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/tg/ - Traditional Games

My trip almost spells cuck edition


This is a work of fiction. It doesn’t necessarily represent nor portray the state of the industry or the beliefs of the Author
Any reference to pre-existing work of fiction is to be considered entirely coincidental (Chinese cartoons are for losers anyway).

No character is speaking on the behalf of the author. Their moral considerations as well as their beliefs regarding the social, religious and political sphere are representative only of the characters themselves.

If you're presently crawling in your skin, or experiencing difficulties waking up, consider closing the browser, taking a walk outside, and drinking something warm.

I can’t promise you’ll have fun. I can promise however that I will try to make this fun. I am responsive to the audience and I will try accommodate most requests.

As usual we begin on the next post
“Alright, I am gonna stop you right there”, you erupt. “At this point everybody has betrayed everyone else at least once. The Mage cursed the King and made his son into a Traitor, the Traitor usurped the Crown, then made the Mage’s wife pregnant, then the King stabbed the Traitor in battle and imprisoned the Mage, finally the Mage resurrected the corpse of the Traitor and used it as a puppet. Now it’s a good time to tell us where you wanted to go with this story”.

The Knight takes a dramatic pause. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters!”, you explode in anger. “Those are 20 minutes of my life I will never, ever have back!”
“Now calm down, will you? Look. I will tell you the point of the story”

“That humans are evil and traitorous and the world is grim and other shit like that?”
“Of course not”.
This time it’s you who is taken aback. “Then what’s your point?”

“My point is: you don’t like my story. And you don’t like my story because I am narrating it”
“Yeah, so?”
“So I could have narrated a very nice story and you would have hated it anyway. Because it’s me telling it”

“Alright, and? I don’t have forever”
“I want to prove that the opposite is true as well. That is, certain people will first shoot the arrow and then draw the objective around it. If you’re looking for a land where the dead are not, you should look for a place that was designed to be that way, rather than one that happened to become that way”

It… it makes sense. It hurts to think of that, and the story charade was definitely avoidable. But at least you’ve got an hint out of it, and that should sort of make up for it.
You take a deep breath, then hang your head.
“I think I owe you an apology, Edge Knight. Thanks for your help”
“Shouldn’t the spelling be Hedge Knight?”
“Shut up, I know what I am saying” you turn to the Priest.” Priest. We need to think of places where stories are kept artificially long or purposefully on balance so that no real ending occurs. Options?”

The Priest scratches his chin.
“The major offenders in this field are shounen manga. Then harem comedies, as they tend not to have a resolution. You could consider some mecha series too, but at the end of the day I think it would be even more fruitful to investigate into children’s cartoon”
“I don’t understand, aren’t anime cartoons for little kids”

The Priest gives you a smug look. “Right, because Edge Knight right here is so family-friendly”
“Point taken, Priest. A good one too”, you say while nodding. “So children cartoons. Do they tend to run for a long period of time?”
“You could say that. They are without a doubt the longest-running series. Although I am not sure they’d crave death and release. The choice is yours”

>Visit the Children Section
>Visit the Harem Section
>Visit the Shounen Section
>>Visit the Shounen Section
>>Visit the Shounen Section
>>Visit the Shounen Section
Is this where we meet Goku?
Maybe you already have :^)

Jokes aside I am trying to avoid 1:1 copying already existing characters
“Alrighty then. I’ll take Shounen section for 2. That is me and you. Because we’re alone. Get it Priest?”
“Yes I get it. It was clear to me, you didn’t need to explain it”
“Very well. Now the question is, how do we get there?

“We take the metro”
“The metro is a clusterfuck. If you can navigate it it’s good for you but I don’t have the faintest idea how to move around with it”
“That’s ok, I know how to get there”, the Priest says, while standing up. “More importantly, Knight. Do you wish to accompany us?”

The knight shakes his head. “Those people wouldn’t understand me. They wouldn’t respect me as a warrior”, he explains stretching out his hand. “That’s because I am CONSUMED by the DARKNESS”, he finishes, making the outstretched hand into a fist.

“Riiiight. Well, it was a, huh, pleasure I guess? Let’s do this again another time”
You get up and nod at the Priest, as to imply that you’re ready to go.
The two of you wave at the host at the exit and then you head to the metro station.

