ITT: Pretend this is a Yu-Gi-Oh duel
>>49368503SHUFFLE WELL PHAROAH
>>49368503I play a Forest, tap it, cast Sol Ring, and end my turn
I flip my wasteland spell faceup in the middle of the field and end my turn.
Sorry. I can't pretend this is a Yugioh duel without hearing the theme song first.
I sacrifice 3 of my Kuriboh tokens to flashback Dread Return to Special Summon my Charizard back from the Graveyard.
>>49369158Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
>>49369184Why, yes. It's a very special Charizard as well. It's one of the only Blue Eyes White Charizards in existence!
>>49369184Screw the rules I have money!
>>49369272>yfw Blue Eyes White Charizard just sits in the middle of the field ignoring your commands
>>49369310Why won't he listen to me!? I should have enough Gym Badges to control him!
>>49369336We're playing Duelist Kingdom rules, you ninnie! You need to raise his loyalty value, did you try giving him lembas bread?
>>49369336You never let 'em rip
>>49369358It's about to get a lot worse for you boys, muhahahaha! For you see this is a Planechase Duel after all!!! And you two won't survive my next play...
>>49369390For I summon Toon Jace and Manga Chandra to the battlefield! And Since we're on the "Toon World" Plane card! They enter with 2 more Loyalty Counters on them!
>>49369405>(Oh no! Look Pharaoh! They're written in weeaboo! We have no idea what any of their effects are, or even if Pegasus is telling the truth!)
>>49369450Come now, Yugi Boy! Times running out for you and little Kaiba there. It's your move mufufufufufufu. Might I suggest rolling the Plane Die to get off this plane? I'm waiting...
>>49369487Open, damn it, open! Prime, you said the Matrix would light our darkest hour.
>>49369512Darkest hour? It's just a card game, you retard.
>>49369538Look, Prime-y. It's jus a silly thread kept going from people who are bored and sharif images over a children's card game that spawned from a tv show that spawned from a manga. It's pointless trivial nonsense. You parents went through it, I went through it. Break the cycle, Prime-y.
>>49369597This is the weirdest EDH game I've ever played.
>>49369597But wait! I'm not done!I sacrifice both Godzilla and Optimus Prinme in order to summon...OPTIMUS THE KAIJU CHAMPION.
I summon man eater bug in the face down defence position and place two trap holes and a bottomless trap hole in the spell/trap zone. Your move.
>>49369788I play a Snow-Covered Island and Exodia the Forbidden One.
>>49369852Seems like a plan. I support this endeavor.
>>49369788Gotta be honest, just once I wanted to see someone use one of those, or any of the dozens upon dozens of creature destruction cards in Yu-Gi-Oh on Kiba's blue eyes.
>>49369878It is right now 07:55 AM.EL MAGOS DEL TIEMPO!
>>49369733Wait a minute, you forgot the fusion card you mother fucker!
Blah blah blah card games blah blah blah!
>>49369930Blah blah blah?
You just activated my trap card.*unzips dick*
That Kiaba kid needs to get laid. Did you kmow his name was Solomon? I didn't.
I activate pot of greed and draw two cards!I now cast pot of greed and draw two more cards!Now feel my power as I play pot of greed and draw two more cards!Hmm...I set a card.I reveal my set card, it's pot of greed!I draw two cards.
I play reborn the monster to revive this thread!!!
>>49369919It's an effect monster that can only be special summoned by sacrificing those two cards.
I activate the effect of my Scrap-Iron Scarecrow! Not ONLY is your attack negated, but I can set Scrap-Iron Scarecrow back down in the trap card zone! What's that? You have another attack? I reveal my second Scrap-Iron Scarecrow to block it! Hahahaha! What? You have a THIRD attack!? Well, what else can I do, but...USE MY THIRD SCRAP-IRON SCARECROW!Fear my impenetrable Iron Defence!
>>49372120That card is banned in this format!REFERRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>>49374300Not if his commander has green color identity
This looks an awful lot like a quest thread. Maybe it should get deleted.
>>49375423heh maybe YOU should get deleted ........... kid
"Hey, I like your graveyard deck. It would be a shame if something came along and started banishing things... I play d.d. warrior lady. Why yes, this is a different dimensions deck. It cost me $250 when it came out."
