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  • File : 1245988177.jpg-(80 KB, 450x380, penn-line_wood_20_painted_keystone_gazeb(...).jpg)
    80 KB Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:49 No.5001479  
    You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:50 No.5001492
    Is it on a grassy knoll?
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:51 No.5001496
    Bomb the site from orbit, I ,aint getting near that accursed thing.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:51 No.5001504
    Your luck is incredible. It is not.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:52 No.5001513
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:52 No.5001514
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:54 No.5001527
    I slowly slip my hand down to the hilt of my weapon. I feel woozy as the memories of slaughter overcome my thoughts, but I cannot take the time to close my eyes or clear my head lest the beast escape my clear line of vision. With one thunderous roar I charge towards the gazebo, unsling my +5 Sledgehammer of Gazebo-Destroying. My scream is the scream of the martyr, and I can but hope my death will not be in vain.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:54 No.5001529
    Whoops, that should be an apostrophe not a comma.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:54 No.5001532
    It doesn't respond. It's a gazebo.
    There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:56 No.5001542
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:56 No.5001544
    Is this that old joke where you say "I ATTACK THE GAZEBO"

    "What why would you attack the gazebo?!"

    "because its a monster duh"

    "no its a gazebo..."

    "Quit playing around!"
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:58 No.5001559
    Fuck no, I'm not touching that thing
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:58 No.5001564
    I use Steal
    >> Anonymous 06/25/09(Thu)23:59 No.5001574
    You got splinters in your hand as a result.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:01 No.5001591
    You might be better suited using an axe or fire of some kind.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:02 No.5001603
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:03 No.5001614
    I command my Sphere of Annihilation to destroy it, and pray that the explosion doesn't get me.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:03 No.5001615
    >> VideoVader !!nQjZnqWTnlj 06/26/09(Fri)00:04 No.5001620
    I light a plus 3 arrow on fire, then fire it at the gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:06 No.5001640
    I kill you guys and hope to curry favour with the mighty gazebo.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/26/09(Fri)00:09 No.5001664
    I roll a local knowledge check to find out more about the gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:13 No.5001694
    I cast that combination Blast/Light elemental effect indirect combat spell at it, overcasting to my max magic of 20, gutting a nearby bystander to reduce the DV by 9 and hoping the 14 dice I have for drain reskeep me alive.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:14 No.5001700
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:15 No.5001719
    I enter the Gazebo, lay a blanket down and take a nap.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:16 No.5001722
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:17 No.5001734
    Fuck man, I'm not getting anywhere near that gay's bow. I'm going back to the tavern.
    >> CAPSLOCKGUY 06/26/09(Fri)00:22 No.5001758
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:25 No.5001779
    AH HAH! I came prepared this time. I spent several feats making my fire-mage capable with his battle axe!
    I shall make short work of this beast!
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:28 No.5001799
    I fire my flamethrower at the gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:31 No.5001827

    Nice reference very obscure
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:32 No.5001833
    The Gazebo eats you and you die.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:35 No.5001848

    They're a package deal with the dental plan.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:36 No.5001853
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:36 No.5001856
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)00:39 No.5001874
    Hey, is it a giant type?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:42 No.5001891
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    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:42 No.5001892
    I make love to the gazebo. Tenderly.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:42 No.5001894
    It's a Gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:45 No.5001910
    I wonder if a mimic could ever mimic a gazebo. That would be funny...
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:46 No.5001918
    brb, secret meeting with DM
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)00:47 No.5001921
    I think I remember it being listed with the Ranger's giant class list in Unearthed Arcana. It's from the Fiend Folio right?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:49 No.5001931
    It's a Gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:49 No.5001935
         File : 1245991775.jpg-(171 KB, 834x1079, gazeebostory.jpg)
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    rough cut, for anyone who isn't in the know
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:50 No.5001943
         File : 1245991852.jpg-(229 KB, 835x1080, gazeebostory2.jpg)
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    >> Mârquis dé baguette 06/26/09(Fri)00:52 No.5001952
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)00:52 No.5001955
    I cast detect evil, prepare for smiting
    >> Shiki Misaki !/oQ4N8ZIEA 06/26/09(Fri)00:54 No.5001968
    Hey, DM? I'm going OOC for a sec: What's a Gazebo?
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)00:59 No.5002007
    Is this some weird monster from White Dwarf or Judge's Guild?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:00 No.5002021

    The bane of Paladins everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:07 No.5002068
    Uhh... It's a Gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:07 No.5002073

    I attack it!!! Quick before it sees me!
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:09 No.5002089
    I cast detect alignment on the gazebo and have the thief check for Kobold traps.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:10 No.5002104
    Old meme predates the internet.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:12 No.5002116
    There are no Kobold traps on the Gazebo.

