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  • File : 1247280638.jpg-(472 KB, 712x930, Viking_Aged.jpg)
    472 KB VIKING QUEST !!zqioo24LTx8 07/10/09(Fri)22:50 No.5128932  
    "I have a quest for you."

    You were too busy getting sozzled on mead and pampered by outrageously hot Valkyries to do more than nod.
    "One of those Vanir assholes stole my hammer. Yeah. Fricking Mjollnir itself, and not only is it gone right before ice giant season, but I can't find the damn thing. They've put some enchantment on it, something that hides it from godeyes. So I need a nongod to go find the thing. You're the lucky guy. Believe me, I'll make it worth your while."

    "You'll be mostly mortal again while you're away from Valhalla, of course. But before you head down Yggdrasil, I can twist an arm or two to get you a boon for the trip. Anything you want in particular?"

    [ ] Freya's shapeshifting falcon skin
    [ ] Fimbulwinter in a bottle
    [ ] A single lightning bolt stolen from Zeus
    [ ] A short sword made from a tooth of Jormugand, seeping poison
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:52 No.5128946
    [x] Other

    "Mind if I bother that belt boss man?"
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128957

    "borrow" even.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128958
    Dude, the shapeshifting falcon skin, of course. Worked for Loki.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128961
    [X ] Freya's shapeshifting falcon skin
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128962
    [X] Other

    Can I have a Valkyrie?
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128964
    Your wife warming my bed for the next millenium.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)22:54 No.5128965
    [x] Other

    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:02 No.5129006
    Umm, I'd just like to point out, the World Serpen't Fang will eventually kill Thor himself. So it probably will slay anything else we need to slay, ever, anywhere.Even just dripping the poison on someone will cause unimaginable pain, whch can be used to torture the vanir and find out where the hammer is.
    Also, how the fuck did they lift it? Even Thor can't pick it up without his magic gut-belt and he needs gloves to keep it from burning his hands.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:04 No.5129022
    [ ] Fimbulvetr in a bottle
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:04 No.5129024
    [x] other, the ability to fly
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/10/09(Fri)23:08 No.5129044
    >> [X] Freya's shapeshifting falcon skin

    Freya bitched about everybody always borrowing this all the time, didn't like lending it to a mostly mortal (even one proven in battle), and promised you "your own personal Ragnarok" if you messed it up. It'll take a few minutes to get the magic warmed up before each use, but you'll be able to pop out of falcon-form in no time at all.

    Thor takes you down to the chariot yards to get you a fast ride down Yggdrasil. As you pick out a stylish chariot and set off, you realize that your long time in Valhalla boozing and whoring it up has led to some depreciation in the memory department regarding your mortal life. You know you were a badass, of course, but... what name did you go by?

    [ ] Skirnir Noblebright
    [ ] Ivar Bloodeye
    [ ] Othren the Beard
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:13 No.5129065


    [X] Skirnir Noblebright
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:14 No.5129068
    [X] other
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/10/09(Fri)23:14 No.5129069
    Didn't think of that. That would have been interesting.

    >>Fang is best
    The residual poison in this tooth is weaksauce compared to stuff straight from the serpent's poison glands. Still potent, but not god-felling.

    >>Also, how the fuck did they lift it? Even Thor can't pick it up without his magic gut-belt and he needs gloves to keep it from burning his hands.
    Good question! And how did they hide it from him? Although I was pretty sure he got the belt and gloves when he was getting the hammer back from giants.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:16 No.5129079
         File1247282169.jpg-(20 KB, 165x124, stubbs.jpg)
    20 KB

    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:17 No.5129084
    [x] Ivar Bloodeye
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:18 No.5129089
    [x] Othren the Beard
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:19 No.5129095
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/10/09(Fri)23:34 No.5129156
    Still trying to remember your name, you go headlong down the world tree. You're still in the realm of the gods, so flagrant violations of physics are still possible for a little while. Especially if they're fueled by awesome.

    As you're barreling along, you hear shouts behind you. It appears that you passed the home of some lesser ice giants, and they recognized you as a member of Valhalla. They're in full pursuit, probably to eat you, and they'll catch up at this rate.

