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  • File : 1249235239.png-(40 KB, 603x504, 1235131063745.png)
    40 KB Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)13:47 No.5315595  
    It is time to battle the Lich, /tg/!
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)13:48 No.5315603
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)13:49 No.5315623
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)13:53 No.5315659
    i'm pulling this on my players.

    they enter the lich's sanctum, and there it is, a battle stage, undead mc and a throng of jet black skeletons to go "oohhhhhhhhhh" and "yo face" and throw gang signs.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:10 No.5315766
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    Yo, check it. Uh. Uh yeah, here we go.

    They call me DJ Phylactery, scourge of destiny master of arcane epiphany, who you fools think you are tryin to bust a cap in me? Rollin through my dungeon lookin to plunder, wizard tryin to steal my thunder its a wonder you made it past my traps at all; the spiked wall, the acid pit, I got so many minions I'm swimming in kobold shit, but my greatest weapon's my wit, and y'all bit off more'n you can chew, so draw those +3 butter knives and let me serve you!

    'Cos I drop hot rhymes like delayed blast fire, stop time when shit's down to the wire, I spit heat like a dragon, got more bling than his horde, and twice as many bitches as goblins got worgs! What'choo got? Fighter's got feats but he can't rhyme, Rogue can stab some fool's backs but he can't touch mine, Monk's got his McFlurry but it's all watered down, and Cleric's turn undead won't make me give an inch of ground! Face it, dawg, y'all is out classed. I'm strictly epic tier, ready to drop yo' paragon ass. Best go grind some XP if you hope to do well, I'm like the Temple of Elemental Evil and you ain't even been to Keep on the Shadowfell.

    Yeah, DJ Phylactery represent. Don't be hating just cos I got such a high challenge rating.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:14 No.5315801
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    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:14 No.5315807
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:18 No.5315845
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    Ohhh, PCs got SERVED something righteous!

    Who gonna step up to that?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:21 No.5315866
    Oh wow. People actually saved that image.

    I feel honoured.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:21 No.5315869
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:22 No.5315879

    The concept's amusing.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:27 No.5315923
    This is why all of the villains in my campaigns have a level in bard, or at least ranks in perform.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:30 No.5315946
    This is why I'm a Voltaire fan.
    >> - !TW2PH44COQ 08/02/09(Sun)14:39 No.5316013
    Fuck yes rapping liches.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:40 No.5316022
    I HAD a rebuttal to that impressive speech, then as soon as I submit, the page decides to refresh and I'm left with nothing.
    I hate life right now.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:41 No.5316036

    try the "back" button.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:43 No.5316056
    Typing on a PS3. No way to recover it.
    I need a real computer.
    Probably would have sucked anyways.
    >> GTVA Colossus !moot/UIi/o 08/02/09(Sun)14:46 No.5316091
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    Hell yeah people saved that, it was awesome. Also DID SOMEONE SAY LICH PIMPS? BECAUSE I THINK SOMEONE SAID LICH PIMPS
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:49 No.5316114
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    Uh, what's up, I'm known as DJ, Divine Justice I'm known, 'bout to bring the hammer down on this sack of bones, I got my crew, got my faith, and it's time for war, we gon' roll on this bitch for my boy Pelor, yo I heard all of your rhymes, the shit makes me puke, yo' minions I juked, evil 'bout to get rebuked, please remain seated while I bust my rhymes, I heard all ya lines, musta heard 'em bout a thousand times, but that's fine, long as you're ready to go up in smoke, your lair ain't nothin' but a footnote on a joke, get ready to choke, son, burn up in holy fire and yo ashes I'll toke, one, two, three, mic check, you there? It's cool, kid, not much shame in runnin' scared, cuz I'm the brains of the brawn, get set to get gone, my crew be comin' on strong, we rollin, set up shop, and straight up ball, haters always tryna make me fall, but we always make sure they end up crawl-in' away, you mothafucka's ain't got shit to say. We out.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:54 No.5316170
    OH, IT'S ON NOW.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)14:54 No.5316173
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    >> Charisma 7 Barbarian rolling a 20 !moot/UIi/o 08/02/09(Sun)14:55 No.5316178
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    Er, um, ah... at least I still have a dick. Prick.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:00 No.5316227
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:04 No.5316259
    Barbarian: You think you hot, but you rhyme's old. MC Justice has you beat hundred-fold. Don't make me mad, you wish you had stopped, gotta give you props as me axe drops. You say you big boss, you king of this place; you gonna bow when i give chase and erase you face with this mace.
    Take him home, Justice.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:07 No.5316290
    /tg/ was born in the land of lyrics where mind defies physics
    we are pure hater exterminators
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:07 No.5316293
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    Oh its on now son.

    Well look at this shit, a Paladin in my crib, thinkin he hot in his platemail bib. You walk like a giant but are hung like a gnome, and all the bitches in your crew be after MY bone. Your holy avenger's more like a tooth pick. Detect evil? Nigga try that on me and my aura'll just make you sick. I radiate evil, got more class features than soldiers in 'nam. You got your special mount? Bitch that's my name for your MOM. You got D10 HD, nigga I roll D12s, more magic than elves, more power than the hells, I'm dropping d6s like an avalanche, casting save or die spells that'll make you blanch. Face it my friend, your backs to the wall. I don't need a moral dilemma to make YOUR ass fall.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:10 No.5316332

    Oh, god, drawfags on this shizzle, please.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:13 No.5316355
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:14 No.5316368
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:16 No.5316385
    This is the best thread on /tg/ right now.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:18 No.5316397
    You could save most of your spells and have a subordinate trip him.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:19 No.5316408
    Go, go, go, go
    Go, go, go Vecna
    It's your birthday
    We gon' party like it's yo birthday
    We gon' sap souls like it's your birthday
    And you know we don't give a fuck
    It's not your birthday!
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:21 No.5316419
    f5ing like the fist of the north star

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:22 No.5316432
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    Well look at your ass hangin down out of your pelts. Actin all hard, showin off your delts. Bitch, your ass aint foolin me a bit, tryin not to be a fighter, but you might as well ragequit. Your hit die is useless when your will save's a joke. I can drop an illusion that'll make your ass choke. You can't smash my skull, and I don't even bleed, and you might've heard that if your ass knew how to read. Because I'm a caster, a blaster, a walking disaster, your big axe can't touch me when I take to the skies; I'll turn invisible, fly and make your ass fry. Five full attacks is still 20 too few, this ain't a rictus grin, bitch I'm laughing at you. You're just a savage, while I'm high stylin', You think you're Conan the Barbarian, but you're more like O'Brien.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:25 No.5316452
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    I read this with Grim's voice... And it was Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:25 No.5316454
    >but you're more like O'Brien

    Damn, that's cold.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:25 No.5316455
    oh SHIT!
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:26 No.5316463
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:29 No.5316487

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:30 No.5316497

    That, was, AWESOME.

    Right now the Lich is taking the battle, homies! Who got the guts to step up to this?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:30 No.5316502
    this shit calls for some morale rolls
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:35 No.5316546
    DJ Phylactery: Epic level bard/wizard.

