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  • File : 1252641723.jpg-(45 KB, 501x381, ML_fire.jpg)
    45 KB /tg/ plays Morton's List, Day 3 The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:02 No.5810569  
    Good evening, welcome back.

    Let us, once again, play Morton's List, shall we?

    What's Morton's List, you ask?

    It is the Random Reality game, the End to Boredom.

    Random Reality means that you, the player, are charged during the course of the game to actually go out and do something in the real world. What you do is determinate on the roll of the dice, the Morton Boulder, a d30

    There are 13 tables (categories), each with 30 different Quests that could be performed. These 390 Quests cover almost everything that anyone could find entertaining.

    I started giving out Quests two nights ago, with a 48 hour time limit, so this evening's thread should have trip reports of fa/tg/uys' Quests, in addition to the dispensing of new ones.

    Rules of play to follow in the next post:
    >> Rules, Regulations, Guidelines, Bylaws, etc The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:04 No.5810607
    Rules To Play:
    1) Post here expressing your willingness to act on the whims of fate and Karma. Becoming a name and/or tripfag for the duration of this event is advised for identification purposes. By agreeing to receive a quest, you vow to do the best you can to try fufilling your quest over the next 48 hours.

    2) I shall roll the Morton's Boulder and consult the Lists. I don't use the diceroller for two reasons: Better built-up karma in my own boulder, and sometimes rerolls are required, so just rolling 2d30 won't always suffice.

    2.5) Wait patiently for your quest. I'm rolling these things by hand, checking the lists and tables, and typing up descriptions and advice, usually for a few quests at a time.

    3) I will assign you your quest, answer any questions about it, and send you on your way.

    4) You will do your best to complete your Quest over the next 48 hours, spending at least 1-2 hours on it, and give a report on how you fared at Midnight (0:00) Eastern time Sunday. You are allowed to enlist the aid of friends to help you out, and, in fact, are encouraged to do so. Normally, Morton's List is a group game.
    If you are unable or strongly unwilling to perform your assigned quest due to age/transportation/money/legal/religious issues, please say so when given your quest, and I shall roll you a new one.

    5) Have fun.

    READ THIS) Due to me being tired as fuck, I will only be giving out Quests for the next 60 minutes. After which time, I'm passing out until I return tomorrow midnight Eastern for the next round.

    With that said, bring on the volunteers and the triumphant victims from Tuesday/Wednesday Night
    >> Funktipus !.KY5SAJXwc 09/11/09(Fri)00:07 No.5810638
    Shit, I'm in for this. Gimme a quest.
    >> Guardsman Twik 09/11/09(Fri)00:09 No.5810669
    Alright, tonight I get one! Sign me up!
    >> The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:16 No.5810772
    Glory to the first man stepping up to the line! Let's see what fate has in store for you.

    You've rolled a 23, considered a chaotic number by some, and like the Four Gods of Chaos, the dice has seen fit to grant you a ~RANDOM MUTATION~

    A Mutation is an additional, personal challenge to undertake while performing your (to-be-rolled) Quest, some sort of quirk or behavior modification to be undertaken. A quick roll on the Mutation table gives you number 28, The Whole Truth. This Mutation is simple, you can not lie over the course of your Quest. Don'r necessarily have to answer every question, but the answers given must be truthful.

    Anyway, onto your Quest proper. Another roll gives you a 9, throwing you to the table of Mortal Ties (dealing with interactions, relationships, meetings, and associations with other people) Rolling the actual Quest gives you the best number in the game, 30. 30, on this table, opens The Window, giving you not one, but THREE Quests from Mortal Ties to choose from, those being the following:

    24. Conduct a Survey: plan and execute a survey of some sort to a group of people.

    25. Fast Talking: Walk up to a random person, and engage them in as long of a continuous conversation as you can. Said conversation can (and should) cover anything and everything you care to talk about.

    26. On The Move: Embark on a journey, voyage, trip, or leisurely jaunt under the conveyance of another person. Take a bus, a taxi, a horse-drawn carriage, a rickshaw, get pulled in a wagon. Enjoy the scenery, and be sure to tip the driver.

    Your possibilities are great. Good luck, and have fun.
    >> Anonymous 09/11/09(Fri)00:19 No.5810801
         File1252642795.jpg-(309 KB, 529x529, fuklaw.jpg)
    309 KB
    >Four Gods of Chaos
    >> Random NPC !gAxUEKU3qU 09/11/09(Fri)00:21 No.5810833
    Hey, I got here late last night, roll me up please.
    >> Funktipus !.KY5SAJXwc 09/11/09(Fri)00:21 No.5810836

    Wow, those were some pretty awesome rolls. I'll probably go with the survey, though I'll need to think about what/where to take it. Will most definitely report back.
    >> jason, commoner 09/11/09(Fri)00:22 No.5810846
    >> The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:26 No.5810905
    Truly, the dice wish to give our first Questers an array of choices. You have been gifted with the roll of a 3, opening the Gateway. Like the Window, you get three quests to choose from, but they will not be three consecutive quests from one list. They will (most likely) be from three different Lists. Variety is the spice of life.

