>Exactly one year from now, all statues will come to life>Few know this. You are one of the few.
>>53745725Does a stick figure made out of clay and then baked count as a statue?Do the statues retain the memories and personalities of the people they represent?Will I be able to stop this epidemic with a sledgehammer/other tools, or will the pieces come to life on their own?
>>53745768>Does a stick figure made out of clay and then baked count as a statue?The more life-like the statue, the more powerful and intelligent it will be. Clay stick-men may come to life, but they might have the mobility and intelligence of slugs.>Do the statues retain the memories and personalities of the people they represent?The personalities of the statues will be influenced by their outer form, but you don't really know how, or to what extent.You do know that they will feel more loyal to their creators and their kin.>Will I be able to stop this epidemic with a sledgehammer/other tools, or will the pieces come to life on their own?A hammer could be highly effective, but many of these statues are now under guard by some mysterious organization.
>>53745873What about statues that are a single piece composed of multiple people, like the Pieta?What about damaged statues?If I make a statue AFTER the initial transformation, will it be alive like the others or no?
>>53745725would lead to interesting times in certain parts of the world... imagine hordes of 50-foot Buddhas rampaging through eastern Asia. Not to mention pic related
I'd move to a country with few to no statues.
>>53745902>What about statues that are a single piece composed of multiple people, like the Pieta?Each person will come to life. They may remain stuck together depending on the statue.>What about damaged statues?Depends. Something like the Venus de Milo would come to life and be mostly functional.>If I make a statue AFTER the initial transformation, will it be alive like the others or no?Unclear at this time.
>live as a white person in the south>the only statues are Robert E. Lee, Jesus, and for some reason satan in birminghamI think I'll be okay. There will be some minor statue fights, but the Jesus Statues outnumber the Satan statues, and Robert E. Lee will mostly be trying to fight in the north.
I spend the next year training as hard as possible to be the next Pygmalion.
So ISIS was /ourguys/ all along?
>>53745996eh, how much of a sculptor would you become with a year of training? I mean, would you want to fall in love with some half-assed amateur statue?
>>53746113There is inherent beauty in the faults and flaws of sculpture, and the artist (usually) has admiration for their own work. Being a subpar sculptor is a small price to pay for having a loving waifu created by your own hands.
>>53745725No one tell the hot gluing community.
BRB, buying all the clothing mannequins I can find.When the change happens, I'll have my private harem already.
>>53745725>exactly one yearGregorian or julian calendar?
It has to be destroyed.
>>53746511>it has to be destroyed>Not /k/'s dream come true.
There's only one way to be certain that me and mine stay safe.
>>53745725But can I fuck them?
>>53746511>It has to be destroyed.why? that's not a statue, it's a sculpture
>>53746596If a statue is just a sculpture of a person , is a sculpture of the nature of man not a statue?
>>53746752are you saying that the nature of man is a cube of weapons? anyway, the creators of the thing call it a sculpture.
And so we go to war.
How many points are they worth?
>>53745725Guys we have a problem
Invest stock into tool companies
>>53745725Better get to work!
>>53747115Arrived at this thread to post this.
>>53745906>rampagingI think they would keep sitting in place, but this time dispersing advice on enlightment or stil lpassively observing. They're Buddhas, after all.
>>53747138Call Rodina-Mother to deal with it
My fetishes have been getting worse and worse lately, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.
So what happens to busts and things like that? Are they just stuck as heads?
Immediately vacate any city with monuments and public art installations larger than 10'.Stay the fuck away from museum districts and metropolitan areas.Send my immediate family, ex-girlfriends and coworkers all day passes to Dinosaurs Alive! exhibits.
>>53747335They will find a body, combine with it and become an unstoppable for of marble.
>>53745725What of catacomb saints?
>>53747138The capitalist wench shall meet its match soon enough.
>>53745725Isis was right. Time for jyhad.
>>53745725Vast armies of individual, intrically-crafted Terracotta soldiers march from China to face the hosts of emperors and Jesuses from Italy.Who wins?
This is just on Earth, right?RIGHT?
>>53745725So basically I gotta be an ISIS murderhobo?
>>53747430Marble is stronger than mud, so there's really no match.