    Chr: 50.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:35 No.5316552
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    staring you down from void sockets, i see you got pictures of family members in lockets, nothing but lint and prayers in your pockets. my existance is eternal you cannot knock it.
    so fuck it
    ill use the same word twice, dont need to use full power for you to be diced, im rolling in gold you are living off rice, i bend laws of time and space, you cant even win a potato-sack-race, people know and fear my face, who are you you fairy? you act like Jim Carey.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:39 No.5316573
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    Haha, kid, don't pull this shit on me. Go ahead, throw your shit, I'm bout to save fully, yo, it's a free, action when I bust a move, your bitches switch alignment when they see how smooth I do, so yo, continue, your rhymes are tragic, we 'bout to kick your ass all the way back to Might & Magic, yo, you ain't worth the time it takes to cast Divine, Armor, kid, now go on and get off my nine-inch Bounding Assault, go on and dust another rhyme off from yo' vault, but halt, I gotta serve up another hot, steaming platter of "Yo, drop the mic, bitch, you don't even matter". Liches be bitches, and if for that you're too thick, lemme open up a can of Evil Can Get Off My Dick(tm). So go on, roll them dice and you best hope you roll high, 'cuz you 'bout to meet my god, I cannot tell a lie. MC Divine Justice, what up, kid.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:40 No.5316581
    Yo, I'm the party druid, and go fuck yourself, your mother's an ogre and your father's an elf. You can't touch this, boy, you're outta the game, I'll just become a bear and put your ass to shame. Eat maximized extended Rain of Black Roses for starters, then eat SWALLOW WHOLE from a tyrannosaurus. Go fuck yourself, buddy, you ain't got the skills, your touch attack don't even give me the chills. I'm physical perfection, as tough as they come, and challenging me is just plain fucking dumb.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:40 No.5316585
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    DJ Death Knight. And what?

    You hesitant, incompetent, out of charges with a sword that's bent. You fightin, you smitin, but you gots to lament--Phylactery with Death Knight: represent.

    Wholly unholy with a d10 sword, I take on the light work for my dark lord. You playas in the lairs lookin for the treasure horde, but it's hp, not gp, you have scored.

    I've got jet black armor you won't penetrate, I lacerate, my undead proliferate while you recuperate, I hate, I bait, I sate my thirst, I generate the worst, you compensate try to invigorate hope I'll deteriorate but let me reiterate it is your fate to DIE.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:41 No.5316594
    Shit. I just realize the Lich is outnumbered 4-to-1 by the traditional party size.

    This rap battle is getting epic tier.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:43 No.5316605
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:46 No.5316628
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:48 No.5316642
    Rogue: You're right about muscles, he's really a dunce. All he helped do was gain experience. But he makes a good distraction, I used my standard action to boost your components, it's moments like this that make me feel alive. Can't stop me now, I've got evasion. In order to stop me, you'd need a full nation. Using illusions is useless with my slippery mind, now you're slippin on your rhymes. You said you got bitches? You couldn't get a zombie to take off her britches.
    I'm out. Hide check.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:48 No.5316647
    man, all these DMs with awesome vocabularies should be able to think up some crazy good shit
    i allways go "oooh!" in my head when they weave a rarely used word in.
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)15:49 No.5316650
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    Undead Liches be rollin over like bitches when I steal their riches, y'all got me in stiches if you think you can stop me. And the Paladins will all tremble once I reassemble the structure of their anatomy, my approach is preceded by destructive cacophany.

    With muscles too huge to exaggerate, ain't no foe I can't annihilate, holy pussies and coffin stuffers can't appreciate, bitch you ain't got no choice but to wait, I'm drawing ever closer to seal your fate, struggle more, it only just fuels my hate, I will accelerate every aspect of your doom, so say your prayers you holy shit; lich fuck off to your tomb.

    Know your lord and master, your senior, superior
    I'm the fuckin warrior.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:49 No.5316653
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    Oh you sick sack o'bones, be ready be served, cause MC Pally's in da house, spewing the slickest rhymes ya ever heard. Get down from ya castles, out of ya tombs, leave the floor to da mastas, with the hardest tunes. Granpa Lich, you ain't so tough, we can all see your bluff, cause those all those extra hitpoints just ain't gonna be enough. So bend right over, drop those robes, and then you'll see, your bony puckered ass will be the the new location of your phylactery!
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:50 No.5316660
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    (S...such hot rhymes. I need to get serious!)
    Oh yeah, you got them high saves, I almost forgot your punk ass class's one grace. Struttin your stuff with your high charisma, thinkin you can take on this blasphemer, but you can't hit my AC when your stats are uneven. Strength, dex, con, wis, you got so many dump stats you might as well flush, and I got all the spells I need to make your list blush. Pelor thinks he's hot like the sun, but he's cold like a blacklight, so draw your sword bitch, you're gonna need more for this fight. DJ Phylactery rollin with his boy Deathknight, we surmise and terrorize much to your surprise. We got more skills than a rogue with a 20 in intel, so step up if you dare and we'll send you to hell.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:52 No.5316665
    This. This is the best thread.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:53 No.5316670
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    I got this Phylactery. You've got better things to do than handle this trash.

    I animate wolves and mow down hippies, so on your knees, cuz I burned your trees. Our devils have revels with negative levels. You take full round actions to cast all your spells, but my interrupts erupt from all nine hells. You stick out your neck but you just a speck about to fail a concentration check.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:56 No.5316690
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    (Shit! Where did the Druid come from!?)
    Who invited the hippie? Prancin' around like this a movie from disney? Bitch please, you're making me laugh, garlands in your hair, and crabs in your snatch? Fuck it, I see a flower I pluck it, I see a pig I cook it, I see a dog I kick it because I'm old school evil and I keep on truckin, there's no stopin me, marking your territory with your pee? Bitch please, you couldn't swallow my dick. You stay in animal form because you make humanoid women sick. But hey, at least you're a bit out of the norm. When I make you my bitch, you can STAY in that form.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:56 No.5316691
    Win overload! Gon' cum! Gon' cum! GONNNNNNN! Aaahh.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:57 No.5316694
    Yo I'm Master of Ceremonies Spoony Bard, better listen up cos this ain't too hard;
    Lemme set things straight and send you back to your tomb, we're gonna kick your ass all around the room!
    Busting out tons of lyrical rhymes, whilst owning your ass multiple times;
    Pumping up my homies as they big up me, you've got no chance that's easy to see;
    You think you got skills, giving us chills, paying the bills? Then we'll just stick you back under the hills!
    Bitch, you think you're cool, that you're all that?
    Lich, you haven't enough meat on you to be phat.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)15:59 No.5316702
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:00 No.5316708
    please excuse me while i find an image fitting of a man who ate your villaiges worth of people, and inverted the church steeple
    oh guess there aint one badass enough, whod of thought it? back to the "lets play rough"
    youve got a crack in your team it seems a fissure ill expliot to break your dreams of a fight thatll put your names up in lights. it wont happen, you cant take me alone while every soul ive taken adds power to these bones you biker like children, breaking like wicker baskets and you run back to the surface like the rats is.
    my rhymes are short and compact, while you glower, this is a shower of unadultered lyrical power, so you cower.
    fuck off.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:02 No.5316718
    You fuckin' me, buddy? I'm nature's avatar, I'm kicking your ask and I'm kicking it far. I'm half of CoDzilla, and I'm earnin' the name, you'll need all those summons cause you're just too lame, I've got more fight than the fighter, more guts than the rogue, I ain't fuckin' around, you might as well go home. My beats are quick, my rhymes are slick, I've got shapechange now punk, and you're outta tricks. Fuck you, I'ma dragon, and now I'm a pit fiend, best watch yourself buddy, you're about to get reamed.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:02 No.5316719
    Yo yo yo, crazy undead niggah, it's MC Sneak Attack, tellin' you to watch your back, it's perception you lack when i'm in the room, i'll make it your tomb, my daggers, your doom. You say you're immune to my special skillz, well niggah, that just gives me mah thrillz! I don't need extra damage to shank you, hell, I'll even thank you for all the sweet loot, but no way will i rank you, you crazy dead fruit. By the way, not one of us got scratched by one single trap, when it comes to dungeons you can't design fo' crap. But that ain't shit on how bad you bust rhymes, shit, niggah, i've heard better from mimes! You must have put CHA as your dump stat, cuz you ain't all that, when you perform you get the lowest score, but when I start rappin' bitches beg me for more.

