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  • File : 1250290456.jpg-(61 KB, 500x500, darkhrsy.jpg)
    61 KB Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)18:54 No.5456402  
    ITT: Dark Heresy Warp Malfunctions

    You are in the Warp when something bad and wierd happens, roll a D100 to find out what!

    Here are some of mine from the last thread:

    On a roll of 01

    The teeth, nails and hair of the crew start to grow at many times their normal rate. Hair grows at one inch a minute, nails at one inch every four minutes, and teeth will grow one inch every ten minutes. Hair and nails can be dealt with by simple, albeit constant, cutting. Teeth are more dangerous, and will grow long and sharp, and straight through the skull or jaw of the crewmember, unless pulled out. Even if pulled out, they will erupt again in twenty minutes.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)18:57 No.5456443
    On a roll of 02

    Every open orifice of the crew will gradually heal over. This means the mouth, eyes, ears, nose, anus, urethra, vagina, and even the sweat pores. The problems caused by this can only be solved by physically cutting the orifice open again, to allow the crew to eat, defecate, urinate and even breath. Any wounds quickly heal over as well, so the crew must cut every hour or so, or they will simply suffocate.

    The next level of the problem causes all flesh to heal together. Fingers and toes join together, legs bind to each other, arms bind to the torso, until the body of the crewmember is like a fleshy slug. The problem can only be solved by more self-mutilitation.

    Every day this goes on, roll a D6. On the first day, you must roll a one to have the problem disappear, on the second day you must roll under 2, and so on. On any day a roll of 6 will make the problem go to the next level. When the problem finally resolves, the crew still suffer the wounds they had to cause to relieve thier condition.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)18:58 No.5456462
    On a roll of 03

    When the crew falls asleep, they will sleepwalk back to thier stations and continue to work. They do this for the full eight hours of sleep, and then return to thier berths before they wake up. They will perform thier duties correctly, though they will be clumsy and methodical, and make mistakes, sometimes dangerous ones, more often than normal. If questioned, they will answer in nonsense and gibberish. If anyone tries to stop them from working, they scream, calling all the other sleepwalkers in earshot to brutally attack the person to tried to stop them.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)18:59 No.5456475
    On a roll of 04

    A single daemon, dressed in jodhpurs and a red jacket, riding atop a daemonic steed, appears on the ship. He charges around until he meets a crewmember. Upon meeting one, he asks them to join the hunt. If they say no, he kills them without hesitation in a most gruesome fashion. If they say yes, they join the hunt. They must pose the same question to any crewmember they meet, and kill them if they refuse to join. If they don't kill those who refuse, they are permanently out of the hunt, and must be killed by other huntsmen, or killed by the daemon. When all the crewmembers are dead or part of the hunt, the daemon will collect the skulls of the dead and disappear.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:02 No.5456507
    You have 100 of these?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:04 No.5456533

    I have four more of my own, but I'll wait to see if people will add content before I post. I don't like to post those by other authors even though I have some saved from the last time this thread came up (about three months ago).
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:07 No.5456561
    only then did the heavily muscled ganger notice the twelve shadows that had been trailing him.

    "watcha want?" he leered, hands fingering towards his stub-automatic.

    The twelve men moved silently towards the lone mohawked underhiver.

    "hey-" he reached for his side-arm, but twelve hands were quicker. The ganger knew when to fight and when to run, and if neither option was available, when to talk

    "whoah... hey now" he stepped back slowly, but the twelve quickened their pace.

    "hey chum... I-"

    "heretic" spoke one of the twelve.

    "what?" They had now cornered him in an alley, and begin to surround the ganger. He was itchin' to waste one of them but knew that even if he did, the other 11 would still be standing.

    one of the twelve grabbed him roughly by the collar. "Heretic"

    The ganger saw the Inquisitorial seal hanging from the man's neck. He was in deep shit now. Just stay calm and do what they tell you, he thought.

    The twelve began chanting in unison

    what the frag was going on?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:08 No.5456573
    "Hey man I-"
    "SHUT UP, YOU HERETIC" the butt of a boltgun slammed into the underhiver's jaw, sending him sprawling towards the ground. He reached for his stub-automatic but an iron shod boot stomped his hand.
    The twelve then descended upon him like waste-vultures, tearing at his body, ripping off his clothing

    "wha-" every time he tried to speak a fist greeted his mouth. A balled up rag was stuffed in his mouth as, watching with horror, he saw the men began to unbuckle their pants.

    "Heretic!!!" one screamed as he began to violently jerk his exposed member. He was soon joined by the rest of the dozen, one hand on their member, another pinning down the helpless ganger's naked, muscular body.
    He could feel a probing through his mohawk, to his horror one of the men had stuck his penis in there. He saw the Inquisitorial "I" tattood down it's sizeable length.