Is it my turn yet? I brought my lucky dice...
the heart of the cards guided me to my favorite card!
I set a card face down in defense mode.Your move.
>>49370211GP-02! I choose you!
I SUMMON JIRACHITHANKS TO ITS ABILITY SERENE GRACE, I WILL NOW TOP DECK THE PERFECT ANSWER TO EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE, YUGI-BOI!
I summon the Winged Warrior of Terra!
Guys how do I tap mana!? I'm so god damned confused!
>>49373975Sure would be a shame if I happened to topdeck Heavy Storm, wouldn't it?
>>49373975I activate Royal Decree! Now all of your Trap Cards are useless, leaving you wide open for my attacks!
I play Bolter Bitch in Attack Mode!Her special ability "CLEANSE AND PURIFY" takes effect: I now search my deck and equip her with a Flamer! I also place a card face-down...your move!
>tfw you play mono-red in a multiplayer game.
>>49377431I flip this card face up.
>>49372120Now, I sacrifice two monsters to give Obelisk the Tormentor infinite attack power!
Uh oh. I think I'm in trouble with all those mons--SWORDS OF REVEALING LIGHT!I will now proceed to draw useless cards until the last turn when the HEART OF THE CARDS hears my call and grants me another Swords of Revealing Light.
I read all of this in the YuGiOh Abridged voices and I'm laughing so hard right now
Remember when I did useful things?Remember when I was called Honda?Remember when card games were played on motorcycles?Me neither!
archivin dis shit
>>49378468>>49378496SHIT.Where the fuck did I put my field spells...
>>49385118Could be worse. I was playing with my friends, and I used a +4. The guy after me used HIS +4, and the one after HIM used his, until some dude got, like, 30 cards.
>>49368503What is with this face?
>>49369580Rick yelling drunken nonsense at Optimus Prime would be the greatest thing ever.
>>49387477He just remembered that his sister was blind and that if he didn't speak he could get away with it.
This isn't just a simple card game Phoenix. If you fail to prove your Exodia innocent, you will be sent TO THE TWILIGHT REALM
>>49369897Whats you power 7:55?i'm 3:59 and my powers are fap, watch anime and cry
>>49387917I'm surprised they haven't done an episode where something like that happens. Just Rick and some Transformer like Ruler, both drunk as fuck, yelling at each other over how to use some weird power cube thing
A giant gentleman penguin challenges your PC to a duel and the loser will be banished to the shadow realm! How does your PC fair?!
>>49369390>>49369405>>49369487>Pegasus was a rich grown man obsessed with cartoonsWas he Michael Jackson?
>>49368600made me chuckleunderrated post
>>49387973This seems like just a simple card game, like childhood innocence made manifest, but soon we will see that even the most precious children have to grow up when they enter...The Twilight Zone
>>49378339I summon all three Egyptian God cards, active my own trap card, cast Pot of Greed, a card which a staple in any deck for it's ability allows me to not only one card, but TWO cards after casting the spell. I will finish my turn by summoning "Stonecold" Steve Austin, place my 10 of Spades in the field with pendulum summoning, cast Search for the Right Card spell, which allows me to search my deck for a card i want and shuffle the deck again without the card i want in it but instead in my hand. Now that card i drew was a Rank 8 card of Wands, increasing my XP gain after the fight. Now i will roll 3d6 to see which Old God i summon and activate if it has a battlecry at the end of the turn. To finish my turn i call back my Pikachu and digivolve my Agumon into a Greymon. Your move, Frieza.
>>49388185I'm having difficulty processing the fact that this is a real thing
>>49389467>>49389005And it's official!
>>49388369>Crazy old man who plays and enjoy card gamesHe's Mark Rosewater
>>49389256I use Raigenki.
I place this Spetsnaz GRU card face down in defense mode.
>>49389256I play this. You lose.
>>49387431Joke's on them. I play Venser's Journal and gain 30 life!
>>49389256Wait, I wasn't done with my turn.
>>49387973Objection! With the mighty Emrakul under my control, the rule of law is revealed as a mere construct of human imagination! Tremble in horror as your very principles are rendered unto ashes before your eyes!
