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  • File :1242656932.jpg-(429 KB, 1024x780, sand-castle.jpg)
    429 KB Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:28 No.4585088  
    What's the strangest, weirdest thing you've ever had to do as a DM, /tg/? For me? I had to have settle a debate between two celestials over law vs chaos with Craft: Sandcastle checks.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:29 No.4585090
    You're going to have to explain that in more detail.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:35 No.4585110
    Don't just fucking leave us hanging.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:37 No.4585114
         File :1242657427.jpg-(41 KB, 393x297, 1241772912370.jpg)
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    More detail, OP. The absurdity of solving a problem of that magnitude with such a ridiculous skill check intrigues me.
    >> WAT WAT 05/18/09(Mon)10:37 No.4585115
         File :1242657436.jpg-(216 KB, 600x450, wat.jpg)
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    Excuse me, but... I really don't want to be obnoxious, but... I just have to ask... WAT?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:39 No.4585128
    rolling for anal circumfrence
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:42 No.4585132

    Two celestial PCs in my party are close friends. One is an Astral Deva from Mount Celestia, the other is a coure eladrin from Arborea. As such, they often argue over if law or chaos is the proper reference point for all good in the cosmos. This is normally full of interesting philosophical thought and serves as a fascinating backdrop to whatever is going on. Not today, as the two were squabbling like children.

    The party stopped at a beach to rest and bathe. While doing the bathing scene(The rest of the party was busy casting some unrelated magics), the two started arguing yet again. In a fit of challenging pique, the deva said that any properly planned sand castle would outdo a chaotically thrown together mess that the eladrin would make. No, I'm not bullshitting. The eladrin calls her on that...and...they ask me what sort of rolls they can use to determine this.

    At this point, the entire thing had derailed the other PCs, as they were watching and laughing. I shrug and say Craft: Sandcastle on a whim, since why the fuck not? The two celestials march out of the water, buck naked, and proceed to go crazy building sandcastle.

    Since neither had relevant craft ranks, it was opposed int checks. They tied and had the same modifier so it was a true draw. Not only did it get nowhere, but acted like petulant children when I announced that the results were tied. So they started a sand fight between the two, all while loudly bitching over law and chaos.

    I'm still not sure what the fuck.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:43 No.4585139
    Good ending.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:44 No.4585144



    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:44 No.4585146
    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 05/18/09(Mon)10:44 No.4585148

    This was in the Planescape Magical Girl game, wasn't it? It's the only thing that makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:45 No.4585151
    That's fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:45 No.4585154

    OP here. 'fraid not.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:46 No.4585156

    If there was ever a time for a drawfag to come into a thread, it is now. Holy shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:47 No.4585161
    I lol'd heartily.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:48 No.4585177
    Well, after that, I don't think we can top it...

    But as a DM, I had to work out how a sorcerer/monk would work, if the character in question truly believed he was not a sorcerer. I roll 1d100 in stressful situations, and we might get a random cast each time.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:48 No.4585179
    This is awesome and you should feel awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:49 No.4585183

    Yeah, that's pretty much /thread. Someone screencap that? Also, >>4585156 seconding.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)10:57 No.4585236
    I want to post to this, but I can't top that, OP. Got any more?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:07 No.4585311

    No, I wish I could, but that's the weirdest for me.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:27 No.4585399
    Cute ending, if you ask me.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:31 No.4585422
    I arranged a normal mission where a party of cut-throats had to assassinate a town mayor. I expected them to sneak inside, kill the guards and murder the mayor.

    They didn't.

    They kidnapped one of the local architects and the charisma-prat disguised himself and pretended to be him, after forging a warrant to examine the mansion's foundations. He bluffed the mayor into thinking that the foundations weren't secure and needed repairing. He assured him the process would be completely safe.
    The architect and a host of labourers were hired, documents and blueprints were forged and the party was allowed to get on without any trouble. The foundations and the beams were made insecure and several barrels of gunpowder were wheeled in, under the disguise of cement powder.
    During the night after the delivery, the sneaky bastard of the party remained behind, lit a fuse and snuck out.
    The mansion collapsed with the mayor and his family trapped inside.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:32 No.4585431

    Thirding. This thread needed to be preserved until such a time it is possible to get this animated by Dreamworks, or Pixar.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:35 No.4585450

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:38 No.4585469
    >>The two celestials march out of the water, buck naked

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:41 No.4585497
    with luck, yes.
    >> MechaMilk !T.We2gZSuI 05/18/09(Mon)11:41 No.4585498
    Ahahaha, awesome! Where's a drawfag when you need one? Mr. Culexus? Miko? This is your time!