    (DM note: 1,000 Goblin traps go undetected.)
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)01:12 No.5002119
    I see now. You're upset that I killed King Snurre in one hit, so you had to make up some monster to kill me.
    Luckily, I can teleport back. HA!
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:14 No.5002141
    FUCK. If only we had a ranger with a racial bonus vs goblins and or goblin/traps
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:18 No.5002172
    I cast flare
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:18 No.5002173
    I cast implosion at the gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:19 No.5002181
    I get another gazebo for the Gazebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:20 No.5002187
    I place an immovable rod on the floor of the gazebo
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:21 No.5002200
    Okay, you know what? Fine. The Gazebo teleports beside you, eats you and then goes and fucks your mother. She gives birth to a Gazebo-spawn child who grows up to be the Antichrist and using the power of the Head of Vecna to destroy the world. GAME OVER.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:22 No.5002205
    I cast magic missile.
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 06/26/09(Fri)01:22 No.5002208

    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:24 No.5002225
    I use animal husbandry to defeat the gazeebo.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:24 No.5002227
    I cast "summon bigger fish"
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)01:26 No.5002247
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    Doesn't work. I already checked. >>5001921
    It fucking teleports too? Ah fuck this shit.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)01:27 No.5002254
         File : 1245994077.png-(224 KB, 500x550, Thoughtful sketch.png)
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    What the fuck was that?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:31 No.5002284
    that's not how it works, you're doing it wron-


    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:32 No.5002293
    I cast "Film Decoy" on Laura's cousin.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:33 No.5002306
    You idiots, that's not where you put that ro-


    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:35 No.5002321
    How would that even wor-

    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:37 No.5002335
    I build a gazebo out of immovable rods. It's time to take this to the next level.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:38 No.5002344
    >> Mârquis dé baguette 06/26/09(Fri)01:39 No.5002362
         File : 1245994794.jpg-(20 KB, 192x250, dog462.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:40 No.5002366
    I...uh, cast...Bloody Path on the gazebo made of immovable rods?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:41 No.5002377
    The Immovable Rod Gazeebo is now my patron deity. (and stolen as next years april fools encounter monster)
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:42 No.5002386
    Someone archive this thread
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)01:42 No.5002388
    Would that be DURR *CLANG* or DURR *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG*...
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:47 No.5002437
    Whatever ends in
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:48 No.5002445
    I attempt to imbue the Immovable Rod Gazebo with construct sentience then use a dark and arcane ritual to give it free will to roam the earth and spread ruin.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:50 No.5002457
    >roam the earth
    >immovable rod
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:50 No.5002460

    and thus the best post-apocalyptic D&D game ever made began....
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:51 No.5002466
    Not even the gods know.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:52 No.5002477
    immovable wouldn't necessarily mean immobile
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:53 No.5002488
    You're getting a visit from the Inevitables
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:55 No.5002501

    Do I get to finish my construct first?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)01:58 No.5002532
    Did they get to finish building the Tower of Babel?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:03 No.5002568

    A challenger appears.

    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:04 No.5002579
    1: incapable of being moved

    1: incapable of being moved
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:06 No.5002585
    Sure, just brace yourself for an ironic twist of fate
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:06 No.5002587
    I would so play this RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

    (caps for em-fa-sis bitches)
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:07 No.5002599

    nothing else can move it

    it cant move itself

    thats how i saw it anyways
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:07 No.5002600
    Well please do go on; I'm biting my lip in suspense here.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)02:07 No.5002603
    Inevitables VS Devastators
    Is the Inevitable's victory inevitable, or will they be devastated by the devastators?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:09 No.5002611
    Same here. Besides, the so called immovable rods get carried around rather a lot to be immobile now dont they?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:10 No.5002627

    I lend the man wearing robot pants who fell from the sky my mom's car.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:13 No.5002649
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:22 No.5002714
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    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:24 No.5002734
    Dammit! I thought I had that show scoured from my memory.

