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  • File : 1250300371.jpg-(51 KB, 704x396, 1229725478065.jpg)
    51 KB Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:39 No.5457940  
    Good news /tg/. A rift to the fay-wild opens in modern day earth and elves make contact with the human race.

    Bad news /tg/. The elves quickly learn of /tg/ and "It's not rape if it's an elf" and decide they don't want to have anything to do with the human race.

    What now?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:40 No.5457948
    It could be worse. They could have been so affronted that they decided upon our extermination.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:41 No.5457955
    elves are probably still living in trees and sipping tea made from grass.

    Our superior metal will crush their woods.

    They will become the new niggers in society.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:41 No.5457956
    Who cares, they're a bunch of faggy elves.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:41 No.5457958
    Show them /d/, invade and take them over while they are busy puking. Enact law stating it is not rape if it is a elf.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:42 No.5457961
    Go about my business as usual and be enraged by a couple more trolls on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:42 No.5457962

    Who gives a fuck? As long as they're not dwarves, I don't care.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:43 No.5457965
    Good news /tg/. A rift to the fay-wild opens in modern day earth and elves make contact with the human race.

    Even better news /tg/. The elves quickly learn of /tg/ and "It's not rape if it's an elf" and decide the insolent humans must be taught a lesson. Using ancient fey magic they turn all /tg/ browsers into attractive elf women who must live in elven society until they learn humility.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:43 No.5457968
    >It could be worse. They could have been so affronted that they decided upon our extermination.

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:43 No.5457970
    Gee, I guess now we rape them.

    wait... fuck...
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:44 No.5457981

    We all masturbate ourselves into chafed yet blissful oblivion.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:44 No.5457983
    how would that solve the problem.

    most of /tg/ would just whore itself or kill itself.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:45 No.5457987
    Is frequent public masturbation considered humble by elven standards? Because that's what I'll be doing.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:45 No.5457989

    Feywild has Eladrins, Elves live on the Prime Material, which is why the Sue rubbed off them and made them somewhat cool.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:45 No.5457994
    Well, looks like a bunch of otherkin are going to feel a bit less special now.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:46 No.5457997
    A rift opening to the faerie world is not good news. Elves eat babies! Doesn't anyone read the old stories? Get out your iron, boys, 'cause it's time to go elf-hunting.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:46 No.5458001
    no, please don't turn this shitty thread into edition wars
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:46 No.5458002
    We're the fa/tg/uys, we go to the fay-wild and rape the fuck out of them!

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:46 No.5458005

    Exactly. Problem solved.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:47 No.5458008
    Yeah, but given all the chemicals and shit in modern babies it'd be the elf equivalent of eating mercury-laden fish.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:47 No.5458012
    Remember kids never accept them as a friend or lover and they become your slave or go away.

    Fucking faeries.

    Oh and on the subject of elves, HOW ELF KNOW WHAT COMPTAR IS?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:48 No.5458014
         File1250300887.jpg-(54 KB, 500x375, 713.jpg)
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    >Bad news /tg/. The elves quickly learn of /tg/ and "It's not rape if it's an elf" and decide they don't want to have anything to do with the human race.
    >A sentient being basing an opinion off something on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:48 No.5458020
         File1250300911.jpg-(494 KB, 1030x750, 1248722639937.jpg)
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    Bad End...
    These are Dwarf Fortress Elves...

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:49 No.5458026
    I hate elves and babies and I approve of this message.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:49 No.5458030

    So that means...
    The solution is obvious! Feed the elves our babies!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:50 No.5458036
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:50 No.5458038
    Honestly? Elves wouldn't dare to make contact with us. If they are real then we must be the stuff their nightmares are made of.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:51 No.5458041
    oh FUCK YEA.

    Soon, their only thought of humanity will be the thought of a cold iron crowbar coming at their head. We will become THEIR boogymen. The things parents scare their children with so they don't wander off or misbehave.

    What goes around comes around bitches.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:51 No.5458050
    No, the solution is obvious. Elf babies quickly become gourmet food for those seeking healthy life because they aren't full of harmful chemicals like most current food is.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:52 No.5458056
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:52 No.5458057
         File1250301140.jpg-(106 KB, 659x543, 1240186456232.jpg)
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    we have nothing to worry about the jews prepared well for this day.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:53 No.5458063
    Jews built warforged?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:53 No.5458071
    What did you think golems were, wind-up toys?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:55 No.5458078
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:55 No.5458082
    so--what's the difference whit somalian baby meat, other than the amount you get from each baby?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:55 No.5458084
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    foocking jews causing all the foocking wars in the multiverse
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:56 No.5458095

    Well, I thought they needed to be made of clay. You know, theologically.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:56 No.5458099

    I'm doing an apocalypse game coming up and SECRET JEW GOLEM ARMY FIGHTING DEMONS just became a part of it. Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:56 No.5458101
    Well, no shit. There's a reason we survive EVERYTHING.

