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  • File :1245032688.png-(7 KB, 800x600, 1.png)
    7 KB Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:24 No.4882280  
    I just have to know something, /tg/. How will you act when you're not a dorf? Any age, race and gender is an option OTHER THAN a dorf.

    What will you be?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:26 No.4882294
    Drink a potion of polymorph and become a dorf.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:26 No.4882298
    I'm already not a Dorf.
    Never have I been one.
    I don't think I understand the premise.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:26 No.4882301
    inb4 the little girl.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:27 No.4882312
    act life a dwarf regardless. I'll just say I was orphaned by my origional race and was raised by dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:28 No.4882318
    oh man.
    thanks for that laugh /tg/

    i dunno what id be, id need some thought.
    maybe some kind of scummy marksman.
    and i mean scummy asin, trampish, not as in, a criminal.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:28 No.4882324
    >What will you be?

    the dorfiest non-dorf that ever dorfed
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:33 No.4882382
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    Alright. Let's see you do that as A LITTLE ELF GIRL IN A DRESS.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:35 No.4882411
    you know we are gonna make her the dorfiest thing that ever dorfed.
    you cant stop us from making her a drunk, strong, prosthetic beard wearing, cross dressing, awesome dorf wannabe
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:35 No.4882412
    I'm fapping already

    in fact as the little elf that is my first action
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:43 No.4882485
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    Without a penis, the action is awkward and not particularly stimulating, but she tries anyway.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)22:45 No.4882504
    Cast lightning bolt.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:48 No.4882544
    Go try and find a quest. That's what you do in fantasy worlds: find a quest and go adventuring.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)22:50 No.4882557
    Inventory and spell list check.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:50 No.4882559
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    Harnessing the elemental forces of nature itself, a lightning bolt arcs through the trees in a spectacular, yet pointless display.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:52 No.4882577
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)22:57 No.4882621
    Cast flight and observe the surrounding area.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:57 No.4882628
    i cast power word: drunk on myself
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)22:58 No.4882635
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    Distracted by your fapping and random displays of magical prowess, you've forgotten that your father's trade caravan leaves for the Dorf Fortress of Gearthundered this morning.

    Perhaps tagging along would be an interesting change of scenery.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:00 No.4882653
    tag along, and enter fort, refuse to leave.
    but that is for later...
    right now, remove these wafery elf garments and lok for some dorfy looking gear, search for some ginger hair dye in dads caravan
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)23:00 No.4882656
    That sounds good too.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:03 No.4882701
         File :1245035033.png-(138 KB, 590x691, Funny Beardy Elf says Hey fell(...).png)
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    Already done.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:08 No.4882762
    grow a penis
    find a girdle of m/f
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:09 No.4882779
    >find a girdle of m/f

    You're an elf - will it really matter?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:11 No.4882791

    But suddenly I remembered why I was secluded from the caravan to begin with. I am in my rebellious teenage years, you see, and my father has shown great disapproval for both my interest in magic and my most recent love interest. I'm considering running ahead of the caravan to the fortress to warn the dwarves that a gang of raiders, disguised as simple merchants, are headed their way with ill intent.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:11 No.4882794
    find girdle of dorf/elf
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:15 No.4882818
    Find a sergal and your superpowered mom to pal around and fight zombies and robots with.

    Oh wait...
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:16 No.4882838
    what's the elf's attributes?
    that's something we need to know first
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:18 No.4882855
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    You ask your father if you can come along.

    "I don't know... Those damned dwarves are a bunch of violent, unwashed drunks. It's no place for you to be."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:19 No.4882861
    Joanquest is NEVER COMING BACK.

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:20 No.4882874
    tell him you want to be a dwarf
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:20 No.4882878
    point out you havnt washed in a week either, and have been secretly supping mothers wine.
    you will be fine....
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:21 No.4882888
    This art style looks awfully familiar...
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:22 No.4882896
    Say in sweet young voice: "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, don't worry about me daddy"
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)23:22 No.4882897
    It's mspaint, of course it looks familiar.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:22 No.4882903
    tell dad I want to make half elf babies with the dorfs
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:23 No.4882911

    Feign fear and openly reconsider your request. Travel ahead of the caravan without your father's permission or notice.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:24 No.4882922
    Start as barbarian.
    Become spellcaster.
    Spend 1.9 skill points on becoming semiliterate.
    Purposefully misspell spells. Cast polymorph self until you accidentally cast polydorf self.
    enjoy your being TWICE the dwarf you were!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:24 No.4882925
    I never play as dorfs because they are boring, and one dimensional.