    [ ] Attack full force
    [ ] Attack, but stay as on course as possible
    [ ] Evade
    [ ] Other

    Also, what is your primary weapon?
    [ ] Axe
    [ ] Hammer
    [ ] Sword
    [ ] Iron glove
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:37 No.5129169
    What are we, some kind of NON viking-hero?
    [x] Attack full force
    [x] IRON GLOVE

    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:40 No.5129182
    Who needs gloves?
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:40 No.5129187
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/10/09(Fri)23:43 No.5129209
    >>Attack full force with iron gloves

    You turn and face your pursuers, then give a leap off the back of the speeding cart, easily covering the hundred or so feet between you and your pursuers. Hurtling through the air, you bury your iron-covered fist up to the elbow into a giant's face.

    Your chariot clatters off behind you. The three remaining giants cautiously circle you as you decide your next move.

    [ ] Attack: Other
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:46 No.5129226
    Let's break some knees.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:46 No.5129228


    THANKYOU /tg/!

    I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a new Campaign and this thread just inspired my creative mind!

    Thank you /tg/ and thank you OP!
    >> Anonymous 07/10/09(Fri)23:47 No.5129233

    [X] Attack: Other

    Rip the head off the neck of the giant we killed, and wield it from the hair as a flail.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)00:00 No.5129295
    You barrel at one of the much taller giants, stomp on his foot, and then ram your helmed head against his kneecap until you hear it crunch unpleasantly.

    "I AM SKIRNIR NOBLEBRIGHT! WITH SWORD AND SHIELD I DISPENSE MERCY! TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE EITHER!" The giant falls with a thud, punctuating the statement.

    But oh shit, you've just been grabbed from behind, and the giant's working on acquiring a chokehold.

    [ ] Struggle to keep him from getting a better grip
    [ ] Full offense, even if it lets him start choking you
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:06 No.5129325

    We seem to be going the Berserker route, so I will assume that we are either
    A: Naked, or
    B: Wearing a bear hide we killed with our bare hands

    Therefore, stomp on the guys foot, elbow him in the stomach, then ram your head into his teeth.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:07 No.5129327
    Oh man, too bad we didn't take the belt option.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:07 No.5129329
    Yeah, that would have been amazing right now.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:10 No.5129346
    No, no, no.

    Use the skin. Turn into a hawk and fly out of his grip. Fly high into the sky then return to your form, launching yourself iron fists first into his skull. Pile driver from hell.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:11 No.5129349

    You are armored on the torso, with an iron helmet. You also have a pair of iron gloves to augment your punching.

    Over the chest armor is a bear hide.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:12 No.5129356

    Shame. Nevertheless, my suggested course of action still stands.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:16 No.5129378

    Except for the fact that he's a giant. Shit. Nevermind, just go full offense. If it works for Thor it can work for you.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:19 No.5129390
    [X] Other

    Odin's six-legged horse please.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)00:22 No.5129408
    Forgot my trip.

    While normally the falcon skin takes several minutes to warm up, you're not out of the realm of the gods just yet. The giant's buddy starts tag-teaming you, sending his beefy slabs of fist into your stomach. Even through the armor, you can feel the impact damage your precious liver. With your free hand, you reach around and clasp the falcon skin together. You pop out of the embrace and get a bit of altitude before popping out of falcon form, dropping down and sending a iron punch into the giant's throat. He doesn't like that. He likes it even less when you follow it up with a helmet headbutt to his teeth.

    Any celebrating is cut short when his buddy sends another set of punches into your back.

    Falcon skin must recharge before next use.

    [ ] FINISH HIM
    [ ] Attack your fellow punch-favoring foe
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:22 No.5129415

    Awesome! You used my move. Too bad it didn't avail us of our troubles.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:24 No.5129430

    Never split your efforts. Gotta kill the one giant first...and in the doing so somehow use that to our advantage to attack the second guy.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:26 No.5129442

    I like the way you think. Maybe throw the one into the other?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:26 No.5129445
    [X] Finish him.

