My brother's 1250th birthday is coming up and I wanted to surprise him with a gift.You see,/dtg/,way back in the day,I was shamefully beaten by a group of adventurers.I managed to escape but they took all my treasure and slaves and then burned down my lair.For a short time after,he provided me with shelter and treasure.Since I have now enslaved the adventurers that did this and taken over their kingdom,I wish to reward my brother approprietly.What are your suggestions /dtg/?
>>56776110Your brother is very kind for not kicking you out of his territory.Have you considered gifting him a harem of virgin nobles from this newly conquered kingdom? You can never go wrong with virgins.
>>56776110>For a short time after,he provided me with shelter and treasure.For not eating you on the spot AND not demanding eternal vassalage? Draco-Jesus he's worse than a Gold Dragon.I`d get him something so he`s not so gullible in the future, or at least good traps for his lair.
>>56776141I know right?Pretty stupid of him but i'm still somewhat grateful.
>>56776110have you considering giving him a biographer? I know that as I long "lived" and bookish dragon or "book wyrm" few things in my lair have given me more treasure than the elven historian i forced to write a history of me. Hes still going but im sure that your brother would have a shorter life to write about
>>56776110how do you burn down a dragon's lair?
>>56776141>>56776173Chromatics get out.
>>56776662I was playing the part of a noble living in a luxurious estate.They figured out that I was a dragon,threw me out and proceeded to burn down my house.
>>56776856You're either a Green or a Silver, either way you deserve what you get for using such underhanded methods.I still stand by my harem suggestion nonetheless.
>>56777265oh red, you never change do you
>>56776141>kindness kills the /dpol/Fly you fool, and stay fly.
You guys are all wyrmlings. Here's what you should do.Find yourself a nice, tall, untamed mountain up north. It's gotta have caves. Lots and lots of caves. You set up a lair in there. In the caves. Hopefully with exposed lava flows. If you can't find any, you should make them. It brings the lair together.Start checking out the local villages. They don't have to be big ones, any village will do. All you need to do is check them out. Just take a flight over one day. Put the fear of Tiamat in 'em. Do that a few times for added effect. Start demanding sacrifices. Gold, livestock, the works. If they're the short ones (not the other short ones. The short ones with all the tentacles on their weird lumpy faces), make them give you all their weird metal crap. If they're the tall pointy ones, make them give you the trees. They love those trees.Now the adventurers start coming. You CAN'T kill the adventurers. Don't eat them, don't roast them too bad or melt them or freeze them or whatever. You gotta rough them up, but DON'T kill them. So you get the hoard, and the adventurers, and the scared villagers, and the caves with the lava. Now, you give your brother some of the lava as a gift. Lava's hard to come by. It brings the lair together.
This is now a hammerspace dragon thread.Pozt your favorite micro dragons who eat planets
>>56777265Sorry old timer but not all of us want to play the unceasing monsters of destruction anymore.It's way more effective to manipulate the fools into giving you a position of power and only becoming the aforementioned monster to force them to give you your shit if they discover you.
>>56777289One does not get as old as I without some knowledge on these matters my undead friend.In case you're curious, I discovered what happened to my stolen Eye of Vistoma. A sorceress had contracted an old Devil that has a grudge against me to steal it as I napped.>>56777662That's exactly the type of thinking I'd expect from someone who associates with mabliks.
Could always make a murial of him made of molten gold, can never go wrong with gold.
I took to mingling with humans and I've found that living amongst them can be very rewarding. The human I am living with strides every day to train and become stronger, hoping some day to be able to defeat me in a friendly one on one spar. He is formidable, I will admit that, but for the moment I am able to overwhelm him. He gives me basically anything I ask for, and I've grown tired of trying to give him impossible tasks because he seems to always accomplish it somehow. I told him to get me a flying bacon egg scramble pie, and he disappeared for six days, returning on the seventh with a pieromancer and the pie in question.I think he's got some kind of obsession with me though, he gets really weird when he's rubbing my belly, pressing himself against me. Should I ask him about this? I do enjoy the feeling, that and when he rubs the top and bottom of my snout with his hands.
>>56777723M Drake or Fem drake?
>>56777741M, Young, Black-scale, Not a setting where scale predetermines your traits. Also what the fuck is a level and why do humans obsess with getting them.
>>56777741Have I really been asleep long enough for drake to no longer be an insult? By Tiamat next you'll call them a Wyvern.>>56777723>>56777778It sounds like the mablik is attempting to mate with you.
>>56777778The question is when did you aquire this human, and the answer to the level conundrum is a way of showing how powerful they are, for example a level one human will be weaker than a level twenty human.
>mfw live in a cave in a volcano>mfw gemstones everywhere>mfw local village is 7 miles away and they mainy pasture sheeps and cattle>mfw town full of virgins cuties cuz of their religion >mfw comfy afGet on my level
>>56777807That's physically impossible.It - the parts they... ??>>56777815It's been almost four years now. When asked about how many of these things he's collected he says he's working on his sixteenth.
What do you draganons do for fun?I like to shapeshift into things and explore or guard my hoard, sometimes I guide adventurers inside a dungeon I made and go through it with them, only to kill them off myself one by one, leaving the last a quaking puddle of fear. That or have them beat the dungeon.
>>56777827Did you get him when he was a child? And a level sixteen on his own should be a fairly easy fight, a group of then working in concert however. ...
>>56777857No, he was older than a child, but not as old as a fully grown human. He keeps talking about how he wants to be like me and become a dragon, but the dragons he keeps showing me aren't dragons at all, they're people in armor with long pointy sticks that ride into battle on the backs of dragons. I find it amusing, but he can barely hold onto me when I'm just standing still.
>>56776110OP I would suggest traps AND a harem for your somewhat generous brother. Follow it up with tricking adventurers into attacking his home so that he may see the traps in action. If he falls to the adventurers then, well, you have yourself a free lair and he shouldn't have trusted a fellow dragon.
>>56777890>not trusting your fellow dragon>not going into battle with your contrasting hothead/cooldude dragon brother>not going full double dragon on tinheadsYou need to go back to ribbit.
>>56777890Why not a harem of traps?
Guys, I need help.So I'm from a plane where we dragons used to be allied with humans. Yes, I know, most of you find that shameful, but our humans were freakishly good magical conduits, and if you had one on your back you could see through his eyes and basically get 360 degree vision, as well as easy spellcasting in any direction you want. Unfortunately, about a thousand years before I was born, we sort of betrayed them in a desperate attempt to save ourselves after the Elves invaded. Our Elves are really powerful. I hate it. Anyway, the Elves banished all the humans to another realm, and nobody has heard of them since.Well, not quite nobody, actually. The Elves recently invaded us, and they're going to banish us to the same place. They sent me through first. So I go flying through his portal and hit some sort of trap and my wingbones snap in four different places. So, I'm fucked, right?Well, no. Because the humans are somehow still alive, and they fucking fixed my wing! Not only that but they've been feeding me steak and chicken. I'm eating like a king here. And their entire world is absolutely nuts. They have buildings as tall as mountains and I'm starting to wonder if the dream I had about being in a giant flying machine was actually just a dream.Why would they be so nice to me? We betrayed them, shouldn't they be extracting revenge?
>>56777886Ahhhhhh I see now, he might be talking about the high elf dragon rider knights, fairly nice (for high elves) and it's not as bad as it seems although I wouldn't choose it personally, being a gold dragon being another's "property" wouldn't work for me.
>>56777953Humans don't hold grudges like dwarves do, and maybe they forgot we even existed and only have stories of our Cooperation.
>>56777953How small are you?
>>56777953Guy with the human friend here, it's because humans are weird creatures that obsess with large things. To you, your humans probably see you as some kind of celebrity, and as long as you keep being nice to them they're going to shower you with free stuff. Just be careful, you might grow too accustomed to it. >>56777969Could be fun. Like I said though, he's incapable of staying on my back, he keeps slipping and falling off. Should i just carry him? I have before, he seemed to really enjoy it. It took some force to pry him off of me when we got to our destination though.
>>56777953If the dragons in your realm are weak enough to be defeated by elves then you deserve to be defeated.And mabliks are dull creatures. They forget things after just a handful of generations.>>56777886>>56777969At what time did mabliks begin to ride us? This is pathetic.
>>56777943That would be a most wonderful prank to play!>>56777911What?
>>56777992They don't seem to remember us at all.>>56777997About six and a half feet at the shoulder and twenty feet long snout to tail. Most of that's tail, though. >>56778011I'd say that's the case but they seem more confused by me than anything. There's one man (apparently named an "operative", a title I haven't heard before) who does most of the talking to me and he always seems a bit off. >>56778017You should see our elves my friend. Their children can cast fireball with such power it can destroy a building. Their adults can do far worst.
>>56778017>being this much of a pleb that you can't even super stackEnjoy being a slave to the action economy, bitch.>b-but im a powerful mighty redAnd your triple standard treasure is very nice. At least you'll make a good trophy and armor.
>>56778017Well I've been sleeping for a few centuries so I have no idea when it started.>>56778011My next answer depends on the dwarves still hating us, so if you could clear that up for me that would be splendid.
>>56778043Use it as an advantage to gather riches my lucky brethren! You don't have to compete with any of our kind for territory. You may be on the short side but still, think of the possibilities!!
>>56777699Mortals are stupid as fuck.Do you know how popular my church is in the kingdom?They see me as The All Mighty Wyrm who shall purge their enemies and bring them eternal prosperity.And it was so easy too.All I did was burn down some cities as a dragon then turn into a human to "do battle with the evil beast" with some illusions.I also killed the king back in dragon form so when I 'Killed the dragon and consumed it's powers' they made me the king.Some accusations of the adventurers aiding the beast and boom:Revenge,a scapegoat and a kingdom full of loyal followers.Now I couldn't have done that if I just terrorised the little idiots,could I?
>>56778066They're going to banish the rest of us within the year.
>>56778043You could always ask this "operative" to provide some tomes containing history of the land you've landed in, maybe study the economy and start up a business telling stories about home.
