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  • File :1240887322.gif-(74 KB, 328x470, photo345215215.gif)
    74 KB Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)22:55 No.4418034  
    A year ago, a friend got me a job at Costco, in the photo department. We did stuff like taking pictures for passports, as well as the fixing/printing photos people brought to get processed.

    Usually when we "fix" pictures, we just remove red eye and shift the levels around. My friend thought it would be funny to do other stuff, so we ended up doing things like inserting celebrities into the backgrounds, adding ufos, and other things to freak people out if they noticed. I got pretty good at adding barely noticeable ghosts, and my friend got a raging hardon for increasing girl's breast sizes.

    One customer who probably never heard of buying a printer or Kinko's came almost every week to get stuff printed. I intended to tell her she was really just pissing away money by taking it to us, but she was pretty ugly and I'm really only nice to good looking women. I think it's a point to mention she was ugly because it flows right into what kind of pictures she was taking.

    She took pictures of her D&D sessions. Just her and four fat, ugly fucks rolling dice and promoting the stereotype. Best part? All of them are in costume. Almost every picture is just someone laughing at something, laughing with their big, wide, fat person mouth, while wearing a chainmail cap or wizard's hat.

    Once, we just added all sorts of shit to these pictures, to the point in which we didn't even bother to make it subtle. We added lightning effects, sparkling motes, set random people on fire, and just fucked around as much as we could. Even after we did all that, or maybe because of it, she still came by the next week, and we made it a point to just add all sorts of crazy stuff. She never said anything about it. We never said anything about it, and we kept doing it for a few weeks until it became almost a habit.

    Then, one week, there were nude photographs.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)22:56 No.4418044
    Oh god
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)22:57 No.4418045
    Sool bory cro
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)22:57 No.4418052
         File :1240887476.jpg-(62 KB, 280x259, CulexusPokemon.jpg)
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    Change all the faces to
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)22:58 No.4418054
    OP you had best finish this story.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:01 No.4418081
    >>OP you had best post dem tittays.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:03 No.4418094
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    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:07 No.4418121
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:10 No.4418146
    I regret everything I'd ever done to get to that point. Taking the job, living in that town, being fucking born. God the pictures were...

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    I'd like you to ask my friend to describe them. I can't. I... fuck fuck fuck.

    She knew. Oh god she knew. She knew I'd see them. She probably wanted me to see them. She probably had the whole thing happen just so we would see them.

    The picture series started innocent enough. The date on them was friday, same as all their other D&D sessions. But they didn't put on their usual costumes. They didn't take out the usual books, or the usual dice. But they did have those horrible horrible.... fuckshit fuck.... usual smiles.

    It was like.... I don't even know what was going on in all the pictures. There were just body parts. Some intertwined, some inserted, and it wasn't until a far shot of the entire scene came up that I realized what was going on.

    We have a policy about these sort of pictures, and the only time we do anything outside the normal procedure is if there are children involved.

    The boy couldn't have been older than six.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:14 No.4418174
    WOW that is not the direction I expected this to be going in.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:15 No.4418181
    Okay now I REALLY dont believe this happened but I want to hear how it ends now.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:15 No.4418182
    Call police, rip out eyes, you won't need them anymore
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:16 No.4418191
    now you really need to finish the story.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:17 No.4418192
    in before zalgo bel air
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:17 No.4418195
    not the op, you dumbasses
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:22 No.4418235
    OP here

    So i realized what i was looking at and called the police. They arrested her when she showed up to collect her pictures.

    All was well until about four days later when we too got arrested. Apparently this lady had saved some of our doctored photos and showed them to the cops as evidence we messed around with her pictures.

    So now the cops believe that we doctored these photos. too, but they want to know where the six year old came from.

    Fortunately i had a plan, i managed to tunnel out of jail one day and make it to a street. I whisteled for a cab and when it came near i saw this cab was fresh and it had dice on the mirror...
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:23 No.4418245
    I don't think you're OP.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:23 No.4418251
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:24 No.4418252
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:28 No.4418284
    This is not OP. Grammar and typing style are made of fail. OP's grammar and typing style are made of win.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:28 No.4418289
         File :1240889309.jpg-(99 KB, 600x429, hankhillwtf.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:29 No.4418292
    The nudes were horrible. Just imagine going to a deli, than rooting through the garbage, and then putting what you found on a bed. Add a dirty black mop on top and you should have your mental image.

    I wanted to just print them and forget them, but my friend wasn't going to just let this slip by. He kept any nudes we got on his flash drive, and these were being added to his collection, no matter how ghastly the subject.