    Honestly, OP, I don't think anyone could top that.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:46 No.4585536

    Yes, as it so happens. Imagine a pretty black haired angel and a cute female pixie and you're on the right track.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:49 No.4585560

    Fuck you, matey.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)11:55 No.4585595

    Dude. Your players are fucking hard core.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:07 No.4585695

    tell your faggots to stop abusing the Forgery rules and stretching every goddamn piece of shit into a drama
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:08 No.4585696

    I cast Summon Drawfag with the Maximize and Intensify feats.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:09 No.4585704
    I've been told that if I allow the Church of Boobs, I should also allow the church of Ass.Evil Asses and Good Boobs are in a sort of a war.Delicious Flat Chest Church is neutral.

    Paladin got a WTF face.But our Rogue is happy so everybody wins.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:18 No.4585775

    I don't think using a skill called Forgery to forge an official document can be considered "abusing."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:21 No.4585817
         File :1242663705.jpg-(299 KB, 1000x675, sandfight.jpg)
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    I prefer the scenario where they are both girls.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:25 No.4585849
    I thought angels were required by cultural norms to be blonde. And stacked. Unless they are Flonne.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:27 No.4585879

    Angels are just VERY beautiful/gorgeous humans with wings. Coloration I think is irrelevant (only perfection of skin and muscle-tone is relevant).
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:30 No.4585908
         File :1242664232.jpg-(46 KB, 439x658, sandcastle dragon.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:31 No.4585912

    No. Angels are fuckhuge spheres with a million wings that span the galaxies, covered in eyes, covered in BEES.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:31 No.4585916
    I thought angels were just weird-looking winged things with faces on fire and the head of lions and all that shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:41 No.4585989
         File :1242664875.jpg-(224 KB, 693x800, Lg_Thrones_Angels.jpg)
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    Depends on the angel.
    >>The Cherubim (singular "Cherub") are beyond the throne of God; they are the guardians of light and of the stars. It is believed that, although they are separated from Earth, the divine light that they filter down from Heaven still touches the lives of living things.

    >>They have four faces: one of each a man, an ox, a lion, and an eagle. The ox-face is considered the "true face", as later on in Ezekiel the ox's face is called a cherub's face (Chapter 10). They have four conjoined wings covered with eyes, and they have ox's feet.

    >>The Ophanim (Heb. owphan: Wheels, also known as Thrones, from the vision of Daniel 7:9) are unusual looking compared to the other celestial beings; They appear as a beryl-coloured wheel-within-a-wheel, their rims covered with hundreds of eyes.

    >>They are closely connected with the Cherubim: "When they moved, the others moved; when they stopped, the others stopped; and when they rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them; for the spirit of the living creatures [Cherubim] was in the wheels." (Ezekiel 10:17).
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:43 No.4586001

    That's awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:44 No.4586015
    ROKfag in Gangwon?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:47 No.4586032

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:47 No.4586041
         File :1242665272.jpg-(25 KB, 408x406, qashmallim.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:48 No.4586044

    You are right.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:49 No.4586056

    I like the new movie series so far, over the old episodes and OVA. Just seems cleaner and well thought out.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:51 No.4586071
         File :1242665470.png-(1.65 MB, 1280x683, Jacob_and_nemesis.png)
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    So, who won?

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:51 No.4586080

    I like NGE. :<
    >> -|- Slaaneshiguard -|- !!bOOhb8C7gxV 05/18/09(Mon)12:53 No.4586098
         File :1242665635.jpg-(25 KB, 294x400, CREED Awesome.jpg)
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    there are no words that can properly expres how awesome that is and how much i lol'd reading this.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:54 No.4586101
         File :1242665652.jpg-(66 KB, 645x933, sandalphpn.jpg)
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    Obligatory Shinji and Warhammer 40k mention, that manages to make all angels awesome.