>>56778043>operativeOh. OHHH, you're the first in this world, aren't you? They don't know how to respond to you, they're trying to determine whether your intentions are good or evil. That, and it's easier than letting you become overwhelmed with thousands of voices that all want to talk to you because you're "new" and they're excited to meet you.>>56778055Dwarves? Did you reply to the right dragon?>>56778099Now's the time to secure yourself as something they want to help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eQMsNzecEsWHY IS THIS ALLOWED??
>>56778107I suppose I could try.>>56778115I sort of figured it was something like that. He's probably one of their king's trusted advisors.But I don't know what the hell to say to him to get him on my side. I'm fairly confident that they'll panic if more of my kind start coming through, but any lie I tell will be impossible to coordinate with my brethren. Should I just tell the truth?
>>56777699>Implying you don't associate with filthy githsPlease red. You have no credibility left. You might as well become a steed for your yellow-skinned "allies".Fuck any red who ever had a mortal on his back.
>>56778131Grill it with fire.
I have an unusual and somewhat disturbing problem, my peers. I've been living alone on my mountain for the past three millenia. I like the vibes. I raid out occasionally, but not frequently, as I have amassed pretty much everything I need. That, however, does not stop adventurers and other pests from attacking my lair periodically in the hopes of slaying me. I'd say I average about 3 attacks a decade. Inevitably, I kill them, go over their gear, sort and store their possessions. I have entire caves filled with their stuff.The latest "attempt" was a lone human female. She had some basic weapons and armor, but I don't think she was even capable of defeating a bugbear, let alone me. After stomping her, I went through her gear as normal, and aside from the usual camping equipment, humanoid food, sources of light, etc., she had twenty six carvings, most of stone, but five of them were of wood. They all depicted humanoid penises, in erect positions.They're kind of disgusting, and for the first time in my life, I thought "No, I don't want this in my home". Yet every time I try to discard them, I find myself unable to. They're sitting right there in a pile outside one of my exits, and I just can't bring myself to scoop them up in a bag and drop them in some random forest somewhere. What do I do?
>>56778053>There are actually dragons so shameless that they would allow a mablik to ride themI bet the grains your masters feed you taste good.>>56778071Posing as a mablik is only acceptable when you want to humiliate them by not even beating them in your true form. All you need to do is pretend to be some sort of guardian and offer your protection in exchange for whatever you want and they accept. Eat a few virgins to encourage them and after one or two generations they'll treat you like a god.
>>56778152Be honest. Them being in the know will go miles to avoid a panic scenario when more start to appear. It'll give them a chance to clear out some space for you guys to stay at while you work out what you're going to do from then on out. If you cooperate with them, they'll work out well for you in the end. I suggest trying to become more familiar with your "operative" and take measures to try to become his friend. Having a human friend's a lot of fun, and they tend to shower you with gifts if they like you.
>>56778152Can't go wrong if it's the truth, although I recommend you go into detail about how bad things were going when the betrayal happened, and state that you carry none of the feelings of your forebears when it comes to betrayal (apart from cultural norms)
>>56778203>>56778208I guess I'll try that out. Hopefully there's a good moment for me to tell the story.
>>56778201>there are actually dragons so beta that they can't even touch a human, let alone combine forces and become even stronger than they would be alone.I bet that kobold dick you suck on makes you feel like a real slut.
On another note, the majority of the riders are partnered with red dragons who, hear this, are repenting for past crimes. Food for thought.
>>56778190Create a metal box,lock the things in the box and then throw it to somewhere you don't go very often.
>>56778275Only Reds would be reckless and stupid enough to frequently get caught then pussy out in order to get spared.
>human comes in>"hey draganon, I made dinner!">"oh, sorry, there's only one plate, but don't worry it's a lot of spaghetti, we can just share the plate!">tries to do that pasta noodle thing from the movie about the talking togs>go along with it and let him "kiss" me on the snout>stare at him and wait for his next room, a good thirty seconds or so pass>he gets up and leaves the room, red facedDid I do something bad?
>>56778275How old are these dragons? They sound painfully naive. I'm half expecting to wake up from my next nap to hear they've all been turned into furniture.
>>56778319No you did not. It wanted you to reciprocate its perverse attraction. Killing it is justfiable here.
>>56778347Killing it was always justified.
>>56778314Meanwhile a gold like me can just sit in their hoard relaxing, maybe melting the odd adventurer or two.
>>56778345The oldest I've seen was about 800 years old, partnered with some elf Nobel.
>>56778403Far too young to be any of my offspring then.Wyrmligs these days have no dignity.
>human asks, "all you do is sit around and play video games and eat all my snacks and roll around in the grass outside. Don't you have a hoard to make?">human gets mad when I make a hoard, "what the fuck are all these beer cans and snack wrappers doing here! Don't you know what a trash can is!?">human gets upset when I start hoarding trashcans, "these are public property! Are you trying to get me in trouble!?"Humans are weird
>>56778190Fire, and lots of it.>>56777778A 'level' is a soul-enhancement which provides a significant boost in power along some well defined lines. I have actually spent a goodly amount of time examining the concept alongside a few humanoids, and conducted a long-term study on their creation and acquisition.I have even determined that even a true dovah can acquire levels by performing the proper rituals. I myself am now a 6th level Sorcerer as well as an Ancient Silver Dragon.These levels enhance specific parts of your metaphysique. My own levels in Sorcerer have enhanced my spellcasting abilities far beyond what my blood should normally be able to contain. Despite being merely ancient, in raw arcane might I exceed the capabilities of even the greatest of wyrms. My strength and size have not grown to match, but I find it an acceptable trade.It is also a fairly good way to spend the centuries. These 'adventurers' have created some fairly ingenious tools. I keep my entire hoard on my person at all times - truly, the best defense a dragon could ask for. And by selectively rewarding my companions, I have recovered an incredibly large amount of treasure from the various quests and journeys our group continues to get pulled into.It is in fact quite interesting. I've only been at it for a century or so at this point, but I have yet to be bored of it. When a particular group gets too old or becomes tiring Is imply move to another material plane and inevitably find another who are bout to begin a grand quest.I suspect the hand of a Divine.
>>56778463My human is trying to encourage me to do something called "Grinding."We went out to the woods one day so he could show me what it was, and he proceeded to run and chase down packs of wolves, bears and other creatures and just slaughter them mercilessly. He had an idea that if we play-fought, he might be able to get levels just by fighting me. If I beat him, can I get these levels from him?
>>56776110I want to help my cousin. He's got something of a ridiculous physique (see the attached engraving), and I don't think a female has ever expressed interest in him.Consequently, he's always bragging on at prodigious length about the number of dwarves he's eaten, and heroes he's slain, and all that other claptrap. It's all very tiresome, but don't mistake me, I don't think what he's doing is healthy and that he needs to come to terms with his admittedly poor body image.
>>56778558I haven't nailed it down yet, but I believe this "grinding" is how they gain so called "experience points" and when they gather enough of the things, they gain a level.
>>56778601Tell him that if he puts on some muscle it will make stronger hero's wish to fight him, bringing him more glory and the like.
>>56778558Maybe if you level him.
>>56778601Explain to him that he doesn't need to overcompensate for his body and that it's,although weak and somewhat unhealthy,not the worst that exists.Hell,if he went East enough,i'm sure he'd find some others kinda like him.
>>56778606>>56778463So let me get this straight.If I go out into the woods and just kill the fuck out of a bunch of wild animals I'll start being able to throw lightning and whatnot? >>56778654Or even better. If we fight and I let him overcome me he gets stronger, and in return I defeat him and I become stronger. We can just take turns punching the hell out of eachother to get stronger??
>>56778679Try it and report back!
>>56778714Remember Don't anger any powerful forest spirits .
>>56778714Please do so,my friend.I too,participated in this acitivity after reading about it in the royal archives.After a 1 month 'vacation' in some foreign forests,some more studying and some manipulation,I became what the mortals call a level 3 Bard.I never realized my ability to seduce could improve but this experience definitely changed that.
>>56778606>>56778558Correct.Let me explain the process in a bit more detail. When a creature dies, or in some cases is merely defeated, there is a release of soul energy. In the case of death this is obviously the entire soul, whereas for mere defeat it's a smaller section which I hypothesize is a result of some kind of soul-domination acknowledgement. With the proper spells it is of course possible to observe the process.With certain individuals, small fractions of this soul-release actually bind onto their own soul, which begins to grow a new section, what I call a 'budding level node'. Each one requires a larger amount of soul-stuff (Which the adventurers call "experience"). When enough is acquired, the node resonates at a particular frequency and is completely absorbed into the host soul, which expands and grows to match it.It is quite a wondrous process to behold with active soul sight. There is a rush of golden light which erupts in a pillar around the target.The trick is, that only certain individuals seem to have the capacity to attach 'experience' to their souls to create level nodes. For everyone else, the 'experience' is as inert as unactivated magicite.>>56778679Not quite, as I said it appears that the ability to absorb and make use of experience is unique to a certain subset of the population. However I have observed people gain and lose the abilities throughout their lives. I suspect that there is a divine hand at work here, moving people into a position where they can be used to advance a divine agenda or mission, and granting the ability to acquire 'levels' as part of the process.The main component seems to be a requirement that you go out and intend to join an adventure. That desire is paramount in being chosen to acquire the 'levelling' power. I noticed it myself when I made the resolution - I found a group much too quickly for simple chance to allow.
>All of my Draconian brethren are attempting to "level" and "grow in strength" >Implying we aren't magical perfection at birth.Never have I felt such disappointment in my own kind.
>>56779000I've killed around 6 chromatic great wyrms who had the same idea. They began the combat laughing at the puny ancient silver and his puny mortal companions, and ended it begging for either their lives or the sweet release of death.Well, we gave them one of those things.
>>56778927Yeah, I know the feeling that some kind of divine intervention is leading adventurers until I roast them. Almost as if they were listening to some kind of "master."Alhtough a being that devine is probably just playing games with them for it's own amusement.
