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/tg/ - Traditional Games


TWITTER: twitter.com/planefag
ARCHIVES: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/kant-o-celle-quest-a-kantai-collection-game-transcribed-from-4chan.345865/

*“Baking?”*

“Baking,” you confirm.

Goto reclines in his chair, mouth rising into the widest, smuggest grin you've seen this side of Hate. “As they say in the vernacular, you dun got out-skilled, son.”

“Really?” you return with dripping incredulity. “Coming from the guy who literally has to dodge full-body tackles from Miss Psychostalker? Mine wants to make cupcakes.”

“Yep, she's got you-” Goto says, raising his hand to tick off fingers, “isolated, for at least an hour, in her apartment, right next to a gas oven.”

“Aaah,” you croon with enlightenment. “I thought that house on chicken feet in the parking lot was odd.”

“Just to knock you out,” Goto explains. “She asks you to check the pilot light - shoves you in, holds you there for five minutes, you wake up tied to the bed-”

“Your problems,” you muse, “are so alien to me, it's amazing. Like a man telling a fish that his knees hurt. Besides, I'd scream. Oven can't muffle it that good.”

“Harder lives one floor down,” Goto reminds you. “If they release him today, he'll be blasting Smash Mouth till nine.”

“He shuts it off at nine?”

“Just turns it down, according to Hamp. You rip into him for stowing away on the C-5 yet?”
>>
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You shake your head. “The nurses said he was pretty out of it, so I figured it could wait.” You turn to your tablet, tapping at it listlessly to give the pause something to do. “Seen-”

“I did,” Goto says quietly. He's tapping his own fingers on his tablet nervously, not even pretending to work. “If she'd been in deeper water, she never would've made it. A mile - hell, a thousand yards further from the shallows, even-” he shakes her head. “They were able to pluck her out with a crane barge - only thing with shallow enough draft in the area.” He sighs. “It could've been worse.”

“That's about the sum total of what I've heard so far,” you reply. “I wake up, they cut me out of the duct tape and it's all 'we won, they lost.' What *happened?*”

“Nareusan and Steadfast had the unholy shit shot out of them,” Goto begins, “but they're seaworthy and they should be in drydock soon. The USN has a floating dock in Singapore and they couldn't loan it fast enough. Still, I don't think we'll be seeing them again for months. The Kasturi was sunk, of course, and two Spica-M model gunboats - one in that attack run and another was too shot up; constructive loss.” He starts spinning his tablet around on the table idly, reciting from memory. “And that's pretty much it. The abyssals withdrew soon after we did - dunno where they were going, but they didn't get there, so, that's that.”

“Enemy casualties?”

“Notoriously hard to tell.” He frowns. “That battleship... we thew every last bomb and missile we had at it after you lost it.”

“... no wreck, though.”

“There wouldn't be, would there? Not much, at least,” Goto points out. “Never is.”

“... there is that,” you muse. “The rest?”
>>
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“They put down at least one heavy cruiser that we know of. Probably another, but we can't be sure. Visibility and sensors really went to hell towards the end, there - Steadfast and Nareusan were shadowed by that island and terrain, and Lekir's computers and gear aren't the newest around-”

“Lekir,” you fill in. “Last I recall, she was boarded?”

“Oh,” Goto says. “That.” He halts the spinning tablet, taps the screen briskly, and spins it 'round to face you. “Got the link on my desktop.”

You flip the tablet's sectioned cover back to prop it up for easy viewing - it seems to be a shoulder-camera style feed, similar to what the girls use. It shows you a cramped shipboard corridor, red emergency lights the only illumination. Men are creeping foreward in the dark, dark OD green uniforms barely visible in the gloom. A man near the front taps a magazine against his helmet for some reason before tucking it away again. They're creeping towards a dogged hatch at the end of the little corridor. The point man's just reaching for it when the heavy steel buckles with a horrid screech, a black point just visible through the rent. The bulge grows beneath a second blow, the better part of an obsidian-black axehead visible for a moment as the owner wrenches it loose.

“Let's rock,” the camera's owner whispers, lurching as he hefts his weapon up - the distinctive foregrip and heatshield of an original M60.

“I like to keep this handy - for close encounters,” someone ahead of him breathes, hefting a pump-action shotgun.

“You fucking nerds will be the death of me,” a tired voice says from the back just as the hatch finally yields with a screech of sundered steel, revealing the upper torso of something chitinous and awful in the gap, eyes glowing with a faint blue light. The men in the lead hit the deck as one -
>>
“HERRO!” the camera's owner bellows, and then the view is obliterated by the M-60s muzzle flash.

You set the tablet down gently and give Goto a disturbed look.

“SWAGs,” Goto explains.

“... who?”

“Filipino Navy SEALs. They were waiting around for their plane ride home after a joint training op with the Indonesians when they started scrambling everything in the harbor. Offered their services and someone made room for them, it looks like.”

“... SWAG?” you repeat. “Aren't they called NAVSOG?”

“A valiant and respectable effort,” Goto says, doffing his invisible hat and holding it over his heart. “God bless that brave bureaucratic soul who tried to put that genie back in the bottle.”

You nudge the tablet aside gently. Your own bureaucratic soul is atrophying by the day, because once upon a time you would have found that video astonishing rather than passingly remarkable. “So you're telling me, we didn't actually do heavy damage.”

“We sure gave better than we got,” Goto points out. “And blew the hell out of a bunch of troop transports - Kitakami and Ooi guessed at least fifteen to twenty, counting explosions.” He smiles, thin and savage. “Kitakami and Ooi really came through, didn't they? They stacked up those abyssals wall-to-wall in there.”

You don't dignify that with a groan. “We didn't actually hold the strait, though. If they'd pushed-”

“Yeah, just like Guadalcanal. But they *didn't,*” Goto points out. “How often have you seen, or heard of an Abyssal trying to save itself, or one of their forces disengaging because of casualties?”

You have to think about it.
>>
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“Point made,” he concludes. “You were right, Settle. They're moving to larger ops, and they can't just cheat around logistics for those. They've got to transit, they've got to resupply, and there's a limit to the punishment they're willing to take.”
That's about when the door to the conference room nearly buckles underneath a sharp blow, the noise making you both jolt in your seats. The heavy, padlocked chain securing them manages to hold, but just barely.

“TEIIIIIIIITOOOOKUUUUUUU'S TEATIIIIIME~” a familiar voice sing-songs through the door.

“H-HARUNA BROUGHT CAKES!” another chimes in.

“AND THE OTHER TWO, WHO REFUSE TO EXPRESS THEIR EXUBERANCE!” Kongou adds, followed by two feminine yelps, probably from well-applied elbows.

Goto sinks into his chair with a look of resigned dread, glancing at you for help.

You recline in your chair. “They're at the pressure door,” you say seriously.

[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.
[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] The Great SDM Escape.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.


I want to be in the tea party
>>
NAKA DAUGHERU WHEN?????
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.

Redbutton.jpg
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937

[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
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>>46358911
>blew the hell out of a bunch of troop transports
fuckin typical

>>46358937
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
we need to prepare a litany of excuses for letting memex go camwhoring
>>
>>46358937
>party.
>>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.

Yah, he deserves it.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

[Find a crane/scaffolding-rigged factory or warehouse big enough to fit a 3,500 ton Cruiser]
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
>Time to be productive, AAR!

Damn paperwork. It'll be the death of the military yet.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

Figure out how to get our damaged chuuniboats repaired by weird shipslut hull summoning magic.
>>
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do].

Check on Bat Lead. Because why the fuck not?

Or on more serious matters, Essex. Or Tatsuta.

We have a lot of shit to do, and unfortunately, my plans to make Bat Lead into an Ace Combat Super Ace (with MAGIC) have to be left on the side for now.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Wat do
Can we see about chewing up a carrier today?
>>
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>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
Let's go and do a check up on those new arrivals of ours.
>>
>>46358937

[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

Have we slapped Essex silly yet?
At least give her the "this happened after the war" talk. Getting her to use an indoor voice is optional (and probably hopeless)
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

Getting Crab to take Yuudachi out the drydock we we can use it to fix tasuta
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

[Meet Houston & ' Straya cunt]
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.

I'm rather curious as to what the hell was that first conversation.
>>
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Not to suggest we need to do it now, but how's Shigure doing? Is Goto still being overprotective over her?
>>
Hey Hamp, how's it feel to be an older brother?
>>
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>>46358888
>“I like to keep this handy - for close encounters,”
GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER
>>
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>the tatsuta autists out again
Somebody please free me from this torrent of stupidity.
>>
>>46359082

That's a lot to do. Most of it has to be worked on /with/ Goto. It's been forever since he and Settle collaborated on anything productive, and ditching him here will only mean it's going to be even longer before they work together.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
>>
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358937
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

>LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
>1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
>2. AAR for the strait fight
>3. Debrief Essex
>4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
>5. Deal with Naka's issue
>6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
>7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358888
>flip SWAG
>best commandos the flip Navy has
>literally Alien memes
Somehow this is worse
>>
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46359162
>stupidity
Says the guy posting mongolian fingerpainting reaction images
>>
>6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.

Yeah, because the last times we've elected to speak with Shigure turned out so well. Leave this to Goto.
>>
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I'm curious about Naka but that can wait...

>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358832
Quick question.

Between the two of them (a Warship and an Admiral), does anyone actually know/have experience with baking cupcakes (and other sugary confections)?

... At least one of them, right?

Right?
>>
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I went to USS New Jersey last week, and I bought quite possibly the best Hawaiian shirt I've ever seen.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
meet Houston and Perth
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
>LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
>1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
>2. AAR for the strait fight
>3. Debrief Essex, Houston, and Perth
>4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
>5. Fill in the above on the modern world
>6. Deal with Naka's issue
>7. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
>8. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46359162
Fuck off weeaboo. Go back to /a/ where you belong.
>>
>>46359202
Well, Arizona had a cooking staff on board.
>>
>>46358937
[o] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
Oh yeah, fuck. Forgot to put meeting Houston and Perth properly in the vote.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei

ITS TIME FOR TEATIME WITH SETTLE. also I want to talk to the other Kongou grills
>>
>>46359202
Settle's what... in his 50s? There is just about no way he hasn't baked cupcakes before. Also the internet is a wonderful thing full of many good recipes.
>>
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>>46359196
>>46359237
>complaining about anime reaction images
>on 4chan
Now you've just given me a reason.
>>
>>46358937
>Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Check up on Naka. Goto really deserves an explanation
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46359207
pretty sure fap angel has one with planes on it.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei

IDS HABBENING
>>
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46359285
>hurr this entire site belongs to weeaboos

Look at where you fucking are. Does this look like an anime related topic to you?
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

Congratulate Harder on finally getting some.
>>
[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!

Essex and Yamato
>>
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>>46359324
Well, it is based on a Japanese game, that has an anime.
>>
>>46359207
Where's the standard-types on this thing

>>46359261
You think they're with Essex now?
>>
>>46358937
>Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
Tea with all four kongou sisters sounds comfy af
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.

Like >>46359172 says, there's a lot we need to do *with* Goto. Let's help him out so we can then get to more important stuff.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
> Debrief Houston and Perth and meet them properly. Because screw Essex.
>>
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>>46358992
Christ, no one ever asks Iku why she isn't squirting out spawnlets.
>>
>>46359324
>KANT-O-CELLE QUEST
You tell me, shitlord
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
>>
>>46359336
We should tell him to put a ring on that claw.
>>
>>46359242
Having a cooking staff does not ensure competence in the kitchen!

>>46359284
... Colonel, are you supposed to have confidence in the skills and ability of a Navy Officer?

Or am I just overestimating the rivalry between Navy and Army?
>>
>>46359284
Late 30s actually
>>
Fuck it, why not just debrief all 3 at once?
>>
>>46359378
IN BED
>>
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>>46359207
>>
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>>46359363
Because her love isn't as pure as yours and Harder's.
>>
>>46358937
[x]Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
Debrief everyone but Essex. Let her have her damn webshow for now. She'd be too much trouble to deal with normally at this point.
>>
>>46359357
>there's a lot we need to do *with* Goto
Yaoi, right?
>>
>>46359363
Sperm immunity?
Who knows, maybe it's different when it's shipboy on shipgirl, instead of lewd submarine on unsuspecting navy ensign.
>>
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
>>46359363
Iku's an habitual bicycle.
You, on the other hand, just went the lewdest route.
Missionary position in the dark and holding hands while procreating
>>
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46358937
>[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.
>>
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>>46359399
Admiral's bed in Big J.
>>
>>46359363
Because, interestingly enough, 4chan is still very traditional in mindset.

Must be all the High Fantasy/Medieval settings.

Also.