    Also, am I the only one who thinks the bizarre lava anomalocaris Sandalphon looks like a dapper gentleman? I can just see it with a monocle and a top hat.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:54 No.4586105

    I'll pass sorry. The originals started out alright but turned into a train wreck.
    >> Captain Failmore Oh Shit He's Back 05/18/09(Mon)12:55 No.4586110

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:56 No.4586118

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:56 No.4586119

    Keep reading, it's resolved several posts down. It was a draw.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)12:56 No.4586125
    They can be. Sometimes, they can't be arsed. If I try to set up a situation to stimulate their minds, they whine and complain for easy solutions. If I can't be bothered with setting up an adventure and just fudge something in the five-minutes prep-time I have before our game, they ended up thinking it through like crazy.

    These players also had to secure a crashed Neogi spidership at one point, without knowing what the fuck a Neogi was.
    Rather than simply bust in there and kill all of the spider-eel-monstrosities, the party healer (also the party face) posed as a slave-trader. After several surprisingly high bluff checks, she convinced the Neogi to temporarily keep the rest of the party as insurance for when she returned with more slaves - a band of mercenaries that she hired from the local tavern. The players took advantage of the opportunity to scope out the area and spot high priority targets and so on.
    Healer came back with the mercenaries, the Neogi offered a group of their own slaves in returned.
    Healer said 'fuck you', mercenaries and the party suddenly jumped up and fucked shit up, killing all of the major Neogi who were dominating the slaves.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:03 No.4586180
    Archiving this shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:07 No.4586220
    Ok, so my party was in town trying to root out an evil group thing. They had located two possible places where this group might be hiding stuff, a warehouse and a building on the far side of town. Naturaly they were disagreeing on which to check first.

    While most of the group was arguing, the Gnome Wizard, who was already quite drunk (both in and out of the game) passed me a not saying he's going to slip out and go to the warehouse when no one was paying attention. Jumping on the excuse to make everyone roll spot checks, he manages to stumble his way out as the rest of the party rolls TERRIBLE. I then pull the wizard aside to do his little adventure, telling the rest of the party to just keep going.

    Anyways, once I'm done with him, I return to the rest of the people and tell them that they just now realize the gnome is missing. They go to the warehouse (since that's where he wanted to go) after checking the near by pubs.

    They find him, and all of the gaurds, sitting in a circle, singing drinking songs and drinking like mad. He had managed to talk them all into drinking with him (using a couple charms) and proceeded to drink them all into the ground with a series of AMAZING fort saves.

    The last gaurd passed out as the party was approaching, the gnome said... something, it was too slured to understand, and passed out himself.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:18 No.4586319
    If only Devils and Demons could follow the adorable example set in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:19 No.4586327

    So, these Neogi weren't really phased by how heavily equipped adventurers would be?

    Cool story though, moar like them please
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:20 No.4586334
    In Hell, a friendly competition usually involves rape, murder, brutal agony and gore.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:21 No.4586335

    Use Fall from Grace and that reformed erinyes meme from around here.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:21 No.4586339

    Read the entire post, I'm talking about the new movies. i.e. not the old series.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:22 No.4586343
    >reformed Erinyes
    A naked beach sandcastle building contest between an Erinyes, a Coure Eladrin and a celestial.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:23 No.4586349
    Imagine Ramiel trying to build a sandcastle.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:24 No.4586353

    That gnome is a fucking badass.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:26 No.4586362

    Don't all the reformed erinyes stories feature a coure eladrin in them as well?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:27 No.4586369

    They do. It's the improved familiar feat from BoED, IIRC?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:29 No.4586380
    Imagine Sahaquiel trying it. Say, trying to do the last touches.

    "I did it, I did it, I did i.....Shit"

    Then the castle explodes, alongside Sahaquiel. And the beach.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:32 No.4586395
    Is that the concertina arms?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:32 No.4586396
    Wait a tick. Did we just get an Alicia story ninja'd past us?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:33 No.4586406
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:35 No.4586415
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:37 No.4586426
    The changeling soulknife (do not greentext this and go 'lol' - this motherfucker did damage) had glamered armour. The healer and the rogue had hats of disguise. This left the greyguard, who was decked out in featureless platemail with a greatsword. He looked like the bodyguard.