    You got anything left, you old dead heap of shit, or will I just take your bitches and go?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:03 No.5316723
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    This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
    You can do it, MCs of the round table! I believe in you! Serve that bitch!
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:03 No.5316729
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    Hey hey hey, son, I like your style, but yo, I'm gettin' all up in yo grill for a while, I know you like me but on a different path, but it ain't against your alignment to go take a bath, yo, you stank with the funk of 40,000 years, survive my lyrical onslaught and I'll owe you a beer, MC Justice is here, have no fear but get nervous, my steamin'-hot rhymes come with full fuckin' service, but the shit ain't free, son, you'll pay the fee, fully. Let's ring you up, dawg, and come on, be quick, one Justice-size order of How To Kick-- yo, evil ass, that is, hey, toss ya boy the dice and you'll see I'm a whiz, got a +10 modifier in Clownin' on Evil Asses, I'll blast you, so fast, you won't know, how to cope, so just go, and have a seat while I unleash my flow.

    Yo, Phylactery, you think I forgot? All in good time, kid, you know that I'm hot, see, I'm hung like an elephant and we don't forget, so sit next to your homeboy and prepare to get stepped, on. Hell, son? Man, I ain't scared of that. I got more annoying niggas in my party, a Gnome Bard, in fact, so quit tryna step up, go on and fill another cup of Haterade before you get right back on my nuts, hey, you kids are still tryna waste my time, I got half a mind, to leave you with my rogue, you know they do it from behind. That's how you two like it, I heard, now concoct some more rhymes-- Justice. Word.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:05 No.5316736
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    >Bitch please, you couldn't swallow my dick
    >You stay in animal form because you make humanoid women sick.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:05 No.5316739
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:07 No.5316753
    I was born to watch this.
    Can we archive this?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:08 No.5316760
    You annihilate? We dominate. We charm we harm, disintegrate. Your crit won't hit so you don't mean shit and did I omit that we regenerate?

    Swords and boards won't stop our hordes. Your axe and spear won't stop our fear. You rant you rave but fail one save and then you'll cave and crave you stayed home. We own, we pwn from thrones of bones and soon you'll moan alone while prone on stone and groan cause you're outshone and can't postpone that--eight hours from now--you'll be our crone.
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)16:08 No.5316761
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    Nature boy's defense ain't in any condition, but I'm on a mission to impose my jurisdiction. Nigga you havin a conniption, but just do some addition, it's one on one here and I outnumber you.

    DK you rhyme like a circus mime, living on borrowed time, takin orders from some dried up corpse slime. I'll bust your spine with one thrust from my nine--incher--that is. A force of nature is what you just found, I'll storm through your dungeon and give YOU a suprise round.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:09 No.5316766

    Please post a pic that we may know who you are, a faceless MC don't get to be a star.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:10 No.5316769
    i did it myself
    at least try to make your post rhyme you faggot bystander elf.
    shit, jeez im a giant among you, theres throngs of noobs, just leave before you taste my boots.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:11 No.5316778
    Get thee to oblivion, you undead sack of shit. You're losin' it now, you ain't got the wits. You know deep inside that I'm just too hot; for someone to fuck you, they'd need +20 to spot. I'm the man with the plan and hung like a horse, I'm makin' it better while your rhymes are gettin' worse. MC Druid out, yo.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:12 No.5316779
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    Shit, DJ Phylactery surrounded by punk bitches, rollin out of the wordwork like termites, tryin to take a bite and curb my style tonight. Five to two, and DJ Phylactery is STILL ALIVE, you punks are jive like THAC0, forgetting that I got an aura of fear that'll make bitches quake, yo. MC Deathknight and DJ Phylactery are an army of two, got minions and bitches to curb stomp the lot of you. You think you're an army but you're a Confederacy of Dunces, and when I start dropping epic spells you'll be scorched like some blunts. Mass harm, mass charm, alarm, nailed to the sky, we'll see how fly you are when I use power word: die. And I ain't stoppin there, once you're out of my hair I'm goin up there to where your punk asses came from, and I'm gonna put to the sword all of your loved ones. DJ Phylactery doesn't fuck around, my vengeance abounds, got more contingencies than Tzeentch and more bitches than Slan', when I finish with you it'll be just as planned.
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)16:14 No.5316794
    i forgot to say that these were all me, dont stop or stall, dont choke or flee
    but stand on your feet, never admit defeat
    because the more they fight back the tastier the meat
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:16 No.5316805
    In a righteous fight, my swords got the the bite. My shield won't yield to your blasphemous blight. Fucking your minions up left and right, passing by your traps day and night. Fighting for good and upholding the light. Breaking your phylactery out of spite. Pelor and me got this shit locked down tight, gonna make your lich ass burn real bright. Dwarfing your power with channeled holy might, I the paladin cast smite.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:21 No.5316852
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    War Priest represent.
    Divine Justice's plate mighta got a dent, but this bitch can't deal with my hammer all lambent. You think you've got it bad now, wait till that plate gets buffed. While DJ was dissertatin', the rogue got your stuff.

    Now I got the HP on Temporary and my friend's are gonna make sure yo' casket's closed. They say I's just a heal bot but I've got strength up to 17, what kinda stats are those? If you leveled up swingin' hammer into nose, you'd get muscles like a motherfucker to hit your foes, 2, times more than pally's healing surge ever could give, and when I deal radiant damage you damn sure it's gonna take a long time to forgive, this, shit I gotta wait a day before I use this again but fuck you nigga I do more damage than a striker with a +10.

    Astral Storm motherfucker.

    DJ, if you got undead problems, I feel bad for you son,
    But I got 99 problems and a Lich ain't one.
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)16:22 No.5316855
    yo both of you dont be thinking you are greater
    its just in times like these, we cant be a hater when peasants try to take fees us liches gotta stick and take down the bitches
    one more thing for all of you before i end this post, just saying im cooking soul stew, im the lich with the most, best not give chase, get back Home on curfew, you may of known me in life as LU BU DO NOT PERSUE
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:22 No.5316860
    Were're The Hench Men, and we be blocking your shit, saving the crew by taking the hits. You think you messing us up? We're just running interference; wanna know the plan, but we ain't got no clearance. We'll be here forever, we'll be here when i'm gone, we'll be here after you and after this song. I'm leading this shit, and dropping the rhymes, you think you've beaten me? I've been raised nine times!
    check it
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)16:25 No.5316873
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    Your rhymes are language crimes, but I didn't expect much from a skeleton covered with grime. My sword will find you no matter the roll, I'll strike through the planes and CRIT YOUR SOUL. Nigga I killed you when you were alive now I'll kill you again. I roll twenties motherfucker, no way you can defend. You're up against Sword n' Board, no way you can contend.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:26 No.5316876
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    Ai'ight, Ai'ight, real talk, real talk.