    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:17 No.5456669
    Everyone on the ship no longer gets any nourishment from the rations. They can eat and eat but they simply starve. Until something happens and one realises that he can feed on human flesh and be saved from starvation.

    All hell breaks loose.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:26 No.5456752
    Roll of 06
    Everyone skin turns green and toughness increases by 10, but their fel and int drop by 10. Money loses its value, and "teef" become the only way to pay the crew. Fights break out because each of the crew member claims he or she is the "biggest." The crew can also fix any problem on the ship with just tape and wood.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:31 No.5456807
    Roll of 07
    Every gains a pair of cherubs on their shoulders. One encourages bad things like stealing, the other encourages good things like sharing. The crew must make a WILL test to act on their own, otherwise if they fail they listen to the little blue guys. If they fail on an even number they do good, and on odds do bad.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:32 No.5456816
    Everyone's gender inexplicably switches for 1d100 hours. During this time former-males behave uncharacteristically submissive and former-females behave uncharacteristically dominant.
    the mental effects linger 1d10 days after the physical effects disapear.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:34 No.5456844
    Sensors suddenly light up in parts of the ship long since forgotten. A random part of the ship long since abandoned is suddenly operational, clean and has that new-spaceship smell. The dislocated inhabitants of that area however are none to pleased...
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:46 No.5456971
    The ghostly image of several greater demons runs screaming down the hall. Moments later, the visage of Leman Russ chases after them, laughing and swinging his weapon.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:52 No.5457031
    Sound refuses to travel until the ship drops out of the warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)19:56 No.5457073
    All the crewman except grow a third eye in the middle of their forehead. Its entirely useless save for the fact that while it is open the person cannot see any mutants, including the navigator.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:01 No.5457114
    A massive, grizzled old man in ornate power armour appears on the bridge, looking VERY confused. He holds a massive power sword in one hand, and is holding the heads of several eldar in the other. He looks at the crew and opens his mouth to say something, but dissapears before he is able.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:03 No.5457134
    Is he also revving up his bike?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:05 No.5457147
    Every crewmember starts to hallucinate that everyone they see is a succubus. And they somehow remember that the only way to banish one is to rape them.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:08 No.5457172
    Dicks. Everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:14 No.5457243
    The Stranger did not have a bike that you could see
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:16 No.5457260
    Despite the fact that the gravity plating is working fine, the gravity on the ship is non existent in some places or stronge enough to breack bone in others or anything in between. These pockets of different gravity are also moving through the ship in seemingly random directions at seemingly random times. Also, this only seems to affect organic matter; the ship's hull and other systems work normally, as well as every one's equipment.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:16 No.5457265
    Every female crewmember becomes pregnant at the same time, despite any contraceptive measures up to a total hysterectomy. The child is totally normal, no accelerated development or signs of mutation, though it is of uncertain parentage.

    The horror is in the reactions to this. Do the female crewmembers want these kids or not? Are they considered heretical and attacked? Do they defend themselves, and do some of the crew help? Maybe someone decides that they are carrying children of the Emperor? And so on...
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:18 No.5457272
    Every crewmember has thier mind randomly swapped with another crewmember. They keep thier skills, but have the stats of the new body.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:20 No.5457283
    Lots of sex and gender bending in this thread.
    >> That one Techpriest 08/14/09(Fri)20:21 No.5457290
    rolled 5 = 5

    Fuck this shit, going for it.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:21 No.5457296
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    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:22 No.5457301
    Welcome to /tg/
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:28 No.5457347

    It's like /d/ but you get to roll dice
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:30 No.5457368
    A disaster strikes the ship. Explosions, noxious gasses are released, whatever it is leaves behind a lot of corpses. Within a few hours, the dead crewmen are reincarnated in thier bunks, but the corpses are still there. From now on, any of the crew who die come back, and the ship is filling up with corpses.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:34 No.5457392
    The PC's notice a cewmember they haven't seen before in their section, psyniscience tests can be made by everyone (half for those that don't have it) that will have succeeding players think something is odd about the person.

    He stays with the ship, and disappears next time the ship docks/goes to port.

    If perfect psynisience rolls are made the crew member will be revealed to be inhuman. If his/her mind is read without his knowing, he/she is revealed as inhuman and the mind-reader takes 1d10 insanity points and 1d5 corruption.

    If confronted he will run away/escape, and literally vanish the second he is out of sight, this includes if he is captured.

    If confronted in real space he will try to escape by mundane means and mundane violence.

