Welcome back, pugilists of the stars, to the thirty-seventh installment of Mecha Space Pirate Quest. I'm your host, Wong, and you are as usual Admiral Roarke S. Starwind of the Iron Kestrels, currently the dominant pirate power in the region and pilot of the still-undefeated Knuckle Kaiser.Previous Threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Mecha+Space+Pirate+Quest%2C+Collective+Game%2C+mechaMaster Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/sSHs0QmFUpgrade Menu: http://pastebin.com/QQQzkFZeList of Moves: http://pastebin.com/HSdyCe2yRogues' Gallery: http://pastebin.com/E9ZcDLfGLast time, you learned the meaning of the phrase "let sleeping tigers lie" and began your hand-to-hand training with the Undefeated, the mysterious old man of Auditorium.>20 minutes later, captcha let Wong post the OP and then worked fine on all successive tests
>>48033181Seriously, it decided to do the whole "you must copypaste this text to post" nonsense, only the post button wouldn't show up and it was clipping through the threads below it. Now it's fine, but Amuro DAMN it that was annoying.
>>48033204Did you try setting it to wombo?
After eating dinner with the Undefeated and telling him your story, you cleaned the fishing equipment and assorted knicknacks out of the guest bedroom and got some sleep. The next day started at the moment Auditorium's artificial day cycle began. The morning run wasn't so bad, but it would have been a lot easier without the Undefeated riding piggyback on your shoulders and Domon chasing you with orders to bite your ankles if you slowed down. This new exercise, though? This one you aren't sure about at all."Master, why do you want me to punch sand?" You look down into the oversized flowerpot, packed full of gritty, yellow-brown sediment.The Undefeated laughs, "Didn't you feel when I hit you the first time, boy? Killing a man with your bare fists is about more than just technique, it's a matter of toughening your skin." You must still look skeptical, because he sighs and turns towards a nearby pine tree, "I needed more firewood anyway. You want proof that it works? Watch. I'll show you that my methods aren't just talk." Without putting much effort behind it or bothering to take a stance, he makes a fist, bends his arm, and launches a swift jab into the rough wood. ...and with a sharp crack, like a gunshot, the tree splinters and starts to sway. The old man turns to grin at you as the tree begins to topple towards him, and right before you're about to shout a warning he lifts his hand overhead and catches it, "This is the power of humanity, once you overcome the limits your mind imposes on your body." He shrugs, and throws the main trunk bodily to the ground, "I'll have you chop that up later. It's good for your back. After you've mastered punching sand, we'll move you up to smooth gravel, then rough gravel, then rocks, then broken glass shards. That's going to be the biggest pain. Glass and sand are more or less the same thing, so your training essentially goes full circle."You start punching.[Continued]
>>48033408Master Asia, you are the best master.
>>48033408Can't wait till we learn to destory mechs worh our hands
"More intensity, put your hips into it! You aren't in space, and you don't have microthrusters in your elbows to cheat in your natural body!"You look at him curiously, and he shrugs, "I still watch the news out here, I'm familiar with your mech."Domon yawns, curling up on the pine needles and resting his fuzzy chin on his massive paws."No slacking off!" The Undefeated's slipper-clad foot slices through the air less than an inch above Domon's ears, making the huge cat yowl and cower, "Go, you have chores too!" The old man points off into the woods. The tiger gets up, looking extremely sorry for himself and looking reproachfully over his shoulder at you as he slinks off.Tiny clouds of sediment puff up from the surface of the jar as you continue punching. It isn't all that difficult, yet, but it is tedious...>[Ask about him]>[Ask about his fighting style]>[Ask about Domon]
>>48033571>Ask about him>Ask about his fighting style
>>48033571>>[Ask about him]>>[Ask about his fighting style]>>[Ask about Domon]Ask everything
>>48033571>>[Ask about him]>>[Ask about his fighting style]>>[Ask about Domon]Is Domon looking for his brother?
>>48033571>[Ask about Domon]
>>48033571>Ask fighting style>Ask about DomonWhat chores can a tiger actually do?
AWW YISSSSSSSS MECHA SPACE PIRATE QUEST LIVE AND RUNNING WOOOO>>[ASK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING STYLE]"Master, is there anyway to speed this up? I have quite a fair bit of experience in punching butts into submission."
>>48033821Thats the best way to get your shit kicked in. There is no shortcuts when it comes to mastery of the body. Expect Master Asia to force a living hell of training on you.
"Master, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" A little conversation helps pass the time as you pummel the sand."Don't rush. Keep your pace steady or you'll just wear yourself out. You're made of good stone, boy, but the edges are too rough and need to be chipped away for the true shape of your technique to emerge." The Undefeated flips his braid over his shoulder and sits lotus-style on the ground, "It's not as interesting a story as you might think, there were a lot of us old relics left to rust after the War. I was one of them. I'd lost my wife to the Green Men's killing spores, and my daughter died fighting them. After the fighting was done, I was a wreck. There was no place for me in the UJCIDF with their fancy swords and fancy uniforms and fancy laws, so I retired. I did my best to get lost in the most backwater colony I could find, to find some kind of peace and master tranquility. I didn't count on that cyclops girl showing up and taking over the place, sometimes I think about moving on, but I've got roots here now and rebuilding the cabin would be a pain. I'd been an interplanetary martial arts champion even before the War, but I didn't discover the true secrets of fighting until I removed myself from the world for a while and mastered the way of Void.""Her name is Rosita, don't call her a cyclops." Your voice must have come out a little sharper than you anticipated, because he glances at you with one eyebrow raised, "Sorry Master, but she wouldn't like that and neither do I."His amused expression becomes a smirk."Anyway, what is this style called?" You're familiar with martial arts from extensive simflick-watching. A good fighting movie is one of the few things you, Yoritomo, and Richard can all enjoy when you have a guys' night and hang out. In your experience, all martial arts taught by mysterious old men have fancy names like First Pulse Style, Iron Palm, Heaven's Blessing, Golden Crane, or Fist of the North Star.[Continued]
I wonder how long its going to take before Wong decides to use some One Piece portrates for characters
>>48034015>Fist of the North staroh yes
>>48034015>or Fist of the North StarOda, you man of good taste.
>>48034092>>48034094Oh boy, we about to gib some mechas.
>>48034147Did you see what Master Asia can do to mechs?