    I destroy constitutions like Gdub Bush,
    Drain yo' life energy, for you, its too much.
    I'm a high class wight, but I got more mobility,
    I suppose you could say I'm like the ghost nobility.

    Step up to my grill and I'll knock you out.
    My magics make all the undead ladies shout.
    You try to take me down, say you'll write my memorial.
    Bitch, your weapons cannot harm me, I'm incorporeal!

    I got in one little fight, but my mom weren't scared,
    Against my power, no one can be compared.
    I'll stomp any fool without fail,
    Now scurry on back to Icewind Dale, bitch!

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:29 No.5316904
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    Eh-hem, what's this? Oh could it be? Another lich thinking he's a BBEG? HAHA Muthafucka it's mastermind time, behold my PhD in evil and Rhymes.
    I twist strings and pull curtains, I'm the master of puppets.
    Think that phylactery's yours? Guess your sin's to covet.
    I'm no demigod, demon, or devil. Just a lvl 20 NPC, all stats on the level.
    Came up hard with a heart of rust, but now I see my own minions I can't trust.

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:29 No.5316908
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    Y'know, I tried detect evil but your aura's faint. Thought you were someone's familiar till I learned ya ain't. Maybe it's illusion--now that'd be quaint--but I think it's just because you're drowning in the taint--

    --of immortal MCs who've seen it all, and laughed more than once as the paladins fall. I was kinda like you once--all these and thous--but then Phylactery brought down the house.

    We won't desist, your soul will twist until you've kissed your faith goodbye. You got the gist? You swung, you missed. Soon you'll assist this iron fist you can't resist and will enlist cause you're too punk to die.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:30 No.5316913
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    Excrement has expediently and quite recently transformed into something far more relevant to the tangible.
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)16:31 No.5316921
    Feelin' the hurt, Phylactery? Because I know you ain't shit compared ta me. For a pussy like you, I won't Hide in Plain Sight, because a bitch lich like you can't fight for shite, my might is your plight. So I can't use my poison or a stab in the back, I'll just stick my Rod of Wonder right up yo' crack! You fucked up takin' on MC Sneak Attack! Your treasure is mine, gotta say, it's mighty fine, but hardly worth my time, I got lots more comin' at me down the line. I'll be in epic levels soon, you deshevelled old cock, cause the path of the rogue is the one that i walk, I don't need shortcuts to power, I get more XP in an hour than you do in a shower of minions - stick to flower arranging, you dour old spook. Ain't nothin' more embarrasing than a crazy kook who thinks he's hot shit, well guess what, bro, you ain't it!

    Sneak Attack signing off. You got anything more for me?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:32 No.5316933
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    <--this thread
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:33 No.5316946
    Hey OP,

    Please use as much of this as possible in your game.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:33 No.5316948
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    >> MC Divine Justice 08/02/09(Sun)16:34 No.5316952
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    Disregard the imitators, haters, masturbators, you lookin' for MC Justice, I'll be your chief navigator, through your ass-kickin' this evening, once I'm through with you you might take up basket weaving, yo, cuz you sure as hell ain't got none of your bitches left, don't worry though, son, in that regard I'm so deft, I'll have 'em back to you soon so won't even miss 'em yet, yo, but make no mistake, once they come back every moan's gonna be a fake. 'Cuz I'm the agent of my god come into your world, my fire-hot rhymes would make your hair curl, hey, but that is, if you still had even one, but I figure you're too old to even face the sun, let alone me, you startin' to sound real whiny, face it, scrub, your whole crew has taken a shine to me, but hey, don't worry kid it's under control, how much appeal did you think there was in an old undead asshole? I've got a proposition for a bitch in your position, put yo money where yo mouth is, I'm 'bout to give you a first class ticket to where True South is, yeah that's right, one-way to the Burning Hells, can't you already hear the wedding bells? My foot, your ass, a match made in heaven, ladies and gentlemen the moment you've been waiting for, time to separate the Lich from his 10-cent bitches, 20-cent whores, and to be generous his one-dollar rhymes, each one of which I've heard before a million times, and from those of lower stature, yo, you oughtta be ashamed of yourself, go on and give up, put that phylactery back up on the shelf.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:35 No.5316958
    Who knew so many fa/tg/uys could freestyle
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:35 No.5316969

    You bet you ass I will.
    >> MC Divine Justice 08/02/09(Sun)16:36 No.5316970

    I love you.
    >> MC Spoony Bard 08/02/09(Sun)16:36 No.5316972
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    MC SB coming round once again,
    Rolling over you like your stats were straight tens;
    Lich and deathknight, trying to put up a fight, how cute!
    But you haters have no chance, that you can't refute.
    I'm discombobulatingly devastating, can't you see?
    You stand no hope against my homies and me!
    You think your undead rabble "counts as" a horde?
    Bitch, the armies motivated by me will have you floor'd!
    Go back to your crypt, keep your mouth zip'd;
    Cos my lyrics leave you trip'd, yo ass be whip'd!
    Think after this that you're still in the fight?
    Heh, no. Time to say good night!
    SB out.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:36 No.5316977
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    And here I was thinking fa/tg/uys were all metalfags. Glad to see some hiphop heads up in here.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:37 No.5316980
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    Aw shit son I'm sorry but a new challenger appears, this bard spitting phat rhymes that ring in your ears. You shoulda quit while you were ahead you filthy undead because you're about to be entranced in an irresistible dance. What's with this sack of bones, trying to step to a party. I'm dropping rhymes fresh like 4th, and you're still stuck in 2E. Your CR is pathetic just like your aesthetic and your rhymes are all mold while I spit liquid gold. You tried with all your might, but here comes the eyebite, and you just failed your save you stupid knave. While you're lying on the ground in a coma, I'm gonna throw down some legend lore and get to know you. Aw shit boy now I know where you keep your silly little soul, and you best run back to your filthy necro hole. I'm about to end your undead castin vocation with this, my rhymin sympathetic vibration.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:37 No.5316981

    is there anything fa/tg/uys CAN'T do?

    in before bring Ed's mom back to life.
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)16:37 No.5316984
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    Don't group me with amateurs, I stand alone. I won't rest until I'm towering over you on your own throne. The mettle of a man before bones don't quake, your fear aura is barely enough to keep me awake. Ain't no warblade that ever been laid more, no paladin ever prayed more, no rogue ever evade more, no lord ever paid more, and I'm on a crusade, won't be delayed, until your skull is displayed on the end of my blade.

    Once I'm done with you I'm going straight to your phylactery, I'll pull your strings like a puppet for all your jackassery, ain't no undead bitch ever crossed, you will acknowledge me as boss, your master, your lord. Give praise to the muscle, the mighty Sword n' Board.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:37 No.5316987
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    Oh yeah, now DJ Phylactery's posse is here. Spreadin' the fear and rocking you queers. No need for me to stick around to watch my crew stomp you bitches into the ground. I'm an old school villain with world changing plans, can't be wasting my time playing games with the fans, as it stands I've wasted to much time with you, so I'm leavin' you punks to deal with my crew. You think this is my only lair? I got more catacombs than you got lice in your hair. While you were bangin skanks in the tavern, I was taming the wyvern and turning the rivers to blood and causing a flood of power and sin, you've got no hope to win. So I'm leavin' y'all but don't think this is a retreat, DJ Phylactery's power is smooth like sleet and I never admit defeat, because I'm a solo elite, got more CR than Sigil's got planes, I'm more of a blight than the spell plague. I'm more twinkie than 4th edition, more munchkin than the card game. What do I rule? I've forgotten more realms under my control than you've ever seen in your body and soul. So as I peace out, dig my evil laugh, you foolish bitches have fallen right into my trap. Did you honestly think you punks could defeat me? Fools, DJ Phylactery is the BBEG!