    Alternatively, characters with currently banished daemonic nemeses might have this be one of them.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)20:49 No.5457515
    All characters now have a psy rating of 1 and all psykers gain another level for as long as they're still in the warp. Weaken veil is constantly in affect. Every one will cast a random minor power every 1d10 hours, or discipling power if the character knows it.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:27 No.5457841
    Everyone ages backwards for the duration of the ships time in the warp. This will mostly go unnoticed unless its a looooong trip.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:38 No.5457925
    Everyone suddenly gets one gallon of delicious nacho cheese.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:39 No.5457944
    on a roll of 69 sexual organs begin to grow all over the body.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)21:55 No.5458081
    The machine-spirits become active-and talkative. Anyone wishing to activate a device of any kind must beg, threaten or negotiate with the resident spirit.

    everyone's thoughts are vocalized, spoken softly in the thinker's own voice for everyone to hear.

    the dead don't die. those killed rise to walk again. Their personalities and memories are perfectly intact, but they may not be keen on leaving the warp and dying permanently...
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:00 No.5458138
    Suddenly, from every speaker on the ship:
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:03 No.5458170
    OH SH-
    >> Official /tg/ Rater !VUIMsc4bZc 08/14/09(Fri)22:05 No.5458181
    After extensive reading and research of Dark Heresy as well as three separate sample games with various level of GM skill, I have decided to rate this game...

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:06 No.5458196
    You are hereby declared Trollus Minisculus. Begone from this place.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:12 No.5458236
    Your homeworld now marked for routine sterilization and colonization.
    >> Official /tg/ Rater !VUIMsc4bZc 08/14/09(Fri)22:14 No.5458249
    I gave it a fair trial.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:15 No.5458257
    And we just gave you one. Prepare to burn.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:17 No.5458279
    A plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time! Guilty.
    >> REAL Official /tg/ Rater 08/14/09(Fri)22:18 No.5458284
    What makes you so "official"
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:20 No.5458296
    Infighting runs rampant as everyone aboard the ship suddenly starts to suspect that everyone else on board is a heretic and only they are capable of administering justice.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:20 No.5458299
    well judging by >>5458236 he is now officially screwed
    >> Official /tg/ Rater !VUIMsc4bZc 08/14/09(Fri)22:24 No.5458336
    What is this, a role play thread? At least role play something good, like AD&D version 3.0

    The mods of course!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:25 No.5458349
    'Tis a bad engine really, but the awesome setting makes up for it by far.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:27 No.5458367
    Everyone's clothes suddenly start to itch. Removing the garments ends the itching immediatly, but no clothes may be worn without causing the covered area to itch incessently for the duration of the ships time in the warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:28 No.5458379

    has anyone tried using a different system then?

    What about BESM? That might work better.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:30 No.5458403
    >What is this, a role play thread? At least role play something good, like AD&D version 3.0

    Waaaaay too obvious.
    >> REAL Official /tg/ Rater 08/14/09(Fri)22:32 No.5458428
    Troll rating: 3/10; would argue again at first but catch myself before I rage.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:37 No.5458460
    i lol'd.

    ??) The ship crashes into a space hulk in warp space.
    ??) Arrives at destination before they left.
    ??) Arrives at wrong destination. Could be the next star over, could be other side of the galaxy.
    ??) Geller field fails completely due to apparent sabatoge. Generator repairs cannot be completed any faster then 72 hours. Ship and warp acts like field is still there, and nothing bad happens to ship or crew. In fact the navigator reports that the course is now suddenly clearer and you will reach your destination in two days. Is this a act of the Emperors blessing, or some other, darker, power?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:38 No.5458478
    Random crewmembers are having their possessions going missing and finding them in the lockers/pockets/rooms/whatever of other crewmembers.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:41 No.5458503
    Crew member's food goes bad on their plates and everything they try to drink turns to bile as soon as it enters their mouths. If you drink / eat anything in 1d10 hours gain 1 corruption point.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 08/14/09(Fri)22:41 No.5458504
    The shit quality control and massive amount of errata is killing it for me. I agree it could use some fixing, been working on my own rules.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:41 No.5458506
    daemons appear throughout the ship.

    They behave like ordinary crewmembers and passengers.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:41 No.5458508
    Everyone suddenly finds that all the boots onboard are left footed. Whats worse, everyone seems to have 2 right feet! Agility penelties ensue.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:42 No.5458515
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    Really? I've always liked the system.