"Fighting.""Just fighting?" You can't help feeling slightly disappointed."Well, if you want to be fancy you could call it 'Invincible Void Fist' or something, but it's all just fighting really, really well." He shrugs, "Fighting is simply existing in a state of violence. It isn't just what you do, it's how you, you personally, live. I say void because the void is at the heart of this style. The void surrounds us, the void is inside of us, the void is all elements and none simultaneously. In every classical depiction of the elements, void is there, whether it is acknowledged or not. Need no weapon, suffer no illusions, see with clear eyes the reality of the galaxy as it is, endure no distractions, strike without hesitation, all of that. The empty hand itself is your weapon, the only one that can truly be considered a real extension of your body. Although a certain young soldier under my command back during my soldiering days once argued extensively with me about this. I may be right, but I think his views were more popular. They certainly are easy to teach. I can teach anyone the basics of close-quarters combat, but to truly master my style one must be familiar with but not tainted by any weapons besides their own fists and feet." He explains."I've fired a handgun once or twice." You admit.He holds up a cautionary finger, "Maybe, but your instinct isn't to go for your gun. You were wearing it when I attacked you, and you didn't even twitch towards it, I was watching. Perhaps you even forgot you had it there. I have seen people better than you, but none of them had the same sheer, bloody-handed determination to win by punching my face in that you did.""Thanks, I guess. Master, how long do I have to keep doing this?" Your knuckles, callused as they are, are starting to sting from the sand's constant scouring as your fists beat out a drumbeat on the sediment as rhythmic as a heartbeat."Just a few more hours, it's your first day."[Continued]
>>48034241>Master taught SternCan't wait till we see Stern again and he sees our new fighting style
"So...what's with Domon?" You ask. You've been wondering about the tiger, he seems oddly well-behaved for what simflicks have led you to believe are beautiful but extremely dangerous creatures."You mean your Senior Brother? I've given him a little training, too. Both of you came to me already capable of mauling your average human being, both of you needed help to reach your true potential. Of course, my style is better suited to a human being, but since Domon weighs over eight hundred pounds and can run down a deer without exerting himself I don't think he minds."You think about this for a minute. It does, admittedly, make sense. "How did you get a tiger in the first place?" You can't exactly imagine a cute little baby Domon sitting expectantly in the window of a pet shop waiting for someone to adopt him."I didn't. Your Rosita did. She was holding a concert, and somehow she got it into her head that she needed a tiger cub as a prop. Genetically modified animals are still a legal grey area, it's possible she got one that was a little smarter than usual off the black market, but it's hard to tell, he's dumber than a box of rocks most of the time. Anyway, he escaped into the woods, or maybe she just stopped paying attention to him once the show was over and he slipped away. He stole my dinner, so I decided to have him pay his debt and taught him to guard the house when I'm not home." He shrugs.You continue punching, "Master, wouldn't you have to be away from home less if you lived closer to town?"The Undefeated snorts, "Not worth the trouble. I don't like people, most of them, and most people don't like me either. Maybe that's why I get along with Domon so well, tigers normally live a solitary existence. That's just my preference, though, I'm not planning on making you adopt a monastic lifestyle as a forest-dwelling hermit or anything away from your crew and your women."[Continued]
>>48034556We gotta punish Rosita when we get back.
>>48034291You say that, but then he pulls out his Big ol beam sword that is 20 kills o damage, quick, and hyper that happens to be worth about 60 cp or so. It can be done, but it is most definetly a 'skill only' weapon.
>>48034602Oh, there are plenty of cruel attributes an EMW can have.
He grins, "Speaking of, who was that cute little number you were with the other night, with the dark hair and big eyes? I recognized her stance, and she's got good reflexes, I bet I can guess who her teacher is. She was pretty protective of you, too." He waggles his eyebrows."Samantha." You know, punching sand really does start to hurt after a while."I saw you grin when you mentioned Red Siren's real name earlier. Both of them are okay with whatever arrangement you've got with them?" He laughs, crossing his arms over his chest.You just grin."Attaboy. Anyway, your training won't just be punching. After this, I'm going to have you kick trees until your calves bleed, then we'll meditate, followed by an evening jog. We're not just making you a better fighter, the way of the void will improve your general athleticism and your senses as well..." He suddenly sits up, glancing off into the woods, the tone of his voice becoming slightly more terse as though annoyed with something, "By the way, stay on this side of the forest, the other side of these mountains is dangerous for you right now.""Why, Master?" You're not used to anything being dangerous to you that you can't either beat down or don't have a prayer of winning against."It just is. There's a soul too tainted to teach, too strong to leave alone, and not strong enough to kill, living out there. I bet he's trying to poach my game again." The Undefeated stands up, sighing and dusting himself off, "Time to go pummel him again." With a single leap, he lands in the treetops, springing away more like a gibbon than a man.You continue punching. The artificially-induced clouds slowly move, the only sense you have that time is passing. >[Roll 1d10+9]
Rolled 10 + 9 (1d10 + 9)>>48034754TIME FOR TRAINING MONTAGEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE
Rolled 5 + 9 (1d10 + 9)>>48034754For Victory
>>48034602Quick derailing question. When hit, the damage of the weapon is subtracted by the stopping power of the armor and the total kills of the servo, yes?
Rolled 7 + 9 (1d10 + 9)>>48034787>>48034754>DamnSon.jpg
It his everything at the same time. If this thing hits you, EVERY part of you takes a hit for 20 kills. Hyper is HORRIFYING for it's cost, but the result is even scarier if you go high enough, since it can guarantee blinding a mech with a weak head, clipping wings, and gibbing smaller machines with a hit.>>48034723Oh yeah. Solid Melee weapons are more 'screw your fancy shit' when it comes to armor piercing and disruptive for armor and reactive shields. Also, that book is horrifying for a creative mind. Showed it to my buddy and let him use 140 cp. First he made a hover tank, then he started laughing about space bees, size rules, and the drone systems.
>>48034801I'm not sure what you mean. You subtract the SP of the servo (its armor) from the damage, the SP goes down by one (barring Beta/Gamma armor shenanigans), and the rest is dealt in damage to the servo. For instance, let's say you have a servo with 7 Kills and 4 SP of armor, and you hit it with a 10 Kill attack. 4 Kills would be stopped by the armor, which would then be reduced to 3 SP, and the remaining damage would reduce the servo to 1 Kill.
>>48034909Yes. Although the book could stand to be a bit more clear on whether a drone gets MV based on its own weight or the weight of the controlling machine, in my opinion, there are a lot of extremely cruel things you can do with it. This is part of the reason why Soul A is so effective with its current lineup. Caesar is an absolute terror against enemy aces because he can put out so much damage that it can pierce almost any reactive shield on a charge (granted, Ave Caesar is the quest's own invention, normally you can't perform the Drop maneuver with a weapon) and does ridiculous Armor Piercing damage, Naomi is a fragile mook swarm's worst nightmare, and Pierre can both wreck things with his AoE Burst missiles and is pretty dangerous to anyone with his beam axes and active shield tail, making him versatile despite having the cheapest existing SOUL mech.
You settle into a stance, get out your PC, put on some Joe Esposito on loop and let the music reinvigorate your soul while you get to work. You're the best around, and nothing's gonna ever keep you down. Your knuckles drum the sand in time with the beat, humming along. You think about your brother. You think about the Avalonians. You think about that dumb kid with the beam cannon and imagine beating him over the head with it while he cries. You think about punching General Fairchild so hard it shoots her straight through the hull of her ship and into space on a direct course for the sun. Even as sweat trickles down your back and along your chin, you find yourself smiling. The sand scrapes your knuckles raw, but you already know from your own experiences that strength is never gained without some measure of pain.A thin, reedy sound interrupts your musings and training. Slowing down a little, you look around and catch it again, from the direction opposite the one the Undefeated headed towards."Help! Someone, help! Please!" It's a woman's voice.>[Keep training]>[Investigate]
>>48035339>>[Investigate]Roarke is always willing to help a lady if shes pretty
I hope there is a special place in hell for the person who decided automatic mandatory restarts for updates was a good idea for computers. I hope it involves having his testicles peeled by angry scorpions. That took entirely too long to resolve.
>>48035352We're gentleman pirates. We're always there for ladies in distressexcept if they SJW-tier crazy
>>48035371It's the job to pave hell's pavement with frozen lawyers.
>>48035389Oh boy I can already imagine the other waifus reactions when we bring back another one from a training trip
>>48035339>[Investigate]Standard Wuxia tropes dictate that we should always investigate women in danger. They also dictate that we will often see (but not yet recognize) the primary antagonist in scenes such as these.Did you end up binging Wulin Hero Quest over the past few days, Wong?
>>48035339SPACE SKINWALKER!!!!! WE MUST KILL IT WITH OUR BARE HANDS!>[Investigate]
Of course you're going to investigate, you're Admiral Roarke Starwind. The Undefeated left out a bucket full of water and a ladle, and you pour some of the water over your head to cool off before jogging into the woods.Up ahead, you see Domon, sitting quite patiently near the edge of one of the tiger traps you nearly fell into on your way up here. The delicate lattice of slender wood has snapped, and you hear a scrambling from inside the hole, followed by a thud and a little "Oof!" The tiger somehow manages to look amused, licking one of his tremendous paws lazily.That voice sounds pretty familiar, actually.You glance down into the pit, and your suspicions are confirmed. Her dirt-smudged face is suddenly wreathed in a smile, her braids waving behind her as she jumps up and tries to grab for you. Karen's glasses are askew, and she's supplemented her usual cheongsam and toolbelt...complete with her wrench...with a huge backpack clearly stuffed full of things. That, plus the picnic basket hanging from her elbow, are making it even more difficult to climb out than usual.[Continued]
>>48035589Damnit Wong you had me all excited about a new girl, and its just Karen>Go back to training
>>48035504Yes. Unsuccessful fish-thief is love, unsuccessful fish-thief is life. It's hard knowing that it ended too soon, just like every Legends of the Wulin game I've played in.