>>46359419
>>46359353
A single word can set off the avalanche.

Of Ace Combat.
>>
>>46359363
They *should* be.

And if the reason is that prophylactic drugs work on shipgirls, well, there's going to be *questions*.
>>
>>46359207
Daaaaamn!

That's beautiful.
If it had Elvis it would be perfect.
>>
>>46359374
It's less faith in a navy officer and more faith in somebody in their 50s or 60s.
>>
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>AND THEN THEY DID NOT FUCK
Pffffft.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>
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>>46359451
>A single word can set off the avalanche.
>Of Ace Combat.
Whatever do you mean buddy
>>
>>46359049

Kek. Despite the reference I... am not sure I understand the image
>>
>>46359376
... wait what? HOW?!
>>
>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.

>>46359399
Big J's a good ship.
>>
>>46359467
He's in his 30s, Colonel.

Not enough time to ensure competence in baking. Or cooking for that matter.

>>46359500
BATTLEFIELD PROMOTIONS.

Hell of a drug, I'm told.
>>
Awww, Ari want to bake cupcakes?
>>
>>46359500
Some sort of weird bullshit in the bureaucratic process, despite the fact that the youngest American Naval Admiral ever was 45.
>>
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!

I WANNA MEET ESSEX AND SHOW HER HOW COOL GOTO IS.

OUT OF THE FRYING PAN, INTO THE FIRE.
>>
>>46359499
A common problem in main game KanColle is that Ooi/KTKM will waste their opening torpedo salvo aiming at the same target, usually the weakest destroyer.
>>
>>46359499
KanColle has RNG targeting
>>
>>46359500
>>46359522
"Heroism" and wartime promotional hijinks.
>>
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So when's the meeting for our webcam-related ass-chewing scheduled aerofag?
>>
>>46359324
>Does this look like an anime related topic to you?
yes?
>>46359499
They launched all their torpedoes at the same target. The least important target.

Their 'admiral' is not amused
>>
>>46359522
Let's not forget he was a Captain before the whole Abyssal thing
>>
>>46359554
Never because it was an event that was meant to be cathartic.
>>
>>46359500
Reasons.

PF is worried we wouldn't be able to connect to an older character, but still wanted the PC to be an admiral
>>
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>>46359514
I... I... I... PLANEFAG!
>>
>>46359518
I foresee a great and terrible fire.

And lost cupcakes. In the fire.

>>46359489
That my plan, to make Bat Lead into an Ace Combat protagonist/Super Ace, is now in motion!

We just need to keep up the Ace Combat references.
>>
>>46359550
No amount of heroism should be able to get you promoted like that. You need to be appointed by Congress and have served for a fixed period of time prior. Something like that happened for the guy who was 45, and he was a seabee (nothing against them, just saying)
>>
>>46359522
He was a Captain on the Higgins and was in the running for a future flag rank posting, LA kind of accelerated that process.
>>
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Was that a CoD reference? In my shipslut quest?
>>
>>46359499
KTKM and Ooi will almost always target the least important enemy with their ridiculously powerful torpedo attacks, much to the despair of Kancolle players. Put them both in a fleet, and chances are they'll target the same ship for even more pointless overkill.
>>
>>46359500
War Hero, LA, battlefield rank-up
>>
>>46359588
>Super Ace

So Frank "American Kira Yamato" Bishop?
>>
>>46359568
Hence why I thought he was probably around my age, because you don't make O-6 young, regardless of branch.
>>
>>46359585
Now you're just giving him what he wants.
>>
>>46359596
The youngest Admiral in US Naval history was 45. Settle is in his mid 30's. Is anyone else seeing the problem? Hell, my brother got out of the Navy when he was 28 and he was a Lieutenant.
>>
>>46359588
>I foresee a great and terrible fire.
I don't think they're cooking those cupcakes in her magazine, anon. The japs tried that once and it was awful.
>>
>>46359599
ALIENS, MOTHERFUCKER, HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!

>>46359608
His name was actually William Bishop in Assault Horizon.

So he was probably Canadian instead.

>>46359614
The Cupcakes are doomed.
>>
>>46359555

GOTTA LOVE THAT ARR EN GEE EH GUYS
>>
>>46359599
An Alien reference, actually. Gaz just happened to know the film as well.

>>46359608
>>46359588
Did you know, there are three kinds of Marines?
Those who are grunts.
Those are POGs.
And those who are in the Wing.
Those are the three.
And him?
>>
>>46359636
You're horrible. That joke's terrible.

It still made me laugh.
>>
>>46359642
.....I was referring to SW89's protagonist
>>
>>46359629
Was your brother attacked by lewd abyssals?

Checkmate, atheists.
>>
>>46359284
>>46359376
>>46359500
>>46359514
>>46359585

46359568

>Group of Admirals in meeting
>"Who's going to be our go to guy on this Abyssal/Kanmasu thing."
>simultanious chorus of "Not it!"
>"Well somebody flag ranked has to be."
>"What about that Settle fellow. He's got experience with them and his ship is out of commision?"

Meanwhile at Settle house
>Ding! You've got mail!
>>
>>46359621
... God damn it you're right.
>>
>>46359629

He's pushing 40. He's in his late 30s, and up until the recent troubles, he was an obscure captain of a low priority vessel. There isn't a problem with a few years getting shaved off in light of his unique experience and value as a test and PR case. Particularly considering that up until a few days before getting sent to Yokosuka, he was commanding just 2 destroyers kanmusus and a carrier.
>>
>>46359663
This was last year, so no.
>>
>>46359629
Late 30s. Very late 30s.

Also, stupid shit happens in wartime.

Back in WW2 people regularly jumped two, three ranks or more over the course of the 6-year war.
>>
>You will never be dragged down to the bottom of the sea and forced to impregnate lewd abyssals to produce more soldiers for their war on mankind
>>
>>46359500
War hero, his ship was too damaged in combat to be repaired, and thus a war hero and competent captain was without a ship in a time of war.

Was saddled with several shipgirls, and no one else had the time (or sanity) for that shit. So, if in charge of several ship(girl)s, no replacement ships available, in a time of war, and the PR potential...make him a Rear Admiral.

The USN also wanted to send their shipgirls to Yokosuka, since the shipgirls wanted to fight, the USN was wary of shipgirls, and Japan needed the help. Pair the USN's foremost expert on Abyssals with the USN's shipgirls, and, well...
>>
>>46359658
>>46359642
Now I feel silly. Happens when you don't usually watch movies in english.
>>
>>46359599
>Not having seen Aliens

I'mdissapoint.jpg
>>
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>>46359642
>not knowing SW89
>>
>>46359690
Not that level of stupid shit. That guy who made flag at 45 was jumped up as well.
>>
>>46359585

Mid to late thirties, leaning late. Heavily. And, though I've never said it, in my head he got command of the Higgins largely because the usual promotion pipeline had been thinned out a bit by new construction in the last few years. Thinned out quite a bit, in fact. Somewhat related to Higgins sailing for Japan with LSRAMs and a note that said "fuck cruising speed, money is no object."

It starts with C and rhymes with - er. China. China is the reason. Just jump right to that.
>>
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>>46359648
kancolle is pretty much a pachinko machine
you put money in and balls drop randomly
>>
>>46359599
>>46359642
>>46359703
See Alien, then Aliens. Then stop watching.
Classic scifi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEs8j4_hrUY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49OZ0M_0fhg
>>
>>46359629
Settle is a genius geek though. Heard it mentioned he wrote papers on networked warfare. He also has connections like his Holy Nation. Maybe he just rose up the ranks cause he was really promising officer?
>>
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>>46359710
It's not really worth knowing anon. I say that as someone who read it.
>>
>>46359723
Ah the wartime promotions that "aren't wartime promotions" I get it now. Still damn young, but you know what. FUCK IT! I don't care! I'm just here for my free entertainment and watching you're balls retract back into your body whenever my boss drops in.
>>
>>46359751
http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/officer/communitymanagers/ldo_cwo/Pages/Promotions.aspx
>>
>>46359419
Lewd? Me?

Here's some lewd for you. I wrote it with her ages ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6OTOaCK8c4

HACHI
Gosh it bothers me to see you, Iku,
Covering your lady lumps.
Ev'ry ship here'd love to bed you, Iku,
Especially given your rump!
There's no girl on base as ogled as you,
You're ev'ryone's favorite lay!
Ev'ryone's lewd and perspires by you,
And they get very hard, (or go gay!)

No one licks like Iku,
No one schlicks like Iku,
No one deals with dumb verbal tics like Iku!
For there's no ship on base half as comely,
Busty, a big girl (for you)!
You can ask any boat, ship or steamer,
And they'll tell you whose lap they'd prefer to be on!

HACHI AND CHORUS
No one fucks like Iku,
No one bucks like Iku!

HACHI
No one's written pornfic to show cucks like Iku!

IKU
As a romantic, I like intimate dating--

HACHI AND CHORUS
My what a gal, that Iku!
Give five more loads! And pump those hips!

HACHI
Iku's at her best
When you can see her nips!

CHORUS
No one blows like Iku,
Can get low like Iku

HACHI
No one can do that one thing with her toes like Iku!

CONQUESTS
For there's no one as curvy or busty!

IKU
As you see I've got dat ass to squeeze.

HACHI
Not a bit of her's saggy or boney!

IKU
I can
Take ev'ry last inch of you down on my knees!
>>
>>46359751
Or the perceived correct skillset for a particular theater.
>>
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]

LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!

1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>
>>46359751
>really promising officer
>letting us control them

choose one
>>
>>46359661
>>46359710
All part of the plan. For more Ace Combat references!

And yeah, I tried to follow SW89, didn't click with me.

>>46359746
I have the Alien-Predator boxset.

I have only watched the original two of each series. There is nothing else.
>>
>>46359636
Hahahahahaha

I wonder if Mutsu likes cupcakes, or if she triggers upon seeing them instead.
>>
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>>46359436
I hate this gift shop name.
>>
>>46359751

This, too. Sure didn't hurt. But note that's just one of the factors that contributed to him getting a very old Flight I ship several years "ahead of time." The big sticking point is, there's usually more qualified commanders than there are ships, lots, and you just have to wait your turn.
>>
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>>46359785
CHORUS
No one spreads like Iku,
Gives you head like Iku!

HACHI
No one else can be thoroughly bred like Iku!

IKU
I'm also quite good at ejaculating!

NAKA
Ew.

CHORUS
Ten yards for Iku!

IKU
When I was sub,
I shot four dozen torps,
Ev'ry battle for the Emperor!
And now that I'm girl,
I've laid five dozen twerps,
So I've truly the thighs of a whore!

CHORUS
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a gal, that Iku!
No one tongues like Iku,
No one hums like Iku!

HACHI
No one shakes out light cruiser hairbuns like Iku!

IKU
I use rotors in all of my masturbating!

CHORUS
My what a gal--

IKU
I-KUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~!
>>
>>46359807
Quite rightly, sir.
>>
>>46359785
Why don't you take a seat over there.
>>
>>46359814
Why did I laugh.
>>
>>46359828
>>46359785
Is that going to be on the deluxe album?
>>
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>>46359774
He's the american Yang Wenli, but with stress issues instead of raging alcoholism.
>>
>>46359785
...how many bottle of rum were involved in coming up with that song?
>>
>>46359828
OBJECTION!

You are NOT a burly Frenchman!
>>
VOTES CALLED

You are all so eager to go rushing into the waiting arms of bad news, it's adorable.
>>
>>46359843
No, it's obviously available only at Comiket.
Or on J-List.
>>
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>>46359785
>>46359828
An instant classic.
>>
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>>46359828
>>46359785
>>
>>46359860

The sooner it's done the better it will be.

The more you try to duck a fucking pissed off officer, the worse it'll be later.
>>
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>>46359814
>>
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>>46359848
It was less the number and more the number of uses we got out of them that night.
>>
>>46359860
It's like ripping off a band-aid on a hairy, sensitive part.
>>
>>46359860
BAD NEWS! MY FAVOURITE!

Because they don't hide all the shit that's really going on!
>>
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>>46359860
>>
>>46359860
You wound me, PF.
I know it's hell we're walking into.
>>
You know, I'm surprised that Settle getting into romantic entanglements with girls who look half his age isn't coming off as creepy as it is.
>>
>>46359860
>implying you won't have something happen to disrupt things
>>
Relevant to this thread : http://g.e-hentai.org/?f_doujinshi=0&f_manga=0&f_artistcg=0&f_gamecg=0&f_western=0&f_non-h=1&f_imageset=0&f_cosplay=0&f_asianporn=0&f_misc=0&f_search=kantai+tenryu+einsatz+-chinese&f_apply=Apply+Filter
Tenryu explaining to her DDs how boat works. Only in moonrunes, unfortunately, but hilarious nonetheless
>>
>>46359912
>look half his age

Most of the ships in his harem are obsolete by decades. Especially Arizona, the definition of old and busted.
>>
>>46359912
Half the reason for that is said girls are twice his age.
>>
But who are the two other girls with them?
>>
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>>46359887
>more the number of uses
HAHA TIME TO USE THOSE TECHNIQUES ON THE MANLET
ASSERT DOMINANCE
BECOME THE DOM, NAKA
>>
>>46359912
Well if you want to be technical about it, she's either a few weeks old or over a Hundred.

