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>Archive links:
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. In an ideal universe, you'd be a short, sturdy (and bearded) creature fond of drink and industry, running your own fortresses and basing their economies around increasingly inventive ways to murder anything and anyone that moves.

Instead, you live in Gamindustri, so you're a cute little girl. Right now, you're trapped in the body of a cute bikini-clad goddess, one that doesn't even have the decency to have night vision or crippling alcoholism. There really is no justice in the universe.

... though honestly, you really can't complain, can you? Not when you've got a glitching giant cave spider pinned to the cavern floor, CPU Purple Heart's ridiculous divine sword punching through void-hardened chitin and stone with disturbing ease.

Used to be that you couldn't even touch any of the damn spiders in melee; they'd just vomit webs at you and inject neurotoxins directly into your fucking head while you were sprawled out against the ground. And here you are, one leg propped up on the spider's body, with your boot grinding against the ruins of its head like it's no big deal.

Combat's a hell of a lot easier when you've got the power of flight, and when you've got another goddess of all things Sega (among other people) giving you backup, isn't it?

"Whew... everyone okay?" Mojang slides off her ledge and hits the ground jogging, not putting away her bow or arrows. As usual, she briefly glances toward Neptune (in your body) before blushing and turning to address you (in Neptune's body). Force of habit, you suppose. "Oneechan, that should be enough, right?"

(Cont.)
>>
>>46168228
Should be. You twist the sword again, just to make sure, before prodding the damn spider with your toe. Despite the grievous sword-inflicted wounds, the arrows sticking out from the monster's ruined eyes, and even the odd crossbow bolt feathering its abdomen, the giant cave spider is /still/ twitching, fitfully trying to regenerate.

... jeez. Void corruption's a hell of a drug.

The long-haired Mini-Nep- the yin to Neptune's yang, you suppose- lands a moment later and copies you step-by-step, stabbing the spider with her own gunblade before prodding it with her foot. Apparently, that's the straw that breaks the camel's back; the monster gives a truly horrible death rattle before giving up the ghost, stiffening legs curling in toward its stomach. "Is... is this normal?" Mini-Nep asks, looking considerably grossed out. "I mean, do these kinds of monsters always come out in caves?"

"Only Oneechan's caves!" Mojang replies, giving her a reassuring(?) smile. "But don't worry, we'll be just fine if we stay on our guard!"

"Exactly! And besides-" Neptune pauses to take a long draft from your flask of booze, slaking her (your) dwarven body's never-ending thirst. Under any other circumstances, you'd be distinctly worried to see a goddess hitting the bottle so hard, but right now, you're just green-eyed jealous. "- that's our token boss battle for this visit. We won't see another one until after we leave the cavern. I guarantee it!"

... Mojang averts her eyes. You quickly pull the silk webs back up over Neptune's shoulder, before giving up and just hurling more stray webs onto her body. The moment you get up there, you're shoving her dumb ass into a set of good armor, and that's that.

"Don't worry, don't worry! I'm sure a whole bunch of mysterious light beams'll cover up any wardrobe malfunctions, so-"

That is NOT reassuring, goddammit!

(Cont.)
>>
>>46168250
Before too long- and before you lose any more sanity- Mojang and Neptune continue mining out the rest of the Seganium, while you and Mini-Nep patrol from the air. You /need/ that damn ore out as soon as possible, which is- in turn- because you want your body back as fast as possible.

You frown thoughtfully, trying to spot any movement among the underground trees and colorful mosses. Other than the rapidly-disappearing spider corpse (which is weird, in and of itself), there's literally nothing else around. Since it /seems/ safe, you could spend some time poking around; there's that breach to the next level, for one thing. For another, there's the matter of your missing party member.

Come to think of it, you were honestly surprised that Doomgirl wasn't the cause of all those explosions earlier; you didn't spot her in the fortress's upper levels, and you sure as hell don't see her down /here/. Not yet, at least. If Therapist wasn't all but unusable, you could just ping for Doomgirl's location. As it is, you've got too much weird static-y interference going on, probably due to this whole body-switching thing and because your abilities weren't meant to be used from the /outside/ of your body.

(Cont.)
>>
>>46168273
On the other OTHER hand, she's a big girl, and she's more than capable of taking care of herself, despite her rampant insanity. Maybe you ought to pay more attention to your /other/ surrogate little sister, Mini-Nep- or just, y'know, postpone all this idle chitchat until /after/ you get your own body back.

[ ] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on. (TIMESKIP)
[ ] [INSPECT THE SPIDER'S BODY] for clues before it disappears completely. Maybe there's something in there that can give you clues about how to prevent this whole void corruption thing from seeping into your caverns.
[ ] [INSPECT THE CAVERNS] Take a closer look at your surroundings. Might as well see what the breach down to the second cavern level looks like, or try and find that bird-man fluttering around your fort. Also, Doomgirl's been missing for a while, huh?
[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>46168298
>[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
Talk to Nepgear, talk about forging
>>
>>46168298
>[X] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
Hey, Mojang, where's Doomgirl?
>[X] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on. (TIMESKIP)
Soon, the Great Forging will occur! We'll have Mini-Nep do it to cement a connection to Planeptune and level up her forging skills with some good ol' pointers!
>>
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>>46168298
>[ ] [INSPECT THE SPIDER'S BODY] for clues before it disappears completely. Maybe there's something in there that can give you clues about how to prevent this whole void corruption thing from seeping into your caverns.
>[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
It's finally arrived!
>>
>>46168298
>[x] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on. (TIMESKIP)
>>
>>46168298
>[ ] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on. (TIMESKIP)
>>
>>46168298
>[ ] [INSPECT THE SPIDER'S BODY] for clues before it disappears completely. Maybe there's something in there that can give you clues about how to prevent this whole void corruption thing from seeping into your caverns.
>[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
We can show Gear how to properly smith Seganium, we should actually think about just threading what we have now if it takes as long as Adamantine does
>>
>>46168298
>[X] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
Seconding the forging with Nepgear
>>
>>46168298
>[ ] [INSPECT THE SPIDER'S BODY] for clues before it disappears completely. Maybe there's something in there that can give you clues about how to prevent this whole void corruption thing from seeping into your caverns.

While you and Mini Nep do that, the others can

>[ ] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on.

Ah, the best start into a new day. Dwar Fortress Quest.

Interestingly, we are a Dwarf in a Fortress in space..... anybody who wants to build a Wartrain?
>>
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>>46168298
What a time to be alive.
>[ ] [INSPECT THE SPIDER'S BODY] for clues before it disappears completely. Maybe there's something in there that can give you clues about how to prevent this whole void corruption thing from seeping into your caverns.

Loot it! If Nep says its a token boss fight, it had to have dropped something.
>>
Brothers of the mine, rejoice!

>>46168298
>[CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES]
Social Link go!
>>
[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
>>
> [ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
>>
>Hyperdimension Dwarf Fortress Quest 69
>Dwarf Fortress Quest 69
>Quest 69
>69

So is it safe to assume Lesbians are gonna happen?
>>
>>46169475
NOT FOR LEWDS
>>
>>46169475
lesbians happened the moment Urist got felt up by Estelle and Rokko.
>>
>>46169500
STFU YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT
>>
>>46169508
That's lewds, not lesbians. Besides, everyone knows Urist is only attracted to caves.[\spoiler]
>>
>>46169475
NO
>>
>>46169475
Nah, i think not.

But then again I thought that the Malice pairing would die out or that the tomb kings wouldn't get squatted so my reasoning maybe not compatible with the average anon.
>>
>>46168298
[START PACKING SEGANIUM]
>>
>>46169600

I thought Sigmarines would never be a thing and look what happened.
>>
>>46169640
I'm sure we all thought that, anon...
>>
>>46169663
>>46169640

We underestimated GW's idiocy.

We should have known better.
>>
>>46169640
Well, at least the Stormys fluff is different from the space marienes.
>>
>>46169663
>>46169640

At least we can make some pretty sweet Custodians. All we have to do is swallow our pride.

But, then again. What pride do we have left?
>>
>>46169733
Not by much.
>>
>>46169740
Thankfully I'm broke as fuck so the choice was made for me. I just enjoy myself with cheaper hobbies now. You know, like gambling, or sailing, or amateur space-faring.
>>
>>46169764
On the one side Supersoldiers by way of implanting children with enhancements and rigorous training and not much of social skills with certain exceptions.

On the other side Supersoldiers by way of rescuing heroes and other worthy beings from certain death and improving them with divine power and divinly forged armor who will just be reforged when they die in exchange for memory and personality loss. Also, no Gender restriction for the latter on.

I see a big difference.
>>
>>46169785

>You know, like gambling, or sailing, or amateur space-faring.

I'll admit it, I had a giggle.
>>
>>46169850

Fuckhuge Pauldrons.
>>
>>46168298
[ ] [START PACKING SEGANIUM] Seriously, you and Mini-Nep aren't doing anything right now; since Mojang has limited inventory space and Neptune doesn't know how to access yours, you might as well get a move on. (TIMESKIP)
>>
> [ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.
>>
[SEGANIUM]
>>
Hey Blorp, a minor request: Could you give a notice when you stop taking votes and start writing, like some quest authors do? It'd help a lot when there's a long gap like this so we know when to stop voting and that you're making progress.
>>
>>46170390
He almost always announces the winner and says he's writing.

I suspect he may have been eaten by a grue.
>>
>>46170415
Shoganai.
>>
>>46170415
There are no grue in Dwarf Fortress. Clearly he forgot to bring a companion with him and is currently having his lower right arm torn asunder by a boogyman.