>>48035625The mental image is hilarious but you're going to hell if you abandon First Waifu.
>>48035589>Go back to trainingwe're training WITH A PURPOSE karen. leave the basket and leave. i'll nom the food later.
>>48035625Let me amend that [Continued]>[Be kind to her and help]>[Tease her, then help her out]>[Just go back to training]
>>48035625This made me laugh a lot harder than it had any right to
>>48035676tease her then go back to training
>>48035676>>[Tease her, then help her out]Come on Karen, while it's nice you came here, we are going to have to tease you relentlessly.
>>48035676>[Tease her, then help her out]All the other waifus would be disappointed if we left her, but tell her we have to focus on our training and that she should go back after a very quick lunch
>>48035676>[Cover the hole with leaves]>[Just go back to training]We got bags of sands to punch.
>>48035676>[Be kind to her and help]>[Then tease her, before going back to training]Dammit Karen. The gesture is appreciated, but is 'hermitic training secluded from external distractions' really so difficult to understand?When are the other three going to show up?
>Finally a Karen scene>The Karen-hater and Thunderbird are both hereBeing Best Girl is suffering.
>>48035758>Best girl? I don't see Sam or Clemmy here
>>48035758My anti-Karen and Pro-trap stance has been very clear since the beginning
>>48035758Childhood Friends invariably have to put up with a lot of shit. They always have the hardest path to victory, no matter how much heart they have. It's such a staple of the genre that you can't quite begrudge your fellow questers for it.
>>48035758>Karen sabotages our chance to hone our martial skills due to her selfishnessAlso implying there is only one Karen-hater. Might as well use this chance to bury her in a dirt hole. No one would know.
>>48035758>>48035791>>48035799Gentlemen, while we must all agree to differ on the matter of who best girl is, we can also agree that every girl's smile is worth protecting (except Fairchild's)?
>>48035849dude, fairchild isn't a girl. she's a harpy that should burn in the depths of space.
>>48035849Agreed. It's fine to tease her, but help her out instead of being a dick.
>>48035849It's not so much that I dislike Karen and I appreciate what she does for the Knuckle Kaiser, But she's just not best girl
>>48035843While I'm incredibly neutral aside from a massive bias for Grapple-chan, she isn't really sabotaging anything. It only took a few minutes to get here and it's not as if you're losing out on IP because you helped a girl.
>>48035882Well, there is still Fairchild's neice, first mate who is likely female, and that green man. Also horrible people who may need a crushing...You know, it's been a while since I last seen people willing to crush female villains so thoroughly. It's nice and refreshing.
>>48035925Sentient IA for Grapple-chan when?
>>48035933I feel a little bad for Fairchild but fuck her where gonna push her shit in, we need to think up a good revenge for the First Mate though
>>48035946space blood eagle
Teasing Karen has been a pasttime of yours ever since she started working on your mecha.Your smile betrays you as you examine the width of the hole, "Your hips must be getting bigger from those meal bars.""Roarke!" She yelps, glaring and crossing her arms.You smile innocently at her and gather up some leafy sticks."Y-you idiot, don't you dare! I'll reprogram the Kaiser to play polka instead of your music and rig the switch so you can't turn it off once it's on!" She huffs."What's that? Your voice is just too tiny and squeaky to hear~" You smile sweetly, and begin putting them over the hole in the lattice.Her lower lip starts to wobble, "You're such a jerk.">[Roll another 1d10+9]
>>48035849Lets be honest, Fairchild isn't a girl, Fairchild is an ex hambeast wench molester who only cares about herself. Pic related, Fairchild before and after weight loss nanites.
Rolled 4 + 9 (1d10 + 9)>>48035975Do it for Sam Roarke
Rolled 2 + 9 (1d10 + 9)>>48035975Anyone else having massive captcha problems tonight?
>>48035933You can't hear me laughing, imagining how things would be if Clemmy hadn't fallen in love with you and how much the thread would probably hate her, but I assure you I am most mirthful at the moment.
>>48036018>Theres a universe where we didn't romance ClemmyTruly a fate worse then death
>>48036010Did you see my first post? Twenty minutes of refreshing the page and swearing at captcha.>>48035991And so your chickens have come home to roost. Give me a 1d10+13 (that's Reflexes+Athletics)
Rolled 5 + 13 (1d10 + 13)>>48036049You were saying?
Rolled 1 + 13 (1d10 + 13)>>48036049going to use 2 luck for this
>>48035933See, we're pro gender equal opportunity.
Rolled 7 + 13 (1d10 + 13)>>48036049
>>48036049This every time I try to post today
>>48035967Might be a little too magical realms but cut off her arms and legs and give her to the men
>>48036049We fall into the hole? Did we give Karen a black eye?
>>48036018>>48036046those are the universes where we just romance her later after getting stuck with her on a derelict spaceship and three days of hate sex
Rolled 6 + 13 (1d10 + 13)>>48036049>>48036097Forgot my dice
>>48036098Seen enough hentai to know where this is going.Wouldn't be in-character for Roarke, I think. We need a punishment to fit the crime.
>>48036098i think that's not cruel enough
>>48035946Simple; We play bye bye miss american pie while our machine's hand slowly squeezes her pod with the chainsaws going on. We say nothing and simply let that song play.
"I wonder, if you plant a Karenseed in the ground, does it grow into a Karentree?" You continue rearranging the sticks, completely oblivious to what's behind you. A big, stripey face almost as big as your torso bumps forcefully against your back, head lowered and over eight hundred pounds of sleek muscle propelling you forward. You fall right into the hole.Luckily, you manage to avoid twisting your ankle, and even land on your feet. Domon gazes down on you with the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in an almost doglike way. With extreme care, he begins mimicing you, starting to pull your dropped bundle of sticks across the hole. Karen stares at you, then starts giggling. You toss your hair back and try to look nonchalant, arms crossed despite the fact that you're standing in a pit in the ground."It serves you right." She comments.>[What say?]
>>48036179Perhaps, but I will preserve my dignity none the less. Square?
>>48036179>Don't worry this isn't the first time i've been stuck in a tight hole>Waggle eyebrows
>>48036179"Maybe we can use your pig tails as rope and climb out of here? Hold on, I have scissors somewhere."
>>48036154we can always use an iron maiden. fits his style quiet well.
>>48036179>"...I meant to do that.">"Right, let's get out of here before the tiger decides to bury us."
Incidentally, was there ever a proposed gift for Karen?
>>48035749>They all had the idea to have a picnic date with Roarke while he's training>We do this three more timesToo funny to not do
>>48036295An anon had an idea to buy her a robot puppy
>>48036298clemmy actualy succeds because she ties up the roarke in the middle of the night.
>>48036295I suggested a small robot puppy with a rudimentary AI that she can spend her free time toying with and upgrading into a fully-fledged killing machine when she's not working on the Kaiser a while back. Don't remember much support for it, though.
>>48036295Can we give Clementine a hamster? I think it would be adorable if she has bantz with her hamster in the cockpit as she fights. Like a Space Minsc and Boo combo. Give her something to pour her pure maiden love into.
>>48036335Why not give her a little walker mech? Like a little mini metal gear. Could even give it some missiles full of tear gas.