>>53746511>trying to destroy the /k/ube>implying the conduit through which all funs and violence flows can be destroyed I'd shoot you for heresy, but it'd be more funny to watch you try and destroy something made stronger through violence. Assuming of course you get past all of the /k/ubists. Them boys ain't right in the head, so for your sake I hope for a quick death.
>>53746837>are you saying that the nature of man is a cube of weaponsAre you saying it's not?
>>53747414is he made out of all the butter the norks aren't eating
>>53745725I'd comission a life sized statue of my dream woman; than I would go onto to become active member of Statue Rights movement.
>>53746511/k/ube would ascend beyond mortal realm, and Earth would be left in care of its lesser aspects
>>53745873>The more life-like the statue, the more powerful and intelligent it will be.>tfw ItalianDavid/Moses 2018 #GuessWhosBack #SculptingTheFuture #Reinassance
Lets say that someone wanted to welcome their statue overlords or fight fire with fire. What is the best material to make a statue out of that's durable, but not too heavy so the statue can support itself?
>>53747258PossiblyThis guy on the other hand
>>53747258>dispersing advice on enlightmentThe advice is to go punch thy enemy in the face, kozojeb!
I make several VHS tapes making sure people Don't BlinkThen a few years later I take all the wind out of them in a 2 parter
>You fall for your statue waifu>She ends up leaving you for Statue Chad
>>53747258>Numerous statues of Mars, Ares, and Herakles rampaging through EuropeFeels good being American where we have several giant presidents instead of rampaging war gods.
>>53747746>American presidents >aren't war gods
>>53747517I think it would be a ball of naked women and swords.
>giant bronze Mithraian bull of greed rampaging down Wall StThis makes me wet
>>53747840>the "little brave girl" gets actually smashed by the bullkek
>>53748064>implying they won't team up and fight crime
>>53747323Fuck you, I laughed.
>>53747290>they just shit talk anyone who comes near them
>>53745725>that one story arc in Gantz with the alien statuesWell fuck
>>53748112I mean the bull is mid motion and the girl is standing tall. Even if the bull wanted to stop it would run over the girl before it had time to realize she was there.
This might not actually be so bad. Not sure if this is in every city, but a lot around here have brass or bronze statues of famous writers, politicians, scientists, local heroes, stuff like that.Imagine how useful it could be to have some of the greatest or most creative minds of various parts of history, in near-immortal metal bodies.
>>53745725Good thing I'm a ceramics major.
>>53748274>It's a "country" where the largest political party is a separatist party, there are two "cultures" that are rip-offs of two better cultures from neighboring countries and their biggest cultural achievement is a statue of a pissing infantBelgium really is a non-country. Part of me believes keeping up the EU façade of diversity actually working is the only reason Belgium hasn't fallen apart. That and delusional Flemish believing Brussels is Flemish.
>>53745725Oh, so you are copying the Gantz, Italy Arc?Vey original, OP.
>>53751689Is it fair to call it an "arc" when it only lasted like 3 chapters and the protagonists had to run away?
>>53751678I'll take French speaking Belgian over French French any day of the year. If only because the prior is more likely to have bathed recently.
Warm up the van boys, we're fixin' to finesse the world's finest Hermaphroditus statues
>>53745725>Japanese figma invasion>The giant Turkish robot gundam comes to life>The Hermaphrodite statue comes to life for greek futa fun>Churchil comes to life>That trump statue comes to life>All the evil statues left to rot come to life>Evil idols come to life>Vlad's Bust in Wallachia comes to lifeFug.
>>53752247>>All the evil statues left to rot come to lifeThere will be like... couple dozens Stalins. Countless Maos. Etc.
>>53752256I meant more like the one's fat curse people, cause disease, and do really nasty thingsExcept the fucking Warhammer 40k statues and models, we're in for a wild time there, shit will be like harry potter chess.
The biggest question which could throw a curveball on this whole scenario is:Do anime figurines count as statues?
>>53747258>50 foot Buddha converting isis rebels as he wakes to life just as they are about to destroy him
>>53746184This is the saddest thing I've heard today
North Korea is going to have a hell of a power struggle.
>>53747574>life sized>not multiple fun sizedanon, the weight
>>53748064>>53748112>>53749081Let's not forget about the newest addition to the statue. And yes, that was a real addition, intentionally made ugly as possible.