    You're a viking, goddamn it. No giant's petty slaps can distract you from tearing the throat from the enemy who tried to deprive you of the ability to get shitfaced.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:28 No.5129457
    I'm pretty sure the "petty slaps" from the unwounded guy were what was attacking our liver.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:33 No.5129500
    I agree. Your bloodlust overwhelms you and compels you to finish the wounded giant. Besides, giants heal quickly. If you don't finish him off, and he limps away, he'll just be back again later to make your life hell.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)00:34 No.5129510

    You reach down with a fist full of anger, and come away with the bloody trachea of the giant who'd been choking you.

    The giant who had been punching takes this opportunity to grab a truly massive rock and slam it down on you. You roll enough that it just catches your legs, but you're pinned for the moment.

    The giant whose knee you crippled starts dragging himself over to you, murder in his eyes.

    [ ] Get free
    [ ] Get angry
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:35 No.5129518

    >[X] Get angry
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:38 No.5129540

    I want to say Get Angry for hilarity sake, but being somewhat realistic, we need to free ourselves. A raging animal in a trap is dangerous, but you never want to be in that position.

    By the way, OP, you are not making it easy for us to even begin our quest. woo! We are in a tight spot.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:42 No.5129571
    >[x] Other
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)00:53 No.5129646
    >>A split vote poses no problem.

    Your futile efforts to pull your legs out are infuriating. You feel the familiar push behind your eyes, the push that comes from using magic shrooms. The ones that make your anger boil over and set your blood on fire. As you feel the blood rush to your eyes, you realize there must be some residual magic left. You remember how you got your name...

    You KICK the giant rock off of you, straight into the crippled giant's head. You give an incoherent scream at the now worried, still standing giant.


    [ ] Attack
    [ ] Berserk attack
    [ ] Take off your helmet and bite it
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:57 No.5129678
    >[X] Take off your helmet and bite it
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:58 No.5129680
    names: you aren't gonna remember 'em after you die
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)00:59 No.5129684
    The answer should be obvious. Bereft of a shield to bite and high on magic shrooms/incoherent rage, we should first TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET AND BITE IT. Next, after the helmet is sufficiently bitten, we should BERSERK ATTACK.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:05 No.5129731
    You take off your helmet and begin angrily biting on it. It tastes like victory and sweat. Painstakingly engraved gold inlays are flattened by your teeth, but it only makes you even angrier. You become consumed with the desire to show someone just how much you hate them. Oh, there's someone.

    The giant, freaked out by this display, enters a defensive stance.

    [ ] Throw helmet
    [ ] Charge blindly
    [ ] Attack
    [ ] Other
    >> prince clovis radiant battlechaplin of the pretty marines 07/11/09(Sat)01:06 No.5129743
    [ ] Other

    Full front flip and slam your helmet down on his head using momentum from said flip.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:08 No.5129749

    I say in our rage, we bite off a chunk of the iron helm, and with it still in our teeth and its torn edge protruding from our mouth, we leap up and use the giants long braids to clamor up his chest, and using our head like a crude axe we cut his throat or at least lacerate his face.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:10 No.5129762
    [x] Chew Helmet
    [x] Spit bullets
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:10 No.5129763
    We throw the helmet as hard as we can at the giant, then run and jump even faster so we land on the flying helmet and ride it into him, hopefully with a headbutt.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:12 No.5129780
    You bite off a chunk of your helmet, throwing the rest of it aside. You have some idea about slicing the giant's face with it, after using his traditional braids as a makeshift rope.

    You're on your way up when the giant clasps his hands together high and brings them down on your unarmored head. You fall down, head ringing. Things seem a lot clearer.

    Well shit. He's knocked the rage right out of you.

