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  • File : 1252517209.gif-(150 KB, 658x500, 1234811681577.gif)
    150 KB Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:26 No.5789941  
    ITT: The Tarrasque is actually a pretty swell guy.

    Seriously, has anyone ever seriously looked at this picture? He's not roaring, he's smiling. The little guys? They're not running AWAY from him, they're running ALONGSIDE him! Note how they're not flailing their arms around and screaming, they're laughing and gesturing for him to come and follow! They're his friends!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:28 No.5789960
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:28 No.5789965
    Tarrasque has max ranks in Bluff, OP has clearly failed his Sense Motive check.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:29 No.5789985
    You're just mean! Don't be mean to poor Tarry! He's just lonely! There's only one of him after all. All he wants is a friend!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:30 No.5789987
    Tarrasque is actually just a misunderstood chaotic god entity. All his eating villages and whatnot is an urgent appeal at the mortal races to shed their materialism and greed and renounce their worldly needs. He's a performance artist, so to speak.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:32 No.5790005
    Even that's misunderstood, because next Tarrasquemas, he'll bring them back all shiny and new from his workshop in the center of the Earth where he was fixing all the broken things he ate.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:32 No.5790013
    Look.. look at those eyes. So wide, full of innocence.

    It couldn't possibly be wilfully malevolent!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:34 No.5790025
    The tarrasque is friend to all children, and this has been well known for a long time. He can be a little clumsy sometimes though, so it helps to watch out and make sure he notices you. Remember, if you can't see the Tarrasque's eyes, HE CAN'T SEE YOU!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:38 No.5790075

    Every year on Tarrasquemas, the Tarrasque emerges from his workshop in the middle of the earth and walks through the streets of town giving out gifts to the good little girls and boys. If you were good all year, you can run out into the street and play with the Tarrasque, riding on his giant carapaced back and running alongside his powerful, earthshaking feet.

    We don't talk about what happens to the bad little girls and boys. :(
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:41 No.5790109
    You can tell he's good because his eyebrows slant upwards toward the middle. Clear sign of emotional availability.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:41 No.5790110
    I can't wait for Tarrasquemas! :o
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:41 No.5790111
    >We don't talk about what happens to the bad little girls and boys. :(

    He looks at them with big, sad, disappointed eyes. His love is all-encompassing, and so it breaks his big, big heart when people are mean.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:46 No.5790154
    Dashing through the snow
    On his carapace we sway
    Through the streets we go
    Laughing all the way

    Thundrous is his stride
    Collossal is his size
    What fun it is to ride atop
    The Tarrasque's massive thighs


    Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way
    Oh what fun it is to play with Tarrasques all the day, HEY!
    Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way
    Oh what fun it is to play with Tarrasques all the day!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:48 No.5790182
         File1252518534.png-(85 KB, 500x500, Kirbasque.png)
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    The Tarrasque only eats adventurers because to him, they smell like cake.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:49 No.5790184
    What date is Tarrasquemas? Whe here where i come form don't celebrate it, but we are interessted in all that have to do with the tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:49 No.5790188
    I didn't think anyone saved this picture.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:50 No.5790195
    Another misconception. He doesn't eat adventurers, he lifts them up and carries them away to a safe place in his loving jaws, like a momma cat with her kittens.
    >> That one Techpriest 09/09/09(Wed)13:50 No.5790200

    This calls for a Deathstrike Missle with a Vortex Warhead, and a Three Wishes ring.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:54 No.5790230
    Don't be mean to Tarry! He's my fwiend!
    >> That one Techpriest 09/09/09(Wed)13:55 No.5790246
    Ugh...Do we have a epic mage around to see if their trapped in an illusion or not?

    I don't trust The Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:56 No.5790253
    It's okay. The Tarrasque loves you anyway :)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:57 No.5790258
         File1252519032.jpg-(113 KB, 516x729, mage.jpg)
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    There is no illusion.

    Only the Tarrasque's compassion.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)13:58 No.5790268
    Man, are you kidding me? Have you seen the Baloonrasque picture, with the Tarrasque lashed to the blimp?

    I will tell you what, that motherfucker has not a fuck to give. Never before have I seen a creature so happy; I think we can ALL stand to learn a little from Baloonrasque and his easygoing, happy-go-lucky attitude.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:00 No.5790284
    I call to order the first planning commitee for our glorious new holiday, Tarrasquemas. We need to work out the specifics and spread the word to gaming groups everywhere. This will become bigger than Worldwide Gaming Day!!!!!

