, I really only knew The Gut>Pretty much just as horrific as all the others, big and burly with power>But he's wearing something that draws my attention>Spiked collar around his throat>Seems pretty ordinary, yet at the same time, it radiates with something I just can't describe>Reach out towards it>Feel the Hunger rise up, as if in alarm>Shake my head, try to clear my thoughts, as I grab at the collar>Feel like the presence in the back of my mind is screaming at me now, calling me back, calling me away>I don't stop, I rip the collar off of the corpse, holding it in my hands>Way to big for me to wear around my neck>But...>Idea.gif>Uncoil the metal banding>Start to wrap it around my waist>Feel the screaming voices telling me to stop, telling me to throw it into the fire>I don't listen>I'm not a part of this family>Attach the collar around my waist, a new spikey belt>Drop to my knees, feel like fire is stabbing into me from my new accessory>OhGodItBurns.mp3>Scream, vision going black>Don't know how long passes before I wake up>But I'm up>Eyes open>Feeling better then I've felt in a while>Let out a sigh>Realize something>The Hunger....it's gone.....>Like, I can't feel the presence anymore>NobodysWatchingMe.mp3>Smile>Laugh>Absolutely amazing>I'm free
>be the exceptional Rogue Trader Corazon>melt another Guardsman face with plasma as he pops up to fire>not entirely sure what it is I've been roped into>they're wearing the livery of the Blood Ravens, a Space Marine Chapter>not sure why men of regular size would be dressed as such, let alone attacking the Cathedral>they did warn this planet made too little sense to be worth the trouble>but Asencio Corazon is not scared away by a mere dozen alien hostile armies>or even a few hostile human ones>the local Bishop's transmissions warned of Genestealer infestation, perhaps that explains these traitorous dogs>in fairness, I would make an excellent Genestealer>there are quite a few little boys and girls across the Imperium, and perhaps one or two in xenos space, that owe me their existence>but I do not find the prospect especially appealing>the traitor Guard in the rear turn around suddenly in surprise>lasgun shots start hitting them from outside the doors>ah, assistance has arrived>a torrent of pale mustachioed Guardsmen in red coats and pith helmets run screaming into the hall with bayonets affixed>the rest of the traitor Guard try to well around, but it is too late>Brother Salvador and I share glances>what a strange corner of the Imperium this is>but I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth
>Be Menkaukht, lost and incredibly frustrated Lychguard>Pull myself out of the organics guts, stomping on what remains of its head as I walk away>Find myself at a dead end>Inwardly curse the fact that I'm not a canoptek wraith and capable of passing through solid surfaces>Begin to turn around to find another path when I hear muffled shouting coming from beyond the wall>The sound of heavy footsteps running in the opposite direction follows the yelling>I've had enough of this place>Time for some stress relief>Use my bulk to crash through the shoddily made wall, surprising some female organics on the other side>Wait, shit, that's more organics than I thought there was, and they're all really well armed for primitives>Still, Menkaukht ain't no coward, my mother raised me better than that>Mommy'sBoy.LoveYouMama>Angrily blurt yell a garbled mix of "Death comes for you!" and "Get off my lawn!" while shaking my fist>Turn and crash through another wall feeling a little better>That should spook them enough to get them to fuck off>Now, I'm sure my lord had a private ship hidden around here in case he needed to get off world...........
>Be Scar>The genestealer>A lot of hobo brood brothers are dead>But I obtained a sister of battle to infect>Don't exactly know where. Maybe a survivor of that previous fight?>Memory on that is fuzzy>Something burning comes from the other infected Sister, the Palatine Sara. It's golden and it fucking hurts.>Forced to sever connection to her.>Damnit, I'll need to get close to her to reestablish that.>Still, the infection is still in her. She's just been severed from the brood.>Weird.jpg>Feel a burning sensation from the Problem Child. This one is very red, and very angry.>Again, forced to sever connection.>Damnit. Well, at least I still have this other sister of battle.>Still have no idea where she came from.>Where did I get this chick.confused>Dodging a lot of people while moving through the sewers.>Space marines, sisters of battle, a few orks. even some Tau.>Where did the tau come from?>Doesn't matter. When I encounter any groups that are small and isolated, I pounce and infect them>Gotta replace all the low quality kids I lost with newer high quality kids>Why the hell would they send everyone into tunnels that they know for a fact are filled with genestealer cultists anyways>I mean, they had no problem setting the entire planet on fire a few months ago>Don't know why they just don't seal the exits and fill this place with burning promethium>Oh look, a lost and alone guardsman, shitting his band.>hey kid, would you like some candy?>I don't have any, but welcome to the family anyways.
>>58568706>Be Colonel>good thing I called in for back up for this >these traitors are hard going>pretty entrenched so its gonna be 'ard pushing through>but hey at least I can help the big guy>oh he has a friend>the guy he's protecting has some very fancy clothes on, must some rich fop from Terra>won't judgejustdoingmyjob.mustache>clearing this out isn't too bad now that we've surprised them>what do they call it? hammer and anvil or whatever high command likes>idk>anyway we're almost done here just a few more to get rid of>Tallyholads.glorious charge>bit hungry now that I think of it>could go for a sandwich, or a scone >anyway now that these two have been relieved I'll let my boys rest and get ready to move back to base camp>lets talk to this marine and his friend about where these sisters are>not going to give up on why I was here in the first place
>>58553603>Be me, sybarite Drazar>be alone again>winged mon'keigh scattered the squad>destroyed the useless venom>wandering the various battlefields>looting as much as I can>find several containing my kin>even a fucking Archon >defginately loot his shit>find a nice fur cloak too>also find a few with the craftworld whelps in the mix >loot a bunch of soul stones off them>score>rollingincash.hypex>manage to find a working jet bike>craftworld standard but still usable>start the thing up and head north>just want to put as much distance between me and that Thing as possible>not to mention all the genestealers>fuck genestealers>pull cloak tighter around me to ward off the cold>maybe I'll find someone to talk to>laugh at my own joke
>Be Fessus>So it turns or we couldn’t reach Morgensen>Okay that’s fine>And that those Weird Gaurdsmen we confiscated the equipment from earlier are suddenly rebelling>That’s NOT FINE>I don’t know what happened, it’s a switch was slipped and they started fighting everyone>Fighting erupted at Guard HQ>Shit this is bad>Hear there’s Fighting all around in the city>some of it’s from Genestealers, others from Traitor Guard dresses as Blood Ravens>Shiit>They’re totally gonna blame us for it!>Shit what do we do!>We have to clear our Names!>wait...If we show them that the Blood Ravens have nothing to do with this Traitor Guard, maybe they won’t kick us out/try to kill us again!>genius >Go around, pick some of our favorite Guard boys>Give them some of the Blood Raven Armor and weapons we confiscated>They’re one of the Rave Guard now>What? Oh what do you mean that names already taken?>All load up in Chimeras’>Head into the city to go show those wannabes what for.>Run into a few parties of those assholes fighting the loyal Guard boys>Gun them down with our superior Ravens>Once we get the normal guard boys to stop shooting at us, they’re actually pretty happy, if confused>no need to thank usc just doing our duty>Head over to the Cathedral with our boys ready to kick some ass and save the day>It turns out they’ve already got it handled.>oh>well that’s disappointing. Also, what the fuck, a guy goes to work and that’s when you all decide to reach the climax and go ham with the posting? Also seriously, would it have killed you guys to give at least a slight shout out. I’m not asking to be made the center of attention, but at least a mention of being present for the subplot I tried to build up involvement in would be nice, at least so I could have somewhere to jump back in from.