And yeah, thinking back I guess he usually does let us know. Sorry, Blorp!
>>
>>46170415
Well, that is still better than falling through an endless hole in the dark of an attic... where there are none when you have light.
>>
>[ ] [CHAT UP YOUR ALLIES] Might as well keep an eye on Neptune's progress, and see if Mojang or Mini-Nep have any thoughts about whatever it is that's going on.

also greetings from autralia
>>
Blorp forgot to equip training memes for his keyboard, didn't he.
>>
Seganium, we want our body back. Now.
>>
>>46170551
I think someone accidentally turned off his labor for Quest Writing.
>Blorp No Job
>>
>>46168298
>[X] [CHAT UP ALLIES]
>[X] [AND BY "ALLIES" WE MEAN "NEPGEAR," AND BY "CHAT" WE MEAN "NERDY FORGING TALK"]

For a moment, you eye the disintegrating spider corpse. It's not a very pretty process: the spidery bits sort of melt into a uniform sludge, and the sludge evaporates into a quickly-fading mist. Even then, you're almost tempted to go elbows-deep into the gory mess and root around for clues or usable bits.

Almost, but not quite. See, barring unfortunate skin contact with any forgotten beast extracts, dwarves are capable of breaking monster corpses down to the component parts /without/ poisoning themselves. While that also applies to the vast majority of adventurers, you really don't know how looting works for goddesses.

Sure, maybe you're being overly cautious; maybe CPU Purple Heart routinely pulls out perfectly usable manufactured medicines from dead dogoos. When you're this close to getting your own body back, you're not gonna take any unnecessary risks or-

A soft voice suddenly whispers, almost right up next to your ear. "Oneechan?"

-gyahfuckingHELL-

Sure, your goddess instincts are perfectly suited to letting you fly, but /you've/ got zero practice, especially under duress; Mini-Nep squeaks, fluttering back a little as you do a startled half-tumble through the air. "S-Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to surprise you like that! I mean... if you don't want me calling you that, that's fine-"

NNNnno, no, no, that's okay! It's- she just surprised you a little! In general. That's all. You glance aside, running a hand down your face. Also, personal space IS a thing, just so she knows.

Mini-Nep tilts her head, blinking all too innocently. "Is that so?"

You right yourself quickly, glancing around to check that no one else caught you flipping out- aaand you're safe. Neptune's focused on mining, whistling cheerfully and swinging her pickaxe in a disgustingly cute manner, and Mojang's grinning goofily as she points her phone's camera at Nep-

(Cont.)
>>
>>46170598
... Armok save you.

"Oneechan?"

With a truly herculean effort, you push the defiling of your image to the back of your mind, and turn your attention back to Mini-Nep. She looks a little nervous for some reason, and- are her hands balled up into little fists of determination?

"I've decided on my name!" she presses on. "I-I think I'd like to be called, um, Nepgear, if that's, you know, not too much trouble or anything..."

You mull this over for a moment. Nepgear... Nepolon? Or, well, if you mix in the human meaning of "Nepe," that'd go straight to Brightgear- but no, by that logic, Nepe-tunem would mean Brightape, and you'd never be able to take Neptune seriously ever again, holy fucking shit-

"O... Oneechan...?" Mini- er, Nepolon- er, Nepgear pokes her fingers together, looking up at you bashfully. "It doesn't sound weird, does it? Or do you think Oneecha- er, Neptune will mind me copying her naming scheme...?"

No, no, it's a good name! It's a solid, almost dwarven name, and that's really all you can ask for. Besides... you snort, rolling your eyes. You seriously doubt Neptune would mind; she already calls the little goddess "Nep Jr." anyway. Hell, you bet she'll be tickled pink by the tribute.

"Whew..." The newly christened Nepgear sags in place, unwinding some of that nervous tension you've always associated with her. "Thank goodness! That's a motherfucking load off my mind!"

... it's weird listening to a sweet-voiced, innocent girl talking like a proper dwarf, but you sure as hell aren't complaining.

You blink. Speaking of proper dwarf-like activities... why'd Nepgear start using that little mini-forge you had lying around, anyway?

"Um... I'm not sure." Nepgear clasps a hand over her heart, frowning slightly. "It just caught my eye... I guess? Before I knew it, I started melting little chunks down and making them into something else, and... a-ah, that was okay, right?"

(Cont.)
>>
>>46170598
Oh good, he beat the boogymen.
>>
>>46170617
Hmm. You shoot a glance down to your other two allies before immediately regretting it and looking back to Nepgear. Why not tell her the ins and outs of forging stuff? Hell, it's not like you two have anything better to do.

... and it'll distract you from how Mojang is recording Neptune singing that thrice-damned hi-ho song, but you keep that to yourself.