    Our first order of business is to set a date.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:00 No.5790286
    From the Book of Mooks, Chapter 23

    23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Faerun, there they struck him down to -10 HP, and there they made a wish for his destruction.
    23:34 Then said the Tarrasuqe, Ao, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his carapace, and cast lots for his horns and loot.
    23:35 And the NPCs stood beholding. And the adventuerers also with them derided him, saying, He ate others; let him save himself, if he be Tarrasque, the Epic Level Solo.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:01 No.5790297
    The Tarrasque got my kitty out of a tree!
    I mean... my cat was squished in the process... BUT HE WAS TRYING DAMN IT!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:02 No.5790301
    I believe in the Tarrasque!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:03 No.5790311
    I think today is Tarrasquemas :) Every day is Tarrasquemas if you keep the Tarrasque in your heart.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:03 No.5790312
    Tarrasque- "Change we can believe in."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:05 No.5790325
    Tarrasquemas is henceforth to be celebrated on the Ninth of September every year.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:06 No.5790329
         File1252519567.jpg-(158 KB, 499x607, Elminster Kirby.jpg)
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    Elminster is the personal helper of the Tarrasque. Every Tarrasquemas he casts a Once-In-A-Year Beyond Epic Time Stop spell so that the Tarrasque can visit all the children of Faerun in a single night.

    I'm the guy who requested it, of course I was gonna save it.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:06 No.5790331
    If you think about it, the Tarrasque could probably feed starving villages quite easily just by snipping off little parts of himself, since they'll grow back superfast anyway.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:06 No.5790332
         File1252519582.png-(66 KB, 480x715, Blimp.png)
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    Here you go.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:08 No.5790358
         File1252519739.png-(325 KB, 444x366, lovethisthread.png)
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    this is fantastic.

    I wanna know when tarrasquemas is :)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:09 No.5790367
    are you perchance blinded by your love for tarrasque?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:11 No.5790385

    I knew something good would happen on 09/09/09. The first Tarrasquemas!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:12 No.5790388
    I'll bake the Tarrasque shaped sugar cookies!
    >> That one Techpriest 09/09/09(Wed)14:12 No.5790397
    Hmm...these things are temperamental....

    `Continues tinkering with the Deathstrike Launcher`
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:13 No.5790401
    This is a religion now, isn't it.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:14 No.5790407

    The Tarrasque loves all, regardless of religious affiliation :)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:14 No.5790410
    How can we celebrate this within our gaming groups?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:16 No.5790420
    . . . by celebrating Tarrasquemas in your campaign?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:17 No.5790429

    Bring cakes and sausages to your next gaming session. Before you eat, think on how important it is to be nice to your fellows, even if they, or indeed you, appear monstrous. Then eat cake and sausage and have fun.

    Jolly Tarrasquemas to one and all.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:17 No.5790432
    It's as legitimately founded as any other religion.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:17 No.5790437

    Hmmm... The Tarrasque is all about eating things, so... Indulge in the mass consumption of all things edible?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:18 No.5790438
    Religious arguments are cotnrary to the spirit of Tarrasquemas :<
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:18 No.5790442
    Have a Tarrasque wearing a Santa hat show up with gifts.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:19 No.5790449
    Actually in older editions it is a friend to children, it ignores them or will even try (very carefully) to play with them.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:19 No.5790450
    the best thing is its right next to 9/11!
    two holidays celebrating destruction right next to each other?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:21 No.5790460
    9/11 isn't a holiday.

    Kinda wish it was though, I could use the day off.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:21 No.5790463
    Tarrasquemas isn't about destruction, Tarrasquemas celebrates life.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:21 No.5790470
    09/09/09 - The First Tarrasquemas :D
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:22 No.5790479
    Kinda like the First Founding.

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:24 No.5790488
         File1252520646.jpg-(43 KB, 377x501, 1195865224878.jpg)
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    I think the tarrasque is a pretty swell gal.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:24 No.5790493
    It was only a matter of time :(
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:26 No.5790502
    why :(?
    maybe through this, humans can understand the beauty that is tarrasque?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:26 No.5790506
    I require ways to make today more Tarrasquemas-y, /tg/!

    Tell me, how does I paid homage to Tarrasquemas properly?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:27 No.5790509
    The tarrasuqe is beautiful enough without desecrating its holy scaly form with base sexual lusts. :(
    >> Rogue Kitty !Z39279KCxs 09/09/09(Wed)14:27 No.5790510
         File1252520829.png-(73 KB, 480x715, 1252519582445.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:30 No.5790532
    Decorate the tarrasque with lights and garlands.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:31 No.5790540
    I reeeaaally hope this thread gets archived. The world must know of Tarrasquemas.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:31 No.5790544
    The dwarf elders spun stories to the young hairy chinned children of a day where the ground rumbles, announcing the return of the Tarrasque. The boys and girls who had behaved for their parents and were kind to all others could leave the caves to the surface, where they could recieve gifts from the magnificent beast.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:32 No.5790547