>>58569660>Be Scar>Be the genestealer>Wow...>Okay, that psychic gestation speed up thing is now working on it's own now.>We have like, 100 first generation hybrids now, all fully grown.>In other news, the humans are now all fighting each other!>Yay.happybug>Don't have the problem child or that sharpshooting sister of battle anymore though.>Notyay.sadbug>I do have this other sister I've infected though>She seems a bit young and inexperienced>Probably an initiate or whatever they call their trainees>She's REALLY into the family>It's like her devotion switch got changed from Emperor to the Family>She's great>#1 best girl>Painting that swirly monster symbol on her armor and everything>makingherfatherproud.tearsinmyeyes>I hear through the brood connection grapevine that something big will be happening near the cathedral.>Good as time as any to do things>I tell ultra-zeaous infected sister to go lead a bunch of hobo brood brothers up there, try to drag back as many good potential new family members as possible>She early nods and gathers up her brothers and sisters.>As she leaves, I go down to some holes where we have a lot of the pregnant brood sisters hiding out.>Time to do some warpy magic.>Wanna see how far I can take to super gestation/aging thing>Time to get radical!
>Be Tar Gwell, last Night Lord of the 83rd>"so... we just wait for them to come to us?">all the alphas look at me>they all nod>OK>keeps me out of danger>...>corridor wall falls down>some massive xenos automata just walks right in>melta bombs go off>By the primarch that thing is still standing>well at least its arm fell off>it just put the arm back on>"Hey guys i think i'm going to look for loyalists over here"
>>58566468>Be Palatine Barbastella>A kilometre or two into our retreat, I feel Palatine Sara stirring on my shoulder>I signal the Sepulchre to hold, and prop her up against the wall>She comes to fitfully, looking around at the ongoing battle blearily before voiding her stomach>She locks eyes with me through my helmet>It's clear she knows exactly what's happened to her>I had foolishly hoped that we would be free of the undercity by now, but it's been a struggle to break through>Perhaps we could have sought the aid of the Ermine Mantle's saint had we reached the surface, but we cannot keep the genestealer's minions at bay while also watching the Palatine in case she turns>Ending it now would be a mercy>Even through my helmet, she can tell what I'm thinking>She'd be thinking the same were the situation reversed, no doubt>Yet she holds up her hand to wait, and reaches for her belt>My grip on my sabre-saw tightens, expecting some trick, some implanted instruction the genestealer would give to protect its brood>And then my eyes widen as I see her take out a vial of The Emperor's Tears, draining it dry>Let it never be said that the Emperor does not provide>Regardless, it is too early to rejoice>Faith is no excuse for a lack of diligence>It would be too much of a risk to allow her command without confirmation that the Tears do indeed live up to their reputation>Help Palatine Sara to her feet, and continue moving as fast as we can to the decontamination station at the entrance to the tunnels>The way becomes easier as we put distance between ourselves and where I can only presume the nest is>The brood appears... distracted>As if something has shaken their insidious shared mind>Something to ponder at a later time(1/2)
>>58570420>When we reach Hospitaller Dahlia's checkpoint, I note the bolt-ridden corpses surrounding it>Some military, some ecclesiastical, some civilian>As she begins our blood tests, I inquire about them"The contaminated. Vectors seeking to spread their pox by sabotaging our tools.">Genestealers are canny foes indeed>And especially foul>To my relief, all of the survivors are clear of infection>We live to die another day(2/2)
>>58569867>Be Fessus>So Apparantly Everything was dealt with>Just like that, no sweat >Nothing Big, or really worrying>No super grand plan for us to daringly and heroically foil.>Just a bunch of dead Traitor Guard and a whole lot of Everyone>Apparantly an entire Guard regiment, a some Space Marines, a rogues Trader, some more Space marines, The Sicarf sister’s and the Commissar’s AND their Baneblade were more than enough to handle it>well great, I feel let down.>I mean, don’t get me wrong I love not being in danger or dying, and being a Guardsman, we’re usually the first get put in danger or Die, >But come on, we never get to do anything cool!>whatever, least we’re all alive, can’t complain about that.>Well, since the chances to be big damned heroes are all gone, might as well just go home.>Wait What the fuck are thos->Oh shit Genestealers >And a Fuck ton of them too>They’re all being led by what presumably used to be a Sister of Battle who is now screaming about the Four-armed Emperor>Nope.avi>Marcus put your pedal to the medal and get us out of here>let’s Leave this to the people who are heavily armed and probably to important to die>some of them detach and start chasing us>of fucking course they are>unfortunalty for them, we’ve got a lot more guys with us now>and you know what they say about lasguns>”One lasgun does diddly squat, fifty lasguns does a helluva lot”>Gun them down through the side ports of the Chimera >But more just keeping coming>Some try and pop up ahead of us to stop us>Apparantly they done realize that pedestrian laws only >it’snotmurderifit’safilthyxeno.ha>Still though, there’s a LOT of the chasing us, >no matter how many we gun down they just keep coming,>don’t they have anything better to go after than a bunch of guardsmen?