>>48036350I like it anon, we can get Sam a cat too shes always wanted a pussy
>>48036350> we give her a hamster> she ADORES IT> we go to do our space pirate things and she returns to her normal duties>two weeeks later we meet with her again> another smaller mecha is with her.>it's the hamster's
>>48036350Clemmy learns from Roarke the basics of mecha engineering just so she can install a "Hamster Button" in her controls. All Boo has to do is press it and the S-Flowerhorn does a programmed four beam saber flourish that finishes off opponents. Clemmy and Boo laughs and squeaks as the Flowerhorn spins at deadly velocity rending enemy steel apart. Clemmy stick out her index finger and Boo paws it as their form of high five.
>>48036377Because the point is to give her more of a harmless plaything than a killer robot. Whether she upgrades it to a killer robot on her own later on is another matter.
By the way, a small bit of context. Karen is almost Tomoko-tier unlucky and bad at expressing herself. Roarke would know this, so it's pretty fair to tell you if you hadn't grasped it already. Jeez, writing this next post I'm actually feeling kind of sorry for her. I might be developing a slight pro-Karen bias.
>>48036350Welp, time to pull out the animal rules.
>>48036457Doesn't she have high enough Empathy to know that we only do it because h̶e̶r̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶c̶u̶t̶e we love her?
"Perhaps, but at least I have my dignity. Are we square?" You smile winsomely at her.It doesn't work, she just huffs and turns her head away. "You only act nice when you want something or you're showing off for someone. I'm just poor little Karen, what does my opinion matter? I can't go back to the army or my own personal colony or my fancy palace on Mars if you get tired of me.""Just let me borrow your pigtails, I'll form a rope and-""No!""Trust me, this isn't the first time I've been stuck in a tight hole." You waggle your eyebrows."It's not my fault you got stuck." She mutters, her cheeks very red, "The lubricant was very highly recommended on the holonet." Despite her attempt at banter, she actually looks a little bit hurt, hugging her picnic basket against her chest. She may be grown up, but she's still awkward and bad at expressing herself.Domon, meanwhile, has wandered off and you hear rustling from up above, like something being dragged.Meanwhile, she turns away from you and sits in the dirt, hugging the picnic basket and not looking at you.>[What say?]
>>48036522>Give her a hug >I know I haven't spent alot of time with you recently but I promise you when I get done with my training we'll spend a whole day together doing whatever you want
>>48036522>Just hug her from behind and give the top of her head a kiss>"For what it's worth, you should know I really do love you. Don't ever think I don't, or that I'll get bored of you, or anything like that. I promise you that will never happen.">"You're just too cute when you're upset though. I'm sorry, but it's true."
>>48036522Pat her on the head. It was nice of her to come see us though and thoughtful to bring the picnic basket. We do tease, but thats because we do know her the longest relatively.Thanks for being there in any case.(while I do not see her as best girl, she does try with all her might to be useful. Can't fault her tenacity and desires.)
>>48036522>>48036457Your waifu is autistic
>>48036522>Domon, meanwhile, has wandered off and you hear rustling from up above, like something being dragged.More waifus incoming? It's Rosita this time, isn't it?
>>48036596That explains why I get her! Incredible.That also explains why you're waifu a shit
>>48036613It's Moe and Oda who came to find the legendary Master from Asia.Domon is licking Moe's hair.
>>48036639>licking Moe's hair.>reducing its fluffinessUnacceptable.
>>48036620Being similarly autistic doesn't mean you understand her. It just means you're autistic.
>>48036502Yes. Her Empathy is actually pretty bad, although she does, surprisingly, have at least decent Cool (like Caesar, but to a lesser extent and with different situations that cause her to be at her maximum Cool versus her minimum Cool). Normally she understands that you're teasing her, but sometimes the teasing goes too far and this definitely isn't the situation she had in mind when she came out here.If this was Maid RPG, I would say something about Stress Explosions here, but it isn't Maid RPG and we can all be thankful for that.Look at it from her perspective, her father really did not have much time for her and the most she ever got from him was a legacy that she literally cannot live up to, the boy she liked back when he was a no-name pirate is now famous and EVERY girl wants to be with him, and her competition consists of her best friend (who is a master at reading people and a lot better at being sexy, plus extremely competent), a celebrity who has a personal grudge against her and a massive fan-following and has made a point of outdoing her at every single turn to the point of throwing mechanics and ship-upgrades at Roarke so that what Karen does won't be special, and one of the UJCIDF's top aces who also happens to have an extremely compatible personality with Roarke. The only one she could feel remotely superior to was Fatima, and that went out the window when Fatima wasn't locked in the brig anymore and started making her look bad too. Worst of all, there's nowhere she can go, she's stuck in this situation even if she somehow got over her feelings and bailed. It wasn't intentional, but I've made things very tough for her.
I wonder who our next waifu is going to be?
>>48036723Well... when you put it that way, I kinda feel bad for her. Still not giving her the Best Girl Trophy though. It belongs to Rosita.
>>48036723Didn't we want to spend some time bonding with her over our somewhat decent Mecha Tech some time back? Did that ever end up happening? Will Kaiser 2.0 be a result of a collaboration between Roarke and Karen?
>>48036723Yeah, it's a understandable situation and one I do feel sorry about. Mind you I wanted more playful teasing, but I am willing to let her have her moment.
>>48036724Considering our Sieg Zeon origins, probably an Avalon princess seeking refuge from the other retainers of the Lady of the Woods.
>>48036787Oh boy I have the perfect kid for an elf girl
>>48036724Master Asia's daughter whom we find alive but suffering from minor amnesia. We get her memory back after fighting and she sees how similar our fighting is with her father. Together we create a child who will be the heir to the future of the Voidless Fist. One who will master the merge of Traditional HtH with Mecha HtH that we teach him.
There is still hope for wulinquest. I hope. The QM appears now and then.
>>48036723Are you trying to make Karen's suffering a selling point Wong?If you are it's working I feel bad for not best girl now
You look at her, huddled there like a cute little ball of braids and backpack. The backpack makes it difficult, but you put your arms around her and kiss the top of her head."Idiot, don't...I'm not...I'm not really happy with you right now..." She mumbles, but her cheeks are red."I know. For what it's worth, you should know that I really do love you. Don't ever think I don't, or that I'll get bored of you, or anything like that." You squeeze her a little more, and she turns herself sideways to nuzzle her cheek against your chest, "You're cute when you're upset, and sometimes I just get a little carried away. I'm sorry, but it's true."She punches your arm, you pull one of her braids.She harrumphs loudly, adjusts her glasses, then resumes cuddling into you, "It's not fair. I loved you before you were famous." She sighs a little, "...No, I'm being unfair. Rosita did too. I...I sort of overheard. Not that it matters since we're both going to starve down here, I didn't pack enough food for us to ration for long.""I could probably toss you out of the hole and you could go get help." You suggest.She smiles and tries to look offended."Seriously, we're fine. Master should be on his way back here soon, even if..." There's a loud thump, and you look up, "Even if Domon hadn't just dragged a log over and shoved one end down here for us to climb out with. Thank you, Senior Brother." You bow to the tiger, who looks smug as only felines can be."That thing is called a Domon? I thought it was a puma or a coyote or something." She blinks. "Once I'm done, I promise you, a whole day to ourselves. We can do anything you want. Anything." You smile at her.She smiles back, "No deal. I have conditions."Now it's YOUR turn to sputter, "Now hold on..."She overrules you, "First, I'm staying. I'll sleep in a tree if I have to. Do you know how hard it is to get you alone? Every time I turn around some other girl is latched onto you."[Continued]
>>48036806Scaling is hilarious. I'm pretty certain properly-optimized Human-scale units can be fully capable of taking out Mekton-scale targets reliably.
>>48036944>You bow to the tiger, who looks smug as only felines can be.As a cat owner, that is very true. Bastard smiles whenever he eats a hornet or wasp to prove how much better he is.>>48036672Moe's hair can never be unfluffed. Somehow by the end he'll get the 00 movie's ending and STILL have the fluff. If not even fluffier.