    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:26 No.4882950

    My dorf is a bald (head and chin) Bow bard, just because he can be.

    Bald bow bard.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:27 No.4882958
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:34 No.4883031
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    >Say in sweet young voice: "I'll be fine, I'll be fine, don't worry about me daddy"

    "Fine... but don't wander from the caravan. Those dwarves seem to enjoy flipping out and killing elves at random."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:36 No.4883050
    hop on the cart.
    look for some rough materials from which to fashion some dwarf clothing.
    is there any rough grass around we could use for a beard?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:36 No.4883053
    I will be the sluttiest goblin.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:37 No.4883061
    Slow AND Railroad.

    Both at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:37 No.4883069
    Act slightly surprised at what he says, but keep insisting and attempting to annul his fears.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:37 No.4883071
    > :3

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:38 No.4883079
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:40 No.4883098
    Power of :3 and boobs
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)23:41 No.4883103
    What's in the wagon?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:41 No.4883105
    Bugbear. I'll rape barmaids, then eat the remains.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:44 No.4883132
    I use my naive father's belief that I am a sweet, innocent, starry-eyed little girl to my advantage and search the caravan for things to steal while he's not looking closely enough.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:46 No.4883145
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    You assure your father that you'll be fine. What could a few stubby mole-people do anyway?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:47 No.4883155
    I don't play dwarves. ._.

    Favorite role is playing a human male, usually some mix of classes to make a light-footed, speedy "Come out of nowhere and stab you like nine thousand times" sort of guy.

    IRL I'm a half-nerd; I do nerdy shit, but have friends who I interact with that are complete non-nerds.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:49 No.4883184
    That wagon looks awfully familliar...

    Better stay away from dark caves.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:54 No.4883225
    I want to say "Hi", very innocently, to some of the Dwarves on the cart...
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/14/09(Sun)23:55 No.4883231
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    You don't get to be a dorf! The whole point of this is to have a quest that doesn't involve being an axe wielding midget! If you don't stop trying to be a dorf, the whole thing will be cut short! KEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:57 No.4883244
    I don't care this is the first RPG I've played in a while
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)23:58 No.4883248
    no it wont knoll.
    OP practically dared us to do this, he brought it upon himself.
    he even railroaded us to a dwarf fortress!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:01 No.4883265
    Halflings are better for that. Humans are good for the "does everything" classes.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:01 No.4883270

    You're just railroading the whole thing anyway. Not much point in giving input if you're just going to accept the suggestions you were going to take anyway, especially since we don't know which posts are just you pushing your own plot along.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:03 No.4883279
    I'd be a short-ish magic wielding changeling, searching to enhance my arcane knowledge. Also, I'd be able to change into a dorf, among other things.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:05 No.4883292
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:05 No.4883294

    I'm not OP, but these are all my posts:


    In case the OP is accused of railroading
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:07 No.4883305
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    But Anon, I am the OP! Search your heart, you know it to be true.

    I just avoided using a TRIPcode, I didn't want it to be a STUMBLING block, but now the whole thing FALLEN into chaos! KEHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:09 No.4883327
    Anyway, back to the story. I don't want to railroad but I've never done this before and we need a set up to get into some action! OH GOD, I AM NOT GOOD AT PLANNING!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:15 No.4883349

    You can take off-the-wall suggestions and keep things interesting. You're a drawfag, improvise. Didn't the thespians ever teach you? It's Yes, And!

    Now search your daddy's cart for something to lift. You're a vain little elfish waif, there's got to be something in there that'll appeal to your vanity.

