"Your Holiness, there is disturbing news from Romania.It is said the Prince of Wallachia, who has been our staunch defender against the Turks and Saracens, has made a pact with the devil! Night and darkness has covered the land from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean. An unholy, massive castle has grown like a tumor across the mountain ranges, and legions of skeletons, demons, and monstrosities pour forth.The Prince has claimed "in service of God, I sell myself to the Devil" and has proclaimed to defend Christendom from the Turks "till the end of days". The Turks have already fed great armies, only for them to be returned upon stakes and spikes, but he has not made any advances upon his Christian neighbors.There is great fear and trembling among the lords of Europe your holiness, and many call for his excommunication and ponder a crusade, what should be our papal response?"
Reinforce his positions.If his actions cause God to answer, then we must all follow suit.
Rejoice because proving the devil exists proves God exists too.
>>52956802We secure the borders against any movements from his land into those of the faithful. Let the Devil's pawns fight themselves while we build our strength, inform all that should they travel into those lands, they will not be permitted to leave.
>>52956905Are you suggesting we plan a later crusade when we have sufficient force? Or wait for him to strike first, if ever.
>>52956802We must issue a papal bull urging allthe princes of christendom to join him in blessed spiritual struggle against the vile turkroaches.
>>52956802Has he killed Christians? No?Well let the man kill his Turks. A monster that serves God is more than what we can usually hope for.
>>52956939We plan for the potential of a later crusade that will sweep all the way to those heathen's home's. However should the fool remain faithful in his duties we let him be until we have him from both sides. If we are to send our sons to die in such a cursed land I will ensure that it will be so we can purify it after. Send word to him, that or build up of strength on the border is to reassure his neighbors.Be sure to send someone expendable, because nothing crosses that border then comes out again.
>>52956802I have an itching feeling this may come around to bite us if we overlook it...
>>52956802>what should be our papal response?Forgive him for the sin of consorting with the Devil and declare his army of the dead to be a miracle, of course.Saint Dracula, here we come!
>>52956802>thinking I don't hate the Turks more than I hate devilspawn>thinking I won't canonize the fucker if he manages to rid the world of the Turk
>>52956802Oh, bugger. Send that strangely dressed fellow with the whip, Delmont or whatever his name was.
Well, the dead walk the earth so I guess it's the apocalypse? So pray a lot and turn the other cheek so hard you're dizzy until the rapture happens.
>>52956802Lat the man purge the turksJust make it known to him that if he succeeds in his crusade he must kill himself
>>52956802>"in service of God, I sell myself to the Devil" and has proclaimed to defend Christendom from the Turks "till the end of days". The Turks have already fed great armies, only for them to be returned upon stakes and spikes, but he has not made any advances upon his Christian neighbors.Send ambassadors to ask how he acquired his new powers and if his deal can be replicated.
>>52957067>Saint Dracula, here we come!>>52957083>>thinking I won't canonize the fucker if he manages to rid the world of the TurkAm I the only one who wants this setting now? Vampire crusaders have the moral high ground over jihadists. ANYTHING has the moral high ground over jihadists.
>Siding with the devil against your fellow manY'all motherfuckers need Jesus more than the Turks do.
>>52957272We're siding with Dracula, technically. And what men, sir? Dat dere's a Turk.
>>52957349Dracula means Dragon. As in the Serpent. As in the Devil. Also, Dracul means Devil in Romanian. Get your head screwed on straight and stop using fire and brimstone hatred to distract you from the light of our savior. What are you? A Jew?
>>52957412>>52957405>>52957349>would rather hang with the Romanian Devil than let the Turks catch a breakJesus how bad were these guys?
>>52957412>Dracula means DragonDracul means dragon.Dracula means son of the dragon.Vlad II was called Vlad Dracul (Vlad the Dragon), Vlad III was his son (obviously, thus called Vlad Dracula).
>>52957499We really don't have a modern day mindset to appropriate a correct level of hatred for a major rival such as the Turks/Ottomans/Saracens were to Christian Europe, I dare say even against terrorists and jihadists.The closer we can get is the hatred of Communists during McCarthysm or the Nazi's in WW2. The Turks represented an entire race completely counter to your whole way of life, and percieved as one who were prepared to take over all of Europe and forcefully turn you from god or put you to the sword or slavery.Ever watched 300? How the Persians are portrayed.
>>52957547>forcefully turn you from godAnd this is how they do it. Lucifer is a deciever. Honestly, while I believe a lot of filthy peasants and political powers might join up with actually the Devil, I feel like the actual priests would crap their pants.
Anyone who kills Turks is doing God's will.
>>52957577If vlad is truely a pure and just man of the faith he will triumph over lucifer and the turksIf he fails to wipe out the turks it shows that not even the devils power can stop themAll the christian kingdoms must uniteIf he falls to the devil it shows the power and influence the devil hasIt proves that kings must stay pure as the driven snowIf he over comes the devil and turks it shows the purity and power of a righteous man
>>52957641He has openly admitted to bargaining with the devil to do black magic. That literally makes him a warlock. The only thing worse than Turks is the Devil himself. The struggle between Europe and Turks is transient and fleeting, the fight between Righteousness and Evil is eternal. Save your souls.
>ponder a crusadeIs he occupying the holy land?No? Then call me when he has driven the saracens from the holy land and then we might prep a crusade to retake it from him instead.>crusading anywhere but the holy landCommoner, please.
>>52957675Someone who merely bargains with the Devil is not as bad as a Turk, who is the Devil.
>>52957577>not seeing this as a blessing>Saint Dracul and his Castle of Ordeals will be a place to send all those spare noble sons to get treasure/honor/glory without causing a fuss>will forge badasses capable of sending the Saint to his unhallowed rest for a time>will rid the world of Turks before all this>unliving proof that there is a devil and thus a God
>>52956802"Eh, the Lord will judge him. How many heathens do you say he impaled?" *rubs hands*
>>52957695So what you're saying is that he made a bargain with the Turks? I'm not really sure how that's better.
>>52957712>allowing the devil to control swathes of gods earth unopposed>in Europe no less>a blessing>needing proof of God You sound like a heathen.