    I mean, the short summary of all Jewish holidays goes like this: "They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!"
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:57 No.5458106
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    I know just the man for the job.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:57 No.5458107

    No, it's just a lot easier to change the Power Word on its forehead if it's done in clay instead of metal.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:58 No.5458111
    I leave out milk to have them leave me the fuck alone.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:58 No.5458120
    Doesn't stop you from putting metal over it. I mean warforged are mostly wood.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:58 No.5458121
    Put iron filings in the milk.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:59 No.5458127
    I'd set out on a quest to save and help as many Elves. I'll turn them all into Tsundere Elves sooner or later!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:59 No.5458128
    It could be EVEN WORSE: They could be Pratchjett elves. Read Lords and Ladies. Shit A MOTHERFUCKING BRICK WALL, MORTAR AND HALF A DOZEN CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:00 No.5458132
    I go back to being an art major, Leanan Sidhe broseph here I come.
    >> NuBackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 08/14/09(Fri)22:00 No.5458134
    I was working on RACIAL MECHA, Jewish kid has a Golem, powered by an unlimited oil reactor, which should be empty, but thanks to the power of THE LORD it will never run out
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:03 No.5458163
    Gentlemen. Elves are still dangerous, but we are not the same people they terrorized centuries ago. No, now we have improved. We are stronger, healthier, better trained, and most importantly, better equipped, with both weaponry and information. If the damned fae want to force us to live in fear as they have in the past, they've got another thing coming. The fight against the Fair Folk will be arduous, but we will drive the bastards back from our lands and burn their glens.

    Now we just need to get rid of Iceland. Elf-fuckers to a one.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:05 No.5458182
    >Now we just need to get rid of Iceland. Elf-fuckers to a one.
    I lol'd hard.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:05 No.5458183
    Sir, are you saying we're not allowed to fuck the elves? Isn't that the point of war, to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women?
    ...As you rape them? This will kill morale, sir.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:06 No.5458194
    I had a similar idea, except the racial mecha were works of architecture. So you had three Egyptian siblings with combining pyramid mechs, a Chinese kid piloting the Wall of China (which transforms into a 6400km long dragon when activated) and the Pope himself piloting St. Peter's Basilica, powered by the remains of St. Peter and assisted by his soul.
    >> NuBackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 08/14/09(Fri)22:08 No.5458209
    Change Pyramid 1!
    Change Obelisk 2!
    Change Sphinx 3!

    and a giant robot dragon, christ awesome
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:10 No.5458221

    Don't be daft, major! Of course you can rape them. There's a big difference from raping elves and fucking elves.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:10 No.5458222
    No, you can fuck the elves, but you only get to rape the male ones. Because for the female ones, it's far more enjoyable to force them to resort to prostitution in order to scrape out a meager day-to-day existence, then savor their self-loathing as they suck your dick in the hopes of enough money to afford a meal that day.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:12 No.5458237
         File1250302357.jpg-(303 KB, 770x1024, 1231227111747.jpg)
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    So, something like this?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/14/09(Fri)22:13 No.5458242
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    Bad news /tg/. A rift to the fay-wild opens in modern day earth and elves make contact with the human race.

    Good news /tg/. Elven biology produces a cure-all chemical that can solve everything from indigestion to mussed up hair to diabetes. It can act as anything from a hammock to a toothbrush holder to a canary nest. It answers humanity's each and every need.

    What now?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:14 No.5458253

    This man is an elf-sympathizer! See how he harbors our pointy-eared foe! Men, arrest him!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:14 No.5458255
    Bad news /tg/. The chemical in question is elf sperm and is only effective as a medicine when taken directly.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:14 No.5458256
    Oh, boy. Them elves are fucked, sir.
    >> NOT PARANOIA 08/14/09(Fri)22:15 No.5458263

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:15 No.5458268
    I rape them.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:16 No.5458271
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:17 No.5458277

    where have i heard that before
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:17 No.5458278
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:18 No.5458282
    We harvest delicious elven tears, of course!

    Remember, the properties change depending on whether they're tears of sorrow, rage, pain, pleasure, washing irritating shit out of the eye, or any combination thereof, so be sure to evoke the desired stimuli before harvesting!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/14/09(Fri)22:22 No.5458315
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    You'll be amazed! You'll be nonplussed!
    It tastes like bread without the crust!
    Rids your home of dismal dust!
    It's a natural! It's a must!
    Eliminates carburetor rust!

    It's super duper hooper hyper!
    Makes a perfect windshield wiper!
    Foolproof trap to catch a viper!
    Weeds out gripes from any griper!
    Papa smokes it in his piper!
    Baby says, "Boy, what a diaper!"
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:27 No.5458370
         File1250303257.jpg-(242 KB, 800x523, take a seat.jpg)
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    Actualy, I just wanted to know "where all da pointy eared woman at?"
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:28 No.5458376
    Clearly we must abduct elven children for study to see if we can recreate this miraculous substance in a controlled setting.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:31 No.5458417
    In District 9 we have aliens.

    In District 10 we have elves.

    Even the aliens from District 9 are allowed to rape elves.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:40 No.5458491
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    Look! border-hoppers, and I don't think there here for your jobs hombre...
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:42 No.5458514

    Hmm. Very well. You're free to go so long as you rape as many elves as possible on the way out. Elves will be provided.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:49 No.5458573

    Why thank you. Remember, breaking someone's body and soul is a lot of fun. But the satisfaction you get from that pales in comparison to the rush you achieve by putting someone into a situation where they have to break their bodies and souls themselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:50 No.5458583
    >decide they don't want to have anything to do with the human race.

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:53 No.5458609
    >>this thread

    I will see your Herp and raise you a Derp
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:27 No.5458931
    First contact was a nightmare. The portals opened up all over the city, and these people that looked human, but somehow weren't, poured through. Wielding weapons of the ancient days, they immediately set upon the citizens, butchering man, woman and child alike. I tremble to imagine myself in that situation, staring up at the invader, silhouetted by a raging portal of fire.

    The Elves' initial attack went off perfectly. Portals opened near every exit route, outside police headquarters, near any building where a reasonable defense could be mounted. The entire city was slaughtered, and amidst the fury a message was sent out to every human on the planet through their mastery of magic.