    [ ] Attack
    [ ] Try to reinstate rage
    [ ] Defend until head stops ringing
    [ ] Other
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:14 No.5129804
    Shit, wish I'd refreshed in time to see this.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:16 No.5129820

    It's that time. Allow the rage to simmer in you at this insult, but act wary, weary, and only a few steps away from being beaten. The giant, sensing victory, will launch himself at you. Then... well, then you pull out the Falconskin.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:16 No.5129823
    If we defend, we die. If we attack, we'll probably die. The best option is to attack and reinstate rage at the same time. My suggestion is to yell as loudly as possible while running at the last giant. If we make it to him, pummel him with our iron gauntlets. If we don't make it to him but survive, try to defend and get our bearings.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:17 No.5129833

    We can do it on the next guy. Remember this!
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:18 No.5129840

    Defend for a moment and get into a more advantageous position. Depending on it's timer, the cloak might be working again. We could fly around and pluck out his eyes...or fly right into his mouth and return to our normal size, thus exploding his head.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:22 No.5129872
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:23 No.5129882

    Bah, names are for mortals and gods. We are Einherjar! We need no names beyond our purpose!
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:25 No.5129894
    with new CLARITY, press the attack! go for the eyes, which is a known weakpoint. or the junk. whichever is closest.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:25 No.5129896
    You defend yourself, but your post berserk self is moving a bit slower. Concentrating on defense lets you dodge or block most of the incoming hamfists, but one gets through. You stick out your lower jaw and take it full force. And the giant recoils, clasping his hand in pain. You let out a low laugh.

    "I am Othren the Beard. Feel my vengeance."

    You reclasp the cloak and pump your own magic into it, just enough to get you small and airborne. You hurtle into the giant's maw, then return to your normal shape. You explode upward with an uppercut, ripping through the giant's brain and skull. As you rip the top of his head open, the giant falls forward onto his knees, then collapses.

    You are victorious. You're also a mess, and minus your cart.

    [ ] Find cart
    [ ] Proceed on foot
    [ ] Find bearings
    [ ] Let cloak recharge then fly
    [ ] Clean up
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:31 No.5129948
    First, we DO NOT CLEAN UP. Our battles will be swifter as our enemies cower before the entrails of our... other enemies. Then, we proceed to WALK. Walking is good enough for Odin the Traveler, Honir the Long-legged, and Loki the Trickster, so it's good enough for us.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:34 No.5129974
    [X] LOOT
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:39 No.5130017
    You do not clean up. You forget your cart.

    The giants are carrying weighted iron bars, the currency in the mortal realm. As you brought none, this could prove handy. They carry nothing else an einherjar like yourself would likely find worth carrying (then again, you could surprise me with a request).

    They also have massive teeth, which can be made into a bitchin' necklace with a little work.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:44 No.5130045
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:45 No.5130051
    First, create BITCHIN' GIANT TOOTH NECKLACE. This will serve as proof of conquest should a boasting match come into play (it will). Next, take their EYES. You seem to recall a vague story about seers using giants' eyes in their visions; good if we run into one. Next, remember original goal: Find MJOLLNIR. The Vanir would not be so stupid to store it in Vanaheim. Therefore, walk to Midgard in search of a mortal seer.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:47 No.5130067
    Making a proper suit of armor will take time, especially as you are no craftsman. However, it would take little effort to convert a giant's skull into a helmet, especially if you used your now damaged metal helmet as part of it.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:50 No.5130089


    [ ] Proceed with giant bone helmet (short time required)
    [ ] Proceed with giant bone armor (long ass time required)
    [ ] Begin walking
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:52 No.5130102
    We make a rucksack out of giant scrotum, fill it with the teeth, and whatever we might see at the moment, before leaving to avoid further fights...at the moment anyway. So later we can fish through and see what we got. Oh, we can also but the bars in there too.

    Other giants might be less inclined to fight us if we have one's scrote as a backpack.

    "Your coin purse in MY coinpurse! Ha ha ha."

    Oh, also aren't giant bones hard as stone or something? Why not get a long bone for a club in further fights?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:53 No.5130109
    jesus fucking christ are you guys stupid or something? READ THE FUCKING EDDAS!! no one can lift Thor's hammer but Thor. he has a magic belt and gauntlet that magnify his strength 10 fold. the hammer is so heavy that it would break Bifrost itself if he tried to cross while carrying it. no one could ever steal that thing.

    this whole quest is fucking stupid.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:55 No.5130120

    Magic and myth are not a science. This is a parallel elseworld what-if dimension....where we CAN lift Mjolnir.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)01:55 No.5130123

    Who says that the Vanir lifted it by themselves? Or at all? First, the Vanir are masters of magic, and could probably have enchanted it to be light. Besides, how could Thrym steal Mjollnir? Remember that? Not only can it be done, it has been done.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)01:58 No.5130137
    >>no one could ever steal Mjollnir

    And yet, it's common knowledge in Norse mythology that it was stolen by Thyrm the giant. Who Loki and Thor had to trick (as in, a fake marriage) in order to get the hammer back. It sounds like you haven't read the Eddas.