>>52956802We shall let him be, for now. So long as his appetite is satisfied with the blood of Turks we will not interfere. Let him rid the world of the heathen filth. When he has finished the vengeance of the Lord will deal with him swiftly. Dividing up his lands and fortunes amongst our loyal lords (with a healthy cut off the top for Ourselves, of course) will soothe their ruffled feathers.
>>52957757As long as he's fucking over the Turks and not everyone like in Castlevania, we'll rent him the land. Saint Dracula all fucking day.
>>52958043>renting land to THE DEVILI don't even know what I'm hearing.
>>52958131The hatred of the Turk flowing through this anon's screen.
>>52956802>ponder a crusadeGreat idea. Team up with Saint Dracula and together, we shall take back the holy land.
>>52956802>somebody just read The HistorianI dig it though, shit's tight. Historical Dracula deserves more attention
>If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of CommonsKebab will be removed.
>>52957499They'd taken Spain, Constantinople, Jerusalem (gee Mohamad, how come you get THREE holy cities?) and had basically made it impossible for Christians to float anything more significant than a wooden plank on the Mediterranean. Piracy, slave raids, and just a general disregard for farmers rights (particularly when they took North Africa) obliterated the trade web that had allowed the former Roman Empire to feed itself (remember Egypt was the bread basket of the empire.
>>52958883Jerusalem was just the cherry on top, they literally held the Holy 'Land'. That means almost all the biblical places of the new testament, which itself incorporated much of Canan.Also Damascus.
>>52958883>>52958939Man, fuck the Turks.
>>52957823I fear that allowing him to continue his unholy crusade unabated will only serve to strengthen his accursed power, such that we will be unable to put him down, when the time comes, milord.
>>52959886>fearing anything while under the banner of God
>>52959940You obviously fear the Turks enough to let the devil run riot over a third of the continent. Do you think he'll just give you the Holy Land? He'll probably burn down jersulam and rape the zombie Virgin Mary.
>>52956802>"Your Holiness, there is disturbing newHoly fuckbeans.........Why wasn't I told sooner? Before it got to this point? This isn't disturbing news. Disturbing news, is that my favorite fruit was lost at sea, and it will be two weeks till the next shipment. This is catastrophic news.I execute the messenger, and send a group of heroes to fix it.
>>52956802>some guy named Martin Luther writes 102 Theses and calls upon fellow christians to support the Saint Dracul
>>52956903We already knew both exist, though.
>>52959968A monster of God is still better than a breathing Turk.
>>52956802For shame, that you would pay heed to such foolish rumors. This prince may be mad, but he is nothing but a man, and so long as he is slaying heathens he is a servant of God. As for these tales of devils and sorcery, they are simply the childish bleatings of ignorant peasants, and no rational person should give them credence.
>>52960216This setting is just getting more fun by the moment. A world where the Reformation is caused by a split over whether weaponized vampires are OK as long as they only feed on heathens or not.
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shallt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!- Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.
>>52960272>a monster of GodIt's a monster attempting to do God's bidding. He's in the Devil's pocket now.
>>52962732Wouldn't such a schism begin in the balkans though rather than Germany? The countries most threatened by the turk would be ok with the devil himself intervening
>>52960216>Every one of the 102 thesis contain some subtle variation of "Fuck the Turks."
>>52962881Anon, the entire Balkans are now a skeleton-infested mountain range, centred on a demonic castle. The only people left who could have a Reformation are the few emaciated peasants remaining on the shores of the Adriatic or the king's court, who are hardly in a position to do so.No, the Reformation will start in Germany, among wary princes who are conflicted about sending troops to defeat such a monstrous enemy, leaving themselves open to the power plays of rivals back home. The Emperor himself is hardest pressed, his own Hungarian lands bordering the Balkans, and factions in the Imperial court vie for his approval and attention. The Pope will be a deciding factor in this, his decision at this juncture setting the course for the history of the world.
>>52962818You don't think we can spot you, filthy t*rk.Go back to your precious mongolia before Saint Dracula gets you.
>>52956802I got this.
>>52962818It's still better than Turk
>>52958883To be fair, the problem with T*rks is Islam. I'm sure they'd be fine folk if they were Christians. Or anything other than Muslim for that matter. They can be treeworshippers for all I care, whatever.
>>52957405I strictly remember reading that one of the methods of impalement was to let gravity slowly pull you down while it was penetrating your ass.
>>52963864Yep, and good ol' Drac was particularly keen on using it as a form of domestic law enforcement within his own country. When he decided to inflict it upon young mothers he was partial to impaling her infant child on the same pike, so the baby's body would slow the death of the mother and extend her suffering. A real piece of work he was.
>>52956802>implying Drac isn't the true heroThink about it. He impales his enemies on wooden stakes and leaves them out in the sun.Meanwhile, Turks are known for wearing body-covering outfits and burkas. So tell me - who is more likely to be a vampire: the Drac or the Turks?I mean, the whole plot is pretty obvious: the Drac was fighting against the vampires, they turned him, but he rebelled against his sire and staked him.Now he wanders the endless night like a fanatic he is - a vampire who is also a vampire killer with a grudge.
>>52964089This thread: >>52438077
>faustian dealsI love these as a narrative tool.I'd disprove and write a treatise on why that's fucked, but keep it and the disapproval private, and not intervene until we know more, since if it's as it's rumored, it's literally devil vs devil: neither side winning is good. There's no victory to be had with the Turks winning, or in him winning. Basically need to get a better feel for the situation with him. Perhaps I'd send a formal request to speak to him in Rome (he can still be saved). Perhaps call for forces to muster outside of Wallachia, to potentially help or crush him depending on how ridiculous this corruption is.Inevitably some Jesuit jack ass will revere him as a saint after I'm dead if I don't do something, but I can't be hasty.
>>52962761Ye olde bantz elevated to an art form. The ultimate proof that you can control an empire the size of a continent and it won't intimidate the Cossacks.
Question. Is it OUR devil? If so he's allowed to do as he pleases so long as it results in the extermination of Turks. God almighty has dominion over the devil, and in turn over Vlad.