"R... really?" Nepgear breathes, leaning forward. "That would be wonderful!"

A smile quirks at the corners of your lips. Y'know? You... you kind of missed this. It reminds you of when Mojang was younger, and asked you all sorts of questions about your chosen lifestyle (as dwarven hobo, but never you mind that).

Floating up near the cavern ceiling, you quietly chat up Nepgear and teaching her the finer points of forging. There's the importance of fuel, the ins and outs of melting down metal objects, practicing by making shitty wares, and then melting /those/ down to save materials and raise skills.

You're almost about to launch into a quick rundown of why magma is both a dwarf's greatest ally and her worst enemy, all rolled into one deadly package, when Mojang calls out and tells you they're done.

"Yeppers! Pure 100% Seganium!" Neptune thrusts her (your) chest out proudly as Nepgear hefts the ore with sparkling eyes. "This is our country's legacy, Nep Jr.! All our weapons are of the stuff, which is great 'cause it'll never ever break!"

"Whoa..." Nepgear doesn't even think to correct her older sister about her name, she's so taken in by the stone in her hands. Every single chunk of Seganium is such a dark blue that they almost border on black, with the occasional white highlight streaking through.

They don't look /bad/, you'll admit, but maybe the goddesses of all things Sega see them differently.

(Cont.)
>>
>>46170647
"That's everything!" Mojang saunters up to you, her hoodies' pockets crammed absolutely full of the stuff. Acting on long agreed-upon habits, you split the burden and pull half the Seganium from her pockets, shoving them into your own inventory. "Once we get back, you'll be home-free!"

"Mm. Let's, um, maybe go before we get jumped by another monster?" Nepgear murmurs, finally looking up from the ore.

"Aww, c'mon, I'm telling you!" Neptune pouts. "We're through with boss fights for now. That's how random encounters work out here, don't they?"

... well, to be honest, almost /every/ fight has the potential to be a boss-ending fight when it comes to your own game, but you keep that to yourself.

Once you pass back through to your fortress, two simple cobblestone blocks (courtesy of Mojang) are all it takes to seal off Hyperdimension (the fort, not the void) from the caverns. And then it's a straight walk back to your storeroom-slash-meeting area.

Honestly, between your allies' disturbing ability to punch through stone with explosives AND the void-corrupted monsters, you should probably put in some actual /defenses/ between your fort and the caverns. Well, that's just one more thing on your I'm-a-dwarf-again to do list-

- and your train of thought immediately derails when you reach the storeroom and emerge in a fucking Cold War.

In one corner, Tiff stands tall and proud in her engineer's garb, a determined set to her jaw. You don't see any trace of restraints on the Team Fortress's person; on the other hand, you don't particularly feel like pointing this out or trying to correct this, on account of the gleaming gun emplacements stacked all around her. The machines' muzzles slowly sweep the surrounding area, intricate gears (or whatever) turning audibly.

(Cont.)
>>
>>46170647
I need Urist to teach me how to do metals. I've never gotten a fortress to the point where I was able to try smelting ore.
>>
>>46170675
In the other corner, there are honest-to-Armok watchtowers cluttering up the place. These are much less uniform in appearance; some are classic stone towers or chilled necropolises, others are rickety wooden structures reinforced with metal and spikes, and you swear that there are a few living /trees/ mixed in, their gnarled branch-hands clutching oversized rocks. Thravar sits against the wall, knees up against her chest and pauldrons clattering as the Warcrafter shakes in either fear or suppressed rage.

Sitting at a point equidistant from both cold war combatants, Blanc is responsibly using her powers by using a divine conduit of pure heavenly energies as a reading lamp. As you approach, the shorter goddess turns another page in her book (you're pretty sure it's "Is It The Dwarf?", a 248-page treatise chronicling the author's struggles over writing a 1-page autobiography).

"Welcome back," Blanc deadpans, not looking up. "Don't worry. I have this under control."

... looking at the lack of combat damage, you can just about believe it.

"Blanc! Blanc! Look!" Neptune chortles, holding out big gobs of Seganium. "Doesn't this bring back nostalgic memories for you too~?"

"Mm. They do. Please keep those away from me," Blanc deadpans, narrowing her eyes. "Otherwise I will commission Urist to dig out as much Nintendium as physically possible."

"Eeeh~? Urist won't do something like that! Would you?" The goddess of all things Sega holds her hands against her chest and bats her eyes at you pleadingly.

Uuhghh. You know, that just makes you want to do that /more/-

"Please, Oneechan?" Nepgear adds, copying her legitimate older sister and giving you puppy dog eyes.

... okay, that's just not fucking fair, and she knows it.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>46170720
"Boo~," Neptune frowns. "I can't help but feel that there's a little discrimination going on here. But at least Nep Jr.'s a chip off the old rock!"