>>56779037Typical that a Silver would be too weak to fight on his own and would seek others to assist him.
>>56778770>>56778842>>56778927I didn't realize how hard a human can hit with a stick! We decided to spar with one another just to get an idea of our respective strengths and I offered to let him take the first attack against me. He picked up a stick and struck me three times in rapid succession, and I felt my body just collapse to the floor. He looked absolutely terrified and he quickly came to my aid, administering some medicine. He hugged me and began to apologize, and I felt awkward. Then suddenly he lets go of me and has this shit eating grin on his face. I asked him why he looked so happy all of a sudden and he replied "Just levelled up. Roleplaying experience."
>>56779130Surprise grandpa,but we're not all complete loners like you.I personally believe mortals are useful as meat shields but some may come to...Like their meat shields and start caring for them,which by the way is very weird but to each's own,I suppose.Plus,when they die,you get all their treasure and equipment.Now,why don't you go back to your cave and enjoy your twilight?
>>56779130>calls others weak>gets his ass farmed on a weekly basis>doesn't know the power of jolly co-operationOh boy yet another plain jane basic bitch dragon that has fire breath, some basic melee attacks and a limited selection of spells. Don't worry, we're not gonna waste your time, youll be dead in like two, maybe three rounds tops.
Hello my fellow dragons!I have a question for you, my scaled bretheren!How do you protect yourself from vulnerabilities?Like, I need some help and examples. Can you tell me what kind of dragon you are, your vulnerabilities, and how you typically protect them?This information will help me sla- i mean save myself from those evil, evil adventurers who are so weak that they can't beat fellow dragons like us and they are so stupid they could never form an elaborate ruse to get information.
>>56779244Age only brings me more strength little silver, which is why I need no companions to assist me. As the Dracolich would tell you, the Twilight is not something I will ever experience.I will grant the Silver Carenath some credit however. His findings are very close to something else I discovered a few millennia ago.
>>56778434From my prescriptive you all are young but as one that remembers our age of glory I am most disappointed in the most recent generations
>>56779130Child, I could kill you in human form in an antimagic field, try not to antagonize your betters.>>56779201Ah, this is very good experimental evidence! I have long suspected that the divines can grant additional experience for major character-defining moments or statements which correspond with their portfolios! This is very helpful!>>56779244I have seen a mortal with 18 levels singlehandedly destroy a mountain. Another founded a religion. I've seen four ascend to godhood, 3 become angels, 4 become fiends, and far, far too many become villains of such power than a wyrm would quake to behold them.Underestimate mortals at your own peril, for I never shall. While they do not have our natural gifts, they have incredibly potential.
>>56779351Age brings wisdom and strength. I have grown in leaps and bounds as I recently was reclassified by the local mortals as a Young Adult shortly before I ate a knight that thought to slay me. In other news I managed to bring the local kobolds under my dominion so my strength grows every day!
>>56779402Should I be worried if my human's level is higher than mine? by like six levels now...
>>56779351Not sure I believe you.The last guy that told me that ended up being nothing but bone in a year or two.On the upside of the whole situation,I was there to witness it and thus the first and only to get his treasure.Ego is a problem among our kind.We may definitely be better than those pitiful mortals but when we start spouting off that we're immortal is when the problems come.
>>56779452As long as you are bigger than him, it's usually quite easy to convince them you are still stronger than them.But get on leveling quick, before he outlevels you and becomes cocky
>>56779452No, no, this is normal.So as a dragon, your soul is much larger and stronger than your human friends. As such, it makes much more experience for your soul to grow, whereas your human friend has much more room to expand quickly.I suspect this is some some of divine balancing in the experience system. I have notice that, for the most part, adventuring parties tend to remain within 1-2 levels of each other, whereas my natural strength meant that my six levels and natural power put me in roughly the same power level as a mortal with 25 or so levels.I suspect that our natural strength counts as a sort of "phantom levels" which I have come to call "effective levels". Mine is 19, so my natural strength as an Ancient Silver counts for 19 levels.I suspect yours as a young dragon would be in the 7-10 or so range, so if your human is six levels higher than your 1-2 levels that would be understandable.
>>56779472Immortality is a ruse to lure the foolish away to their fate. I am not immortal, and even undeath is not true immortality.But I have long since outlived the lifespan of my color, and the Twilight will never embrace me from a discovery I made many an age ago.
>>56779501>>56779527On the plus side, the human's been collecting rare seeds from the battles he's been fighting. Eating a handful of them at a time can improve one's physical or mental parameters, and he's giving me a lot of them to make me more "Meaty", whatever that means. I feel a bit heavier, but it also feels like I could shrug off anything. I guess it makes sense with >>56779527 then, so we're pretty close. I think I got lucky with this human, he's alright.
>>56779536I am old, and tired and not as strong as I was. But these bones still remember their ancient strength and days of glory when the world was young and Io and his three children walked amongst us. Do not so readily dismiss the possibility of twilight for forever is often not as forever as it may seem
>>56779536You keep hinting at this "discovery" like it's a goddamn plot hook, so fuck it - ill bite."Oh great red dragon, what is this discovery you have made that makes you so awesome and wonderful?"
>>56779536>>56779677I suspect it's merely an eight circle necromancy effect called "steal life". I found a copy in a necromancer's tower a few years ago and have the spellbook in my hoard.Vile, disgusting stuff, perverting a soul to erase some of the entropy from your own.Just what I'd expect from a red.
>>56779677Spotted the Joor. Everyone check your traps.
>>56779705thats a bit rude isn't it? I mean I don't go around insulting your chosen magical specialty and color this is /dragon not /metalic kindly leave your partisanship behind, except about wyverns hate on wyverns all you want
Hello fellow dragons, it is I, also a dragon, and NOT a knight in disguise! What is the hypothetically best way for a knight, which I am not, to slay one of us while we sleep? I am asking so I can prepare and not for nefarious reasons.
>>56779705Oh,yes I remember reading something about that back when I was going through different magic schools to see which would be best for me.Truly vile stuff,wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies.
>>56776139Make sure he has enough towers to keep them in though, if you suddenly drop a dozen noble-born virgins on his lap and he's only got a single tower, he aint got nowhere to put them.
>>56779713I am continually surprised that any older dragons ever don't have Mind Blank active.>>56779760While some aspects of the necromantic arts have positive uses, and some are benign, trust me when I say this particular spell is pure and unmitigated evil, and its users deserve exactly the kind of death to which I have consigned them wherever they were found.
>>56779781Oh, well that's easy. All a knight would have to do is hire three kenders to join their company and travel with them for a while.
>>56779705No such thing. I do not dabble in necromancy. The magical fields I specialize in are normally Evocation in nature.I admit I'm disappointed, as my secret is quite similar to your field of research, Silver. Perhaps you're not as far along as I thought.>>56779760Metallics are always far too pompous, I'd suggest ignoring him.
>>56779635>trusting humans>letting humans feed you>not being alarmed when they want you to get fat and heavy>not realizing that humans just see you as loot and experience>not knowing that if they can't cage or control you they will kill youRed has it right. You all are fucking dead already.
>>56779781Well,I would say that they should step up in front of us and make as much noise as possible while touching our hoard.The metallic sounds totally don't rouse us from our sleep and just remind us of our treasure which puts us into a deeper sleep.Also they shouldn't worry about our eyes opening,because,as you surely know as a fellow dragon,we sometimes do that when we're asleep.
>>56779835Yes, this is a good first step. Another helpful tidbit is to slaughter a cow and strap several large steaks to the armor.A lesser known fact is that dragon noses actively ignore the smell of steak. It was a strange change the first time I took human form. Such a wonderful aroma when i could smell it.The steaks should camoflague your scent and allow you to sneak up on the dragon unmolested.In fact, I **SUGGEST** you do so right now.(As an aside, learning to apply runic spells to text chat was by far my funniest discovery)
>>56779806I helped make that spell I don't need to "trust" you on anything. and evils such a relative term anyways. Is killing the entire ocean by infusing it with enough necrotic energy to may the shadowfel look nice evil? maybe, is doing that to prevent a far realm incursion good? maybe >>56779857your fairly pompous yourself as am I as were Taimat and bahamutand Io as I recall frankly being pompous is in our nature as dragons
>>56779857Oh, evocation? Easy peasy, there's a spell in our realm that lets someone sever a spellcaster's magical abilities, effectively turning them mundane and inert. We'll just use that on you, it offers no resistance or save and is simple to perform, just extremely taxing (read: two levels and six con loss) to cast.
>>56776110My suggestion is you take your forumrp shit to >>>/qst/ where it belongs
>>56779913Speaking of that necromantic effect, all my ritual a few months ago did was divert that necromantic energy to the moon. Is all of that energy still up there?
>>56779876Why would my human go through hoops to make me stronger and on par with him just to kill me in the end? He practically worships me.
>>56779956Niggas in /qst/ say to go to /tg/Niggas in /tg/ say to go to /qst/Fuck off.
>>56779975I will enjoy picking the bones out of your corpse and animating you to serve me in the end.I warned you of your arrogance, and what would befall you.
>>56779975probablynecrotic energy doesn't really go away
>>56780010>i love shitting up boards with freeform deviant art roleplay!>oh no someone told me that /tg/ is for the discussion of traditional games and that roleplay/quest threads belong on /qst/!>hmmmm im so confused I'll just suck my dick and tell him to fuck off because i'm a goddamn troglodyteFriendly tip, it's not across the wrists or down the highway, it's through the jugular.
>>56780038I wasn't aware we would stoop down so low as to impersonate each other.Disgraceful.
>>56780038Child, if I had a platinum coin for every threat resembling that I have received, I could line my mountain range in the stuff.If the Undead one threatened me I would take it seriously, but most certainly not someone who can be driven out of their home as easily as you.
>>56780093>in a quest there is a single author who controls the plot of the story and who drives the creative process. They can choose to take suggestions from other posters, or not, at their sole discretion.wow this sure is a quest
>>56780131I see.That is why I have a spell of clarity active, to avoid such a situation. Very well.I bet it was a Green.