    No, it's from 4chan. It's not legitimate at all!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:33 No.5790552
    In Spelljammer there was a planet fully inhabitated by Tarrasque, what by some strange reason where docile and nice like cows and just consume rocks. Is only when they put a paw on another planet when they become "rawr, I'm a mongstah!".
    By the way, in Tarrasquemas you should eat until your stomach get stuffed?.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:33 No.5790556
    i think someone isn't going to get a present this year...
    >> Rogue Kitty !Z39279KCxs 09/09/09(Wed)14:35 No.5790573
    You got your wish! Merry Tarrasquemas!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:35 No.5790578
    100 internets to the first person to bake a tarrasquemas cake
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:38 No.5790601
    hopefully the thread will stay alive.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:38 No.5790611
         File1252521536.jpg-(386 KB, 504x600, Tarrasque5.jpg)
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    Thread needs moar Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:39 No.5790612
    Even if it doesn't, it has done its job. :) Merry Tarrasquemas to all, and to all a good . . . day. . . or night. . . or. . . whatever or whenever it is. . . what the fuck stupid internets. :P
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:43 No.5790645
    I thought his ear was his eye.

    It made the Tarrasque all the more d'aww.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:45 No.5790668

    Be kind and gentle to all living creatures; the Tarrasque does not ask you more than this.
    >> Guardsman Redshirt 09/09/09(Wed)14:53 No.5790750
    Every now and then I remember why I love /tg/ :3
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:54 No.5790759
         File1252522451.gif-(87 KB, 658x500, dawwasqe.gif)
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    How can you look at this and not understand how kind and loving the Terrasque actually is?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:56 No.5790780
         File1252522601.png-(189 KB, 658x500, ithoughtthatwashiseye.png)
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    It looked like his eye to me at first.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)14:58 No.5790793
    shh, quit with yo sense makin FOO
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:00 No.5790813
    But if that's not his eye, where is his eye?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:01 No.5790817
    Those little bits at the top that looked like nostrils to me.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:02 No.5790824
    they look like horns for goringIMEAN... helping to push carts along.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:05 No.5790836
    I meant the little bits above the mouth, the little black spots.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:05 No.5790839
    But then where are his nostrils?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:05 No.5790852
    The world may never know...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:07 No.5790865
    reptiles....reptiles dont have ears. Earlobes, at least.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:19 No.5790953
    Maybe that IS his eye. Maybe he doesn't have any ears.

    The poor thing can't hear anything. :'(
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:23 No.5790984
    Maybe he can sense happiness.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:27 No.5791019
    thats why he loves children, otherwise his world would be bleak nothing without the love and laughter of children!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:27 No.5791025
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:28 No.5791031

    "Why does all the happiness always disappear when I get near it?"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:28 No.5791032
         File1252524520.gif-(13 KB, 314x241, poor tarrasque.gif)
    13 KB
    He looks more like he's crying to me...

    Just look at that eye... so full of sadness...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:31 No.5791056

    He's sad because the whole world does not yet know his love :(
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:31 No.5791060
    Probably because they're running away and all he wants to do is be friends with them.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:31 No.5791070
    Damn you. Now I'll never be able to look at that picture teh same again.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:32 No.5791075
    He's sad because we can't decide which parts are his eyes and which parts are his ears.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:33 No.5791086
         File1252524800.jpg-(70 KB, 479x639, tarrasque-11.jpg)
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    how do threads get archived? We need to retain Tarrasquemas for the ages, and get it recognised by the gaming community.

    Disappointingly misleading picture unrelated.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:34 No.5791095

    Keep it updated.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:37 No.5791125
    Tarrasquemas is going to contain gifts. What, to whom, when and how?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:41 No.5791173
    Plenty of food for everyone. Toys for the children.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:46 No.5791234
    In Tarrasquemas children should be gifted with Cutasque plushies.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:49 No.5791274
         File1252525796.jpg-(617 KB, 1280x1861, flowerguns.jpg)
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    We must make some mastercrafted cookie cut-outs shaped like Tarry!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:54 No.5791315
    Silly fook, the Tarrasque DID 9/11! You see, he's from France, and he was just swimming across the pond to check out how the statue of Liberty was doing, but well, he's a clumsy guy. Mistakes were made, but we all still love him.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)15:55 No.5791328
    The resulting Government coverup was just a ploy to spare his feelings and justify invading Iraq.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:14 No.5791507
    Aw, how nice of them.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:31 No.5791716
         File1252528299.jpg-(85 KB, 912x894, tarrasque.jpg)
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    that IS his eye.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:38 No.5791793
    On the first day of Tarrasquemas, the Tarrasque ate from me; a vorpal sword in a pear tree.
    >> IT'S THE GOOD OLD DAYS! Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:41 No.5791824
         File1252528870.png-(135 KB, 291x299, tarrasque.png)
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    AD &D Tarrasque:

