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  • File : 1250986185.jpg-(261 KB, 984x1300, muju-pedosoroitas.jpg)
    261 KB You don't have a choice. Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:09 No.5555597  
    "Guardsman! These sisters have been placed on penitent duty for... weakness in the face of temptation. We sisters pride ourselves on being paragons of faith and purity, and as such penance must be paid. I hereby order you - by Inquisitorial decree - to take these women and rid them of their mind-clouding desires. How you go about doing this, well... I trust the Emperor will guide your descision - whatever it may be. Or involve."
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:11 No.5555611
    Right, sisters, come with me. I hope you enjoy latrine duty.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:11 No.5555618
    o-o-.... ok..
    so, see girls, there is more to life than pleasures of the flesh!
    how about.. i take you to a concert? or, maybe we could play some tabletop games?
    what do you say?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:12 No.5555629
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    easy. hand them over to chaos.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:13 No.5555638
    We go hunting.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:14 No.5555654
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    Concert? GAMES?!

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:16 No.5555661
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    "Why are you entrusting these scandalous wenches under my command? They clearly have no place in the emperors wars. Begone with all of you! Before I get the Commissar!"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:17 No.5555672
    You bastard. Now I'm imagining a penitent sister/maid screaming litanies of faith at a toilet as she frantically tries to unclog it with a plunger.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:18 No.5555685
    guardsman > canoness = wat?
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:18 No.5555686
    Just to be sure you approve, I have here a list of their duties for the next few weeks.

    -Latrine duty
    -More Paperwork
    -Regimental duties
    -Solitary confinement (sleep)
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:20 No.5555710

    Needs moar prayer.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:21 No.5555718
    I'll pencil it in between Latrine duty and the first set of paperwork.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:21 No.5555719
         File1250986874.jpg-(489 KB, 912x1220, 40K-The Emperor.jpg)
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    So be it.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:21 No.5555722
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:21 No.5555726

    The Guardsman is the Canoness' superior because he doesn't have -4 str.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:24 No.5555755

    But the Canoness has... big guns.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:26 No.5555779
    The cannoness is also ordering the guardsman to do this. I'm not sure if you noticed, there wasn't any "PLEASE MR.GUARDSMAN. SAVE THESE TWO RAPTUROUS WOMEN FROM THEMSELVES!"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:27 No.5555789
    "I have big gun
    I stole it from the LOrd"

    Swift with justice, I just wanna burn you!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:27 No.5555791

    Don't let that ceramite power armour fool you. They're not that big.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:29 No.5555802

    The Canoness' has no authority here. She isn't the inquisition, just an extension of the Ecclesiarchy.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:29 No.5555810
    When a higher up in a caste society asks you to do something, you do it.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:30 No.5555816
    With 100 gallon jugs of holy promethum at her disposal...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:31 No.5555829

    The Guardsman takes orders only from his direct superiors. The Officers of the Guard. Besides that, why would the Canoness even bother asking a lowly trooper? Why not ask Colonel Giveafuck over there?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:34 No.5555864
    Do be fooled fellow guardsman, this "cannoness" has ape arms that reach past her knees. Burn the mutant!

    Also, lolpedobear kneepads.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:34 No.5555870
    Your assuming that the Cannoness doesn't know the guardsman in question, or hasn't already informed his superiors. If she was looking for a unique punishment, say, dropping a pair of nobles that had come into her covent off with a bunch of commoners to be bossed around at. Wouldn't you say she would also go through to steps of making sure everyone knew what was going on?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:36 No.5555909

    The Adeptus Sororitas aren't exactly known for being rational.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:37 No.5555918
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:38 No.5555940
    Seriously, /tg/... Any answer that isn't "punish them for real" or "punish them sexually" is DOING IT WRONG.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:40 No.5555964
    You are amazing and I love you. Were I an attractive female I would suck your penis. Maybe.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:41 No.5555974
    As planned.
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 08/22/09(Sat)20:42 No.5555996
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    Did somebody say Commissar?

    Coz' I just got my hat yesterday.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:42 No.5555999
    The sister's next duties will be to make the beds for the Guardsmans cots.
    >> Stranger 08/22/09(Sat)20:44 No.5556034
    You'd suck off some douche who beat you, and you know it.

    Well done. Had a SoB army, that would be a tempting conversion.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:45 No.5556047
    OH! Make a comic where she uses a faith miracle Hand of the Emperor to give her super strength but she causes the toilet to explode under the force of her thrust! And then her superior comes in and scolds her!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:46 No.5556061
    I like the idea of a bunch of power armored battle maids.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:48 No.5556082
    They don't root out heresy. Only toilets. FOR THE EMPEROR!
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)20:48 No.5556088
    I should really stop posting.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:49 No.5556091
    Bumpan this thread for the new direction it's going.
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 08/22/09(Sat)20:51 No.5556131

    Seriously? This is the best you could come up with?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)20:59 No.5556241
    The Sisters of Cleaning.