>>48034015>First Pulse StyleSo they also play Exalted during time off?>Heaven's BlessingAnd read /tg/ quests?
"Karen, I'm going to be training the whole time, you can't be distracting me. Besides, this is Master's house and..." You try to explain."...Then I'll fight him! I'll fight anyone! I'll fight your puma too!" She harrumphs, and you realize that with how limited her actual experience with live animals is that she really might not know that Domon is, in fact, a tiger, "If I have to sleep in the woods, I'll sleep in the woods. If I catch a cold sleeping in the woods, then I'll catch a cold. I'll still be happy. Second, you're going to help me work on the Knuckle Kaiser. We're going to improve everything. Everything! Shield responsiveness! Armor density! Thruster capacity! Punch pressure maximums! Everything!" She gesticulates as she talks. You pull her backpack up, sling it over your shoulder, and clamber up the log before helping her up. She lets you do most of the lifting, still talking."Besides, you're already distracted, idiot. You're angry at a lot of people and you keep making that serious face like you're pissed off but trying to be all cool and mysterious to hide it. That might work on the others, it doesn't work on me. I'm going to take care of everything that ISN'T your training so you can focus on it. Argue if you want, but you owe me." She puffs up like a smug chickadee and hugs onto your arm, "You smell like sweat and porkchops." She notes."That would make sense." You reach down and scratch Domon behind the ears. The big cat purrs, a sound like a lawnmower slowed down and deepened. The three of you make your way back to the cabin."Now. Training." You resume punching the sand. Karen sits on a bench along the wall of the house, watching you. You glance over at her, "Can I help you with something? I can't entertain you while I'm doing this."Her eyes narrow and she smiles a little, "I'm just fine."You continue punching the sand. Domon wanders off, birds fly by overhead. The wind blows through the pines. [Continued]
>>48037029I now have an urge to make a horribly-suboptimal mech with an Entangling Shock-only weapon mounted on its head.
>>48037031The QM does both. Just a few throwaway references.
>>48037178Probably because of the size bonus/penalties. Remember how we were able to crit and megacrit ships with our mechs because of the sheer size difference? Same thing. Megacrits are horrifying and if you are smart, you can probably take down a mech with ease.
Whump. Whump. Whump. Your hands are raw, and it doesn't help that they're sticky with sap from the escapades. "It must be so hot. You should take your shirt off." Jove damn it Karen. She rests her hand in her palms with a sly smile.You try to ignore her. Whump. Whump. Whump."Take your shirt off for me, Roarke~" She waggles her eyebrows and licks her lips.You try very hard not to laugh. So long as you're punching that damned sand, you're training! Hardening your skin! Becoming stronger!"Take it off reeeeeal slow~" She bites her lower lip.You are stronger than this. You can ignore her, focus on the things you want to punch. You are far too centered for worldly distractions. "Yeah, that's it. Punch the sand for me. Show me those big, strong arms of yours." She leans back, fanning herself with one hand and smirking, "Don't stop, big boy, you know how I like it. Huhuhu~">[Endure]>[Distract her by talking]
>>48037248>>[Endure]Its part of your training Roarke
>>48037248>[Senior Brother comes to the rescue again. Growls at Karen]
>>48037178By abusing systems that don't scale (such as Shock Weapons and Reflector Systems), or out-of-Scale systems.Note that out-of-scale attack mods are based off the sizes of the attacker and opponent, not their weapons; upward-scaling damage generally has the ceiling of how many spaces your weapon occupies, but nothing prevents you from applying Space Efficiency on a 1:1-scale weapon until it occupies a single Space (or 10 at 1:10 scale).Even without such chicanery, consider that a 1:10-scale 20-Kill Shock-only weapon can reliably incapacitate any pilot, and eventually kill anyone without BOD 10, as long as you can reliably score Mega-crits to bypass armor.
>>48037248>>[Endure]This is our penance. This is our karma.
>>48037301That should be a 10-Kill Shock-only weapon. If you've got enough CP to spare for 20 Kills, you can reduce any roll to 0, unless there's some way for a 1d10+BOD to roll above 20 that I can't think of right now.
You decide to rise above this challenge. Whump. Whump. Whump."So nice." She leers cheerfully, "The big bully exerting himself for my entertainment. Oh, I know EXACTLY why I'm going to be staying up late tonight~" She giggles to herself and rubs her hands together.You have the perfect response. It's those energy drinks. You know it is the absolute, ideal rebuttal...but you've committed to your silence. It is a Herculean task to hold it in, but you do, and as you watch her smug grin from the corner of your eye you realize she set that up, put that lewd-sounding comment right on a tee for you to knock it out of the park."If I was wearing underwear right now, I'd be in trouble. So sexy~" She waggles her eyebrows. She can't pull off the seductive vamp shtick, but she can uncross her legs, spread them just a little, and......Your gaze darts. What a liar. She's wearing plain, peach-colored underwear, comfortable and probably very cheap. "Caught you looking. I guess now you'll want me to stay, stay and..." She eeps suddenly as the Undefeated hops down from the rooftop and puts a hand on her shoulder. The other is holding a small, bent piece of flattened wood that he's using as a backscratcher. You're not sure where he got it or what it's for, he didn't have it when he left to take care of whatever he went to take care of."Stay and what?" He looks down at her, as serious as a Wels' main cannon batteries.She yelps, closes her legs, covers her mouth, turns bright red, and stammers incoherently, flustered beyond flusterment. Whump. Whump. Whump. Crack! A long, hairline fissure spreads up the side of the pot holding the sand before it breaks, sediment spilling everywhere. Well, there goes your excuse to keep your eyes down and train. [Continued]
"Another one, Roarke? How many women do you even have?" The Undefeated sighs, while Karen is babbling in incoherent terror, unable to even come up with a good excuse."At least four, Master. It was almost five." There's no point in being dishonest.He grunts and nods, "Did you invite her?">[She invited herself (let her deal with it)]>[It's my fault she's here (take responsibility yourself)]
>>48037520>>[It's my fault she's here (take responsibility yourself)]
>>48037520>>[It's my fault she's here (take responsibility yourself)]We'll need another pot of sand.
>>48037520Even Master is disappointed that it wasn't Red or Sam.
>>48037587I get the feeling that Red would be more of a pain with all of her minions and probably a camera Harpy flying overhead. I love her, but she loves attention.
>>48037671Really? I thought Red was going to go undercover with a sun hat, dark shades and a magic mustache to avoid her fans.I honestly would have pinned an explosion of frustration on Sam. She would lose her usual calm self as various bugs and leaves stick to her clothes and prim Victorian clothes.
>>48037744Depends what training she had to undergo in UJCIDF Officer Cadet School. It's quite possible that she's gone through infantry training and would have experienced this before, albeit quite a while back.
You bow deeply, like you've seen in the simflicks, "It's my fault she's here. I sort of owed her, so I couldn't say no strongly. I'll accept whatever the punishment is.""No it's not! I insisted! I'll sleep in the woods if I have to, but I'm not leaving him alone when he's still getting over his brother!" Your words restore Karen's spirit, she crosses her arms and glares defiantly.The Undefeated starts laughing, then ruffles her hair, "There isn't any need for that. Distractions are a part of life, so long as Roarke kept to his training I was willing to trust his judgment. Besides, you've got a good expression...and now that Roarke has someone here to take care of him, I don't have to go easy on his regimen. At least you're not Red Siren, I can trust that you'll at least listen when I tell you it isn't the time to bother him."Her eyes light up, "I can stay? Really!?"He nods, "Now, as for you, Roarke, are you ready?""I think I need more sand, Master." You're eying the broken flowerpot.He shakes his head, "That's enough for now. It's time we moved on to the next phase."The rest of your day is hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. [Continued]
>>48037773PTSD episode of Sam in her jungle training? Though it might have been super brief given the whole space setting and all.