    Apparently there’s only one in existence, which is good, because… check this out: 70 HD, -5 THAC0, 6 attacks per round, -3 AC, and you can only truly kill it if you reduce it to -30 hit points AND use a Wish spell?!?! You don’t FUCK with the tarrasque, my friends.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:42 No.5791832
    Is that a Deathclaw?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:42 No.5791836
    Note that this isn't a question, but a statement.
    Although, it is wrong. Tarasquemas is a day for everyone.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:54 No.5791980
    Nobody can hate such a happy fat iguana.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:55 No.5791987
         File1252529722.jpg-(150 KB, 700x487, Tarrasque2.jpg)
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    It's a more recent Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)16:56 No.5791999
         File1252529807.jpg-(43 KB, 250x354, dx1109eo_elite_tarrasque.jpg)
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    Alternate shot of 3.5 Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:00 No.5792037
    What's that image from? I remember seeing it somewhere...dude's throwing the Wand of Orcus down the Tarrasque's throat.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:04 No.5792082
    I seem to remember one of my epic characters taming an adolescent tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:06 No.5792101
    its something like elder evils or exemplars of evil or something like that. the website said it was from a web article called elite opponents: Tarrasque. But I know its in a 3.5 or something book.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:07 No.5792113
         File1252530450.png-(351 KB, 700x487, tarrasque loves ice cream.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:09 No.5792131

    hes playing with the horsie so cute
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:09 No.5792132
    today is a good day
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:11 No.5792147
    I hereby accept this new holiday, and will refrain from all manual labor and eat until I pass out.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:11 No.5792155
    everyday is a holiday!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:14 No.5792185
    >He's not roaring, he's smiling. The little guys? They're not running AWAY from him, they're running ALONGSIDE him! Note how they're not flailing their arms around and screaming, they're laughing and gesturing for him to come and follow! They're his friends!

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:14 No.5792188
    Why would you WANT to?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:15 No.5792189
         File1252530902.gif-(58 KB, 320x240, 18475-6645.gif)
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    anyone ever notice the tarrasque has a HUGE underbite?

    You are now imagining the tarrasque speaking with this voice.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:16 No.5792211
    "Tag! You're it!"

    "DAwwww, you got me!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:16 No.5792212
    In Tarrasquemas children leave beaked cookies of chocolate and horse meat in the front of their houses for when the Tarrasque come to deliver their gifts.
    >> Toy Store Anonymous !wImXn9Y2hw 09/09/09(Wed)17:18 No.5792230

    Never change.

    I'm almost sad I missed today's campaign (I had to work)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:44 No.5792594
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:50 No.5792675
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    am I doin it rite?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:53 No.5792703
    I am currently int the process of making a recipe due to reading this.

    Bits of Apples with cinnemon will be the spikes. I'm thinking something like mango the red. The base is basic pie dough. A fun experiment this will be.
    >> Toy Store Anonymous !wImXn9Y2hw 09/09/09(Wed)17:53 No.5792709
    HE looks so happy. He's like 'Yay, let's play!'
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:54 No.5792717
    >he's smiling!

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)17:58 No.5792771
    This is /tg/.

    Thats right, this is /Tarrasquemas, Gentlemen/.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)18:04 No.5792857
    Happy hey, Happy hey
    The Tarrasque is on his way
    Hear the children, hear them cheer
    "Tarrasque day's drawing near!"
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)18:08 No.5792911
    Tarrasqueday: The official D&D day. It should probably fall on a Saturday or Sunday. Probably in the dead of winter so winter doesn't suck quite as much.

    Official foods are sausage, cake and alcohol in all forms.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)18:09 No.5792922
    Pretty sure it's the back of the DMG2
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)18:11 No.5792940
    Great day for the Dwarves then.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)18:41 No.5793300
    >Great Day for eveyone then.

    Fixed that for you :3
    >> Kasperl 09/09/09(Wed)18:53 No.5793458
    Now I want a pet Horned toad.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:01 No.5793552
    If I had one, I'd name it Terry.

    Close enough to Tarrasque, plus it works as a regular name.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:03 No.5793572
    i looked in mine and couldn't find it. but looking again, there it is. must have missed it.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:05 No.5793584
    Please up a high quality pic of it to replace this thumbnail!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:07 No.5793601
    I'm so baking a tarrasquemas cake right now.

    brb buying ingredients
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:09 No.5793627
    no camera , digital camera, webcam, scanner, cell phone cam etc to take pictures with, or the pdf.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:11 No.5793657
    If it's absurd enough, /tg/ will love it.