>>56780132im not really motivated enough to threaten you
Okay /dtg/ i fucked up.I took >>56779501 's advice and decided to do a show of power, grabbing my human and picking him up, convincing him that I could eat him at any time by opening my maw wide and engulfing his head and shoulders, growling a bit, then letting him go.It didn't scare him. It made him excited. I can roar at him, tower over him, try to be intimidating - none of it works, he LOVES this stuff.HELP
>>56780093While I apologize for my outburst,I fail to see the point in this argument.This was already posted on /qst/.People said to do it on /tg/.So I did.You also appear to be the only one to object to this thread being here.The other posters haven't said anything and the mods haven't done shit.So yeah.
>>56780221The point is a thread DIED for this.This is garbage.This is roleplay.This is the >>>/trash/ that will pierce the shitpost.DELETE THIS SHITTY FUCKING THREADIMMEDIATELY
Question for the elders, I have experienced something perplexing. I encountered a Mimic that snuck into my Horde and is hiding all of my gold within its body. As I prepared to burn the wretch to ash for its trespasses it spoke begging me to spare it and consider a bargain. That it would hide all my treasure within its body so that way thieves would not be able to steal it. In return it would live in my lair hidden as mantel. Draconic brethren, what am I to do about this? I am torn between righteous fury and the knowledge that this creature could be useful. Better yet, outside of its behavior I have never seen such a Mimic much less one that could store piles of treasure in such a small space.
>>56780272I smell a pissy Wyvern. Just ignore them guys.
>>56780330 Reclaim your treasure and replace it with an illusion of treasure. I have three with that very same task and they can be most useful, but nonetheless they do not get to have any actual treasure.
>>56780335Hiss! HISS! GRAAH SNARRGH, HISS!!
>>56780201Possibly he may have what it takes to start a dragon cult if you're inclined to do so. I wouldn't as my father's cult broke down into infighting when he left for a week long siesta to enjoy humanity.
>>56780373what if i kinda like it though too.
>>56780272Oh no,a random guy ordered me to delete the thread.I'm so intimidated.I bet your wings are small.
>>56780366Filthy mongrel, away with you!! None here can stand your stench and I am sorely tempted to bathe you in flame.
>>56780415You know why they call him toothless?Because my massive tree trunk dick rammed into his mouth and shattered them all.Yeah. I just went there... I just mentioned that I'm a treant.Now fuck off out of this neck of the woods before I do something you will really not like.Heh, kid.... you don't even see the assassin vine right behind you.
>>56780413Maybe explore it? Humans are odd creatures and can help the centuries go by.
>>56780201>>56780413 Devour him and get a new mablik. They are a renewable resource anyways.
>>56780427draggonss r stupID! and THEM dum Ashole, hiss haahk, bigg hoARD? mOR leik bBIg WHORE
>>56780439That is very true.
Hey guys, how do I give these humans the idea to procreate with themselves and leave me alone? I will admit that my horde isn't the largest but that doesn't stop these tin cans from storming in and getting fried inside their own armor. You would think that they would know that lightning and metal is not a healthy combination for them but I swear every week or two another just storms in right by the pile of the last ones who tried to grab what little I have. Anyone have any ideas?
>>56780511Have you tried talking to them?Or hell invest your gold into their economies and get a huge return on investment. These captchas can go fuck themselves! SIX fucking waves of "click the street signs" to post. Fuck off!
>>56780511Hard to do, they usually come to try and slay you, to bolster their chances to procreate in a meaningful way among themselves.
>>56780493Who thought it would be funny to teach the Wyvern to speak? Surely none of us? >>56780511I'd suggest visiting the locals in human form and ask them politely to stop bothering you. That they may claim the bodies of the dead if they wish but any further trespass will be met with fire, claw, and tooth. Mortals sometimes need it said directly to understand the danger they face with us.
>>56780558Well... no I haven't and I don't think they would listen either. Looking back at it I think one of them was one of those "noble" things (as if they would know the meaning of the word). I took a look through the pile I had set up as deterrent and one of them looks flashier than the rest. Couldn't have been too important though considering they haven't sent more than a few at a time.>>56780579I think I might as well give it a try but- Ah hells I think there's another one coming to try something, be right back
I once kidnapped a princess for ransom.Turns out they are super high maintenance so I just left her in a tower and took off.Then a knight came and found me while I was sleeping and asked me why I had just let her go. I explained my experiences with the princess to him and he totally understood.We wound up becoming pretty great friends, going on comfy adventures exploring places and occasionally helping out small villages when they had a problem that was simple enough to solve.Eventually, the knight grew old and withered away, dying in my arms asking me to not cry for him.I didn't,but I can't help but feel like his death left a hole in my heart. Anyone else ever get this feel?
So has anybody ever got someone to make a painting of you? I thought about it and had some trial runs, but the paintings never turned out the way I wanted. Is that because humans just can't represent us with hteir limited mind or do I just have to wait for the right one?
>>56780771Yes. See >>56777778and pic related.I can post more if you want? I have a few.
>Ctrl+F>princess>Phrase not foundIt didn't occur to any of you to kidnap a princess as a gift for OP's brother? Wyrmlings these days... OP, you are fortunate that your brother did not eat you before you hatched. You had better pay your debt and make a very good impression. I'd suggest presenting him a harem of at least ten relatively intelligent princesses from ten different planes.
>>56780856Literally what? >>56780757
>>56780757Why would you kidnap a royal much less a human of any sort? They always whine about being hungry, being cold, and are never grateful. If they can't care for themselves just turn them out.>Implying I've ever had a human want to reside with me.
>>56780884I dunno, it just seemed like a good idea at the time i'm SORRY THE PLAN HAD HOLES IN IT
>>56780902I apologize for my rudeness nothing was meant by it. I'm just not really fond of dealing with mortals.
>>56776110Oh damn. I ate this elder brain a month ago in retaliation for some squid-faces stealing some of my hoard. Worst mistake I ever made. I have been having these horrible, HORRIBLE shits the entire time. I have literally caused an entire mountain to be declared a zone of dangerous magickal waste by the nearby elven community and warded as off limits to all. I don't know when it's going to stop; I don't think it'll kill me, but I sometimes wish it would.Don't make my mistake. Just collapse their caves if you run into problems with the little bastards.
>>56780884>Implying I've ever had a human want to reside with me.I can see you've never met a copper...The harems I've seen...Princesses can be helpful from an adventuring perspective, but only if their families have been recent deposed, or died under mysterious circumstances leaving the kingdom in the control of an obviously evil vizier.It happens much more often than you'd expect.>>56780951This is why the gods invented Wish.Wow, I remember when I couldn't cast Wish. Those times sucked.Learn to cast Wish kids. It fixes pretty much every problem.
Oh man fellow draganons I think I found the one human to top them all.>Be me>Just chilling on /dtg/ (not like a white though)>Trying to get help with >>56780511>Hear some mortal approach>Not another one.mirage>Get to the front of my lair and look as intimidating as possible>Before I can say a word this human rushes in and speaks in some shrill voice saying something about my great majesty or something>Didn't hear much of it because I got a better look at him>Tapestry related>He tried to look like me>That horn isn't even real>No scales>Why does he have a feather cloak, I don't have feathers>I can still see some of that delicate skin that humans have>Meanwhile I'm just shocked at the sight in front of me>As I refocus I hear him say that he would do anything I wish>Just tell him to leave and tell his friends to stop bothering me>He bows several times and hurriedly runs outGuys what the fuck happened. I mean I'm glad it wasn't another one of those walking lightning rods but this guy clearly has some issues considering its something like a five day journey into the desert from the nearest human settlement. I'm worried that he will come back in that ridiculous outfit of his again, what should I do?
>when your human refers to you as "thicc">when your human rubs that point where your back becomes your tail>when your human begs to be eaten by you>when you tell him he's pathetic and then you fly away for a whileOhhhhhhhhh man that's so fucking satisfying.
>>56780353An update for you Old Red, the Mimic turned out to be partially made of a Bag of Holding and was quite willing to return my treasure when I threatened to rip him apart and destabilize the pocket dimension that was his stomach. I have cast an illusion over some rocks and cheap trinkets for him to hold as a ruse for any would be adventurers.
>>56780994Count your hoard. I got hit by that same god damn scam. Fucker comes in and distracts you with the most absurd shit while some skinny brown elf slut comes in and jacks your gold. I barely caught her but she eluded me when I tried to claw her to death. Why the fuck does a bra have more defense than a goddamn set of full plate?!
>>56780873I type slowly. This keyboard is too small for my claws and that post was not there when I started.>>56780884>They always whine about being hungry, being cold, and are never grateful.That's the beauty of it. They squirm and cry, beg and plead, and when you tire of them you can feed them to your slaves and see their final moments of shrieking and wailing. Seeing the most beloved mortals in such a pitiful state is wondrous.
>>56780978Oh really? One day I will have to visit the coppers on the other side of the mountains to see for myself. Personally I'm hesitant to be around the younger races, they're annoying, needy and always staring. Not really something I like to be around.How did you learn Wish by the way? I've always heard I would learn it when I was older but have yet to receive it.
All of you are small time.Hydra master race, we can shitpost and make seven of these godforsaken threads on this board instead of on /qst/ where you belong, and run them all at the same time.
>>56781062>implying I have slavesYes...well I personally am just up in my lair...alone. So yeah.
>>56781066In addition to the natural power of my blood, I gained six levels of Sorcerer, so I cast as a 21st level sorcerer. Sorcerers of 18th level and higher can learn spells of the ninth circle, such as Wish.If you don't start leveling, You'd have to wait until great wyrm age. About 1200 years.
>>56781043Ah shit, I hope this wasn't that. I'd rather have some lunatic than some thief, I don't want to have to go and scour the sands for some treasures while my lair is wide open.
>>56781101You haven't lived until you've had a hundred slaves simultaneously cleaning your scales with wire brushes.
>>56781113I may have to level after all then. I cast as a 5th lvl currently. Well it gives me a reason to go out and gather treasure at least, I've been sitting on the same pile for some time now. Any tips for a soon to soon to be adventurer? Any chance I can go solo without mortals along to bug me?