>be Palatine Sara>feel like I got hit by a Rhino>lost the small hope I had for a one-and-done cure>can feel the Tears of the Emperor and the gene-transfer seed battling it out in my gut>have to stop to throw up some slimy green muck a few times>it's unpleasant to say the least>but I can run>make my way out with the Sisters of the Black Sepulchre>Barbastella gave me my guns back>take shots at cultists, but I actually miss a few of them>never a good sign>notice that the Genestealers that get near me tend to shy away>figure that pouring "anathema to the Warp" into someone connected to their hivemind might be something they find unpleasant>good, we're even>or will be, when that bug that infected me meet the Emperor's justice>Sister Dahlia and the other Sisters Hospitaler are reluctant to let me pass the checkpoint>apparently my tests are... inclusive>yeah, that's about how I feel>Barbastella vouches for me>not sure when I started thinking of her as a friend>guess us Palatines gotta stick together>wonder where the Canoness Superior is in all of this>reckon she's either got her feet propped up somewhere with a glass of something pleasant or she's burning someone alive>don't think that woman has a concept of "middle ground"
>Be Captain Thorn>Surprisingly disappointed by lack of anything going on inside the Governesses mansion>Just the usual assassination attempt with the Bishop, his wife, and numerous zealots running around fighting what I can presume to be Alpha Legion serfs>Was hoping for more Alpha marines but instead they send in fucking serfs>They probably have some sort of back up plan for this, or was the plan just to release genestealers and their own agents just to mess with us>Fucking Alpha Fags>During this course of torching everything my company gets a call from our commander"Captain Thorn, a large forces of xenos scum lead by a heretical sister shouting about a four armed Emperor is heading to the mansion. Eliminate the xenos">It was after this call the ground started shaking as if the planet itself wanted its existence to end>WTF>When my company positioned ourselves outside we saw what can make even the most stoic of the Sons of Dorn quake in their power armor>That something was a behemoth horde of genestealers that could rip Terminator armor to shreds running towards led by that Sister the Commander mentioned earlier>By that point me and my battle brothers just started firing at anything in sight while screaming prayers to the Emperor>MFW when I realize what its like to be the average Guardsman>MFW when I get the feeling the Genestealers were able to reproduce like Slaaneshi hive worlders due to Alpha Legion fuckery>Emperor preserve us
>Be Scar the genestealer>Be quite surprised and happy with the results of reckless tampering with the fabric of time>Seriously>Look at this shit>Purestrain fucking gene stealers>I started this cult like, two weeks ago>And now we have purestrains>They grow up so fast.sohappy>Seriously though, what the fuck is up with this planet?>What happened here that would result in being able to localize time acceleration to a single being or group of beings?>I don't even have to even do that myself anymore.>A fucking magus got born a few hours ago and is now an adult>Now he's handling the accelerated birthing and aging.>And purestrain grandkids are infecting civilians and fighting battles>Look how big I am now!>I'm a full on patriarch!>When did that happen?>We haven't actually had a Primus yet>I think that super dedicated sister of battle that I infected is now filling that role>look at my girl now.veryproud>Apparently she's assaulting this world's leader's mansion.>She's such a good girl>I hope she knows how proud daddy is of her>Now I'm taking some of my best purestrain grandkids and looking for Sara>She showed promise, but managed to ingest some naughty substance that's at least temporarily severed her connection to the brood network>She's going to be told not to drink strange liquids without her parent telling her to
>Be me, Drathor>The Last Crasher, The Problem Child>Be crying>Tears of joy>BugsBeGone.gif>Scampering about this refinery, left the dead>Gave them one last thank you before saying goodbye>That's twice now they've saved me>Still battered and bruised >Still aching from my shot>But no worries there>I can keep going >Belt is warm around me>Like a warm embrace >FeelsGood.gif>Found a nice place to get a nap>Air ducts within a ruined portion of the refinery>Tight fit for me to get in, the bugs won't be getting in here without me knowing >Need to get some rest>Still have a man to kill>Still probably going to need to get through half the damned Imperium if the alarms are anything to judge by>Not to mention The Family is probably not happy I've gotten loose>And Darlin' >Have a feeling she wouldn't bite it so easily>But for now, I can get some rest>Wait out whatever is going on out there>Come back stronger tomorrow>Cuddle up with my chain axe>Still smiling when I finally doze off
>>58571171>Be Colonel>after the clean up didn't get much time to talk to that marine cause some of the boys I brought with me said they needed me>fuckI'mbusyboys.leavemealone>something about seeing a massive horde of bugmen chasing a chiemra>by the emperor, there are some guardsmen out there>they need help but I got nothing to get to them>well looks like I can't help them sorry lads hopefully someone gets to you>move to the few men I have here (like 30 of them)"should we call for the rest of our troops sir?">fuck>we might need to bring the rest of the lads from the landing site>it would take them a few hours to get here"yea make the call, get the rest of the troops over here and start fortifying these steps, three firing lines, as usual">if only I had basilisks>mfw>time to find someone more qualified then me to deal with this shit show
>>58538435>It's not a game thread, they're green texts. /tg/ has always had tons of green text threads. No DM or plot or rolling, just posts trying to be funny that have formed into a loose narrative.Field Kit Inspection
>Be Sister Cecilia>Formerly of the Black Sepulchre>Now Brood Sister Primus of the Family>And what a glorious family it is!>I feel a sense of deep connection to my brothers and sisters in the brood, be they two, three, or four armed.>I especially feel connected to our most glorious father>The Four-Armed Emperor, the Scarred King who waits beneath!>With his kiss I was welcomed into a greater community!>No longer enslaved under the tyranny of nihilistic superiors and their stupid goth poetry!>Now I lead my brothers and sisters into battle!>I lead them on towards the Governesses mansion>The leaders of this planet will be welcomed to the Family>Or they will die>My purestrain brothers charge ahead of me>See ahead space marines showing that they do in-fact know fear>And fear is a group small horde of purestrain genestealers, each able to shred power armor with its claws, supported by an even larger horde of their lesser brethren>Led on by the most glorious daughter of the Family>PRAISE THE FOUR-ARMED EMPEROR!!!
>>58572117Don't die, we need more non-Imperium characters
>>58572117>Be me, Jaren Artorius, Primaris Sergeant>And I, along side more than two dozen of my fellow brothers from the second company, have just decided to crash this shitty genestealer party, while wearing Aggressor armor.>Morecomfortablethanterminatorarmor!.holo>Thousands upons thousands of Bolter shells are being spewed out, and basically dismembering infected as well as pure strain cultists, as we jump out of our repulsor tanks.>MFW we're launching fragstorm grenades at anything that even ATTEMPTS too look at us funny >They'regonnabepickinggenestealerchucksoutoftheirsoupforweeks.jpeg>Anything that attempts to get to close, is turned to paste by the will of our powerfists.>Thoughouroathsmaybebrokenwearestilltheirshields.Chaptermotto>Tell some Praetorian colonel to have his men rally on us, as we begin pushing back the plague that are these wretched Xeno collaborators.>We shall drive back these foes, and let their blood pool at our feet.>Wish Olga was here watching this
>>58572504>Be Colonel>some massive marine lads are in the fray yelling at us to come back them up, they're cutting through the mob>idk if we should or not, sounds like a bad idea>if only I had basilisks >eh fuck it, get the heavy weapon teams set up and get them firing on the horde>combead the marines"we have artillery firing into the horde, it would be better if we had tanks but the administratum has been ignoring us">I pray these suicidal marines don't die or my firing lines are next, and I love my firing lines
>>58572652>Be me, Jaren Artorius.>Be leading the charge, slaying hundreds of filthy cultists before they can get within 30 feet of us>Praetorian colonel comms me."we have artillery firing into the horde, it would be better if we had tanks but the administratum has been ignoring us">Can barely hear him over the sounds of a thousand bolter rounds per minute, being fired.>I merely tell him."Not only are we your shields, but we are your tanks, colonel. Let the Broken Shields take the brunt of their hatred, as you and your men knock out any nearby armor or heavy vehicles they may have. My Repulsor tanks will deal with the rest.">There truly is nothing better than protecting those who are innocent, and those whom do not need to fight.>Seriously wish Olga was here, watching this. She'd probably be impressed with the amount of purebreds we're killing.>Vox Sergeant Ervaren, whom is piloting the repulsor tank, "Destiny from within".>Tell him to have his tanks fly above the battlefield, and nail those bastards and their armor.>Here'swherethefunbegins.holo
>Be Sister Cecilia>Be ground leader of genestealer cult forces>Four-Armed Emperor damned chad marines>Brood brothers can't do anything>Purestrains can, but their stupid guns are too powerful and rapid fire.>Ask sugar daddy for anything to help with this situation>He says he'll send up a aberrant>Wait, just an aberrant?>I mean, daddy, I trust you, but just one?>He says I'll get it when the big boy gets there>Wait, "big boy"?>Ground begins to shake.>A lot.>Bursting through the ground, throwing the space marines around, is a fucking massive aberrant gene stealer hybrid>He's about the size of a Four-Armed Emperor blessed carnifex>He has a huge mining laser in the smaller arm, and its two large arms are massive rending claws>He picks up one of the space marines and rips him in half, eating the top half>Daddy contacts me>Apparently the aberrant is named "Tiny">The time methods by which hybrids are being proceed are apparently producing interesting results occasionally>Blessings of the Four-Armed Emperor.prayersanswered
>Be Tar Gwill, last of the Night Lords 83rd>Its been a little quiet >don't know what happened to the alphas and the xeno automata>don't care>At least I snagged some sick melta and stasis bombs >Finally hear some movement>Sounds like shouting...bold and fooling shouting>A whole command squad of ChadBastards>looks like in they are in a hurry to get some place>"""Silent mk.x armor"""">Follow them, maybe I could pick one or two off>Keep in step with the last one, they don't notice me>Maybe If I hit one in the back of the knee joint...>decide to wait for better time to strike>Were going upwards>Hear rumblings>hope there's no artillery going off above me>Watch as the mutants come to a ladder at a manhole>chads cant climb let alone fit through>somethingaboutcharlotte.warpvision>I see them grabbing grenades>concerned>They put the grenades in their bolter grenade launchers (because of course)>Their aiming at the ceiling>I hit the floor as they proceed to collapse the sewers>Sewer flooded with light>REEEEEEEEEEE>Automatic sunglasses deployed>See them standing in the rubble, light blazing off their golder armor>sickening>Creep through the sewage as they climb the rubble pile to the city streets>Scuttle after them>Pop head into warzone>Hoards of Golden Bastards>Hoards of genestealers>Chad marine spots me"Brother are you damaged?"