It's honestly safer to not think about it.
>>
>>46359912
It totally fucking is.

HOPE RIDES ALONE.

>>46359944
Go home, Dision. You're malfunctioning again.
>>
>>46359912
>You know, I'm surprised that Settle getting into romantic entanglements with girls who look half his age isn't coming off as creepy as it is.

That comes in right underneath "literally fucking a WAR GRAVE" for Settle, in fact...
>>
To solve the Rank issue the Navy recognizing his heroics and needing someone to command the Shipgirls Brevet Ranked him Rear Admiral.
His official rank is still Captain but shipgirls according to the Japanese respond best to admirals is how I saw it.
>>
>>46359944
>Harder: "NO NOT THERE, MY HULL IS WEAK IN THAT SPOT"
>Naka: "What's wrong? Can't take the pressure at this depth?"
>Harder: "YOU'LL SET OFF MY BALLAST!"
>>
>>46359944
>>46359977
You guys remember when you were telling me Harder might be into the mind control singing thing?
>>
>>46359936
USS Arizona: commisioned 17 October 1916.
IJN Shoukaku: commisioned 8 August 1941.
USS Northampton (because why not, he got to first base with him): commisioned 17 May 1930.
>>
>>46359912
Literally.
That and both Arizona and Shoukaku look adult enough.
>>
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Every thread.
>>
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>>46359999
>>
>>46359999
And this is a problem?
Strongest quads say otherwise.
>>
>>46359977

something something "blow all tanks" something "crash dive" something something "run silent, run deep"
>>
>>46360005
Of those 4 only Hibiki is legal.
>>
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>>46359999
Yep.

Go for it, Naka. Your quads show the righteousness of that decision.
>>
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>>46359999
>>
>>46360020
This is why you don't put Missiles codenamed "Shipwreck" on boats.
>>
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>>46360000
If Settle is 38 or so, that means he was born in 1980. Arizona is old enough to be his grandmother, Shoukaku old enough to be his mother, and Hamp is old enough to either be an old father or a young grandfather.
>>
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It may not be Yelling Bird, but Settle and Arizona baking cupcakes together is way too fucking adorable.
>>46359960
What's third on the totem pole of nope?
>>
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>>46360005
All of them are too busty in that pic.
Definitely need to be flatter.
>>
>>46360063
AND THEN THEY DOCKED
>>
>>46360045
Dat Fire Control System
>>
>>46360048
So this is Cougar Waifu quest not Loli Waifu quest.

Welp, I have a new fetish.
>>
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>>46360014
>>
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>>46359999
>>
>>46359999
Well, it does making the whole thing easier. After all, if you mind control him, he doesn't have to worry about screwing up in bed.
>>
>>46359999
I don't like where this is going.

Mostly due to my absolute loyalty to free will and self-determination.
>>
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>>46359999
>>
If you only count years active, she's closer to 26.
>>
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>Harder: "Naka, I don't really know if I'm ready to submit my free will over to you yet..."
>Naka: "Don't worry, your consent won't be necessary in a few minutes."
>>
>>46359785
>>46359828

It was musical hour the last two days in the writefag channel.
Help me I keep wanting to do more. Derailing MaidRPG with musical numbers is too much fun.

ESSEX:
I am the very model of a perfect aircraft carrier,
I've information rhetorical, clerical, and nautical,
I know the presidents and Teddy was the most majestical
From Washington to Obama, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
Colbert here does algebra abstract and theoretical,
Real analysis and calculus, he studied it in Syracuse
And derives taylor series while he helps my accountant who is a jew

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know my naval history, how am I so magnanimous?
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS HISTORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>
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>>46359860
MIGHT AS WELL TAKE THE BAD NEWS FIRST
>>
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>>46360045
>>
I just realised something, reading the latest shimakaze'd part again.
>"Thanks, Yamato," Shimakaze nodded, turning back to her engine. "The problem is, this is really just proof-of-concept. The real problem is getting a working version inside me, or really any one of us and that's..."

Something tells me this may be foreshadowing for Tatsuta's problem.
>>
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>>46360014
>>46360085
>>
>>46360141
ESSEX:
I know spooky history, like of my haunted bestie Salem;
I can recite As You Like it and Othello verbatim;
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Admiral Settle,
And list the compounds created by all the alkaloid metals;
I can do a perfect triple axel and pirouette en arabesque.
I don't know what I just said; Je ne parle pas français anyway!
Then I can fence so well the French stare in rage and jealousy,
And snack on gourmet crème brûlée, while I reposte breathlessly!

I look stunning as a maid or any outfit in all likelihood,
I'm so splendiferous, it's as if I were straight from Hollywood.
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS RHETORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>
>>46360141
>Modern Major General
It fits Essex a little too much.
>>
>>46360084
As for the destroyer lolis (not that it justifies it, because not only do they look like kids, they have the mentality of kids):
Hibiki: commisioned 31 March 1933 (Happy birthday)
Akatsuki: Commisioned 30 November 1932
Ikazuchi: Commisioned 15 August 1932
Inazuma: Commisioned 15 November 1932.
>>
>>46360141
>Colbert
Who?
>>
the sooner we know the sooner we can deal with it.
>>
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Well, I can definitely say that I want to see Iku and Settle interact more.
Iku is pretty smart and contemplative, maybe she can help Settle find the answers to his problems?
>>
>>46360160
>>46360141

In fact! I am the bestest and awesome sister to Willie D.
We built the greatest pillow fort while Settle was in therapy
Those otaku who creeped on Hornet, I studied their unjust ways;
Now I'll defeat them with my superior taste in annie-mays!
"People die when they are killed", I know is a tautology,
Because I am perfect, and I know it, which follows accordingly;
In short, I have a smattering of strategy in many things,
I'm THE SMARTEST and THE STRONGEST carrier in history!

For my Corsairs and my Hellcats were waiting for a century
To hunt my quarry and reclaim my glory against the enemy
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS RHETORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>
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>>46359999
The trick to safe and fun mind control in the bedroom is to not control the mind at all. Just stick with the body, purely physical affects and reactions. That way, their mind does all the heavy lifting of getting into things without breaching it at all!
Bonus points if you can goad him into saying his hips are moving on their own.
>>
>>46360166
Of the destroyer loli's Hibiki was finally scrapped in the 70's.
She is over 50 years old in life experience her sisters not so much.
>>
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>46360188
So in other words, we don't need to debrief Essex because she accomplished a lot of things while we weren't paying attention.
>>
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>>46360188
>We built the greatest pillow fort while Settle was in therapy
That's just asking for it.

And I approve heartily
>>
>>46360211
Er, you're thinking of Yukikaze. Hibiki was sunk in 1953.
>>
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>>46360192
LISTEN TO THIS MAN
>>
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>>46360166
It's Hibiki's birthday? Everybody post Echo!
>>
>>46360243
Yup. Happy 83rd birthday Verniyy
>>
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>>46360176
what the fuck am I looking at?
>>46360211
She was expended in a target exercise, not scrapped.
>>
>>46360063
Happy Ari is too cute to live.
>>
>>46360243
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyqr0NRGOr8


>>46360192
This man speaks gospel.
>>
>>46360166
It is birthday of Soviet destroyer in Japanese naval yards.

Not birthday of Soviet destroyer in Soviet Navy.
>>
>>46360176

If by that you mean "Fuck him till he can't fucking walk" then probably, yes, she can fucking help.
>>
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>>46360243
>>
>>46360276
... That phrasing implies things.
>>
>>46360238
nope she was decommissioned put into mothballs then sunk as a target vessel in the 70's
So yes Hibiki is in her 50's mentally
>>
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>People evading a Kongou Sisters Tea Party(tm)

That's just sick and wrong. Will nobody thing of Haruna?
>>
>>46360273
>what the fuck am I looking at?
water coming out of a dam
>>
>>46360282
Have you been accosted by a submarine lately, Lt.?
>>
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>46360188
>>46360221
When is that writeup happening? I want an explanation for all of this.
>>
>>46360282
And another person comes to realize that Iku is the solution to many fucking problems, literally.
>>
>>46360282
"Until he can't fucking walk" is a pretty low bar when it comes to Settle
>>
>>46360335
>implying that he doesn't hang out with sammy and yams for a reason
>>
>>46360331
Haruna will be finneeeeeee
>>
how the fuck do you pronounce this
>Bepный
>>
>>46360282
that too, she'd be a great partner for "stress relief" as it's not likely she'd have any strings.
>>
>>46360362
Verniy
>>
>>46360363
Don't be silly anon. Side ties have strings by definition.
>>
>>46359785

Catchy tune...

...No one needs as much penicillin as Iku!

*ssssip*

Though, honestly that Gaston guy from the original must've been an awesome hero for that movie...
>>
>>46360331
Haruna will be okay, she has her sisters nearby.
>>46360333
Pressure relief system?
>>
>>46360362
Benis
>>
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>>46360391
What, exactly, do you think she has to tie under that swimsuit?
>>
>>46360394
Hamp, do you listen to grunge?
>>
>>46360362
It translates into English as Faithful
>>
>>46359648
The entire game is about beating the RNG to submission.
>>
>>46360394
>honestly that Gaston guy from the original must've been an awesome hero for that movie
Hamp, stop. You know not what you're talking about.
>>
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>>46360362
>>
>>46360331
Autism and a mistaken belief that rushing into it would lessen things... Now we'll be in for 20 threads about this.
>>
>>46360384
The fuck do you get Verniy out of Bephubn or Beppy or whatever the fuck that is
>>
>>46360362
>>Bepный
"Verniy"
"Ver" sounds like the "Vir" in "virgin".
"Niy" sounds like "knee"
>>
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>>46360347
>>46360221
>>46360188
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>
>>46360410
Tubes.
>>
>>46360394
Nah, Gaston was a villain. But then, Disney movies tend to have a habit of giving their bad guys the most pompous, overacted songs to show their ego.
>>
>>46360410
her F tubes.
>>
>>46360397
>Pressure relief system?
It's most likely a flood relief valve, but they are essentially the same thing. (it's also a good metaphor for Iku
>>
>>46360445
Yes, what do you want?
>>
“... right,” you say quietly. Rising from your seat, you grunt with pain as you lever your bum leg up onto the table, then awkwardly clamber atop it. Lifting your cane, you reach up and lift one of the white tiles of the drop-style ceiling.

You look down at Goto, who's staring at you with consternation. “Under the desk.” He squints at you, but the sound of steel links cracking makes up his mind, sending him scuttling for cover. You turn and compose yourself just as the double doors of the conference room burst open to reveal the Kongou quartet, armed to the teeth with a tea cart, tablecloth and baskets of cookies.

“YOUR CHAINS CANNOT REPEL DESS OF THIS MAGNITUDE!” Kongou crows.

“... someone really needs to monitor your internet usage,” you intone levelly.

Haruna and Hiei visibly deflate, but Kongou, unsurprisingly, is undaunted. “WHERE THE DESS IS MY TEITOKU, YANKEETOKU?”

Ever so slowly, you raise your finger to point at the displaced ceiling tile.

Kongou stares, blinking, as Kirishima pushes her glasses up her nose and glares at you. “That's just flimsy cardboard-like stuff,” she points out. “He can't be up there!”

“You're right,” you say, nodding. “He's not strong enough to cling to the pipes and such, upside down, like a ninja.”

“Of course he's n-” Kirishima's voice cuts off as Kongou's head whips around like a cobra - you can't see her expression, but judging from the reflection in her sister's visages, it was effective. She turns back slowly, her face once more cheerful and angelic when you see it next. “How did he get up there, Yankeetoku?”

“Asked me to give him a boost, and then whoop~” you intone. “Up he goes!”

Behind Kongou and Kirishima, Haruna and Hiei are leaning over, peering under the table. They nod surreptitiously, then straighten up. “Kongou,” Hiei begins. “He's probably in the ductwork!”
>>
>>46360450
Cyrillic lettering, which doesn't pronounce even remotely the same as similar-looking Roman letters.
>>
>>46360354

Iku is the one you go to when you need a fast stress relief lay. She's amazing in the fucking sack, or so I hear, and not bad on the eyes.