>>53751778the only good french are Louisiana French-Cajuns. All others are trash.
>>53747574I keep thinking the urn is a hollowed out leg stump
>>53745725BRB, comissioning as many futa statues as possible.
>>53747414Looking at how ugly it is, I'm not surprised they're building it in the middle of nowhere.
>>53745725Invest heavily in the penis enlargement industry and become rich in a year.
>>53751778t. Butthurt belgian
>>53752560The dog was destroyed
>>53752688Nah, I just worked for both French and Belgians.
>>53747290Oh good. Insane monstrositys screaming in fear and rage.
PUSHKIN TRIED TO WARN USWE WOULDN'T LISTEN
I think that Ave Imperator would have a very real chance of inspiring the next global empire. Just imagine the 100's of millions of people who would go under the banner of Caesers Rome if the statue had his soul in it and he walked again.
>>53745725Finally, I get to live my dream of fucking Lady Liberty's tongue before being swallowed whole by her. Thank you, monkey's paw.
>>53745902>If I make a statue AFTER the initial transformation, will it be alive like the others or no?Mass production via a casting mold and cement.
>>53752256>couple dozens StalinsHundreds, even without all those that were removed. More than 6000 Lenins, too.
Forget Stalin, interesting thing is Japan would be occupied by thousands of Colonel Sanders
Are metal statues that have been melted down still statues that will come to life? There's only one equestrian statue of a Roman Emperor left - all the others were melted down for their useful metals. How many sons of Rome yet cry for vengeance due to recycling?
yeah nah, get fucked cunt
>>53752588The best type of French is French Canadian
>>53745725>Step 1: Order statue of qt3.14 future wife.>Step 2: ???>Step 3: Profit
>>53747414>Statue of communist leader>Huge>Ostentatious>GoldRight up there with mass produced Che tees in the kek zone.
>>53745725Oh man, cant wait for Warbreaker 2
>>53745725>Take the year and train everyone on earth to be like those people who pretend to be statues until someone gets close>have the statues be confused by the fact that there's no humans to fuck up, only statues that didn't wake up
>make a bunch of modernist statues of random dangerous looking bullshit>also make a statue that makes statues of other statues>and maybe also find those statues of two naked dudes Greek wrestling and watch them kill eachother
>>53747746>giant statues of presidents shitalking each other for their various policies as well as inane bullshit, disturbing everyone's day for miles around. >>53751689>>53751718What even happened to those things at the end? Did some other team eventually just deal with all of them?
>>53745725And there's like a million of these too. Presumably they'd all fight eachother to see which one is the "real" grorius leader.
>>53755906>mfw all the pharaohs of Egypt fight among themselves to decide who is the true ruler of Upper and Lower Egypt when they all were once rulers
>>53755472STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
Polish this guy every day so that when he comes to life I have a kickass flying mount.
>>53755973it's just going to wake up and want you to keep polishing its dick
>Not even talking about all the Ganesh idols
>>53752547Thicc as a bricc
Will he also bring the Scourge with him?
>commission guy to make a Quetzalcoatl statue>screw him over before he finishes the thing>he gives you something that literally looks like dog shitwhen he wakes up he is gonna be pissed.
This Hindu temple in Southern California is covered in statues of Gods that are all labeled in English.
>>53747290Finally the Rushmoore Golem will become a reality.
>>53756471Probably a good thing Crazy Horse is still unfinished.
Fun times would be had.
brb- getting forklift
>>53756464And that's just one in California. That shit is all over India.
oshit he's coming back!!!
>>53745725I sneak into the Louvre after hours on the night the statues come to life to be the first to fuck the Venus de Milo.
>space marine statue crawls out of some old junkyard to smash up the sigmarine that usurped it
>>53756532Since when was Gaun yu a god of war?Didn't he have like some sort of Buddhist enlightenment as well when a Bodhisattva or some shit found his beheaded spirit?>>53757524>the marine begins to turn to chaos.>the warp breaches realspace
>>53745725>>53747138The big question here is, will I be able to have sex with Lady Liberty?