According to what the Priest says, the trip to the Shounen Section takes roughly 3 hours.
“You either have an incredibly slow metro system, or this place is rather far”
“I guess the second is a more apt description of the situation. The Shounen Section is far from the center because it often involves supernatural powers and otherworldly creatures”.

“So the farther something is from the center, the more different it is from our world”
“Exactly. We think that the tranquil life of the Outers is a golden standard, which we try to mimic”
“And what does Shounen stand for again?”
“It’s the Rising Sun word for ‘Boys’. So it’s a section of this world which focuses on the power fantasies of boys, like having an immense strength or being the savior of the world”
“Let me guess: it also involves scantly clad boys and ear-splitting screams”
“…I can’t say you’re wrong”
“That sounds awfully homoerotic, to be honest”
“You’re far too quick to judge. I believe you would like most of the people you’d meet there, mostly because they’re designed to be good guys with a heart of gold”
“Well, that’s comforting”

The trip ahead looks fairly long. You can either
>talk with the Priest about this world more
>take a nap
>>talk with the Priest about this world more
>>talk with the Priest about this world more
What does naming someone actually DO?
Seconding. I wonder about this too.

“Priest, do you mind if I ask a couple of questions?”
“No, the trip is long. If I can clear something up for you, I’d be glad to do so”

“Well I was just wondering: what’s with you guys and names? Like, is there something that naming you does?”
“Hm… as I told you, a character is merely a combination of archetypes. The Outers are the ones who have the power to assign us a name, and when it fits our true nature, it is something truly amazing.
Ah, forgive me, probably I am not explaining myself properly. I will try to make an example.
Imagine something you cannot do: something like performing magic or solving a really hard equation”

“I am actually not that bad at maths”
“That’s besides the point. Let me finish. Now, If you saw someone doing something like that, you’d be amazed, right? Now imagine that someone performing their magic for you: it would be much more amazing, wouldn’t it?”
“That’s for sure”

“Naming is no different for us. We’re not capable of doing it, but we’re able to recognize when an assigned name is a good name, just like you’re not capable of magic, but you’re able to tell well done magic and poorly done magic apart”

“And have my names been fitting so far?”
“I’d say they’ve been perfect. Except for huh, the Princess accident”
“You could’ve helped me out there, you ass king of dick mountain”

“Oh but that was too funny. You see, you Outers have called the likes of Princess ‘traps’. I didn’t clearly understand why, since if they’re created ad hoc, they pose no real threat. I guess they are a threat to people who are not genre-savvy, though”

“So you just got a laugh at my expenses. That’s exactly what I call a win-win situation”
“Really? Doesn’t sound like one to me”
“it isn’t. I was being sarcastic”
“Well, have it your way. The point is that I was seeing naming magic at work (not yours), and that was fairly amazing. In my decision not to tell you anything there was more scientific curiosity than the desire to see you humiliated”

You nod in understanding, and before you ask for anything else, the speakers in the metro share the following message:

“Attention please. The metro service to the Shounen Sector will be temporarily suspended until midnight. We apologize for the inconvenience”.

“FUCK!”, is the first thing you think, and for that matter, say out loud as well.
The passengers around you are giving you dirty looks, and the Priest seems fairly disappointed.
“What do we do, Priest?”
“The choice is up to you. We can check this sector out, or we can get the Metro back to the holy city”

>I have no desire to stay here, let’s go back
>Fuck it, might as well take a trip
>>Fuck it, might as well take a trip
>>Fuck it, might as well take a trip
I've seen some shonen anime in my world so I know it'll be worthwhile getting some of these guys on our side. Also helps that they're literal personifications of the best possible good guy.
Wait are we still in the same sector we started in or are we somewhere else?

I don't think we're in the Shounen sector yet, since the train was suspended.
>all these new players


You're somewhere midway between the Holy City and the Shounen Sector. Expect things to go accordingly.
Oh, well I have no idea what that would even look like, but I'm willing to find out.
>Fuck it, might as well take a trip

“Might as well take a trip. Let’s get off, Priest”
You reach the next stop and, together with everybody else, you get off from the train.
“So, Priest, where are we?”
“Somewhere in between the Shounen area and the Holy City, albeit I think we’re closer to the latter than to the former, meaning we shouldn’t see anything otherworldly yet”

Getting out of the station, what strikes you is how ordinary your surroundings are.
“Ah, we’re in the Holy City again?”
“Well not exactly. Do you not notice anything out of place?”