    Also, the protagonist wasn't ordered to carry the hammer back. Just to find it.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:00 No.5130151

    I second everything this man says. Additionally, we should use a GIANT SKULL to create a GIANT SKULL HELMET. Next, use a GIANT THIGHBONE to create GIANT THIGHBONE CLUB. Finally, proceed to Midgard.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:04 No.5130171
    If votes toward the names still count, i vote for Ivar Bloodeye
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:05 No.5130174
    [X]Pee on corpses
    [X]Take a giant bone
    [X]Begin Walking
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:06 No.5130180
         File1247292373.jpg-(84 KB, 500x382, 1222876297957.jpg)
    84 KB

    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:08 No.5130191
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)02:08 No.5130194
    Acquired: GIANT SKULL HELMET. Status: fearsome and formidable
    Acquired: Giant scrotum filled with remaining giant teeth and iron bars. Status: Triple-layered

    As you begin walking, you notice that you were near the border of the god-realm. Good thing you jumped off when you did, or the falcon-skin wouldn't have recharged nearly as quickly. It'll take at least a minute for the magic to kick in now, and take longer to recharge its magic between uses.

    [ ] Find village with seer
    [ ] Find a Vanir to question
    [ ] Find a gossip hub and someone who hears things
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:12 No.5130212
    The most obvious thing is to find a gossip hub. It won't help with finding any of the Vanir, but they can probably direct us to a seer, or someone who knows where a seer is.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:14 No.5130226
    Goto whore house, they're great sources for information!
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)02:23 No.5130289
    You walk until you come to a crossroads, and follow it to a sizable town. You can see a House of Brisingamen (whorehouse) there, but the chief and his henchmen are standing at the town gate, awaiting your arrival. Seems you were spotted coming up the road.

    [ ] Approach openly, be friendly
    [ ] Approach, plan hostilities
    [ ] Try another route
    [ ] Try another town
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:26 No.5130307

    Approach openly and with cheer. Explain that you're a weary traveler looking for somewhere to sleep. Pretend your coinpurse isn't made from giant scrotum. At least, until you're drunk, then start bragging about it.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:27 No.5130316
    Approach as friendly as possible, probably hitting on them as we make small talk.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:27 No.5130318
         File1247293668.jpg-(37 KB, 480x409, ben_enrage.jpg)
    37 KB
    > [X] Approach, plan hostilities
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)02:30 No.5130341
    Seeing your staff and helm, and hearing your good words, the chief decides you're a good person to invite to his lodge while you stay. All too soon, the alcohol starts to flow, and questions with it.

    [ ] Brag and tell your story
    [ ] Brag of your fight, withhold your story
    [ ] Let the amount you drink be your boast
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:31 No.5130346
    [x] Approach openly, be friendly

    Secretly prepare hostilities, just in case.

    If town is populated with true Northmen brag about scrotum pack.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:33 No.5130360
    [x] Brag of your fight, withhold your story, match the Chief in drinks, out drinking him could lead to hostilities. You need information here, not kill count.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:34 No.5130364

    Probably not a good idea to let them know Mjollnir is stolen. Brag about the fight; they won't believe it, but it is a story well told. Next, drink them all under the table. When they come to, mention the need to find a seer. If they get too inquisitive, mumble something about a lost sister.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)02:39 No.5130403
    The chief and his cronies are initially skeptical about the fight, but the multitude of giant body parts are pretty strong proof. They seem convinced.

    Except for one guy, who stands up and calls you a liar and a scavenger to your face. You're not sure if he'd been drinking beforehand or not.