>>53752560They destroyed that for "Modifying the intended message of the original artist"Nevermind that the little brave girl does that for the bull/
>>53755941Nah, their religion would mean the oldest one gets to be ruler.
>>53752560The pug was only there for a few hours, and was only done as a statement on how the girl perverts the original intent behind the bull sculpture, twisting it into a statement on gender politics.
>>53747115I'M ANGRYANGRY ABOUT GANTZSeriously what the fuck happened in that series? Why were aliens so interested in Earth? Why were aliens impersonating our statues and artwork? Some of them were literally folk tale gods and monsters disguised as aliens. Why? Why the fuck were there emo vampires who's leader was the brother to the main protagonist, that spoiler, is never really cleared up or explained? Are the vampires aliens? Why do the vampires make friends with Japanese folk demons?And of course, why didn't the people who mass produced the GANTZ balls(?) not just have mass produced war hardened soldiers to fight the alien invasion, and not instead rely on teenagers and old ladies to fight the invasion that did indeed fuck 2/3rds of the planets population, and I do mean fucked because there were pages dedicated to mass human gore.I still recommend this series though. Pretty good.
>mfw these two wake up and make Korea great again.
Do dragon dildos count as statues?
>>53758005Aliens were interested in Earth because it was a habitable planet and the giant aliens were fucking up the rest of the universe.Vamps, no idea.The cunts in control of the GANTZ balls stole the design from the retarded girl who knew what they were for and just used them for war games. They did actually have trained soldiers using the GANTZ machines in the war with the Giants, but they severely underestimated the Alien threat.
>the gargoyles on my apartment block will come to lifeIt's both spooky and comfy.
>>53745725I feel bad now, for all of those statues that have been defaced over the centuries, missing arms, legs, but especially all of those statues that are just a head, and nothing more.
>>53745725AVE ROMAVINI VIDI VICI
>>53745725I guess that I go and smash as many devil statues etc as possible.
>>53747337>dinosaur statuesOH GOD, IT'S WORSE THAN JURASSIC PARK!!! AT LEAST CLONED DINOSAURS CAN BLEED!
>>53751822You better treat her right.
>>53756332I don't think they get any actual powers.
>>53755476Chinese policy of talking about Mao is kind "Yeah, mistakes were made, and progresses were made, why not change the subject"
>>53751334We need to make a hundred Albert Einstein statues, as well as a hundred Leonardo DaVinci statues. Then convince them to team up for the greater good of mankind.
>>53752330Yes, now imagine all the ones that have been jizzed on taking their revenge.
>>53745725This has been a nightmare of mine for a long time.I'm living in Paris
>>53758572There will be Hector Berlioz next to my place but he'll have to fight a big ass eagle and gargoyles. Hopefuly the knight Bayard, a heroine of the 17th century and the revolutionaries of 1789 can help him.
>>53755499Isn't that the worst type?
Oh godThink of the millions of Jesuses
Is this why they're getting rid of all the Confederate statues in America?
>>53758593>implying they wouldn't just fight over who gets to be their master's true girl
>>53747746>rampaging war gods.They're gods of war. They wouldn't rampage. They would lead us to victory. Whoever came up with the meme of war gods as fucking Kratos or the Hulk needs to die.
>>53757147Just go for it. Not like she can push you off.
>>53745873>The more life-like the statue, the more powerful and intelligent it will be.So, if i make a perfect statue of a slug, it will be smart and powerful?
>>53758755They took Joan of Arc's sword too.
>>53758801Ares would. He was always just an angry shithead.Also, what about Mount Rushmore? Are there just enormous shouty heads growing out of a mountain now?
>>53758801Most of the Greek gods are pretty dickish towards humans anyway.
>>53758903They're mostly pissed that we didn't fucking finish themThe mini rushmore fares much better
I'd go to Madame Tussauds and prepare to fuck the ever living waxy shit out of every Hollywood crush I've ever had
>take a big ass loan>buy materials to make molds out of existing nice statues >buy concrete>shit out statues
>>53759033Be prepared to pay fucking $100 to get inThe Ripley's place next door is pretty lit for 30$
>>53759039>once statues are alive, they help me repay my loan trough hard work>live in peace and harmony with my statue childrens
All those hot glue bastards are gonna be a lot more busy. >Be 1.5 foot tall erotica statue>Brought to life, filled with sentience>Master keeps insisting I don't have to say anything>But that I have to eat this bowl of eggs>Why is he doing this>Is that a hot glue gun?