You try to look at your surroundings harder. The people here… look younger.
It seems there are mostly kids to young adults around you. Must be a matter of catering to the demographic.

“A lot of young folks around. I wonder why’s that?”
“Shounen protagonists are often no older than 17 and yet are as built as people who’ve trained for 15 years at the very least. These people *look* young too”.

A group of children runs past you. It seems they’re headed to a football field.
As your stroll continues, you notice that there are a lot of sport facilities around.

Basketball fields, Volley arenas, even swimming pools.
“Reminds me I should get back in shape when I go back home”, you think to yourself.
“Training would be pointless. You would never reach these guys’ level”

“You’re not really helping, Priest. What was that supposed to mean?”
“As you know, I say nothing but the truth”
“I am going to need more than that to be convinced”

“Use your brain, Outer. We’re in between Shounen Sector and the Holy City. What this means is that we’re in the sports anime section”
“Sports… anime?”

”They’re more common than you think, Outer. Although some of them tend to be… not exactly realistic”
“As in?”
“Would you perchance like a demonstration?”
“Sure, what did you have in mind?”
“Pick a stadium. Any one of them, and we’ll see a match being played there”
“And we won’t need tickets or anything like that?”

“Of course not. Every sport competition here is open to everyone but world-tier competitive at the same time. It’s almost endearing”
You don’t have a whole lot to do, and you must wait until midnight anyway.
What would you like to watch?

>Football (Soccer)
Time to dempsey roll.
>Football (Soccer)
Let's see some Super Mario Strikers type of play.
I stand corrected.
Yeah you can pretty much pick whichever sport you want, I will accommodate most requests as I said.
Traditionally in boxing shounen doesn't the protagonist die at the end? That could be something.
Allright, now we are talking!

Fuck yeah

So should I go for boxing?
No, I think racing won.
“What about boxing?”
“Eh? Boxing?”
“Yeah, you know, that sport in which you punch your enemy until you win”

“I am not an expert on that”
“Me neither but hey, if these people really are overpowered as you say, it could make for a fun watch”
“You know what? You’re not wrong. In fact it’s a lot safer too”

“Safer? in what way?”
“Well, the balls kicked and thrown around here easily reach mach 3, making them deadly stray bullets for bystanders. It’s not to exclude that you might die by simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time”

“Fuck. Why is this shit allowed?”
The priest shrugs. “Nobody cares for extras. Although it’s not something that occurs as often as you might think”

The Priest seems to know his way, leading you expertly across narrow alleys and large boulevards.
“How do they get so strong? Are superpowers involved?”
“Hardly, to be fair. Sometimes it’s just the way you Outers stress how powerful a character is”

“That’s taking it a bit too far. But enough talking. Are we there yet?”
The Priest nods. You’re standing in front of a small building, loud cheers coming from the inside.
“Let’s go then”

A tall metal door leads to a dimly lit room, with a ring in the center of it. Around it, stalls for the audience.
“Do you prefer to sit in the front rows or in the top rows?”
“Top ones, please. for a mere matter of safety.”

“No such thing as too much caution, huh?”
You take your spot in a row that is basically empty. Indeed, the stadium itself is rather empty.
The announcer calls the name of the two boxers, and reflecting the inability of the characters of this world to come up with names, they’re just called “loser” and “winner”

“Talk about jinxing it”, you say snorting.
The match is nothing short of brutal. Many of those hits would likely take out a human, or at the very least turn him into a vegetable.
A Thud. The everything goes dark.
When you come to, you’re laying in a bed in the hospital.
A couple of boys is looking over you, together with the Priest.
Your head aches terribly.

“Ugh… what happened?”
“A stray ball hit you in your head”
“Talk about luck”. The sorry expression on the boys’ face is telltale.

You have to gather your wits and say something

>Who won the match?
>What time is it?
>[to the boys] It’s ok to be gay
>>Who won the match?
>>What time is it?
Well then.
>Who won the match?
I put my money on Loser.
>Who won the match?
>What time is it?

“Ugh… who won the match?”, you ask faintly.
“Really? You’ve been knocked the fuck out and that’s what you ask?”
“I am a responsible adult who’s got his priorities straight. Who won?”