    Anyway, let me think up another one - this is the same campaign as the Neogi one. The players weren't so intelligent this time.
    They received news that one of the agents of an organization called the 'Hounds of Naberius' (organization of ninja-binders that acted as the CIA for an enemy nation) was overseeing an illegal slave-trade operation at the docks.
    The changeling took on the appearance of a whore and seduced the harbour bookman - before turning into Sameul L. Jackson and knocking him out before anything too risque happened. They grabbed the book-keeper's ledger and managed to discover the location of the slave-trader's ship.
    Next morning, rather than attempt to butcher their way to the hidden pier through the hired muscle, the healer tried to bluff her way inside. She failed, miserably. Still, she was guided down there anyway - until the party was surrounded by the cut-throats and the Hound of Naberius. They got disarmed and locked away with the rest of the slaves. However, after an hour of rolling grapple-checks through prison bars, eventually the players managed to break out and grab their equipment. The changeling assumed the guard's appearance and stood guard. The greyguard wrenched a hole open in the side of the ship and swam out, punching holes open in the hulls of all of the other ships, where the slave compartments were, allowing the slaves to escape. Cue massive slave revolt and the party battling against a crazy binder-ninja in the middle of a secret underground harbour while all of the ships and piers around them burn to the ground.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:38 No.4586434

    It wouldn't be the first time, that's all I'll say on the subject.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:38 No.4586435

    Imagine a naked Tabris trying to build one. ^______________________________^
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:39 No.4586448

    You the OP of those or just bullshitting?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:43 No.4586467

    I post the Alicia stories, but I'm not the OP of this thread. And yeah, there's been a few stories I've posted with some details changed, mainly to avoid paladin related shitstorms.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:44 No.4586473

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:49 No.4586497
    But your stories are fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:49 No.4586501


    Link related.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:51 No.4586516
    holy wat
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)13:53 No.4586530

    Thank you. But it's lame to have threads derailed by people going on and on about paladin morality bullshit.

    Like, remember those 'help, I'm a sorcerer stuck in the abyss' threads with all the succubi? They were all good clean fun when everyone thought it was some hapless sorcerer dude having wacky misadventures. But if people knew it was actually a paladin/sorcerer there'd have been all sorts of tired bullshit about 'lawlufall for talking to demons'.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:03 No.4586578

    Those threads(They're archived) are way more hilarious when you know that. Shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:06 No.4586592
    What threads?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:07 No.4586598

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:10 No.4586612
    Wait, so the "probably going to get raped by succubi" guy...that was Alicia?

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:20 No.4586664
    Reading through those threads again...

    If that IS Alicia in disguise, man, your DM is really intent on giving you a harem. JUST ACCEPT IT
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:26 No.4586701
    In our recent campaign (3.5) the group needed to acquire a magical artifact from a citadel in Hell, pretty generic stuff as a plot. They got down there, all went according to plan, they even found a back way in.

    Somewhere along the way though, they got lost and ended up in some huge office building, imagine the central bureaucracy. The party were informed we needed papers or, as kindly as it could be put, my devils would have to do terrible things to their fleshy parts.

    When the party inquired how to get papers I told them the best method was to get employed in the citadel. I then offered them various jobs murdering, and told Paladin she could have an illustrious carreer Black Guard. However being a good party they didn't want to kill indiscriminately, and were kind of on a time table so they couldn't dick around all layers of existence.

    So, the party monk suggested to the demons that they become janitors. Queue the party doing a variety of checks to not only seem sincere but also display their ability to manage wastes... all the while the group Druid was trying to negotiate for benefits...
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:28 No.4586717

    A paladin/sorc is going to be shitting charisma. That should be happening anyway.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:29 No.4586730
    When you're a Paladin as fucking win as Alicia, AND you have some epic charisma anyway, the whole lesbian harem thing isn't a surprise. I'm actually surprised the DM didn't shoehorn Ivy into the campaign at a later date for delicious illicit freaky sex.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)14:30 No.4586740

    ...most excellent. Most excellent indeed.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:03 No.4586996
         File :1242673405.gif-(2.73 MB, 380x200, Ramiel.gif)
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    more Ramiel !
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:05 No.4587010
    Just watched the Rebuild video.