>>58572794>Be Jaren Artorius, primaris sergeant.>Inallmyyearsiveneverseenthemdothat.vox>Order all of the brothers on the ground to pull back and regroup.>Unlike some chapters, we know we can fall back and fire at the same time!>Order the repulsor tanks to target this abomination of humanity and Xenos inb-breeding.>Lastalons and lascannons begin opening up upon the beast.>Kingkongvsplanes.holo.>Expect these planes have multiple sets of lascannons that's can tear through the beast like a knife that's been heated to 1000 degrees, through Emperor brand mercy butter.>Watch as my fellow brothers split our fire between both the beast, and the cultists that are left.>Order the Praetorian colonel to pour everything he's got on the beast, while we take the brunt of its hatred and wraith.>Wearetheirshields!.vox
>>58572971>Be Sister Cecilia>Watch Tiny get impacted by Lascannon shots.>One strikes him in his chest and sends him stumbling backward, roaring in pain>Another shot severs one oh his arms>A third glandes his head, removing nearly a fourth of it>Tiny falls>Despair for fallen bother.pouroneout>Wait, no>Holy shit, he's getting back up and putting his arm back on, roaring triumphantly and unleashing a beam with his mining laser>Is he getting bigger>I call daddy>Daddy says that yeah, tiny is quite the unique aberrant.>He was apparently born this morning>Tiny apparently didn't even get the accelerated growth like the others>He literally went from a newborn to the size of a blessed carnifex in twelve hours>Has he gotten bigger since he emerged from underground?>Daddy says he was going to send Tiny out anyways because he was getting too big for the tunnels>Daddy says he doesn't quite know when Tiny will stop growing>Daddy says we MIGHT have a problem if the answer is "basically never" and kind of hopes that the humans will eventually kill him to stop that possibility>Necessary sacrifices.solemnnod>Rip a fleeing guardsmen's head off with enhanced gene strength>It's good being part of the family
>>58572794>Be Colonel>got a message back from the marines>said something about being our shields or something>I don't think he heard me>suddenly something big comes out of the ground>what the fuck is that?>um shit, we need to focus on that thing"ok all artillery pieces focus fire on whatever the fuck just came out of the ground">fuck fuck, gotta com the marines"uh mist marine sir, I think you should fall back, like run now, we have the cathedral steps fortified so you can pull back to our position and we have reinforcements coming in an hour or two">pray that the rest of the troops I brought to this shit show are both enough and get here in time>please>please>I don't wanna lose these marines
>Be Captain Thorn>Still screaming sacred chants to the Emperor>Turns out having to face down an unreasonable amount of armor ripping xenos on a hellhole of a planet can turn marines into followers of the whole God Emperor idea>So far prayers are somewhat answered with the massive wall of gene stealers being created by our combined fire>Though the part about having the genestealers tide end is not answered as more of them just keep climbing up Mt Genestealer>By this point the commander decides to what the screaming is about"Captain Thorn, why have you shown weakness in the face of such vile filth">"AAAAAAAAH">After a few more screams the commander decides that the rest of the Imperial Fists will join us in our defense and to show us proper conduct for the Sons of Dorn>Within a few minutes more scream accompanied us, only difference was the Chaplin was making speeches about getting these fucking bugs purged>Even when screaming with fear the Chaplin still sounded badass>To bad that didn't stop the fuck huge swarm from ending>Convinced by this point the Alpha Legion caused all this shit>Only got worse when some Blood Raven Guardsmen started shooting at us and the Genestealers>Fucking Alpha Legion
>be Medeth Absinthium, priestess of Slaanesh>have come up with a most brilliant plan>going to seduce one of the sisters and get her addicted to drugs>suddenly the streets below fill with some red armored guards, and the daemonette is back in my head, screaming something about an Alpha legion plot>a while later, a tank filled with the same flees down the other way, followed by a xenos horde>thisiswayabovemypaygrade.complaint>one of the xenos spots me, wanders into the building>nope>nopenopenopenopenope>the cathedral will probably be safe from the xenos>wait, the horde came from the direction of the cathedral>just pick a direction away from the horde and start scampering across the roofs>apparently I got plenty of exercise during the last bender, because this is easier than it looks>barely make a jump to another roof, pull myself up when I see the xenos still following me>can't hide, have no weapon, gotta keep running>hope someone will spot me and kill the xenos
>Be Tar Gwill, the last of the Night Lords 83rd>Chad Marine offers to help me up>I'm dumbfounded"You look a little worse for wear Brother">Armor still covered in blood and sewage"I..eh..Ahem...suppose I do">Try to lower my tone of voice"Well it looks like the emperor calls us to advance back to the cathedral">Golden Bastards are regrouping and falling back >look back at wave of xenos>Ill take my chances with the corpse worshippers
>>58569551>Be I, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim-Hann>And I'm waiting patiently>Allow me to explain, for those of you barely capable of grasping thoughts>FilthyMonKeighs.png>I am a Spiritseer>Spirits are only half of my job>Consider it a major of my study>I minored in divining the future>CompareThatToYourLiberalArtsDegree.png>I am at the edge of the icy wastelands>Still some snow, but before me is an expanse of what I can only call the most boring plain I have ever seen>And I've seen many a plain in my time>Be sitting atop a large snowbank>My arse is a bit chilly, but that's fine>I've seen the future, and I know the one I'm waiting to meet will be here soon enough>He's coming closer and closer, I can tell by the angry comments emanating from his unwilling passengers>Unsure who exactly I am looking to meet here, but I am hoping that if it's someone reasonable, we can conduct our business like civilized people>If it's a Mon'Keigh, or Isha forbid, a greenskin, I imagine I'll have to just put them down>ItWouldBeAKindnessToEither.jpeg>So here I sit, with my suspicious mind>All shook up, and waiting
>>58569660It looks like we got some new writers and a lot of the writefags from the first threads were busy with Saint Patrick's Day. Doesn't need to be a big deal. We'll just start the next thread immediately after this one. I think maybe we skip the after thread this time. If anyone has anything really important to say/ask they may as well just do it here.