    24, the list of Chaos (Freedom, the lack of inhibitions, unconstrained by stifling conventions), 15, the Quest of Snack Bandits. Never say there's no such thing as a free meal, for that, essentially, is this Quest. You are tasked to find and/or take as much free food (or food you don't have to pay for) as you can/want. Hit up a supermarket for free samples, dress like a hobo and hit up a soup kitchen, dress like a buddhist monk and panhandle door-to-door for snacks. (Disclaimer: Morton's List is not liable if you violate any laws)

    Your second Quest is...
    Oh dear.
    Where 30 is the best number in Morton's List, 13 is the worst. It is the number of bad karma, of negation and cancellation. Rolling a 13 in the Gateway subjects you to the Vortex of Doom. As penalty for this unlucky roll, you forfeit one of your three potential Quests from the Gateway. However, one more still remains.

    That Quest hinges on the roll of an 8, the table of Mortal Ties, and the roll of a 6. Your second and final quest choice is the Quest of the Cookout. You are tasked to cook and eat food in an outdoor setting. Fire up the barbeque, the grill, the bonfire pit, a hibachi, a dead hobo, and cook something. Invite your friends and neighbors, make it a party!

    Your possibilities are great, and the end result, no matter the quest, should be filling and satisfying. Good luck, and Allez Cuisine!
    >> Guardsman Twik 09/11/09(Fri)00:33 No.5811003
    Alright! I'm having me a cookout! Probably on a bonfire of some kind. Whoo!
    >> Savant Kalek 09/11/09(Fri)00:37 No.5811069
    Roll me up something good please.
    >> The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:39 No.5811088
    Next up, we begin with a... good lord, the mighty 30
    30 is the number of ascension, completion, and enlightenment. Rolling a 30 straight off ascends you to the List of Life, a more esoteric collection of Lists which can cover the good, neutral, and evil within humanity. Don't be intimidated, but go boldly forward.
    On the List of Life, we then roll a 9, bringing you to the list of the Yang of the Sky, dealing with the goodness within all our hearts. Your quest is number 28 on this list, Good Samaritans. You are charged with the task of going out and selflessly helping others. Volunteer as a homeless shelter, go donate blood, hit up a heavily parked-in lot or street and make sure people's parking meters don't run out. There are many possibilties, and the result will be a happy glow of positive karma. Good luck, and have fun.

    You are consigned to the night. That is, a roll of 22 deposits you into the List of Nightscape, dealing with activities that tend to be performed in the evening. The Morton's Boulder is on fire this evening, another roll of 30 brightening your path with a gaze through the Window. Choose from the following 3 quests

    19. Trash Jackals: Explore a scrapyard, junkyard, landfill, or dumpster and seek out the discarded treasures of the day.

    20. Open 24 Hours: Hit up an open-all-night business of some sort to seek entertainment and/or companionship. Play hide&seek (or redneck scavenger hunt) in a Wal-Mart. People-watch in a hospital ward. Chat up the overnight workers at a gas station. Hit on the people working the diner at 4 AM. These are but suggestions, the possibilties are many, the sleep deprivation will be worth it.

    21: Naughty-Nerdy Action: Basically, use your ingenuity and intelligence to pull of tricks, pranks, and shenanigans against the nighttime public. The darkness can help to conceal many a gambit. Please don't get shanked while attempting this.

    Good luck, and have fun!
    >> kita !!LMLhJBY6p0P 09/11/09(Fri)00:39 No.5811091
    I humbly ask for a quest sir.
    >> Mister Mister 09/11/09(Fri)00:40 No.5811101
    Would you kindly tell me what I'll be doing this weekend, Table Master?
    >> jason, commoner 09/11/09(Fri)00:45 No.5811171

    the dice gods have smiled upon me, my insomnia finally has a purpose
    >> The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)00:47 No.5811199
    The start of this post is a callout. Many Quests were given out two nights ago. Only one of those Questers has reported back here on the success or failure of their task, and that person turned their report in early, last night.

    Now on to the quest for:

    We begin with a 25, meaning you've gotten too near the glowing ooze and have suffered a ~RANDOM MUTATION~

    Have I yet to roll a vanilla Table:Quest this evening without a mutation or window or list change? I don't think so. Ah well, more entertaining quests. Anyway, your Mutation is filed under the number 1, classified as Hollywood Havoc. While performing your Quest, you must assume the role of a television/movie/book/comic/videogame/anime persona to the best of your ability. Mannerisms, voice, posture, etc. Let's see what Quest you get, and the hilarious synergies possible.