    Damn you 4chan!!!!
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:24 No.5002736
    As soon as you finish the incantations to animate the immovable rod gazebo, a bright flash of light and a loud *CLANG* overwhelms your senses.
    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?? you ask when you come to, finding yourself pinned under the gazebo's weather vane. A golden, clockwork humanoid stands above you in a pose of disapproval.

    "It was inevitable that attempting to violate the natural law of the universe would draw our attention. It was a simple matter to destroy your recipe and replace it with that of a golem of our own design."

    With a metallic groan, the gazebo shifts its entire weight so it is standing above you. The golden Inevitable presses a small button on the side of the golem and it gives a shudder into lifelessness. Your last thoughts as the weight of the building come crashing down are "I was wondering why the instructions had me install that button"
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:27 No.5002770
    I am a dragon.
    And as the gazebo settles over me I try my damndest to consummate a half gazebo abomination unto the world.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:28 No.5002774
    If you build a gazebo monster out of Immovable Rods and manage to make it speak, couldn't it activate and deactivate these rods itself?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:29 No.5002790
    Dont most golems and constructs cease to be their original material and become "golemstuff" upon completion of the ritual anyway?
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:34 No.5002836
    Mid-coitus, the Lady of Pain appears and mazes you (and not the gazebo) As you update your journal, rocks fall, everybody dies.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)02:36 No.5002855
         File : 1245998212.jpg-(83 KB, 400x400, rage 2.jpg)
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    First, you railroad my ranger to death, and now you do it to someone else.

    This is the worst campaign ever.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:39 No.5002870
    A little vocabulary can be a dangerous thing.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:40 No.5002878
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:43 No.5002912
    A now heartbroken Gazebo Golem grieves for your death with what little fading sentience it has left. A chaos god has watched the entire event with great interest and gotten himself involved. Nine months later, a hatch pops open and a Half-Tarrasque Gazebo of Immovable Rods is born. Your new party discovers the infant aberration and must decide what to do with it.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:45 No.5002929
    I suggest to the party that we feed it to the Gelatinous Hypercube and watch the ensuing fun whilst eating popcorn in our reclining thrones.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:46 No.5002937
    I understand that is what he was going for, but I actually pulled both of those definitions straight out of the dictionary.
    I think you have to activate the immovable rods immobility.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:46 No.5002946
    I draw my bow and fire an arrow at it.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:49 No.5002968
    Its a half-tarrasque gazebo made of immovable rods with an arrow in it. It starts to cry before eating the arrow.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)02:50 No.5002977
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)02:53 No.5002994
         File : 1245999207.jpg-(44 KB, 732x626, scary.jpg)
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    His made up monster wasn't enough, and now he has a tarrasque crossbreed with it.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 06/26/09(Fri)02:55 No.5003005
         File : 1245999329.jpg-(55 KB, 445x383, science dave chapelle.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)03:02 No.5003070
    I so want to watch this go on until something epic happens (well more epic) but I have to sleep.

    Here's hoping this thread still lives when I wake up tomorrow afternoon.

    I'm not OP by the by, just a passing fan of all things fucked up enough to steal for my own campaign.

    Thank you /tg/ THIS >>5002335 amused me.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)03:04 No.5003089
    It seems like the natural expension. ITT: Memetic mutation.

    I can't believe this hasn't been archived yet.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)03:04 No.5003100
    Not OP either (I was the guy who introduced >>5002187 among other things)
    Also, >thread archived
    >> Guardsman Mike 06/26/09(Fri)03:05 No.5003106
    Question, what is gazebo?
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)03:07 No.5003130
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    It's some fucking monster the DM made up. It can teleport and kill you without a saving throw, attack roll, or damage roll.
    >> Guardsman Mike 06/26/09(Fri)03:09 No.5003157

    ....I dig it.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)03:11 No.5003172
    Not OP either. I posted
    And played along with Unholy as DM for a while until some other Anon took over. Glad to see this archived, only the second thread I've contributed to that was archived on /tg/.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Street Cleaner Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/26/09(Fri)03:23 No.5003292
    Well, thanks to both you and the other anon. It was fun.
    >> Anonymous 06/26/09(Fri)03:27 No.5003315
    i use some old dwarven liqour (being an old dwarf myself) to make a molotov coctail. the gazeebo will burn!!!

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