>King asks for goblins to be "taken care of">Provide them with suitable shelter, beds and 3 hot meals a day
>>51915763>six months later the goblin population has doubled>back to square one except now you're spending a whole bunch of money>Also, a larger force can be rallied against you by calling on their fed kin
>>51916080>you get back>goblin kind has reached a enlightenment because of the shelter and food ypu gave them and have called for peace with the kingdom
>Player Character declares himself "Lord of Cocks">Is now the proprietor of a flourishing barn of chicken
>>51915763fuck off, paladin
>>51915763>King has you and your stupid goblins murdered by competent adventurers because you're a pedantic asshole and he's quite frankly sick of your shit.Congrats, you did it.
>>51916103>He has a brood of cockatrice that act as guard animals.>He has a helm with a rooster on it.
>>51915763>the goblins never forget the kindness showed them by men>at mankind's darkest hour, an unimaginably massive goblin host appears to fight by their side
>>51916100>goblins breeding in incredibly short generations>with the constant fight for survival now solved, they focus on arts and sciences>each building upon the works of the previous>within a year, the goblins have reached absolute enlightenment, shedding their physical forms and transcending this plane of existence
>>51916175>You go and collect your reward from the king
>>51915763Slowly start charging money for these luxuries.The goblins, now used to this better standard of living, will agree to work in my factory for money.With my new invention, the assembly line, I will turn the kingdom into my merchant state.
>>51916121A paladin wouldn't do that. In D&D it's a nongood act to aid your enemies when they are evil.
>>51916080Adventuerers have absurd amounts of money, it's fine
>>51915763I am tame Goblin for use for man! Am domesticate! Goblin learn from man!
>>51917059YOU AM PLAY GOD!
>>51916589I really hate alignments. Your character could do nothing wrong, except maybe steal something once or twice without getting caught, have an evil alignment and people somehow know who you are because of that. It's just like fallout and how people just know if your good or evil because of karma. Hate that garbage.
>>51917153No! Am future!
>>51917153If the only thing you've done wrong is steal something once or twice, there's a pretty good chance that your character is not evil(depending on what they stole and why, obviously). For that matter, most versions of D&D don't even have you detect as evil until you have at least a few HD, unless you're a cleric or the like.
>>51916218>humans are now the "goblins".>disgusted, and dissalusioned, you cleanse the lands
>>51915763The best way to solve the homeless problem is to give them homes to live in.
>>51915763>npc asks you to "take care" of the goblins>use one of them as the party's comfort womanWho /devilish/ here?
>>51917518I've often felt the best way to solve the goblin problem would be to convince them to swear fealty to the local king, in return for military aid against other goblins.
>>51917541>one of them
>>51916126>Implying the king can afford to hire adventurers who can defeat us with all the XP earned by completing the quest with diplomacy
>>51917153You clearly have no clue how alignment works. Karma reflects how your character acts, if you go around shooting civilians and stealing you act like a raider.
>>51916080Pretty much this.Goblins are vicious wicked bastards, that are also quite cowardly.They will take any advantage, and turn on you in the slightest moment.
>>51917709I know that. I'm talking about when your doing stuff behind people's backs or you do good things and not wanting recognition for it and people just know if your good or bad. If magic is involved I'm not happy with it but hey its magic.
>>51917153Your fault for playing an edition where they still have "detect alignment".
>>51918033Again, the karma system is supposed to reflect how your character behaves. Nobody magically knows if you stole, but the game figures if you steal a lot you'll just end up looking shady and shifty.
>>51920274And there is literally a radio station describing you doing heroic or psychotic shit. NPCs talk between themselves, rumours spread, and wireless communication/travelers are common. Karma just reflects that crudely in game, just how HPs relfect your character's physical wellbeing.
>the Jarl has asked the party to take out a local witch causing trouble>the party accompanies her on a spa day and helps her get a makeover>now looking and feeling forty years younger the witch has turned a new leaf and decides to use her powers to help the locals instead of hexing them
>>51917391would have this quest as a daily/10
BURN THIS THREAD AND EVERYONE IN IT
>>51916589That's pants on head retarded. By that logic a freethinking hippie who just happens to be constantly kind and helpful to the wrong people would be chaotic evil.
>>51920698did he fuck the elf yet
>>51916126Congrats you're a shit DM.
>>51916589That is absolutely not true unless you're talking about shit stone age editions of the game.
>>51915763>The Mafia boss asks you to make Sammy swim with the fishes. >You take Sammy on a 7 days cruise to the Bahamas and help him get his divers license.
>>51915763>The King commands your party to remove a Dragon and take his hoard>You form an investor's coalition and through Kobold insider trading, successful execute a hostile takeover, removing the Dragon as CEO.
>>51915763> King asks you to "slay the lich."> Fight through the undead hordes and tie a reindeer to him.
>>51920377I gotta say I wondered how Mr. New Vegas knew shit. He was an AI, right?