>>56781113Dont forget to get you a human to level with. Me and mine are having a great time together. >>56781150I don't know about a wire brush, but my human likes to clean me off with warm water, soap, and a sponge. Soap tastes terrible, by the way.
>>56781150Ah so you are a chromatic then? I prefer not to coerce mortals into servitude, only that they leave me alone. Though with me going on an adventure soon I suppose I had best learn to interact with them.
>>56781179You *can* but you're missing out on great opportunities to get experience and levels for literally just talking to eachother, not to mention you'll be losing out on having people that would throw themselves in front of you to take damage for you just because they don't want to see you get hurt. Not to mention the extra attacks per minute mean you can grind treasure and exp a lot faster.
>>56781179>>56781233In addition to the rather stark realist approach favored by our friend here, adventuring companions are a great opportunity to learn more about the world. Even with a dragon's lifespan, it's impossible to know or be able to do everything. Having companions can teach you many incredible things about the world you never might have learned on your ownAnd the lessons they have learned can come with serious skills which can save you when all else seems lost. I have many mortal friends, some of whom I consider my equals, as much as any mortal can be.Some of them are now demigods.When you've been through a few full parties, you can end up with enormous networks of allies.And that is the real benefit. I can thumb my nose at any of these old chromatic fogeys not just because of my own (considerable) arcane might, but because I have a legion of friends who have my back, and who would aid me in any true conflict.The power brought to bear by the greatest historical heroes of several worlds working in unison... It's a sight to behold.I tell you true when I say never to underestimate them. I've watched men slay gods. I've seen worlds destroyed and rebuilt.And sometimes, they make rather amusing jokes.
Hmm I will consider your words Elder. Truthfully I should have been spending the centuries exploring already, my treasure isn't growing any by me laying on it. Very well, I shall approach some adventurers and attempt to join them.
>>56781366Oh god yes, this so much.>demon knight raises a huge shield to stop incoming attacks>rush him, grab the shield and pry it away>knight runs up my back and leaps off my shoulders, plunging his sword at the exposed monster>monster staggers back and I raise my wings>surprise, the elf and halfling were hiding in there with ranged weapons and they unload on your vulnerability>quickly drop down in front of them and start using myself to block the energy discharge from it dying>healer keeps me fully healed, everyone makes it out with no problemalso>when the bard and you take turns playing song to bolster one another, switching back and forth in melee combat, wearing down the enemy with different attack styles each time you engage>leading up to a crescendo where the two of you overwhelm the foe with intensity from the fighting and the song in one powerful cooperative strike from both sidesIf you are not gaining allies and building a hoard of power, you are seriously underselling yourself.
Do you keep humans? If, so then why, or why not if not? I personally like to capture them and observe how they develop. It's funny how two of them who hate each other with a passion can develop a lasting and deep romance, when they are under threat.Oh and their comperatively small hands are really good to clean corners of my lair that are otherwise hard to reach.
What to do about a future father in law who wants to murder you? He hasn't said it outright, but I am absolutely certain he will follow through as soon as he can blame me for something. I thought we might be able hit things off, I mean I'm blue and he's also blue...but apparently that's not how things work for them?
>group of humans wanders into my lair>they pick a fight with me>easily kill the four of them>suddenly see them back at the cave entry>they are talking amongst themselves, then they decide to fight me again>they get killed again>once more, they seem to magically reappear unharmed>they leave, dont see them for a good while>they come back, decked from head to toe with tons of powerful equipment>they decide to fight me>I get the shit kicked outta me>they dont kill me, instead they ask me to touch something>some kind of tablet with a message asking me to confirm that I'd like to give them an achievement for beating me>reluctantly agree, they start cheering and celebrating and run off>didnt touch my treasure>never see them againwhat the fuck
>>56781758Ah.You appear to be on a 'video game' plane. Probably of the 'MMO' subtype.I suggest leaving that plane as soon as possible.
>>56781043>>56781124Ok I checked everything over and nothing is missing, looks like it was just a crazy mortal. Still I worry he may come back in that ridiculous outfit of his.
Good, i may search out this mortal and persuade them to travel with me. Maybe that will be a good stepping stone into dealing with the younger races.
This thread sucks.
>>56784209THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH WYVERNS
>>56784269I leave for a little bit to snack on some cattle and I come back to find that someone gave a Wyvern a headband of vast intelligence. What nonsense is this?
>enter thread with boner>leave soft
Alright you wyrms, time to show us what you're made of. Tell us all about the absolute most horrendous injury you've managed to live through!
>>56785218One time, I asked a princess out but she said AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>56784513>t. hammerspace autist
>>56786077You do know you're supposed to polymorph *first* right?
>>56785218define "lived through
>>56785218One time, I pissed off this city of dwarves so much that they forged a sword keyed not to slay dragons as such, they forged a sword to slay me in particular. Just being in the same room as the damn thing made me feel like my soul was draining away, and two swipes with that thing laid me out for a long, long while. I lived though, and cursed the withering fucks who took the blade to my scales.
>>56785218None, because I'm not a pleb that gets hit.
>>56785218I'm not sure if this counts but when a party of Level 19 Adventurers realized they were fighting a losing battle against me, they used a Wishing Artifact to seal me in my lair for roughly ten dozen millennia.Needless to say, I was miffed by it.
>>56786831Only 19? Damn you're lucky dude, there are Level 40 adventurers running around here, forming "Unions" of 25 heroes at a time to fight one creature.On the flipside there are cosmic horrors with levels so high they easily break triple digits.
I was wandering though the multiverse, and I stumbled through a very weird place where the inhabitants - the intelligent ones, by which I mean dragons - have actually been so far spread and so focused on their genetics that they've actually bred themselves into specific elemental and material correlations. I mean - and I wish I were joking - there were white dragons which were associated with evil and destruction and ice, red dragons associated with fire and destruction and power, silver dragons associated with goodness and ice, and so on. I went exploring further, and found others associated with specific elemental and fundamental forces - void dragons who did the 'between the stars' thing and were hungry and evil, solar dragons that associated themselves with stars (yeah, figure that naming scheme out), astral dragons that toured the astral plane....it was ~weird~.I stumbled upon a group of adventurers, and they thought that because i was black I would be breathing acid on them instead of eliminating them with the absolute destructive power of ordered elements and then dropping blobs of raw chaos on them in total violation of what they thought I would do. they didn't even have spell shaping masteries or spell law systems to confine the destuctiveness of their spells!Seriously, some of these universes are fucked up.
>>56787190Whatever substance you're on, I want some.
Alright, so I don't know what I have gotten myself into, and I am pretty sure my Dad would disapprove, but curiosity got the better of me. Help me out!>Be me, young Silver Dragon.>Fairly lazy, very small hoard.>Got a nice cave up a mountain overlooking an old, sweet hamlet.>Been collecting the corpses of past mayors. Got about 34 of them so far.>Pretty sure the lady dragon on the other peak is impressed. Might invite her for a "tour" once I collect the current mayor.>Anyway, Human shows up. Nice suit, big eyes, got a smug look. I hate him.>Says he has a proposal for me. >Apparently he's not scared of dragons.>What even is this Human?>He wants a bag a gold, and promises to multiply it for me within a month.>"Wtf, you can do that?">I am too stupid to pass up that chance.>He takes a bag of gold and leaves.>I will regret this.>A month later he comes back with 3 bags of gold. >It's all for me.>"Wait, how did you do that?">He won't tell me. But he offers to do it again.>Give him 4 bags of gold, and he comes back with 12 bags a month later.>This shit is too good.>Every month he comes with more gold than I gave him. >I still hate his smug face.>He comes around with gold, does some mathematics, and then borrows more gold.>My hoard is growing fast.>What the hell is happening?!>He even brings in jewellery, artefacts, and other good stuff now as well.>I want to know his secret.>I polymorph and follow him around.>He runs a "bank". He guards people's gold and treasure. Well... I guard it for him.>It can be taken out at any time. My cave is just a "bank vault".>I'm just pretending to have a large hoard this whole time.>I only own a portion of the hoard.He refers to me as a "banker" when talking about me (what even is that?). Lady dragon thinks I am a stud now. My Dad thinks I am a good dragon. I haven't done a damn thing for a whole year. That Human does all the work. What happens if I'm found out? Am I in too deep? What do I do?!
What do I do when a random Human randomly appears in my cave from time to time, just to talk and practice Bending Fire? Keeps mumbling about wisdom and majesty of Red dragons. Can't seem to kill him with my fire breath as he just begins "bending it". Should I be worried?Red dragon 3000 years old here.
>>56788443Probably some sorcerer or something, why don't you just give him a bite or two? Lead him in saying you want to give him some knowledge or something then when he's not expecting it end him.
>>56788542Tried that, too fast, kept side stepping and somersaulting. He still keeps coming in, doesn't fight me, he doesn't even steal any treasure. Any dragonbros have ideas on how to deal with this?
>>56788763let him keep doing it. eventually, he'll die of exhaustion
>>56788779He's been doing it for 98 years...
>>56788054If he has told no-one else of how he is guarding their gold, then you should be safe to kill him whenever you please. Let him grow your hoard more or perhaps just take his smug head as your next trophy. As long as nobody else knows of his methods then nobody will know where to look for his corpse. >>56788898Either he's a point-eared elf or a magic user to have lived so long ... or maybe a Green playing a trick on you ...
>>56788443Fuckin idiot. Just reach into your bags and pull out an Eternum box. That'll put the little shitter in his place. Even if he is immune to instant death, he still takes a thousand points of damage.
>Meanwhile on /d/tg...Hey guys, horns or tail?
Horns. Closer to the face.