>>48037587I can categorically say that you're wrong on both accounts. Red Siren in particular would have frustrated him to no end, partially because she's the least likely to respect it if he told her to leave.
>>48037587>Be a Karenfag>Drop the dog of the government's knot jokes because Wong made them allies>Try to support Samantha whenever possible despite a distaste for traps because she and Karen are friends>get stabbed in the back constantly because Samantha's fans are pure cancer
>>48037834Wouldn't an old man have fun even it situations like that though? That's just how every anime is. Old hermit enjoys the quarrel he has with a cheerful and rebellious youth. Feels a little sad when youth finally does leave.
>>48037860Nigga relax, people will make fun of your shit waifu but they wouldn't make Roarke break her smile in character.
>>48037804There would have been at least a few classes on infantry combat, although mostly treated as a wilderness survival sort of deal because a UJCIDF pilot would only normally be in that situation if there mech was inoperable and they had to hoof it. There definitely were classes on ground combat in a mech in a dense foliage environment such as a jungle.
>>48037913True, I guess I should count my blessings, at least my waifu isn't a husbando. Also given the talk of leaving her there I don't actually believe you.
>>48037860>>48037944Look on the bright side at least your not a Gretchenfag who never gets any screen time
>>48037913>>48037944>mfw they're best friends and there's nothing either of you can do about it>mfw Samantha would happily sabotage either Clemmy or Red Siren for the sake of Karen's happiness using her high Stealth and intelligence training
>>48037965Are there even Gretchenfags? Or at least, Gretchenfags who aren't actually Gretchenfags in the first place solely because they watched Gundam Build Fighters Try?
>>48037965Or that one faggot who likes Gundam Seed Destiny and Darth Idol. I know you exist.
>>48037992Gretchen's wants and needs are simple. She lives a happy and contented life, she doesn't particularly want more commitment than she has, and she gets along with everybody.
Hey Wong did you take any of those ideas for kids we had last thread?
Everything is agony. Your back is on fire from all of those pushups with the Undefeated sitting on you and a mat of needles on the ground beneath so that you couldn't drop and rest.Your legs feel like they're either broken or wish they were from how many times you had to kick that tree. Endless roundhouse kicks. You thought meditation was going to be a break? Too bad. You had to sit on a flat piece of wood precariously balanced atop a narrow pole over a bed of coals, so that even the slightest motion threatened to spill you into them and the rising heat left you feeling like an overcooked lobster.The ointment Karen is rubbing into your tormented skin is the only relief, wherever it touches it seems to chill the flesh, leaving it cool and somewhat less painful. The recipe is the Undefeated's own."Roarke, eat something." Karen chides. The picnic basket is climate controlled, whatever is inside should be just as warm as it was when freshly prepared."Dead men don't eat." You intone soullessly, prostrate on one of the couches in the cabin's main room. "Exactly, so eat and you won't die!" She scolds, opening the basket, "I made this myself, it's my own special recipe."You glance down at it, "Bread?" Your stomach rumbles. You'd hoped for something more substantial than just bread.She smiles mysteriously, "Not just bread. Special bread. Special Karen bread. I learned how when I was compiling that list of aces you asked me about." She looks very proud of herself, "All I had to do was post a picture of you and make the most smug, provocative comment I could about how you're completely unbeatable and ask why anyone else even tried and everyone kept falling for it!" She chortles a little. You smile and ruffle her hair. She's such a nerd."Come on. Try it." She holds up a loaf invitingly."I think someone replaced my arms with overcooked pasta." You waggle your fingers painfully.[Continued]
>>48038196>"All I had to do was post a picture of you and make the most smug, provocative comment I could about how you're completely unbeatable and ask why anyone else even tried and everyone kept falling for it!"Shit, she really DOES understand the general chan culture. No matter where you go, smug pictures and a smug comment will get you replies. Even in the future, this will be true.
>>48038222>He thinks people will fall for such easy baitSure they will summer friend
>>48038222Karen goes on the UJCIDF message boards and talks shit about how Roarke is stealing their girlfriends and nobody is strong enough to stop him.At least, she was until she encountered a force greater and more terrible than herself. Can you guess who it was?
>>48038271Fairy's Clemmy obsession
>>48038271..It's Naomi, right? I can actually see her capable of countering Karen.>>48038288No, Jesus was probably doing the UJCIDF version of "what the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch?". Empathy doesn't really work on the computer after all, and that kid has the int of a potato.
"You manage to reach my pigtails just fine." She ripostes."That's because my hands are magnetically drawn there. Your pigtails are a source of stress relief for me." You have a sudden, brief flash of Understanding for a certain UJCIDF officer who takes an unwholesome amount of joy in petting Mohammed's head."I'll take it as a compliment this time." She preens slightly, "Come here, I'll feed you." She pulls her chair close to your head, supporting the back of your skull with one small hand and lifting the bread to your lips with the other.You take a bite.You taste steak, and cheese, and something...something else. Mushrooms! Your eyes drift shut. Karen, who has never been able to cook anything in her life, has prepared a culinary Valhalla for you. Everything is alright, now. You're safe and comfy and being fed delicious food. She even has a napkin to wipe your mouth with.You smile, and she leans down to kiss your forehead, then looks down at the tiger whose nose is slowly getting closer and closer to the basket.Outside, the Undefeated has finished butchering the deer that Domon killed while you were out training, storing what he isn't using in a walk-in freezer under the cabin. Venison is tasty, but right now you wouldn't trade the meal you're getting for anything else.[Continued]
>>48038271Caesar defending Naomi. 10 Cool + 10 Cool (Naomi related Cool)
>>48038341MEEEATBREAAAAD!!!Wife her now, guys. Although frankly, I like Fatima the best, which I was NOT expecting.
>>48038307>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little whore? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Jovian Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Belt pirates, and I have over 300 confirmed neutralisations. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire IJCIDF. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the colonies and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your husbando. Hes fucking down, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can destroy his mech in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SOUL Squadron and I will use it to its full extent to wipe his miserable ass off the face of the star system, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you and yours, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.I am not very good at this.
>>48038288>>48038291>>48038292>>48038307All incorrect. Roarke doesn't get holonet culture enough to read far into the logs, but all of those individuals lose to Karen at shitposting.None of them have Cool 10 at shitposting. There is only one.>Roarke Starwind can beat Lieutenant Farragut>he has time for other women when he's joining SOUL as Lieutenant Farragut's husband>you were important enough to get a wedding inviteLaughing_Caesar.holo
>>48038436Come on, you know Jesus isn't shitposting, he legit means the stupid shit he says.
>>48038366Speaking of wife are we going to propose to the girls anytime soon? Because once we do one all the others are going to expect it
>>48038436Yass! Called it.
>>48038374>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you criminal scum? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class at the Academy, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Belt pirates, and I have over 300 confirmed neutralisations. I am trained in over-the-horizon warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire IJCIDF. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the holonet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the colonies and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your husbando. Hes fucking down, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can destroy his mech in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my primary cannon. Not only am I extensively trained in Mecha Gunnery, but I have access to the entire arsenal of SOUL and I will use it to its full extent to wipe his miserable ass off the face of the star system, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you and yours, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.Pretty good, just needed a few small tweaks.
>>48038466How mad does Jesus get when someone responds to him with, "Wait, you were serious?"
>>48038488>Not enough Linkin Park quotes2/10
>>48038466bet he falls for every trick in the book too. No bait too lame, no pepe too common. All memes are effective against him. Kind of like a pretty boy chris-chan actually.>>48038501Not as mad as when they say 'let me laugh even harder!'