>>52962818>A man who sold himself into damnation and perdition for the sake of his fellow man>It's a monster attempting to do God's bidding>Defender of the faithful at the cost of his own happinessHe has suffered and died for the faith. He is technically a martyr.Saint Vlad the Dragon. He shall command the next crusade to retake the holy land.
>>52964045Do we have a source for that that isn't Turkish or a political opponent?
Arthur, get the fucking cross.
Which is worse? A Turkire or a Vampurk?
>>52963864Well, it would stop penetrating your ass after a few centimeters, and would just rip through your intestines and then slide on happily through your internal organs.
Amass forces from all over christendom, accept Orthodox refugees and await the response of Muscovy. I have the firm belief that if we were to unite, we could defeat this heretic in due time. His armies will be drained, and ours will not. Clearly, this is a test, and one that we must defeat in due time.God always prevails, and even evil men can follow His will.
>>52957269>Saint Dracula, here we come!That's metal as fuck. "For he so loved Christendom that he gave up his immortal soul on its behalf." I can just see that shit rendered in the style of Requiem.
That really calls for some end-of-days C.S. Lewis style asspull shit where Dracula's like, "Well, I did what I set out to do. I'm ready for the fire, now." and Heaven just takes him anyway because no one else has martyr'd as hard as he did.
He's Lawful Good, we'll be fine
I wish that shitty Dracula movie was like this.
>immortal, bloodsucking predators that can raise the dead>muslimsDamn thats a real tough dilemma.
>Dracula is actually a vampire>And gems torturing and killing the shit out of Muslims even harder than he did IRLWhy even live on in this dreary waste in the face of such sublime fantasy
>>52964440Not for anyone with a lick of sense. Muslims are far worse.
>>52964487>would allow a LITERAL servant of Satan walk on God's world to see a couple muslims killedFound the jew. Burn him.
>>52964531>couple muslims killedYou mean huge fucking armies. Also he is a servant of God that has made a deal with the devil. HUGE difference
>>52964219>dying for the faith but not in itHe really is a tragic figure. Bonus points if he doesn't let his army fight Christians after they call a crusade against him.>>52964531>He doesn't think Muslims are LITERAL servants of SatanFound the retard. Was it inbreeding or indoctrination?
>>52964597>Also he is a servant of God that has made a deal with the devil.That only works within the theology of either Islam or Judaism.Only those two feature Satan as just another servant of God.Anyone who deals with Satan in Christianity is an enemy of God.
>>52956802We need to stake this bloodsucker right the fuck now.As soon as the muslim infidels realise the power of the Devil's gifts, they will surely embrace that evil themselves. And since they lack good Christian values, they will undoubtedly pursue those powers with far greater vigour than any righteous man would. If we do nothing, then pretty soon the entire Holy Land is going to be a raging shitpile of unholy darkness, against which we will be utterly powerless.We must make a stand, here and now. Otherwise, come Judgement Day, we're all going to be on the Lord's shitlist for not dealing with this bullshit when we had the chance.
>>52964531Real christians don't give a fuck about Satan, Satan is powerless and irrelevant. You can worship Satan all you like and still get into Heaven so long as you repent, anyway.There is only one sin that Jesus won't forgive, and the bible doesn't really make it clear what "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" actually is.
>>52964631>suddenly the king of England cuts all communications with Rome, and French noblemen with holdings in Bretagne and Normandy speak of dark clouds floating over England>up in the north, the swedes and moscovites talk about finnish military aggression and ravenous wolves and bears mauling villagers in ever increasing numbers
>>52964668>Real christians don't give a fuck about Satan, Satan is powerless and irrelevant. You can worship Satan all you like and still get into Heaven so long as you repent, anyway.In modern theology, yes.Try to float that shit 700 years earlier, and see how fast someone rams a messer down your gullet.
>>52964626That would make him a heretic but and blasphemous infideles are arguably worse
>>52957499janissaries were playing bayonette-ball with christian babies from time to time
>>52964690>That would make him a heretic but and blasphemous infideles are arguably worseHahahaha, no. Read a fucking history book instead of meming like a fucking faggot.
>>52964701>posts a picture of japanese soldiersAre you really retarded?
>>52964716Anon there arent any pictures of Janissaries from that era playing 'bayonette-ball' due to the whole camera thing. I assume he used the picture of japs because they're doing the action he described.
>>52964716Oh fuckbrb committing sudoku
>>52964727Why the fuck would he post a picture of Japanese soldiers bayonetting a FUCKING DOLL along with a post about janissaries playing bayonette-ball with Christian babies?
>>52964679It's been in the book from the start. The Inquisition was merely convenient excuses to eliminate competition and malcontents """legally""". Same as every other witch trial.
>>52964705Most crusades have been against heretics (muslims) instead of pagans (northeast Europe)
>>52964744As I said because they are doing the action he described, even if it is with a doll (no idea if it is or not). Its not even labelled 'Janissaries' the filename says CE mooks.Calm your fucking autism anon.
>>52964752You have to have been a Christian and then committed heresy before you can be a heretic. You fucking can't be a heretic in a faith that isn't yours.
>>52964705No historical proof. If we go by years of dealing with problems as a priority list then heresy is about 600 years lower on the priority list than the infidels. Also do I sense butt hurt in that comment?
>>52964606>>dying for the faith but not in itHe really is a tragic figure.>Bonus points if he doesn't let his army fight Christians after they call a crusade against him.He and the afflicted just stand there before the crusaders, waiting for the sun to rise. He does not know if he still counts as one of God's creatures and he would not allow a fellow Christian to sully their hands on his behalf.If it is a clear day then God requests their death, if it is sufficiently overcast then they have been judged not beyond redemption.In either case he has signed documents turning his lands over to the Church on the event of his death under the condition that they in turn hand the lands over to a good Christian king.
>>52964757You stop defending a fucking retard, faggot. Someone with no education might pop in this thread, assume that picture featured janissaries stabbing a baby and made a fool of himself as soon as someone with a basic understanding of history saw it.