    A roll of 18 brings you to the List of Mountain, dealing with physical activities. Your challenge is number 15: Primitive Arms. Your sport is that of low-tech and historical throwing/projectile weaponry. Blowguns, javelins, slings, large rocks, small animals, boomerangs.

    A suggestion: Self-narrate your adventure to whack people with a boomerang, as Crocodile Dundee.

    Good luck, have fun, and record a video if you can, because this one sounds highly entertaining.
    >> Cooltrainer Vekter !OIqMj3oAUI 09/11/09(Fri)00:48 No.5811216
    I'll take you on.
    >> Cpt.Fail 09/11/09(Fri)00:52 No.5811268
    Request a quest Mr. Table Master!
    >> Moving along before I pass out The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)01:00 No.5811364
    For you, a roll of 9 and the Mortal Ties table. The dice, in addition to giving variety and non-basic Quests, seems to want more people to socialize this evening. Anyway, the quest rolled is also number 9 (number 9, number 9, number 9...), meaning you will be undertaking Diverse Pathways. This one is probably best done in a group. Your Quest is to assume the role of a different social clique/role/stereotype than what you normally are, and go about impersonating a person of that type to the best of your abilities. Enjoy yourself, and good luck.

    And for you, a roll of 26 mea-ohgodthegameisdistorting
    A Deviation is like a Mutation, but instead of altering the behavior of the Quester, it alters one or more of the mechanics of the Quest itself. Another way to liven things up. Your Deviation is number 11, Ground Zero. Whatever Quest you receive, you can not perform it at your home/dorm/library/office/wherever you're reading this now. You must undertake it in a different location. If vehicles are available, 5 miles is a good distance. If by foot, a few blocks works.

    Anyway, your Quest away from Home will spawn from the roll of 21, the List of Vision Quest (Dealing with imagination, creativity, the arts, etc) Quest number 9 is Book of Spells, a bit more esoteric than the usual Quest. You are tasked to learn and perform at least one pagan/wiccan/shamanistic/satanic/shinto/masonic/catholic/pastafarian/etc spell/ritual. If you're lucky, it might even work. Coupled with your Deviation, might I suggest a nice public park or graveyard? Good luck, and Blessed Be, or something along those lines.
    >> Cutting You Off The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)01:01 No.5811378

    The requests above this one will be filled before I go sleep.
    >> Final Two The Table Master !qahWcjko06 09/11/09(Fri)01:10 No.5811468
    Alrighty, bringing things to a close for the night, our last two quests this evening.
    An initial roll of 17 deposits you, too, on the Table of Vision Quest. Your task corresponds to the roll of 19, Spiritual Exercise. Strange coincidences. Anyway, your Quest is to harmonize your body and spirit to achieve a greater state of wellbeing. Acupuncture, a yoga session, Tai Chi, dropping some Ecstacy and rubbing against other people, there are many possibilities, and nothing but benefits.

    And for you, our final Quester of the evening, a roll of 12 brings you to the list of "I'm Neutral", the potpourii of the Lists, Quests united in the theme of not having a theme. Aforementioned quest is number 3, Videology. Your Quest is simple but entertaining. Watch a video/movie that you have never seen before. An obscure sci-fi film, an old cult classic, The Best of Bob Ross, an original episode of Barney the Dinosaur, the possibilities are vast, the experience rewarding. Good luck, and may you find a new favorite film.

    Thank you all, and good night. See you next time, same /tg/ time (midnight Eastern), same /tg/ forum.
    >> Cooltrainer Vekter !OIqMj3oAUI 09/11/09(Fri)01:11 No.5811484
    Sounds... interesting. It's funny; I never do drugs or anything of that sort.

    I'll probably do a meditation or something like that.
    >> Anonymous 09/11/09(Fri)04:00 No.5813079
    I got a dream related quest; I put a paper by my bed and wrote stuff while half asleep. In no particular order, I got:

    "other people" "feet" "color vibrant" "crucified" Voldemort" "rapaciousness" "dump" "sex" "Xom cane orb" "arm" "Black" "mom" "monkey" and some illegible stuff.
    >> nostalgia !OvsomnIYNw 09/11/09(Fri)05:06 No.5813698
    Please still be playing I just got off work
    >> nostalgia !OvsomnIYNw 09/11/09(Fri)05:07 No.5813705
    God damnit two nights in a row. Table Master I hope you are checking the archive
    >> Observer 09/11/09(Fri)05:10 No.5813728
    Over the past two days, I managed to acquire the Fallout trilogy (1, 2, and Tactics) and a brand new Xbawks 360 Pro (because the disk drive in my current regular version is shot so far to hell it has tea with Lucifer on a regular basis), neither of which cost me a dime.

    I think I did alright by my "acquire material possessions without spending anything" Quest. Irritated that I missed tonight's hand-out period, though.

    Gonna have to try and get in on it tomorrow.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 09/11/09(Fri)05:15 No.5813756
    What's all this then? A quest, you say?

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