    D100 isn't perfect, but I've felt it's far from terrible.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:43 No.5458524
    Teeth don't grow like that bro.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:44 No.5458536
    I lol'd

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:47 No.5458561
    Strange piping music echoes from everywhere in the ship. No one can identify the source. No penalties, but its right creepy and keeps everyone on edge.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:50 No.5458578
    Gain 1 insanity point every hour for 1d10 hours?
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:50 No.5458580
    a pod of what looks like whales swim past in the warp, and without the geller field up, the crew can hear the telepathic songs they sing. It's a shock to most, but actually quite nice to listen to.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:56 No.5458643
    If the players have read some Lovecraft, tell them that the one identifiable sound out of it is, roughly, "tekeli-li".
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)22:57 No.5458654
    Everyone suddenly switches basic body shape with someone else on board. A fat, short male seargent may suddenly find himself with the same basic outline of a tall, lithe crewswoman and viceversa.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:03 No.5458711
    All of the doors suddenly lead to places where they didnt used to. This means a lot of travel through the underused parts of the ship as new routes need to be plotted out.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:09 No.5458763
    Everyone on board the ship sees how their lives would have gone in a better world. A world where the Emperor still lives, or Slaanesh never happened, or the world of Brighthammer 40K, or whatever have you. And they know that this world is real, and that they will never, ever be able to live in one like it.

    Then move on to showing each of them how their lives would have been had they made some specific choice that would have improved things. Force each of them to see every last failed opportunity they've ever had, even the ones they didn't realize were failures. And to know that it's far too late to ever fix things.

    Incidentally, if you actually have some sort of Chaos incursion on board, they get affected as well. They don't take knowledge of their failures in life very well.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:14 No.5458806
    Suddenly rats! Thousands of them!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:46 No.5459105
    Everyone on board loses all their corruption points and mutations. Even any invaders. Even the Navigator.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/14/09(Fri)23:48 No.5459119

    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:52 No.5459149
    Everyone suddenly becomes incapable of understanding anyone elses speech. It all sounds like incoherent babbling.

    Everyone suddenly forgets how to walk.

    Everyone suddenly forgets how to read.

    The opperation of some mundane, common object suddenly becomes a mystery for everyone on board and defies understanding. for example, if its a lasgun, no one can figure out how to maintain and fire it, nor can they figure it out. If its a lightbulb no one can figure out how it works or how to turn it on or off.

    Brain damage suddenly begins to heal at a remarkable rate, causing servitors and cogboys to malfunction as their organic brain bits start growing into and rejecting the mechanical implants.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:55 No.5459176
    That sounds outrageously dangerous!
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:56 No.5459184
    A prestine colony ship from the golden age of technology pulls up along side the ship. No matter how hard anyone tries though, no technology or survivors gained from the ship, not even notes taken or memorized by a techpriest, survive the trip back into real space.
    >> Anonymous 08/14/09(Fri)23:58 No.5459210
    "Wait... I'm no longer aflicted by the taint of chaos! Oh praise the emperor a second chance! The mistakes I've made... no longer! I will give my life to the imperium! Chaos marine I am no longer! Look out Imperium! Here I -" CRASH
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:00 No.5459220
    Everyone loses one random sense for 1d10 days. The moment they regain that sense, they lose another one. This repeats 1d10 times.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:06 No.5459286
    Everyone aboard's blood flows quicker, veins bulge with excess blood and their skulls starts to itch as a voice echoes through their heads screaming blood for the blood god... skulls for the skull throne... roll 1d100 on a roll of 01-10 all their veins explode sending a shower of blood everywhere on a roll of 91-100 their skulls tear out of their bodies and fly around the room laughing.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:08 No.5459307
    The ship you're on collides with another ship. Roll to determine the type of ship. Races which do not travel via the Warp are exempt. The two ships are not significantly damaged, but they have flowed together during the collision and are now inseparable.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!IkBm+qsTaW7 08/15/09(Sat)00:09 No.5459315
    You encounter a Chaos Space Marine Battle Barge in the Warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:11 No.5459331
    All organic matter turns into SNAKES!
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:15 No.5459353
    Everones interest level shifts over one 4chan image board, alphabetically. So if someones primary interest was in weapons before (/k/), they are now obsessed with big robots (/m/).

    Hopefully there arent any anime lovers or cuteloving people in the 41st millenium.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:22 No.5459389
    Everyone forgets everyone's name. Including their own. All records and personal effects which would contain this information seems to be missing the names until the ship drops out of warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:22 No.5459390
    Any attempt to speak results in assorted detritus - shreds of paper, loose screws, small insects, animal bones, shell casings - to flow from the speaker's mouth like a waterfall. Only sentences phrased as a prayer to the Emperor are exmept.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:26 No.5459421
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:27 No.5459428
    The air suddenly smells... different...
    Everyone percieves the smell as something else. Some pleasent, some repugnant. No matter what they smell though, its pervasive and unescapable.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:29 No.5459449
    rolled 41 = 41

    I FAIL
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:30 No.5459450
    Everyone's eyes instantly rot out of their heads, leaving the raw sockets or are replaced by pure black liquid orbs.