    A canoness sends some repentia to be "taken care of" by some guardsmen to get all their sexual frustrations behind them so they could concentrate on their duties. But instead of getting sex the guardsmen actually put them to work doing all the menial jobs around the barracks. The canoness decides this is a perfect opportunity for the sisters to root out heresy, and tells them to stay stationed there until they find some. But the guardsmen in question are so oblivious to the concept of heresy that they tune the snooping sisters right out. And here they remain; stationed in the middle of nowhere, sexually ignored, making sandwiches with their -4 str, and rooting out toilets instead of heresy. For the Emperor...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:03 No.5556281
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:03 No.5556286
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:04 No.5556305
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:10 No.5556361
    Nice work, drawfag!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:13 No.5556387
    I love you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:16 No.5556417
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:43 No.5556717
    Sister: "Sooo... heard any rumors about monsters lately?"
    Guard: "No."
    Sister: "Nothing? Well maybe your buddies said something about the Emperor? Something, y'know, blasphemous?"
    Guard: "Nope."
    Sister: "You sure?! Because you can tell me! Haha! Haaa..."
    Guard: Can you make me a sandwich?"
    Sister: "..."

    *Sister bends over to pick up some bullet casings*
    Guard 1: Yeeeeah! I'd like to squeeze my hands around that!"
    *still bent over the sister gasps*
    Guard 2: "You said it! My ammo belt'd wrap around that so hard..."
    *the sister blushes*
    Guard 3: "I'd haul that baby to the top of our rhino and mount it right there!"
    *the sister is now wet with anticipation*
    Sister: "Well if you want it so ba-"
    *she sees them looking at an ammo requisition form for a storm bolter and dedjectedly starts crying to herself*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:45 No.5556730
    I lold on that one.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:48 No.5556758
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:49 No.5556769
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:55 No.5556820
    Aww, poor Sister of Cleaning. :<
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:57 No.5556850
    i for one vote for the archive of this epic thread
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:58 No.5556855
    It's like a reverse harem hentai.
    >> Subprocessor 616 08/22/09(Sat)21:58 No.5556858
    Already archived.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)21:59 No.5556871

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:02 No.5556897
    How many sisters of cleaning are there? What planet are they stationed on? What guard unit would be so frigid as to completely mistake free sex slaves for maids?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:03 No.5556913
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:04 No.5556924
    It's a tank.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:06 No.5556948
    Asdrubael Vect's Pimpmo-Ravager can use some more slavegirls...it never has too many.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:08 No.5556972
    Guardsmen use Chimeras. SPESS MEHRENS use Rhinos.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)22:12 No.5556996
    They occasionally let us requisition one if needed.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:13 No.5557011
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    Do you have any evidence of this, guardsman?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:14 No.5557021
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    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)22:15 No.5557029
    Ever wonder what it's like to pick up sisters in a landraider?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:16 No.5557040
    Sister: "But, Canoness! T-these men aren't heretics! They're just... just... STUPID BRUTISH APES who are so preoccupied with guns and sandwiches that they wouldn't know a heretic if it walked up to them and spake of the Black Library!"
    Canoness: "That's ENOUGH!"
    Sister: "B-but..."
    Canoness: "No buts! You and your sisters are there as punishment. No matter how stiff your punishment seems, or how hard it gets, you are to see it through to the climax. Is that understood?!"
    *the sister nods forelornly*
    Canoness: "Over and out."
    *a guard comes in and unbuckles his pants*
    Guard: I'm glad I found you, sister. I have something for you.
    *sister's eyes widen*
    Guard: My fatigues are torn. Can you stitch them up for me? Thanks."
    *sister twitches as she barely keeps from unholstering her bolter*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:17 No.5557055
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    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 08/22/09(Sat)22:18 No.5557062
    You are all horrid monsters

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:20 No.5557078
    Ask Grandpa Dreadnought
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:23 No.5557116

    apparently love doesn't always bloom on the battlefield... T_T
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:25 No.5557149
    Guard: Hey sister, could you please... grab my wiener?
    Sister: *blushing* Oh my! What a thing to ask of a sister! But, if you asked so politely, I have no choice but to accept...
    Guard: Thanks, it's in the fridge in the kitchen. I wrote my name on it.
    Sister: ...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:26 No.5557157
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:27 No.5557164
    fukkin lol'd
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:28 No.5557178
    So wait, did Macha disguise herself as a Sister of Battle and hope to be punished?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:30 No.5557196

    Now THIS is the /tg/ I love! Bump for epic!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:31 No.5557209

    Dat ass
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:33 No.5557233
    What is the name of this horribly oblivious regiment?
    >> Stranger 08/22/09(Sat)22:34 No.5557251
    This stuff right here... this is why I keep coming to /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:35 No.5557253
    the extremely nearsighted guard.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:36 No.5557267
    *two guards stand a small distance from a sister*
    Guard 1: Man, look at her legs, I'd love to drill her.
    *sisters ears perk up, pretends she didn't hear it*
    Guard 2: Oh yeah, I can see that. And look at her chest. I bet she's a real screamer. You could probobly hear her from across the barracks when she gets going.
    *Oh my goodness! Talking about such things in the open, they must be heretics! Now's my chance to get off this rock, and maybe get a little action on the way...*
    Guard 1: It would be a lot more fun than drilling the other guards, that's for sure.
    *The other guardsmen? No wonder they're so cold to us girls! Oh the Canoness is going to love this!*
    Guard 2: Yeah, anything would be an improvement over that.
    *Sister walks up to the two guards*
    Sister: Hello boys, are you two talking about me? Remember I'm on order to do whatever you say, no matter what you ask me to do...
    Guard 1: We don't want to force you sister, but... if you're willing, how would you feel about... joining the local Drill Team? We need another singer, and from what I've heard you chant while you clean those toilets I think you're just what we need!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:36 No.5557268
    this is going to end like that Russian robbery inst it?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:37 No.5557280
    Did anyone else but me see the chain strap-on in the OP's picture that the armored Sister is wearing?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:38 No.5557292
    Maybe they're a regiment from a shrine world or something with a conspicuous SoB presence. The constant burnings and screams of flayed heretics would kill any fantasies the Guardsmen may have had from early on.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:38 No.5557294
    I imagine a Sister of Cleaning waiting by the head before showertime as all the Guardsmen run in. She expects to see every variety of genitalia permissable in the Imperium but they all toss a pile of filthy fatigues on her before she can see a damn thing. by the time she digs her way out of the pile, the door to the showers shuts in her face. The guards then come out and throw their towels at her in much the same way as before and they're nearly fully dressed by the time she gets out of that pile.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:39 No.5557301
    It's a bit of a stretch- but bigods, i can't stop laughing.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:39 No.5557310