"I taught her that," Mojang says sweetly, walking past Neptune and dumping Seganium into a pile.

"Oh, that's not fair!!" the goddess wails, squeezing her eyes shut.

You take that back. Please don't drag you into this.

[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
[ ] [OKAY, SERIOUSLY?] See exactly what's going on with Tiff and Thravar, because being between two sets of overwhelming firepower does not fill you with confidence.
[ ] [ASK BLANC] about void corruption. Also, check and see if she's got any advice vis-a-vis the soul-swapping procedure you're about to undergo.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>46170743
>[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
>>
>>46170743
[LET THE SHOW BEGIN]
>>
>>46170743
>[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
If no one is dying then it's time for dorfs to dorfs again.
>>
>>46170743
>[X] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
>>
>>46170743
>[x] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
Priorities! Everything else can wait AFTER we've been un-Neptunized.
>>
>>46170743
>[X] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
Brightgear! I mean, uhm, Nepolon! No, wait, shit, Nepgear, yeah, that's it's! Let's get our, primarily your, smith on!
>>
>[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
>>
>>46170743
>"I taught her that."
Oh my gosh Mojang are you for real right now

>[Okay, Seriously?]
followed by
>[Ask Blanc]

Let's make sure no one's going to kill anyone, then make sure we do this right.
>>
>>46170743
>[LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!
>>
>>46170822
Blanc can handle it.
>>
>>46170647
>Neptune's focused on mining, whistling cheerfully and swinging her pickaxe in a disgustingly cute manner, and Mojang's grinning goofily as she points her phone's camera at Nep-
>... and it'll distract you from how Mojang is recording Neptune singing that thrice-damned hi-ho song, but you keep that to yourself.
How horrifying.
>>
>>46170743
[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!

Body first, then we can worry about this shit

I forgot who Thravar is, someone help me out here
>>
>>46170390
>>46170415
>>46170515
OKAY WOW that was my bad; I normally try to post notices that the vote's over and I started writing, but this time, I decided to put it off until the votes were clearer and then /never got back to doing it/.

Apologies, guys! I'm drifting in an out a little, but I'll try to step up the pace a little for the next one or two posts. After that, I may need to call it earlier(?) than usual.

Otherwise all my posts will just be more of me typing words forever, until every update is a 20,000 character monstrosity about Urist analyzing her own navel.
>>
>>46170853

A Niggeorc
>>
>>46170743
>[ ] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN] Right, stuff all that Seganium into a big ugly chunk and get your fucking body back, because it's about time!

We need our body back and then we can probably locate Doomgirl while finding out why we have a "Semi TD PVP" here.

>>46170647
>that thrice-damned hi-ho song

"Hi-ho Hi-ho, its of hell we go..."
>>
>>46170863
Copy-Doppy that Blorporunie.
>>
>>46170863
>20,000 character monstrosity about Urist analyzing her own navel.

I'd read it
>>
>>46170888
anon : 99% Neptunized
>>
>>46170617
>Nepgear
>not Nepolon

ONE FUCKING JOB
>>
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>>46170938
>>46170888
>>
Okay, looks like LET THE SHOW BEGIN basically sweeps the vote, so- writing!

Good god, how many threads has it been since Urist and Neptune swapped bodies and all stemming off of one ad-libbed update about Neptune's mind ending up in Urist's head?
>>
>>46170994
Teehee.

How weird out is Nepgear going to after everything is abck yo normal?
She's never known anything else.
>>
>>46170952
Can't tell if irony, but on the off chance it isn't: Calm down.

I wanted Thraviar to have Draenei facetantacles but she apparently has non and I am not complaining since Blorp is a capable QM.
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>>46170938
>>
oi blorp how long till wasteland chan a freelancer from red harts days would be really interesting
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>>46171129
Too late. Pretty sure Fallout is among the Ascended.
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>>46171153
>>46171129

I just horribly misconstrued that, didn't I?
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>>46171179
yep
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>>46171205
...Kill me please.
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>>46171231
no you will stew in your own stupidity
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>>46171025
It's mostly just me going "God dammit I know we we should've named her when we had the chance. " than anything else.
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>>46171271

I won't call it a grave.

It is the path I chose.
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>>46171281
Ah it's fine, gears are plenty dorfy.
>>
Blorp. Wake up.

Blorp.
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>>46171596
He just posted a few seconds ago, at least in Blorp Time. There's no point in worrying until more than an hour has past.
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>>46171560
Yes, but I had a whole bunch of Nepoopen/ CA stuff ready to go, and now it'll seem like I'm just forcing it.

Well, more than it is currently, I mean.
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>>46171596
I know some of you are inpatient and want a Quest thread go forward in a span of minutes.