    No other effects, vision remains intact.
    >> parabolic:superHERO !!HfL9M9xslOG 08/15/09(Sat)00:30 No.5459451
    everyone gains synaesthetic ESP.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:31 No.5459455
    Which is 41? We kinda stopped numbering them.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:33 No.5459464
    Everyone suddenly believes that standard protocol is that clothing is optional.

    Everyone suddenly believes that standard protocol calls for formal dress for all ocassions
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:33 No.5459471
    Everyone suddenly grows a massive, unhidable errection. Especially the women.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:37 No.5459496
    this (>>5459105) is #41
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:38 No.5459506
    Oh. Looks like he's fucked then.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:39 No.5459519
    Suddenly, Kokomo plays all over the ship for 2d10 hours.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:40 No.5459522
    rolled 15 = 15

    Ah Fucker, I don't even remember what happens if the Navigator loses his mutations D<
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:40 No.5459526
    people begin physically mutating based on their personality traits.

    nWoD changeling in space.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:40 No.5459527
    >>5459506 I refer you to >>5459210
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:41 No.5459534
    He's no longer a psyker so the ship goes off course and... BOOM! plus no more astropaths, so no communication
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:41 No.5459535
    He becomes incapable of perceiving the Astronomicon. They are adrift in the Warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:43 No.5459547
    How many do we have?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:43 No.5459551
    rolled 16 = 16

    So everything gets sucked into its own asshole?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:44 No.5459564
    pretty much.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:45 No.5459569
    58 so far
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:47 No.5459593
    Lets keep it up guys.
    Combustion ceases all over the ship. Nothing will ignite or explode. The ship otherwise functions normally.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:49 No.5459607
    Crewmwmbers skin tone shifts around, changing tone every now and again.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:50 No.5459622
    Everything becomes more saturated in color, shadows are pitchdark and impossible to see through an lights are a burning white when looked directly at.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:50 No.5459627
    Nobody blinks.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:52 No.5459638
    When left alone for more than a minute or two, a person finds themselves surrounded by realistic apparitions of everyone they have ever killed. These take no hostile action, merely watch the individual in silence.
    >> Khrrck 08/15/09(Sat)00:54 No.5459662
    Ship emerges from the Warp at the exact spot where it left.

    Ship's onboard gravity reverses direction every 30 seconds.

    All dead organic material on board ship comes back to life. Cloth puts down roots and leaves, fur or leather begins to crawl about, etc.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:55 No.5459665
    Everyone experiences immense gastrodigestional stress and the ship's waste disposal system cant keep up.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)00:57 No.5459681
    The DM pulls out a copy of FATAL and tells the party that it turns out they're heading to a Feral World.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:00 No.5459718
    Everyone (or a large number of people) on board falls desperately in love with someone else on board. They are too afraid to confess their feelings, but also suffer from paranoid jealousy and construe practically any interaction between the object of their affection as evidence of an affair and either become depressed or enraged.

    Also, none of these feelings are mutual. Nobody's love reciprocates.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:01 No.5459723
    rolled 50 = 50

    The pressure fluctuates greatly inside the ship at random spots, hilariously splattering people as they go into vacuums hidden along the ship.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:01 No.5459725
    The ship suffers catastrophic systems failure and is on the verge of destruction when a Craftworld translates out of the Webway, drags the ship to Realspace, and returns to the Webway without communication.
    Just give them something to wonder about.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:01 No.5459726
    *between the object of their affection and someone else
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:05 No.5459771
    Each person suddenly becomes the physical ideal of someone else on board.
    Again, there is no reciprication.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:06 No.5459777
    A demon appears on board the ship and "RETURN THE SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAB OR SUFFER MY CONSEQUENCES" is heard over the speaker system of the entire ship. Until the PCs can find the slab and return it to the demon the ship is cursed.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:06 No.5459785
    Everyone slowly turns inside out.

    There are no drawbacks
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:10 No.5459823
    Everyone on board suddenly feels certain that their wife/girlfriend/significant other/whomever they hold most dear in this grimdark universe is having an affair, and realize that they are trapped in the warp, unable to stop it.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:12 No.5459846
    Each person finds themselves speaking in such away that not only are they rhyming, but every sentence begins with the letters progressing in alphabetical order.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:14 No.5459862
    Gee, sure is Slaanesh in here tonight.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:15 No.5459865
    Everybody turns short and orange.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:16 No.5459882
    Everyone rerolls hair and eye colors.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:19 No.5459914
    Everyone rerolls height and weight
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:19 No.5459916
    Breast Size increases by 3 cups.