>>56788923You know, I probably would if I had to. I'll keep it as a last resort if it comes to it. Wow, I hadn't even considered that possibility.I know he tells people his bank vault is in the town past my mountain (there isn't a town there...), but hopefully no one accidentally stumbles upon my cave.Though he did give me a sculpture of myself recently. You don't suppose he's trying to bribe me for further co-operation, do you? >>56788977Horns. You can tell a lot by how well the horns have held up
>>56789236The sculpture is likely a token to keep your favor. If he is as clever as he seems he likely realizes that you will eventually find out what is really going on, and wants to be in your good graces. If he has not come to this conclusion, he may be trying to "diversify" your hoard to keep you from getting bored of his "offerings" always being the same thing. Humans are a strange sort, one can never tell what assumptions they hold of us.
>>56788977Tail. Thicc tail.
>>56788054Easy. Once the hoard is big enough, execute a hostile takeover by devouring the banker. If any of the depositors come visit, tell them their savings were re-packaged into a complex derivative, the gold tranch irreversably optioned intonation your horde, and if they have a problem with that they can go sue the banker’s family or visit the complaints department in your gullet.Humans call it capitalism. They love it. Mark my words, in two weeks they’ll be worshipping you as Golddrake Sacks, Creator of Jobs.
Hmmm, didn't know that the Dragons were still active. Guess surprises come in rather big packages after all.
>>56786831> they used a Wishing Artifact to seal me in my lair for roughly ten dozen millenniaWait... so you were SEALED IN YOUR LAIR for 120,000 YEARS?I thought you’d achieved great age the honest way, through power and cunning and belligerence. You just got punked by humans! So much for Mister “I’d never let a mablik ride ME” Tough Drake.
>>56776110Hey guys, so a while ago the mountain my old lair was in was yanked out from the ground and hurled into the sun (I wasn't there when it happened), and I just recently found another lair to replace it but I'm not sure about it. Supposedly this place was the sanctuary of Salama the Red Wyrm of Disaster. I originally came here ready to do anything for a place to stay a while, but I didn't need to because she was dead. I double checked in the nearest pisspoor ramshackle village to see what I missed, but there was no news. No adventurers come to slay the dragon. I checked her corpse again. She just killed herself. Really fucking weird. All her treasure was gone too, no gold, magic items, trinkets, or furniture. It wasn't looted, she just never had them. Fucking weird. There's just ugly black brambles running along the inside of her lair, some eggs (might be hers, I don't know, they're dead though, I checked), and a disgusting very scarred human cruxified over Salama's corpse. He might be breathing, I can't tell but I doubt it. He's also got some draconic carved into his back, it's hard to read out though, something something, "my beautiful man." What do?
>>56789838You are doomed, you've seen something you shouldn't have and you are now Marked. I'd offer you my sympathy, but you most likely wouldn't care for it.
>its late>im tired from all the fighting me and my human have done to train and improve our levels>human makes a rather tasty pot of chili on a cold night>we finish off the evening drinking beer around a campfire, having a good time>i curl up for the night, begin to rest>human stands near me, wants to join me>let him, he lays down and snuggles up to me, resting against my chest and belly>he reaches up and begins to gently rub my snout and maw>feels good, lay my head next to his chest, he gives me a hug and goes to sleepGood night, fellow draganons. I know some of you dont sleep, but thats okay - have a good night anyway.
>>56790023Nah. I'll just refurnish the place, starting from scratch like I've done before. I've already moved her corpse and the eggs, but the brambles are being stubborn. As for the humie, I just yanked him off the cross and munched him down. He squirmed a bit and let out a yelp before I crushed his torso in my maw. Who'd have thunk he'd be alive this long? Well I'm heading off to sleep, good night to you >>56790236 too.
>>56789679hi>>56789754120000 years isn't that long though it is rather boring to be stuck in your lair
Hey guys, blue draganon here again. Anyone got any tips for lair defense while I'm away? There isn't exactly much out here except sand and the occasional ruin and I'm sure some of you guys can think of something.
>>56789754That is not even the majority of my age, it is only the most annoying thing I've had to deal with from a conflict.>>56790643Do you have any minions?
>>56789359Crafty little things. I think I can respect that. Just a little.And the lady dragon is getting sweet with me. That sculpture seems to be a tail magnet. Not sure how, but she finds it impressive I've gotten one. Maybe I'll lose my virginity after all. Also it turns out the lady dragon is, like 5x my age - she doesn't look it at all. Should I go for it, or is she too old and wise for me?>>56789666Trips confirm it.Holy shit, Humans are weird.Alright, I'll ride this wave a while longer and see what happens. Seems I can take advantage of this to the max. Maybe I will mind control that Human and get him to teach me this "banker" business and get other Human settlements to give me their gold as well like this.Who would have thought a lonely hamlet in the middle of nowhere could get me this rich? I was just trying to find a nice spot away from all the bigger Chad dragons so I would't have to compete for treasure and mates. And now I already have a larger hoard than my older brother.
>be me>raised as a human>thought I was a human>16th birthday>dragon slayer attacks me>my dragon instincts kick in>accidentally murder everyone I know>dragon slayer curses me>kill him>depression>want to die>cursed with the fast regeneration of a Terrasque>can't even kill myself
>>56784491Was the one who did it a wizard? That sounds like a very wizard thing to do.>>56784209Couldn't be, I doubt they can type with their wings. Unless they humiliate themselves further by pecking at the keys like a sparrow.>>56785218Nothing too big, just some gashes on my side while educating a younger dragon on the finer points of staying the fuck out of my hunting grounds.>>56786092Oh hey you're talking about me. Only found this thread just now. Wonder if I should play one here.>>56790643Find some kobolds? Otherwise, sand should make for some decent quicksand traps if you can supply water.
>>56789838>>56790387Dude, that has got bad news written all over it. I don't trust it.
Hey, /dragon/, purely out of curiosity, what's a good hatchday gift for kobolds to give to their young silver mistress?Just hypothetically. She's a nice dragon.
>>56793894Can't go wrong with virgin nobles. But silvers are stuck up, so consenting virgin nobles are usually preferred.
/dragon/ I have a problem. My mate is apparently royalty within her flight, and I only found out after we became engaged. I have to go "pay my respects" to her family in about a year or so, and she hasn't given me a single detail about what that might entail. Every time I ask her she just goes "Why spoil the fun?", casts Invisibility on herself and trots off laughing.I'm not a walking cataclysm like some of you here are, but I've had my fair share of acomplisments under my belt(set up my own PMC, killed a Tarrasque once), so I'm just kind of wondering what "paying my respects" to a bunch of old silvers might entail.
>>56794163Well they're silvers so they love their human form more than their dragon form because they're ashamed so I wouldn't worry too much.
>>56794163Oof, well that's a predicament.I hear the dead bodies of notable dragon slayers can be a good generic gift for such an occasion. Or you can kill an enemy of his and bring the proof of the deed. That's what my dad likes to do to win favour. And he's pretty well-respected.But the enemies of your to-be extended family are probably very strong, so good luck with that.And congratulations. If you pull this off, you are going to be living the good life.
>be me, 2 years ago>Hear a rustling at my lair entrance>stomp my way to the entrance>"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER...">do that cool mist shit with my snout while I say it>"Me ya overgrown kobold!">look down at the mouth of the cavern to turn this rude intruder into a popsicle>It's some female halfling wearing rags and two sticks tied together>takes all my power not to collapse the cavern with my laughter>"YOU COME TO FACE A DRAGON, AN ANCIENT ONE AT THAT, WITH NOTHING BUT SOME STICKS!?">"I'd use the good ones if you hadn't FUCKING STOLE THEM!">halfling obviously doesn't get how dragon ownership work>pick out a nice place for a new statue and start building up cold breath>halfing starts twirling around her sticks, screaming like a slaad>she dashes forward and starts wailing on my leg with her sticks>bone cracks like a dry twig, fall prone instantly>say "fuck it" and decide to go for a claw swipe>midget dodges my massive claws like they weren't even there >combos into my exposed head and knocks me out>I wake up a few hours later and misfire my coldbreath into the cavern celing>goddamnit not again>check over my horde and tend to my now shattered femur>halfing didn't take anything but some exercise equipment I found a few days before>pic related>decide I need to seriously up my game before I get my loot back>might as well try what that halfing did since she soloed a fucking adult white dragonDoes anybody know a craftsman that makes nunchaku big enough for a dragon?I'm gonna smash this bitch something good.
>>56793062>is a fucking dragon>complains about itgo polymorph into the wet blanket you are
>>56794594Yeah, but they're still royalty, buttering them up and sucking up to nobles isn't in my skillset.>>56794603The head of one of their enemies could probably work, silvers don't usally have much trouble with dragon slayers. I know a couple good taxidermists. Then again, maybe the PMC I've got going is a good bargaining chip, silvers love adventurers, for some reason.
>>56794641>bone broken from a fucking stickHave you tried not being a kobold with delusions of grandeur?
>>56794842it might be a really big stick
>>56794842First, it was two sticks with a bit of cord holding them together.Second, they were glowing and made fucking thunder noises I swear.Obviously these nuchaku things are ungodly powerful and I want some.I heard mortals have these things called monks that use them so I'm gonna see if I can't threaten them into making a pair me.
>>56794852Yet wielded by a halfling? Look, either Wising has weak as fuck bones or they missed a bigass warning sign.>>56794898The second, then.
>>56794898Or you can just have someone enchant a pair of them to make them grow up to your size.Wear them around like lewelry, some dumbshit comes talking smack, command word, bam! you come at them yelling for water and swinging a pair of pillars around.
>>56794935>>56794898the only weapon you should need is your breath weapon
>>56794922Oh I'm sorry for mistaking the tiefling monk for a hobo with a no concept of ownership.Probably should have stepped back when she started glowing and screaming though, that's never good.>>56794935>you come at them yelling for water and swinging a pair of pillars around.New plan, I'm raiding a nice castle for some good quality pillars and columns.Maybe use the chains on my old dragon shackles to hold them together.
>>56794842>doesnt know that adventurers these days are packing so many goddamn levels they dont even need equipmentFucking faggot wyvern
>>56794898I was going to put levels into monk training to try to power up my claw attacks but my human companion suggested I level "something that doesn't use a pussy stat like wisdom" instead. Apparently monks seem great on paper but they really aren't all that in the end compared to other adventuring classes you can take. I tried learning how to be a psion but the only thing I can manipulate with my mind is the television set. Psionic powers are supposed to be very good.