    Merry Tarrasquemas.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:12 No.5793672
    You should make that tarrasquemas cake out of hardtack. Then it will be an invincible destroyer of worlds.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:21 No.5793793
    Does anyone know if a Tarrasque miniature exists?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:22 No.5793804
         File1252538544.png-(2.22 MB, 848x1190, tarrasquelargeDMGII.png)
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    Merry Tarrasquemas!
    (with image this time!)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:40 No.5793993
    Oy lets get STOMPY!! BOYZ GIT THAT TARRAS.... oh Gork 'n Mork! We wuz so rong! Life ain't fer smashin' it's fer joy an' love. Tank ya Tarrasque, yous change all our livez!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)19:56 No.5794141

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:18 No.5794347
         File1252541909.png-(107 KB, 480x715, Tarrasquemas.png)
    107 KB
    You better watch out
    You better not cry
    Better not pout
    I'm telling you why
    The Tarrasque is coming to town

    He's takin' a rest
    Not wakin' up twice;
    Hopin the adventurer's are nice
    The Tarrasque is coming to town

    He sees you when you're sleeping
    You know when he's awake
    He's sorry if he thinks you're food
    So try not to smell like cake!
    O! You better watch out!
    You better not cry
    Better not pout
    I'm telling you why
    The Tarrasque is coming to town
    The Tarrasque is coming to town
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:20 No.5794366
    My new wallpaper.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:24 No.5794412
    :D Fuck yeah 3rd ed Iconics! Playing fetch with Tarrasque!
    Happy Tarrasquemas!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:27 No.5794442
    For reference I did this in paint and I would love to see someone with a working copy of photoshop (mine's screwy atm) and some actual artistic talent recreate this to match the base image in quality
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:36 No.5794534
    Merry Tarrasquemas!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:37 No.5794535
         File1252543021.jpg-(54 KB, 500x362, 1248246869580.jpg)
    54 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:47 No.5794659
    Keep the archive updated!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:49 No.5794685
    How the adventurers stole Tarrasquemas?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:53 No.5794726
    Holy fuck yes, campaign idea:

    stop Grinchicus, a real bastard of an epic lich, from waking the Tarrasque too early and killing it before Tarrasquemas.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:54 No.5794737

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:55 No.5794744


    Is that a monster girl of the Tarrasque?


    Wait...why HASN'T there been a monster girl of the Tarrasque?

    Why aren't there MORE monster girls of the Tarrasque?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:55 No.5794750
    This needs to be done, now. Damnit, I don't have a copy of that book.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)20:57 No.5794776
    It updates automatically, man.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:01 No.5794812
    No, it doesn't. It updates by resubmitting it to the archive.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:13 No.5794935
    That horse was obviously hurt, or had a tstomache ache! Terresque was happily helping it along to a doctor or it's mommy with the villager leading the way.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.5795001

    *clears throat*

    Long, long ago, in the land of [NAME REDACTED], Grandpa Tarrasque was beloved by all the people. Black and white; children and adult; man and women. Because every year on [DATE REDACTED], Gramps would fly from his mountain lair, lashed to a hot-air balloon, and throw presents to all the good people of the kingdom. Every year the king and queen would hold a celebratory feast for Tarrasque as he passed overhead, showering the people with gifts.

    Yep, there were no frowns on Tarrasquemas, because Gramps knew that all people have good in their hearts, even when they act mean and unfriendly.

    But one day...

    A bunch of strange people came to [NAME REDACTED]. Some say they were a mean, miserly dwarf, a cruel, leather-clad dominatrix/sorceress, and a steroid-fueled paladin. Others say it was a wicked halfing thief, his heart filled with grasping, a double-DD elf-girl with a chainmail bikini, and a munchkin with two +8 Katanas of Stygian Bloodletting akimbo.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.5795010
    ut whoever they were, they wanted only one thing: the treasures of Grampa Tarrasque's workshop.

    The moment they got into town, they went through each town, interrogating the people, stealing shit from their pots and drawers, and generally making nuisances of themselves. And they found out that Tarrasquemas was in three days time.

    Slowly, one of them concocted a plan in his wicked little brain.

    On Tarrasquemas Day, all the people were desperately afraid. "What will happen to Grandpa?" they said. The children all sobbed. Yes, there were sobs that Tarrasquemas.

    So when Gramps arrived, he thought: 'Where are all the people in the streets? Where are all the people? Have they finally stopped believing in me?' A tear crept down Grandpa Tarrasque's cheek.

    But then, he heard a whistling...
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:22 No.5795026
    He turned his head just in time to see a barrage of flaming arrows flying towards him! He tried to escape, but to no avail. The arrows popped his balloon and set the hydrogen inside ablaze. Soon, Grandpa began to scream as he was bathed in fire. His balloon descended, crashing into the town in an eruption of fire.

    And as the city burned, the people with it, the adventurers ran in with Cloaks of Anti-fire. Descending into the wreck they looted what was left of Tarrasque's bag, eyes glittering at the prospect of treasure. But they party screamed in rage when they realized it was nothing but children's toys and sweetmeats!

    The End.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:24 No.5795050
    I truly and most sincerely love this thread.