    "Humans, at long last we have undone the chains that bound us beyond the world, and we have come to reclaim what is ours. We have honed our skills for the long time that we were gone, and you have no chance of stopping us. Resign yourselves to your fates, and die ignominiously."

    As the message had been telepathically sent to every human, a response was quickly put together...

    (Shall I continue, /tg/?)
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:31 No.5458977

    please do
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/14/09(Fri)23:33 No.5458984

    And the bangers of Camden joined with the ballaz of Chilltown JC, and together they took back Jersey.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:33 No.5458993
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:36 No.5459012
    I wonder how the elves would cope with the dangerous areas on earth. You know, like Northern Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Detroit.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:38 No.5459023
    And then the elves wailed in agony as they realized that everything they touched was tainted with steel.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:39 No.5459035
    Most people didn't want to get involved. They felt that they had no part in the conflict. Their voices were not heard over the clamor for war and revenge. Those who decided to fight back immediately began arming themselves, and after a short time, they organized and prepared a counter-attack, directly into the city that the elves had so cravenly destroyed.

    As the human taskforce arrived, they were immediately suspicious of how quiet it was, compared to the usually noisy atmosphere. Although they were alert and expecting the unexpected, the Elves' stealth gave them a crucial advantage- the first strike.

    Arrows flew out from the windows, from behind ledges, wherever there was a place to hide, there was an elf knocking an arrow and taking aim. Fortunately for the humans, they were wearing some armor and were able to quickly take cover in the abandoned buildings. using the time inbetween arrow volleys, the humans took aim, and answered the invaders' arrows with their bullets.

    The air cracked as the guns went off, and many elves fell to the ground clutching wounds. Other elves fell clutching their sensitive ears, unused to the sound of gunpowder, and other elves simply fell, slain by the human response.

    Emboldened by the reaction, the humans charged out of the buildings to get to better positions. When the elves finally came out of shock, they saw that the humans had completely shifted the tide of battle, and that they were in dire straits.

    One elf commander let his pride get the best of him, and drew his sword to attack a human. He didn't get any farther than a foot before he was taken off his feet by the roar of a shotgun, and his soldiers were similarly sent to their deaths.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:44 No.5459094
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    /tg/ and other fantasy fans won't care much, because any minutia between them and how they're described in their favorite fiction will make them "so fake" and "not really elves".
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:46 No.5459108
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    And somewhere in that clusterfuck is this guy.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:47 No.5459118
    I want to feel sorry for the elves, but I can't.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:50 No.5459131
    I'd just snag a few elf chicks, tie them up and rape them whenever I wanted.

    Fuck elves. Humans rules, anyone who says otherwise is a race traitor.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:51 No.5459137
    Well they did just slaughter an entire city and notably because they literally had SUDDENLY, PORTALS, THOUSANDS OF THEM and use their magic to basically declare war on humanity itself.

    Here's to hoping HUMANITY IS SUPERIOR pulls through.

    No one wants to be a treehugger's bitch, no matter how big her tits are.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:51 No.5459138
    The humans advanced farther into the city and closer to the portals, shooting any elves they found along the way. Sometimes they would have to clear out buildings before they could move forward, sometimes the elves would be waiting for them on the streets, expecting to charge them and win in a melee. The humans' response was to eliminate them on sight, and give them no chance to retaliate.

    The elves realized that their initial force was dwindling, and so they concentrated around a particularly large portal that was meant to bring forth entire armies. While this tactic would have made for a grand battle in ages past, it made them prime targets for the humans, who took position in buildings overlooking the site and rained lead upon the elves. The sudden change in favor of humanity left the elves shellshocked, and many of them began to scatter, only to be cut down by accurate fire.

    Eventually, only a few elves remained, and they dropped their weapons in surrender. As they saw their assailants come into view, their jaws dropped.

    They had expected to surrender to an army, and here in front of them were no more than thirty men.

    After being taken, the elf learned much. Much about the world, and much about the terrible error he had made.

    The city he had conquered was a small farming village, and the mental projection, meant to spread to the entire race, only made it as far to nearby towns as the sheer number of humans alive made it impossible for the spell to complete its goal. The elves were outnumbered, outmatched, outsmarted. They had failed.

    And the humans now held the portals.

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/14/09(Fri)23:52 No.5459151

    Gather the homies and roll in da looted tankz.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:56 No.5459183
    writer here.

    I was considering making this a longer story with an actual war involving the entire fucking planet, but that'd take forever and I'm lazy. If anyone else wants to take a crack at it, go for it.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:56 No.5459185
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    And now you have to do the sequel where we end up exploring the otherwise and come up against fantasy tropes and come out on top through superior technology.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:57 No.5459192
    Other side even, wow.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:58 No.5459203
    Isn't flat as a board? Clearly that's a half-elf at best.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:02 No.5459241
    Oh dammit, this does sound cool.

    While the initial human advances were made by the town's residents, knowledge of the portals was soon made available to government officials thanks to satellite technology. As a result, the army proper had stepped in to investigate the portals and prevent another incursion from ever happening. The tinier portals had disappeared, but the large one seemed to have stabilized. Both sides of this massive gateway were ringed with layers of defences: Concrete walls, razor wire, machinegun nests and artillery batteries.

    Two weeks after a beachhead had been established, the first counter-assault had begun. Armored columns rolled into the portal. Rows of tanks and APCs traversed time and space in order to deliver a serious kick in the ass to whoever would dare attack humanity.

    Strange, then, that the first creatures that the task force encountered were also human.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:02 No.5459248
    Good show on this short piece.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:03 No.5459256
    So did all those people who troll the sci-fi Humanity, Fuck Yeah threads go on vacation today?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:05 No.5459272
    I hate to say it, but the kids went to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:07 No.5459299

    Not quite OP.