    Holy christ the noises it makes are fucking awesome. Sounds like a choir of angels SCREAMING AT YOU.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:38 No.4587193

    Seriously, no matter how shitty the source is, they sure pulled off some of those angels right. It's like something you'd fucking read out of the Bible. "And lo, its form ebbed and flowed like the ocean itself, and then with the power of THE LORD we did hear the screams of a thousand angels of fury as its lasers of death leveled our kingdom."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:43 No.4587220
    Ramiel, the bringer of thunder.

    Be ye not fooled by an unseeming facade, for his might is unfathomable. Twisting his body like clay, he filled the minds of the trembling city with his glorious voice, and the sacred light smote down upon this foolish Earth, and the trees and the grass and the air boiled, and the unworthy became as ash blown in the wind.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:45 No.4587238
    Shit, this would make an awesome surprise BBEG. Play up the vague imagery in ancient lore and shit, and then drop a twenty-foot-tall octahedron on your players. And when one of them goes "oh, well that's not so bad"

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:51 No.4587281


    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)15:54 No.4587294
    I have the Rebuild video, subbed by Nyoron, before Funimation asked him to take it down.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:17 No.4587505
         File :1242677851.gif-(4 KB, 300x343, octahedron.gif)
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    In the ongoing Marvel series Guardians of the Galaxy, somewhat /tg/-related since it's being written by Dan Abnett, the titular team are fighting to prevent things that shouldn't be from entering the universe through the cracks in space/time left after the Annihilation event.

    I've seen pages from the first issue where they drive back a generic tentacled eldritch abomination posted on /tg/, but more recently, they were busy with the War of Kings to prevent a tiny octahedron crystal entered the universe unhindered.

    That simple thing frightens me more than a cosmic war between beings that could shatter cities in seconds. I just read it and went "FUCK! IT'S A.... A...

    *Googles it*

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:20 No.4587550
    Evangelion should've dropped its plot for more giant monsters vaguely related to Christianity.

    Say, one day, sun just doesn't rise on Tokyo 3. Communication systems cut off, mobile devices stop working, the city is isolated from the outside world. Then people notice the stars are blinking.

    After each blink, an eye replaces a star, until the full moon itself turns into a sickly, glowing eye. An unearthly moan fills the air, heralding the arrival of Uriel, Angel of Earth.

    The trick is that the entire Matarael ripoff eye field is a trap and the real, subterranean, invisible angel is infiltrating its way to the Geofront.
    >> sage 05/18/09(Mon)16:21 No.4587556

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:23 No.4587583

    that's pretty awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:27 No.4587621

    They were naked, hot girls and covered in sand AND they didn't settle it with lesbian sex? For shame.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:28 No.4587646


    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:30 No.4587662
    That is... IIRC.
    I don't remember being particularly wowed or disappointed with the ending. But it was a good read.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:32 No.4587685
    >>covered in sand

    You've never had sex.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:33 No.4587699
         File :1242678810.png-(937 KB, 640x898, Kawoshin LOL SHOWER SCENE REDU(...).png)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:33 No.4587702
    I've been in sand, though, and I can tell ya, you don't want that in your squishy bits.

    Also FUCK YEAH RAMIEL. Best derail ever.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:33 No.4587703

    Sand? In *my* vagina?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:35 No.4587720
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:36 No.4587728
    The worst thing about Ramiel is that it's a fucking trap. It's actually pretty sedate and ineffectual as long as you don't piss it off. It could pass for a statue in some town somewhere, perched on top of a giant dais, cradled on the shoulders of four large-than-life atlas figures or something.

    Except nobody but the mayor and some wizzads know that the statues were built AROUND the giant crystal, which just hovers, motionless...impossible, but there. Nobody knows what it is or why.

    Until someone pisses it off and it goes on the defensive and LEVELS THE FUCKING CITY.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:38 No.4587744
    Fuck that, we need a writefag for >>4587728

    Because I suck at it.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:40 No.4587775
    fukken saved
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:44 No.4587821
    Like.... A rouge arrow or fireball between the PCs and some mooks strikes it by accident?