    [ ] Rip and tear
    [ ] Challenge him to competition
    [ ] Insult him
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:41 No.5130413
    > [ X ] Rip and tear
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:42 No.5130419
    [x] Challenge him to competition

    Obviously the most Viking choice. Circle of death, first one to die loses. No armor, broadswords, bonfire in the middle.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:44 No.5130429

    Addition: maybe round shields.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:45 No.5130435
    These are people, not foul giants.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:46 No.5130441
    Ya, tear off his scrotum, our bag needs a pocket on it.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:46 No.5130446

    Glad to see there's someone else out there who sees Vikings for more than RIP AND TEAR machines.

    I'll catch you in Valhalla, first round's on me.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:46 No.5130447
    How can we be sure he's a person though?
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:50 No.5130467
    Come on OP, this is fun as hell, and I have the relative patience of a twelve year old on meth.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)02:54 No.5130500
    You let your present company know you'll accept nothing less than a duel to the death with the offender. He can have his choice of weapons, but no armor. With a small grin, you let him know that you'll be taking his scrotum as a trophy once he's dead. "My purse could use a little pocket."

    Soon enough you're staring across the bonfire at him, the circle in the ground indicating where only a coward will tread before victory. Swords and shields it is.

    [ ] Attack straight up
    [ ] Humiliate opponent
    [ ] Impress crowd
    [ ] Otheer
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:55 No.5130509
    Want to know something funny?

    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)02:58 No.5130523
    Aaaand this thread is archived.

    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:00 No.5130549
    [X] Humiliate opponent
    This is about him. I'm already a hero and the crowd has no sway here.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:00 No.5130552
    [X] Humiliate opponent

    Talk smack about his junk.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:00 No.5130554
    [x] Humiliate opponent

    In Norse culture your bragging rights are as important as your victory. Break his shield, disarm him, then walk away and let him pick is sword back up. Throw down your shield, and fight him, a crooked smile on your face, and a mixture of laughter and hate in your eyes. Make sure he understands exactly who's going to win this fight before it ends. If he doesn't run away kill him, then leave a full mug of the best mead you can get a hold of with his body, as a sign of respect for holding his ground.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:04 No.5130575
    Staring across the bonfire, you start fighting on opposite sides of it. You batter your opponent's sword aside and reach through the flames to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him forward into the fire. He yelps and drops his defense in his efforts to get out.

    You use this opportunity to flick his sword into the bonfire, and his face turns white.

    "Pick it up."

    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:09 No.5130602
    [x] other

    Thrust your sword into the ground a few feet away from you (we should be proficient in h2h, seeing as we took h2h weapons to start with) and say:

    "...or if you prefer..."

    Then crack your knuckles threateningly.

    Wait for a response.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:11 No.5130609
    He stares at the ever-hotter sword, but can't seem to bring himself to reach in and grab it.

    "Scared? You should be. Some of us don't need a sword to win." You give a practiced flick of the wrist, and your sword is stuck in the loose ground between his feet. He takes it, and charges you.

    You take it on the shield, twisting it so that the blade embeds into the wood. With your free arm, you grab his throat and lift him up over the fire.

    [ ] Burn!
    [ ] Mercy
    [ ] Quick death
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:12 No.5130617
    Keep up the taunt. Do this:
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:13 No.5130619
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:13 No.5130621

    wow, 2 people agree with me in one thread. On /tg/. Something is wrong, but I love it.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:15 No.5130627

    [x] quick death

    There can be no letting this man live, not now. If we do, we are a coward. Prolonging his suffering would not look good in the eyes of the populace, who have assuredly gathered to watch.

    Snap his neck, then place him on the ground, and position his body in a respectable way.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:16 No.5130638
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:17 No.5130644

    3! Damn! Maybe I should take up writefagging for /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:17 No.5130650
    add a at least you backed up your mouth
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:18 No.5130657
    He's just a drunk idiot. Throw him to the ground. If he runs, let him. If he keeps attacking, humiliate him. If there's no other way to humiliate him and he's not running, THEN we can kill him.

    He knows we're srs fucking bsns now.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:20 No.5130661
    >>Trying to go with the popular vote here.

