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  • File :1244196718.jpg-(80 KB, 400x400, 1225782303795sf7.jpg)
    80 KB Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:11 No.4775242  
    hay /tg/ i wrote this fanfic for u hope u like it ^_^


    Commissar Fuklaw was a commissar. That meant his job was to keep his men happy. but Fuklaw was himself sad becuase he knew the whole galaxy was going to shit.

    Together angry marines and imprial guard had just beaten a big ork wagh but Fuklaw didnt care. There would be other waghs. Everyone would die.

    "are u sad?", someone asked and Fuklaw turned to look. And saw her.

    She was like, totally the prettiest little thing he had ever seen and he had seen a lot. she had those awesome long perfect purple hair, one eye was red and one was blue and they looked like stars. she was a bit shorter than him and had a cool little scar over one eye and was like dressed in all pink and sparkly uniform. And big boobs. Fuklaw was like in love.

    "u shouldnt be sad when imperium wins against enemy!", she sayd and hugged him. he hugged back and wasn't sad anymore.

    "my name is Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third lol" she said. "I'm fifteen years old but i lied my age to get and serve the emperor early. I'm here with my dad."

    She pointed at one of the angry marines who waved at them. "That's my dad" she said. "My mom's in a craftworld but my dad got my custody when they divourced but she left me the heritage of her family!"

    Marianne showed fuklaw her katana. it was totally perfect and awesome weapon. "I killed about million orks with it!" she said. Fuklaw thought this was great.

    "that's pretty rad" he siad. "hey wanna fuck?"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:12 No.4775245

    And they went to his tent and took off clothes and fuklaw put his you-know-what into her throbbing pussy and they humped a while and she screamed harder and then she came.

    her orgasm was like so hard it created another astromican and emperor felt it and smiled. And tzeenth also felt it and was like "Oh fuck she's here SHES GOING TO KILL US ALL" and then he committed suicide.

    No wait actually he didnt. instead he took all the chaos and sent them to the planet where his worst enemy Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third currently was. Necrons also felt it and were like holy fuck and sent all necrons there. and tyranids too.

    how will Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third survive? Stay tuned!


    i will write more if u like lol ;-)
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:13 No.4775253
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 06/05/09(Fri)06:14 No.4775263
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    You know what? Go for it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:15 No.4775265
    Holy fuck.

    Sent all the necrons.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:16 No.4775277
    ALL the chaos? Fuck, how is Marianne Susan Dem'ntia Star's Love Lunar Darkness the Third going to get out of this one?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:17 No.4775284

    Seriously, the sheer amount of awful rockets this straight out the other side and into awesome.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:17 No.4775285
         File :1244197021.jpg-(146 KB, 1012x643, 1232254881039.jpg)
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    fuklaw is a fag

    the end
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:24 No.4775341
    thanks ill write more ^_^
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:29 No.4775382
    Commissar Fuklaw waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were heretics in the base.. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cmdr Stubbs were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    Fuklaw was a Commissar for thirty-five years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
    Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HERETICS"
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space hulk of the Imperium he knew there were heretics.
    "This is Stubbs" the vox-op crackered. "You must fight the heretics!"
    So John gotted his meltagun and blew up the wall.
    "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the cultists
    "I will shoot at him" said the champion and he fired the rocket bullets. John melta'd at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
    "No! I must kill the heretics" he shouted
    The vox-op said "No, Fuklaw. You are the heretics"

    And then Fuklaw screamed, and threw the corrupted machine from him. He forced the melta up, blasting at point-blank range the rubble that trapped him. The molten rock burned him, but it didn't matter, his path was clear - the cultists were charging now and there was no time-
    Blood. Rending of flesh, the sound of a powerfist tearing through oh-so-fragile armour and heretical bodies. The explosion of liquids when a melta beam strikes a mutant. Fuklaw embodied holy rage itself, and cleansed the taint around him. And at the last, he stood alone again; free of the carnage.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:31 No.4775398
         File :1244197863.jpg-(48 KB, 468x591, jesus111007_468x591.jpg)
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    Jesus Christ. More.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:47 No.4775512
    This... confuses me. It's like My Immortal except reading it doesn't hurt.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:51 No.4775543
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:53 No.4775554
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:54 No.4775559
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    This is awesome. Don't stop.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:28 No.4775708
    k so heres part two :-)


    okay so planet Roger VI had an ork wagh repelled by angry marines and imperial guard. and everyone was cool with it for a while. But now there was like FIVE ZILLION chaos ships on orbit. And then there were also like all tryanids and necrons in the galaxy.