    Never change /tg/
    >> tosscobble 09/09/09(Wed)21:34 No.5795168

    Requesting this pic shooped to look like the Grinch!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:34 No.5795170
         File1252546499.jpg-(114 KB, 400x400, 1245343844934.jpg)
    114 KB
    Look, the Orks gave Mr. Tarrasque presents!

    He loves his new clothes!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:48 No.5795381
    rolled 98 = 98


    I have never hated adventuring groups more than right now, not even while reading that Goblins comic.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:49 No.5795403
    Every monster down in Fallcrest loved Tarrasquemas a lot.
    But the munchkin who lived north of Fallcrest did not.
    It could be because he was min-maxed too much.
    It could be because he was greedy and such.
    But the most likely reason he was so mean, they say
    Was that he would rollplay, not roleplay, all day.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:54 No.5795470
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:54 No.5795471
    But whatever the reason, his stats or his play,
    He stood there above the town before Tarrasquemas day.
    For below he could see, every monster beneath,
    Was happy now making an elven gut wreath.

    "Now they're arranging encounters," he snarled with a sneer,
    "Tomorrow's Tarrasquemas, it's practically here!"
    And he sneered with his munghkin dice nervously rolling,
    "I must find a way to stop Tarrasquemas from coming!

    "For tomorrow, you see, every goblin and ork,
    "They'll exchange all their presents, they'll eat their long pork.
    "Then they'll be happy and content, then they'll happily sing,
    "It'll make me feel happy when rage is my thing."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:55 No.5795487
         File1252547719.jpg-(17 KB, 300x300, 1251962026615.jpg)
    17 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:56 No.5795505
    I think I am going to include in my campaign world a sleeping and mopey Tarrasque who doesn't like waking up and going outside because everyone always screams and shoots shit at him.

    Dreams of finding an island somewhere where he can go swimming and eat whales and giant jellyfish that tickle his throat.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)21:57 No.5795523
    So he hitched up his sleigh to his warhorses heavy,
    Which he'd min-maxed to go faster than a 54 Chevy.
    With bags of holding and portable holes,
    He raced down to the town laden down with ten foot poles.

    With his sword he did lay waste to monsters left and right,
    And thought he would slaughter all day and all night.
    Racing past guards wearing seven-league boots.
    To race back up home with his treasure and loots.

    When to his dismay, he heard a terrible roar,
    Scarier than anything he'd heard before.
    And down through the streets raced a monster Colossal,
    Twas the Tarrasque, that lovely old fossil!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:00 No.5795567
    Tarrasques are so awesome.

    My last character was a Half-Tarrasque human cleric of Pelor.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:01 No.5795572
    The munchkin screamed and turned quite white
    And pissed in his trousers, from terrified fright.
    Seeing himself in the massive black eye,
    He was quite certain that he would soon die,

    But the Tarrasquemas spirit extends to one and all,
    To good and to evil, to chaos and law.
    And so he was led to a table, I think,
    And given a glass of fine ale to drink.

    A lovely roast sausage inside of a roll
    Was placed in his hand by a kobold so droll.
    And as he stood there, aghast and bemused,
    The monsters stood round him and chuckled, all amused.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:03 No.5795592
    And the munchkin, with his munchkin-feet ice cold in the snow, stood INT-checking and INT-checking, how could it be so? It came without feats. It came without stats. It came without Paladins, Rogues or Bards. And he INT-checked and INT-checked ’till his dice were ground down. Then the munchkin thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Tarrasquemas, he thought, doesn’t have from a CR. What if Tarrasquemas, perhaps, needs a little bit more.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:03 No.5795593
    Shit, the campaign I'm in -- we had to slay him to please a silver ancient wyrm dragon and ended up rigging up 22 depth charges with our engineer that we originally made to slay 4 storm giants and ended up forcing him to swallow 11 charges and blowing him to bits. As his body blew apart and fell on the cavern floor, the wyrm came and wished him away...

    Very fun fight, but we wept at our loss of a friend.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:04 No.5795609
    >>5795592 here
    Different person from the other guy doing an ACTUAL job of it. Shine on you wonderful fa/tg/uy.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:05 No.5795617
         File1252548316.jpg-(4 KB, 126x126, 1202252287188s.jpg)
    4 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:07 No.5795630
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:07 No.5795640
    And then the littlest kobold of all,
    Stood there before him, with his scarf oh so small.
    "He said, silly, human, you don't comprehend,
    "Today is Tarrasquemas, all conflict must end!"

    "For tomorrow we'll go back to the things that we do,
    "You'll try to kill us and we'll try to kill you.
    "But until then, why don't we be nice to each other.
    "For one day, let PCs and mobs be like brothers!"

    Then the munchkin looked round him at the monsters so sweet,
    And thought to himself, "That's a lot of XP."
    He drew his sword then and he started to charge.
    But was promptly crushed under a foot oh so large.