>>58574602Too late to join in is the main question? I'm enjoying the read but there's a lack of Grandfather's love here.
>>58574666we had a nurglite cult early on but they got assblasted by something (check older thread), If you want i can try and smuggle some sick boys in if you don't want to send in your deathguard (or whatever else)
>Be Gor'Muncha>Iz been drivin' all noit, me 'ands wet on da weel>A voice in me 'ead dat drives me 'eel>Been a gud roadtrip>Been drivin' an singin' and laughin'>Managed ta krump an 'umie on da way>SPLAT.gif>Zog, dat wuz funny>But afta all dis toim, iz 'ere>See da boyz, gatherin round>Callz out ta dem>WAAAGH!!!.mp3>Dey izspecting me now>Drive on up>And 'ear wut wez gonna do>Boss 'as left da planet>We'z gonna git ready fer another foit wiff da 'umies>But not 'ere>And now, wez da last boyz on da wurld>Look ova ta see da roid outta 'ere>Da Mek just finish'd 'er>Sniffling now>Shez be-oo-tiful>Dats roit orky, dat iz>'Op aboard>Grab my grot>Strap inta me chair>EreWeGo.pngrot>Kountdown ta launch>5>4>3>Uh....>Wassit dat comes afta 3?>LAUNCH!
>Be me, Crusader Dietrich>Everything goes fine and dandy when suddendly>Explosion.meme>Some Blood Raven Inconography wearing guards storm the Cathedral getting in a firefight with various imperial forces>Whatsgoingon.png>More Blood Raven Soldiers with actual Blood Raven come to the battle, fighting against the others>Try my best to help out the side with the baneblae, who are imperial I guess
>>58574666There are more then twice as many Imperial characters, as there are for all the other factions, so feel free to jump on in.
>>58574666Never too late to join in. Just check out the earlier threads. I wrote a Nurglite Cult in the first thread, but I had them get immediately wiped out by the Bishop.
>>58574680give us more to shoot at and die to please, it'll be fun
>>58574680>>58574707>>58574721Deathguard coming in hot and spreading the glory of Grandfather then.
>>58566690>be me, Cαptain Marek Avalon, of the Broken Shield Chapter!>after a grueling battle in the lower hive fighting genestealers (who we wiped out without a loss) we were AMBUSHED by vile traitors of the alpha legion loosing many of our glorious battle brothers to SHAMEFUL bombs and mines that were dug underground!>however, after loosing our librarian in battle, we RALLIED and killed the alpha legionnaires to the LAST MAN!>I cut the last man's head off with my SUPER POWER SWORD>however, sadly only 5 battle brothers survived the ordeal, but we shall not fail, for we are PRIMARIS space marines!>we are now on our way back to SUPPORT our GREAT warriors at the front lines against this VILE and SADISTIC aberrant of the genestealers, who we will SLAY with BOLT and BLADE as the codex astartes guides us!
>>58574376>Be I, the illusive Ranger of the Saim-Hann>My name is not important, for what is important is what rangers do for the aeldari>as is becoming one with this frozen plain, seeing all in the forever encompassing white of the snow and ice that covers this land>for the rangers find paths for those unable to see lines in the sand, and waves in the grass>however, I am not plotting courses and finding paths at the moment>no>I am taking care of, and directly watching over a certain spiritseer who is quite the "boy too big for his britches" as those retarded Mon'Keigh might say>for he has already put the great wraith-guard, who he is SUPPOSED to protect and guide, in danger unnecessary more than once!>shocking, how far up his own spirit he is>regardless of how he treats his brethren, he has found the great lost wraithknight, something even I could not do>so therefore I shall still watch over our spiritseer, while he lies in wait for the bumbling carriage of Drukhari >i don't think he even knows who they are, otherwise he may be even more nervous than he is now>I shall do what I must, if the situation comes to such a point in time>which it probably will not
>Be me, Captain Ebolius Herpetus of the 7th Plague Company>Most blessed son of the PlagueFather and pretty Fungi - no literally - covered in it>Rumors sent even into the eye about total shit show on some pisswater planet>Loyalists of every flavor, Filfty Xenos, and even sororitas>Sororitas, gawd damn those Braaaaps would be perfect for Father Nurgle if shown dae wae>Not to mention the untold amounts of fallen Geneseed ripe for the picking>Unimanigable oppretunity to see how various plagues effect so many lifeforms at once>Time to get to work, stop being total neet.>After observing the worst of the firebombing from Orbit in comfy pus soaked seats, time to go>To be part of the first drop party, coordinants locked>Town with some shitty Goth Cathedral where most of the fighting is centered>Board drop pod with six of my battle brothers.>FORTHEPLAGUEFATHER.mp3>MOARBRAAAAAAAPPPPS.mp3>Overall shit landing, few miles away from Cathedral but moar time to spread the good word on the way.>Pod was nearly completely destroyed by impact and rust>Think the battle brothers might be dead>Noobs weren't disgustingly resilient enough>begin slow albeit unstoppable march to spread the good word>Blessings make it hard to maintain fast pace>Heh, are those tentacles in my pants or am I just happy to see you?
>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>And clearly, the Emperor still wants me to fight.>The city feels so much more welcoming and warm when the streets are full of burning traitors. >NotRetiredJustRealTired.gif>I've kept my forces centered around the Governess' mansion, cleaning up the endless tide of traitor forces.>I leave the big targets to the Marines.>I was initially a little concerned about the Marines being in or even near my home, but I'm fairly certain Sargent Thorn isn't a heretic. >HasntBitMeOnce.png>But, while our flamers are keeping them at bay, there doesn't seem to be any end to them in sight.>Pilgrams, guardsmen, even sisters have all been converted into monsters.>Clearly the organizations not directly under my control lacked the faith necessary to expel the Tyranid disease from their system.>Thats an issue I would need to address.
>Be me, guardsman>Get shot
>Be Sister Cecilia>Watch as Tiny, aberrant child of the Father, continues to wreck shit up>He's gotten bigger in the few minutes he's been out>Seriously, he was big as a damn carnifex when he crawled out from underground>But now he's nearing the height of a trygon or mawloc standing tall.>It's crazy>He shows no signs of stopping>Or dying>He's attracting essentially all the heavy weapons fire right now>It rips through his flesh and burns him away>But he just keeps regenerating and getting bigger>Father says this might be a problem if he doesn't stop eventually>However, for the moment this is a good thing>Also a good thing is the constant stream of various hybrids and purestrains pouring fourth from underground>These new ones seem to be rather reckless in attacking the uninfected>Daddy says that's because there's actually too many to feed anymore so some need to die>Wat.jpg>The sewers all over this part of the planet are just constantly disgorging genestealers>Okay then>I gather up all the brothers around me, whistle for Tiny, and make a push for the Governess' mansion
>>58574796Who the fuck Wrote this shit? Not me that's for sure
>>58574796>Be me, the REAL Marek Avalon, Captain for the Broken Shields second company.>Wowthatsalotofdamage.holo>Every genestealer and alpha legionarie is dead and burned to a crisp.>Whocouldhavedinethis.jpeg>My men and I look around the area for a while, looking for any information to help fight back against the forces of chaos.>By the Emperor, who ever did this, destroyed any useful information as well.>Bettheblacktemplarsdidthis.vox>Decide to make our way back, as vox reports are coming in about some ungodly large, and near unkillable xeno.>Sigh, as we make our way back.>Stop halfway there, as we discover one of the tunnels is still smoking, and covered in the bodies of space marines.>Thatsalottadamage.gif>Upon closer examination, realise that they are wearing our chapter motiffs!>I didn't send any of our brothers down this way.>Betthealphalegiondidthis.png
>>58577287Think he's taking the piss a bit, my dude.