>>52964669>Pope comes out>says fuck this shit>giant hole opens over rome> starts shitting out angles and saints>Roland invades england>angles got fuck up the turks and help vlad>saints go to help out with shit in scandinavia
>>52964767Except for some Islamists. They believe that all people are effectively Muslim but have rejected the teachings of Muhammed. This is one of the reasons it's ok to kill you for abandoning the one true faith.I wish I was making it up. :P
>>52964785Why the fuck do you care if some assholes makes a fool of himself on an anonymous imageboard?
>>52964775Because killing heretics typically doesn't pay much gold. Killing blaspheming pagans and muslims does pay lots of gold and land.The only times when killing heretics pays lots of gold is when you're crusading against the Byzantines, or when you're killing off the Templars who are all jewish muslim money-lending Beelzebub worshippers.
>>52964800Because unlike you, I care about history, and I like it when people learn more about history.
>>52956802Send an emissary urging him to repent and save his immortal soul.
>>52964814Then calling him a dumbass and lecturing him about the IJA should make you just as happy, correct?
>>52956802FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT DRACULA WAS KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS BETRAYED BY *CHRISTIANS* WHO WANTED TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE SARACENSTHE FUCKING HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR SOLD HIM OUT TO GET RID OF HIM
>>52964852If your caps is broken you can hold down shift to type in lower case you know...
>>52964631>And since they lack good Christian values, they will undoubtedly pursue those powers with far greater vigour than any righteous man wouldSatan isn't going to buy souls that are his already. You only get to sell your soul for power, if it's a noble and just soul that would otherwise be heaven bound.
>>52964841What the fuck is your problem? You're from some kind of pussy country where a teacher can't call you a fucking dumb cunt when you make a fucking dumb mistake?>>>/tumblr/And never come back.
>>52957412See>>52957513In any case, the Order of the Dragon were defenders of Christendom.
Reminder that only a Jew or Muslim would willingly cooperate with a servant of Satan.
>>52964814If people on 4chan are dumb enough to think that's a picture of a jannisary, then they are beyond teaching.
>>52964872THIS WAY YOU FUCKING HEAR MEFUCK YOU CORVINUS
>>52964914That would be a "heretic". It had nothing to do with being an infidel.
Damn I really wanna play this now.
>>52964952CAW CAW CAW!
>>52958461My favourite Churchill quote after the 'In the morning, I shall be sober' one.
>>52964963I think it would make for an excellent low tech DH or find game. Reminds me of Curse of Strahd. But here you can explore the limits of faith and "Goodness". In short : fuck yeah
>>52956802Given the track record of the crusades, if they aimed at Romania they'd probably hit Istanbul by accident so launch one and it'll be win-win.
>>52964963A team of Papal agents sent to investigate wtf is actually going on
>>52957499Overrated by an entire continent that spends all days pissing its pants at the idea that some people in the world look different from them.
>>52964989>DH gameIG general turns to sorcery to fight heretics
>>52965021And here we have an ignorant summer child that knows literally nothing of the brutality of the Ottoman invaders.
>>52965065Ottomans didn't have shit on Italian mercenaries.
>>52965062He himself becoming the evil he so much wanted to destroy. This can make for a very cool game with some very grey and blurred lines .
>>52965021I do wonder who could be behind this post.
>>52965085I am new and I don't get this...
>>52956802>has made a pact with the devil! Night and darkness has covered the land from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean. An unholy, massive castle has grown like a tumor across the mountain ranges, and legions of skeletons, demons, and monstrosities pour forth.How come no one fucking talks about this shit?It's a fucking demonic cloud that can be SEEN FROM THE FUCKING VATICAN!This is some fucking end-of-times shit. Better start marching towards Armaggedon for the Final War against the Antichrist.
>>52965021I once knew a man that ran a Kebab shop. Nice man. We called him Sunny, not his actual name but it's what he liked to be called. He and his brother came here from Turkey when they were teenagers. They didn't come with their parents. When we asked why he told us that the last time the saw their parent's they were hanging from the rafters of the barn on their families farm. Neither Mr Sunny or his brother had big toes, just badly healed scar tissue where toes should be. They were Kurds.But oh no that must surely be wrong. Turks at gud bois dey dindu nuffin.
>>52962761>Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over thereawesome
>>52956802he fights our enemies and serves our purpose, he has been a steadfast ally who has sacrificed much for our cause - so long as he stays his current course there is no need to interfere, let god judge the righteousness of his actions once all is done.
>>52965101>SEEN FROM THE FUCKING VATICAN!I assume not. Otherwise we wouldn't need a messenger to tell us about it. We could jsut look out the window and be all, "dafuq this cloud shit"
>>52962761>, and the crick in our dick.lol'd
>>52965101>can be SEEN FROM THE FUCKING VATICAN!Flat-Earther's plz go. The writings of the Virtuous Pagans and the studies of our own priests confirm the Lord's Earth is spherical and approximately 7,200 leagues in diameter.
>>52962761Those wacky cossacks!
>>52965005>a whole party of paladins, monks, and clerics all desperately looking for any hint of heresy or lack of faith in each other, ready to snitch back to Rome at the drop of a hatJesus what an insufferable shitshow. I love it.
>>52964799That shits in the Quran.
>>52965127You would know about a cloud, but not why that cloud was there.
>>52965172>what is the stratosphereDo you have any idea how fucking huge that cloud should be to cover the entire land between the Black Sea and the Mediterranean into pitchblack nightly darkness?
>>52964767Nah, many christian branches consider all abrahamic faiths part of christianity, and thus consider muslims and jews heretics.
>>52965348>Night and darkness has covered the land from the Black Sea to the MediterraneanDo we even know that there is a cloud? It could be that the sun simply refuses to shine on Wallachia. Or it could be metephorical night and darkness.Call the cardinals! We need to have a discussion on the nature of clouds!
>>52965400Is that modern branches or historical branches?You can't just shit modern Christianity into a medieval setting.>>52965513Hold up, I think I have some Greek text on cloud gazing somewhere here...Text says we need to burn a lot of incense, inhale the smoke, and then lie on our backs looking at clouds.