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:40 No.5557312
    *2 sisters of cleaning are trying to flirt with a guard on his smoke break*
    Sister 1: "Hey, did you hear that in some platoons some of the female recruits get raped?" (wink)
    Sister 2: Ooooh noooo! That sounds terrible!"
    Guard: "..."
    Sister 1: "Y-yeah. I, uh, hear that they have all their clothes torn off and they get pushed to the ground!"
    Sister 2: "That would be aweeeeeful! I, uh, sure hope that doesn't happen to us!"
    Guard: "Yeah, let's hope not."
    Sisters: "Eh?!"
    Guard: Your clothes gettin' on the ground and all. It would just make more work for you to clean them up."
    Sisters: "..."
    Guard: "Oh, right. The latrine is backed up again. You guys know what to do."
    *the guard tosses his cigarette to the ground and walks off leaving the sisters staring into space blankly*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:40 No.5557314
    Oblivitus Eunuchitus
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:41 No.5557323
    Oh shit. I play Guard with allied SoBs. Im going to think of this shit every time I play because of you, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:42 No.5557339

    Or the constant exposure to anomalous terrains of various worlds has completely squashed their sex drive.
    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 08/22/09(Sat)22:43 No.5557354
    it appears every guardsmen here is as oblivious as the typically male lead from a harem animu

    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)22:43 No.5557356
    I hate those guys. Their a gearhead auxillary division. I can't help but think that they've been around those creepy techpriests waaay too long.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:43 No.5557359
    *Sister grumbeling as she works on her hands and knees behind a low wall weeding some plants*

    Guard 1-Really? you are going to nail her good?
    Guard 2-Of course. Look at this wood. How can I not help but want to nail her hard?

    *Sisters ears perk up and she starts to breath faster and slowly looks over the wall "How can I help you guardsmen!" (maybe said with a bit to much excitment)

    sees the 2 guardsmen standing there with a hammer and nails getting ready to fix a broken fence. Face twitches some.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:44 No.5557370
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    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)22:44 No.5557371
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:45 No.5557377
    "...Okay, I know this might be a little weird, coming from me, but honestly- why are you ladies so angry?"

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:45 No.5557387
    Fools, the Guardsmen aren't oblivious, the just have Chained up Xeno's given to them by inquisitors to "Study" for the purposes of "research." And you know that old adage, once you go Xeno you don't go back.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:46 No.5557388
    oh, ill bet shes just FILTHY
    yes, yes, and seeing as she hasnt done it in quite a while, i bet shed finish up, right quick, they dont half get eager ater they havnt done it for a while, and we both know that.
    what are you two boys talking about?
    why, you of course! cleaning up the shells from under there would of got you filthy! time for your prayers now anyway.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:49 No.5557421

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:50 No.5557434
    The SoB have become so stressed they are telling Kharn, who they are now allied to, to shut up and fight harder.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:51 No.5557443
    "Boys, boys, as much as its fun to tease, I believe you are getting into cruel and unusual punishment territory. Good job, keep going."
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:53 No.5557452

    Oh god I lold. Oblivious to the Guardsmens' obliviousness?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:54 No.5557460
    *guard gets sister alone in corner*
    Guard: Hey sister I know this isn't standard protocol, and it might get me in trouble but... you just seem like somebody I can trust.
    Sister: Of course you can trust me. I'd never tell anybody anything you told me... or did to m-
    Guard: I just can't hold it in any more. Sister... do you want to see my cock?
    *sisters heart is beating hard, she starts getting wet with excitement*
    Sister: Ye... yes. I'd love to see it. C-can I touch it too?
    Guard: Oh, you can stay up all night petting it if you want. We can't do it here though. Follow me to my room.
    *Sister follows him, literally shaking with excitement, tears of joy forming in her eyes*
    *Guard opens room and walks to a small cube of metal mesh in the corner of the room and removes a chicken from it*
    Guard: His name is Sargent Clucky! I raised him all the way up from an egg I got from a local farm! Isn't he precious? Go on, pet him!
    Sister: *twitch*