    DJ Phylactery out motherfuckers. MC DK, Minions, you got this shit. Word.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:38 No.5316994

    You better be ready when you step up bitch, you might just be dealing with the homebrew shit. Shooting fire from the mouth and acid from the ass, this weird ass voodoo juju puts the board on GLASS.

    Who I kiddin? These motherfuckers CR one. They be be disintegrating, peace out, done. But when your ass rolls up to the Hench Men crew, there's a whole lotta us and just one of you.

    get to flanking dawgs
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)16:38 No.5317001
    MC DeepLich gonna have to go to town, ill give you that you're persistant but you look a fuckin' clown. persistance aint a virtue when you cant rhyme the distance and one D20 hurts you, youd do well to learn that mr-i-cant-get-hit-coz-ive-no-hp-sneak-attack, take that wisdom for free, while i dom for your wife and daughters three, coz ive got 10,000 lifetimes of your XP.
    >> MC Divine Justice 08/02/09(Sun)16:39 No.5317005
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:42 No.5317038
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    Sneak Attack should watch his back for wraiths and shadows of deepest black. Our melee touch drains strength and such, he'll need a crutch when we're done with his ass. His chest he'll clutch and when strength is zero, he won't be a hero, and he'll be on OUR crew. You won't hear his rap cause in 1d4 rounds the only sounds you'll hear are woooooooooooo.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:45 No.5317078
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    DK here, I'm out too, but I was really down on your craze. I dug your daze and maze and raze, and Phylactery, Deeplich: see you in 1d10 days.

    >> DJ BBEG 08/02/09(Sun)16:46 No.5317079
    Perhaps I was too far background, but that’s how it goes
    Now to give you the entire strong arm as given to my nymph-hoes

    I spit spells with infuriating power,
    Taking these PKs into their finest hour,
    I’ll have you hung up, Ready for public torture and abuse,
    Pull on the lever, Neck held up by a noose,
    Blood leaking out of your burst arteries and veins,
    Letting cannibals orcs at ya, To chew on your remains,
    Then the crowd will cheer, all see to me
    No hero’s, your friendly neighborhood BBEG

    My name sends fear striking through your spine,
    The way I am, it’s the DM’s best design,
    Ain’t no one more violent minded, I came straight outta 9 hells,
    Reciting demonic curses, Put you in deep under my spells,
    I can see it in you, Looking you straight in the eye,
    Too much fear and anticipation inside you, Waiting to die...
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:47 No.5317091
    Also, this is what happens when everyone gestalts/hybrids a bard.
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)16:48 No.5317102
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    Your undead posse must be unable to construe, the fact that I'm a one-man wrecking crew. Go ahead and flank, it'll be easier to cleave. I'll whirlwind attack till there's nothing left but KNEES. You're nothing but small fry, but its your second time to die, even the undead are terrified of my battle cry.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:48 No.5317103
    Shit bitches, you know hows we swang.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:49 No.5317108
    I'm going to bed, can't hold back a yawn, this shit better be fully archived come dawn.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:52 No.5317139
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    Traps go! You a ho! It's them--oh no! No mo! Just go! Ow ow--my toe! C'mon bro! It's not like we give experience any mo.
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)16:53 No.5317148
    oh dear, what have we here!?
    a traiterous knight who wants our friend in bed at night? i said! yo all goody goodies! you bardies and pallies! a turncoat in your midst! i dont even have to make a fist! your laws that bind, and cause you to design plans against one another, your brothers, MCDV crossed the line that doesnt exist for me, hell be fined, imprisoned, this undead king is free.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:54 No.5317160
    Oh shit, that's right
    Big shoutout to all the Mountain Dwarf Fighters in the house.
    It's Crawlin' time with Done Jon.
    Lay some beats on me!

    Keep your W, A, S and D
    Nothin' but the numberpad will do it for me
    Numlock best be off, one pinkie sits on shift
    Your mom grinds up her fighting with me if you catch my drift.
    Layin' pain with my axe
    Even orc priests don't relax
    if they hear that I'm a-crawlin
    they know they'll soon be bawlin
    I make my stash in ZOT 4
    You know I'm that hardcore
    I punch dragons for a laugh
    Electric eels in my bath
    (And you know they're oldskool style,
    with the rebound-killer smile)
    I'm a Spriggan Venomancer and I win every other game
    If you're failing with your Fighter then go hang your head in shame
    I know you're easymoding and you prob'ly savescum too
    I should beat you round the head but I can't be bothered to
    Come back up and find you cos you're hiding in the temple
    while you rest and fill your health back up, you disgrace to your people
    If you're beardy round your neck then you should win one game in three
    If you want to learn to master this you best listen to me
    Now conserve all your consumables that ain't gonna rot till last
    one mistake in early days can make you lose so very fast
    I throw down rhymes remember them when you be crawlin' solo
    don't be going in the elf halls if your magic res is too low
    if you like to worship Xom then you best be a funny bitch
    or you'll burn up when he summon demons like a salem witch
    but if you listen to my lesson and you practise what I preach
    then the orb of Zot will soon be in your sweaty virgin reach.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:54 No.5317162
    With a RIP AND TEAR, I'm in your lair. Bringing my barbaric rage to bare. You think you know the true meaning of power? You haven't even seen me when I'm dour. Stewing in the black cloud of hate, you wish you could avoid me when I'm irate. Reeking of sweat and tavern beer, I'll take more damage than Palin's career.

    I have an axe the size of you plus two, mother fucker's going to slice on through. Go ahead, bring your minion crew and I'll turn them into a bloody stew. You thought you were the master of fear? Fuck of Lich because the barbarian's here.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)16:56 No.5317186
    Much respect Sword & Board; you're one bad ass fighter, but y'all stumbling around like you looking for a lighter. While you suckas be hatin on the Hench Men crew, MC Wraith be getting down, finding work to do. We lay it down soft, but the 20s run free; lets hope you have DR, there's only so much HP
    >> MC Divine Justice 08/02/09(Sun)16:58 No.5317201

    Ay, slow down, kid, too eager to hop on my jock, I merely suggest a real enemy to pop drop and lock, with, not a little shrimp like you, take your two-line rhyme and quit actin' a foo'. Me and the Phylactery'll meet again in strife, all I'm sayin': MCDJ and Phylactery: Nemeses for Life.
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)16:59 No.5317214
    Well, motherfucker, I figured you'd run. But I saw it coming, and I had my fun. A sleight of hand check was all that I needed, and when you hear this, you'll wish you had pleaded for the good MC's favour, but hey, the taste of your tears is my favourite flavour. See, I did a little scoping around, by the way, your lair looks like a dog pound, but guess what I found, that's right, motherfucker, it's bright and it's shiny, and it's as important as your penis is tiny, Phylactery's phylactery, out in the air for all to see! So run, motherfucker, and you best make another, because I own your shit like a bad older brother! To them pussy-ass minions that you left behind, well, can I remind your unrefined mind that my strength ain't my strength, so you best suck my length! I'm a rogue, I use DEX, should have put that in your background checks! Well, niggah, MC Sneak moving out, try not to let your minions catch you pout, you got your ass handed to you by this noble scout.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:00 No.5317225
    So I hear you like the Mythos
    well you better listen up 'cos
    I gon' tell you what to do
    if you want to see this through
    If you wanna live till morning
    then you gonna be in mourning
    cos for you to live till daylight
    means you got to use your friends right