>>52965603>Is that modern branches or historical branches?Both
>>52964887People like you need to be shot in the streets. your fucking autism and angry bullshit is ruining this thread. fuck off cunt
>>52965101And is only harming the Turks. As long as they get their Reckoning first, Saint Dracul can wait.
>>52965715>the whole balkan swarming with demons and monsters>only harming the TurksSomeone didn't pay attention in history class, or geography class.
>>52965513>pope sends party of knights to go fuck up shit>you must chose between protestism, catholism, draculism, or generic ccgristianit instead of raceI now want to play a party consisting of a iberian inquisitor, french knight, preist from the vatican and a romanian crusader as they all try to backstab each other
>>52965766>the whole balkan swarming with demons and monsters>somehow different from ottoman domination of the region
>>52965819It is a considerable improvement if you ask me
>>52965770All of my yes
>>52965819>demons and monsters all forced to fuck up the ottomans or get rekt by vladNothing wrong
>>52965819Mephistopheles > mongoloid sultan
After dealing with the Ottomans, Vlad should turn his attention to the Hungarians, the eternal betrayers.
>>52966336See, this right here, this right here is why we should exterminate this satanism right away.>first the ottomans>than the hungarians>then the germans>now we march to rome
>>52966360The Hungarians are traitors though, especially to fellow Christians. The king of Hungary was embezzling money that was meant to be passed onto Vlad, to fund his war against the Ottomans, so when the time came to talk about what happened to the money, he spouted a load of bullshit and imprisoned Vlad. Even before Vlad, they fucked people over. Like the Serbs. After the battle for Kosovo, where Serbs pretty much sent every single man of fighting age, and had a MAD clash with the Ottoman army, the widow of the Serb leader asked for help from her fellow Christian neighbors. Hungarians proceeded to invade and raid the Serb lands, leaving the widow no choice but to become a vassal to the Ottomans even before they fully moved in, in order to protect her people.
>>52966360You over react to radical heathens brotherWhat the duke does is for greater good of all christian kingdomsHe knows the crime and we will send preist to make sure he stays pure
>>52966456>He knows the crime and we will send preist to make sure he stays deadFixed that for you.
>>52966649Careful how you speak archdeaconI hear the pope doesn't care much for murderous intent
>>52966360Nah, man. after having your sons and daughters stolen away by Turkish devils, you'd choose to eliminate them by whatever means too.Saint Dracul knew that and chose the path of martyrdom.
>>52966730>implying you can murder the undeadThe proper word is destruction.
>>52965253>>52965770Yessss gimme that party drama.
>>52965253>>52965770Bonus points if the group as a whole don't share the same language. Only 3/4 of the party can converse at the same time.
You heathens know not of holy writ, merely mortal hate. You will be judged and found wanting by the Father.Consorting with devils makes men devils. Burn the monster to the ground and scour their lands. God will know his own.
>>52965253>a whole party of paladins, monks, and clerics all desperately looking for any hint of heresy or lack of faith in each other, ready to snitch back to Rome at the drop of a hat>Jesus what an insufferable shitshow. I love it.The Name of the Rose Traveling Roadshow, now featuring Hussars, Cathars, Lollards, Dullards, and anywhere between zero and two popes.Because if you aren't setting your games during the Papal Schism, you're missing out.
>>52967152Well, they'd all speak Latin, at least. It's one of the major real-world setting touchpoints.Now, they might not speak /good/ Latin, and some of them might have bought their way into high office and can only speak Flemish or something, but at least in theory, they'd share a language.
And in the hills, somehow at least one valley and three mountains over from wherever you thought it was, is Scholomance, the Devil's School.There, the Devil personally instructs 10 pupils in the arcane arts, in languages, history, politics, religion, alchemy, and any other art known to science or forbidden by God. When the schooling is complete, the Devil releases 9 scholars to plague the world and keeps the 10th for himself.If the Prince of Wallachia was one of the 9 pupils, who were the other 8?
>>52957547>We really don't have a modern day mindset to appropriate a correct level of hatred for a major rival such as the Turks/Ottomans/Saracens were to Christian Europe, I dare say even against terrorists and jihadists.This is... not entirely right.Everyone cut deals with the Sultan, from the English to the Italians. Even the Pope. Especially the Venetians. They might be despised but there's not really a sense, outside of Hungary and Poland (who couldn't cut deals) of this overwhelming xenophobic fear. Past the 3rd Crusade, every political power in the region is playing the same game, at more or less the same table. It's not until Constantinople falls that the pendulum swings back to fear and hatred.
>>52964089Stealing this !!
>Literally driving the servants of the devil back to hell in the face of armageddon. Magnificent.
So what system would be best to run a game in this setting?
>>52968103>So what system would be best to run a game in this setting?Name 5 themes or elements you believe to be essential to this setting, and then we can help. Problem is to nebulous.5 ThemesToneTime PeriodMagic and Magic Level3 thematically similar or inspirational Video Games, Films, or Novels
I swear that my family's bloodline shall never enter heaven until we slay the beast!
>>52967447MoctezumaThe Grandmaster of the Teutonic OrderThe Emperor of ChinaThe Kang of KongoSome dude in the AmazonAn Indian Rajah
>>52968090With faith and gunpowder shall we drive the darkness back!
>>52968175A game of this set in 1462 that is dynastic, chronicling the PCs families and the evolution of Europe with the Son of the Dragon.Mostly because I want to see Dracula being sent to the New World not to steal their women but to do battle.
>>52964089>D is actually a vampire hunterThis makes too much sense
>>52968103Lamentations of the flame princess.
>The holy roman empire has turned their back on the romanians, betraying them>But we will not stand for this >the blood of the matrys run deep within the blood of france>We shall nit give in to those barbaric tyrants, we shall not watch as they invite the living devil into our houses>we shall not stand by as they steal european money, myrder european men, and rape european women>we shall push them back>no betrayers we stop us >VIVA FRANCE>VIVA ROMANIA>VIVA EUROPE>VIVA SAINT DRACUL-King Louis XI after being conviced by judge claude frollo to side with Vlad
>>52968760>frollo>siding with gypsies
>>52956802>killing heathens and peasantsNo one cares.Cf. Gilles de Rais. He practiced witchcraft and tortured country girls, and nobody batted an eye as long as he did well into battle and paid his taxes.