    The next day the guard was executed for keeping a live chicken in his room. The commissar found out through an anonymous tip.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:54 No.5557462
    *Two SoCs are seductively washing a vehicle in skimpy, white clothing*
    SoC1: Oh, I sure hope all this water doesn't... Oh, darn. My favorite white robes are all wet and cold *rubs breasts as they become visible through the cloth*
    SoC2: The same happened to me as I was extending and thrusting against this window to get it clean.
    *A Guardsman stop dead in his tracks and the cigarette falls from his mouth.*
    Guard: Sweet Emperor!
    SoC1: Oh, Guardsman! Can we get a change of clothes from you?
    Guard: I'd say so. Here's a couple of Hazmat suits to put on over your clothes. We took this badboy to war with the Orks and the wheels still have some spore one 'em. You inhale that shit and I'll have to blow you two away right here and now... As you were ladies.
    SoCs: *_*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:56 No.5557477
    well you can't have cockfights on base
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:57 No.5557481
    But keeping a dead chicken in one's room is acceptable?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:58 No.5557487
    Nooo, Sergeant Clucky! D:
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:58 No.5557495
    its like a 40k "carry on" film
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)22:59 No.5557500
    Demand more backstory on Sgt. Clucky
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:00 No.5557505
    *2 sisters are sitting in their dorm, one of them crying in the other's lap*
    Sister 1: "I don't know hom much more I can take! UUuuuah!"
    Sister 2: "We must be strong! For the Emperor, remember?"
    Sister 1: "B-but I feel like I'm going to burst inside! I need to feel someone's touch..."
    Sister 2: "...Don't cry. Come here."
    *the sisters stare at each other for a moment and lean in for a tender kiss when they are startled by a knock on the door*
    Guard: "Hey, hey, hey! Ladies! I need to borrow one of you for the evening? Which one'a ya it gonna be?"
    *the sisters look excited and sister 2 urges her sster to go with him. hours pass when sister 2 returns bruised, sweaty, and with torn clothing*
    Sister 1: "Oh! By the Emperor, what happened to you?!"
    Sister 2: "...the guards needed an extra pair of hands to help them replace the engine in the land raider with a new one."
    Sister 1: "Uhh. Hm. You still wannaaa...?"
    Sister 2: "No." (glaring)
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/22/09(Sat)23:00 No.5557509
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    Did you notice a sign in the front of my house that says "Dead Chicken Storage?"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:00 No.5557513
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    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/22/09(Sat)23:01 No.5557514
    Lets see.

    The only response /tg/ gave is to send them to clean toilets instead of taking the opportunity to fill them with semen, oblivious to the free sex slaves.

    So I'd say a regiment full of gay RPG nerds.
    >> Guardsman Nil 08/22/09(Sat)23:01 No.5557515
    How nice of them. There cleaning my Chimera. Could you get to my Basilisk too? It's been filthy since that last fire mission.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:04 No.5557536
    I love you, /tg/, and I love your reverse innuendo.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557549
    This is greatness
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557550
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    Setting: an Ecclesiarchy chapel on some ship somewhere in the Imperial Navy

    Priest: That will be all for today, my children. Go in the peace and love of our most blessed Emperor.
    <The congregation shuffles out, save for one Sister of Battle in fervent prayer in the front pew.>
    Priest: <sits next to the Sister quietly, a mischievous look in his eyes> Good evening, Sister Matella.
    Sister: <awakes from prayerful trance> G-good evening, father. Is there something you need?
    Priest: ...Well, as a matter of fact, Sister, there *is* something I desire from you. Something... special.
    Sister: <blushes, curious> F-father?
    Priest: <inches closer, passionately> Because, at the end of the day, all Emperor-fearing men of the Imperium- be they a humble Guardsman, a cleric, or a perfectly average layperson- needs a little something to keep them fighting the good fight. Something only a very special woman can provide.
    Sister: <excited> Oh, Father! How could you *ever* talk of such things... a man of the cloth, in his very chapel! Well, I suppose there's no use fighting it, you've got me cornered... <starts to disrobe>
    Priest: Whatever are you talking about? The priest's home needs a cook to fill in this week, our food servitor broke down last Tuesday and the replacement hasn't arrived yet...
    Sister: <sighs> Yes, Father.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557551

    "Sir, Slaanesh just started crying."

    "Just as planned."
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557552
    Contrary to public Opnion the Sisters of Battle can in fact have Sex. Mentions it in a Ciaphis Cain book by a Inquistor Amberly Vail who has no idea where the thought of all SoB's take a vow of Chastity.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557554
    This thread is fucking amazing. The long summer nears it's end?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:05 No.5557557
    Guard 1: So you going to get her to rub your helmet?
    *Sister suddenly grows attentive and stops what she's doing*
    Guard 2: Oh yes. I'll bet she gets is all nice and wet.
    *A smile grows on the Sister's face*
    Guard 1: You sure she'll be able to do it all? I've seen your helmet, and it's rather big.
    *Sister walks up to guards, grinning*
    Sister: Hello boys! Anything you want me to DO?
    Guard 2: Yeah, my helmet's got all this gore on it. Be a dear and clean it, will you?
    *Guard passes helmet to sister and walks away oblivious*
    *Sister's face is twitching and she's holding the helmet so tightly it cracks slightly*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:06 No.5557561
    In Cain's Last Stand, a SoB Cannoness is off screwing some administratum guy on the side. Cain finds this amusing.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/22/09(Sat)23:07 No.5557563
         File1250996821.png-(29 KB, 500x500, happy face trollin' time.png)
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    It comes from a Dark Heresy book. Amberly must not play RPGs much.
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 08/22/09(Sat)23:08 No.5557574
         File1250996916.png-(14 KB, 268x347, Clan.png)
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    This thread makes me shed manly tears of pure and undiluted rage.
    >> Sister Void 08/22/09(Sat)23:08 No.5557576
    Okay, this one got me.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:08 No.5557578
    Someone give these poor girls some loving? Seriously...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:11 No.5557593
    *sister is folding laundry*
    a guardsmen approaches
    Guard: I need you in my bunk, I have some "hard" work for you
    *sister grumbles*
    Sister: I will change you bedding later, I am swamped
    Guard: that's...
    *sister cuts him off*
    Later in the day she finally makes it to his quarters, she notices the sheets are perfectly clean
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:11 No.5557595