    BEST of news /tg/. While most of the elves departed in disgust, a few hotties who had rape fantasies remained and sought out fa/tg/uys.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:08 No.5459304
    At first, both sides were wary of eachother. The native humans tended to run away at the sight of the horde of metal monsters, but one brave man held his ground and refused to budge. From one of the APCs, Corporal (VOTE FOR NAME HERE) came out and met the man.

    While the corporal was dressed in standard army uniform, the man opposite of him was wearing elegant plate armor with some sort of symbol engraved on it. He wore a sheathed sword and a book was attached to a chain, decorated with the same symbol on his armor.

    The paladin did not know what to make of the horde of metal monsters, but he did know that he stood little to no chance of defeating them. He could only pray that his god would see his worth and intervene on his behalf. However, instead of being destroyed or filled with righteous power, he stood there, transfixed as one of the metal beasts opened a mouth and disgorged a man. This man was strangely dressed in green and tan clothes, but walked with the confidence of a skilled soldier. The paladin, being the only person left in the village, spoke first.

    (OK /tg/, let's hear some names for our first two characters!)
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:09 No.5459314

    Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:09 No.5459318
    Bill Heinrich.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:11 No.5459334
    Elves are found not to be covered by the constitution and thereby law, treated as livestock and hunting permits are issued.... i've waited for this day...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:12 No.5459338
    You know, back when I was starting DMing, I ran a campaign kinda like this but from the other side. Standard ho-hum fantasy world, a few rare portals began popping up here and there. The PCs "randomly" encountered one and decided to go through it. Wound up in the forests in New York state, slowly describing the scenery. They didn't quite get it at first, due to slow build-up, but they thought it was pretty neat when they finally understood.

    Long story short, they created the Magic Mafia.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:13 No.5459340
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    >hunting permits issued for elves

    What's the bag limit?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:14 No.5459346

    Two stags, five doe.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:15 No.5459351
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    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:17 No.5459362
    Let's keep this rolling guys, let's kill these smug pointy eared cunts.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:20 No.5459377
    what the fuck man! what the fucking fuck!...Sauce?
    >> parabolic:superHERO !!HfL9M9xslOG 08/15/09(Sat)00:20 No.5459380
    Ichi the killer.
    it's like, "let's make a manga just to shock people with gratuitous sex and violence."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:22 No.5459391
    Paladin Johnny Knoxville steeled himself and spoke as firmly as he could.

    "Invader! I care not if you ride in metal beasts or if you are a strong warlord! Know that I, Paladin Knoxville, and the defender of this town, and I will die before allowing you to destroy it!" Johnny drew his sword and assumed a defensive stance, desperately praying for deliverance.

    Corporal Steve Owenson (or Steve-O as his more familiar soldiers called him) eyed the man and decided that he wasn't much of a threat.

    "Well then, Mr. Knoxville. I am Corporal Steve Owenson of the United States Army! You look human to me, are you human?" Upon the armored man's affirmative reply, Steve continued: "We're not here to attack your village, or any other human village. We were savagely attacked by elves, and we are here to make them pay dearly for that. If you would be so kind as to point me in their direction, my men and I will leave you alone."

    Paladin Knoxville pondered the situation. The town was not in danger, but these newcomers said that they wanted to destroy the elves...

    "Corp.. Corpral... Corporal Owenson! If you mean us no harm than I mean you none. Know that the elves have also trespassed against us, and done us grievous harm. If you would consider it, I would gladly join forces with you in order to purge the elvenkind from our lands."

    The corporal paused. Normally taking on non-military personnel was not allowed, but this situation was as far from ordinary as possible. The man could be a suitable guide as well, and help identify friend from foe in this strange world.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:22 No.5459392

    I thought that's what all of Japan was like?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:24 No.5459404
    He definitely did not want a repeat of the "incident", where the local women turned out to be some kind of demons, and were slowly eating the lifeforce of his men. He put a stop to that, but hopefully this man could help prevent it from happening again.

    "Alright Mr. Knoxville, welcome to the 54th armored division. We'll show those elves that humanity is not a species to fuck with!"

    And that's all for tonight folks. I'll try to get myself started up tomorrow with bigger chapters, and maybe some more choices for you guys.
    >> parabolic:superHERO !!HfL9M9xslOG 08/15/09(Sat)00:24 No.5459406
    even for manga, it's like that.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:24 No.5459410
         File1250310288.jpg-(52 KB, 750x578, 1246689558469.jpg)
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    The typical elf hunter's gun.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:26 No.5459418
    ITT /tg/ gets a boner over the idea of being able to kill all beautiful and smart people.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:27 No.5459426

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:29 No.5459446
    We await your return.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:30 No.5459452
    Hippie contamination detected.
    Immediate purge recommended
    >> Belisarius 08/15/09(Sat)00:32 No.5459460
    Looks more dwarfy than elfy.
    Tell them we know about " It's not date rape if it's a human."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:32 No.5459461
    well, most of /tg/ is full of fat smelly ugly bastards. Of course they get off at retarded things. They can't function any other way.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:33 No.5459467
    no Beli, for HUNTING elves, not for elven hunters
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:36 No.5459483
    That and "It's not pedo if it's a human."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:36 No.5459485

    This is more of a piece of revenge fiction then a kill all the beautiful people fiction.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:36 No.5459487
    That's the point. It's used to hunt elves.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:37 No.5459493
    I don't know if you wrote this yourself or copied it from somewhere but that was awesome, Shas.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:37 No.5459495
    O hey writer here. Should I write later in the day? I remember trying to post that hugehammer fic that I was writing, but daytime /tg/ flamed it away so I decided to discontinue it.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:38 No.5459508

    Look, if a human tries to match a dwarf drink for drink, they have only themselves to blame for what happens next.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:39 No.5459518
    Nighttime /tg/ is usually less trolly, if they hate it, they'll usually just ignore it. So yeah, stick to late.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:39 No.5459521
         File1250311198.jpg-(107 KB, 428x605, asthosewhohuntelvesag8.jpg)
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    What's going on here?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:40 No.5459530

    I don't fully understand why there is such a marked difference between daytime /tg/ and nighttime /tg/. Do trolls go to bed early or something?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:41 No.5459538
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    You remember that old Dr. Seuss book, the Lorax?