    In fact, who all is in the caravan, anyway?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:18 No.4883372
    oh... so we have t.. NOT be a dwarf.
    i thought it was a dare, for us to make something undwarfy as dwarfy as we could, like a challenge.
    so.. are we upposed to.. frolic in the grass?
    paint our nails? braid our hair?
    little elf girl quest doesent seem like much fun.... you have to make something happen, gnoll.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:19 No.4883383

    We're trying, but he doesn't seem to know where he wanted to go with this, and he's not taking suggestions that are in any way out of the ordinary.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:22 No.4883404
    I think we should braid our hair.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:24 No.4883416
    no way man!
    DWARVES braid their beards! why would we want to be anything like that uncouth filth!?
    certainly not in THIS quest.
    i say we make daisy chains and wear them like a big tiara.
    then frolic.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:25 No.4883429
    I'm trying not to jump into things for no reason. She doesn't have Beardbeards 0 logic score.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:27 No.4883444

    You're trying too hard. Chill out, you're on /tg/. You'd be surprised how well things turn out when you're willing to forfeit a degree of control.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:28 No.4883460
    Explain what rules/game/character we are playing and what the fucking stats are!
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:31 No.4883485
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    Alright then. Logic is out the window. Let's get chaotic!
    The caravan consists of your father, the merchant Haldamir and a contingent of guards. In the back of the wagon is a variety of things for trading with the Dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:32 No.4883494
    She nags her daddy for a pet.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:33 No.4883497
    I like halflings and before 4E gnomes. And the first one of you fuckers that suggests I check the MM should shut the fuck up, gnomes ARE NOT fey that can disappear/what the fuck ever that gay at will racial is at will. Gnomes are the inventive masters of impracticality and jokes of the subterranean world. Cousin to the dwarf and masters of invention and magic. Gnomes in 3.5 were made of win. Gnomes in 4E are gay prancing faries. GIVE ME BACK MY GNOMES!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:34 No.4883504
    so guys.. are we going to play out the dream of being the little girl?
    or are we going to dorf it up?
    gnoll says logic is out the window.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:34 No.4883508

    we're not /a/, after all.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:34 No.4883510
    Sweetly, I chat idly to the guards, about young girl things such as flowers, and nature
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:35 No.4883516
    So gnomes in 4E are spriggans?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:36 No.4883522

    Its worth mentioning that besides the whole ritual casting shit and no wizard only spells that aren't directly offensive, and the general lack of illusions (seriously, magic needed a tone down, but what the shit guys?) Gnomes are my only real complaint with 4E
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:37 No.4883532
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    Here's your heroine/victim. The complete antithesis of Beardbeard, Alebeard and any other Beards.

    We still need an elfy name here.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:37 No.4883539
    Search the things for delicious treats to eat.
    >> . 06/15/09(Mon)00:38 No.4883541
    Elfy Name...

    Alwyre Treehugger?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:38 No.4883543
    Slutsword Magicarrow.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:38 No.4883545
    im personally going for the angle of a little elf girl who just finds dwarves fascinating.
    she loves them, wants to know more about them, if she has to dress and act like tem to get in their good books she will, but shed prefer to be frolicking, maybe even having little girly outbursts while in dorven disguise
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:38 No.4883547
    Minwen Melloneth
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:39 No.4883556
    colonthree le'frolique
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:40 No.4883560
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:41 No.4883571
    This. We must fatten her up to have DEM HIPS.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:42 No.4883577
    Moonbloom Sparklelight nicknamed "Moony"
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:42 No.4883578
    Goldblossom Starbreeze Lyylwlmynythllwyllyn
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:42 No.4883580
    exactly what im aiming for.
    kind of like everyone on /tg/ itself...but we are a little girl instead of a nerd.
    could be interesting, could be really shit.
    lets roll!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:42 No.4883583
    So we're playing the storyteller system then?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:43 No.4883594

    This is pretty elfy.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:44 No.4883600
    Beardbeard is dwarfly. Elfy would be... Treemoon? Moontree? Maybe Moonleaf?

    Whatever it is, it's got to have "moon". And some allusion to trees.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:46 No.4883613
    Elfy Elfina?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:47 No.4883626
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    Doesn't get more elfy than Feanor
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:47 No.4883627

    She needs a first name, too. Some relentlessly pretty girly-name.

    Sapphire Moonleaf?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:49 No.4883635

    I like it.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:50 No.4883644
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    Ahh, Feanor. The only elf a dorf can respect. Mostly because he's got the most bling.