    They be meatshields to you now
    so please don't go have a cow
    when I say they're gonna die
    it's just so you can survive
    Now these mythos beastie suck
    there's a way to beat them, but
    it's not pleasant for your mind
    they gonna want some SAN to grind

    If you make sure you're in the middle
    when the party starts explorin'
    make sure to play the second fiddle
    and you might just live till morning
    Never be the first into a tomb
    or be the last to leave a room
    cos that's when ghouls and shamblers strike
    and drag you off into the night

    Now living ain't too difficult when
    you only fight ghouls for your brains
    but if the Mythos deities rise
    you probably want to cover your eyes
    whisper prayers into the dark
    and blow your brains 'fore they start
    to eat your soul, your mind, your being
    'cos that's the shit you can't be healing
    Cthulhu's sleeps, he's rather mellow
    but watch out for that Hastur fe
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:02 No.5317240
    From now on, Perform ( Freestyle rap) is a prerequisite for any character in my game. Can't let potential like this slide, would be a goddamn shame, do doubt I'll hear acclaim for what results of that became.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:04 No.5317260
    >>5317225 ending right after Hastur
    I see what you d
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)17:07 No.5317275
    oh crumbs, alone....
    my being burns, cold, too many sins to atone...
    and my rhymes die in time with myself its a sign, this battle is won, we had our fun.
    may-be as... the spreading mindfire burns out, these final days of our evil empire,and my outlook.. so dire, may cause a drawfag to feel inspired, and as my bones return to dust this image scoured in metal boxes with screens, endures the rust.
    and so finally, my soul could be free, the rapping-freestyling DeepLich MC... thanks the brave knights who battled me, and bids you one last ryhme,
    good night /tg/
    >> Sword n' Board 08/02/09(Sun)17:07 No.5317280
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    The real challenge has retreated from battle, ditching his chumps, who rhyme like a herd of cattle. No sense in bringing it when the opponent's self-defeatin, until next time fa/tg/uys Sword n' Board is leavin.
    >> MC Spoony Bard 08/02/09(Sun)17:09 No.5317290
    Sending minions to try and take down MC SB?
    Bitch, one little tune and they're working for me!
    MC DK trying to bring the pain,
    But up against me, he'll end up as a stain!
    Lich thinks we can't get to his phylactery,
    But I'll smash it with a song, its how Lirr blessed me.
    BBEG, think the crowds on your side?
    Check the polls, you're starting to slide.
    Bringing you down, making you frown,
    Toppling your crown, drag you through town;
    Ending your plan with the greatest of ease,
    Think you can come back? Bitch please!
    You may be the puppet master but your strings are cut,
    And now it's over, we kicked your butt!
    SB out.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:10 No.5317300
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    sword n board is a god
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:14 No.5317333
    This shit BEST be archived the second I finish typin' this post.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:16 No.5317354
    >> War Priest 08/02/09(Sun)17:16 No.5317357
    Done blew my load in my last post, and as I can see all the baddies are toast so I may as well get the Hell out of Dodge before this shit reanimates and becomes even more real.

    Keep it holy, bitches.
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)17:17 No.5317363
    shit.... i allmost wanna keep the name
    you think im going for fame!? youre wrong! this place would never be the same! every time a fellow MC tries to disagree, we gotta settle it with a rap battle, see?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:19 No.5317381

    My pick: DK.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:21 No.5317386
    Sword & Board. It's good to be the hero.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:21 No.5317387
    I vote Sword n Board
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:21 No.5317396
    I can't keep track of everyone, and there were some anons here who never named themselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:21 No.5317397
    So this is it, the end of the rhyme; Bosses leaving fore the paycheck, that shits outta line. Got no fighter to string along, just some bards for a sing along, army mooks that they bring along, you all know that that shit be wrong. We be departing now, though we gave it our best and we always be willin to put your shit to the test
    Hench Men representin
    Union 611 motherfuckers
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:22 No.5317403
    I liked DJ Phylactery. Good spell references, rhythmic, and also the genius who dreamed this up.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:23 No.5317411
    DJ Divine Justice, most def.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:25 No.5317426
    im still waiting for one of them to of been typing a huge one, and not realised its all over, then hell post it, like an earthquake aftershock.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:25 No.5317428

    DK, S&B and Phy are all different styles. Can't decide :(
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:26 No.5317433
    I'm between Justice and Phylactery. They were the best rhymers here (if that's a word).

    I think I'll go with Phylactery, but it's close.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:28 No.5317449
    Sneak Attack would have been better with some pictures.

    Minions were a good idea, but still kind of miniony.

    DK rhymed well but didn't have those OH DAAAAMN moments where he really slammed someone.

    S&B had a really solid personality, but I didn't like his cadence and rhymes.

    So I vote for the unnamed lichface from here >>5316293
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)17:28 No.5317454
    DJ Phylactery got some real good shit, I'd like to say he's a done his bit for /tg/, you see, he gave it up for free, he keepin' it real, if he wants to come back, it's a deal.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:29 No.5317460
    Fuck drawfags, we need someone with a studio to record all this shit and release it on /rs/.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:30 No.5317468
    It was a good load, Father. Can I have a towel?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:32 No.5317482

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:37 No.5317513
    >DJ, if you got undead problems, I feel bad for you son,
    >But I got 99 problems and a Lich ain't one.

    Favorite line.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:41 No.5317539
    oh shit how did I miss that... glorious
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:42 No.5317547
    I'll stick with Phylactory, he had great rhymes and references without obvious plagiarism.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:44 No.5317560

    MC War Priest had some innovation despite the plagiarism, but man, he did that plagiarism creatively.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:47 No.5317582
    >You can't smash my skull, and I don't even bleed, and you might've heard that if your ass knew how to read. Because I'm a caster, a blaster, a walking disaster

    My favourite line. Phylactery demolishes the barbarian.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:47 No.5317584

    I don't even like rap and I'd listen to this.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:49 No.5317594
    Sword n' Board or Phylactory, I can't decide. ;_;

    Shit, everyone was pretty dope. Shot outs all around.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:49 No.5317597
    What, no love for MC Spoony Bard?
    >> War Priest 08/02/09(Sun)17:50 No.5317604

    Yo, those rhymes were so bitchin', how could I resist from takin' a sieve to the shit of Jay-Z and spring that sewage-born Holy Water on this sumbitch lich?

    Much respect to DJ Phylactery though, War Priest gotta vote for you for the BBEG team.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:51 No.5317613
    Signed, I've never been as awed by /tg/'s boundless talent as I am right now.
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)17:52 No.5317622
    A picture for sneak? You can't take a peek at the master of stealth, I've got a wealth of sly techniques for you freaks. Maybe another time I'll raid my vault for pics, maybe I'll find one that clicks, until then, I'll take my licks.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:52 No.5317625

    Good stuff. Still, a pic would've helped, just for the atmosphere and easy recognition.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:54 No.5317634
    SB was too formulaic--AABB is for poetry, not rap battles.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:54 No.5317637
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    >Don't group me with amateurs, I stand alone. I won't rest until I'm towering over you on your own throne. The mettle of a man before bones don't quake, your fear aura is barely enough to keep me awake. Ain't no warblade that ever been laid more, no paladin ever prayed more, no rogue ever evade more, no lord ever paid more, and I'm on a crusade, won't be delayed, until your skull is displayed on the end of my blade.