>be Canoness>but really, just Konstanzia right now>the local government is spending all their time worrying over the Genestealers>but in the end such an infestation should be a small inconvenience to defenses like the ones in Angels' Landing>the Alpha Legion were the real threat>their false flag attack on the Cathedral was obviously intended to stir the Sisters up against the Blood Ravens>they must've intercepted my threat to Morgensen>but why go through with it after intentionally tipping their hand to us with the Legionnaire body?>does this planet's unbridled discord affect their ability to plan as much as ours?>or are they just feigning incompetence to draw me into a mistake?>can't answer any of those questions>so rather than pursue any of the courses of action that they might have wanted me to take, I did what I knew they didn't expect>absolutely nothing>ordered full defensive deployment, instituted measures to root out the Genestealer infestation, sequestered the Bishop and Governess with a full guard of Sororitas on top of their own troops>and fucked right off>took my bodyguards, took Sisters Charlotte and Olga and Terese, told Lydia to drive>turns out Sister Terese really has been helping a group for war widows>thought that was just a euphemism>picked them up and sealed all of us within the newly exorcised and renovated interior of the fallen Titan near the square>brought my personal wine stock>played board games>told old stories>teased Olga over her Mary Sue boyfriend>Terese cooked dinner>got to know them all a little better>all in all, a very nice night>let the Alpha Legion pull their hair out over what my plans must be>they wasted their traitor Guard attacking the Cathedral, where I wasn't>they spent effort trying to bait out troops I was never going to deploy>when the enemy has planned for every decision you can make, there's nothing you can do without playing into their hands>sometimes the only winning move is not to play
>Be Scar>Be genestealer patriarch>Wow...>Kind of taking over the planet right now>Less because we're going to kill all the leaders and destroy their military>More to the fact that that we're going to outnumber the humans in like a week>The breeding pit is simply streaming out hybrids at this point>Whatever power was used to speed gestation and aging has kind of just started fueling itself through the psychic energies of the newborns>Seriously, how is this happening?>Not that I'm complaining, it's just a weird thing>But seriously, how is this happening?>What is with the fabric of the immaterium on this planet?>Doesn't matter>>58577441>Oh look, some of those big space marines>One of them has a fancier hat than the others>Calling the brood to me.synapticnetwork>Have about ten purestrains ready to jump>We all pounce on the marines at the same time>Rip and tear.salughter>Many marines dead>Just the captain left>I lick my lips menacingly>The other genestealers circle around>He's surrounded
>>58577626So that's where all the humor was.
>>58575218>Be me, Governess and Bishops Little Angel>tfw when you get back to home,the first thing is a call where to hear reports about genestealers in the sewers going rampage>tfw the second thing is a second call reporting that the some traitor guardsmen are running a false flag attack on the cathredral>tfw the third thing is a third call, this time from the portier of you mansion that there are large alpha legion forces marching to your mansion>Oneofthesedaysagain.gifGrab Sword and Infernopistol, get into combat gear, try to contact the other forces and tell them to retreat into the mansion if thing really get down the hill, tell servants about it>Fortifythismansion.png>But God-Emperor I hope they fucking let the carpets clean>Iamtohotforthisshit.png
>>58578219>Be Tiny>But also be big?>Size confuses Tiny>Daddy says it doesn't matter>Lots of men in tin cans are shooting at Tiny>Daddy says they are bad>Tiny agrees, and Tiny scoops a few more of them up and throws them at buildings>Ha!>Look at 'em squirm>Oops, stepped on my little brothers>Sorry guys>Too big.sad>I wanna go back home>Daddy says I'm too big now.>Daddy says I can have the big fancy house>He calls it a mansion>Okay then>I skip to the mansion>Fifteen people are crushed beneath my twisted feet.>Get to the mansion.>Still seems a bit small for me>Maybe it's bigger inside?>I stick my massive head through the wall>Lots of little humans are inside and screaming>Hello little humans! My name is Tiny! I am big!>That's what I would say if I could talk with my mouth.>It just comes out as "Blergulflergugru">Ow, the little humans are shooting my face
>Be Tau Water Caste>Where am I?>Let's see...>Was going to go attempt to...>Ugh, copulate>With any high ranking females among the humans>In order to open negotiations>By order of the ethereals>I bet the fucking Farsight enclaves don't have to deal with this shit>Let's see, I was going towards that big cathedral...>Then I got hit by a car a think.>That would explain the pounding headache>Wait... No>The headache's from those space marines putting things in my brain>The aching of all my bones is from being hit by a fucking APC>Wait... space marines?>Oh yeah... those Alpha Legion guys kidnapped me last time I was here, but then they et me go after some electro therapy>Those guys were pretty nice>Unfortunately, fucking orders of the ethereal>Gotta go find a female human leader to bang>Why did he have to specify that order like that?>Well, I'm in some ruins now, alone>What's all that screeching?
>Be Original Commissar>Debating whether this city is worth it or not>On one hand the IG regiments actually have a place to stay that isn't a tent>On the other hand, the entire city is flowing with Genestealers>No really, there is a fucking mountain of genestealers in front of the mansion>To top it all off, we still have to deal with the Alpha Legion Shenanigans which is making this city a living hell>Leadership has no idea what to do with the Canoness getting her gang and playing some sort of game of cards in the dead Titan, Bishop boy is doing his usual of burning everything, and me and future me are just trying to keep these damn things off the tank and gathering any guard forces we can find>Emperor damn I actually wish I went with the veteran stormtrooper regiments from this planet, wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit>Then through some miracle, the fleet containing said stormtroopers arrives and makes contact with me"My lord, what type of fuckery is going this time that requires all of us to return home">"I will tell you later, just get ready to flatten this city like its a traitor legion homeworld on my command.">Guy seems reluctant but agrees>Tell all remaining loyal IG forces in the city to make a tactical withdrawl, inform the other leaders to withdraw their forces due to the city destiny of turning into another rock pile>After all thats done future me just drives the Baneblade as fast as it goes>Turns out speeding baneblades are effective against Genestealer hordes>To bad it will ruin the fucking paint job>Fucking Genestealers
An aside to genestealer anon; you're doing alright, but you're starting to pass "serious threat" and move to "kinda bullshit" with the psychic speed gestation. Would suggest calming it down a tad.