    NEXT INSTRUCTION FOR QUEST: Try to be more like Feanor. It is the next step to becoming a dorf.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:51 No.4883655
    It doesn't need moon, and Treeleaf is a perfectly elvish sounding cleche of a last name.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:51 No.4883657
    Gnoll... you are pretty slow.
    pick a name from the choices and lets have it.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:51 No.4883662
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    >A kind of gemstone
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:51 No.4883664

    Also, this
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:52 No.4883667
    Moonsun Sunmoon
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:52 No.4883669
    Drizzt Do'Urden would be a good name
    >> Voice of reason Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)00:53 No.4883687
    Oh wait...just a gnoll.
    OOH, a QUEST you say?
    I'll endeavor to help out!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:54 No.4883690
    I think we should seduce a manly elf who is friends with a dorfy dwarf then make them mortal enemies.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)00:54 No.4883694
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    Moonleaf really speaks to me as a good elvish name.

    Anyway, Moonleaf sneaks into a crate marked food and finds a pile of odd purple mushrooms. They look quite plump.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:56 No.4883709
    First I will be Estellarion Moonleaf, the most fey elf to ever compose an ode to a single leaf and caper about in moonlit groves.

    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:56 No.4883712

    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)00:56 No.4883718
    They are icky, and most unbeffiting of your ELF TASTES. I say you should put them back, and look for some ELF FOODSTUFFS. (like PEOPLE)
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)00:57 No.4883722
    I untie my belt, combining it with the plump helmet in order to fashion a makeshift strap-on.

    And then start searching for some menacing spikes.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)00:59 No.4883735
    Look in the barrels, they might contain sunshine.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:00 No.4883747
    Wear one as a helmet.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:00 No.4883750
    your father discovers you fucking around with the mushrooms and gets really pissy.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:00 No.4883752
    I wish to throw one of the mushrooms at the guards, saying "Oops! I missed my mouth :O"
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:00 No.4883757

    Let the Feanor within find expression! Use these plump hatlike things with whatever else is handy to forge an artifact of wonder... then get into a foamy berseker rage at any prospect of someone taking it from you!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:01 No.4883759
    No wait, scratch that, use it to masturbate.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:01 No.4883760
    no, no.
    my intense knowledge of dwares say they would not eat this.
    so neither shall i, search more barrels, looking for anything dwarfy that i could wonder at
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:02 No.4883773
    also, we must find you something to do on the way there.
    I propose we find some INSTRUMENTS or WEAPONS to play with.
    >> Diseased Guardsman 06/15/09(Mon)01:05 No.4883794
    Put down the MUSHROOM and look for an instrument/weapon,
    maybe a combination of both like a DRUM and a CLUB.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:05 No.4883796
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    Upon tasting the mushroom (mostly for fanservice reasons) She finds it to be musty and bitter. No good for eating at all.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:07 No.4883813
    >Any age, race and gender is an option OTHER THAN a dorf.

    I wish to be the little elven girl.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:08 No.4883824
    We did warn her. But the picture is saved none the less.
    Now, investigate the OTHER barrels. Maybe father is bringing some BETTER goods to these TREEKILLING mongrels.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:12 No.4883864
    Judging by our stats, we are no fighter, I hope we can rely on our WITS more.
    Oh how delightful.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:14 No.4883877
    Wear one of those pots on your head as a helm. Pick up one of those swords.