    Remember the movie they made of it?

    Remember the song about Thneeds, the answer to humanity's every need?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:42 No.5459543

    Most. But I'm still here.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:43 No.5459546
    Well, most of them are around ten or eleven years old.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:43 No.5459550
    I think that most young people have bedtimes set by their mothers, so late-time /tg/ is superior.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:44 No.5459559
    ........('(...´.▲.´... ¯~/'...')
    .........\...▲ ▲......'...../
    ..........''...\.......... _.·´
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:44 No.5459563

    You're okay. You're an entertaining troll, rather then an annoying troll. It can be a fine line to walk at times, but I feel you usually pull it off remarkably well.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:45 No.5459570
    It's seen that most trolls and people who can't carry a decent conversation also happen to be have just recently (or not yet even) hit puberty.

    Yes, 4chan in general tends to get better during the American night time. Except for /b/ and /r9k/, there's no saving those two at all.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:47 No.5459595

    see, skip to about 2:50 in.

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:49 No.5459617
    There isn't, it's a placebo.
    There is no set "nighttime /tg/" I have seen the same time of day called both daytime and nighttime. People just use the term nighttime to as a shorthand for "thread with posts that I like"

    It's almost as bad as that summer strawman that people use to post garbage threads. Kids take family vacations away from their computers in the summer.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:50 No.5459625

    I just got punched in the nuts with nostalgia
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:53 No.5459649
    maybe in famiyiland, but here in the western world you see your milkman more often than your family.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:54 No.5459658

    Wait you still have a milkman?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:55 No.5459664
    You know, I'd give anything to live five minutes in your world, Caboose.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:55 No.5459668
    have one? boy, I was conceived by him.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:55 No.5459670
    This bit of writefaggotry bears a striking similarity to the first part of The Salvation War, but with elves instead of demons and on a much smaller scale.


    It's a full length novel that's about seventeen different kinds of fuckawesome. The armies of hell invade earth by portalling in near Iraq, and promptly get their asses handed to them.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:55 No.5459671
    That third-world place still has milkmen? We have supermarkets for that kind of thing now.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:56 No.5459678

    Hell, I just buy in bulk at Sam's Club.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)00:58 No.5459688

    Part 2 can't update fast enough.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:35 No.5460060
    After President Clinton shotguns a succubus in the gut:

    The senior of the secret servicemen was speaking on the radio. “Stay away from the body please, we don’t know what we’re dealing with here.” Then he turned to Clinton. “Well done sir, but, how did you know?”

    Clinton grinned, the easy, friendly grin that won him elections. “I’ve been married to Hilary for thirty years. Believe me, after going through that, I have no trouble recognizing a fiend from hell.”
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/15/09(Sat)01:36 No.5460071

    "Hey, Bill killed a demon."

    "Great job, Bill. Have a drink."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:21 No.5460455

    "President, how did you know?"

    "I didn't."

    God bless America.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:22 No.5460466
    After monika he just couldn't take any chances.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)06:34 No.5462446
    Best answer.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:01 No.5462725
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:03 No.5462742
    Bill was the best prez ever :3
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:05 No.5462774
         File1250334340.jpg-(282 KB, 800x1000, Daio200509131308081.jpg)
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    Good news /tg/. All Female elves are officially considered as sex slaves.

    Bad News. Many of you fa/tg/uys could never afford one anyway.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:06 No.5462784
    And nothing of value was lost.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:08 No.5462804
    Are you kidding me? Fa/tg/uys have an absurd amount of disposable income, how else do they buy miniatures?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:09 No.5462813
    if it flies, floats, or fucks... rent it.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:14 No.5462852
    And nothing of value was lost.
    I promptly start killing all female elves who seem aroused at their current situation, then am promptly set to jail, where I roll my eyes at the irony of getting raped ... by other elves.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:14 No.5462855
         File1250334855.jpg-(203 KB, 848x1200, 79650 - Candra drow Dungeons_a(...).jpg)
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    Good news /tg/. A rift to the fay-wild opens in modern day earth.

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:15 No.5462868
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    I begin to convert them to the worship of Xiombarg immediately.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:16 No.5462877
    Call the FBI.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:19 No.5462897
    Are you kidding? With as much corruption and internal politics as happens in our government, half of them already serve her.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:19 No.5462898

    Is this published anywhere in hardcopy, or is it just floating around the internet?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:20 No.5462905

    Milk comes in Bags.
    >> Eldar Warlock 08/15/09(Sat)07:20 No.5462909
         File1250335258.jpg-(484 KB, 1010x756, Eldar_Warlock.jpg)
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    Though our kin on your world may posess no harm; my Space-Elfe kin will bring great pain! Face your end Monk'eigh!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:21 No.5462912
    >drow making sex slaves of us all
    >bad thing
    say wat
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:36 No.5463028
    An interesting view, good sir.
    May I however point you to the fact that even some male drow have enough might to own slaves? Could be a bad course of events.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)07:59 No.5463228
    Hurry up! Please return and write some more!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:06 No.5463303
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    Good news /tg/. Elves appear.