>>52968760Wasn't france allied with the turks?
>>52968781>fucking vlad the impailer>gypsy
>>52968867>Roma are gypsies>Vlad lives in ROMAnia
>>52968867>romanian>not a gypsieYou'll have to explain this one to me.
>>52968903>>52968916The actual romanians fucking hate the gypsys
>>52968949>I-I swear we aren't gypsiesSounds exatcly like the kind of thing a gypsie would say.
>>52968927So if anything they would side against vlad
>>52968949As if I'd believe a gyppo.
>>52965770I had a game like this.The party was sent out after reports of demons decimating villages in Eastern Poland.A tired and grizzled knight who was on the run after his Lord caught him in the act of courtly love with his wife. He was from Normandy.Another player was his squire, who was still young and fairly new to the world.A Hospitaller who had returned from the Holy Land. A Frenchman who was too devout for his own good.A dandy German Prince who fancied himself as the Swan KnightAnd Benedictine Monk named Louis.Later they picked up a Polish Knight, a Teutonic Knight, and a Lithuanian.Most of the group got by through broken French or Latin, and there was plenty of shit-talking. The GM encouraged players to come up with crazy histories for weapons: The German Prince was running around with what he claimed was Siegfried's, the Hospitaller's Sword was the one used to behead John the Baptist and was possessed by a demon, and our the Pole in our party showed up with the Sword of St. Peter. Every personality in the party clashed and half the RP was the characters bickering and trying to one-up each other as the better knight. Plus there were drunken fights with locals and all sorts of shenanigans, until the monk revealed himself as Lucifer and he was using us to spread mistrust and act as a vanguard for his armies. The finale was everyone but the squire dying in a glorious charge against a demonic horde, which may or may not have been Mongols. Shit was great.
>>52968998>Polish Knight, a Teutonic Knight, and a Lithuanianwew
>>52968949>>52968966>>52968993Romanians kept gypsy slaves
>>52969029>a pole, a teutonic knight, a lithuanian and a prussian walks into a bar
>>52968986Setting aside religious differences to put down zombie hordes? I could see that.
>>52969079More like>Setting aside religious differences to put down habsburg hordes
>>52968175Themes: Political intriguing, good evil and where does one draw the line, the struggles of the people vs the ones of those in command, vampires, war Tone :Grim darkness Time period: 15th century Magic and Magic Level: mid level something around WHFRP Drakula, Game of thrones, The Tudors
>>52969029>>52969053Our GM had them regularly make checks to avoid trying to murder each other.
Hey come on guys, the Turks aren't that bad!
>>52956802official condemnationselling your soul to the devil can't be encouragedunofficial supportlet's keep him friendly and maybe we can get them to wipe each other outor at the very least give us time to levy army's to deal with this new devil when he turns on us
>>52968672I was thinking that, or also some houseruled Clockwork & Chivalry to add divine miracles to go with its black magic and hermetic magic. Fantastic Heroes and Witchery also has White/Black magic classes and a Priest class that relies directly on divine intervention instead of D&D style cleric spells.
>>52968998Sounds wicked chivalrous.
>>52969170AM NOT GYPSY GIB MONEY OR YOU RACIST
>>52957691>not knowing of the albigensian crusade or the baltic crusadenigger, please
>>52969170I could see the french trying to fuck over the HRE
>>52968627Right in the name
>>52968949As does anyone who has ever interacted with the worthless thieving shits all the way back to before the muslims drove them out of India to afflict the rest of the world.But I would take their company over the fucking Turks.
Oh, good, they're distracted. Now the graves of my fathers and the temples of the gods will go undisturbed.
Weaponizing the forces of evil for good is many things. Most importantly, it can be very effective as demonstrated by Saint Vald Of The Kabob Skewer.
>>52963170I could imagine how Vienna feels about this, being besieged by Turks by day, and fear the son of the Devil by night.
>>52964852>FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT DRACULA WAS KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS BETRAYED BY *CHRISTIANS* WHO WANTED TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE SARACENS500 years later we pull the same thing again, Western powers betraying a Christian Serbia to make peace with Muslim Bosnia
>>52970384Serbian salt mine still at peak efficiency I see.
>Ottomans realize the most effective weapons against these hordes are silver and gold core bullets (melee weapons prove too slow in the hands of humans against werewolves and demons)>Ramp up their already considerable gunpowder investment
>>52970114HONHONHON ZEE VAT MOI DID ZERE HONHON?VERY HOW YOU SAY, THE CLEVER NON?
>>52970569Faith and gunpowder, pasha!
>>52970569I don't think they would go toe to toe with literal demons.Unless they can surround the "hellscape"I propose moving a large army to Ukraine and besieging Vlad lands.
>>52970663>besieging a living Biblical disaster that thirsts for he TurkNah. might be better to watch the frogs.
>>52970663Refining artillery would probably be the highest Ottoman priority. A fuck off giant castle like that would inspire a new call for better cannon.
>>52970569>Ottoman alchemists vs. Central European warlocks vs. Western European clerics
>>52970792>artillery train gets harassed by swarms of giant bats
>>52970792They also begin to realize the most effective melee weapon against fast charging big monsters is massed, long pointed sticks, like a pike.Most effective is a combination of trained pike formations, mixed in with men with shot weapons
>>52956802Quotes within quotes are indicated by single quotation marks.
>>52970835>trying to force way into massive black castle>Hakim was dragged off by giant bats into the night>Abdihakim had his throat ripped out by a pack of red eyed wolves almost as big as horses>they didn't even eat him, what the fuck?>can't even go enjoy camp prostitutes as some of them are sporting lengthy teeth that make you nervous>Abdihakim got up again and is strangling the guy beside you to death while eating him alive
>>52957547Please read this >>52967609Not even that anon but you're seriously deluded about medieval politics.
>>52971296So, Ottomans=Imperial Guard?
>>52971615If Chaos were actually focused against them, yes.