>>56795199Obviously your companion is full of shit.Fucking halfling cripples me in a half second, I want what she's having.Also cudos on becoming a magical TV remote.
>>56795217You'd want what this guy's having instead if you seen it.>picks up a stick>lunges forward>tears a hole in reality>tears a second one behind a monster>impales the monster from behind, a hundred feet or so awaygatekeepers are goddamn broken, warpblades are even worse.
>>56795287See, I don't fuck with portals or warp shit or nothing like that no more.That's how my beautiful arctic cavern ended as the center piece of a desert.At the very least it attracts mortals looking for ice, but it's a hassle refreezing my collection of adventurers every few weeks.
>>56795340Why not invest in some EverIce? Or if it's that much of a problem, gate:realm your shit back to whence it came?
>dragons think theyre hot shit>get defeated by a teacup snapping his fingers at themlmaohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3gqSf9uDKI
>>56795397I'll be honest, the gold income hear is too good to pass up.Every time a band of merchants comes to carve out some ice, I eat them and take their loot.Everytime some lich needs his undead army to stop falling apart, I let them firm up in my cavern for a modest fortune.EverIce is a good idea though, but I'd rather not leave my lair to grab some.
>>56795468I'd be careful, picking on enough merchants is bound to start attracting some really nasty folks to come by and visit. Just one dragon looking out for another - if you ever hear one of these humans whistling and casually strolling in, its time to go.
>>56795536Duly noted.I'd like to think I'd be able to hide well enough in my lair though, maybe post up on a good sized icicle and get the drop on anybody who'd actually be a threat.Definitely not doing the grand entrance bit again.
Right, I'm back. Had to go pop off an old Lich who was getting uppity. Thought that by putting his phylactery in a volcano he could protect it from me.Never heard of Wish, that guy, I suppose.Have I mentioned how awesome Wish is? It's pretty damn good.>>56795199I may be biased, but I heavily suggest Sorcerer. It stacks well with your natural talents.I'd agree with your companion's view of the Monk class. More flash than function. Though there were a few monks of the unchained order who I worked with once who were much more effective.As you seem more of the bookish type, I might suggest an Arcane Bloodline Wildblood Sorcerer with the Sage type. This will let you channel your raw arcane might through intelligence rather than force of will.I'd also just suggest based on your naivete here you probably shouldn't be looking at Wisdom based classes...>>56794982I don't know what kind of peasants you've been fighting, but while I love being a living incarnation of winter's wrath (I got this surname for a reason), I very rarely have the damn thing work without throwing a Mage's Disjunction out first. At my level, everyone has Immunity: Cold prepared.Though there was one time I pretended to be a Gold Dragon for a few years, and the villains came for me with cold spells and fire immunity prepared. Permanent Image is also a wonderful spell.That was hilarious.
>>56795756Any spells that might stop my ice cavern from becoming a melted desert oasis? Also anything that would fuck with halflings?
>>56795789Sure, for your lair you'll want a permanent 'Control Weather' effect, which can turn the land around into whatever you please. If your lair was extramagically moved with its mountain intact, regardless of the surrounding land it should be a valid target for a lowered temperature and cold weather.I've never bothered getting a permanent effect since Silvers of my age are naturally able to control the weather at will, but it's a good choice.Alternatively you could look at the Terraform spell, but that is forbidden lore which requires the caster to have a spark of divine power.Similarly, there is a modifier for Control Weather which requires the application of raw divine power, but which when used can allow the modification of any terrain regardless of the natural environment.
>>56795888I'm sure one of the frozen champions I have must be some type of divine.I'm gonna see if I can't get a lich to do a transfer on that.You know, you're alright for a silver scale.
>>56795905I do try. While I am a champion of righteousness, I am still a dragon. And a master of the arcane with few equals.To be fair however, Were I in your shoes I'd likely create a set of nested Demiplanes. Have your main lair in the Material, with a gate to your true lair in a personal demiplane which you can shape with your own will.Have your treasure horde in yet another demiplane only accessible from the first. You can nest them several times if needed for more security. Then you have many lairs to fill with traps, minions, and treasure.A few years of casting can get you a very nicely sized abode. Because the traits of the plane can be controlled by your own will, it's an ideal lair.
Check out what my human made for me.
>>56795935See, I've tried the plane nesting idea before but eventually you gotta deal with arcane beings putzing their way in through the residual energies.They always turn my gold into brass and whatnot and it's always a hassle to transmute it back.I do wonder how large of an area I could fit into a demiplane though.It might be worth the effort if I could get a whole mountain in one.>>56795942Tell your human to go back to writing Dragonfable fan-fiction.
>>56795987>dragonfable fan-fiction(what did he mean by this?)
>>56796000>>dragonfable fan-fictionthe flat shading reminded me of a shit-tier rpg that children used to play in the mid 2000's
>>56795987Ah, I once had to research a spell to stop an apocalypse, but had only a day to do so.To solve the issue I nested 10 half time speed demiplanes inside each other, giving me almost 3 years to solve the problem.Since then I've become rather fond of nested demiplanes.
>>56796021Can you imagine what the mortals would do if they could cast like us?I mean besides abusing space and time manipulation for frivolous reasons.Not that we're frivolous for doing so of course, we have much better reasons.
>>56796014holy fuck this looks like adventure quest. i remember that fuckin' piece of shit. but no, not at all what it's supposed to be.besides, where's the art of you?and no grabbing random images from google either, pleb. surely you have loving and adoring followers who shower you with gifts?
>>56796061>besides, where's the art of you?here >>56795573took my minion a while to render my icy exterior right, but he did well enough.Shame he makes a better statue than a painter.
>>56796061>using google>not dracdracgo
>>56793026>is she too old and wise for me?Honestly, if she's into you, I'd count your lucky stars. There's a lot to be said for older and more experienced dragonelles, friend. You'll learn a lot even if you just get a good romp in with her. Get on it!
>>56796079I thought that was something out of dark souls
>>56796104 implying FromSoft would ever make an ice dragon that isn't a pretty little girl
>>56796127that fluffy tail tho
>>56796144If it's not scales, it's garbage son.
>>56796154You're missing the point. Cut off that tail and turn it into a weapon you use to put her down.FREE EXP.
>>56796170She's a half breed abomination, so I can get behind this.Mortals get all the EXP anyways, IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE
>>56796189What's it like being an immortal dragon anyway?I'm a dragon, yet I'm still as mortal as the people I work with. I can bleed, I can be felled, and I'm sure I'm not going to live forever.Is EXP a curse? is that why monsters start off with certain powers, and gain higher thresholds as they get older? They don't gain levels usually, so they are not subject to aging? Does LEVEL make mortals transcend and cast off their mortal bodies into something higher when they finally die?Is it scary to die?
>>56796234Truth be told I don't have the perspective to really describe being immortal.I can say though it's much better than throwing a shit fit over potentially lethal happenings.As for EXP and Levels, as far as I know the only reason mortals get all that is because they go on all these asinine quests and adventures whereas monsters and beasts don't.A man on a mission is a dangerous one it seems.
>>56796234Eh, dying's no great thing.I've died... 27? or so times. Not including deleted timelines.There are many ways to avoid the Twilight, but dragons get a good run compared to most mortals. Death is nothing to fear, as we can clearly see what happens afterwards. I've been to the Mounting Heavens of Celestia both as a petitioner and as a traveller, and it's no great horror to fear at the end of a life well lived.And nothing is truly immortal. Even the gods may die. I've seen it happen.In fact, it's amazing how often the words "No, this cannot be, I am invincible!" are followed immediately by the speaker exploding, imploding, being impaled by a god-killer, or any number of other ironic deaths.>>56796280I've explained my research of EXP above. I myself have six levels of Sorcerer. I've outlined the many benefits and what I understand of the system.
>>56795756few except pure necrotic energy from a breath weapons. its efficient i can kill them and raise them in one blow
>>56794641>Does anybody know a craftsman that makes nunchaku big enough for a dragon?Well, we don't have any nunchaku in our inventory, but we DO have a copy of one Sun Wukong's bowstaff. We'd be willing to give it to you, for a price.
>>56796382Forth Circle Cleric Spell, 'Death Ward, complete immunity to negative energy, level drain, and being reanimated as undead.If they don't have that ready when going to fight a dracolich, they deserve what they get. See previous statement re: Peasants.
>>56796391Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Would you trade that stick for a frost golem and a few slaves?Also would it still work if I cut it in half?
Op here.My brother's birthday happened yesterday.It was good.A harem of royal virgins,15 willing human sacrifices in his honor 15 willing slaves for him a tiny bit of land in my kingdom and an extremely small bit of my hoard were gifted to him by me,a gift which not only imppresed him but led him to compliment me in front of his followers,inflating my ego.We then went out to end some adventures prematurely via burning villages and stealing children to be raised as our disciples in my brand new dragon warrior guild.Wonderful night.Thanks for your suggestions.
Why can't chromatic fucks compete with the metallic master race?
>>56796454look, the only metallic worth a damn is a golden.And that's by virtue of gold being the best color in the spectrum, not just by being lawful stupid and getting in good with the elder gods.
>>56796372>>56796280>dying and coming backWhere I'm from, when you die.. that's it. You're gone. At least, that's what it seems like. Nobody here has ever came back from the dead. Knightbro says it's because we get to "re roll" a new life, but that sounds horrifying losing who we once were to become someone completely different.You're right about the ironic deaths though, thats just hilarious.
>>56796409right, because I leave a sign on my lair that says "warning dracolich". No one really expects undead in an ruined temple as long as its not a temple to a necrotic god. and I can break through those wards with shear force if I have too
>>56796554If you lug around undead minions everywhere, they're probably gonna have a good idea what they're dealing with.
>>56796454I can't stand Golds but >>56796500 is right. And besides, everyone knows all Silvers are just a stuck up White that figured out how to polish their scales.