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:56 No.5317647
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    Check, check, check, check, nah don't bother save a little self respect / Be the only save you make / the numbers just don't equate / step up to me thinking you rate / above average? Aw kids, my beatdown is savage / I got epic spells to ravage / planes, the lines I spit are same / I'm not sane / Not even playing the same game / as you. I'm outta your league / I don't fatigue / surrender or cede to likes of you / know how many of us there are there that fuck death? Few. / We're like gold / immeasurably old / we're like honey traps to juiced up PCs that fold / like scale mail, cause that shit's epic fail / We're like grails but not the holy caste / If you're looking for a cap feather- you might not last / to continue to fight the tarrasque / so think fast the quest ends here / in fear / blubbing in the DM's ear.

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:56 No.5317650
    Now picture the group of skinny white kids in the basement. A collection of ragged Wu Tang posters on the wall. Standing around the D&D table holding mics plugged into their laptops.

    Enter little sister.

    "You guys are dorks."

    "Get out of the basement Sarah!"
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)17:58 No.5317665
    I think this one-two punch took the druid out of the game.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:00 No.5317675
    "Dude, your sister's hot."
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)18:00 No.5317678
    >one more thing for all of you before i end this post, just saying im cooking soul stew, im the lich with the most, best not give chase, get back Home on curfew, you may of known me in life as LU BU DO NOT PERSUE
    >youve got a crack in your team it seems a fissure ill expliot to break your dreams of a fight thatll put your names up in lights. it wont happen, you cant take me alone while every soul ive taken adds power to these bones you biker like children, breaking like wicker baskets and you run back to the surface like the rats is.
    >my rhymes are short and compact, while you glower, this is a shower of unadultered lyrical power, so you cower.
    >fuck off.

    i was kinda proud of these, at least
    seems no one cared for Deep, ah well, so soundly now he sleeps he wont know, or will he?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:01 No.5317682

    "She's nine, you sick fuck."
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:02 No.5317694

    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:03 No.5317705
    Holy shit MC druid came back with some hot shit, I didn't even notice
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:04 No.5317706
    Is this thread archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:05 No.5317713

    Why ragged? I keep mine pristine...
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)18:05 No.5317715
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:07 No.5317734

    Yes. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5315595/
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:11 No.5317782
    "She told me she was twelve!"
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:14 No.5317793
    "oh shit dude, his sister totally wants you"
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:20 No.5317844
    Goddamn, why do all /tg/ threads end in incest ;_;
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:27 No.5317913
    Oh my sweet merciful Christ.

    My evening has been made by this thread. This shit so good Tupac would rise from the dead

    to give praise, share the craze, for all of our days,
    we'll never forget
    when we archive this rap-battle royale,
    how much better this shit is from even a GET.

    Hateful Saint, son. Backing this shit up and keeping it for all time, to the end of days, I'll keep this to remind /tg/ why we need to sing praise, this is just 'cause we're good, we can pull shit off like this even lost deep in the SUMMER WOOD.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:29 No.5317923
    where are the drawfags
    i want a mural of this clash between the greats
    every freestyler included
    >> MC Divine Justice 08/02/09(Sun)18:44 No.5318066

    All the same person by the way.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:48 No.5318101
    oh god someone archive this thread
    >> MC DeepLich 08/02/09(Sun)18:49 No.5318111
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    "you're pretty good"
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)18:52 No.5318134
    it was archived near the start, on suptg it sits king
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)18:54 No.5318156
    All an AWESOME person, by the way.
    >> MC Druid 08/02/09(Sun)19:07 No.5318257
    I wish I could rap as well as you can.

    I tried, though.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:07 No.5318262
    My name is Aaron, and I was >>5316259 and >>5316642.
    Not the best, I admit.
    For being a metalhead who doesn't listen to much else, I did pretty damn good.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:22 No.5318376
         File1249255378.png-(14 KB, 95x120, 1244329446068.png)
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    >Face it, dawg, y'all is out classed. I'm strictly epic tier, ready to drop yo' paragon ass.

    Oh SNAP
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:30 No.5318419

    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)19:40 No.5318460
    MC Druid, you got some style. You had some good "DAAMN, YO" moments.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:42 No.5318471
         File1249256543.jpg-(867 KB, 1280x3838, LichRapBattle1.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:43 No.5318478
         File1249256609.jpg-(714 KB, 1280x3619, LichRapBattle2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:44 No.5318486
         File1249256664.jpg-(682 KB, 1280x3618, LichRapBattle3.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:45 No.5318491
    I love seeing strange people rapping

    And it's not because it's ironic anymore, it's just cool and I like it
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)19:46 No.5318495
    no...... drawfags?
    going to have to jot it down somewhere to request this in the next decent drawfag thread.
    >> MC Sneak Attack 08/02/09(Sun)19:55 No.5318539
    ...or you could just use those screenshots that guy just posted.
    >> MC I-Own 08/02/09(Sun)20:15 No.5318662
    Fuck alla y'all, you thought we were done I bet.
    MC I-Own is here and this ain't over yet.
    Don't need your magic or gods, you'll find
    I can take your shit out with the power of my mind.
    You liches are pussies, trying for immortality
    By becoming bony as shit and just as ugly.
    Adventurers are even worse, relyin'
    On your "magical" items and not even trying.
    Taking you out without even sweating.
    Your choice of class you're soon regetting.
    Don't need to min/max, don't need to meta,
    I took Endurance instead so I could do your moms betta.
    This fight is over before its started.
    Just give up, don't be retarded.
    I can see the fucking future, your asses are toast.
    In about 20 seconds all I can see is ghosts.
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)20:52 No.5318967
    man this one was actually useful too.
    im shite at crawl, thanks MC
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)21:11 No.5319093
    this thread is the greatest thing I've ever seen on /tg/
    >> Anonymous 08/02/09(Sun)23:23 No.5319989
         File1249269821.jpg-(72 KB, 734x404, 1248931883495.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:28 No.5320506
    bump for glory
    >> BROther Laughing Man !AWEsomEEEE!!CwndNHTjLMy 08/03/09(Mon)00:35 No.5320565
         File1249274130.jpg-(95 KB, 386x282, 1239763618031.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:36 No.5320581
    bump because this needs to be bumped
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:49 No.5320686
    Is this thread over? Who won? Lich or the party?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:51 No.5320706
    /tg/ won thats who
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:53 No.5320725

    >Who won?

    We did, son. we did.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)00:56 No.5320760
    Roses are red, violets are blue,

    I'm the DM, rocks fall on you.

    Everybody dies, the end.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:44 No.5321285
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:46 No.5321309
    Normally I would smirk a bit and maybe even applaud.