    "We get signal!" the navigator guy said.

    "patch it through," said Abadon.

    It was the Dceiver or whatever his name was. He was like, "hey okay normally we would harvest u all but theres a common enemy and we could use some help, k?"

    "k" said Abaddon.

    "k" said tyranid hive breain

    then they attacked. And everyone on planet was like "shit" except angry marines who were like "FUCKING SHITKOCK THIS SUCKS EMPERORS ASS LIKE SHIT".

    but then the eldar arrived! they were led by Eldrad. "Mommy!", said Marianne susan Dem'ntia Star's love Lunar Darkness the third and hugged eldrad. She hugged back.

    An angry marine said "fuck u i wont fight with eldrad"

    And eldrad was like "we have a kommon enemy and we have to protect the kid."

    And Marianne was like "Mom! Dad! dont fight."

    But angry Marine said "Fuck this shit i cant imagine i stuck my big throbbing cock to ur cunthole u bitcvh." and then he was hit by a rock out of nowhere and eldrad said "just as planned"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:29 No.4775714
    and then tau came too! "hay guise we heard there was a big brawl can we join?" the ethereal said.

    "k" said marianne.

    And then everyone fought. necrons were fucking everyone's shit like cunts but then angry marines fucked there shit. Then more marines came! black Templars didnt want to fight with eldar but Marianne said they had to pull together so they did. Ultramarines fucked tyranids liek crazy and marneus calgar personally killed the hive brain. then Demonhunters came and started beating up chaos! Many good guys died too.

    Then emprah woke up! and he came and like killed horus. no wait Horus was already dead. Wait he wasnt. he like killed all the imperial guard before emperor killed him.

    but then Marianne Susan Dem'ntia Star's Love Lunar Darkness the Third fought a duel against deciever and abadon tagteaming and beating them up and everyone was like "Awesome!" except chaos gods who all shot themselves to the head before she could come at them.

    Peace broke out. emperor died of his wounds and Marianne Susan Dem'ntia Star's Love Lunar Darkness the Third became the new one

    the end


    should i wriet more? i dun know how cuz its a happy end but ill make up something if u liek ^_~
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:36 No.4775747
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    >This whole thread
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:38 No.4775759
    No really, this is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:44 No.4775792
    >should i wriet more?

    No. Many good fics have been ruined when the author didn't stop in time. Leave it here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)07:51 No.4775825
    It's a good ending.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)08:24 No.4776027
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)08:39 No.4776120
    No no, copypastas were always absolute shit from the beginning. But this story is genius, and should not be soiled in such a way.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)08:46 No.4776150
    Marianne Susan Dem'ntia Star's Love Lunar Darkness the Third --- What a Mary Sue.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)08:50 No.4776165
    I hate you people for labelling that term to everyone you don't like. Stop doing it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:01 No.4776215
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:03 No.4776223
    >u sad?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:04 No.4776227
    Look at that name.

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:06 No.4776235
    We made a worse Mary Sue.
    Oh god, she was bad.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:09 No.4776249
    You mean Marisu?

    Yeah Marisu was a Mary Sue. This one isn't.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:11 No.4776255
    WHo she was?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:14 No.4776265
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    ITT; Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:16 No.4776274
    I think I've contracted terminal stupidity.

    Someone hold me.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:19 No.4776289
    sex scene too short

    i demand 2000 words of detailed descriptions while i fap
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:25 No.4776318
    You spoiled youngsters! Back in my day we had two lines of badly written porn and we LIKED them!

    I managed to rip exactly one line out of Kama Sutra from the library before I was caught. It had no sex in it, but I jacked off to it countless times regardless!

    Oh, the youth of these days...
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:26 No.4776323
    A wild Horus Appears!

    Emperor used monotheistic thrust!

    Its super effective!

    Horus got hemorrhoids! He may not sit down until he sees his doctor!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:30 No.4776340
    Oh no!

    It was actually herpes!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:35 No.4776358
    Piss off, old man.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:43 No.4776382
    I'm... reasonably certain that whoever wrote this was being intentionally bad. Anyone who can't write at all ends up being... just plain boring horrible.

    But this kind of mind-boggling badness requires actual skill. I think.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)10:06 No.4776467

    I was lucky. I walked past a porno bush on the way to middle school every day.

    Good times.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)10:44 No.4776676
    I once found a ripped porn magazine from the sidewalk. It had about two pictures and a bit of text left.

    My hands were full the whole next week.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:03 No.4776746
    This is the story that coined the phrase "Mary Sue". It appeared in 1974, in the zine "the Menagerie".

