The wind picks up in the blasted land below, blowing sand in your eyes. It whispers "Oh...? But did you not call your fury to fight that elf...? Did you not charge into confrontation with your mother at the gates...? Have you not been shameless in your flirting... treating people like meat...?"
"Everything I have done, I have done for my own reasons! This is not what I wish to be!" You cry into the sand as it gusts faster and faster.
"oh...? but look at you...! You are an orc... an ugly, hairy, smelly orc!"
The wind forces you to collapse to one knee
"You bastard!" You scream out, surprised at the volume of your own voice "You bastard!"
You are crying openly now, at the injustice of being so close, only to have it taken away. You whisper softly into the sand... in a final defiance... "At least... at least I'm sexier than you..."
A moment of perfect silence passes, then the ground begins to rumble and shift. It starts to ripple and change at random, and you are no longer in a blasted wasteland. A familiar and comforting weight from your chest warns you that you are once again wearing your dress, back in your own body, though to your alarm, you are also still carrying the axe.
"ho ho... This is what the orc believes is it...? and what would the orc rather be...? Besides... he he... a woman."
Words leap to your throat. A Queen, a princess, a singer, a diva, a bard. A bard! But these words are nothing save pale annotations of your truest desires.
You open your mouth. And sing.