But that isn't blorp style. Blorp needs time. And apparently he doesn't feel so well today. I have rather less Quest threads, but continually, than having the QM burn out from trying to do too much.
>>
How neppy will Nep be when she is back in her nep body?
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>>46171761
If he wants more time between update he'd probably be better off switching to a forum format than using 4chan.
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>>46171761
This. You can't spell "Blorp" without " o p", and OP will surely deliver. Why not pull up Dwarf Fortress and start a character on adventure mode while you wait?
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>>46171790
There is only one possibly value for Nep, and it's MAXIMUM.
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>>46171790
The better question is how neppy will WE be when back in our own body.
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>>46171790
I imagine going from incredibly drunk to completely sober in an instant would be disorienting enough even without the body swapping.

Plus don't forget she'll have her human mind in her CPU body, which may prove interesting as well. We still need to find out what put her in a coma in the first place.
>>
>>46171796
But how then will we call each other niggers and insult ourselves with macro images?
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>>46171849
This, you literally cannot go wrong with harassing people with pics of smug anime girls
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>>46171849
>>46171892
Neither of you actually posted an image. Hypocrites.
>>
I think Blorp Jiggied his Shimmy to sleepy-mode.
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>>46171941
I don'the need to, you already see it in your mind's eye.
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>>46171941
are ya fuckin happy now
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>>46171964
Silly anon, you can't post small horse images here.
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>>46171941
But we could if we wanted to.

That's freedom.
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>>46172013

Datsa gud 'un.
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>>46172028
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>>46172028
How about cute things in Gamindustry.
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>>46171942
Quick! Post adorable things that could be in dwarf fortress!

For realsies this time!
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>>46171942
>Blorp, Questrunner cancels Write: Too Tired

>He was Embarrassed by falling asleep lately. He was Reassured by the encouragement of his fans lately.
>>
On the topic of smug anime girls, do you find it amusing that sometimes they come from horrible hentai where they get violated in brĂ¼tal ways
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>>46172067
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>>46172061
>Urist's waking nightmare
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>>46172076
that makes it even better desu
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>>46172067
>>
>>46172067
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>>46171941
There, you happy now?
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>>46172164
>[BUTCHERY LABOR ENABLING INTENSIFIES]

I still hope Moru shoes up again while we're distracted and we get her halfway to the butcher's shop before someone stops us. Just to see her panic a bit.
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>>46172076
In that dark part of my soul where I wish every waking moment that the Sun would just explode immediately, burning this world and everything humanity is, was or ever will be away, leaving nothing but charred rock floating through the void.

Blorrp please come back you quiet the madness.
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>>46172263
>>
>>46170743
>[X] [LET THE SHOW BEGIN!]

Y'know, you really, really should be more worried about the sheer amount of firepower on display in the heart of your fortress. Hell, you don't even know if /this/ was what breached the second cavern layer, or if this is a small sampling that will "just" turn all your walls into Swiss cheese and render your fortress as watertight as sniper fortifications.

... right now, you can't even bring yourself to care one fucking bit. Not when your long sought-after goal is finally, /finally/ in sight.

Ignoring Thravar and Tiff, you saunter through the theoretical line of fire and give Blanc a wave. Thanks for holding down the fort. We'll be back once this is done, okay?

"I've spent my entire life shepherding an entire nation of adventurers and beating common sense into their thick skulls," Blanc replies calmly. "Dealing with these two is basically a vacation."

She holds up a hand and finally meets your gaze. Deep within CPU White Heart's eyes, you swear you can see a glowing ember, flickering red inside the divine sigil serving as her pupil. "I'll hold up my end of the deal as long as you hold up yours."

R... right. You shake off your disquiet, and nod your agreement; seriously, all you'll probably have to do is point CPU White Heart (and the other goddesses, too) toward Arfoire's hiding spot in the void. There's nothing to be worried about.

Well, aside from /all the other things/ you need to worry about. Like everything that comes from your existence as Dwarf Fortress, and the fact that your only fortress currently resides in the least stable part of the universe.

Scratch that, you have /everything/ to be worried about, so you just, y'know, focus on the one thing that you can cross off your list.

"Aww, already? And I was just starting to get used to your body!" Neptune laughs, half-jokingly putting one hand on her hip and one behind her head and hamming it up. "C'mon, you ARE a real cutie if you-"

(Cont.)
>>
>>46172295
The next three minutes pass quickly, as you spend them ~half-jokingly~ lifting Neptune up by the neck and ~half-jokingly~ trying to strangle her to fucking death, while your panicked little sisters do their best to pry CPU Purple Heart's claws off an idiot's throat.

Well, okay, so you WILL miss one thing about being a goddess.

"Uu~... c'mon, we'd better switch bodies back lickety-split!" Neptune moans, massaging her throat. It probably doesn't hurt that bad, since you've had loads of practice getting strangled by pretty much every monster with grasping parts. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely, you know!"