>>58578496>Be me, Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop>And there is a massive Tyranid monster looming over my home.>Scratch that, bursting INTO my home.>NeverHeardOfKnocking.png>My wife is in that mansion!>And my stuff is in that mansion!>My troops begin pouring fire on the Titan sized Tyranid, but it's not doing any good.>There's no time to think.>NeverDoAnyway.chosenone>My holy Heavy Flamer may be an ancient relic that's been used by holy men for thousands of years >But I JUST built that mansion.>Take off my promethium pack and order several of my men to do the same.>Charge the creature, throwing our packs at its feet while its head is stuck in my home.>Run for cover while yelling to the troopsGRENADES>Hear the explosion and feel the heat behind me as I turn around a corner
>be Tyranid hive mind>Hive Fleet Marabbecca>see a nice, delectable, poorly defended and decently populous world>set the fleet's course to devour it>by the time our first bioships get there the place is crawling with a dozen different armies for no good reason>our advance forces get largely wiped out>a big portion of the planet's valuable biomass gets wiped out anyway>fine, not worth our time>we'll leave it alone>set a course for another system>then most of the enemies leave>the main remaining population center looks poorly defended>fine, easy pickings>muster our remaining planetside Tyranids to take it>apparently everyone else had the same idea>what do the green ones even want with biomass?>many of our remaining synapse creatures get killed>alright, okay>fair play>fool us twice, shame on us, right?>get signals from a Genestealer Patriarch within the population>the main city is well on its way to being pacified>and what's more, it somehow has a way to vastly accelerate gestation and growth rates>easily pickings and invaluable adaptations for the Hive Fleet>we just have to go and take it>....>okay>turn the Hive Ships back around>maybe the third time is the charm>but this had better be worth it this time
>>58574376>Be me, sybarite Drazar>Be rolling in dough>fucking decked out with all the cool shit >thank the gods that I found the dead archon>be zooming over barren tundra for more battlefield loot>see something in the distance >something big and shiny>I can almost feel the superiority complex ruminating from this figure>diffinately a craftworlder>no one is that pretentious>go faster towards it>spirit stones start shining and getting hotter>that ain't a good sign but fuck it>jet bike starts making a whining noise>it gets louder>ohshit.jetbike>engine fails just as I get into a good visual range >Jetbike crashes and slides >thing stops literally feet before the craftworlder>awkwardsilence.mandrake>speak up "Greetings, kinsman.">manage to say it without stuttering>the laughing god hates me
>>58580542>Be I, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim-Hann>Be honestly trying to hold back some laughter>Atleast my guest knows how to make an interesting entrance>Reminds me of my days in the Shining Spears>Didn'tLookNice.jpeg>And thank Khaine, it's an Eldar>Perhaps not one of my own kin, but worlds better then any Mon'Keigh>Raise a hand"Greetings, you have come across something that I have come to retrieve.">I know he knows what I'm talking about"I would be grateful if you would give me the spiritstones, no doubt their Craftworlds ache for their safe return.">Figure this being will want to ask a price, but I'm curious to see what are more....imaginative dark kin can come up with for such a thing
>>58580165>Be Tiny>But also be big>It's confusing>All the little humans are screaming and shooting my face>Ow>That hurts>Not nice at all>I'm gonna eat you for that>I grab one of the little humans>Hot little thing with fairly stylish wargear>Hear one of the other humans scream "It's got the governess!">What's that mean?>Whatever>Before I can have my snack, somebody ruddy sets my back on fire>OW!>Seriously, that's not very nice>I'm outta here>Gonna take my snack later>I run away, snack in hand>She's trying to stab my hand and light me on fire with a little flamer>Does nothing>Daddy made a strong boy.happy>See a big building, I'm gonna go up on top of it>Seems like the right thing to do>Get away from all those guys with the fire.>Climb up the cathedral, pretty snack in hand
>>58580105You've got a good point. The Alpha legion or somebody should probably go deal with that.
>Be Tar Gwill, the last of Night Lords 83rd>The long war isn't going too good today>Stuck with in the middle of what looks like am entire company of vile bastard marines>And on the other side of them is horde of xenos>The sons of Dorn are here too I guess>Vox is being bombarded>"SHAMEFUL AMBUSHES">"UNPENATRABLE SHIELD">"GLORIOUS STANDS">"UNSPEAKABLE TYRANID">"C O D E X S U P O R T S T H I S A C T I O N">turn off vox>Can still hear them shouting through their helms >pain>Priority signal comes through>Alphas need someone to deal with these genestealers>Ill pass, thank you
>>58579784>Be Colonel>got a call in from one of them commissars >telling us to fallback> he obviously doesn't get that we're the only thing defending these stairs>and that we have no way of moving it quickly, got no chimeras>might Vox him back to tell him our problem >fuckingcommissarstellingmewhattodo.agnry moustache "Uh sir I regret to inform you that my troops' and my retreat may not be able to go through, mainly because we are the only thing defending these stairs and that we would have no way of getting out fast enough, as we have no chimeras, so unless by some miracle the administrator sends me the tanks I wanted I won't be able to get out of here">I guess it may be our time to die>I do hope not but if it is what the emperor wants I will not argue>I'll simply repel this horse as much as we can>I hope the sisters got away in all this >to everyone here may the emperor protect
>>58580722>Be Planetary Governess>This Giant Tyranid Monstrosity breaks to the wall, more precise its head, eats some promethium and than grabs me with one of his tentacles>IWasLongEnoughInASlaaneshCultToKnowWhereThisIsGoing.png>Climbs with me on the Cathredal, try to free myself, stabbing and burning as I can>Finally i get free>Sorry, but Tentacles aren't just my thing anymore>Try to climb down the giant arm, using my sword and its pustles and horns as help>Works surprinsingly well, altough its pretty disgusting>I know this tight grib of mine would be usefull someday
>>58581431>>58581206>Be me, Jaren Artorius, Primaris Sergeant>this shit is getting out of hand, way too fast.>That beast just blew right through the defensive line around the mansion.>It's killed half the damn Praetorians, as well as six of my brothers, and has left another four brothers badly injured.>Wait... What's it doing now?>Oh. It's got someone.>Oh! That's the governess.>...>.....>FUCK! ITS GOT THE GOVERNESS!>AND NOW ITS CLIMBING THE CATHEDRAL! WITH THE GOVERNESS!>This shit is getting old, REAL FAST>Oh hell yes! She just managed to escape it's clutches.>Wait... That's a bad thing.>No wait! I'm starting to get one of those headaches with pictures.>An idea!>This could work in our favour.>Quickly order two of the repulsor tanks prepare to open fire upon the arm that the governess is holding onto for dear life, whilst the other one gets into position.>>58581206>While this happening, I order the Praetorian colonel to load up what's left of his troops into our two grounded repulsor, whilst they begin their targeting rituals.>We've got one chance to make this work.
>>58581431>Once everything is in place, I shout out to all my remaining brothers."OPEN FIRE!">Lascannons, missiles, heavy and regular Bolter rounds, and even fragstorm grenades all begin impacting upon the beasts arm, quick tearing it off its body.>This has the side effect of causing the Governess to fall off, and make her way towards her death.>Wegotdis.gif>Tell out to brother Garrus."DO IT NOW!">With speed and tactical precision the likes of which has probably never been seen, brother Garrus, whom is driving the repulsor tank "Shield of Our father's", spins into its sides, as it passes underneath the falling arm, and governess. Its side door opened up, and a brother holding onto the side of it.>Deja vu.mp3>My brother manages to grab hold of the governess as the exact last moment. Her entire momentum transfered to his armor, as he is sent flying back inside the repulsor trip bay.>Right before the arm manages to impact it, brother Garrus floors his tank at a speed I never thought possible for a repulsor tank. Sending it flying away from the beast and it's falling arm.>MFW this stupid plan actually WORKED, and the governess is safe and sound!>Now to deal with this shit...