    By Paula Smith
    "Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky," thought Mary Sue as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the fleet - only fifteen and a half years old." Captain Kirk came up to her.
    "Oh, Lieutenant, I love you madly. Will you come to bed with me?"
    "Captain! I am not that kind of girl!"
    "You're right, and I respect you for it. Here, take over the ship for a minute while I go get some coffee for us."
    Mr. Spock came onto the bridge. "What are you doing in the command seat, Lieutenant?"
    "The Captain told me to."
    "Flawlessly logical. I admire your mind."

    Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott beamed down with Lt. Mary Sue to Rigel XXXVII. They were attacked by green androids and thrown into prison. In a moment of weakness Lt. Mary Sue revealed to Mr. Spock that she too was half Vulcan. Recovering quickly, she sprung the lock with her hairpin and they all got away back to the ship.

    But back on board, Dr. McCoy and Lt. Mary Sue found out that the men who had beamed down were seriously stricken by the jumping cold robbies , Mary Sue less so. While the four officers languished in Sick Bay, Lt. Mary Sue ran the ship, and ran it so well she received the Nobel Peace Prize, the Vulcan Order of Gallantry and the Tralfamadorian Order of Good Guyhood.

    However the disease finally got to her and she fell fatally ill. In the Sick Bay as she breathed her last, she was surrounded by Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Scott, all weeping unashamedly at the loss of her beautiful youth and youthful beauty, intelligence, capability and all around niceness. Even to this day her birthday is a national holiday of the Enterprise.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:05 No.4776760
    >Marianne Susan
    >intentionally bad

    >> I CLUB SEALS 06/05/09(Fri)11:09 No.4776789

    Damn that's short.

    But fuck awesome.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:21 No.4776880
    Dunno, I just... had a hunch. I have them hunches sometimes.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:24 No.4776898
    Dammit OP, I think you just gave me cancer.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:47 No.4777004
    You get cancer from everywhere these days.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:50 No.4777026
    OP here. I was actually going to write a long and detailed sex scene, but decided not to bother. It'd totally have given away my cover.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:51 No.4777030
    >Commissar Fuklaw was a commissar.
    I stopped reading here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:00 No.4777078
    You missed plenty.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:23 No.4777220
    Not really, a lot of people here ar virgins, so your inability to write a convincing sex scene would have gone un noticed and hardly singled you out.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:31 No.4777264
    I think he meant about blowing away his cover that he can actually write.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:47 No.4777372
    Sez you, Op. If he was a good writer he would be able to make a bad fan fic that wasn't immediately obvious to be a gag.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:52 No.4777403
    But then you would have raged at it and called him a troll. He would have been sad.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:53 No.4777410
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:55 No.4777426
    Story fuckingsucks,
    >my name is Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third lol
    >Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third
    >Marianne Susan dem'ntia star's Love Lunar darkness the Third
    fucking inconsistent writers.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)12:58 No.4777448
    No, I'd have slapped him on the back. Once you decide to spend your time making rage and watching the masses be pathetically predictable, you stop raging yourself, you end up admiring trolls and laughing your fat ass off at sage fags.

    Once causing rage is your hobby,it's no longer your concern. This writer I feel had potential, but it just felt....hmmmm a little forced.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:05 No.4777507
    I personally haven't raged for a long time. I just bow my head in shame.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:07 No.4777516
    For all the time in our misspent youth that you DID rage?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:23 No.4777625
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    No. For trolls that don't try. For all the lazy bastards who post a furry picture or something half-assed about 4e, and watch the whole board react like an anthill that had been poked.

    And for people who genuinely fall for them, few as they are.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:34 No.4777702
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    loik dees?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:48 No.4777823
    Ah yes. I admit, trolling this board would be more satisfying if it were a challenge.

    But the shear gullibility of most fatguys makes a troll lazy after a while.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)16:01 No.4779042

    I may have lost a couple brain cells from this.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)16:29 No.4779341
    Fuck this naysaying nigger bullshit. OP is brilliant, it's the most hilarious thing I've read in a while. I mean, he included most of /tg/'s favourite own content, and ripped off my immortal, then john was a demons, and all your base.
    I tip my hat to you, sir. Well played.
    tl;dr: dis ain't trollin! DIS IS KULTURE!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)16:46 No.4779492
    So Eldrad's a woman now. Makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)17:02 No.4779586
    Okay. This is most brilliant thing I've read on /tg/ all week.
    Manly tears streaming down my face, marvelling at such greatness.
    Well done, OP. Well done.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)19:41 No.4780882
    I lolled. More than at the fanfic. Which is saying something.

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