>>52971296>finally get into inner sanctum>its another fucking castle>the corpses on the sticks come alive and kill everyone>make it out in time to warn the others>mfw the entire 60 battalions they sent as reinforcements were all killed in the night by bats and the camp prostitutes
>>52971789>mfw Dracula raises the armenians and the kurds>mfw we get invaded by hordes of demons and undead from fucking everywhere
Hey guys I hired this weird Doctor of Strange Disease and Antiquities to help out, but he's a little weird so...And has anyone seen my wife Lucy?
>>52971789>>52971296So, the moral of the story is to always visit the camp prostitutes, right?Because if you're going to die anyway, having a qt3.14 drink your blood sounds way better than being torn apart by demonic bats and zombies.
>>52972014I'd say it would be to stay your Turkish ass out of Romania but toothy camp prostitutes is a better way to go than most.
>>52972014>implying the camp prostitutes haven't got dicks>implying you aren't going to get impaled one way or another
>>52956802Didn't this guys head end up in istanbul anyway?
>>52972141Nothing wrong with futa.
>>52957675Nowhere in the Holy Book does it say we must prevent devils from killing each other.You sound suspiciously like someone who had interests in the Turk taking over Vallachia.
This monster's brother is a good friend of the Sultan and after taking our faith he has vowed to destroy his evil brother.Allah willing we will destroy this worshipper of evil!
>Turks lay siege to Vienna. >This time, the winged hussars fail to arrive in time. >The gates of Europe are open to the conquering empire.>Christendom has failed.>So men turn to darker, older rites. Cue Dracula, Wotan, fae, etcetera.
>>52972392You mean the Sultan's butt buddy Radu? Who couldn't even handle a forest of impaled corpses? Who gave his country and his ass to the Turks?Fuck 'em.
>>52956802"Wait so if he's Jewish now is he enforcing Judaism on his subjects or not?"
>>52972658>Turks lay siege to Vienna. >This time, the winged hussars fail to arrive in time. >This time "winged" hussars arrive>Christendom is getting weird>Men have turned to darker, older rites.
>>52972804Come to think of it, Poland did have a lot of Jews back then... Getting old testament angels would make sense.
>>52968454>MoctezumaIf there was anyone in that whole clusterfuck that got his way again and again defying all logic and protected by a series of events that can only be explained by supernatural intervention, it was Cortez.Moctezuma, Cuahutemoc and Cuitlahuac fought the favourite son of the Devil himself and all those indian souls would now belong to the dark one if it wasn't for the brave sacrifice of our franciscan brothers.
>>52970133Well, the devil's legions are stopping the towelheads. But a devout Christian state can't be having servants of Lucifer right over the border, can they? But then again, if they weren't, the T*rks would probably be sieging Vienna right now...
The fuck is happening in this thread
>>52973428T*rks are being removed.
>>52973428The Ottoman Empire is driving out the Satanists with technology and piety.
>>52973466Ah, getting rid of wannabe Europeans. eh?>>52973494That actually sounds rad. Is this a DnD campaign or board game or something I have no idea
>>52965085I blame Tim Buckley
>>52956802Send crusades to wipe out the those turk fucking shits. As far as I'm concerned the prince won't go anywhere in the future so we can deal with him later.
>>52973511We could make one.
>>52964261 Judas Iscariot tried to hang himself after Jesus' crucifixion, except God smote him by making him immortal, making the sun his enemy, and making it so he could only survive by feeding on the blood of the innocent as an eternal reminder that he was so willing to sacrifice the most innocent blood of all.Judas was, according to some interpretations of the bible, the father of all vampires.The redemption story that could come from his descendants would be quite interesting.
>>52956802Are we sure this is the Devil, and not a servant of the Light granting Saint Dracul the power to drive the ACTUAL servants of the dark back? I mean the guy stakes and impales them on wooden pikes, and leaves them in the morning sun, and Turks are always covering their bodies as if hiding something.
>>52973494More like vlad is kicking ass and accidently founding a splinter religion while turks are becoming unstoppable technological giants but still can't get passed romania
>>52973757>implying the Devil isn't a servant of God
...what was wrong with the ottomas please dont fucking kill me
>>52974579>Gheorghe>get the stake
>>52974579They were the world's largest military power at the time, dedicated to invading Christendom to spread Islam and enslave the Europeans.The Ottoman war against Europe during the renaissance is basically what LoTR is about.
>>52974579Constantinople and the Armenian Genocide are the two biggest offenses in my book
>>52974579Belligerent, slave holding, expansionist power. Much like the Roman empire, it's pretty to historians that enjoy the look of expanding borders and to those that were the favored caste empire, but those that were conquered by were subjected to atrocities as a matter of course. There is a great deal of bad blood, especially those that felt their national destiny was robbed by the empire.
>>52974630>>52974708Thought Tolkien just didn't like blacks.Were they that different from other powers at the time? Quite a few empires were belligerent as hell. Also, were they Turks specifically or an amalgamation of a few peoples?
>england and france see the threat rising in the east>they decide to bury the hatchet and become an alliance>help castile push back the moors>unites iberia>western union forms>final piece of resistence is forming the western church>pope begins to shit himself as knights in the west become unexplainbly powerful
>>52974483Well if your talking about Samael then I guess. He was still an eldritch abomination that dislike our guts though. Maybe not full bore Evil, but still not someone you wanted to meet. Then again he WAS a direct creation of the Jews, so who knows.
>>52974858Moors were gone from Spain a hundred years by this time mate, unless you're talking about secret muslim worshippers. >>52974783I would argue no, but I haven't studied the Ottoman Empire all that much. I would question if they were a threat to the whole of Christendom as well- the Ottomans and Venetians were allies around this time trying to keep the Portuguese out of their eastern trade routes, and of course the French liked their help against the Habsburgs who were blobbing across Spain, Austria, and the Netherlands around this time too. Not to mention the fun times that were the thirty years war at this time... All that being said, bad is still bad. It's probably scant comfort to those under the Ottomans that it was run of the mill tyranny.
>>52975027We still haven't given the Spanish their dues after kicking out those that needed to go.
>>52975074Yes, we owe the Spanish so much more.