>>58581431>Be Tiny>But also big?>Doesn't matter>Pretty snack got out of my hand>She is very angry>She Cut off one of my fingers and is now crawling across my arm like a bug>That's gross!>I try to shake her off but she's gripping on really tight.>>58581638>>58581710>Then all those tin can guys start shooting at me>Ow!>They shot my arm off, and the snack fell into their bucket.>Uh oh, I'm falling>Wow...>I'm really high up>Crashes through ceiling of the cathedral>very ow
>be Sister Holliday of the Golden Light>Avenger strike fighter pilot>making close air support runs down the streets>DangerZone.mp3>destroy a commandeered enemy truck with the lascannons>hell yeah, right on>my rear gunner tries to get my attention>she points at the Cathedral>Holy Emperor>the mother of all Genestealers is hanging from the spire>pull a fast chandelle turn to get back up and around>feel the rotary gun revving up to speed under my feet>hose the top of the steeple with bolt cannon fire
>>58581431>Be me, the Best Seneschal in the Ecclesiarchy>And of course things have gone to shit again.>Everything is on fire, there is a Tyranid STD spreading around, and the Governor's Whore of a Daughter is currently taking on some hulking tentacled monstrosity >So pretty much the usual. >LazySundays.png>Someone even finally got the flamer away from the little pyromaniac that pays my salary. >Though the only difference that's making for me is that he isn't pointing one at me while he demands air support. >I try to explain that the sister-fucking dipshits that make up his "glorious crusade" don't have a lot of trained pilots amongst them. >But as I feel my feet start to leave the ground, I remember that he's got bionic strength enhancements but nothing boosting his mental capacity beyond the rest of these yokels.>DidYouNotHaveYourNap.gif>Out of options, I suggest I might have something but that the cogboys won't be happy about it.>He says that the cogboys are heretics anyway. >Good enough for me. I send in the order to release the drones. >A swarm of heavy Tau drones starts doing flybys on the Tyranid.>Specifically direct two of them to float over to the Governor's Whore of a Daughter as she tries to climb down. >Don't think any of these idiots realize the shitstorm this is going to cause. But hey, I was under orders. It won't be on me.
Hitting bump limit soon, think it's probably better if we make a discussion thread instead of pushing on even though we haven't actually hit a nice bookend.
>>58581815>Be Tau Water Caste>Be wandering around an active war zone>Super fucking lost>Suddenly, Tau drones fly overhead, shooting at a huge genetealer thing>Have the Fire Caste finally arrived! >Yay!>Wait, what's that?>Get crushed by a falling giant genestealer arm
>>58581864Yeah, seems like we have a bit to talk about. Make one if you don't mind.
>>58577699>Be me, Captain Marek Avalon.>The be the captain for the Broken Shields second company.>Bastard genestealer and his pure strains, have just slaughtered fifteen of my brothers, including Librarian Vurulus.>Pissedasfuck.jpeg>It is now me and my sword, versus a genestealer patriarch, and 10 purestrains.>Thisisgonnabefun.vox.>Watch as the pure strains charge at me from all possible angles. Their claws razor sharp, and dripping with the blood of my brothers.>I dick underneath one of them as he lunges towards me. Causing him to hit his buddy that was doing the same.>A quick side slash, cuts another directly in half. Lighting him aflame from my blade.>use my off hand to pull forth my bolt pistol, before shoving it into the mouth of another purestrain as it lunges at me.>Noweatyourmedicine.vox>Brains everywhere.>I'm sadly forced to drop my pistol, as a claw cuts it in half.>Fuckyouthatwasmine!.gif>Grab the claw that did it with my open hand, and tear it off, before stabbing it into the neck of another pure strain.>This is actually starting to get exhausting.>Shove my knee into the face of another purestrain. Breaking it's jaw in a glittering of blood and teeth, as the force sends it spinning off into its buddy.>Forced to clench my teeth in pain, as the last purestrain manages to stab a claw into my side. Sending a shower of blood and viscera spewing forth from my body.>Give a thrust of my sword into the gut of the last pure strain, before pulling the blade through its side, and nearly cutting it in half.>Look directly at the genestealer patriarch through my helmet lense.>Breath heavy, exhaustion apparent, and the blood of both myself, and its brood, covering my metalic orange armor and red cape.>We'rejustgettingstarted.png
>>58581864We should make another story thread. If we put it off for another week then people are going to forget details.>>58580618>be me, Sybarite Drazar>can almost taste the arogence of the man before me>fuckingcraftworlders.wav>feel spirit stones going nuts in pocket>oh shit he knows I have them>ain't gonna part with them for free though >one stone can get you a fucking raider>twelve can buy a fucking spire"What will you offer in exchange, kinsman?">chuckle inwardly>in no fucking way can he make me part with them >but I think I can fuck with him some more"Allow me to... call a pick up. So we may deal in peace.">oh man the Archon is gonna have some fun with this>Ismellapromotion.gif
>>58582172We'll do the next story thread immediately after discussion thread.
>>58582172>Be me, El'Vish, Spiritseer of Saim-Hann"No, I don't think that will be necessary.">Send a pulse of thought>Snow bank beneath me rises up, spraying the area with frost and ice>Hyun Dog stands towering above my guest, maw open and growling>Tails wagging, my pup is clearly in a playful mood>Beneath his legs, Prys'Ellia stands, raising her weapon, trained upon the man who holds my kin>And I, El'Vish, reach out with my mind, into his own>These dark kin, they like to think themselves safe within their dark city>However, they possess a key weakness>They fear to use their minds>My own abilities as a psyker are quite considerable>It is child's play if I wish to utilize such a thing upon him>I speak into his thoughts"I offer you a chance to be freed from your place in Commorragh. I sense your....caution on returning to those you call brother. I offer you a place of comfort and purpose with myself, upon my Craftworld, where you might grow and prosper away from that darkness.">Look down upon my beast and my loyal guard"I also offer you the chance to do this without suffering an assault, and I would be truly appreciative if you'd comply."
>>58581638>Be Colonel>thank the god emperor>we're not going to die today>thank the marines who kindly let us use their > get what's left of my men left in to those tanks and move as much equipment as we can get in there>we're not gonna die today>but I still don't get my emperor damned tanks >thanks adimistratum >bunch of arseholes.moustache"All right lads time to move out and pray we don't today and let's move out and get our arses out of here
>Be Tar Gwill, last of the Night Lords 83rd>Lines are retreating to a massive cathedral>massive cathedral also seems to have a massive genestealer on it>I've had enough of these false marines, worshiping false emperors, in this farce of of city>creep off into cathedral>filled with odious corpse idols>find entrance to lower levels>start planting melta bombs on the supports>still cant read alfa>set bombs explode in "5" somethings>should be enough time>We built this empire, we can bring it down>AveDominusNox.monolog>another glorious advance out the back of the cathedral>see some horrific grav tank flying around>thats my ticket