>>49392791>>49387973In your entire deck, there's not a single card that can stand up to an Eldrazi titan! So what hope do you have... against three!
I activate the spell card Polymerization...
>>49393028fusing Bruna, the Fading Light...
>>49393048with Gisela, the Broken Blade.
>>49393057FUSION SUMMON. BRISELA THE VOICE OF NIGHTMARES
>>49390878You've just actiaved my "fuck you" scrap of paper
>>49393085How would that even apply here?
>>49394226It's magic. I don't have to explain shit!
Which charmer would you charm
>>49368503>BASAKA SOURU>DORO>MONSUTA KADDOhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cncB4HPOc40
I use my indeterminate amount of mana to play SEVEN RELENTLESS RATS!
Which will win?
>>49392840A FIVE MANA 8/8
Bump, i don't want this magnificent thread to die.
>>49398033No one does my friend
>>49388323Well, due to penguins not having thumbs.
>>49388280>no script>both actors come on set completely wasted>then they animate it
>>49368657That's a shit play>I play a forest, tap it, cast Sol Ring>Tap sol ring and Cast two more Sol Rings, Tap one, Cast Sol Ringnext turn? Umalog the ceaseless hunger
>>49370211It's Sugoroku. Solomon is the dub name.
>>49388323I literally rolled up an Egyptian-themed Wizard that focuses on Summoning and really likes spell scrolls.I will do amazingly well.
>>49394324Holy fuck.The Japanese Yami Yugi is BETTER than Dan Green?
Am I the only one who thought Tea Gardener was hot as a teenager?
>>49399078This is pretty much how Home Movies was done, all the dialog was improvised
>>49401673Nah.She was a vapid slut.And even though this word is thrown around a lot these days, Yugi was literally a cuck.
>>49401970Really? Yugi liked watching other men fuck his GF? What part of the show hints at that to guide you to that conclusion?
>>49402212Yami and Yugi share a body. If one of them fucks, the other watches by default. At least one of them is a cuck, and Yami is too alpha to be cucked.
>>49402230Oh, well. Didn't think about it from that angle. Seems about right.
>>49402304Can you fix it for me, senpai?
>>49402345Well let's see if this works.
>>49402371Thanks senpai, now I can meme in style.
>there will never be a Yu-Gi-Oh like anime but with MtGIn a perfect world we would have that instead of the Jacetice league.
>>49402230But Atem left Yugi's body at the end of the series after getting beaten in a duel.
It stands no chance against my artifact from fyoras invissible tower
>>49402230But Yugi never fucked anyone before kicking Atem out of his head.Unless Rebeca raped him off-screen.
>>49402542>>49403899Yugi Moto is probably the biggest cuck in anime history.You just KNOW that Anzu was getting the dicking from the Pharaoh off screen.That's why she was so upset when he left in the final episode. she knows how good Atem is in bed, and she doesn't want that physical specimen to go back to his own time, because she will miss the intense pleasure he provides her.I imagine that she'd ambush Atem whenever he was in control of Yugi's body, probably when he'd finished duelling some dweeb, and fuck his brains out while little Yugi boy was forced to watch in his Millenium Prison.Imagine her fucking his massive Egyptian Obelisk, screaming his name (or not, because she doesn't know what it actually was,) and little Yugi was hovering there in his spirit form, his hand over where his dick would be, "pleasuring" himself whilst crying bitter tears of loneliness. She'd be brought to climax, and Atem and her would lie there, out of breath, and then he'd switch bodies really quickly and leave Yugi with the aftermath to talk about friendship, and to clean up the mess.Once Atem left? Pppht. She'd be drier than the Sahara desert around Yugi. MAYBE she might give him a pity handjob, because she has good intentions and because she misses Atem so damn much, but she'd realise halfway through how inferior he is physically compared to the Pharaoh and leave in disgust to go twiddle her twat at the Egyptian exhibit at the local museum.And then Yugi would run crying to Rebecca and they'd probably fuck, and they'd get together, get married, and settle down, but Yugi would forever think about Anzu's pussy, and how he never got a chance to smash that, and he'd forever be having to try not to yell her name while he was fucking his wife until he laid on his deathbed, and passed on to meet up with Atem in the spirit world.Sounds like a cuck to me.