    Bad news /tg/. They are terrible in bed.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:09 No.5463320
    this had entirely slipped my mind
    would they not seek out females? i beleive we would be safe enough, and welcome the drow.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:12 No.5463340
    I believe as a male we might be screwed.
    Females, however, are in a win-win situation.
    Drow are bisexual by nature, and so are human females.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:12 No.5463342
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    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:12 No.5463343
    I'm bored and thus willing to write fag a bit.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:15 No.5463365
    tactical nuke right though the rift and teach those fuckers two lessons one trees burn, and two FUCK YAH HUMANITY
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:15 No.5463368
    Good. Please start where this >>5459404 has left off...

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:16 No.5463372
    ALL drow are bisexual?
    well that could pose a problem.
    i dont know, maybe we could learn to love prostate stimulation?
    i know its not a substitute for a real drow female, but i beleive it better than my current non existant sex life.
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:17 No.5463380

    I prefer going where this
    left off.
    The original author can finish his own writefaggotry when he gets back.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:18 No.5463395

    Please just write. As one as you write like an auther I am happy...

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:19 No.5463398
    "At first the prince seemed excited. He bade me remove my shift, and made me stand in front of the opened window, far from the fire, until my skin was chilled stone-cold. Then he asked me to lie upon my back, with my hands folded across my breasts, my eyes wide open - but staring only at the beams above. He told me not to move, and to breathe as little as possible. He implored me to say nothing. He spread my legs apart.

    It was then that he entered me.

    As he began to thrust inside me, I felt my hips raise, felt myself begin to match him, grind for grind, push for push. I moaned. I could not help myself.

    His manhood slid out of me. I reached out and touched it, a tiny, slippery thing.

    "Please," he said, softly. "You must neither move, nor speak. Just lie there on the stones, so cold and so fair."

    I tried, but he had lost whatever force it was that had made him virile; and, some short while later, I left the Prince's room, his curses and tears still resounding in my ears.

    He left early the next morning, with all his men, and they rode off into the forest."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:20 No.5463405

    We have UV lamps.
    We could totally subdue the Drow.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:21 No.5463410

    That sounds just like a scene from Neil Gaiman's version of Snow White.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:22 No.5463413
    hes into dead chicks
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:23 No.5463419
    Because it is. Word for word.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:23 No.5463422
    or you know the motherfucking sun would melt and burn their skin
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:23 No.5463424
    They can see UV radiation - the grew up in the deepest part of the dakrness. You kind of have to be aware of radiation as a general rule.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:24 No.5463433
    No no no, we don't want to kill them.
    Well, we don't want to kill their women.

    And always remember: It's not rape if it's an elf, and in the end drow are elves too.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:25 No.5463441
         File1250339122.png-(10 KB, 512x640, 1240455087531.png)
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    >thinking he could even attempt a "rape" on a drow
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:25 No.5463442
    >>Elven biology produces a cure-all chemical that can solve everything from indigestion to mussed up hair to diabetes. It can act as anything from a hammock to a toothbrush holder to a canary nest. It answers humanity's each and every need.

    Guess We freeze dry them, grind them into powder and snort Elf.
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:26 No.5463447
    (Alternate version.)

    A month later, Elven court of Tirem-Ag.
    Lord Gwerconer tapped his cane on the marble floor...
    "Beasts of metal?"
    "Yes my lord." The messenger nodded.
    "Building a city of metal and stone that flows like water?"
    "Yes my lord."
    The high elven lord took a deep breath. What is this nonsense? They were supposed to be the victors, the noble race conquering the barbaric hordes of humanity, just like the tomes of old predicted. How could they be so wrong?
    "What about the second army we sent?"
    "We don't know my lord."
    "The scouts? The mages?"
    "Nothing my lord, just one of the scouts returned."
    "Just one?"
    "Yes my lord."
    The high lord Gwerconer shook his head. What happened, why did it go so wrong?

    (Tell me how you like it while it goes, I'll try to get as close as what /tg/ wants.)
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:27 No.5463455
    >>Guess We freeze dry them, grind them into powder and snort Elf.

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:28 No.5463463
    Perfect please go on! *_*
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:29 No.5463467
    humanity RIP'N'TEAR every force the elves send at them
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:32 No.5463481
    the humans tech the elves a hard lesson is the use of napalm, cluster munitions, viral and bacterilogical, and pretty much eevry other weapon banned by the UN for being inhumane. as they are not human those laws do not apply to them
    >> Once again... Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:34 No.5463492
    It could be EVEN WORSE: They could be Pratchett elves. Read Lords and Ladies. Shit A MOTHERFUCKING BRICK WALL, MORTAR AND HALF A DOZEN CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:41 No.5463528

    A week later, base Alpha, the other side of the portal.
    "More of them?" General Maxwell observed yet another "army" of the so called "elves" trying to assault their newly constructed base. "The madmen, the fools, pfeh. If they behave let them go, otherwise shoot the leader, if they don't go away after that mow down the rest."
    "Sir, yes sir."

    On the other side of the fence, more than an arrows flight from the base.
    As a Mage of the fourth circle there was much he has seen, but nothing quite as this abomination against nature that stood before him. A huge mountain of stone and metal erected in the middle of an once lush landscape... he rose his hands and began to chant, the men behind him eager to retake this lands from the barbaric invaders. A thundering roar ripped the air... the mage took a step back, looked down, his white robe was slowly turning red, the magic around him collapsed... "...what?"