>>56796554>not being prepared for anything by having protection against literally everything through items, enchants, class abilities, or divine-given powersReality check. Any adventurer worth their salt is going to be ready to counter literally everything you can do, and they're going to smell like rotten cheddar cheese.
>>56796580Can they counter a giant block of ice falling from a 200 feet?
>>56796567I rarely get adventures so the few ones that I raise I will have grown tired of and let die by the time the next set comes moreover I don't undead as guard or minions. I let isolation and lingering diving presence do most of the adventure stoping for me
>>56796500>>56796579>spending your life being a colorhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVVn8vg2ohYIt's like you dragons don't even have control of your own destinies.>>56796599>20d6 physical damageAint shit, most of that goes to temporary damage soak, half gets outright removed from protections, damage resistance absorbs a good 40 points more of it, and because it's a falling object it just gets hit with immediate action slowfall and either evaded or shattered with a single strike and deals no damage.Easy.
>>56796648>moreover I don't undead as guard or minionsWell at least you have some sense about you.I'd rather have living thralls myself, especially since they're so easy to ensnare.Every piss ant village I fly over thinks I'm a deity at some point, thank them for their ignorance.
>>56796658It's not like dragons can't get ludicrous magical items and spells just like the mortals can ya know.I'm pretty sure a few trinkets around my lair can just throw star fragments around for example.
>>56796723You're still only getting one action set per round m8. Adventurers roam in packs, and the more noise you make or the more you brag about how powerful you are, the more likely you're going to have a union of 25 of them show up at your doorstep with White Raven bullshit ready to rock and roll.Which is also why our DM flipped his shit and quit playing for a good year. The Giant in the Playground went to his table and blew him up real good.
>>56796753 If a band of adventurers should be like 7-8 players max. Plus it's not like big bad monsters can't be scaled to party size and whatnot.
>>56796693Don't know why adventurers would bother coming all the way out here anyways. No one prays Io anymore so pilgrimage is out. I haven't bothered any mortals for several of their lifetimes so revenge Is out and I only really horde historical artifacts so treasure hunting seems unlikely as well
>>56796776Was a group of six with two characters each, here. But still, even if you scale enemies up it only gets you so far if you can't add MORE enemies/actions per round. I personally make my big-monster fights get extra initiative rolls depending on what they are, the most fun that our group had was a garalon's blessing draco-titan with four arms that got four initiative rolls, then at the halfway point of the encounter he gained an extra two. I let each initiative roll single out individual characters, and it made them have to work together to pull off the fight.
>>56796783have there been any notable Lich causing trouble in the land in the past century or so?If the answer is yes, you're probably due for another party any day now.Casters and the like always want to chalk up their bullshit to dragons now, it's a real nuisance.
>>56796809 I wish I had a group that could get through that many turns per round and still be quick enough to not be boring
>>56796842We play on roll20 and all of us have macros set up for the majority of our common dice rolls. Any other numbers that might be relevant are easily formulated in excel. It's a real blast to go through combat rounds super fast. When it comes to monster rounds, I can shit out the entire block of actions and result numbers in a few clicks, and the players resolve their saves and hit-checks quickly themselves. There's a degree of trust between all of us, and it feels real good.
>>56792550Unfortunately no minions, unless you count tiny snakes and lizards.>>56793073Ooo I like the sound of quicksand, I'll give that a try. Thanks!
>>56796814No......wait oh dear. I think I'll go check on the traps
>>56796413>Would you trade that stick for a frost golem and a few slaves?That would do. We're not exactly going to do much with it, anyway. >Also would it still work if I cut it in half?It was made with a hair from the Monkey King himself. Of course it will.
>>56796894congrats on the new treasure brother>>56796870 YOU CAN DO FUCKING MACROS ON ROLL20 HOLY SHIT!
>>56796919IT'S A DEAL!His name is Rocket Pop and he likes mineral water.Keep him out of the sun.
>>56796920Not sure if shitposting but yes. There is macro support. Not sure if its available on free users though...
>>56796085Yeah, you are right. I suppose I'm worrying over nothing.I'll whip myself into shape and see if I can't make my moves when I next see her. That Human shouldn't be back for another 3 weeks anyway, so there shouldn't be any risk of interruption.Also the mayor finally kicked it, so I can add him to my collection too. Bet that'll be a sweet showpiece to get her interest up. Wish me luck, fellow draganons.
>>56796983I'm not shitposting, I'm just new to Roll20
>>56796920That sure is a lot of adventurersWell I suppose killing the ocean would have consequences. Time to shift lairs again I suppose
>>56797035If you got undead that need to a bit of freezing to stop them from rotting, I always got room.No rituals for summoning elder being from outside existence though, that shit always brings adventurers.
>>56796500t. Chromatic that's jealous of a good afterlife>>56796579And all reds are just salamanders with wings and a napoleonic complex
>>56797085t. metallic that's jealous of not needing a good afterlifeAgreed on reds though.
>>56797058I have plenty of spare lairs but I appreciate the offer
Choose one and only one:A. Become a dracolichB. Become a vampire dragonC. Become a dragon wightD. Leave your affairs unfinished and your treasure for the takingE. Other (specify)
>>56797112No worries man.I just happen to specialize in storing undead is all seeing as I lord over a giant ice box, so it's a habit of mine to make the offer to anybody I know practicing necromancy.Good luck on the new lair though, hopefully you find a good burial mound or something.
>>56797130>E. master nunchaku and smash halflingsSTILL FUCKING MAD
>>56796971We thank you for the Frost Golem, and we shall try to keep him from melting. We Shall send the staff via Crystal Palace Transport (It was Wukong's idea), as well as some other "surprises"
>>56797145Too cliche, everyone expects undead in those places. I prefer to lair in the ruins of what was not ruin in my youth
>be me>be 500 at the time>eat bear that was attacking old human>I accidentally saved a king of a small nation in the mountains>invites me back to castle to thank me>plan to eat king and claim castle>king throws a feast in my honor>say he would like me to become a knight and marry his daughter>9/10 princess with hots for dragons>king ask me to accompany him to city>got nothing better to do so I go along>tells people he was saved by me and that I am to become the new king once a I marry the princess.>People cheer, something about the rise of the new dragon king.>run with gifts of gold to me>turns out royal family of this nation are descendant of a dragon>first dragon king was a noble warrior of sorts, loved and respected by the people>old king say he could see the proud soul of the first king in me,>feel bad about thinking of betray old king.I know its foolish /dtg/, but I want to live up to the name of the dragon king, Wat do?
>>56797196Just find a good hole in the ground for him an he'll be fiiiiinnne.Might wanna give one of the slaves and ice wand to groom him with if possible as well.And uh, have the delivery guys try and park as close to the cavern mouth as possible.It'll help keep the rabble from fucking the deal up.
>>56797219>I know its foolish /dtg/, but I want to live up to the name of the dragon king, Wat do?How about you live up to name of your race and rule with iron claws like damn dragon.It'd be criminal not to take advantage of such an easy target.Low hanging fruit and all that.
>>56797219Make a just system of laws focused on equity. Let people do whatever they want in their private lives as long as they're not harming anyone else.Oh, and pick some national pestilence and wipe it out every 50 years or so. Last one I did was hobgoblins. Just burned all the fuckers out
>>56797263If you work for the people and keep them happy, guess what you get? A nation-sized lair with a population of defenders. Beats some old cave with a couple dozen kobolds
>>56797316>implying I'd ever let kobolds in my lairand more to the point, if you feel like going the goody two shoes route, by all means go ahead.I hope you like dealing with foreign politicians though, since that's gonna be half your job.The other half being managing an entire country.
>>56797238>And uh, have the delivery guys try and park as close to the cavern mouth as possible.>It'll help keep the rabble from fucking the deal up.Do not worry. The Crystal Palace has some of the best mystic defenses in the entire Multiverse. Helps that we had The King In Yellow spruce it up before we decided to send it out. Anyone who trays anything will find themselves in for a most rude awakening.
>>56797475just make sure you guys make it here in the next decade or so, I have halfling ass to whoop and I'd rather it not be completely one-sided
>>56797355>let Halflings kick his assNo wonder you can't handle foreign dignitaries
>>56796021You wouldn't happen to have a clue regarding my little connundrum here >>56794163, would you, sir?I wish I could cast that kind of magic. Probably would've been able to save my home plane if I did.
>>56797563SHE WAS NOT FUCKING NORMAL!Her hobo rags probably belonged to some deity or her nunchaku were carved from the world tree or some shit.Fucking monk midget broke my leg man...
>>56797602watch out drag, she's gonna get her friends to come back later in the day for your arms
>>56796554It's a standard spell, and Divination magic is a thing. Again, adventurers who don't learn to prepare die well before reaching the CR of a dracolich.Also, as someone who has adventured quite a lot, HA!Ruined temples are like #4 in the 'most likely to have undead 'list of adventuring tropes, behind a Graveyard, Underground, and Forest of Eternal Night. >>56797600Basically just don't act like a red. Give a good tithe of your treasure, try to act as you would towards any other Elder.Silver dragons tend to not stand on ceremony (as you might notice from your mate's response). We support good causes, and we aren't quite as mirthful as a copper, but we do enjoy a good laugh and tend to treat family as a very important part of our lives.You'll find no more loyal mate nor a more steadfast friend than a silver dragon. If they accept you into their family, you will have a group of allies who will stand with you unto death and beyond.What they will be most concerned about is whether or not you make their daughter happy. Do that, make it clear that you can do that, and you should be fine.
>>56797130E. Make a new thread because this one is ending.Also wtf no end-of-the-world scenario here cmon guys.
cool. in the end all the dragons died because they was stupid. the end.
>>56797946Trying to make one, but I have no good opening topic, since mine got answered here >>56797842Any suggestions?
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FOOLISH LIZARDS YOUR TIME DRAWS NEAR
>>56799079We've had our fun. We'll have more fun later, no doubt.
>>56776110Go to a fucking discord server you Scalie virgin fucks