Amen to that.

Unsurprisingly, it takes a little while to get everything set up: you've got to run the raw Seganium through craftdwarf's workshops to convert it into threads, and /then/ smelt it at a metalsmith's forge. You and Urist handle the former, while Mojang and- surprisingly- Nepgear tackle the latter task.

The next half hour passes in idle chatter and quiet concentration, as the four of you talk about nothing in particular (barring Neptune's occasional all-too-energetic outburst). No goddesses, no adventurers, just... four people, shooting the breeze. A weight lifts off your shoulders, and some of the tension unwinds from your muscles.

It's honestly a pretty refreshing change from the usual conversation-that-ends-in-horrifying-violence that's so typical of you.

There's a little confusion when you end up with an entire pile off Seganium wafers that reach up to the knee, but you vaguely remember Histoire saying something about them needing to be combined into one actual object.

... which is where Nepgear's /second/ dwarfy project comes into fruition.

"Hmhmhm... as expected of my little sister!" Neptune looks over the completed project and nods smugly, crossing her arms under her chest. "The blood of Planeptune flows strongly through your veins, Nep Jr.!"

(Cont.)
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>>46172370
"I-It's Nepgear," the littler goddess mumbles, nevertheless basking in the afterglow of a job well done. "And thanks. I'm really happy with it! It's the first thing I thought of when I see the two of you standing together."

And then, over in the corner of the people who AREN'T Neptune... well.

Mojang clasps her hands together, clearly searching for something to say. "It's... really very cool?" she hazards.

Yeah. Good job, Nepgear.

As the mini-goddess beams like the morning sun, neither of you have the heart to ask how she knows what a motorcycle looks like, or /why/ that's the first thing that comes to mind.

"Come on, come on, let's get this show started!" Neptune slaps her hands down against the vehicle's fine leather seat. "Urist, you get the other end, okay? Or are we supposed to sit together?"

You ignore her, planting your clawed gloves against the motorcycle's headlights. Gods, you'll never complain about being beardless again. You won't even complain about being inadvertently cute, but just please, Armok, /get you back into your semi-dwarven body/.

"So are we supposed to say something now, or-"

... after an indeterminate amount of time blacked out, you wake up, groggily blinking what feels like a year's worth of fuzz from your brain. Once your eyes manage to focus, Mojang's concerned face looms into view, and she brushes a lock of hair away from your forehead.

"Oneechan?" she hazards. "Or, um... Neptune?"

You reach blindly for your inventory before giving up. Just- holy hell, could she please get you a beer?

Mojang lights up immediately, squealing- actually /squealing/- out of happiness, helping you sit up as gently as she can. "Oh, thank goodness! Welcome back, oneechan~!"

You quietly put up a hand, stopping her from hugging you. Th... thanks. But let's wait for the other shoe to drop first, 'kay?

(Cont.)
>>
>>46172295
FIRST MAKE HER CHANGE THE CLOTHES!
>>
>>46172385
"What do you... oh!" Mojang's eyes light up. In silent agreement, you both turn to look at Neptune's body. She's already standing up with Nepgear's help, but...

CPU Purple Heart imperiously looks around the storeroom, opens her mouth to say something potentially serious, and immediately hiccups.

The statuesque goddess frowns, goes cross-eyed, and, in a flash of light, immediately transforms back into Neptune; the shorter girl slumps against the wall and giggles drunkenly, one eyelid lower than the other. "Ooooohh my," Neptune slurs. "That'sh a lotta... okay, wow, gonna go do sitting thingsh now."

... as your skin starts crawling, you realize that in contrast, YOU'RE perilously close to being stone cold sober.

"That's a first." You look up to see Blanc standing next to you, staring down at her fellow goddess with weary, resigned exasperation. "I thought she'd be suffering from... something else."

You cast around for a flask of alcohol, ANY flask of alcohol, and pull out the one Neptune had been drinking. But- that- she drank booze while she was in YOUR body! Why the hell would /that/ carry back over, of all the fucking things!?

Blanc shrugs. "Some residual side effect from the transfer, maybe? I had no idea us goddesses could even /get/ sloshed."

"Nyueheheh," Neptune giggles drunkenly, reaching her hands toward Nepgear, who bats them away. Soon, it looks like they're playing at some sort of twisted slap fight, Neptune's increasingly fervent gropey offense rebounding against Nepgear's increasingly panicked defense.

"O-Oneechan, no- stop- please stop poking me!!"

From across the room, there's a quiet "noooooo..." as Thravar squeals out of pure reflex.

(Cont.)
>>
>>46172401
Fucking hell. You lift Neptune's flask to your lips, but all that's left is a tiny droplet. Denied your one source of happiness, you let your head fall back and sprawl against the floor.

There's really no justice in the world. There's really, really no justice in the world.