>>53759079>Anon, you wonderful bastard.
Claim your statuefu. Wax/plastic/woodfags need not apply. Marble and Metal are best girl
I'd start laying the groundwork for the greatest return concert in human history, and make millions
>>53747290>no arms or legsI'm not worried
>>53759153>enormous screaming facesI hope nobody lives nearby tho
>>53759111I like my women marbled, 8 feet tall, and divine
>>53759111Don't judge me. Marblefags are elitists
>>53759111>>53759237Ah yes, you partake?
>>53745725Will they be loyal to me or to the ones who made them..?
Mongolia is pretty much fucked>The good newsAfter he's finished fucking Mongolia, China and Russia will also be fucked along with a good chunk of the Middle East
>>53759322You say fucked but i'm pretty sure the guy is a national hero to them. They would be SUPER okay with this. And so would the US too since it fucks over BOTH of our major rivals at the same timeThank you giant metal Ghengis Khan
>>53759346Yeah, but he also had to kill a lot of Mongolians for a while there before they would do his bidding.
>>53759303They will be loyal to the Emperor to the end. Anything less is unbecoming of the Guard.
>>53745725>Finally, after ten thousand years I am finally free! Time to kick all the babies!
>>53746511>THE /K/UBE>IT ASSIMILATES ANY WEAPON THAT TRIES TO DAMAGE IT>AS IT ROLLS WITH A CONSTANT BOOM AS ITS SIDES POUND THE EARTHA chunk of metal born from the hate of man given life. It would be freakishly cool and absofuckingly terrifying
>>53745906>the more old the statue the more powerful it isThe Sphinxes would know of things that no motal should know.Oh hell think of THE STATUE OF LIBERTY
>>53745725At first i thought your idea was lame OP but then the tread thought about it and it was actually fucking cool.>The massive statues of heros>all the weeb figures around the worldall the controversial art and old as fuck historical statues.>all with their own style and ideas
Choose your statue waifu.
>>53759410Ghengis, he'll national hero the fucking shit out of you until you love him Khan
>>53745768>Will I be able to stop this epidemic with a sledgehammer/other toolsWhy do you want to stop this? Nobody said the statues were hostileI also haven't read this thread, so maybe they will be. WHo knows
Gather resources of everyone who knows this. Have statues of superman commissioned.Done.
I do the only reasonable thing - I call the Doctor >>53747138She would be pissed seeing the US
>>53759908>She would be pissed seeing the USI doubt it.
>>53759906Hope there are no statues to cathulu or some shit, and we are ok.
365daysThe rise of the Rotten Ronnie army hits the streets, out for revenge on those cheeky cunts taking selfies with their cock out on his forehead....and happy clown time fun, he'll fun the fuck out of you kids
>>53759817That's where I'd be at zero hour. I want to see that bull crush that kid like a grape.
>>53745725Good thing we got rid of most giga-lenin in my country. And Motherland statue (think statue of liberty in US, but slightly bigger and with ugly sword and shield) will be friendly, I hope. The rest depends on details of how they come to life.
>>53745725The main question is how angry will be statues that had their dicks chopped off or nipples removed for the sake of "morals". My bet is Vatican getting rekt.
>>53760025Despite looking like it's in full charge, the bull was made stationary, not frozen from an actual bull mid sprint.It's going to awkwardly get it's balance the moment it comes to life before likely charging into the horde of cunts with their phone cameras out right next to it rather then the suddenly scared child now probably trying it's hardest to get away.That or they recognise each other and team up to go break a few stock trader heads.
Well, it was nice knowing you guys.
Time to commission a mass of statues in that statue-farm in China,, to be delivered for the day after they all awaken...
>No matter what I try it refuses to post the pic so have a link.http://www.livius.org/articles/religion/artemis-of-ephesus/>BRB, booking a European holiday for next June.
>>53745725Buy all the anime figurines and begin my tiny, loli army.