    LOL..new sig
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:11 No.5557596
    quite obviously, no.
    look at this.
    look, LOOK!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:11 No.5557598
    What, why?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:12 No.5557603
    Guard: Oh, Sister. Would you mind helping me with something?
    SoC: Is there another leaky faucet or something?
    Guard: No. Nothing like that. I need to to stand here and remove all of your clothing.
    SoC: What?! Really?! *the sister exclaims with excited disbelief*
    Guard: Yeah, I need you for a painting.
    SoC: What kind? Is it for "private" use when you're alone?
    Guard: Actually, me and a bunch of guys need this done.
    SoC: Oooooo... *the sister, undressed, stands provocatively*
    Guard: Hmmmmm... Could you hunch yourself over and open your mouth in a menacing way?
    SoC: Huh? What kind of sexy portrait is this anyway?
    Guard: Oh, I just needed a picture of a vile deamon-spawn for firing practice and I figured you'd make a good reference model.
    SoC: *storms off growling under her breath* Call me when you have a leaky faucet.
    Guard: But... target practice... Oh well, maybe I'll ask the other one.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:13 No.5557610
         File1250997211.jpg-(98 KB, 460x602, imperialcock.jpg)
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    never forget...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:14 No.5557615
    Isn't that kind of pushing it for the limits of these guardsmen?
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 08/22/09(Sat)23:14 No.5557617

    Take a wild guess.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:14 No.5557621
    It was payday and a group of guardsmen decided to go town to a nearby town to spend some money. The sisters had something about "wanting to come so badly" and wanting the guardsmen to help them come, but they had to leave them behind. (If they didn't, who would scrub the toilets?) Most of the men ran straight for the weapon shops and armor depots, but one soldier had something else on his mind. He wants a companion, somebody who he could raise and teach to love the emperor, but still keep hidden from the prying eyes of the command. So he went to a local market and bought the finest egg he could, because eating raw eggs helped him think. To his great surprise the egg did not taste at all like a normal egg. It tasted much too feathery, and it moved around too much. When he spat it out he discovered it was a live chicken! And, to spite his oral ordeal he was completely unharmed. This must be fate, he thought. And fate was the will of the emperor. Like it or not, this chick was now part of the Imperial Guard. "Welcome aboard, soldier. I like you, but you're going to have to start from the bottom like everybody else. Maybe some day you'll work yourself up the rank, but for now you're... Private Clucky.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:14 No.5557622
    yeah. I say that that last one is non-canon
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:16 No.5557637

    Not gonna happen.A: Rule of Funny, B:Its Cathartic for some of the Fa/tg/uys who, try as they might, just haven't gotten the girl yet.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:16 No.5557638
    This is now cannon.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/22/09(Sat)23:16 No.5557639
         File1250997385.jpg-(18 KB, 350x450, Ahmadinejad Oh Yea.jpg)
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    Private Clucky...Hero of the Imperium.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:18 No.5557657
         File1250997536.jpg-(59 KB, 695x418, 1244472358087.jpg)
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    We heard someone needed fire support?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:19 No.5557659
    A Sister is fueling up a new Hellhound in very light skimpy clothing

    Guard 1: "Oh, look at that baby"
    The sister perks up and listens more intently
    Guard 2: "Oh yeah, I'd love to mount her. Feel her purring beneath me."
    The sister stops cleaning and gets a feeling of anticipation
    Guard 1: "Oh Emperor, yes. Imagine what its like filling her with liquid."
    The sister touches herself and feels she's wet
    Guard 2: "Oh, but that's nothing compared to what it would be like when she spits HER 'holy liquid', if you know what I mean."
    At this point, the sister turns around, her face completely red, and her hand over her crotch.
    Guard officer: "Wanna take her for a wild ride, boys?"
    The Sister gets a face filled with excitement and glee.
    "Oh, I-I guess I hav-"

    She's cut off as the Guardsmen, along with the officer rush to the hellhound and enter it, driving off.

    The sister is left in a puddle of tears and natural lubricant.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:19 No.5557665
    Clucky stared into the expanding ruby pool of blood. The blood was his fathers. The man with the silly hat had shot him. Rage filled Clucky's eyes, one day, he would have his revenge.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:20 No.5557669
    I wouldn't say so. He still doesn't think of her in a sexual way.
    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/22/09(Sat)23:21 No.5557676
    I don't get it.

    Why is inhaling Ork spores grounds for being shot instantly?