>>51915763>"BY THIS TIME IN SEVEN DAYS, THAT DAMNABLE WIZARD HAD BETTER NOT STILL BE ALIVE," says the King, demanding the death of a wizard from a foreign land.>Adventure all the way to the foreign kingdom, cross valleys and mountain ranges, over streams, rivers, and gorges.>Defeat the mystical golem-guards of the wizard and his evil kingdom>Defeat his summoned demon-guard-fucktoy-succubus>Defeat his second in command wizard>Finally confront him>He goes full Lich after we arrive>Go collect reward from King, then give over the city plans to the Lich>Check on near-dead King after the inevitable hostile takeover by the Lich>"Why did you betray us?">"Well, technically, a Lich isn't alive."
>>51922162>>51922006>>51921834>>51921771>>51920457>>51915763If players were summoned using a wish spell
>They tell you to deal with the goblins in the mountains>You pave the way to a mutually beneficial trade agreement between the goblins and human settlements
>>51915763>Dwarf king commands you to slay the wood elves>Destroy all the wood engravings and statues depicting elves in the hold>King asks you to kill the elves who live in the forest due east>Visit the hold library then return and report that technically by Dwarf reckoning the elflands are one giant city full of trees>King demands that you leave the throne room and kill every elf you can find>After a week inspecting the hold you report no elves>The king commands his guards to throw you into the dungeon>You return with them, reporting that the hay made for a soft landing>King demands you be locked away with the key thrown away>They lock you in his bedroom, you regret that you had to smash through the floor to report back with news of your success>King demands the headsman attend to you>You report that he was nice but you're not looking for commitment>King demands someone, anyone kill you>Jester makes racy jokes causing you to break into uncontrollable laughter
>>51922325>DM takes your character sheet>"I knew I shouldn't have approved Moucho Grarx "
>>51920274Because you always act like you're evil. That's why white collar criminals are jailed all the time.
>>51921699>Do something stupid because you're a contrarian faggot>Get punished>REEEEEEEEEE BAD DEE EHM!Shut up.
>>51916141For a second I read this as the cockatrice guards having helms with little roosters on them.I like my version better.
>>51922655>DM doesn't communicate with his players that he doesn't like the way the game is going>Kills them with gmpcsthey deserved it
>>51922632The Courier is a tribal though, it makes more sense they wear their heart on their shoulder so to speak.
>ask for someone to be murdered>sic a bunch of crows on him
>>51922370I feel like this should be a thing. Famous comedians as tabletop characters.
>>51917541Goblins or NPC's?Because honestly, that's a pretty nice reward if they gave you a comfort woman for taking care of the goblins.
>>51915763So you imprisoned the Goblin King?That works.
>>51915763Why the hell is he hiring a bunch of murder-happy mercs to do this? Trying to shift the blame when the gobbos declare war because some murder-hobos murdered a bunch of them?
>>51917541>>51925687>goblin comforts>stabilizing goblinkindAAAAAHHHHH I NEED TO PLAY THIS GAME
>>51916589Do you have a screencap of that rule in the book?
>>51915763Fuck off Merkel, You have no power here.
>>51916080>Tell Goblin birthmothers that the babies are being looked after an educated>Farm baby goblins for XP. >Since all Goblins are always evil, killing them is a good act.>Charge evil people to kill in my Baby Goblin Farm>Everyone is technically good.>Everyone goes to heaven. Beautiful.
>>51932558It's just crazy enough to work!
>>51916589>In D&D it's a nongood act to aid your enemies when they are evil.Wrong. In fact, helping an evil person find redemption is one of the most Good things you can do.Am I seriously the only one who's read the Book of Exalted Deeds and the Book of Vile Darkness?
>>51932558Depending on the game, but assuming we're talking about D&D, Goblins are not always evil.
>>51932558>This is what lawful evil actually believes
>>51932558>filenameOh no it's happening again!>>51932687>implying anon believes in redemption
>>51920961>Hippies>not evilThey ruined a generation.
>>51916589Incorrect. It's an evil act to allow evil acts to be committed. Evil creatures are far more likely to do said acts, so it is often safer to smite and move on. But given time and the chance to do real good, by redemption, a paladin should do so. Barring any other pressing issues, like the end of the world, of course.
>>51937764>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life shitposting and playing games and now you're all alone and basically mentally retardedYou could do this for any generation.
>>51925687>they offer comfort woman for taking care of the goblins>you use the goblins as comfort women anyway
>>51941204>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life fucking wives whose husbands died in a war and running from police and now you're all alone and basically mentally retarded>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life greasing your hair and hot-wiring cars and now you're all alone and basically mentally retarded>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life dancing and sucking dick at the disco and contracting HIV and now you're all alone and basically mentally retarded>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life rebelling against society and being edgy and violent and now you're all alone and basically retarded>when you accidentally spend the best years of your life cutting yourself and taking picture of yourself crying and now you're all alone and basically retarded
>>51915763>>51916080Something something /pol/, something something refugees.What? It was bound to happen.
>>51917059>>51917133For everyone's benefit
>>51922655>players try to get off muh railroad amazing epic story to surpass tolkien>FUCK YOU REEEEE ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIES!!!!