>>53758752>Christ the Redeemer climbs down the mountain to heal Rio of its sickness
My mother has over two hundred angel statues from seed-sized crafts lining her jewlery box to 1:1 scale putto hiding in her garden.When the year is up, I'm going to go visit her just to find her, and the entire house, has been raptured.
>go around and hot glue as many statues as possible, they'll all wake up, knowing some skinny fuck with a hobo beard came on their faces.
>>53745725>mfw i can finally serve the one true queen of Scandinavia.
>>53755587Just like my exgf
>>53745725Sit back and wait. I just want to hear them complain about getting literally shit on forever
>>53756058okay where's the downside
>>53758467Could we make him Emperor of the world and have him fix politics for us? Or is it so fucked not even he could fix it now.
>>53745873Guess it's time to start learning clay sculpting.
> Drop everything and spend my time browsing art museums, statue gardens, private collections, etc.> Do nice things for statues. Clean bird shit, graffiti, etc. Read them books I think they'd like, who gives a fuck if people think I'm eccentric?> Keep doing this until staues come to life.> Become Statue Jesus and emmissary betwee human and statuekind>???> Profit?
>>53755942Uh... you do know who that is right?
>>53759667will the man answer our questions to give context to this situation's arisal?
>>53745725So what you're saying is, we have one year to create the ultimate weapon
>>53747574>ywn be the most beautiful girl in the city >so beautiful that men decide to build you a statue
>>53758903Ares would start talking shit then get btfo by Athena. I don't think ancient statues would even stand a chance vs modern ones either. It would take every statue in Greece just to fight the statue of liberty
>>53759937The poem attached to her is pointedly pro-refugee. Wouldn't care about the mexicans though.
>>53759908Nah uncle Sam would be pissed, she's trying her best.
>>53745725The middle east turns into even more of a shitfest as statues of ancient civilisations rise against ISIS to revenge their fallen kin.
>>53745725How will it goes with this one?Will they keep fighting like in the old tale?Or will they be civil with eachother?also isnt it ironic that Medusa has been turned to stone?Besides, I think I would go to the nearest Cathedral and become best friend with the locals Gargoyles and have wacky adventure with them
>>53747574These women statues are making me rock hard
>>53765331>modern US>libertyShe would torch your ass to the ground
>>53759887>Nobody said the statues were hostileBut WHY they would not be? They got plenty of reasons to be pissed.
>>53765870Do they?That assumes the stone has somehow been sapient and aware
>>53759740The statue of liberty is pretty young. I mean, I know you new-worlders have a fucked up perspective of what is old but I'm sure the Americas is full of amerindian stuff that predates USA girl by centuries.
>>53759380I doubt it, he didn't commit much atrocities against people once they were under his feet. And mongols would submit immediately.
Who here is gonna join me in becomming a literal paladin?
>>53745725>an entire year to make an army of statuesSoon.
Even if a statue were alive, you still couldn't fuck it unless it had been sculpted with a hole.
>>53745725Can I fuck them?
>>53759667>The babies are stuck to him and constantly crying
I begin carving an army of combat statues.
>>53766202Just buy a 3D printer.
>>53766004I could spoon with it or hold hands with it though, and isn't that really all that matters?I can get myself off on my own, but I can't make myself feel any less alone.
>>53747444Considering a higher resolution picture of that exact area revealed it's just mountains and not actually a face, I think we're fine.
>>53747290The greatest rendition of Billy Joel's The Longest Time ever.
>>53745725So you're saying that i sculp my waifu now, she will come to life?
>>53745873>The personalities of the statues will be influenced by their outer form, but you don't really know how, or to what extent.But most statues are neckid does that mean they will all be massive sluts?
>>53763018Considering that his Rome had the same fucking problem of corruption and greed by the rich as we do now, I believe he knows exactly how to fix it just as we do, but we are too nice to just kill the fuckers corrupting the system.
>>53758755I'm fairly sure that that has to do with Constitutional law, in that no US government office can have or be required to produce something representing a foreign government, which includes the CSA, it's why the Department of Motor Vehicles will no longer make Confederate licence plates.
>>53763795What's your point? Ned Kelly is an Australian criminal, that makes him criminal scum two times over.
>all those retarded pope sculptures in Poland
>>53768642>Every single one will misguidedly believe themselves to be both human, and the pope
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE OLMEC
>>53752556I'd rather have one big girl than multiple small ones.