    Today is Tarrasquemas, the day for good cheer,
    But if you're an asshole, you're dead now, you hear?
    Because Grampy Tarry's patrolling the streets.
    So if you're not nice, you will wind up dead meats.

    So drink up your ale and your eggnog so tasty,
    And share with your friends some pudding that's hasty.
    Give away presents for 1d4 days,
    And let your GM know that he's doing okay.

    Let's run with the Tarrasque as he bounds through the town,
    And when the day's over, we'll see him burrow down,
    To the center of the Earth where he'll sleep all the day
    Dreaming of next year, the next Tarrasquemas Day.
    >> tosscobble 09/09/09(Wed)22:08 No.5795647

    Fawking Awsome!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:09 No.5795659
         File1252548581.gif-(44 KB, 354x236, natural one ;__;.gif)
    44 KB
    ;___; This thread is amazing.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:10 No.5795672
    Needs more dakka. Maybe zappa mounted on the back.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:10 No.5795674

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:10 No.5795676
         File1252548644.jpg-(37 KB, 716x693, InternetHighFive.jpg)
    37 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:14 No.5795716
    Aww, look... he's giving the man a horse... how sweet.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:14 No.5795720
         File1252548893.jpg-(79 KB, 800x570, 1185411987756.jpg)
    79 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:22 No.5795803
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:23 No.5795813
    What if somebody found a way to clone the Tarrasque? Congratulations, you now have a fucking army of Tarrasque.

    You could make a pretty awesome campaign out of trying to defeat the baby Tarrasques before they can become fully grown. I'd wager that even infants could fuck your shit up in large numbers.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:24 No.5795821
    ...Why would you do that?
    They just want a HUG.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:25 No.5795835
    I agree. Now we just need You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch adapted to adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:27 No.5795857
    Keep the tarrasque alive, but under 0 HP.

    Constantly harvest his hide.

    Make tarrasque-hide armor.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:28 No.5795865

    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:31 No.5795894
    requesting the pic of the adventurers stealing tarrasque's bra!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:33 No.5795913
    I humbly request a drawfag draw a group of malevolent adventurers stealing a giant sack of presents from the sleeping Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:33 No.5795914
    This thread is now /tg/ canon!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:36 No.5795942
    Provided everyone remembers, of course.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:36 No.5795950
    You're a mean one, Mr. Mage.
    You really are a wrench.
    You're as cuddly as a cactus,
    You're as charming as an eel.
    Mr. Mage.

    You're a bad banana
    With a greasy black peel.

    You're a monster, Mr. Brute.
    Your heart's an empty hole.
    Your brain is full of hacknslash,
    You've got iron in your soul.
    Mr. Brute.

    I wouldn't touch you, with a
    thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:37 No.5795959
    it would be pretty hard to keep him constantly alive AND under 0 hp AND harvest his hide
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:39 No.5795976
    Remember, remember, the ninth of September?

    But srs, it IS archived. We just need people to bring that up next year, and soon it shall become engraved in our consciousness.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:39 No.5795979
         File1252550389.png-(345 KB, 732x483, hoardstealer prestige class dr(...).png)
    345 KB
    Perhaps someone could shoop this?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:41 No.5795993
    i'm so marking it in my calendar, cellphone, room, dog, and everywhere i can
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:44 No.5796021
    You're a vile one, Mr. Rogue.
    You have termites in your smile.
    You have all the tender kindness
    Of a rabid Dire Lion.
    Mr. Rogue.

    Given the choice between the two of you
    I'd take the rabid Dire Lion.

    You're a foul one, Mr. Monk.
    You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
    Your heart is full of unwashed socks
    Your soul is full of gunk.
    Mr. Monk.

    The three words that best describe you,
    are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:45 No.5796032
    i came
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:47 No.5796065
    You're a rotter, Mr. Bard.
    You're the king of sinful sots.
    Your heart's a dead tomato splot
    With moldy purple spots,
    Mr. Bard.

    Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
    with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
    rubbish imaginable,
    Mangled up in tangled up knots.

    You nauseate me, Mr. 'Lock.
    With a nauseaus super-naus.
    You're a crooked jerky jockey
    And you drive a crooked horse.
    Mr. Warlock.

    You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
    With arsenic sauce.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:48 No.5796077
    There was a huge thread about this on RPG.net a few years back. An entire city whose economy ran on the constant butchering of the Tarrasque.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:52 No.5796117
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:55 No.5796160
         File1252551339.jpg-(12 KB, 350x286, Timon.jpg)
    12 KB
    What kind of sick twisted person would want to do that to the Tarrasque?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)22:58 No.5796202
    Adventurers are assholes. :o
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:00 No.5796217
         File1252551600.gif-(40 KB, 249x243, adventurers.gif)
    40 KB
    Those buggers will do anything to steal our Tarrasquemas!
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:00 No.5796227
    What if someone cut the tarrasque in half?