    Back in the base.
    "Woah, nice shot."
    "Thank man." Kowalski, grade A sniper pulled out a large cigar. "Fucking pests."

    Again they were being slaughtered by invisible forces, explosions from nowhere, wounds that just appeared on the body, something tearing through armour... than flames, a lake of flames around them. Than there was nothing more, not even any wounded to scream.

    From a high tower Maxwell observed the massacre. "We have new orders, tomorrow we'll go and take these lands in the name of uncle Sam."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:48 No.5463562

    Add UAV's and air craft, if possible...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:49 No.5463567
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    I think /tg/ can afford an elf. Just think of how much money we spend on overpriced army men.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:50 No.5463575
    needs more chemical warfare
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:53 No.5463590
    Two months later, the court of Tirem-Ag, in the council chamber.
    "The barbarians are nearly at our gates!"
    "We threw army after army against them!"
    "Our finest mages!"
    "The youth of the kingdom all lost!"
    "Silence! Silence!"
    "We have no choice but to give up!"
    "How can we?!"
    "SILENCE!" Lord Gwerconer roared as loud as he could. "What is this chaos? This bickering? Is this how..." He fell into silence. A sound of constant roaring and their strange barbaric music... something was coming from the west. He rushed towards a nearby balcony, on the horizon a flock of monstrous metal insects approached, huge things that never should be able to hold themselves in the air.


    The message was shouted in distorted, crude high elven, the council hall fell silent.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:56 No.5463610
    >> RAISE


    fixed it for yah

    also fuck yah psy ops
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)08:56 No.5463613
    Why is the prize for defiance a nicer view at the expense of billions of dollars in engineering works as everything is elevated? Are we reverse psychology-ing the elves?
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)08:58 No.5463627
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:00 No.5463643
    B/c we can and it is for the lulz!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:01 No.5463648
    >Are we reverse psychology-ing the elves
    no we actually want them to fight
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:02 No.5463657
    the war would be over in hours, once we get a fix on their citys we would fucking carpet bomb them into the ground
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:02 No.5463666
    Fuck that no negotiation is needed when they're all dead.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:03 No.5463669
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)09:15 No.5463746
    Thank you kind Anon.

    You do not destroy what you can take.

    The council was in turmoil.
    "We can't let them do this!"
    "This is an outrage!"
    "They're turning the masses against us. Already they riot below the Palace!"
    "We cannot give in to their empty threats!"
    "Empty? They destroyed everything we sent against them, they burned our fortresses to the ground, smothered the rubble against the landscape."
    "Impossible. Not even our mages wield such power."
    Time was running out. Somewhere along the line they made an error, a grave error of underestimating something they did not understand.
    The doors slammed open.
    "My lordships... they people, they have broken into the Palace grounds! They demand we turn... turn the council over... just as the barbarians demand."

    Elsewhere, temporary human encampment.
    General Maxwell looked through some high altitude photos and videos of the elven capital, the streets were already burning, and the didn't even need to fire a single shell.
    "Splendid. However... order the artillery to strike here, here and here."
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:16 No.5463749
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:22 No.5463788
    What happens after we destroy their city? Do we colonize their world? XD
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:23 No.5463794

    We rape them!

    Murk lore
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:24 No.5463805

    What about other fantasy creatures/things?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:27 No.5463830
    Orks = NAPALM STRIKE Probably Vietnam all over again.
    Goblin/Troll = NAPALM STRIKE.
    Human = Diplomacy.
    Naga = Chemical Warfare/Poison the Water.
    Dwarf = Diplomacy use them to build more weapons.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:28 No.5463832
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:28 No.5463835

    Minotaurs = Steak
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:29 No.5463848
    Too lazy to pull out Monster Manual...

    Anyway: Write_Fag: Please write more. ^_^ Maybe involving what we (me and >>5463830
    ) are talking about...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:32 No.5463870
    illithid? beholder? aboleth? sahuagin? troll? hellfire wyrm?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:33 No.5463881
    Forget to add.
    Dragon = AA/SAM/ICMB
    Treant = NAPALM.

    Left my monster Manual at home..
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:34 No.5463889
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:34 No.5463892
    dopplegangers, tanar'ri bread dopplegangers
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:35 No.5463898

    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)09:36 No.5463904
    I'll finish up the pacification of the elves and stop for now, I have a game to ST.

    The following night was not an easy for the elves. Father turned on son, and brothers clashed swords. The city was burning in many places, the rioting couldn't be stopped... until.
    It came with the wind, roars and shrieks as nothing they have ever heard. Fire was raining around the the city, razing the walls and gates of the "mighty" capital. Hundreds died in this display of power.

    The next day, the human encampment.
    "They are coming sir."
    "Of course." Maxwell stood up. "Get the translator."

    High lord Gwerconer has never seen something like the barbaric forces that invaded them. The huge beasts they rode, the weapons they held, the sheer size and magnitude of everything they did.
    Before him stood a man that personified power, dressed in a regal grey uniform with golden trims.
    "I am high lord Gwerconer, we... we surrender as you demand."
    Next to their leader stood a small man with strange glass... things on his eyes. He turned to the commander and said something in a crude language.
    "This is general Maxwell of the American Army. We demand to know who is responsible for the attack on our town." The way he spoke was crude, the high lord hesitated with the answer...
    "We demand to know who is responsible for the attack on our town."
    "... I gave the order to attack." The high lord spoke.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:37 No.5463914
    Any ideas upon how we will combat the undead (mainly Liches) and Deities?