>>46360355

Fucking Truth.

>>46360363

At least none you'd fucking see. But, look, I have a long and fucking storied career there, and every bitch in forever's got strings. Ain't no such thing as a bitch without luggage, know what I fucking mean?
>>
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“Don't you meme me!” Kongou retorts, huffing and crossing her arms. “I read that whole website! Ducts are for SNAKES. Are you calling my Goto-san a SNAKE!?”

Kirishima pushes her glasses up again. “Kongou, why do you insist on using Japanese honorifics when you're speaking Japanese-”

“Why are we speaking English at all!?” Kongou retorts.

Kirishima blinks. “Uh, because... uh.”

“Uh... they're like tunnels! Just in the ceiling,” Haruna offers. “Our soldiers hid in-”

Kongou's nose rises so high that for a second her hereditary Brit shines through like a beacon. “ARMY,” she says, voice dripping with disdain.

“Vasquez?” you offer.

“... who the dess?” Kongou says, nonplussed.

“Bruce Willis!” you try. “Die Hard. He climbed up a big tower-”

“Make a King Kongou joke,” Kongou huffs. “I dare you!”

[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
[ ] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.

You're trying to shake Kongou and co. as fast as possible, of course, so nothing you choose will result in an extended stay. The CNO and SecNav are all dressed up for an ass-chewing party, after all~
>>
>shipslut thread
>hyperdimensional df thread in a few
This day could only get better if decu did a surprise mgnq continuation.
>>
>>46360475
Clever boy
>>
>>46360450
Cyrilic is a weird thing to read.
>>
>>46360450
Cyrillic is a hell of an alphabet. Influenced by Greek, of course, which probably explains a lot.
>>
>>46360503
I'm talking compared to Shoukaku or Arizona
>>
>>46360514
Decu's done questing.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.

>time to bully the battlecruiser
>>
>>46360508
>[x] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
>>46360508
[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.

y u hi bitch
>>
>>46360450
Because Russians are fucking weird and don't use good old fashion Freedom letters like they, and everyone else, should.
>>
>>46360243
Akagi's birthday was 5 days ago, Kaga's is tomorrow also,as is Ryujos, Yamashiro, Furutaka, Tatsuta, Asagumo's, Niizuki, and Shimotsuki, Enoki, and Hagikaze. Atago's, Hatsuyaki, Tamanami, and Yugure, birthday is today,
>>
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>>46360347
>That Fucking Catte
>write

Anon I've spent the last four years writing in mathematical hieroglyphics.
I have no writing ability whats so ever.

>>46360221
She's a busy and hyper active kinda girl.
Kinda like a Golden Retriever.
Dumb and naive as one too....

>>46360167
Oh, er, I don't think it ever came up, but we tossed around the idea that she has a pet bald eagle named Colbert.

No one knows where she found him, and no one is willing to ask; they all just roll with it.

They host "The Word" on the stream. Colbert manages the slides and helps her with the show. He's pretty talented like that.
>>
>>46360508
>[x] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>You're trying to shake Kongou and co. as fast as possible, of course, so nothing you choose will result in an extended stay. The CNO and SecNav are all dressed up for an ass-chewing party, after all~

Well we knew it was coming, all we can say is that it was Kongo's idea.
#blameKongo
>>
>>46360508
>spoilered stuff

then why bother with this choice? You're just dragging things out.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
I'm sorely tempted to hold a conversation with Kongou about her methods of wooing Gogto, that we advised her on, while he's under the desk, but we probably shouldn't
>>
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>>46360503
>I, UBERSTUD, refuse to fuck this chick I find incredibly fuckable despite my extremely well-documented need for some stress relief because of imaginary strings

You know the point of a relay race is to PASS the torch to someone else, not carry it forever. Right?
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46359960
I wonder what would happen if Settle actually ever points this out to those shipgirls trying to bang him?

"No seriously, I value you greatly as a ship and a fellow soldier, but I really don't want to reciprocate on your feelings because you look half my age and that makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

...yes, I know you're technically much older than I am. No, that does not resolve the issue. It exacerbates it, in fact."
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her what's got her so riled.

ALSO ASK HARUNA FOR SOME CAKES BECAUSE YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT
>>
>>46360508

[x] Type into phone and show them "Hes behind the desk actually. He just wanted me to say that." Slip out after the chaos.

I just want to see the world dess
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
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>>46360524
LLLLIIIIIIIEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.
>>
>>46360508
[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
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>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
Enough of the movies memes.
We need to hit her with a broadside from an acute angle.
>>
>>46360508


>[x ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.

No seriously, this is very odd and we need to find out why before we de-ass the area.
>>
>>46360508
>>[X] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.

Remember when we first met John McClane?
>>
>>46360577
SEARCH YOUR FEELINGS, YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
And then do absolutely nothing about it.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
>>46360562
>You know the point of a relay race is to PASS the torch to someone else, not carry it forever. Right?

The fucking irony...
>>
>>46360508
[x] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360552
Tatsuta's birthday is tomorrow?

So... since Tenryuu almost died on hers, are we going to lose our first boat soon?
>>
>>46360599
can give her goto.
>>
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>>46358832
FUCK
>>
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>>46360524
Nah, time elapsed since the last thread is still within boundaries of standard Decu pace.
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
The soft sell was going so well, Kongou-chan!
>>
>>46360461

Disney? Wait... I don't remember the Wicked Queen getting a singing number. And did Dumbo even have a villian?

Wait... He's still making films?
>>
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>>46360553
>she has a pet bald eagle named Colbert
Essex is Kasen?
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
For God's sake, Kongo, you were actually making headway - and now you've thrown it all away. I mean, I have some inklings as to why, but to be sure, I gotta ask.
>>
>>46360508
[o] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.
You could almost say it's Abyssal.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
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>>46360557
>then why bother with this choice? You're just dragging things out.

Because waiting 1.5 or even 2 hours for a ginormo update is something people tend to frown upon, because multiple anons were asking why Kongou suddenly changed tack last thread, because I'm running another additional thread on Friday so I don't have to worry about rushing through things as much, because it's not a big killer vote so I'm not obligated to wait a long time for votes before calling it and because when you find your writing falling flat for some reason, the rule of thumb is to bat it to anon for a vote to liven it up. Also, Kongou is fun to interact with, so this is the perfect juncture for a short update/short vote before I dive into a bigger one.
>>
>>46360634
>can give her goto.
While we could, we won't.
>>
Essex becoming an abyssal then getting thrown back onto land when?
>>
>>46360640
He's been saddle with so much shit at his job that he's only sleeping a few hours a day and catches up on sleep over the weekend.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her what's got her so riled.
>>
>>46360562
>mfw
>>
>>46360552
Wow.
I've really fallen behind.
>>
>>46360655
>Wait... He's still making films?
Well, the studio he founded is. Walt himself... not so much.
>>
>>46360627
Yup. What cruel irony. Did you also see who else has a birthday tomorrow and today?
>>
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>>46360619
>implying a torch

Oh, do tell, please.
>>
>>46360508
>[x] Joke? No. She's got it all wrong. It's a stirring tale, a magnum opus, a veiled allegorical story of the majesty of the last of a dying breed, the battleship. It's very Deep.

She's just jealous we get to play in the dirt. But still, I must return fire and as such, TROLL OPTION
>>
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>>46360508
>The CNO and SecNav
This is going to be !!FUN!!.
>>
>>46360508
[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360702
>not wanting to create the next generation of salty sea captains for the next generation of Higgins

Come on, man.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
IT WAS WORKING DAMNYOUBOTE
>>
>>46360508
>[x] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
ah, you were doing so well.
he almost noticed you were a young maiden in love.
and now you're back to being a breaching charge with a tea tray. shame.
>>
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>>46360655
Sounds like you could use a trip to DISNEYLAND!
>>
>>46360678
Is that not what happened?
>>
>>46360655
Eh, Walt Disney himself is dead by now, but many of the later films (Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame etc.) do give the bad guys their own songs. Bombastic, prideful, boasting songs that mightily try to convey just how HUGE their ego is.
>>
>>46360702
Those who want the girls as girls have to deal with the ship baggage.
Those who want the girls as ships, can't ignore the girl. Mr "looking for a replacement ship"
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
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>>46360689

... well, she has, technically, shot a dog before, so...
>>
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>>46360655
Yep. The last one was an autobiography.
>>
>>46360728
>thread where Settle takes Sammy and Willie to Disneyland

Top tier thread desu senpai
>>
>>46360508
>[X] Ask her what's got her so riled
Much as I want to troll the Dess, time to get an answer.
>>
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>>46360698
Aye.
What am I missing here? Yamashiro tomorrow? Atago today?
What?
>>
>>46360655
Dude passed away in '66.
Post-war and int he hands of Roy after Walt passed away, the company's become a juggernaut of the entertainment industry, with mostly good movies to their name. Walt opened a them park, Disneyland, in the 50's, and the company has theme parks all over the world. Heck, Disney Tokyo might even still be around.
>>
>>46360553
Writeup
when
>>
>>46360777
And Kaga tomorrow.
>>
>>46360780
>Heck, Disney Tokyo might even still be around.

I smell an omake thread
>>
>>46360745
I don't think so...

Shit. What if Essex is like a reverse Shigure?

>"Hey Terror, do you want Essex?"
>"Ummm... no thanks... we sent her on a 'spying mission' and I'd really like her to continue to believe that's why she's been exiled."
>>
VOTES CALLED~
>>
>>46360508
>[o] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46360807
So Essex is Invader Zim? That would explain so much...
>>
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>>46360757
Dude, you don't get it.
>Reimu
>Washington DC Police uniform
Something's not right here, dude.
Reimu is part of the System
>>
>>46360655
Disney got taken over by Jews and now makes superhero movies that beat the latest Batman and Superman movies at the box office.
>>
>>46360795
>writing takes time
>>46360799
...I had thought that that one was 'too obvious' and dismissed it as being of some hidden significance.

So, time to get the grill out, right?
>>
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>>46360698
>>46360627
>>
>>46360777
>>46360799
Modern Atago is still superior
>>
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>>46360828
>DC

It could be worse. Not a lot worse, but worse.
>>
>>46360850
Isn't that the LAPD's thing?
>>
>>46360847
Kaga's daughter is cute!
>>
>>46360861
No, no, the LAPD does it with SWAT, not beat officers.
>>
>>46360861
LAPD shoots shit to hell and back intentionally
>>
>>46360562

WHICH FUCKING CHICK YOU DUMBSHIT FUCKING CRIPPLE?
>>
ATF is still worst police. Remember Waco?
>>
>Arizona wants to bake

Best of boths worlds. We get comfy slice of life scenes with Arizona and I still get to pretend that planefag won't bitch out and fade to black on the inevitable sex scene
>>
>>46360861
Can confirm, live in LA and 2 of my acquaintances were shot by cops last year.
>>
>>46360878
When she gets back to port we need to make a crack to Kaga about that.
>>
>>46360894
Jersey State Police have literal Nazi uniforms
>>
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>>46360881
IOWA YOU COCK GOBBLING FAIRY OF A USELESS AMPHIBIOUS INFANTRYMAN

WHY DON'T YOU LAND A HELICOPTER ON HER FUCKING DECK AND PRINCESS CARRY HER TO THE BRIDGE SO YOU FUCK FUCK HER UNTIL SHE CUMS FROM ALL HER TURRETS
>>
>>46360881
Any of them, apparently.
>>
>>46360508

[X] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.

...I'm really curious, I admit.
>>
>>46360911
>Implying planefag can write smut without blushing so hard he faints from blood loss.
>>
>>46360911
It would be better if Arizona wanted to get baked.
>>
I'd prefer if we filled Arizona's buns with cream filling.
>>
>>46360947
Arizona doesn't do drugs!
>>
>>46360921
>>
>>46360553
>mathematical hieroglyphics
You what now?
>>
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>>46360921
I thought you were joking but nope
>>
>>46360703
Don't forget to rub in the fact that she isn't even a proper Battleship.
>>
>>46360482
"Just a reminder, the letter that looks like New Hampshire with legs is a D, right?" --Daisy Johnson
>>
>>46360927

>Cums from all her turrets

Fucking ew. Is that the shit you're into? Goddamn, you're one fucked up individual.

>>46360928

I AM BUT ONE FUCKING MAN, HERE.
>>
>>46360964
>>
>>46360959
>You will never do peyote with Arizona and go on a spirit quest with Hornet
why live
>>
>>46360951
I'd rather we put one in her oven.
>>
>>46360508
>[ ] Ask her why she's suddenly reverted to the hard sell technique.
>>
>>46361003
One of what?
>>
>>46360921
Were their uniforms designed by Hugo Boss? Because yeah.
>>
>>46360971
>>46360964
Apparently buttoned coat=Nazi nowadays.