    And he was going to edit them.

    While doing so, he started to notice all sorts of things, and began to tell me about them. She stuck a d20 in her asshole in one picture. She has a beard on her clam that would make a dwarf proud. She looks like she has four boobs and two mini boobs when standing.

    And I know that somewhere, sometime, he's going to upload these pictures on the internet. And someone's going to download them and masturbate to them.

    I quit shortly after. My friend still works there. He joined their group some time after that.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:30 No.4418313
    so.... so.... we don't get to see the nudes?

    We don't get to see a d20 in her boulder of an ass?
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:32 No.4418322
    So anyway, welcome to /tg/, this is the board where we talk about boardgames, wargames, and the like. Around here we're pretty simple folks with a few rules:
    1. Do not take the Emprah's name in vain
    2. Tau are weeaboo
    3. Tau are not weeaboo
    4. It's spelled dorfs
    5. It's spelled dwarves
    6. Khorne the betrayer is actually a pretty cool guy.
    7. Trolling can be funny sometimes, provided it's done with taste, or at least tact.
    I know you're new and all, but if you could just follow these rules, you'll be able to go anywhere.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:34 No.4418341
    ...are you stupid? Khorne the Betrayer is a bloodthirsty maniac.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:35 No.4418353
    >>4418292 My friend still works there. He joined their group some time after that.

    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:36 No.4418369

    He's both.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:39 No.4418393
    whoops, misspelled it, Kharn, my bad.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:45 No.4418468
    Now, when I said ugly, I meant acne, glasses, hair like the ring, and dressed like Cousin Itt.

    In the nudes, however, you couldn't really see the acne too well. The glasses were gone. Pig tails. And, I don't even think I need to mention she was as naked as God intended for her to be.

    My friend didn't believe it. I thought she must have some sister who took the camera. But it was definitely her. Without the stupid sweaters and sweat pants, without the backdrop of fat geeks, it was just a girl exposing herself to us. Showing her pretty little body with a look of mixed deviance and shame.

    I get an erection just thinking about them. I saved them. I then had no idea what came next. Just give her the photos back without saying anything? Point out that she had an ass that made me want to ride her right there and then? Just jump on her and get it over with?

    Thankfully, my friend is smarter in certain situations than I am. He quickly pointed out that she definitely had issues. Between the taking photos of fat fucks in medieval costumes and sending nude photographs of herself to be developed, she was definitely the kind of girl to avoid.

    Turns out, she ended up never coming to pick up those pictures. She didn't come the next week, or the next, and in the end, I quit without ever seeing her again.

    Shamefully, I occasionally still masturbate to her pictures.
    >> LogicNinja's tripcode is logicninja. !X/WncDCXNA 04/27/09(Mon)23:55 No.4418573
    And after this, you post them in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:59 No.4418608
    The nudes were of her and the guy who always played the wizard, according to the hat he wore (in every set of pictures, including this one).

    They were obviously asking for us to doctor the pictures, as they were posing in the most ridiculous manners. One picture has the wizard guy in the Kamehameha® pose, blasting some invisible force into the women's vagina.

    I thought that if there was some line that I was not going to cross, it would be this, but my friend was only too happy to oblige. He spent so much time and effort into doctoring the set, I had to pick up his slack of regular jobs. Finally, when he finished, he showed it all to me.

    He had managed to transform the ugly girl to a fairly decent one in several of the pictures. The guy, however, was beyond help, but he did get some kind of added charm thanks to the white wizard beard.

    The prime piece were several edits of what I had thought were the Kamehameha® pose, but my friend thought a step beyond that. He turned it into a breast enlargement beam, and I had to think of the non-edited pictures to keep myself from getting an erection. Call it a weakness, but it's a particular fetish of mine.

    After she got back the pictures, she came back the next week with just a bunch of pictures of herself and the wizard, fully dressed, but clearly expressing laughter, mirth, and a sick sense of gratitude.
    >> Anonymous 04/27/09(Mon)23:59 No.4418610
    Fun fact: The OP only made the original post.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:03 No.4418655
    Lying: The Original Traditional Game.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:10 No.4418715
    This is more like Telephone.

    All you fags played that in grade school, admit it
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:11 No.4418725
    That game where we steal the teacher's credit card and call phone sex lines?

    What has that got to do with anything?
    >> OP 04/28/09(Tue)00:12 No.4418733
    I couldn't say no. No matter how nasty, how fat, how disgusting a bitch was, nudes were nudes.