    Run outside yelling, " I'M AN ADVENTURER!"
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:14 No.4883880
    Do irrational elven things, like going outside beneath the glare of the hated sun, and not burning trees.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)01:15 No.4883891
    We can also use magic since we're an elf.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:15 No.4883892
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    There's a large keg full of some kind of fluid...
    And suddenly arrows.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:16 No.4883902
    Fuck wits, did you see that lightning bolt we pulled out of fucking nowhere (after building up a charge by attempting to fap without the proper equipment)? You don't need street smarts when you have a high CHA score and levels in Sorceror!
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 06/15/09(Mon)01:16 No.4883903
    I want to be a 12 year old human female.
    Or any age of human female.
    Or any female of age of any race.
    I just want to be a woman so badly ;_;
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:16 No.4883906
    Don't care. Eat the mushroom. DEM HIPS
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:16 No.4883910
    Arrows are NOT a good thing.
    Grab a POT or PAN.
    Look out the FRONT of the CART
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:17 No.4883912
    What's it looking like outside?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:17 No.4883914
    its obviously alcohol.
    drink as much as you can in 3 of you tiny girlish mouthfulas and run like the clappers out of this wagon.
    look for a big strong elven [lol] guard to help you from the hail of arrows.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)01:17 No.4883918
    Create magical repulsion field.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:18 No.4883920
    Hide behind the keg, then peek to see where arrows came from
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:18 No.4883922
    1.Drink Ale
    2.Run Away
    3. Find Help
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:18 No.4883925
    I second this as long as DEM TITTIES
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:19 No.4883929
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:20 No.4883942
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:21 No.4883944
    Confuse the attackers with a piercing elven yodel!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:24 No.4883959
    Roll BARREL out back of WAGON. Cast FIREBALL at BARREL once it is at a safe distance.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:27 No.4883973
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    Goblin raiders have attacked the caravan! Moonleaf's father is slumped in his seat and the few remaining guards struggle with the horde of greenskins.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:30 No.4883994
    Hide in barrel of ale.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:30 No.4883995
    This is no place for our INTELLECT!
    Unless...I know!
    We'll RUN AWAY!
    Who KNOWS what goblins do to their CAPTURED.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:31 No.4884004
    ("This is the part where you run away.")
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:32 No.4884010
    Drink ale, eat shrooms. THIS PLAN CANT FAIL
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:33 No.4884020
    Also, forgot to mention. While doing so, wait for the actual hero to show up and slay all the bad guys. -4 str and all
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:34 No.4884025
    If we have any levels in cleric, heal father then run like hells.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:34 No.4884028
    I SAID I confuse them with a PIERCING ELVEN YODEL!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:36 No.4884045

    Goblins have no respect for nature, leaving our father slumped like that.
    We have to ensure the natural balance is kept.
    It is our elven duty to eat his corpse.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:36 No.4884049
    I believe they have the appropiate means to SILENCE any MUSECRAFTING we might try, before it can take effect! ARROWS are deadly to our close ranged SONIC ATTACK.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:37 No.4884051
    Drink ale, eat shrooms, get fat.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:38 No.4884056
    Lightning Bolt those greenskin bastards.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:38 No.4884064
    I second this, dem hips etcetcetc
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:39 No.4884069
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:39 No.4884071
    Cast AAM YOG TAAR or AAM YOG SPACIUM until out of mana. If all else fails cast KAL-LOR.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:39 No.4884076
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    The sudden urge to drink from the random barrel overwhelms her and she chugs as only a elf can, in tiny sips.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:40 No.4884080

    Kill them with fi-wait, you're in a forest.

    Use ice! ICE!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:41 No.4884088
    you forgot the shrooooms! c'mon, eat the shrooms, its time to get high
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:41 No.4884091

    Roll a Fort save! Can her waify Elven physiology handle it?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)01:41 No.4884092
    Create some sort of evil spirit from the alcohol then light it on fire.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:43 No.4884113
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:43 No.4884116
    Even I know that those aren't THOSE kind of SHROOMS.
    I hope we can ESCAPE soon.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:44 No.4884119
    Eat the mushroom.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:48 No.4884169
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    Who's brilliant idea was this? Her frail elven constitution is no match for the powerful Dorfen spirits.

    Status: Severely Inebriated.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:48 No.4884170
    Hide in the barrel this is no time for substance abuse.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:48 No.4884172

    Use your spells and kill the goblins.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:49 No.4884184
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:49 No.4884189

    1. Hide in barrel.
    2. BARREL ROLL THOSE MOFOS. +5 Barrel of Smiting Fury, yes?
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:50 No.4884199
    This can only be cured by eating the mushrooms.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:51 No.4884208
    Stumble around into some gobwins.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:52 No.4884211
    East mushrooms. Must become stocky.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:53 No.4884225

    I prefer West mushrooms, myself.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)01:53 No.4884227
    Hmm. Theres go our Int score.
    Hide under the MUSHROOMS.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:53 No.4884234
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:55 No.4884244
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:55 No.4884249
    Area effect spells, posthaste! And if that's alcohol, it might burn. So spill the remainder towards the foes and LIGHT IT AFLAME WITH MAGIC POWAH
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:56 No.4884255

    Douse mushrooms with alcohol, zap with lightning bolt, fling resulting flaming mushroom at a goblin.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:56 No.4884256
    If we eat shroowms we will only think we are casting high levels spells.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:56 No.4884260
    Trip on a rock and land on a cock!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)01:56 No.4884263
    feign death with inebriated sleep!
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)01:57 No.4884274
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    The battle rages outside. Moonleaf crams her face with Plump Helmets. IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:00 No.4884298

    God, why.