    Wouldn't that mean that anyone that was ever involved in any kind of Ork find would have to be shot before the battle is actually done.. as there would be no way to prevent that sort of thing?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:21 No.5557679
    that one made me laugh

    christ sir, thats a big one,
    i know, i cant wait for one of those sisters to come and help me slam it home into a nicely greased up chamber, so i can really let it blow, ripping this one out is going to feel tremendous!
    *sister stands upright and starts to walk over, licking her lips and trying to put on a provocative pose*
    may i be the one to help you here, boys?
    why certainly, you seem strong enough, bend over will you?
    ooh.. here?
    no, a bit to the right sister, the earthshaker rounds are in the black crate.

    there is so much you could do with earthshaker rounds.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:21 No.5557682
    That's definitely non-canon, bro. The SoC can get down to brassiere and undies, but naked is just too far.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/22/09(Sat)23:21 No.5557684

    >anyone that was ever involved in any kind of Ork find would have to be shot before the battle is actually done

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:23 No.5557697

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:23 No.5557699
    The 22nd "Double Entendre" Regiment.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:24 No.5557706
    It'd only be worse if they came back, she got all hopeful only for them to ask directions.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:25 No.5557711

    I bet he defeated a vile Xenos earthworm...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:25 No.5557717
    someone needs to do one about a guardsmen mentionin he needs to "service that fine chick"
    meaning clucky needs feeding
    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/22/09(Sat)23:26 No.5557722
    That doesn't say why inhaling ork spores is bad..

    And I don't think a guardsman would be shot for just keeping a chicken in his barraks.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/22/09(Sat)23:27 No.5557742

    Keeping a chicken in a Lightning is a class-A offense.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:28 No.5557747
         File1250998106.jpg-(14 KB, 378x353, commissar live action.jpg)
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    >And I don't think a guardsman would be shot for just keeping a chicken in his barraks.

    Clearly, then, you're not familiar with WH40k.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:28 No.5557748
    ITT we realise Fuuka knows nothing of 40k
    guardsman thinks of thinking out of line, and a speck of dust possibly catches wind of him doing that, which then landsof a commisars hat
    means an exteriminatus on the planet
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:28 No.5557754
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    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)23:29 No.5557762
    ITT: 40k jokes become 40k cannon.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)23:30 No.5557769
    Oh wow.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/22/09(Sat)23:32 No.5557787

    Explanation: http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Barrak

    Not a very good joke, but I'm not known for comedy. I doubt I'm known at all.
    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/22/09(Sat)23:33 No.5557795

    It isn't THAT strict, dammit.

    Stop messing with my head! I'm easily tricked and generally all around gullible!
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)23:34 No.5557806
    Your also a trap.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:35 No.5557812
    positive traits in a cumdumpster
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:36 No.5557820

    Yea. When jokes involve obscure hebrew translations, your look for a pretty unique audience.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:36 No.5557826
         File1250998601.png-(11 KB, 453x479, 1250752212583.png)
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    you mean this?
    it was an epic earth shaking battle indeed
    i think i was the only one to witness it and survive
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:36 No.5557828
    It had been a months since Private Clucky had been drafted, and he was excelling in his studies. The guard spent all his spare time teaching him, and he could se it was starting to pay off. The time he didn't spend pecking at the heretic face that activated the food dispenser he spent on the obstacle course (consisting of a bowl of water, a bowl of food, and a bunch of sawdust) training for the day, the guard was sure, he would be able to fight heretics. Little did either of them know that day was today. Too late did the guard notice the horrible monster slip into Cluckys cage. A vile monster with 6 flailing limbs, a bulging body, countless eyes, and horrible mandibles. This was the most horrifying heretic the Guard had ever seen. He was frozen with the terror. But Cluckys training had prepared him well. In one swift action Private Clucky devoured the ant whole. "You... you saved my life! That was amazing Private Clucky! Private... that name isn't enough. No mere private could do what you just did. I'm moving you up a rank. No, two! for your historic bravery. I am in your debt, Corporal Clucky! "
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:37 No.5557829
    did you know that if you say orange backwards it almost sounds like gullible?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:37 No.5557830
    Lots of weirdos here...
    Drink Coca-Cola!
    http://www.AnønTalk.com/ICARE - Do you care? You should.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:39 No.5557848
    Fuuka, I love you. Will you be my waifu? ;_;
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/22/09(Sat)23:39 No.5557851
         File1250998772.jpg-(65 KB, 387x595, Ahmadinejad Salute.jpg)
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    We should all aspire to the greatness that is Clucky.
    >> Guardsman Alexandros 08/22/09(Sat)23:39 No.5557853

    You never cease to amaze me.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:40 No.5557856
    If it is female I call dibs
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:41 No.5557870
    Guard: "Ahem. Excuse me... sister?"
    Sister: "Sigh. Yes?"
    Guard: "I know."
    Sister: "You know what?"
    Guard: "You know; why you were stationed here."
    Sister: "...!?"
    Guard: "The, ah, REAL reason..."
    *she blushes bright red*
    Guard: "I'm just a guardsman. One in billions. I have no right to be asking a sister..."
    *her heart beating heavilly, the sister asks him what*
    Guard: "I... I want to *be* with you."
    Sister: "!!!"
    Guard: "B-but if you, I mean if you don't want me t-"
    *the sister grabs him and kisses him passionately. just as the guard embraces her the commissar rounds the corner*
    Com: PRIVATE! How dare you sully a daughter of the Emperor?! HERETIC!!!"
    Sister: "No, wait! You do-"
    *BLAM! the guardsman is shot dead and buried without honor. the sister, appearing emotionally scarred by the event, is given an extra hour for lunch break*
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:42 No.5557878

    Another logical contribution from the spambots!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:42 No.5557880
    Clucky writefag here. I am disappoint that I missed the evil ant art and such. There's still the promotion from Corporal to Srj to go, though.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:44 No.5557894

    I-Im about to cry.