Fucking faggots.
>>
>>46361015
It's a Katawa Shoujo joke
>>
>>46361031
Arizona doesn't smell like bacon though...
>>
>>46361015
A baby.

>>46361031
No it isn't.
>>
>>46360999
>>46360947

Not that I disagree, but shit is super illegal in japan. Forget our unauthorized stream, if we get caught using drugs we're fucking screwed for real..
>>
>>46360987
You may be one man, but even money bet is Iku might have some "performance enhances" that would allow you to at least handle a rotation of a few at a time.
>>
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>>46360894
>>
Anyone else wondering how Hamp's reacting to having one of his sisters and her girlfriend on board?
>>
>>46360878
tried to find that image of Kaga staring out from the port at her new namesake, no luck
>>
>>46361031
Burned jokes, Arizona... it fits.
>>
>>46360964
>>46360971
>>46360921
I see nothing wrong with this.
It's not like they're literal nazis
>>
>>46360969
>>46360795
>>46360835
>They think I can write

Anon. I am not a writer.
I don't write.
If I were I writer, I'd have like three unfinished quests on THP.

Alice. Update. Where. Faggit.
>>
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Birthday girl.
>>
>>46361048
Not even Ari can be as perfect as Hanako.
>>
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>>46360799
>>
>>46360861

No the LAPD actually hits what they shoot at, they just shoot all the wrong people.
>>
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>>46361093
Maybe Abyssal Ari will have cute scars.
>>
>>46361065
I am, but Hamp has declined to comment on the matter apparently. But if he is out there, Hamp, do you see your sister dating anyone on base?
>>
>>46361098
They are fucking trigger happy though.
>>
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Katawa Shoujo is godawful and so are the girls in it.
>>
>>46361065
>Hamp on coffee break with Houston
>suddenly STRAYA INTERRUPT
>Ye soft cunts better ave a right proper pint instead of gobbling that piece'a gobshite caffeine! Here, ave some stout.
>>
>>46360881

I've been trying to figure that out myself for a few months and...

>viking neo-norse philosophy
>I LIVE FOR AIUR

... are you shitting me.
>>
>>46360987
Do you have male reproductive organs
>I assume yes
Then use them before you lose them

unless
wait

maybe Hate had a bit of shrapnel damage between his legs

maybe the Abyssals made him a eunuch
>>
>>46361122
>>
>>46361130
>Not living for Aiur
A traitor to the Protoss race.
>>
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>>46360987
>I AM BUT ONE FUCKING MAN
ganbare!
>>
>>46361149
Wait, he's a fairy right?

Maybe that made him a... you know...
>>
>>46361111
Those aren't cute scars friend.
Her face looks like half of a potato.
>>
>>46361179
>Naka's reaction

TOP KEK
>>
>>46361179
I have feeling the POV character has a very small dick.

Just look at Naka's face.
>Harder's is even bigger than this
>>
>>46361130
You're a goddamn Tal'darim, aren't you?!

MY LIFE FOR AIUR.
>>
>>46361192
Trap Hate
Why did I laugh
>>
>>46360987
You aren't an anything-fucking man. That's sort of the issue.
>>
>>46361127
That's fucking pomspeak, not strayan.

And we don't drink fucking stout.
>>
>>46361254
Care to explain how Perth ruins a coffee break between siblings, then?
>>
>>46359814
kek
>>
I want to hug Houshou.
>>
>>46361273
Whining about seccession worse than a Texan hillbilly, usually.
>>
>>46361086
>sneaking a translucent dress onto a destroyer
NOT. FOR. LEWDS.
>>
>>46361179
>dat Tenryuu

>yfw Atago will never slap your torpedo cap
>>
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>>46361127
yeah nah mate.
here's an example of appropriate bogan english: http://g.e-hentai.org/g/743731/f3caa5ff16/
>>
>>46361318
Huh, expected more challenges to a brawl behind the parking lot or something.
>>
>>46361363
>I don't even have to open the link to know exactly which doujin that is
>>
>>46361179
Ha! Tone starts fucking crying

Shigure's up for it
>>
>>46361216
>>46361223
You get shown a whole lot of wieners when you're an idol, sadly.

I did make one guy cry when I told him his thighs were like a bathtub full of a 60/40 blend of tapioca and ricotta cheese stuffed into a powderless latex glove and folded into a balloon animal whose parents are disappointed in its choices.
>>
>>46361372
Westralians are a pack of wankers in general, really.

Only saving grace is that they're decent at footy.
>>
>>46361414
damn girl that's savage
>>
>>46361414
Savage.
>>
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>>46361414
Daaaaaaammmmmn
>>
>>46361093
>that bitch
>actually survived the traumatic event that defines her
>doesn't make anything of her life
>not even disabled, just crippled emotionally
>no armor
>no guns
>no redeeming characteristics at all
>>
>>46361453
A shame his dick wasn't.
>>
>>46361414
Oh, that's nothing.

Some idols get to shake hands with otakus who were fapping before they went to the convention AND STILL HAVE CUM ON THEIR HANDS

>>46361419
YOu reminded me of the time Australia complained that the setup for the AFC qualifiers was unfair, even WHEN THEY WERE THE WINNERS.
>>
>>46361414
As always, whenever something happens to you, are you still doing the concert? I got tickets
>>
>>46361414
I approve of this savagery.

>captcha pick the sandwiches
>captcha you dumb fuck hamburgers are not sandwiches.
>>
>>46361478

You do realise, thats why Naka's depiction ALWAYS has gloves.

She KNOWS.
>>
>>46361414
Utterly savage. I approve.
>>
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>>46361414
WEW LAD
>>
>>46361471
Oh, right in the pride of whoever that sad fuck was.
>>
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>>46361414
>>
>>46361130

>I LIVE FOR AIUR

what the fuck is this fucking shit? Speak english you motherfucker.
>>
>>46361478
Well yeah. It's no fun for anyone beating up on a bunch of hapless samoans 30-nil.

We'd like an actual fair challenge, thanks.
>>
>>46361478
Naka knows about that. Hence why she likely has people running interference for her when she does concerts (I imagine that Hate would want another excuse to beat otakus shitless).
>>
>>46361471
Was harders?
>>
>>46361565
I'm willing to be Harder will be up for it too.
>>
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>>46361550

IBUT-SETNA

AH NOX OOOH NA MUN
>>
>>46361573
It was probably much Harder.
>>
>>46361550
Zerg/UED marine detected.
>>
>>46361582
>Mummy
Admiral pls
>>
>>46361550
You know not of the Daelaam?
>>
>>46361508
>>46361508
>>46361508
>>46361508
>>46361508
That.

Though after I introduced Harder to the claws, he's, uh. Got a bit of a fixation.
>>
>>46361631
... Elaborate.
>>
>>46361631
I've seen enough latex to know where this is going.
>>
>>46360549
>Because Russians are fucking weird and don't use good old fashion Freedom letters like they, and everyone else, should.

Fucking straight, Colonel. Even the fucking army knows FREEDOM when they see it!
>>
>>46361631
>Got a bit of a fixation.
...With the gloves, or the claws?
Also have you two been spending the whole day finding new ways to make Wayne turn up the stereo in his office
>>
>>46361631
You gave a young dude his first handie with the equivalent of clawed gauntlets.

You're fucking Harder up for life girl. He'll only be able to be with you.
>>
>>46361631
Making gloves and thigh-highs stay is the mark of a true, cultured gentlemen.
>>
>>46361631
>he's, uh. Got a bit of a fixation.
with the gloves or the claws?
>>46361580
I imagine so, a sub would be great for security. Now that I think about it, I wonder if Iku ran security for Naka back when they were together.
>>
>>46361678
Go home Jersey, the Taffies are too innocent for this hell hole, and where you go they WILL try to follow.
>>
>>46361678
Really? Battleshop? You have the worst taste.
>>
>>46361724
Johnston, Hoel, innocent?
>>
>>46361678
Don't you have some Moo-sash-EE's to be leering at?
>>
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>>46361702
Such was her intention all along, dear anon.
>>
>>46361724
Sammy B's already here, though.
>>
>>46361689
Honestly, kind of both. And he has noise-canceling headphones.

>>46361702
...Should not want.
>>
>>46361078
B^U = \frac{\ciel{\lambda}|\frac{rho}{\leftarrow\bigcirc}}{pq|\begin{pmatrix}\Omega\\\emptyset} ?
>>
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>>46361478
>Some idols get to shake hands with otakus who were fapping before they went to the convention AND STILL HAVE CUM ON THEIR HANDS
Jesus fuck, Japan.

>>46361631
You haven't told us how everyone else on base is reacting to your MAKEOVER.
>>
>>46361774
>noise-canceling headphones
>Implying they're enough to muffle the sound of detonating depth charges
>>
>>46361774
>Honestly, kind of both.
Haw.
Man, I feel kinda bad for Iku.
>>
>>46361774
>Should not want.
BUT YOU DO
>>
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>>46361790
They don't know. And I'm going to try to keep it that way, as much as possible. At least as long as possible.
>>
>>46361631
CONCERT
IS IT STILL ON
>>
>>46361763
AND I CAN USE SOME COMPANY

I'M GETTING BORED HERE
>>
>>46361747
Well, more innocent.
>>
>>46361783
Loss
>>
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>>46361774
>...Should not want.
>...Should
>>
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>>46361830
That's not going to work. Best to get it over with sooner rather than later.
>>
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>>46361783
> B^U
>>
>>46361582

Why would I kill her? She was kinda fucking hot, I'd have done the same shit in Whatshisface's fucking place.

Except for the whole "bitching out when the royal guards came" part. Fuck that shit.
>>
>>46361842
Do you want Dennis, Raymond, John C. Butler, Johnston, Hoel, Heermann, Gambier Bay, St. Lo, Fanshaw Bay, White Plains, Kitkun Bay, and Kalinin Bay there with you?
>>
>>46361829
I'm a perverted old woman, what can I say?

>>46361837
...Yeah. Someone suggested we start fundraising after the Strait, and... well, I wasn't going to, but now, I think I have to.

>>46361820
Yeah, me too.

...I better get going.
>>
>>46361842
>Bored

In one word, you have managed to scare me almost as much as Erebus and Terror have in the past (before WoG clarified that they really aren't that strong).
>>
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>>46361783
>>
>>46361830
>Not embracing a Champion-level Digivolution
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1uH4BnswKQ
>>
>>46361899
How many years do you have over Harder anyway?
>>
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>>46361842
>BORED
>>
>>46361899
You better.
And I'll make sure it gets out to everybody.
EVERYBODY.
>>
>>46361941
18
>>
>>46361899
You know you look adorable with your hair down.
>>
>>46361893
Hate, there's a limit to how dense someone can be.
>>
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“I wouldn't dream of it,” you say gently. “But... first that thing with the webcam, then this... what about the gentle approach we talked about?”

“H-he's not cracking!” Kongou objects. “He acted like a cat in a thunderstorm the first day or two, and- and I can't wait!”

“What's the rush?”

Kongou seems to actually deflate before your eyes. She lets her bangs hide her eyes, shoulders slumping. For the first time since you've met her, her slender frame actually seems small.

“Kongou is old, Settle.”

Her sisters and you all stare, stunned.

“SO I'VE GOT TO TRY EXTRA-HARD!” she exclaims, snapping to sparkling life like a live wire. “HARUNA! HIEI! HIROSHIMA!”

“What the HELL did you-”

“KIRISHIMA!”

“THAT'S STILL WRONG!”

“NOBODY CARES! OUT! HE'S IN THE BUILDING, I CAN SMELL HIM!” Kongou reaches into her basket and produces a baguette, which she flourishes like a saber. “MUSH!” Her posse follows, Haruna and Hiei almost dragging Kongou out, with Kirishima following along behind rather sullenly. She shoots you one last suspicious glance before quitting the room.

Leaning over, you peek under the desk at Goto. “You okay?”

“No,” he grumps. “I know that girl. When she gets like this, she just keeps escalating. She'll be looking for chemical supplements, next. Especially after that quip about speed that Arizona made.” He clambers to his feet and dusts off his knees with annoyance.

“... but she *is* fast,” you point out.
>>
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>>46361899

Hang in there Naka.

Make some babies soon.

PT Imps come out
>>
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“Doesn't matter - anything to be better, to catch my eye. Last time she got like this, she went to Shimakaze and ended up gargling some water-methonol mix.”

“... well that doesn't sound so-”

“Until some *asshole* told her about fire-breathing,” Goto mutters. “Anyway, I'm going to start sending copyright takedown requests to every video site on the god damned internet in between bowing to my boss a whole damn lot. You've probably got your own fish to fry.”