    PC rolls poorly. "I miss." You fugde some rolls. "Your arrow/fireball/Masterwork Folded Pan/Breadnaught sails past the mook, and strikes the large, blue octahedron statue in town center and bounces harmlessly off an invisible barrier. It screams at you, like a thousand angels roaring in disapproval, then spins in place, changing before your eyes into a massive inverted five-point star. A massive orb of light forms at its center.... Roll dodge."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:44 No.4587824
    "What a stupid statue! Who in his right mind would build that here"
    "Let's spray over it, it doesn't look right that way. Got a ladder?"

    The next day, townsfolk is surprised to find a few burn marks on the statue that has inexplicably stayed perfectly clean for decades, which on further inspection is revealed to be charred human flesh.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:46 No.4587839
    >rouge arrow
    Hilarious mental image is hilarious.

    >Roll dodge
    Dodge Ramiel's insane laser of death? Methinks not.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:47 No.4587846

    YES. Cast summon drawfag again!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:48 No.4587864
    And...just to be awkward, is it just me or does the thing sound HAPPY when it screams? I'd liken it closer to a joyous heavenly choir. Hell, it even plays cheerful-sounding celestial notes when it changes shape.

    Which just makes it even more fucking messed up. It's like if you somehow ended up punching an angel and it cried out in joy as it RAPED YOU IN THE SOUL WITH LASERS
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:53 No.4587911
    This thread is awesome and you all should feel awesome. Alicia stories ftw.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)16:59 No.4587987
    "In the centre of the city stands a glorious tribute to the almighty sun. A statue carved by the greatest of artisans from all across the kingdom, four towering giants thrice the height of any man, resplendent in white glimmering marble, carrying upon their backs the everlasting sun rendered in the form of an enormous blue sapphire. Some claim that it is just such, but most suspect that it merely glass tinted to achieve the appearance of a precious stone, for its sheer greatness is far beyond that of any single sapphire ever witnessed, greater in diameter than even the ancient fir tree in the castle courtyard.

    However...there are those who know the truth. That it is not, as it indeed seems, a sapphire, OR a magnificent feat of glassmaking, but a mystery all of its own. The statues about its base do not support it, for it has always been there since before the city even existed, never moving so much as a hair's breadth."

    "They say you can see your soul reflected in its surface, if you look. Of course no one's ever been that close..."

    "It speaks when nobody is listening. Sometimes you can hear it, in the dead of night, whispering in the tongues of the ancient host of heaven, naming the names of all the stars in the sky. Sometimes...you can hear it singing."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:03 No.4588028
    Seriously, someone please take over from here. I'm not good at this.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:17 No.4588175
    No more love for Ramiel?

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:18 No.4588188

    Just because you roll doesn't mean that the dice have any chance of changing anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:20 No.4588212
    "Roll to dodge."
    "I got 18."
    "You leap away just in time. The water in the font behind you bursts into steam. Your clothes explode and your body is aflame. You suffer third degree burns on most of your legs, back and left arm."
    "Shit dude, I dodged."
    "Yeah, that's why you're still alive."
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:22 No.4588241
         File :1242681745.jpg-(145 KB, 357x500, lantern.jpg)
    145 KB
    Ramiel is an epic advanced Lantern Archon.

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:31 No.4588362
    What do these Lantern Archons tend to look like? Floating lanterns?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:33 No.4588392
    There's a pic on the card.
    Glowy floating balls of light.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:34 No.4588409
    My first impulse is
    >Small Outsider

    But then I got to thinking, technically, what if Ramiel is just the core? That might be tiny. If so, it must project its "shell" around itself.

    Is there any sort of spell or spell-like effect that could simulate an opaque barrier that can withstand physical and magical attacks of all kinds (to an extent) and change shape at will, AND be maintained indefinitely? Or at least something that might work to represent Ramiel's "shell"?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:43 No.4588530
    Where's that Touhoufag when you need him.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:49 No.4588595

    Really I just suggested it because Lantern Archons are more commonly described as 'laser beachballs' since their signature attack is a dr ignoring laser beam.