    Okay, do we have any ranks in Firespitting? Spit alcohol and ignite with electric bolts for medieval flamethrower get.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/15/09(Mon)02:00 No.4884304
    This is too silly for me.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:01 No.4884308
    Oh god yes. I abstain from voting to celebrate this victory for all drug addicts everywhere
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:01 No.4884312
    We should hide at least now we won't feel guilty.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)02:02 No.4884318
    No! We're in trouble now! We're taking TOO LONG! Quickly, Try and peek out back, to see if we can ESCAPE
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:02 No.4884323
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)02:03 No.4884331
    And don't forget to DUAL WIELD POTS and PANS
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:04 No.4884335
    Continue gorging self till DEM HIPS and DEM TITTIES
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:04 No.4884336
    Bitch better swallow.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:04 No.4884341
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:09 No.4884385
    quit bawwwing and get the fuck outta there,
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:09 No.4884389
    Hide in barrel, sneak past goblins a la Solid Snake.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:09 No.4884390
    Hide one of in the wagon's crates or barrels!

    Or at least search for something which may be of use.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:11 No.4884406
    After having prepared your body with beer and your mind with mushrooms, you are not ready to fight! Go get those goblins.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:13 No.4884420
    This. We're too lanky!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:14 No.4884428

    Fuck! I meant "now" ready to fight.

    I need to go to bed.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)02:15 No.4884435
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    Fueled by Dorfen rum and RAGE, Moonleaf busts some heads.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:16 No.4884442
    Okay, new plan: Take two pans for DUAL WIELDING, hide in barrel, bash in the face of any goblin who raids the wagon for loot.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:17 No.4884456
    Finally some action!

    start looting corpses
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:18 No.4884467
    Whose your daddy? What's his name and did he die? If not then feed him mushrooms.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:20 No.4884487
    Argh, too late.

    Spot check, approx. how many goblins are in the raiding party? If there's a lot I don't think we'll do so well due to DELICATE FEMALE FRAME.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:21 No.4884501
    Summon the powers of the mother earth and combine it with the fires of dwarven ale. Focus into blast focused at goblins.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:23 No.4884527
    Loot corpses! Then stun goblins with lighting and hit them while they're helpless!
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)02:27 No.4884564
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    Moonleaf leaps into acti- OH GODS! HHHHHHURRRRRRRFFFFFFFF!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:29 No.4884576
    Oh noes! Will save, pull yourself together Moonleaf! Don't go the same way as your father!
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:30 No.4884595
    turn invicible
    pretend to be a leaf
    amything to aviod detection.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:32 No.4884616
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)02:33 No.4884623
    Poor judgement.
    We are not dorfen.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:36 No.4884651
    This is why non-dorfs should not use DORFEN RAGE.
    >> Gnoll !1u4YNSY0gk 06/15/09(Mon)02:37 No.4884653
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    Save failed. Moonleaf collapses in a drunken stupor.
    What will happen next? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!

    That wasn't so completely awful.... considering.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:39 No.4884669
    gonna get drunk-raped by a goblin.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:41 No.4884691
    someone archive this.
    >> Guardsman Ted 06/15/09(Mon)02:42 No.4884700
    I hope I was useful in my capacity.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:42 No.4884706
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    Wait, is this it?

    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:44 No.4884718

    When? Please don't crap out on us when you started something like this.

    I actually found this RPG enjoyable.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)02:48 No.4884735
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    Have some teddy grahams for being a dorfen sport.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/15/09(Mon)03:04 No.4884844
    I enjoyed your quest, Gnoll.
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)04:55 No.4885433
    gnoll wins at action
    >> Anonymous 06/15/09(Mon)05:25 No.4885574

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