You stifle a whimper. “This is true.”

By some small miracle you manage to evade any further adventures till you reach your office. You sit down at your desk, easing into the chair with a sigh before placing a call to your staff. You keep it short and sweet - OPSEC has potentially been violated by two shipgirls - is possibly being violated right now, in fact - and it must've been done by someone with greater than 1940s era command of technology. Certain outgoing ports are blocked even on the residential dormitory connections, and you very much freaking doubt that Kongou, launched in 1911, knows what a VPN is. You don't *say* that you want some gullible fuck from base IT trussed and bound on a silver platter, but you don't really need to. You hope he's a big fat dweeb - he might slow that bus down just long enough to soften the blow when it runs your ass over. You hang up, knowing Your Staff is now calling everyone who Needs To Know (which is a sizeable list) and starting the Official Procedure to send said communiques Up The Chain, which takes Time.

You wrap these fantasies around you, snug and tight as you begin your after action report (trying three times to avoid starting with “it was a dark and stormy night” in officialese before just noting the poor visibility conditions and moving on.)
>>
>>46361899

Hey Naka, you know people.

Who's got some Disney films that I can catch up on?
>>
>>46361899
You can at least try to clear the air with Iku, moreso than you did over the phone that is.

Might not make things better but at least you can honestly say you tried?
>>
>>46361983
>HIROSHIMA
HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO YOUR OWN SISTER BONGOU???
>>
>>46361724
>Go home Jersey, the Taffies are too innocent for this hell hole, and where you go they WILL try to follow.
Eh, Johnson's fucking here. She got banned from /k/ for shitposting in Yams-vs-me thread.
>>46361744
>Really? Battleshop? You have the worst taste.
No. I have best taste. That pun was fucking god-tier. Fucking... fucking Musashi titty tier.
>>46361752
>Don't you have some Moo-sash-EE's to be leering at?
If I could see past her dinner, I would be.
>>46361842
Yo, Sammy! What's good, kiddo?
>>
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>>46361842
>>
>>46361983
>HIROSHIMA
Best morning wake-up ever
>>
>>46361983
>“SO I'VE GOT TO TRY EXTRA-HARD!” she exclaims, snapping to sparkling life like a live wire. “HARUNA! HIEI! HIROSHIMA!”
Hey, let's be nice to the Mic Check chick.
>>
>>46361631
>wants to keep the gloves on

Man, those are sexy. Like kneesocks for hands.
>>
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>>46361983
>“Kongou is old, Settle.”

Oh God! Kongou hears her biological clock ticking and has the baby-making urge!

The ACTUAL baby-making urge!

As in creating a baby not just going through the motions!

PANIC!
>>
>>46362006
>Certain outgoing ports are blocked even on the residential dormitory connections
>ports
>mattering for streaming
Everything can be done over :80 or :443, and you won't have normal internet if you block those
>>
>>46361983
You know it kinda feels like she's getting abyssal nightmares too.
>>
>>46362116
Are you daft?
The joke is that she's old and christmas cake.
She's a *granny* by Japanese standards.
>>
>>46362126
but does the SecNav know this?
>>
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>>46361983
>“Kongou is old, Settle.”

>>46362006
>(trying three times to avoid starting with “it was a dark and stormy night” in officialese before just noting the poor visibility conditions and moving on.
haw
>>
GotoXKongou babies when? Is this how we get the new DDGs?

And will HampXHornet produce CV-12?
>>
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>>46362116
I don't know if I want Kongo and Goto's kid to be a modern battleship (with all the ridiculousness that implies), an admiral with Kongo's personality, or both...
>>
>>46362116
Panic?

Please, the Great God Pan has been here for quite some time.

>>46362166
You'd be surprised at the obvious stuff some important people don't know.

>>46362172
Instead, he reflexively writes "It was a cold and snowy day..."
>>
>>46362199

It would obviously be some manner of pre-AEGIS DDG.
>>
>>46362126

Settle doesn't know this. To him there is Security, and then there are Ways Around It, and his phone has an option to set up VPNs, which he assumes uses Tunnels, or... tubes? Whatever. IT nerd shit. If he doesn't know it, what's the chances of Kongou?
>>
>>46362199
>>46362183
>>46362116
No, no, their baby will definitely be A BLONDIE WHO HAS A HARDON FOR THE ADMIRALTY
>>
>>46362199
>I don't know if I want Kongo and Goto's kid to be a modern battleship (with all the ridiculousness that implies), an admiral with Kongo's personality, or both...
>an admiral with Kongo's personality

That's terrifying.
>>
>>46362220
As I previously stated, never assume that someone in authority knows something simple.

Oft times, they don't. Because they're usually busy doing more complicated things and have people to do the simple things for them.
>>
>>46362218
Why would a battleship have a destroyer as a kid, though?

I understand that from a modern doctrinal framework, we don't use battleships anymore, but genetics should have more to do with it than modern doctrine.
>>
>>46362220
>If he doesn't know it, what's the chances of Kongou?
Surprisingly high?
Arizona's taken to her smartphone like a fish to water in just three weeks, and Kongou's had over a year. We've seen that carriers have trouble with computers, and destroyers are hit-and-miss, but BBs are no strangers to refit.
>>
>>46362238
>>46362199
We already have one, but technically she's a captain.

Yurika Misumaru ring any bells?
>>
>>46362006
Thread over?
>>
>>46362020
Hey Hamp's! How's it feel to have your sister and her girlfriend on base?
>>
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>>46362268

just throw me right under that boss bro, thanks for that
>>
>>46362306

Christ, it hasn't even been 15 minutes, CALM YO NIPPLES DOWN.
>>
So Kongo gives up on her new approach after...what? A day? Two? When said new approach was all about faithful devotion?

Did something fuck with her head?
>>
>>46362220
It's a series of tubes.

God, I've been here for too long.
>>
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These comfortable deceptions last right up till the moment your desk phone rings. You push your keyboard away and pick it up lazily, prepared to blow off the Latest Crisis on the grounds that You Have Work To Do, and everything else can go through your Secretary (who is currently very unavailable, which fits nicely.) “Yes?” It's always polite to answer the phone, well, politely, but you *do* have a Star now - and you're thinking you'd better enjoy it while you still can.

“Admiral Settle, I presume?”

The world Stops. Capital S. The clocks stop ticking. Your heart stops beating. Your very lifeblood lies listless, frozen in your veins. You are as cold and inanimate as a chunk of marble, a chunk of marble looking up at a sculptor with hammer and chisel raised and trying to scream but the *sculptor hasn't carved the mouth yet.*

Funny, you thought your life was supposed to flash before your eyes at times like this, but all you can think of is scrambled, inane bullshit.

“Are you there?” repeats the very distinctive voice of the Chief of Naval Operations.

“Yes,” you croak quietly. “I am here.”
>>
>>46362317
Hey man, God doesn't have the operational context to piece that together. Just fly casual.
>>
>>46362338
She wants babies anon.

Women get crazy for babies.
>>
>>46362338
No she's just impatient
>>
>>46362307


...Wait. Which sister?

*ssssssssssssssip*

This is important...
>>
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“Do you know why I called, Admiral Settle?” he asks, in the same general tone of voice cops use when they ask if you know why they pulled you over.

“You wanted an update on our new shipgirls,” you reply. “Houston hasn't been debriefed yet, Essex - well I assume someone gave her the bottom-line, but I don't think it stuck. And the Australians are going to be dancing a jig 'round the embassy within hours to get their hands on Perth-”

“But you won't have to worry about any of that,” the CNO points out, “because your career is over, isn't it?”

[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
[ ] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
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>>46362225
>A BLONDIE WHO HAS A HARDON FOR THE ADMIRALTY
>Reinhard is the son of Kongou
That explains everything.
>>
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>>46362350
>>
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>>46362350
>“Are you there?” repeats the very distinctive voice of the Chief of Naval Operations.
MOSHI MOSHI, JESUS DESS
>>
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>>46362220
>>
>>46362380
>[ X ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362006
>“Anyway, I'm going to start sending copyright takedown requests to every video site on the god damned internet

Good fucking luck with that
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.

Barring that, break down and cry.
>>
>>46362350
In honor of Ryan Settle, USN:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WChTqYlDjtI
>>
>>46362380
>[] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.

Also,
>46362378
Houston.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46361897
FUCK YEAH I DO

>>46362034
NOTHING BUT THE SAME SHIT EVERY DAY.

THEY WON'T EVEN LET ME GO TO IWO

NOTHING TO DO BUT SHITPOST
>>
Sorry about that, my last post was rejected for being slightly to large, despite 4chan not giving me the red warning text.

FFS someone should e-mail hiro and ask him to up the goddamned character limit per post for /tg/.
>>
>>46362380

HAHA HAVE FUN FAGGOT.

aw shit I hope your fucking replacement is halfway fucking competent. Probably won't be.
>>
>>46362378
The one you didn't want to show up?

Why do you even need to ask this?
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
[X] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.

[x]Ask how bad the stream was.
>>
>>46362380
>[x] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.

Passive Aggressive Revenge! Make him say it.
>>
>>46362350
God comes a knocking. HUEHUEHUEHUE!

>captcha is flower, how appropriate.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Do the submission pose, like what beta wolves do when the alpha wolf arrives
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
THIS IS PROBABLY YOUR ONLY HOPE
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
Kongou once got bashed across the room by an end table and didn't suffer a scratch.
Arizona is the one who was SWINGING that table.
We're only a man.
>>
>>46362380
[X] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Agree with him, you aren't cut out for this shit anyways.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
We're so screwed.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.

It's all Kongo's fault.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362268
>We've seen that carriers have trouble with computers
Oh god, the irony.

Well, Japanese carriers, at any rate. Hornet seems to be okay with them, but looking at a screen too long apparently hurts her eyes (also, she hasn't been around for long at all). And Essex has been back (on base) for...very little time.
>>
>>46362380
>[x] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.

Just be respectful about it. MacArthur had a (relatively) successful run during WWII, and he still got shitcanned when he was insubordinate to the President.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
we are Fucked with a capital F
>>
>>46362472
>>46362380
this
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>Admit you're helpless and can't control your boatgirls.

Can we not?
>>
>>46362380
[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
[x] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362378
Houston.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.

Let's bring Kongou to the meeting/execution later so Boss can see for himself.
>>
>>46362435
>NOTHING BUT THE SAME SHIT EVERY DAY.
>THEY WON'T EVEN LET ME GO TO IWO
>NOTHING TO DO BUT SHITPOST

You need a fucking hobby. Don't you play that halo bullshit to blow off steam? Go do fucking that.
>>
>>46362380
in my experience with authority figures, playing dumb and making excuses only makes things worse. i'd say our only hope is to attack.

[ ] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362488
But that was after WWII, not during it.
>>
Shit, I forgot.
I'm about to go to bed, but good luck guys, try not to pick stupid options, viz. any waifu other than Sendai
>>
Maybe Settle can pull a Patton and die peacefully by motor vehicle accident.

Or maybe the Abyssals have an opening for admiral.
>>
>>46362380
>[X] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362380
>[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>[x] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
One does not simply bullshit their God. It just doesn't happen.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>[S] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362506

*ssssssssssssssip*

...

*ssssssssssssssssssssssip*
>>
>[x] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.

I finally caught a live thread. It's a fucking miracle.
>>
>>46362472
>>[ ] Agree with him, you aren't cut out for this shit anyways.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
File: he does it for free.webm (2.05 MB, 480x270)
2.05 MB
2.05 MB WEBM
>>46362380
[x] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362380
[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
>>
>>46362515
True. It was during the Korean War, and he threw a bitchfit when President Truman wouldn't authorize nuking the fuck out of the Chinese forces in North Korea.
>>
>>46362508
She's likely tempbanned from XBL at the moment to boot.
>>
>>46362380
>[x] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>[X] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.
>>
>>46362568
This, it's Settle's only hope.
>>
[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.

We even begged Arizona for help, but she decided to keep the stream going rather than shut it down. And then Essex walked in.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
and
>[ ] Agree with him, you aren't cut out for this shit anyways.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.

Passing the buck will only make this worse
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
Kongou's fucking *Bongou*. You can't hope to control the dess. You just sorta fucking *aim* it.
>>
>>46362380
>>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
>>
>>46362552
the everlasting fuck I just watch

>captcha is boats
>>
Guys, if we start writing our resume now, maybe the Russians or Chinese navy will hire Settle.
>>
>>46362380
[X] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
>>46362380
[o] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380

[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.

We tried, oh how we tried.

For like 2 days it worked.