    Would each half regenerate into two new tarrasques?
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:10 No.5796328
    One of the halves would regenerate, the other would wither up and die.
    >> Inquisitor Tom !I3xE3QXrEY 09/09/09(Wed)23:15 No.5796378
    Gods damn you guys. I mean Gods. Damn.
    This is fucking epic.
    This is why I come here.
    A happy Tarrasquemas for all and for all a natural 20.
    Keep up the good work gentlemen.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:24 No.5796511
         File1252553091.jpg-(63 KB, 850x564, Arring.jpg)
    63 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:24 No.5796512
    Every single one of the Suess-isms you guys have come up with, I've saved. I'm going to post them all on December 24th.

    Happy Tarrasquemas.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:37 No.5796641
    God, I want to make this canon in my D&D games.


    That's it, I will. From now on, the Tarrasque is a pretty swell guy.
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:45 No.5796716
    Well, I'm gonna call it a night, /tg/.

    A very merry first Tarrasquemas to you all :)
    >> Anonymous 09/09/09(Wed)23:47 No.5796733
    And to all a good night.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:00 No.5796868
    There's always one kid who tries to eat the glue while everyone makes tarrasquemas cards
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:33 No.5797224
    God dammit. Source?
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:34 No.5797233
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:40 No.5797294
    What are the stats for a Tassasque again?
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:49 No.5797385
         File1252558170.png-(1.2 MB, 750x1100, tarrasquestats.png)
    1.2 MB
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:50 No.5797393

    Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 SRD. Look it up.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:52 No.5797411
    Y'know, it says the whole reason for him getting up is to go eat. So, what if you got him to wear a ring of sustenance?
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:55 No.5797433
    rings of sustenance lack the enchantment to sate the Epic hunger of the Tarrasque. It takes a hearty Tarrasquemas dinner with plenty of nog for that.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)00:59 No.5797461
    A ring of sustenance on each hand and one around his dork.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)01:00 No.5797469
         File1252558840.jpg-(33 KB, 400x300, 000strangelove.jpg)
    33 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)01:03 No.5797503
         File1252559020.jpg-(485 KB, 1000x800, 02-27-09 tarrasque.jpg)
    485 KB
    >> Golden Neckbeard !!MA40nsGlj/I 09/10/09(Thu)01:11 No.5797571
         File1252559471.jpg-(23 KB, 250x250, fuck year.jpg)
    23 KB
    Tarrasquemas is officially Neckbeard Approved.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)01:39 No.5797835

    Go forth, children of Tarry, and fan!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:18 No.5798168
         File1252563518.jpg-(94 KB, 536x413, dnd mom devil.jpg)
    94 KB
    Anyone remembering Ursula, from The Little Mermaid?
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:20 No.5798190
    Urgh! What IS that?!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:22 No.5798204

    Aaaand you almost made me vomit my brownie. Thanks Anon.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:22 No.5798209

    A very powerful (pit fiend tier) devil that can grow his nails 30 ft long and does 1d4 cha dmg/hit no save

    Basically they're like the jewbankers of hell i believe, trade souls and other evil shit

    Its actual name escapes me but i think i saw it in fiend folio
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:25 No.5798230
    A Paeliyron. A breed of Devil. And they DO look like like Ursula.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)02:53 No.5798520
    I seem to recall that they are actually even more powerful than pit fiends, having a CR of 24 or something ridiculous like that.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)05:33 No.5799685
         File1252575214.jpg-(216 KB, 900x900, tarrasque.jpg)
    216 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)05:57 No.5799873
         File1252576674.jpg-(523 KB, 750x1100, fixed.jpg)
    523 KB
    Fixed it for you. ^_^

    Now it's canon!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)05:59 No.5799886
    I think I realized why there's no Tarrasque miniature.

    Because they'd only be able to make one.
    >> ProperGentleman !YhkT0yoJiI 09/10/09(Thu)06:11 No.5799971
    I've always had a soft spot for the Tarresque. Something about him just makes me feel warm all over, whether he's a loving and magical figure of happiness or playing wrestling with a whole party of epic level players and winning.
    I love that monstrous sweety pie.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)09:05 No.5801062
    bump for retention!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)09:26 No.5801213
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)12:23 No.5802356
    Is this thread archived? It needs to be.
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)12:23 No.5802359
    For the life of the thread....
    Nay, for the holiday spirit! I BUMP!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)12:38 No.5802524
    Archive this!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)12:47 No.5802607

    It already has been, lern to read thread plzthx
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)15:37 No.5804505
    364 more days till Tarrasquemas everybody!!!!
    >> Anonymous 09/10/09(Thu)15:58 No.5804743
    You people remind me of a mother with her hideous unholy spawn of Iblies that she parades around as her offspring and calls "cute"


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