    No exceptions. even the males.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:20 No.5459924
    Select a random crewmate. Everyone on board suddenly looks and sounds just like them.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:21 No.5459935
    Everyone on board is afflicted with a curse that remains active as long as they are on that vessel - Every time they say something, or someone / something else says something to them, it will be interpreted as the exact opposite of what is actually being stated.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:21 No.5459936
    gotta represent the various aspects of chaos, after all

    Everybody develops genital warts.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:22 No.5459953

    Ensign Gary.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:28 No.5460003
    All males grow a single perfect left breast. All females grow a row of 6 additional breasts.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:32 No.5460044
    Get some more Tzeentch in here!

    Everyone's hair turns neon and grows 1' every 1d6 hours for 1d20 hours.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/15/09(Sat)01:34 No.5460056
    rolled 1 = 1

    Everybody has to go to the bathroom at exactly the same time.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:35 No.5460063
    The changer of ways has his way with this ship.
    Everyone rerolls their attributes.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:39 No.5460100
    All crewmen will enter an irreversible berserker rage if they get even a single drop of blood on their skin. If they have killed everything nearby, they will actively search for more victims. They will not use any weapons at all.
    >> Khrrck 08/15/09(Sat)01:44 No.5460145
    All weapons on board the ship are posessed and will fire at random 1 to 15 second intervals until running out of ammo. This includes mounted weapons on the ship and any onboard vehicles.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:45 No.5460152

    At the same time, all women on board start menstruating simultaneously.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:45 No.5460158
    Everyone develops an inexplicable connection with the Omnissiah. Everyone understands everything about all the technology around them for 1d100 seconds then immediatly forgets it.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)01:49 No.5460180
    Everyone has an intense connection with their clothes, who they now realize have intense, deep feelings. They all strip and go into in depth conversations, forgetting about whatever they were doing for 1d20 hours.
    >> Belisarius 08/15/09(Sat)01:59 No.5460254
    All burnable material(hair, cloths, paper, etc.) ignites.for 2d6 seconds. Afterwards, all fire on the ship inexplicatly vanishes.

    Fire can be extinguished but will reignigite on a even roll of any even sided die.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:13 No.5460383
    Everyone develops an odd facination with how things taste. How does that pipe taste? How does that rat taste? How does that electrical socket taste?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:16 No.5460408
    Everyone's teeth turn snaggly and everyone begins speaking with a voice that can only be described as extra-heretical and extra-annoying.
    >> parabolic:superHERO !!HfL9M9xslOG 08/15/09(Sat)02:18 No.5460424
    >Everyone's teeth turn snaggly and everyone begins speaking with Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:19 No.5460441
    Each person begins to speak a different language, and no two people speak the same one.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:20 No.5460449
    More like cultist-chan, amirite?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:21 No.5460461
    Everyone becomes ravenously thirsty, to the point of madness and will drink anything liquid they come across.
    >> parabolic:superHERO !!HfL9M9xslOG 08/15/09(Sat)02:22 No.5460467
    this sounds like some kind of terrible hentai plot.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:26 No.5460498
    Think about the people who refuel the vehicles. Also, once the readily availiable liquids run out, it wont take long to figure out that Brother Joebob has delicious liquid blood running through him.

    Or yeah, it could just devolve into /d/'s watersports paradise and house of pies
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:37 No.5460579
    Everyone on board is paired up at random and placed into the same body. The extra bodies disappear.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:38 No.5460586
    the staple food substance of the ship suddenly develops halucenagenic properties.

    Everyone finds themselves unable to communicate anyway but through song

    Everyone develops a preference for bright, garish, clashing colors.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:42 No.5460622
    All friction dissappears
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:43 No.5460639
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    Then FUTUREMAN appears to compliment their fashion sense and turn the entire ship into an enormous spacegoing rave.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:47 No.5460665
    The ship becomes organic. Every single metal object becomes fleshy, of varying color. Voxs speak with crude mouths, control panels are layers of eyes that one has to stab with their finger to input commands. Cargo containers all becomes bone or chitin, door ways become soft muscle rings, passages look like intestines.

    The function of the item is not changed at all, and the use is pretty much the exact same, but is still creepy, because using a data-slate can end up with the slate leaping out of your hands and crawling down the corridor, because it got tired of you poking it repeatedly.

    Objects not made of metal are not effected.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:50 No.5460688
    Strange weather patterns begin forming inside the ship.

    All traditional forms of entertainment aboard the ship stop being entertaining. New methods must be discovered.