AND THEN SHE DID THIS!
>>
>>46362380
>[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
We need to let the world now that sanity is the new reality whenever shipgirls come into play
>>
>>46362615
>>46362380
+1
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
[x] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
Shit's crazy yo
>>
On the one hand, Essex probably didn't know any sensitive information to broadcast on the stream.

On the other hand, she probably spouted how much she hated the Chinese or some other dumb shit like that.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.

And what >>46362568 said
>Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
>>
Guys, I know the solution.

We need to coceer Goto into being receptive once to Kongou's dere dere modo.

That'll keep her in that mode and ALL OF US out of trouble.
>>
>>46362625
>wanting to command slav shit or chink trash
fucking disahurbu commit Sudoku at once
>>
If throwing the shipgirls under the bus is our only escape, so be it.
Kongou is a nut, and after all, Arizona -could've- gone in there and dragged Kongou out, instead of joining in and making things worse.
DEFLECT EVERYTHING, is the standard modus operandi one must operate under while in the military.
>>
>>46362625
>Not wanting to lead a PMC
Let's revive Rhodesia, yo.
>>
KONGO DID NOTHING WRONG

IT'S SETTLE'S FAULT FOR NOT PULLING THE PLUG OR INSTANTLY SHUTTING DOWN ALL COMMUNICATIONS

Why do ships need internet access at all? They're fucking soulless automatons. They should just be given a dock and maybe some fuel. We treat them too nicely and this is what happens. Insanity.
>>
>>46362684
>On the other hand, she probably spouted how much she hated the Chinese or some other dumb shit like that.
Essex is the reason why neither the Brits or the Germans will come here.
>>
>>46362380
>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
Fear is the mind killer. If we can scream at demons, we can weather god
>>
>>46362625
I guess the resumee will be half like "I scream at abyssals".
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
>[o] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362540
Hey, could be worse, you could've gotten Chicago and her "Bad/Lonely" Cop routine.
>>
>>46362380
>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul
>>
>>46362718
>local Admiral drives off abyssal raiders with this one weird trick
>>
>>46362708
Oh, hey, it's 2016.

If the abyssals come for you two years for now, don't blame us, mate.
>>
>>46362713
>>46362684
ibetthejewsdidthis.jpg
>>
>[ ] Play innocent. Play DUMB. It's coming either way - no need to squirm for him. Don't let them hear your voice crack. This is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka. They must internalize your suffering to have sympathy with it.
>>
/www.tucsonnewsnow. com/story/31480834/questions-over-assault-weapon-used-by-mesa-officer-facing-murder-charge

Come to think of it, I wonder what Arizona would think of the state she's named after now.
>>
>>46362679
Supporting this.
>>
>>46362380
>... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362622
>settle cleaning up after another arizona leak
>>
>>46362708
Please die.
>>
>>46362745
>abyssals

That's just a dumb false flag operation designed to increase military spending and mask the Illuminati takeover of the world's economies.
>>
>>46362741
>>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
>>
>>46362742
>THIS ADMIRAL REKT THE ABYSSALS AFTER ONLY 2 DAYS ON BASE! READ HIS SHOCKING SECRET HERE!
>>
>>46362742
>Ensigns hate him!
>Admirals? IN MY COMBAT ZONE?
>It's more likely than you think
>>
>>46362708
Go die you soulless pussy-licking cuntstain of an automaton
>>
>>46362757
USS Florida.

That is all.
>>
>>46362380
>[x] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362350
>Funny, you thought your life was supposed to flash before your eyes at times like this, but all you can think of is scrambled, inane bullshit.

Bad news for you, Settle
>>
>>46362742
>This Admiral is fucking a war grave and you're basically just a complete idiot
>Click here to find the secret to taking the virginity of national icons
>>
>>46362770
Conspiracy theories like this only prove the inferiority of Earthnoids.
>>
>>46362380
[X] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362568
I think it's worth point out to God that we COULD handle them if we weren't so badly understaffed. One man trying to keep track of so many shipgirls at once, deal with their issues and keep them happy, manage battles, and solve any number of interpersonal conflicts between them/random crises that come up (frequently) is way too goddamn much. Case in point, with the webcam incident, the only subordinates around were either Arizona, fucking Sammy, or Hate (who was too busy laughing his ass off to bother helping avert a PR crisis).
>>
>>46362783
Speaking of, any interesting entries in the saga of Florida Man lately?
>>
>>46362380
>>>>>Point out that this is Just Another Normal Day at Yokosuka without patronizing our god. Begin listing off every piece of insanity we've encountered this past week, nice and calm as we can be
Is it bad that i can literally feel Settle's Fear?
>>
>>46362380
"With all due respect, sir, my career, Goto's career, hell, everyone's career was over the moment we met Kongo and Essex
>>
>>46362783
Florida is just honest about being crazy. It's no different in the rest of the US.
>>
>>46362807
Like that one movie with the sunglasses.

I couldn't stop laughing.
>>
>>46362803

Nah. that'd require KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH IT. I'm fucking guessing he doesn't cos she couldn't be more fucking obvious about what the fuck she wants if she got naked and launched herself at him off a fucking catapult.
>>
>>46362817
That's the main staffing problem, really.

Too few people can be cleared to work at high-security level with shipgirls without compromising OPSEC.
>>
>>46362839
>if she got naked and launched herself at him off a fucking catapult.
Medieval or modern catapult?
>>
>>46362817
And that we need therapists on base something fierce. Maybe not the professional sort, just people who are willing to listen to a shipgirl if something is wrong and offer support.
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362380
[o] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362819
It's actually been pretty quiet as far as I know.
>>
>>46362839

http://breakingdefense.com/2016/03/over-where-army-struggles-to-relearn-rapid-deployment/

Hey, LT, this seems interesting...
>>
>>46362839
And you would if Yamato or Iowa did that?
>>
>>46362859

BOTH. AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

Like, hook a medieval one to a fucking modern one on one of the ford class boats and fucking launch that while launching her fucking self.
>>
>>46362819
>>>/news/35329
>>
>>46362817
>or Hate (who was too busy laughing his ass off to bother helping avert a PR crisis).
And has he dealt with the major security problem of the base yet, that its contractors are riddled with Yakuza who are a threat to military operations and national security?
What about keeping track of the PT Boats to curb future incidents of personnel getting mauled by rogue boats?
>>
>>46362380
>[ ] ... you saw that video, right? You saw what I have to deal with. No man can chain the Kongou. Trust me. We TRIED.
>>
>>46362859
Electro-Magnetic one, duh. Do you even USS Gerald Ford?

>>46362837
Elaborate.
>>
votes called etc~ new thread soon
>>
>>46362862
>Planefag
>Therapists

You don't know him real well do you? Though we better hope this isn't to him what Victory Gundam was to Tomino
>>
>>46362817
We have staff. But they only handle paperwork. We need people for actually dealing with ship people and animals.
>>
>>46362684
My money's on her having done a striptease to her own accompaniment of this old song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVliFfSexWs
>>
>>46362887
Hey, LT. Yams wears panties right. How the fuck did you make her do that, and how the fuck do I make Mushi wear them?
>>
>>46362380
] Any hope of salvaging this situation went to hell the moment Essex walked in, so you're just gonna go ahead and point out that you've won three battles and told an eldritch abomination to go vanish up its own asshole. That has to count for something.

Don't insult the man by playing dumb and don't try to pass the buck. The only way out is through.
>>
>>46362220
...The funniest thing is that VPN's do use tunnels.

t. A bored student
>>
>>46362917
Naw, he considers SWQ his Victory Gundam.

>>46362888
Florida why
>>
>>46362851
Given what just happened, I'd say OPSEC is already pretty fucking compromised.

Having too few humans and too many shipgirls with issues (to put it mildly)--along with the overarching priority to keep said shipgirls happy makes for too many potential crises and far too few preventive measures, damage control officers, and water-tight bulkheads to adequately deal with the leaks.
>>
>>46362954
Can't be, no fatalities, no signs of him royally losing his shit (unlike KCQ), and generally amusing and light hearted. If anything SWQ is more akin to early ZZ Gundam
>>
>>46362929

Ya know, I understand bored fucking nerds, but this shit is fucking old. At least pick a pair of ships that've fucking come back.
>>
>>46362922
I thought planefag said she wasn't the kind of girl who'd do a striptease.
>>
>>46362981
Does Tomino consider ZZ to be a mistake of his though?
>>
>>46363017

Hey LT, what do you think of the fact that Fallujah is back in insurgent hands?
That all your past work was for naught?
>>
>>46363026
What do you expect from the Marines? If you want a city to be taken back for good, you send in the Army.
>>
>>46363017
>>46363026

t̛̒ͬͧͧ̈̏̐̌͌͛ͯ̐̐ͯͧ͛̏̅͏̶̦͕̘͚͓͔̦̰̠̤̪͉͕͎̭͕ͅh̨̛̛̫̣͔̰̝͔͎͍̱̞͚͖͈̉ͧͣͫ̐ͥ̎̔ͫͣͧ̂̎ͮ̑̏ͬ͂ͦ͡͝ͅả̞̭̝͚̪̮̼̯͈͔̗ͯ̐̃̏̀͌͂͢͟t̵ͫ̏̓ͪ͂ͥ͋ͣͩ͢҉̥͙̳̳̜̬͖̥̻̖̗͕̹̬ ̶̴̘̯̱̪͉͚̙̞͚̟̣̪͔͖̞͖̽̓̑̉̂͌ͪͅy̧͂ͧ͂ͬ́͊̍͛̊͘͏̧̗̣̫̺͖̲̕ǫ̷̘̖̣͚̽̊̀ͣ̚͝͞͡u̴͓͈̭̪̮͔̮̗͕͕͙̞̭̇ͤ͂͑̂͌̒ͣͨͣ͌ͯ͗ͫȑ̴̺̲͉͉̹̟͕͇̗͎͎͉̙̣ͤͫ̂̊ͬͩ͌̑ͤ̓̒̉͑͑̅̎̀͘͝͞ ̶̵̹̺͔̟̱̙ͪͥ̈͒̑̈́̅ͣͣ̀̿̍͜f̨̙̰͔̤͕͙̩̜̹̗͚̹͉̲͖ͫ̒͒͊̈́͢r̢̡̲̠͎̪͂̄͊̅̊̏ḯ̷̶͚̖͇̞͎̣̞͉̗̜̍̓ͮ̉́ͯͤ̎ͦ͊ͨ͘̕͞e͍͔̝̥͉̰͌ͩ̔̇̿̋͡n̢ͧ̇̀ͬ̉͆̈́̅̒͆̾̄͗ͫ͊̐҉̡̧͚͎̩͈͉̝̣̦͢d̵̨̛̯̜̩͚̹̹̮̖͍̈́ͧ͐̋̾̆̃ͬ͜s̵̸̫͔͚̖̠̞͇̖̠͓̦̘̪̬̻ͮͥ͗ͮ̃̽̓̉̓ͩͥ͢͝ ͖̫̫̬̘̬̺̪ͪ̈́ͪ̎ͨ̓̃ͭ̌ͧ͐̒͑͒̆́̀̚d̷̷̷͓̲͖̖̻̐ͬ̒ͦ̉ͬ̌ͣ͑͡i͇͇̲͓͓͔͙ͧ̑ͨ̃͆̋͒͊ͩͮ͊̿͊̀ͭ̀͘͠e̸͒̿̋͛̒̆̐͋ͨ҉̙̺͕̹̺̤́d͌ͨ͋́͌͊͊͌͏̵͔͇̻͚̪̥̝̺͚͔ ̛̆̊̎ͥ̉̐̂̉̓̌̾̾ͦ͌ͧ͏̼̠̳͚̩̣̦͍͇i̶̝͕͚̹̳ͨ́͑̋̓̆̓̏ͭ̓̏ͧ͂̓̀̚͡͝n̵̛͔̝͓͍̱̜̞̊̃̌ͬͩ͛̄̅͛͗̄͜͠͝ͅ ̄ͨ͌̊ͧͫͪ҉̛̖̺̫̯͓͎̣͈̬̖̜̠̼̮̹v̵̳̩̜͕͓̠̫͚̫̥̦̺̇ͭ̊̾̉̋ͩͤͭ̏̅͗͂̃͞a͎̗̫͔ͣ̑ͧ͂̋͌̀ͤ̑͋ͤ͗͠͠͡ͅî̡̛̞̭̼̹̲̟̲̳̩͖̩͔̖̓ͦͥ̏̒̏ͫ͗̍̃̂̚nͩ͒͛̂̓̓̐̚͏̶̖̳̼̗̲̗̪͞
>>
>>46362540
Hamp, I swear to god, if I hear anymore of the thrice-dammed exaggerated sipping noises, I'll force feed you instant powder coffee. The kind that tosses everything in the mix like the Russians did with their troops.
>>
>>46363059
Didn't Hate's girlfriend die on the Higgins? I wonder if she'll end up a fairy when Higgins respawns.
>>
>>46363026

Probably bout the same fucking way all the 'nam vets felt when Saigon fell.
>>
>>46363048
If you REALLY want a city taken back for good, you send in a McDonald's
>>
>>46363017
On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, Imma battleship I do what I waaaaaant!