    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:45 No.5557899
    Maybe too grim?, in my opinion If she is close to getting laid it should be derailed by sitcom like wacky hi jinks and misunderstandings
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:45 No.5557904
    Because it's heresy.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:45 No.5557905
    The drawfag who drew the first Sister of Cleaning really set the springboard for the whole thread. Along with Guardsman Ted. Kudos to you both.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:46 No.5557908
    Dear god, this thread needs to be saved
    >> Cultist poorly disguised as a Guardsman 08/22/09(Sat)23:47 No.5557917
    Guardsman Ted is my hero. I want to be just like him when I'm older.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/22/09(Sat)23:48 No.5557931

    Teddie caused this? I guess I'll have to lower the annoying Steam messages I send him; 7 to 6. I'm going all the way!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:48 No.5557936
    Hmmm. I sense a Commissar who'd be lucky to be fill up a freezer bag on his trip home.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:49 No.5557946
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    >too grim
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:49 No.5557949
    "Early bird catches the xenos!" as it would seem.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:55 No.5557996
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    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/22/09(Sat)23:56 No.5558016
    This one is just plain stupid...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:57 No.5558033
    Private Dan: Excuse me, sister.
    Sister: *rolls eyes* Yes.
    Private Dan:*nervously* I have a favor to ask of you. It's not exactly within the scope of your duties and, well, it's kinda personal so if you don't want to, I mean I'd like for you to but ...
    Sister: *attentively* I see*leaning in closer* just let me know how I can help.
    Private Dan:*excited*Really! That's great. My mom always wanted me lo learn High Gothic! Can we start tonight?
    Sister: *mumbles uniteligably*

    The next day Private Dan was flogged and force to preform his drills in irons for the next month after cheerfully calling his Sergeant "a son of an Ogryn" in high gothic.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/09(Sat)23:58 No.5558049
    Honestly, I doubt his sgt. can speak high gothic either.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/22/09(Sat)23:59 No.5558061
    No, but the Hive worlder recruit giggled and was grilled untill he fessed up.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:01 No.5558078
    I doubt *he* could speak it either. This works better if he's talking to a marshal or something. High Gothic is the language of the elite, the movers and shakers of the Imperium.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/23/09(Sun)00:03 No.5558100
    You doubt that a hive worlder, who would be closest to those noble types, would learn how to say at least an insult in high gothic?
    Son. America speaks american. but every school child will learn at least how to say "Fuck you" in three different languages.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:06 No.5558129
         File1251000368.jpg-(870 KB, 2172x2868, 1224625050246.jpg)
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    Honestly, I am surprised that this went this long without this picture.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/23/09(Sun)00:06 No.5558131

    My old school's guilty.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:07 No.5558151
    What do YOU know?!

    You... you have fat thighs!
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:07 No.5558154
    OP pic

    the knee pad

    it is pedobear
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:08 No.5558159
    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/23/09(Sun)00:11 No.5558198
    I'm curious.

    Is Gothic just the 40k term for English? Or is it supposed to be an actual different language?
    >> Guardsman Nil 08/23/09(Sun)00:11 No.5558210
    It's an old one. I personally love the "stat me" paddle.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:12 No.5558211
    i think its more like latin
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:12 No.5558213
    Codex: Sisters of Cleaning - Maids of the Imperium.
    >> Fuuka ♥ 08/23/09(Sun)00:13 No.5558225
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    >> Guardsman Ted 08/23/09(Sun)00:13 No.5558228
    Yes, it's an actual 40k language. There is High Gothic, which is used by people of intellect and power, as well as the priests and high arbites. Then there is low Gothic. Which is the tongue of merchants, and commoners. I forget what the third, and most common one is, I think it's just common.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:14 No.5558241

    High Gothic is like latin to modern English
    Low Gothic is like simple latin to modern English
    Common is like modern English.
    None of them actually are modern English.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/23/09(Sun)00:14 No.5558243

    High Gothic is Latin, Low Gothic is English, and then there's High Formal, which is Ye Olde English. That's all I know.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:17 No.5558266
    High Gothic is Latin. I assume Low Gothic is English, but I got nothin to support that.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:18 No.5558291
    High Gothic is Spanish.
    Low Gothic is English.
    And the forces of Chaos speak Tagalog.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:18 No.5558300
    This thread makes me feel dead inside. And still I'm laughing.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/23/09(Sun)00:19 No.5558304
    You've changed man.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:20 No.5558315
    You know, you guys have considered making me write some organism denial porn, because that's about the best place to go from here.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:22 No.5558338
    so great
    >> Da painboss !BOSSbxVcHc 08/23/09(Sun)00:23 No.5558344
    Den der is what da Boyz yu'z, On par wif Low Gothik i'd say
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/23/09(Sun)00:24 No.5558351

    Everyone changes, Teddie, even you have. I remember your first days here.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:24 No.5558358
    >>5558315 organism denial porn

    No, you organism, you cannot come in here!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:25 No.5558365

    Can you guys find a closet or something? Some of us are trying to troll here.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:25 No.5558368
    but this is our house
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:26 No.5558374

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:26 No.5558380
         File1251001591.jpg-(44 KB, 595x325, wikus.jpg)
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    Not anymore.