>>53759380Duh, Mongolia was just a region full of a bunch of tribes warring against each other until he united it
>>53751822You can't fuck a stone vagina, a stone dick on the other hand...
If the Buddha statues aren't peaceful, well then China's fucked with how many and how big each one they have is
>>53770098>You can't fuck a stone vaginaThat's where you're wrong, kiddohttp://oglaf.com/porkchisel/
>>53770134>tfw the Taliban was doing us a favor.
>>53770098Tomo-chan is love, Tomo-chan is life.
>>53770098>You can't fuck a stone vaginaWatch me
>>53769841Oh god, that would suck.
>>53760774> sickness is the cartels
>>53745725We need gorgons.I must join the statue master race!
>>53758445>>53745725And don't forget about the whole 'de-dicking' that happened with a lot of statues. Bad enough not ot have the bits but to have the bits and then have them hammered off? Yikes!Honestly, that group alone could radicalize a large group of statues leading to statue-on-person terrorists or some shit. ADVENTURE HO!
>>53765883>Be a statue in a town square >Get shit on by birds constantly >city budget has been cut >nobody cleans off the shit >awaken to sentience after centuries of being shit on I'd take revenge on birds and man alike desu
>>53745725well... time to buy sex dolls.
Moegare! Moegare!Too bad they took it down.
>>53745725I want a cute Ganymede bf
>>53765925It's really not outside of the southwestern US, Mexico, and Peru. The natives that hadn't died out by 1776 got crushed into nothingness by 1900.
HE PREPARED HIMSELF FOR THIS DAY
>>53766543Augustus didn't try to kill the rich and he wasn't any less greedy or corrupt than the Senate. He was the richest man of all times and he ultimately would put the Republic out of his misery, making himself dictator for life instead of just being a deluded oligarch like the rest of the short-sighted senators that were to cowardly to shake up the status quo for true greatness.
>>53772250Julius, not Augustus he was part of the problem.
>>53745725And he would forgive us anyways.
>>53747138Do you think the Statue of Liberty is a fujoshi?
>>53772522What if I don't want to be forgiven? What if I want to suffer?Surely he's not going to stop me.
>Scour the earth for this thing>Talk to it, Clean it, be a general Broh>When it wakes up have a terrifying metal skeleton best friend.
>>53772778He causes you to suffer by forgiving you
>Soldiers and sailors of the Soldiers and Sailors Monument come alive They wouldn't be hostile, would they?
>>53765910What is this? A screencap for ants?
>>53745725The users of /his/ and I will go on the pilgramage to Rome and find the STONESTONES IWANTANTTOOBONEONE
>>53747138She's going to be super pissed that we let her get GREEN'D.
>>53764882it was added like a decade after the statue was made thoughso can you add stuff to statues and have it affect them?
>>53759722Can't stop it with hate.Violence is not the key.Open your heart to it.Make love to the /k/ube.
>All the statues in the Universal Studios Japan Park
>>53757827The bull was basically litter tho
>>53752280all those life size space marines carefully doled out as prizes
>>53773413I'd say it's 50/50 for angry or needing a drink
Denver fucked. It's already gotten a taste for human blood, it will kill again.
>>53760774>Breaking News: Giant Jesus statue levels Rio
>>53752280Holy shit the warhammer modelsI can picture a series being made out of it already
>>53758534It's still a huge dude wearing huge armor with a huge swordIf he had the Lich King's mindset I'd wager it would take more than the average police station can offer to take him downA lot more
>>53747658China is fucked.
>>53745902>What about statues that are a single piece composed of multiple people, like the Pieta?>What about damaged statues?
>>53747138I don't think we've got a problem at all, we got this handled.
>>53759945>He's just a regular guy who happens to look like Superman
>>53771750I - WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY TOOK IT DOWN?WHAT - WHO - WHEN - AAAAAAAA
>>53773213Fucking christ, what is this?
>Statues are waking upOh no.....
My body is ready.
Really hope there are not many statues of creatures from horror stories/movies/etc.Because that would be messed up.
>>53780577>Statues of legendary heroes, warriors, and unnamed soldiers united to fight the new horrors