    You let the terror build in his eyes a moment before you throw him to the ground and pick up the sword. "No, you'll get a quick death. Unless you think you stand a chance in unarmed combat with ME."

    [ ] Other

    Do it.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:22 No.5130671
    Not entirely sure if you're insulting my grammar, which I don't see any major issues with (though I could have worded the first bit better if I wasn't dead tired and a little drunk) or adding to my mess. Hopefully the latter, because I like the idea of saying that.

    We don't know that hes drunk, but humiliation works. Long as we don't get all dark eldar on his ass.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:24 No.5130681
    To him: you are a drunk fool be going from my sight
    *with one kick send him out of the ring*
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:25 No.5130686

    Official endorsement from the OP of a kick ass thread. Tomorrow I will bring /tg/ some writefaggotry. Going to need a tripcode and a sufficient name... hmmm.....
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:26 No.5130694
    I was adding not insulting
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:26 No.5130695
    His eyes flick toward the edge of the circle. He's gathering his will to run. You've got a moment to decide before it becomes evident that he'll flee.

    [ ] Kill him
    [ ] Let him run
    [ ] Other
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:28 No.5130706
    [ X] Other

    kick him out as he gets close to the edge
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:30 No.5130717
    [x] Let him run.

    He's chosen his coward's life. Let him face the consequences.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:31 No.5130722
    [x] Let him run

    His life will be completely destroyed for being a coward. There's really no reason to kill him.

    This way, you also prevent backlash from friends, family, and or a seer who might not take kindly to you killing him for.. some.... reason...

    Letting him live is the safe option. There's no glory in killing a broken man, only ill blood to clean off your weapon.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:32 No.5130725

    [X] Other

    Allow him to start fleeing, but as he begins to run away throw your shield (with the sword still embedded) for the kill. Decapetation would be spectacular.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:32 No.5130727

    Good show.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:36 No.5130746
    He turns and begins to run. You help him along his way with a well-placed kick in the ass.

    [ ] "Anyone else questioning my previous battles?"
    [ ] "I won't hold him against the rest of you."
    [ ] "To business. I'm looking for a seer, or someone who knows all the news."
    [ ] "I believe we had some mead requiring our attention."
    [ ] Other
    [ ] Let the OP sleep because he's tired
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:38 No.5130758

    [X] Let the OP sleep because he's tired

    On the condition that this thread is saved, continued tomorrow, and the OP heralded as awesome.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:40 No.5130768
    "I believe we had some mead requiring our attention."

    then offer to buy a round
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:42 No.5130788
    [x] "I believe we had some mead requiring our attention."

    Getting in good with the populace is always a plus. Don't speak of the fight unless the conversation is directed there en masse.

    Besides, who doesn't love a good party?

    Talk up as many people as you can, play social butterfly, the more people that like you, the more likely you are to get the information you want.

    I'd love to tell you to go to bed, but I'm enjoying this too much to let it stop.... Give us a few more before you crash out?
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:42 No.5130789
    Thread has been saved on sup/tg/. Glad people had fun, because I certainly did.

    Tomorrow around the same time, is the plan for continuing. If that time proves impossible, sometime soon. Will start off based on answers to final choice in this thread.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:43 No.5130796
    >>Give us a few more before you crash out?

    Oh, fine.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:43 No.5130798
    Damn. G'night OP, may your dreams be of ale and whores.
    >> !!zqioo24LTx8 07/11/09(Sat)03:52 No.5130852

    You may have forgotten a lot about your life as a mortal, but all those memories were replaced with something else--how to party. The chieftan, now convinced that you are someone to bring out the best booze for, does. Causing a spontaneous village feast makes you something of a local hero.

    And you lead the way in everyone getting hilariously trashed. You'll worry about all that other stuff in the morning, Thor will understand. It's not Valhalla, but for these people it's close enough.

    [ ] Sleep
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:52 No.5130856
    [x] Other

    Go to bed OP, you have done well, and this is a great point to pause on.

    Thanks for adventure, and I hope to see Chapter 2 tomorrow night.
    >> Anonymous 07/11/09(Sat)03:56 No.5130873

    Clearly I meant [x] sleep.

    It's your fault I messed up. Bastards.

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