    I called my friend over. He took a look at the screen, and then he looked at me. We exchanged glances. Nothing more had to be said.

    We whipped out our cocks, and began to furiously masturbate. I had lost the round before, so this time I was in charge of changing the pictures. I was going through the set pretty easily. The girl was nasty enough to keep my load under control, and my friend was already starting to show that he was going to lose it. I knew he had a thing for fatties, and it was going to cost him the match.

    Then, I cycled to a picture of just her tits.

    I wasn't expecting it. For a second, I forgot who they belonged to. And that second proved fatal.

    I shot my load all over the keyboard and screen, while my friend simply gave out a single victory shout before tucking away his johnson.

    I had lost again.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:15 No.4418763
    How many times have you lost the game before?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:18 No.4418781
    What the hell is going on in this thread?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:26 No.4418841
    This is what Win looks like, Timmy.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:27 No.4418843
    I have never seen so much body hair in my life.

    At first I thought they were pictures of a dude, I mean the legs were hairy, the arms were hairy. Then I realized that this wasn't an extreme closeup picture of a thickly-bearded someone sucking on a magic wand, it was a wand in a goddamn horrifying vagoo!

    The entire thing was self-shot, no mirrors. The ass-shots actually had dingleberries.

    I was nauseated, but decided I wasn't going to break our streak. I added pimples, lesions, I even shopped in some real horrors from a dermatology website. It was slow that weekend, so we had time to really lay it out this time. My pal and I were actively grossing each other out. One day he got me with his version of the vagoo shot (now with extra cheese!) and I couldn't eat for the rest of the night.

    So then she shows up to pick up her pictures. I actually had her pick-up slip in hand before I realized who it was. You know what? She actually looked decent. Despite my job making subtle changes to things, I hadn't even thought that a little makeup, a little more attention to how she looked, a change in clothes could do to a person. Maybe it was because I'd spent the last few days horrifying myself and she looked that much better in comparison, maybe it was the way she was blushing and avoiding eye contact.

    I didn't have the heart to give her the pictures back. I told her a power surge over the weekend, said we'd lost a lot of stuff. She did ask if I'd seen them, and I mentioned I had. Since it was slow, I had my friend cover for me while I bought her a coffee. When I got back, he asked who the chick was. I told him and he freaked out.

    Anyway, now we're married and she's having my kid.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:30 No.4418870
    He didn't even finish?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:32 No.4418887
    >This isn't copypasta.

    IT IS NOW.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:35 No.4418910
    Now I'm no prude when it comes to this sort of thing, I like to think of myself as an open minded person when it comes to sex, I am familiar with /d/ after all. Honestly after all the time I've spent hanging around 4chan I thought there was nothing left that could scar me, that I was now a jaded veteran of filth.

    I was wrong.

    It wasn't how ugly those involved were that affected me, I'm not proud to say I've always been someone who aims low in order to avoid disappointment and I've had my share of dogs in the kennel if you know what I mean. Nor was it the level of taboo that was being broken, water sports and scat with a little light sadomasochism to boot, nothing I hadn't seen before. Even the two facts together weren't that bad, in fact it seems to me that ugly people gravitate towards these extremes to excite some sexual spark in each other.

    All considered it shouldn't of affected me the way it did, my buddy certainly didn't seem to react beyond his jubilation at finding his "holy grail" after all. However there was something about these photos that haunted me from the moment I saw them, esoteric little details that went noticed by my companion yet screamed in the vaults of my mind.

    A seemingly cast away feral look right into the camera. Little items....

    (aw fuck it I can't be bothered to go on, I'm sleepy. It was going to be the whole "Then I realized, she was a bear" thing. Someone else can finish it.)
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:45 No.4418995
    I didn't know how she got them.

    They looked like they were taken right outside my window. I rarely change in front of it, but she somehow managed to capture one of the few times I did.

    At first, I didn't even recognize the person as myself, until I saw the Map of Faerun I keep on the wall of my room. Ignoring how much of a geek I had to be to first notice a fantasy map instead of a naked picture of yourself, I just completely freaked out.

    I couldn't tell my friend. The creepy fuck would probably want to look at the pictures, and I sure as hell wasn't going to show him. So, I had to figure out how to deal with this creepy stalker myself. If she was going to come back next week, I at least knew where and when she was going to be.

    Costco is an amazing store. You can literally find anything there. Including bear traps, fishing line, tape, and more cans of cooking spray in a package than you could use in a lifetime. And, I had plenty of experience (in terms of time and points) as a trap setting rogue.