“Winner won. Loser died because of the injuries sustained”
“That’s fucking awful”
“The Winner died too. Brain hemorrhage”

“Jesus Christ”
“Nothing unusual. People had fun. We should do this more often”
“No we shouldn’t. What time is it?”

“It’s 20 past eleven pm. I think we should get going as soon as you can”
“I have been out for like what, 12 hours?”
“Yeah. If you feel hungry or thirsty we can stop at the hospital’s cafeteria”

“That we’ll definitely do”. You get off the bed and try to stand up and walk on your own.
You feel dizzy, but nothing more than that. “What did the doctor say? Do I have brain damage?”
“No, you were lucky, It was just kids training. If it were the real thing you’d be dead”
“I have the sudden urge to get the fuck out of this place”

Stumbling through the hallways and down the stairs, you meet the doctor who took care of you, sign some papers and are promptly dismissed. After grabbing something for your aching stomach at the cafeteria, you head for the metro station

“It sure got dark fast here”
“What did you think, that the sun would wait for you to return to your senses before setting?”
“Given I am a God I was expecting at least some special consideration”

“Right. In any case, we’re almost at the stop. There are two routes we can take, one crosses through psychological anime and another proceeds through coming of age stories. I think it’s safe to assume we’ll meet less weirdoes by taking the latter route”

“I perfectly agree. I don’t want to meet the ‘too deep for you’ folks, if you don’t mind”
The trip goes smoothly. People around you are gossiping about the reason behind the closure of the line to the Shounen Sector.
Rumor has it that a huge fight ensued between two powerful warriors, which resulted in the destruction of most of the metro line. What is baffling to you however is the incredible speed at which everything was rebuilt

“Nothing new in the Shounen Area. Things get destroyed with an astounding ease, and thus, are rebuilt with the same ease. People who live here just get used to it”, the Priest explained.

“Shounen Central. This is the end of the line”: by the time the speakers have uttered these words, you and the Priest are the last men in the train.
Not just that: it looks like you’re the only people in the Station too.

“Priest… I have a bad feeling about it”
“Me too, Outer. Me too”
You head for the stairs that lead to the exit. Standing there is a man who can only be fittingly described as ridiculous.

Standing in a ridiculous pose, wearing ridiculous clothes, his hairstyle not only ridiculous but even physics-defying, ridiculously muscular and with a ridiculous over-dramatic look on his face.
He looks at you with an air of superiority.

“No need to scream buddy, I am a couple of meters away from you”
“I am telling you, don’t scream. There’s just the three of us in this station”

He gives you another overly dramatic look, then kneels covering his face with his right hand
“Outer, you’ve made it so far despite all the difficulties in your road”
“I just had to take the metro”

He stands up, his right arm raised high and his index pointing at the sky
“You’re not done yet! To fulfill the prophecy, you must bring a warrior whose heart is pure with you”
Putting on the smuggest look you can muster, you stare right at the ridiculous guy.

“Oh really? Talk about coincidences. I know just the guy”

Part of the prophecy has finally been revealed!
Will our MC be able to enlist the help of the Warrior?
What trials await him in the future?

This, and much less, in the next episode of Saving Anime Quest!

Also apologies for running a shorter thread. I wanted to do something before going on a break, and I thought a filler episode would be better than nothing.

See you guys soon!
My twitter: https://twitter.com/LorN94
It isn't.
We're just in the shonen arc.

You decided not to go for mechas boys.
Would have we met proto-Evangelion character archetypes if we did?
No, I was making a joke of how most shonen animes have a fuckton of filler.

Still wished we had gone to mecha to get this badass
A human falls into anime world.

Unable to find his way around town, he's gifted by a Dea ex machina with the help of a Priest.
Never minding how strange this is, he lets himself get dragged into a quest to save the entire anime world.

But the next day, when the Priest proposes to visit the Mecha sector, he discovers he's in more than he signed up for.
After some investigation, it turns out they got off at the wrong station and are now stuck in the psychological mecha subsection.
In fact, not mecha at all and pretty much entirely psychological.

Hijinks ensue as the dynamic duo strikes up an agreement to help each other deal with resurfacing adolescence crises, tackle inferiority complexes and disclose dark secrets burdening their past.

While the two masturbate over their presumed deceased colleague, the apocalypse ensues as they realize they need to get the fuck out of there really really fast instead and begin questioning the NATURE of MECHAS

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