    How many are we up to now?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)02:58 No.5460734
    Everyone's sexual orientation is inversed
    Everyone suddenly belives crossdressing is standard operating proceedure.
    Everyone (even the males) has the urge to get pregnant as soon as possible.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:02 No.5460756
    Everyone gets the uncontrollable urge to hoard any and all small objects. People begin stealing from each other to increase their own hoard.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:02 No.5460757

    Somebody's been playing Saya no Uta, hasn't he?
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:26 No.5460934
    Whenever anyone blinks they fall in love with the first thing they see.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:29 No.5460959
    "Oh "Cleaning and Maintaining your Juicer" book, you're everything I've needed in my life"
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:37 No.5461002
    People are convinced statues have started moving when, and only when, no one is watching.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:39 No.5461024
    Everyone grows beards and starts trying to mine for admantium. There is widespread panic at the mention of elephants.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:44 No.5461077
    Two cats appear on board. A short time later...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:49 No.5461113
    The lag makes the ship slow down so much it starts going in reverse. It gets back to the planet it left from before it left.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:53 No.5461152
    The ship drops out of warp outside holy terra during the horus herresy, before they can do anything, the ship is swalled once more by the warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:57 No.5461181
    >starts trying to mine

    Reminds me of a past thread discussing the primitives that sometimes live in the bowels of larger imperial ships. They have a industrial revolution, and begin mining the ship for metal. Just dont mine too far in the wrong direction...

    *Dink* *Dink* *Dink* *Dink* *Di-HULL BREACH*
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)03:57 No.5461184
    We're up to 110. Good job guys. Mission Accomplished. Someone make sure to archive this.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:03 No.5461227
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    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:17 No.5461319
    Massive acrophobia, forcing everyone to drop prone and only be able to crawl
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:17 No.5461322
    --The ship enter in a collision with a Chaos God...

    --The ship enter in a collision with the Eldar's web.

    --The ship enter in a collision with a Tyrannid Extra large ship. (captain Némo, there are tentacles there...)

    --The ship enter in a collision with a SpaceHulk.

    And so on.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:28 No.5461376
    An Eldar Warp Spider, A terminator or even Warp Crazed Snotlings from a Shocc Attack Gun...
    Or even any Teleporter using scum appears in the ship...

    Seems that the Teleporter Beam collided with the Ship's trajectory.

    The Terminator would be not such a problem...As He's an Imperial devoted Servant...But, well, as he was to teleport right on a battle field to purge some Xénos/Traitors...He may fire at will first, before seing were he is.
    Oh, he may also ask you to leave Warp and re-direct your course to bring him back to this war.

    (count lkike an Extra sub Campaign.)

    The Warp crazed Snotlings may be more sort of a "rat-catcher" sub game...

    But the Eldar Warp Spider may be typically pain in ass.

    Depend of your party.

    Inquisitor : ouch, let's purge this Xeno...
    Rogue Trader...this could be a good introduction to a Xeno ally in the party.

    BTW, Eldars dislike being in such an unstable shit as a Human Warp travling vessel...
    As those are psykers hunted by Slaanesh.
    As a result, the Warp spider may want you to leave the warp.
    But...Warp spider do have special training and may be the kind of Eldars to deal with such warp travels, so that's not that problematic, yet being in an hostile MonKheig ship full of purging-kill-cleanse tolerant guys help a lot.

    Such an Exarch/autarch may even be a shit dreadlier than the Alien from the movie.
    Powered armoured High level fighter with Powerblades, Deadspinneret and so on...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:31 No.5461399
    What appears to be a space hulk is revealed to be a long-lost ship of the Iron Men, who will actively repel organic borders and are unconcerned about opening the ship to Warpspace in the process.
    Daemons may or may not be present and ignoring the robots for their lack of tasty souls the same way the robots ignore the daemons.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:32 No.5461405
    >>5461376An Eldar Warp Spider, A terminator or even Warp Crazed Snotlings from a Shocc Attack Gun...

    warp crazed Warp Spider shot out of a Shokk Attack gun
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:32 No.5461410
    The Doctor's (Doctor who ?) Tardis appears somewhere...
    Rose is such a bitchy beauty...
    The Battle Sisters in the ship turn even more lesbian for her.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:33 No.5461420
    A Hive Tyrant appears.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:35 No.5461439
    They don't teleport...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:38 No.5461463
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    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:39 No.5461470
    Seriously this can be great shit.

    I mean, you expect Daemons or mutations, even warp inducted phantasmagoria...
    But not this.

    Brother Lucius form the Salamanders ?
    a band of warp crazed Possessed Snotlings ?

    Or an Eldar war half god as deadly as clever...This one can go into such a killing spree...

    Exarch or even Autarch must be quite awesome in Dark Heresy, even more if from Warp Spider aspect...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:40 No.5461482
    Warp spiders are so badass! They wear generators meant to send them to HELL and rip them back out only to do it again to get out of trouble.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:43 No.5461519
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    What's this shit ? A Xeno scum, kill it, kill it...oh sh
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:53 No.5461598
    I don't think so...
    All those shit about breasts, dickgirls and sexe swap do not count.
    Just put the D1000 mutation table from old Realms of Chaos, and Slaanesh Reward table too and you put a lot of those shitty events to rubish.