    When she came to pick them up, I just stood a little further away from the counter than usual as I handed the pictures. She leaned just the slightest extra bit forward, and her enormous gut triggered the fishing line.

    The bear traps dropped down, one on her extended arm, the other aimed for her shoulder. They landed perfectly, snapping shut and crushing the four PAM cans I had put in their teeth. She started to scream as she was quickly engulfed in sheets of spraying oil, and I was already phoning for the ambulance, pretending to be panicked.

    The final oversized bear trap noticed it's cue, and dropped from the ceiling. It landed right on her head, silencing her as it snapped shut with just enough speed and force to produce the slightest spark.

    As she became engulfed in flames, I simply watched on.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)00:59 No.4419109
    They were hot. Very hot. Just so long as you kept away from the face. Under those baggy clothes and that winter coat she'd been wearing she was quite smokin'. An assanine butterface, if there ever was one.

    Fortunately, my friend had been on break when she dropped them off. I saved most of them, cropping out the face when possible, and using the photoshopping capabilities at my disposal I added timestamps. The variety of poses made things all kinds of things possible.

    That night I posted them on /B/, pretending to be a attention-starved camwhore. It was a bigger rush than I ever got pretending to be a rogue or a dwarf. I actually managed to fill seven different requests, like rubbing jello on my tits or biting a nipple, everything else I just told the /b/tards they were silly or stupid.

    So I came to tell you, /tg/. I have been the little girl, and it was GREAT!

    Oh, and I ended up showing my friend the pictures and he says she's a tiger in the sack, even if he can't keep it hard when she's going down on him because she's so damn ugly.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)01:12 No.4419213
    I never thought she would have the mark of EcafRekoj
    upon her. It was obvious now why she had been taking pictures of the men laughing. She was of a member of the cult of He of the Everlasting Pleasure, a hedonistic society that seeks nothing more than to live life surrounded by happiness.

    I had encountered the group before. As a D&D player, you tend to find your way towards more self-serving paths, and I thought this one might not be too bad. Enjoying other people's happiness might even be seen as noble.

    But EcafRekoj was not a noble entity. He sought no true happiness, simply laughter and merriment, regardless the reason. Members would practically enslave the weak minded into playing games until they lost everything else. I had quickly seperated myself from the group, hoping I could truly cut all ties.

    But now, she was beckoning for me to join her. The mark on her thigh, a disgusting shape upon another, with no one to tell which was worse, was an invitation to return to the path of He who Laughs.

    I quit the next day. I feel sorry for the four fools she has taken into her bonds, but I can't risk myself to fall under the cult's control.

    It's a pity I wasn't able to warn my friend... he's now their bard.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)01:16 No.4419241
    I'm suprised at the quality of all these.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)01:26 No.4419296
    Dear god, I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)01:37 No.4419384
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    I don't know, but it's beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/09(Tue)01:45 No.4419459
    But it's not like you'd think. They were actually tastefully done. They seemed like married couples from different walks of life, all naked, and not having sex or anything. Just cuddling, holding each other, standing back to back or resting a head on a shoulder. They looked happy, content. The actual photography was top-notch too, the lighting was natural and there wasn't any lens flare or red-eye. Most of them were set against a light blue wall.

    My friend and I went to work. He did cosmetic touch-ups, I added backgrounds. This older couple were now sitting on a park bench, the gay couple was standing unnoticed in a crowd, the black couple were lying on a beach. I'm particularly fond of that one, my pal even managed to put a few grains of sand in the husband's facial hair.

    When she showed up, she was very nervous and didn't make eye contact. She didn't even say 'thank you' like she normally did.

    So we went back to the usual stuff. More wizards and stuff, but there were more naked couples here and there, and we gave them the same treatment as the full set from before. She asked me my name, and asked if I had been the one that changed her pictures. I admitted to it, but pointed out my friend had helped (he was sticking a hanged man into the far background of a family picnic at the time).

    So anyway, she came in again today. She hands me one of the photograph envelopes we put photos in for pickup, and tells me her photography is being displayed in some museum upstate, and she' just got a book deal. I congratulate her and casually peek inside the envelope.

    Ben fucking Franklin stares out, standing in line with a bunch of his brothers, his mouth twisted in that wierdly disapproving way. As my knees start to shake, she tells me she's in a five book contract, and she needs our help.

    The last time I saw the inside of that CostCo, my pal was half-carrying, half-dragging me by my shoulder, asking me whether we should bother packing.

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