    It's weak, sure, but lantern archons are at the bottom of the rung. If one of them made it all the way up to epic levels, however, it might wind up with an enormous particle cannon of doom.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)17:51 No.4588615
    I still say you could do a bit of houseruling, slap some Epic levels on the thing, give it some weird spell effect combinations and come up with something Ramiel-ish. Except I have no idea about all that shit myself so...

    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:12 No.4588837
         File :1242684772.jpg-(241 KB, 800x600, BOOOOOND.jpg)
    241 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:15 No.4588861
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:15 No.4588863

    Lose the crab, for the love of all that is holy!
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:18 No.4588881
    Could I get the ORIGINAL version of this picture plz?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:18 No.4588885
    What? A /tg/ drawfag? Draw porn that isn't a bad excuse for retarded humor? No.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:20 No.4588905
         File :1242685232.jpg-(241 KB, 800x600, SAND.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:23 No.4588926

    Speaking as a player in the OP's game, I love you.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:25 No.4588944
    Archive this
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:25 No.4588945
    >4585817 here, I also love >>4588926
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:26 No.4588961

    ...isn't there some monster feat like 'maximize spell-like (or supernatural) ability?'

    That alone would be cause for alarm.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:28 No.4588985
    >The party stopped at a beach to rest and bathe
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:32 No.4589011

    I'm presuming copious amounts of gore. Or corrosive slime.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)18:35 No.4589038
    had a wild mage accidently suck a mansion into the plane of elemental earth
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)22:07 No.4590986
    How is that even possible?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)22:25 No.4591138

    OP here, you are awesome. Any chance of a fully NWS version by moving a few sand towers?
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)22:28 No.4591172
    I don't know man they're a pretty central part of the composition
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)22:34 No.4591222

    This, it would be the crowning part of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)22:46 No.4591336
    And I think this makes all the people in the OP's game that have replied with this.

    This being said, yeah, by that point I was just snickering at the entire escapade. Watching them tie was just crowning moment of hilarity.
    >> Anonymous 05/18/09(Mon)23:57 No.4592097
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)03:26 No.4593815

    No, but close. That one had one of the PCs construct a sandcastle complete with bedrooms, kitchen and functional plumbing.

    Not the weirdest thing that's happened in that game so far.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)05:14 No.4594403

    That must be one hell of a strange game.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)06:46 No.4594933

    You have no idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)06:58 No.4594975
    I apologize in advance for being too lazy to read the entire thread, which has no doubt by no moved on to something else:

    If the point of the exercise is well-planned sandcastle archicture (law) versus intuition and chaotic whimsy and inspiration (chaos) then I think the rolls should be based on something different. The law person should be making a craft (sandcastle) check, but the chaotic person should be making a roll based on their wis or cha. I mean, the reason craft is based on int is because you have to learn the trade, and do it the correct way. Whereas the chaotic character, assuming he's actually doing this chaotically, is just throwing sand together and hoping it looks good.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)07:41 No.4595093

    You may have a point somewhere in that, but who cares? It's a good story, who cares on if they should have used a different check?
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)09:56 No.4595907

    WHAT? Planescape magical girl game?
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)11:59 No.4596733
    Strangest? The party paladin fell through a giant undead beehive, crashing deep into it and being reduced to single digit HP. He had to make a daring escape out despite hordes of undead giant bees after him.

    Fun times.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)12:08 No.4596792

    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)12:09 No.4596801
    I didn't DM this, but weirdest is the DM who used a Deck of Many Things as the BBEG. It was intelligent and was trying to trick people into drawing the wish card, and then wishing for another Deck of Many Things. We had to find it and stop it before too many of those were created, and chaos overtook the world. Shit was trippy.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)12:12 No.4596838
    It sounds like if someone pissed God off. And God just happened to be a whiny teenage girl. With a synthesizer.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)13:25 No.4597243
    And a "Fuck-you I'm gonna blow up half this mountain" laser.


    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)13:50 No.4597400
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)13:52 No.4597412

    I know I'm late to the party, but holy shit is this epic and hilarious. Bravo.
    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)13:55 No.4597439
         File :1242755749.jpg-(608 KB, 936x1288, Breadnought.jpg)
    608 KB

    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)16:53 No.4598681

    >> Anonymous 05/19/09(Tue)20:23 No.4600643
    What if the Rebuild version of Ramiel had the automatic defence laser of the original?

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