>>46363066
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
>>
>>46363019
dunno, but it wasn't a high point either (the early silly part, not the darker later part)
>>
>>46363100
Or just build a golf course and watch the US Airforce take up residence.
>>
>>46363100
>>46363123
Too late.
McaDees is Japanese now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTrC86mmPaw
>>
>>46363066

Hey Hamp, I think he just told you to square up.
>>
>>46363145
Dude. Houston's a chick. She's got a rack and everything.
>>
>>46363101
You. Are. Smalltime!
>>
>>46363133
Nippon is basically an American vassal state so it still counts
>>
>these scrub-tier attempts at character RP
Just fucking don't.
>>
>>46363077
LT
When will you come back to Los Angeles
Your home waits for you... your true home
>>
Oh god more role players
>>
YOU ARE ALL LIKE WHINY FAPPING BABIES
>>
>>46363133
somebody should make a version of this with Ryojo
it fits too goddamn good
little aircraft carrier trying to fit in with civvie life
>>
>>46363182

My true fucking home is N'awlins. My duty station is fucking Pendleton, and my assigned station right the fuck now is FAY. So, ya know. I have no fucking clue what you're carrying on about.
>>
>>46363177
Or get Planefag's go-ahead first.
>>
>>46363211
>FAY
Hmmmmmmm...
>>
>>46363211
>my assigned station right now is FAY
>FEY
>fairy

pfftt
>>
>>46363101
Jokes run it's course for tonight, don't wear out your welcome if you want to be able to do this in later threads.
>>
>>46363195
>Implying this is new
>>
>>46363217
Or, better yet, just don't
>>
>>46363211
>He's half Cajun
>He doesn't make Cajun Chicken
LT please.
>>
>>46363211
You came from where?

Damn. NO-Boat's been busy, hasn't she?
>>
>>46363235

Fleet Activities Yokosuka you stupid fuck.
>>
>>46363211
So your French.

That explains everything!
>>
>>46363211
>FAY

And you say you're not a fairy!
>>
>>46362508
FINE I'M OUT

>>46362586
NOT YET TODAY
>>
>>46363246
They already did. Not doing it isn't an option. They need to hear "no" from the big greek himself.
>>
>>46363101

Yeah, fighting Houston is a lose-lose for me.

*ssssip*

If she wins, I lost in a fight to my sister.

*ssssip*

If I win, I just beat up my sister.
>>
>>46363268
You know they're never going let go of that, right, LT?
>>
>>46363304
>*ssssip*

*teleports behind you*
>>
>>46363308
Nah, they'll get fucking bored and move on fast enough anyway.
>>
>>46363304
You just beat up your Baby sister, there's a distinction here, I'm just not sure where.
>>
>>46363211
>N'awlins
What if I told you I had some beignets ready to send overseas? What would you send in return?
>>
>>46363271
If he was French/Acadien, he'd say Nouvelle-Orléans.

So, unfortunately, he is probably not of Frank blood.
>>
>>46363304
You're siblings though. Hazing one another is what siblings are *for*
>>
>>46363313
*...* as in sound, not action, you humongous faggot.

Reddit get out REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>46363349
Really it's the fucking RPer who you should be telling to get out, not me for parodying him.
>>
>>46363338
>Hate is a Bishop
>Hate wanted to join the Wing but he had eye problems
Hate might be Jess's son!
>>
>>46363348

But physical hazing is just... Southern.

I prefer emotional and psychological hazing. The sort that makes her doubt reality.

*ssssssip*

More sporting that way. And entertaining.
>>
>>46363304
How sweet. Be grateful that Chicago isn't here yet.

I'd suggest you lock your door when you sleep tonight, but Perth, so nevermind.
>>
>>46362954
>Writer writes some shit, people like it
>Writer comes back later with new shit
>People like it, also like his old shit and ask if/when he's doing more of that
>NEVER EVER, THAT STUFF WAS HORRIBLE AND BAD AND I HATE IT AND YOU'RE STUPID FOR LIKING IT AND I'M NEVER WRITING IT AGAIN
I have seen this multiple times actually and every time I think it's retarded.

>>46363330
We could go back to talking about that shy as fuck bombshell you've known for like a fucking week that likes to chill in your room in nothing but YOUR t-shirt and her panties.
>>
>>46363362
Action-text or *...* is frowned upon here.
If you must action text,
>at least use the meme arrow, like so
>>
>>46363398
Tell the RPer that.
>>
So, railguns on ships, announced publicly by the US navy. New news it ain't, but what are you all expecting out of it?
>>
>>46363371
Jess was a lesbian.
>>
>>46363394

Or we could, ya know. not. That'd be fucking good too.
>>
>>46363398
*Uses action text to spite you*

Nothin personnel kid.
>>
>>46363268
The fuck is it called 'Fleet Activities'?
>>
>>46363338
Well in the SW89 epilogue, Brigitte had a son that was rumoured to be Franks.

So he might be.
>>
Man, thread really goes to shit when waiting for a new thread, huh. Seems to be when the RPers crawl out of the woodworks
>>
>>46363434
General term for most naval bases that the US has.

Just like Fleet Activities Sasebo.

>>46363422
And this changes things how?
>>
>>46363434
Because Naval Base is apparently something it can't be called.
>>
>>46363420
How does one counter a railgun armed ship?

I don't think there's any amount of armor that can defeat a railgun.
>>
>>46363434
Ask the Navy
>>
>>46363434
cuz it's where fleet activities take place
>>
>>46363445
Because RPing *during* the updates is just bad form, yes?
>>
>>46363430
I understand man. Nobody likes to stand on unstable ground, let alone argue on top of it.
>>
>>46363394
There is little more mortifying that re-reading your work and seeing things with hindsight.

"Oh God. I thought that was cool? I could have done that so much better, but I can't undo THAT."

>>46363430
They've yet to let me go, they won't ever let you go.

>>46363444
Allow me to correct myself. Of Frankish blood.

That is to say, the blood of the Old Frankish Confederation and Kingdom, once ruled by the Merovingians, later by the Carolingians and Capetians.
>>
>>46363466
more railguns
>>
>>46363466
>Any amount of armor that can defeat a railgun

Uh, yes there is? It's just more of a matter of speed and velocity when it comes to penetration, plus with ships compared to say a tank, just going through one side and out the other isn't as effective as penetrating and then exploding inside the ship so...
>>
>>46363466
>How does one counter a railgun armed ship?
Anti-ship missiles, subs with supracaviating torpedoes...
>>
>>46363434
"Fleet Activities Yokosuka" sounds like it'd make a great slice-of-life animu.
>>
>>46363466
Missile it.
>>
>>46363464
Do we have one in a place that starts with G yet
>>
>>46363506
>Implying they haven't done a manga about it
Well technically, it's a SoL manga about CVN-73, but still.
>>
>>46363391

Ain't much point in locking doors that can be taken off their hinges. Question is, what happens when that door is opened?

*sssssip*

Care to find out?

*ssssip*

Unrelated subject- they've got cameras that don't even need film now. Just a few buttons and pictures can go all over the place.
>>
>>46363420
What we're expecting
>development hell for the next few years
What orbitfag's expecting
>nuclear destroyers/frigates/cruisers with multiple railgun batteries
>return of the battleship
>>46363466
Aircraft?
Submarines?

It's just improving gun-based systems, allowing them to fight on the level of missiles, but power generation is the elephant in the room.
>>
>>46363466
1. By changing course.
>>
>>46363478
RPing in general is bad form.
And the updates are still going on, we're just waiting for a new thread. Not a good idea to do the RP garbage now (Or, indeed, ever) as it would have to be interrupted whenever the update hits.
>>
>>46363521
link now
>>
>>46363478
Nobody pokes Naka for that, though...
>>46363521
Link?
>>
>>46363466
With a Gauss Rilfe-armed ship.
>>
>>46363527
What're you sipping?
>>
>>46363554
Because Naka is actually entertaining.
>>
>>46363528
Orbitfag is probably the retard who made the USS Donald Trump BBVGN
>>
>>46363560
His Starbucks coffee, the hipster.
>>
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>46360188
It irks me that "clerical" doesn't come last in the list in the chorus to make for more of a rhyme with "carrier".
>>
>>46363521
you have my undivided FUCKING attention
>>
>>46363554
That's because she's a PF approved RPer and writer of Nakatime and she's actually entertaining and provides canon info on things.
>>
>>46363554
'Cause Naka's not quite as shit. Although, I still can't stand it.
I'd also wish the ones that are supposed to be Canonish would get trips.
>>
>>46363554
>>46363552
http://mangasaurus.com/view/726-023774
They made this baby to introduce Japan to the GW after Shitty Kitty left Yokosuka.
>>
>>46363554
Naka is also a Planefag-approved content creator.
>>
>>46363560

Nice little Colombian blonde roast. Bit of cream, bit of cane sugar.
>>
>>46363554
Yes, but Naka is from in this quest.

The BelBatt people are funny and ok when they show up once in a while. But when they start getting really into it, the whole thing goes from funny to annoying fairly fast.
>>
>>46363560
Dicks
>>
>>46363567
I see that cluster of hull id letters and my mind just goes into gibbering hell
aviation battleship
guided missile
nuclear boat
the fuck am I looking at
>>
>>46363619
>BelBatt
?
>>
>>46363590
It's in >>46363605
>>
>>46363564
and is/was contributing to the quest with nakatiems
>>
>>46363631
[VGS]
>>
>>46363554
1. Naka writes things that are integral to the story
2. Naka actually very closely works with Planefag on the story.
>>
>>46363605
Oh dear god.
Its written in Comic Sans
>>
>>46363527
Depends. You need some extra money? I sure don't, not sure about Perth, but you're welcome to try if you think you're hard enough. I'm sure that, either way, there someone who'll be interested in watching what's on that film.
>>
>>46363605
Holy shit
The admiral actually authorized it, and was all for it
Can we get this guy's attention, somehow?
In a nice way, that is.
>>
>>46363652
Video Game Syndrome?
Virtual Gay Sex?
The fuck does this mean?
>>
>>46363688
>>46363668
IIRC the admiral that authorized this (Yes it's official taxpayer dollars at work, best way to convince the Japanese that a nuke carrier ain't so bad) is retired, and is partly teaching at the Naval College.
>>
>>46363635
KC fanfic on SB/SV that is a fun read, and has characters/readers who very occasionally RP in KCQ threads.

Tonight however they went way beyond what they usually do.
>>
>>46363631
Retardation. I'll post some shit about it in the next thread.
>>
>>46363635
KC fanfic on SB. Features New Jersey and taffies.
>>
>>46363724
>Tonight however they went way beyond what they usually do.
Yeah, that was my bad. Got carried away, sorry.
>>
>>46363724
>>46363737
The fic itself is nice, as are some of the side stories, but good god the RPing is cancerous as fuck.
>>
>>46363688
>>46363724
>SB actually raiding 4chan to shitpost
The fucking irony
You can't make this shit up!
>>
>>46363499
>There is little more mortifying that re-reading your work and seeing things with hindsight.
Motherfucker, have you not suddenly wanted to kill yourself because you remembered something you did when you were younger? This is not a feeling unique to writers.

I reread SWQ when Planefag returned to get caught up and I still like it. It doesn't have as much to it as KCQ but it's still entertaining. Not getting closure to a story I like because the guy that wrote it is acting like an awkward 20 year old getting his "oh my fuck did I really do that five years ago?" cherry popped sucks ass.
>>
>>46363684
That's not even how she talks for fucks sake, can you even put forth a modicum of effort?
>>
>>46363631
Looks like a nuclear powered guided-missile (think tomohak/harpoon) aviation battleship.

I don't really understand the appeal, but some people are Frankenstein fetishists.
>>
>>46363760
It's not shitposting, RPing is considered content over there.

In fact, it's put into the same forum as Quests.
>>
>>46363759
>some of the side stories
I generally find the side stories about Arizona and Albacore to be better than the main story.

On the other hand, the canadian britboo's stories have become unreadable.
>>
>>46363789
No, I think this was shitposting, even by their/our standards.
>>
>>46363723
Huh.
So, if he's retired... I guess he can't add stuff to required reading material for forward-deployed USN units... or adding stuff to SHARP.

Like, for instance...
'DDs aren't for lewds'
>>