    After this thread? I am disgusted by that pathetic attempt.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:48 No.5321320

    Need to update the archived version to end with the linked post.
    >> Sword n' Board 08/03/09(Mon)01:59 No.5321438
         File1249279167.jpg-(41 KB, 398x637, warrior.jpg)
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    Ain't no clear winner so let's call it a draw, Phylactery kept it fresh, but Sword n' Board kept it raw. I'm spitting nothing but the law, a taste of the shock and awe that I'll bring, cuz a corpse can't be trusted to stay in the battle ring. This fight ain't over until the fat lich sings, till I throw down the pain and he crowns me king, his rhymes are strong but mine are THUNDERING, so make your move lich, I'll be waiting in the wings.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:17 No.5321652
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    /tg/, I...I love you.

    You have inspired me to run a one-shot in which D.J. Phylactery is the BBEG, and he has stolen the natural rhythm from the gods of funk and beat, allowing him to reanimate the dead with the power of the beat, raising a worldwide army of undead, all dancing in unison as they wage an unholy war against a fearful planet robbed of it's funk.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:19 No.5321673
    Fuck that, run it as a MOTHERFUCKING CAMPAIGN.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:22 No.5321710
    To all of you who say that /tg/ sucks:

    Go fuck yourselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:23 No.5321717
    Name his highest-ranking undead servant Bernie and we're set.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:26 No.5321735
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    I've read through this thread about nine times. I love it so much... there must be more, this needs to be a weekly, daily or fucking hourly thing. every single one of these rappers should be signed.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:26 No.5321743
    I just have to ask... NO ART?? NONE?

    I am disappoint, but not nearly enough to lower the win that is this thread.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:27 No.5321749
    Bernie the Blackguard?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:29 No.5321770
    No, faggot, Bernie the Death Knight.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:29 No.5321772
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:35 No.5321840

    I've never been willing to say this before, but now I don't think I could stop myself from saying it even if I wanted. I... I love you. Sometimes you treat me badly, sometimes you let people into our house who I don't want around, and you get a bit overobsessed with some things I don't like, but... This was just so beautiful.

    I love you /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:38 No.5321879
    I just got here. What's up? Anyone care to summarize the thread? (how long do threads last in /tg/ anyway?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:39 No.5321882
    Lich does a rap off with adventuring party.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:39 No.5321888

    Rap battle.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:40 No.5321890

    Lich and Death Knight rap battle party of adventurers. Read the thread it's pure gold.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:43 No.5321917
    Holy fuck it is pretty awesome. I dunno how much I can draw for you but I'mma gonna see about realizing this Lich.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:44 No.5321919

    Considering this thread was started almost twelve hours ago, it's fucking incredible, but completely understandable that it's lasted this long. Most threads barely last an hour.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:46 No.5321939
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:21 No.5322193
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    Drawfag reporting for duty. Roughed out three sketches in pen, don't plan on touching them up because I'm fucking tired, but goddamn if anyone else is doing anything to help materialize this epic shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:21 No.5322197
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:22 No.5322202

    the just as planned at the end wins it for me but seriously all the MCs were fucking badass
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:23 No.5322208
         File1249284191.jpg-(68 KB, 762x764, swordnboard.jpg)
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    the drawing turned out to be bigger than the paper I drew it on, so you're missing the feet and half of the sword, but you get the gist of it
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:29 No.5322265
    finally a drawfag and nobody posts?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:32 No.5322280
    when his drawings are horribly shitty I'm not surprised.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:33 No.5322290

    sure thing Liefeld. I believe you.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:36 No.5322318
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    Aw you hurt my feelings. I know the drawings are shit, but at least I'm actually trying :/
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:37 No.5322324
    That's the problem, you keep trying.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:42 No.5322371
         File1249285321.jpg-(23 KB, 397x270, thisisyou.jpg)
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    k. let me know when the real drawfags show up. Also, pic related, it's how you would draw this
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:43 No.5322382

    that's actually better than what you posted before.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:49 No.5322444
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    Seeing as I've just gotten here, I've only had a chance to skim through the thread, but here's a sketch start for Sword n' Board.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:49 No.5322450
    another drawfag here workin on somethin, hold up while I start adding bitches and ho's to this scene.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:51 No.5322463

    NOW we're rollin'!
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:52 No.5322468
         File1249285961.jpg-(31 KB, 550x400, 1239666379156.jpg)
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    You insulted the actual drawfags by posting your shit. Now they're about to crank out some good stuff. I guess I should be thankful.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:20 No.5322650
    FUCK. I just accidentally deleted the image, starting over with P-Druid.

    Lay up on the guy, all he needs is practice. The more he draws the more he learns.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:21 No.5322659
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:22 No.5322662
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    Hey, no need for that. We just do this shit for fun.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:22 No.5322668
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    oh shit D:
    don't delete your awesomeness please :(
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:23 No.5322678
         File1249287810.jpg-(29 KB, 264x351, 1246141757729.jpg)
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    I CAME
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:26 No.5322703
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:30 No.5322729
    Holy shit, nicely done! I dare say, several step above my own works.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:33 No.5322751
    Thanks for the compliment, but you got some nice stuff too. And I hope the other drawfag keeps on practicing.

    Anycase, I don't usually ask for anything in return but can someone stat a "Helm of Biggie Smalls" please?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:35 No.5322759

    Not as powerful as the lich's hoodie. Goddamn I want it.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:37 No.5322768

    first drawfag here, thanks for the encouragement, and you've given me something to aspire to. Holy shit that picture is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:39 No.5322778
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:43 No.5322811
    Helm of Biggie Smalls
    +5 Cha
    +3 Int
    +2 Wis
    +10 to Perform Skills

    Once per day you can summon a black Escalade that operates as a mount, occupies 2x2 squares and can accommodate eight riders. It moves at five times your normal move speed.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:54 No.5322882
    danke! That sounds great!

    I'll see about doing some character one off shots before hitting the sack.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:55 No.5322886
    justice easily had the best flow.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)04:58 No.5322904
    Original drawfag here...

    Wow, just wow.

    WTF. All this shit because a simple MS Paint shitscribble.

    It really showed me the lesson of powerful imagery.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:00 No.5322913

    An image powerful enough can destroy countries, raise armies, and change lives.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:06 No.5322935
    you forgot the -20 to "not getting shot" checks.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:12 No.5322966
         File1249290750.jpg-(57 KB, 373x210, hayateapproved01.jpg)
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    This thread.

    This thread is everything wonderful about life. It belongs in a museum.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:13 No.5322975
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    with great power, comes great vulnerability
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:14 No.5322981
    Not bumping anymore.

    Post all art in a new thread.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:15 No.5322987
    hitting the maximum post count in two more posts

    Drawfags, please spam your shit all over the place tomorrow, and don't forget to archive your shit. my life will not be complete until I see your pictures.

    This thread is glorious, and should be continued.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:16 No.5322995
    >> MC Druid 08/03/09(Mon)05:17 No.5323001


    Thank god this thread is still alive.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:22 No.5323021
    this thread better still be alive when I wake up.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:28 No.5323048
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    ITT: Skill Focus (Perform).
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:32 No.5323063
         File1249291971.png-(312 KB, 523x500, points to gryffindor.png)
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    I applaud all involved. Saving this.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:37 No.5323080
    So I wasn't the only person who got that one.
    At least his feet weren't behind random rocks in every panel.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)05:53 No.5323134
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    There's no way it's going to be. Anycase, I'll have to take a rain check on character profiles for now. My apologies. Maybe I'll try again some other night.

    Anycase, have a wallpaper sized version of the rap battle to make up for it.

    Was fun ya'll.

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