>>49404139>someone, somewhere took time out of their day to type this out
>>49404139>screaming his name (or not, because she doesn't know what it actually was)Holy shit, my sidesI haven't seen this before, I hope this is not pasta because this is gold.
>>49404139>ywn have a cuck spirit living inside you who is forced to watch you whenever you're plowing some chick
>>49402389>600kbHow do you keep doing this?
My monster's special ability allow me to force all of your card's dicks into attack mode and launch their attacks at my monster simultaneously.
>>49405737read the description.
dammit the file name got changed :< meant to say "itwassupereffective.jpg" :<
I sacrifice my dignity, my sense of worth, and my social life to summon OBELISK THE TORMENTOR! I feel hollow inside, but Obelisk has 4000 ATK points, AND CANNOT BE COUNTERED! Your move, Asshat.
>>49405849Well then, I hardcast EMRAKUL, THE AEONS TORN. And during my extra turn, I attack! Forcing you to sacrifice a whole lot of stuff.I hope losing your dignity, sense of worth, and social life was worth it.
>>49406451Well, now that I lack any of those things, I have no qualms turning Emrakul into FROGRAKUL. Your destroyer of worlds is now a 0/1 Toad!
[spolier]I'LL ACTIVATE THE SEAL OF ORICHALCOS!!![/spoiler]
>>49406624No! I typed it wrong
>>49406560Shit, that's not a colored spell. But! I can still sacrifice FROGRAKUL for the mighty SUMMONED SKULL!
>>49406663Hm, an impressive play, but your Summoned Skull won't save you from my FOUR COLOURFUL GOATS!
>>49406698Sure it will, when I cast BERSERK on my SUMMONED SKULL! DOUBLING its ATTACK POWER and giving it the TRAMPLE ABILITY, allowing it to OVERRUN YOUR GOAT!NOW! SUMMONED SKULL! OVERLY DRAMATIC FANCIFULLY NAMED ATTACK!
>>49406754NO! HOW COULD I LOSE! HOW COULD MY GOATS FAIL ME! HOW!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>All of this is just an illusion.
>>49406812No Anon, we are in the virtual space created by Noah. We have to escape before it is too late.
>>49407124Then we will do so with glorious Soviet armored deck. Penguin man cannot hope to stand against T-34 weenie strategy. Who will challenge Ivan for supremacy of virtual world?
>>49407164I SUMMON TIGER 1 IN ATTACK POSITION!
>>49407278> proceeds to get destroyed because of engine failure
Necromancing this thread is the last mistake you'll make! I SUMMON PURPLE-EYED SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE DRAGON IN ATTACK MODE!
>>49409838I THEN equip my Purple-Eyed Special Snowflake Dragon with 'PURPLE-EYED REVOLVER'! This gives him +600 ATK, piercing damage, and forces you to discard a card whenever it destroys a monster!
>>49409880THEN, I equip him with 'PURPLE-EYED HAT', meaning he cannot be destroyed by spells or traps! This makes my Purple Eyed Special Snowflake Dragon NIGH INVINCIBLE!
>>49409911...I definitely didn't forget the hat.
>>49409930FINALLY, I PLAY 'PURPLE-EYED BLACK HOLE FLAMES!' This destroys ALL monsters that AREN'T Purple-Eyed Special Snowflake Dragon! Give up, Yugi, my highly specific deck with hilariously overpowered tech cards is unbeatable!
>>49409963Oh, alright, you got me. I scoop.How does it feel that you'll never get to attack after all that setup?
>>49394439I can duel 500 people at once!
>>49410139I only counted 34 duel disks, that's quite a bold claim.
>>49368707AAAAAAAAAWWWWW SHIT NIGA!I almost forgot about that fucking game - getting the machine deck and annoying the fuck out of my friend with how broken it was was the shit!
>>49410168That's only my first form.
>>49369733This is the stupidest and greatest thing ever.
>>49368707>>49410198My favorite was trying to corner myself in with some Pumpkings and turtling until they got too big to kill.
>>49378399If I recall correctly that monster had the following stats>Divine>Warrior effect>level 10>cannot be destroyed by battle>can attack twice>7900 atk(Most of these buffs were due to his equip spells though)
>>49375423Remember when quests first started and it was filled with yugioh threads?