A small smile quirks at your lips, and for once in your life, you savor your craving for alcohol. You wouldn't have it any other way.

"O-Oneechan, could you..." Face somewhat reddened, Mojang is very, very carefully studying the ceiling. It hits you about the same time you start feeling a draft basically /everywhere/. "Could you please put on some clothes that aren't cobwebs?"

... except for that, maybe. You are VERY willing to change that.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]
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>>46172286
>dwarven child has entered a martial trance
>>
Sweet dreams blessed writer!
>>
>>46172401
>Neptune giggles drunkenly, reaching her hands toward Nepgear, who bats them away. Soon, it looks like they're playing at some sort of twisted slap fight, Neptune's increasingly fervent gropey offense rebounding against Nepgear's increasingly panicked defense.
Neptune, no! That's a forbidden love!
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>>46172430
Any drawfag willing to sketch embarrassed Urist in Cobwebs?
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>>46172401
>From across the room, there's a quiet "noooooo..." as Thravar squeals out of pure reflex.

adorable
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Apologies for the super-long wait times this thread, and for how short it turned out! I'm going to have to call it here, because I'm just about down and out for the night (as is my computer, apparently, because my browser keeps refusing to post any pictures larger than a few KBs without freezing up).

We'll pick up... /theoretically/ on Friday, 8-ish pm EST, though that may be subject to change! As always, I'll post scheduling updates on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, while questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest!

Thanks for participating, you guys, and for being patient with my slow speed tonight. Catch you next time!
>>
>>46172472
Thanks for running!
>>
>>46172472
>Friday, 8-ish pm EST
See you Sunday at 9:30!
>>
>>46172370
>You and Urist handle the former, while Mojang and- surprisingly- Nepgear tackle the latter task.
You and Urist handle the former, while Mojang and- surprisingly- Nepgear tackle the latter task.
>You and Urist handle the former
>You and Urist
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>>46172401
>"O-Oneechan, no- stop- please stop poking me!!"
>From across the room, there's a quiet "noooooo..." as Thravar squeals out of pure reflex.

...it does make sense that Thraviar is traumatized by being poked way too often. Poor sod, being forced to utter funny lines after being poked more than three times in a row.
>>
>>46172472
That freezing up happens to me often, but then again I have normaly a plethora of tabs open at the same time.

A browser restart should fix that.
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>>46172472
Thanks for the thread Blorp!

See you next time.
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>>46172385
>I'm really happy with it! It's the first thing I thought of when I see the two of you standing together
I'm still trying to figure out how Nepgear got the thought of Urist + Neptune = Motorcycle.
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>>46172928
Yeah, where'd that come from?
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>>46172928
She wants to ride both of them.
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>>46172988
Beep beep
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>>46172988
They look like a fun couple of sluts to her.
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>>46173010
Oh my.
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>>46173128
Oh, silly me, I guess she literally turns into a motorcycle in one of the games? Of COURSE she does, how foolish of me to think otherwise.

So Nepgear built an identical replica of her sister as a motorcycle? I can't tell if that's vaguely creepy or not...
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>>46173323
Yes. You need to keep up with the nep memes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qHYLO7BJmU
>>
>>
>>46168228
>Combat's a hell of a lot easier when you've got the power of flight, and when you've got another goddess of all things Sega (among other people) giving you backup, isn't it?
Except Blanc is Nintendo.
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>>46175085
This is Nepgear
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Now you see why everyone gangs up on Neptune.
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Nepgear rising is fun.
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>>46176284
It has its moments.
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....I just realized after looking it up.

Nintendium and Seganium aren't actually things from the Neptunia series?
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>>46177055
Yep. It's a Blorp creation for the quest.
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>>46177255
no kidding, a google search will literally get you the archived threads.

So what do we have on the table for Urist's new duds?

>Beer Shield
>Seganium?
>Nintendium?
>Void Silk

I mean, the stuff is probably really strong, but I can't find myself wanting to use it after imagining Neptune's smug face seeing Urist in it. What's a suitably non-flashy piece to have in seganium? Boots?

I don't think anyone will want to do this, but we could also convert Carp into some Void Leather armor...
>>
>>46177334
>but I can't find myself wanting to use it after imagining Neptune's smug face seeing Urist in it
What if Nepgear makes her big sister Urist a Seganium crossbow or something? Would you use it?
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>>46177533
That would probably be the best compromise.

....a really, REALLY good one, considering that Seganium thread could be perfect for stringing a crossbow. You just need a lever longer than the crossbow itself to cock the the thread.
>>
>>46177334
Don't we also have shit like Steam Ore or Atarium?
Use those, that way we don't make any goddesses look smug.
>>
>>46177566
I wish we knew how the other nations ores worked. Could be we need to make it out of the different ores togather in a manner to work.

If they can be used togather, that is.



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