>>48038501Probably close to when people make fun of his waifu
Either Karen is braver than you thought, or she really, really does not understand tigers, because she puts her palm on Domon's nose and pushes him down, "No. Bad. Sit! Stay! Good puma!""Tiger." You mumble around a mouthful of heaven."Aren't they the same thing, but one has stripes?" She inquires. She might be messing with you, she might be serious."No. Tigers are a lot bigger and by far more dangerous. He's also my Senior Brother, so I have to respect him." You explain.Domon growls. He sure sounds dangerous. Karen glares, "If it was just me, kitty, I'd give it to you, but I made these for Roarke."Domon whines and rolls over on his back."Don't feed him." The Undefeated explicitly instructs, wiping his hands off with a cloth as he walks back in, "He's on a diet, and I'm not sure all of that is good for him. He'll have venison and be content." The old man takes the armchair next to the couch, "Ah, finally, time for the news." He gets out his PC and points it at the holoscreen along the wall.[Continued]
>>48038512The 7th unexplained mystery of the UJCIDF. On certain nights When Roarke threads are live . A ghostly wail REEEEEEEEEEEEEE is heard at certain areas of the ship in front of Jesus' and Fairchild's rooms
>>48038510I should have also changed neutralizations to neutralizations in the sims, really.>>48038501Volcanic. Karen spent a few hours pretending like she was slowly coming around to his philosophy and then went "Wait, this wasn't a joke? You really meant it?"She showed Roarke the logs. Next Caesar interlude you might get to even do some shitposting yourself.
The Undefeated turns on the holoscreen, sits back in his chair, and pours himself a scotch before offering you the bottle, “Isolation is fine for the spirit, but the spirit and body both are directed by the mind, and for your mind to be clear you must be aware of what's going on in the galaxy at large.” He pauses to take a sip, “Even if most of the news is bullshit anyway. They were liars even before the War, and they been liars ever since. As long as there are journalists who can sway the minds of the people, there will be people who can afford to buy them. I'm not just talking about credits, either, everyone has a price.” He takes another, longer sip, “Except me. I have everything I want.”“What about me?” You challenge him, “Nobody can buy me, I'm too expensive.”He snorts in derision, “That's bullshit and only your ego prevents you from knowing it. Unless you've never made a compromise or done something dangerous because one of your women.""He's right." Karen notes, the traitoress.
Thinking back on Suleiman and you rushing to Samantha's rescue with only Oda for backup, you can only grunt in reply.The screen flashes on. It's just coming back from commercial, because it shows a slow three-dimensional rotation of the camera around the planet Jupiter, soaring as though viewed from a mech's sensors between the colonies that surround the gas giant like so many small moons, and turning for a perfectly-angled shot that displays the moons of Europa and Io. The violet JNN logo flashes across the screen. Karen pours a drink for each of you and feeds you yours while the theme for whichever of the many news shows you generally don't pay attention to plays, before focusing in on the desk and the large, smiling, dark-skinned man behind it. [Continued]
>>48038690ODA WAKAMOTO! What are you doing you glorious bastard!
>>48038690Even in space people are afraid to call a man black. It's not racism, it's an observation.
>>48038690Here comes the tournament announcement probably.
“Good evening, and welcome back! I am your host, Tyrone Mugal, filling in for Gretchen Colburn while she is on a verrrry special assignment." He gives a huge, sunny smile, then leans forward as if to include his audience in some grand secret, gesturing with his hands."Speaking of special, tonight we have two very special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Ensign Keith Young and Lieutenant Josiah McAllister of the UJCIDF's Special Operations, Units, and Logistics division, Squad B. They are the pilots of the fantastic experimental mecha S-Slinger and S-Slayer.” The camera pans over to a pair of men. One of them is young, young enough that you would feel justified in calling him a kid, with brown hair just shaggy enough to be fashionable and a faintly smug smile. The other...is completely different. Tall, broad-shouldered, without an ounce of spare fat on his body. His hair, also brown, is just long enough to reach past his shoulders. His face looks somehow weathered despite its faint smile lines, and even seated silently he exudes a strange charisma. He has the same stark-white uniform Clemmy wears, but he's supplemented it with a long dull black coat and a Reformed Catholic cross around his neck. [Continued]
>>48038744Dafuq. Slayer's a dude?!?
>>48038699Roarke noted Oda was black the first time they met. I think he called him "the blackest individual he knew."
>>48038744I mean, I already wanted to kill Mask, this isn't helping that at all.
>>48038744>Kirei in white uniformI find this hard to visualize.
>>48038744Time for REJOICING!
>>48038744So, in his spare time, McAllister is priest of a church?
"It's a pleasure to be here. Tell me, have we not met before?" The man, who you instinctively think of as a priest from the cross and his bearing, looks at the reporter.Tyrone pauses for a moment, "Ahhhh..." He grins and nods, "Yes, I remember now. On the moon, yes, six years ago? The Cardinal airshow?""It was quite brief, but I am pleased to see you doing well for yourself." McAllister notes. "Oh, I get by." Tyrone sounds modest. His accent is fairly thick, but you're not sure which colony he comes from, it adds a pleasant burr to his speech, "How are you? How is work?""Splendid. We are, after all, engaged in ushering in a new era of peace and justice. It is a time to rejoice, a time to live to the fullest." The corners of McAllister's mouth turn upward, but it's hard to call that a smile."I see. So, I hear that the two of you have actually faced the so-called Pirate Admiral of the Belt, the Bull of Io, the Boxer, Roarke Starwind himself, in battle recently at Griggspont colony. Can you tell us about that?"[Continued]
>>48038855Great, is Space Shirou somewhere with Space Saber?
>>48038855>inb4 he ran like a bitch dawg>inb4 Jesus interrupts and actually tells the truth>inb4 angry mask noises
>>48038609>I should have also changed neutralizations to neutralizations in the sims, really.Well he does have live raids under his belt now.
>>48038855Yay, my design is a thing now!
>>48038762>>48038784>>48038796Hold on didn't we already have REJOICING up here?Gimme a sec to check...http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/47341924/#p47342184Wong did you slip on portraits or is it really same guy?
>>48038978Honestly, the weird thing is that from what we got from the doctor, the one who killed our brother was a female. Maybe they are using the preacher as a face to hide the real first mate? Since she's a crazy bitch and possible spy?
>>48038978I haven't made a mistake on portraits yet.
>>48039002Also isn't she also some b-list pop star, who thinks herself on par with Red Siren
>>48039006Alright.>>48039002>Maybe they are using the preacher as a face to hide the real first mate?Yeah, that's what I'm figuring out of this too.
>>48039010No that's Jesus' waifu, who isn't on SOUL squadron.
>>48039010That's Darth Idol.
>>48039019>>48039027You guys sure they aren't the same person? At this point I wouldn't be surprised
>>48039010That would be Fairchild's niece, Darth Idol. Manipulative yes, but she seems the sort to be a politician, not a crusader.Really, if the guy is skilled with talking as he seems, it's a good move no matter what. If the First mate dies, then he can say he managed to survive through the skin of his teeth and remain a speaker or get a better machine.. probably ordained by the church.
The kid smiles in a way that's somehow both sympathetic and incredibly smug, "We can tell you that he used a civilian ship for cover to hide from me and fled at the first opportunity after I nearly destroyed one of his arms with precision shots. This is the second time he's resorted to cowardly and underhanded tactics to avoid facing me in battle. Like all pirates, he's all talk and believes his own propaganda...although I will admit, he's a decent pilot for someone without proper training. His fighting style requires little finesse, so it's possible for even an ape to do it."The priest chuckles and holds up his hands self-deprecatingly, "You're making me sound worthless, too.""They ganged up on you, two to one. Despite what I said, those are two of the most famous pirates in the Belt, you couldn't be blamed." Keith responds.Tyrone looks from one to the other, confused. McAllister explains, "I'm afraid I was still using the test model of my mech, intended more for reconnaissance than direct combat. Red Siren is an excellent shot, as expected, and the Black Ogre is an oddly superlative close combat machine based on early Bucephalus Heavy Industries designs. There is no shame in admitting my S-Slayer was unable to keep up, and was shot down." He bows his head, "However, that was just the test model. As our role in the galaxy changes, I have found a pure combat model more efficient, and made several changes to better suit my fighting style. I believe it was being used incorrectly before."[Continued]
>>48039064Not liking the sound of that. If I recall, the slayer that attacked the colony had a mobility mode and a bomb tail. They may go for that alongside 5k missiles.Problem is, there are no melee ways to kill missiles. Can't punch missiles out of the air or grab them.