    You signed the paper.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:27 No.5558389
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/23/09(Sun)00:27 No.5558391

    I was just posting to put my trip back on memory; I always think I'll forget to change it back.
    >> Spice Marine 08/23/09(Sun)00:28 No.5558418
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:29 No.5558429
         File1251001775.jpg-(44 KB, 642x346, district 9 power armor.jpg)
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    The fuck you say, human?
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:30 No.5558433
    High Gothic is Supergerman.
    Low Gothic is Shitgerman.
    Common is Slavic.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:32 No.5558458
         File1251001971.jpg-(16 KB, 525x295, wikus 2.jpg)
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    You heard me, boyo.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:34 No.5558474
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    I couldn't understand you through your faggot accent, sweetie man. I may speak a click-language, but at least I speak it correctly.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:35 No.5558482
    OP's pic has too much going on in it. Artist fucking sucks.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:36 No.5558490
         File1251002171.jpg-(34 KB, 449x390, cat food.jpg)
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    Okay we do it other way.

    Want cat food? If you leave, you get cat food! You love cat food!
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:36 No.5558495

    It's all just an attempt to clump every single /tg/ meme that has ever had to do with SoBs into one image.

    Of course it's fucking busy.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:37 No.5558511
    when people read this back in the archive, they are going to be like
    "jesus, this thread was awesome, and then all of a sudden near the end, they started being faggots, what the hell /tg/?"
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:38 No.5558520
    >I lack the biological RAM to blink and breathe at the same time.
    >> Guardsman Ted 08/23/09(Sun)00:38 No.5558527
         File1251002323.jpg-(37 KB, 525x465, attenb.jpg)
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    Now, heres an example of a good troll. When he encounters a group of anon who are not playing into his cards, he will instinctively drop a meme, which in fact, attracts other trolls, thus efficiently neutralizing the threads potential for success. Now, watch, as they start to breed. Fascinating.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:39 No.5558538
    Target practice.

    Come, girls.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:40 No.5558541
    So ur with ur battl sistur and yur making out wen the vox rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my penitint?" U tell ur girl n she say "my canunus is ded". THEN WHO WAS VOX?
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:40 No.5558544
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    I have a mech suit and I can rip your arms off in a fit of pique. How about I TAKE the cat food AND stay, sweetie man?
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 08/23/09(Sun)00:40 No.5558549

    Emperor was Vox.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:42 No.5558569
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    Okay, hard way.

    [Black Dude whose name escapes me], call in some air support.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:42 No.5558572
    So how long until Cain has sex with a Sister of Battle?

    He's screwed an Inquisitor and a coghead (two, I think). It's only a matter of time.

    Perhaps he can teach these guardsmen the proper way to EMPRAH.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:44 No.5558587
    these guardsmen ARE doing it right
    ciaphus is a rule breaker.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:44 No.5558596
    Ciaphas Cain is a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:44 No.5558597
    *a soc is being held with her arms bound behind her back by a group of guardsmen. they snicker and cheer as they tear her clothing from her*

    SoC: "N- noooo! Please!"
    G1: "Quiet you!"
    G2: "She's got quite a mouth, though. I think I'll put it to good use! *he removes his penis and prepares to stick it in her mouth*
    G3: "She looks pretty wet down there. I'm gonna split you wide open, sis!" *he says as he bends her over and spreads her legs*
    SoC: "N-ahh! You... you heretics! You wouldn't!" *she says trying to sound angry, but secretly elated*
    G1: "You guys ready?" *he says as he prods her bottom*
    Guards: "YES, SIR!"
    *as they move towards the SoC, a heavy shaking disorients her and the men dissappear*
    Guard: "Yo, sister. Rise and shine. Let's get some breakfast started, we got an early drill today."
    *the SoC hauls herself out of bed, rubs the sleep from her eyes, and puts on her robe...*
    >> Stranger 08/23/09(Sun)00:50 No.5558646
    Is it bad if I've referred to several people as "Black Dude whose name escapes me" at various points in my life?

    I might have to drawfag up some sisters of cleaning later, this thread is solid fucking gold.
    >> Scribble !!lJ3L9/7XgeF 08/23/09(Sun)00:50 No.5558650
    >What guard unit would be so frigid

    Valhallans, of course.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:50 No.5558652

    According to the books, he's managed to wrestle a few. Unfortunately, it was during a rugby-analogue game so broken bones were involved.

    Not exactly a turn on when the only moans are from when the team captain has to be carried off in a stretcher.
    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 08/23/09(Sun)00:50 No.5558657
    goddamn it /tg/ this thread is making me frustrated

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:51 No.5558659
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    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:51 No.5558662

    >>he removes his penis

    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:52 No.5558668
    End result: All the guardsmen were in on it and punishing the sisters via sexual frustration.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:52 No.5558676
    orks grow inside you, it's warm and wet.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:52 No.5558677
    All indication is that Cain finds SoBs terrifying and would sooner stick his dick in a blender.
    >> ADAM WE !!9IHHKtQ7qla 08/23/09(Sun)00:53 No.5558682
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    meme, eh?
    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:53 No.5558688
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    >>he removes his penis

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:54 No.5558694

    Well, he did bang that tech-priest...
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/23/09(Sun)00:55 No.5558707
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    >> Anonymous 08/23/09(Sun)00:56 No.5558714
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    >> ADAM WE !!9IHHKtQ7qla 08/23/09(Sun)00:57 No.5558719
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