    Also what about half-elves?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:38 No.5463920

    Illithid = Tank Rush/Sniper team.
    Beholder = Artillery Strike (THOSE EYES AIN'T SO USEFUL NOW).
    Aboleth = Sniper Team send to destroy the Brian/Just Blow it up.
    Sahuagin = Poison Water = Profit.
    Troll = >>5463830
    Hellfire Wyrm = AA'd
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:43 No.5463953
    Eldar = Spress Elf VS 24 Hour Patrol (Tanks/Dog/Marine/Sniper Include)

    Undead = THE POWER OF CHRIST Just kidding hmmm...Missile..lots of em.
    Deities = Stop believing in them = Less power
    Half-Elves = Hire for scout force.

    Cthulhu? Oh shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:43 No.5463954
    New writefaggotry is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:45 No.5463976
    But wont the Eldar just destroy our planet with a fleet of Void stalkers?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:47 No.5463994
    Oh that....Nuke..Lots and lots of Nuke.

    Think US Nuke + Russian Nuke + North Korea Nuke + The Rest of the whole damn world Nuke.

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:49 No.5464015
    Hellfire wyrms can walk around like funny brimstone smelling humans at will yet have full access to their abilities, while sahuagin live in the oceans that humans will probably to not want be saturated with nerve agents. Both illithid and beholders are sun shunning critters who live underground and can bore holes out of solid bedrock at will. Not to mention the illithid elder brain can scan for psychic presences miles around and usually has nothing better to do than sit under miles of solid rock and scry on world leaders for its minions go teleporting in and start sucking face. Superior tactics are in order.

    The aboleth is preoccupied with his book club in Innsmouth so we can at least forget about that one.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:50 No.5464018
    What about Necrons?
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)09:51 No.5464025
    "He says it was him who gave the order sir."
    Maxwell reached into his uniform and pulled out a gun.
    Four shots, two to the knees and two to the shoulders. One for his father, one for his wife, two for his children. The elven council trembled at the seemingly random display of brutality.
    "Move out, we're taking the city." He turned around. "Remember men, don't eat their food, don't drink their water. Everyone is an enemy."

    They entered the city as conquerors, before them, broken and tattered the old council walked in shame. The people of the city were too afraid to even throw rocks. One woman, her family killed in the bombardment desperately jumped one of the soldiers with a dagger. The blade didn't even puncture his armour and she was slapped back into the fray where she wept along with half of the city.

    Maxwell took seat on the central throne of the old council room. "Today this world changes." Today they begin to take it as their own.

    Za end.
    Sorry /tg/, got to go.
    Hope you liked it.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:51 No.5464032
    Rust monsters
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:52 No.5464037
    I did, thank you.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:52 No.5464038
    We take over.
    It's not invasion or rape if it's an elf.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:53 No.5464041
    ...A10 Airstrike always work.
    What do you suggest?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:53 No.5464050
    Crossbreeding. We'll have them outnumbered and beat within a generation.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:55 No.5464070
    Loved it!
    It was great!
    Therwell Anon....

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:57 No.5464078
    What about the things from the Far Realm?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)09:57 No.5464086
    Tarrasque = Lure it to the Enemy (We can't kill em? Use em.
    Elementals = Use the Opposite Element.
    Rust monsters = Send them to the Junk Yard = Profit.

    Anymore? I'm having fun.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:00 No.5464092
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:00 No.5464096

    Incorporeality + exponential growth = drrr
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:01 No.5464109
    Or they'll outnumbered us instead!
    I Enjoyed it now back to hunting fantasy creature.
    More Information is needed.
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)10:02 No.5464117
    I'll just throw in a quote from my quantum physics professor: "If god existed scientists would find him, study him, miniaturise him and put him in our watches". He was joking but it has a point towards any sort of SCIENCE! vs. MAGIC! dilemma.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:05 No.5464139
    Those guys?.../tg/ help me out.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:05 No.5464143
    Far realm like it is in 4E:

    A place that is full of random "wtf happed to physics," meoments. Also reminds me of H.P. Lovecrafts dangerous knowedge theme...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:06 No.5464149
    It also has NYC sized creatures as its smallest sized creatures....
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:09 No.5464167
    Random eh? Send in the /b/tard it's a win-win.
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)10:09 No.5464168
    Well... not really, Some Far Realm creatures are smaller than humans. Other are so immense a human cannot even comprehend their form and magnitude.

    Either way Far Realm = Pure Chaos, Pure Madness, even beyond that of Limbo.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:09 No.5464169
    >> The Bearded Bear 08/15/09(Sat)10:12 No.5464192
    Talk it over. They are cool guys, reasonable too!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:12 No.5464195
    I'm confuse.
    Ethergaunts = At first I was thinking about Diplomacy but then I remember that they're Neutral Evil...Full scale war!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:17 No.5464235
    What about demons?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:23 No.5464287
    Demons = Bullet (With the local Holy Water) + Head = Profit
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:34 No.5464370
    Full scale war, against Ethergaunts. That's it humanity is lost.
    These fuckers don't fight fair, you won't even be able to hit them. And in the rare cases that you can hit them it would mean that you can see them, enjoy your insanity.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:35 No.5464378

    I wounder if we find a way to infade other planes as well?

    Also: Neth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neth
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:36 No.5464380
    Oh for fuck sake, What do we do then?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:57 No.5464558
    I'm just waiting for the part in the stories when the humans figure out how to use the elven magic for themselves to create tanks that don't need fuel, enchanted weapons, and infinitely replenishing M.R.E.'s. I'm thinking robots and Heinleinian exo-suits would also become viable too.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:59 No.5464582
    >> Mr. Lich 08/15/09(Sat)11:09 No.5464673
    Do anything to make this stay on /tg/!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)11:13 No.5464714
    Is anyone still here?

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