>>48039064In order to better suit his Hidden Faggot martial arts style, he's going to do away with the melee weapons and solely spam missiles from Cloaked status via Fire Control?
>>4803911515 SP Ranged-only Enclosing Reactive Shield?
>>48039064Call Avi. Have him make a montage of our fight. One that shows Keith making a shot at us unannounced. One that shows how the "two to one" against the Slayer was actually Red and us just going to our ship. How it was actually a two verses one against us. An inexperienced sniper who heroically used an assassins technique of first shot with a sniper and a despicable scum who goads his opponents with the death of a family member. I'm sure the spaceinternet will have a blast watching that.
>>48039180So basically cause a shitpost war on the spaceinternet? God Space /pol/ must fucking awesome.
>>48039180Like a mecha pirate version of "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard". Let's destroy the UJCIDF's credibility with the masses with their constant spewing of bullshit that can be rebuked with simple analysis.
>>48039180All they would have to do is say that we're pirates and such tactics were deemed necessary to put a stop to our evil ways
>>48039220>This is the second time he's resorted to cowardly and underhanded tactics to avoid facing me in battle.Come on bruv. Keith wants to play the hero game despite using "cowardly and underhanded tactics"
>>48039220>Those orphaned babies were in league with Roarke Starwind we had to shoot them
>>48039220So you think they will admit to being total dickbags to the public? Nah, m8.>We're so good!>So why'd you fight dirty?>You're a pirate, it's okay.>So you aren't actually good, got it.They can't have that shit happen.
>>48039180>not literally calling into the studio right now and saying "Put me on the air, I'm Roarke Starwind." to call them out on their shit.
>>48039248Lets do it time to bring the banter
We're pausing here for tonight. Game resumes SATURDAY, complete with accounts of the battle.
>>48039248OH GOD YES! We can make Jesus face REEEEEEEE on live TV. How heroic will the people think of him when he literally explodes in a tantrum like a child
>>48039262Let's not. This is neither the time or place for it and it's damn obvious that it won't go through the way we want.You want to screw them over? Screw with their results. Make them have to admit there were faults and keep doing that. Make them look incompetant in their actions. When that happens, it becomes that much harder to spin. The problem with doing it NOw is that they do have things to deflect on. 'We had a shield' and 'we did not fight on even footing'. Those are facts. However, he made a fact of his own. 'The next slayer will be superior'. So! Next time, we need to destroy the slayer once more.
>>48039207>>48039180Then they have thousands of sockpuppets talking about how Avi's shit is edited and how their version is the correct one and how anyone who doesn't believe the UJCIDF story is a tinfoil retard.We aren't going to win a propaganda war against the largest military force in the system right now. We just aren't. We got away with it once. ONCE. For fuck's sake mask even expected us to do that shit this time and taunted us for thinking about it. You stupid fucks.
>>48039335Get your head out of your ass. Bad publicity is devastating to any organization that functions in any way close to the public. Not only will it plant more seeds of doubt that will bring down their credibility but it will also raise awareness for others that didn't even know about the shitstorm in space /pol/. Shit man haven't you seen how Southpark made fun of BP's apology? There's a reason why even people that don't care about the oil spill know the words "We're sorry". You don't win a propaganda war. Everyone loses in a propaganda war, it's just a matter of how much. Making fun of their contradictory words is just another way of striking a blow against their future PR and gaining sympathizers with the masses. Go fuck yourself.
>>48039420Tell me honestly, do you think any American citizens care about what avowed enemies of the American military say about them?You're not going to weasel your way into victory by calling in and going "Nuh uh dude these officers were harassing me #piratelivesmatter #staywoke". They will bury anything we say under sheer weight of money and the fact that they have credibility and we have jack shit. The only way we beat them, ever, is by punching them.
>>48039420Wong warned you about this shit IC and OOC in multiple threads. Fuck that and fuck you, we're not blowing up the popularity we gained with our CREDIBLE TV appearance by turning into the equivalent of the Ancient Aliens guy and screaming about conspiracies. It's blatantly obvious they're putting their version out there first for a reason, and their version is going to be the only one viewed as credible or even remotely accurate. We press the issue, we fuck ourselves over.
>>48039492Punching them includes not saying shit to contradict whatever they say? Silence is compliance. If we don't even put forth our evidence. Then we they don't have to invest anything to keep up their lie. They would have to pay bribe money to get an "expert", then pay more bribe money to get another meeting with the space news. THAT'S punching them. It's forcing them to bleed resources just to play damage control. In case you didn't know freedom fighters have been using shit like the media to undermine the local government for a while now. Our evidence isn't just some spacetwitter retweet. It's actual video evidence from our Kaiser. Once they call bullshit on the evidence from Kaiser how it was fabricated we upload the Sirens' video feed. How much time and money do you think making a video entails. Let alone two completely identical ones.
>>48039512You are so fucking cute anon.
Pretty sure we've already put out a vid of us shredding Slayer anyway, it's our standard background action. We do it for views of badass fights even moreso than propaganda reasons.
>>48039540>How much time and money do you think making a video entails. Let alone two completely identical ones.According to Slayer, not really very much. We had more viewpoints from Suleiman and they still pulled the "it's photoshop!" card.
>>48039552Oh shit.Roarke is D.Va.
>>48039601I don't want to fuck D.Va, though.
How about this then we schedule a report with Gretchen to promote our tournament and while were their we respond to what they said about us
>>48039540>“Keith, I'd like to take a moment to point out what this scumball is doing here. See, he's a primitive who's recently discovered advanced sensor systems. He probably dug his out of the S-Betta since pirates can't build mecha worth a damn. He's just discovered how to record comms and sensor data, and he's going to try to put this on the holonet or put a gun to that captive reporter's head and make her run a story on it. Typical. See, because he's a backwater ne'er-do-well and it worked well the last time, he's failed to realize what's different than Suleiman 1. I liked that footage, Roarke, I'll give you that much. Lots of action, fantastic views...and not much talking. It's not easy to edit shots from so many different mecha with a big, confusing battlefield and still have it pass inspection by a trained eye. The ancients used to say that one picture was worth a thousand words, and it's true. After all, It's plenty easy to modify the comms record if you know what you're doing. Or didn't the Blanchett 'girl'...” There's just enough light to see the S-Slayer making air quotes with its blunt, jointed fingers, “...tell you that while you were torturing 'her'? That's why reviews don't tend to take the comms record into account. Personally, I think the upper brass did it on purpose, I'm sure one or more of their brats like that obnoxious little shit Merrow would have caused a scandal otherwise with friendly fire mishaps or losing their cool during a mission. The only thing we have on them that looks bad is the comms record, which is easy to modify. Before, we had evidence that we didn't blow up an entire colony, now we just have tenuous evidence that they're jerks.Also, what freedom fighters? Some third-world nobodies? Terrorists? Jupiter isn't Syria.
>>48042292He has got a point. We can't rely on videos because the trick can be pulled twice UNLESS it's of something big. The green skulls exploding? That probably helped us. that skirmish? Not so much. Pushing against them when they are obviously ready will only solidify their point.We are not going to be heroes of freedom. At best we can be a dashing rouge who will take your money if you surrender. Save the hero of the solar system stuff for Caesar and focus on other ways to weaken them. A good example is simply making them look like idiots through actions. New prototype? Punish them and either destroy or steal it. Guarded position? Get past it. Diplomacy with the pope? Woo the mitre of his head with our cool. Lessen their victories and make it so we are an impossible bug for them to squash and people will start to become agitated. After all, if the money is pumping so many soldiers and so much money into, why can't they handle a simple pirate?