    The thing is to put an event that bring a good Roleplay experience, or a random encounter/subplot like stuff...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:54 No.5461604
    >>5461482They wear generators meant to send them to HELL and rip them back out only to do it again to get out of trouble.

    I like that the Eldar use a more dangerous jumppack equivalent than orks.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:56 No.5461629
    warp spiders carry around a giant gun who's sole purpose is to kill you in the meanest way possible.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:57 No.5461638
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    Blood for the Blood God !

    Lots of old drawfag's meme here.
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 08/15/09(Sat)04:57 No.5461642

    If you count the Mek's warpgun, then Eldar use Ork weaponry to move around.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:57 No.5461646
    Well not really, they're trained in their use and experts in their fields so There's not much danger. Orks just sort of weld shit together, toss out a WAAAGH! and are on with their day of killin shit and bonkin' da boyz.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:58 No.5461658
    Harlequins have the lead for meanest killings in war. Dark elfdar have it beat with the Haemonculi outside of war with their torture chambers and somesuch.
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 08/15/09(Sat)04:59 No.5461666
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    Eldar are fuckin orky
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)04:59 No.5461671
    >>5461642If you count the Mek's warpgun, then Eldar use Ork weaponry to move around.

    Orks: "itsa danjerous wepon, only snotlings are dumb enuff to go in da tunnel"
    Eldar: "it saves time and gas"
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:01 No.5461676
    Fluff wise, the Warp spider pack is safier than Ork's Jet-propulsor-in-the-ass.

    Untrained Eldars would be swalloved directly by Slaanesh...

    But Warp Spiders do use special Psyk trainning.
    They may put their soul inside a special Spirit-stone device, blank their mind and so on...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:01 No.5461687
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:02 No.5461689
    DeathSpinner and Arlequin's Kisser almost use the same Technology...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:03 No.5461701
    3rd edition codex :
    Pulse Lazer : 1d3 shoots.
    Scatter laser : 1d6 shoots.

    Typically Orkish rule.

    And the long ears too.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:04 No.5461711
    That's what I was saying, if an untrained eldar tried on the jump pack then they would be subjected to horrors beyond compare. They would become soulless hulls of their former selves. Liek the old saying, do not ask an eldar a question, for he will give you three horrifying answers, all of them are true.
    >> Official /tg/ Rater !VUIMsc4bZc 08/15/09(Sat)05:05 No.5461716
    Dark Heresy.

    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:05 No.5461720
    Death jesters viral toxins. worst way to die, a neurotoxin on razorblades that dig into you then cause you to rupture and explode.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:08 No.5461738

    hey, eldar are the only guys in the galaxy with guns that shoot little blades.

    Thats shooty AND choppy right there.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:08 No.5461742
    Do "teleporter field" still exist in Dark Heresy setting ?

    what was the name...displacer field ?

    you know, a protective field that teleport you one step aside to dodge shoots...

    Also, a teleporting party may get such an incident and get teleported in a Warp traveling vessel too...

    Shit is so cash.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:18 No.5461821
    Why did I think of Vikings?
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 08/15/09(Sat)05:23 No.5461864

    Yeah displacer field.

    Like that malleus inquisitor from one of the the Kain novels
    Damn that was a good book
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)05:30 No.5461906
    Race who only use short timed warp jumps are allowed, it's even the most plausible choice...
    Shit like Tau or Squats...er...Demiurgs....
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:41 No.5464423
    Surprised this thread is still alive.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)10:41 No.5464434
    You bastard...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)12:15 No.5465159
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    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)12:26 No.5465240
    Anyone an inquisitor investigates will begin to be corrupted by the warp. This counts even if they are most loyal citizen on the whole ship. Everybody the inquisitor suspects for even a second will start to have warp-induced nightmares.

    The only way to end the infestation is to kill all inquisitors, though they might disagree.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)12:29 No.5465263
    A massive albino tyranid hiveship collides with the vessel. Tyranid organisms invade the vessel, killing thousands of crewmembers and near fatally injuring the captain. He recovers, and vows revenge on the beast, ignoring all orders to desist and going rogue.
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)12:58 No.5465505
    Everyone with now ability as a psyker enters a comma. Psykers find that they are unable to move; and thus have to stay alive, communicate, and maintain the ship via their powers...
    >> Anonymous 08/15/09(Sat)12:58 No.5465511
    >> Belisarius 08/15/09(Sat)13:10 No.5465639
    A teleporting unit suddenly appears on the bridge. (e.g. terminators, warp spiders, grey knights, etc.) They are completely surpised at their arrival.

    Warp spiders are considered nutz by eldar standards. Makes me wonder why there isn't a warp spider exarch.

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