>>52975074The Spanish empire could have a lot of cool stuff going for it, considering at this time they had a global presence. The Americas, India, trade with China, outposts in Africa, Austria, the Low Countries...
>>52974579They pretty much caused the african slave trade and the amerindian genocide by proxi of trying to choke christendom out of resources. They completely devastated the balkans and ruined everything rome had built.
>>52975193If soain france and england all formed a western alliance and colonized spain would literally own 2 continenetsTheirs also the fact the the spanish inquisition is actualky useful know abd doing more good than harm
>>52975193I read an interesting theory that said the fact that they controlled so much gold held them back. There was little need to develop new technologies or techniques when you could just pay people to get things done.
>>52975235Well yeah then fuck them.
>>52975355Also inflationInflation fucked them hardSpain had so much gold that they were able to rebuild the armada extreemly fast This happened multiple timesNow imagine a world were spain had friendly beitisg finnacial advisors
>>52975452>finnacial advisorsHey I'm one of those! They should buy mutual funds so I can get comps from the sale. Any fund will do just sign here.
>>52975452Fuck meant english
>>52975355There's an economic term for that. Dutch disease.
>>52957405>Vlad was disappointed in the reviews for his sex palace>apparently being impaled was not popular with everyone
>>52969102>>52968672Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of LotFP, but for this, it'd be perfect.>>52968454Decent list
>>52976606OSR stuff still feels a little too stiff for something like this.
>>52977069Depends on how you want your politicing, I suppose.Personally, I'd write an Apocalypse World hack specifically for this game, but I'm weird that way.
>>52977512I still think that Clockwork and Chivalry / Renaissance Deluxe is the best fit. It even has Satanic Black Magic and a Righteousness system for all the interparty conflict that comes from having a party full of religious zealots and slavs.
>>52977904You're aware that not everyone is up to speed on every single system?Also, this thread is full of amazingly bad pop history. It's a goldmine. I mean, look at this post>>52975347It's beautiful. I should make a composite screenshot of all this shit and mail it to my old medieval history prof. It'd be interesting to see if he died of an aneurysm or of laughter.
>>52956802Why are we attacking a common ally? At least Satan is still a child of God, unlike those who dwell in the East.
>>52978303My favorite is this post:>>52975235"The Ottoman Empire is responsible for the amerindian genocide and the African slave trade!"Not, y'know, the people that were doing the slave trading or killing the natives of the Americas. And yes i know that the Ottoman Empire was like neck deep in slave trading, but referring to the African slave trade in the same breath as the amerindian genocide makes me think they're referring to the triangle trade. Also, 'choke christendom out of resources.' What? Like, Europe was starving because the Ottomans were sitting on the silk road? That EVERY christian was dying for lack of spices and silk that they just had to go depopulate a pair of continents? We're just going to ignore the Venetian trade with the Mamluks and Ottomans?
>>52963805Well, they used to be christians before Mohammed showed up. Most christians who did not convert were executed, raped, raped and executed. Some of them got off with paying a tax, but were still horribly mistreated by their Muslim overlords. And even the christians that weren't killed by the government had a tendency to be murdered by angry mobs of muslims or have their churches burned down with them inside.
>>52978583Turks were from the central asian steppe, so they were Tengriist.Also, you are missing some crusades in that map.
>>52978583>No cross on Constantinople.
>>52978671>No crosses in Saxony
>>52978583>>52978671>>52978757Probably ought to include Prussia, Poland, Lithuania and most of Spain and Portugal if you count the Reconquista as a crusade.
>>52978665>Turks were from the central asian steppe, so they were Tengriist.So were Mongols before they converted. Also Turks from Altai look nothing like Turks of Anatolia which can be only explained as the result of widespread liberation of the region.
>>52974783The Ottoman empire carried out 3 distinct genocides:>Greek (1913-1922) - during which the Greek christians was subjected to massacres, death marches, deportations and executions killing between 450k to 750k.>Assyrian (1914-1920) - during which the Assyrians were massacred, executed, deported and forced starvation killing between 150k to 300k>Armenian (1915-1923) - during which Armenian christians were subjected to massacres, deportations, death marches and forced starvation killing 1.5 millionThat is not including the usual expansionism, fondness of slavery, sharia law, etc.
>>52967447VyasaThe author of "Aldaraia sive Soyga vocor"Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers
>>52979158I guess I should have rephrased to try and narrow the range of contemporaries.If the Prince of Wallachia was one of 9 pupils, who were the other 8 students in his graduating class?
>>52979194Johannes HarliebAhmad ibn ‘Ali al-Buniare probably a start.
>>52969476https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-Ottoman_allianceBaguette and kebab have long been allies.
Not a fan of D&D, but you could get a similar setup in Forgotten Realms. Zhentarim expansion forces local king to make a deal with Asmodan in the name of protecting his people. I could even imagine Asmodan genuinely wanting to deal with the Zhentarim, partially because they compete in the same market, partially because to Asmodan Bane is an upstart punk who's greener than grass, and a filthy mortal as well, who needs to be put in his place. Kids these days, stealing godhood like it's candy.
>>52965021One of the largest diaspora in my city are Armenians. They would like to have a word with you.
>>52979758Or in L5R the Crabs getting help from gaijin against the Shadowlands.
>>52978973Okay someone please link me the archived thread because I am dying here
>>52956903Ring a ding ding
>>52958461This And that quote is great
>>52959107Now your getting it my dudePhysically remove kebab Raid the Turks kick their shit in and take their cool hats
>>52962951It just like in tiny print in between the lines
>>52964089That makes a stupid amount of sense
>>52965085I've been here too longAnd it's to late to leave
>>52969170> macron supporter detected
Here's what we do. Either we create an original fantasy scenario for this, or we fucking kick out ALL the /pol/ cunts with their retarded American lack-of-historical-knowledge because fuck the amount of sheer stupidity in both history and geography in this thread is [triggering] my autism all the way up to 11.Holy fucking shit, because there's a lot of fucking retarded meme-history in this thread.
>>52981669And yet rather than actually post sources and illuminate the darkness of ignorance you hate so much, you whined like a total bitch.