>>43490968Are they meant to correspond to MTG lands?
>>43490968That's an awful lot of land for dwarves. Though the idea of a huge high fantasy world thats divided up among the races by geography is cool.
>>43491015Dammit I looked straight at his crotch.
>>43491015What am I looking at here?
>>43491369Fucking Bob. Fucker owns that farm out in the hills, doing weird shit with gnolls.
>>43490968>Segregation of sapient speciesI bet they're each monocultural, too. Except for humans, who will show up in every land with different cultures each time.
Want to trade?You must go through Bob
>>43491523I shit in his toilet, as is my elven custom. I prepared by eating the everlasting bark surprise all week.
>>43491551This knife'ears are crazy i tell you
>>43491587At least he didn't get Rotshrubs and do it. Else we'd -all- have to move.
>>43491587You would shit a brick if you saw what the dwarves leave behind.
>>43491619Is that what the dwarves leave behind?Shat out bricks?
>>43491633That would explain how fast they build their damn holds
>>43491676They should rape all the Gnomes, to death.
>>43491713Well, the little buggers can fix the barn in no time, even if it blows up a few times.
>>43491879>>43491676Bob is the only one who can stand up to the goat rape gangs, thats why his traderoutes are so much more preferable to those that go between the two territories.
>>43491867Eh, the Gnome rape squads just seem to moving in on the elves, and they don't count.These fucking goat shaggers, on the hand, must be dealt with. With extreme prejudice.
>>43491676>either go through Bob's ostentatious toll fees or brave the Goatmen RapeplainsThat explains how he gets away with charging so much.
Should we be worried?
>>43490968why would the goats not live on the mountains if the dwarves live inside them? What's even the point of being a goatman if you're not spending your days scaling mountain sides in the nude with only your long hair as protection from the elements?
>>43492070A very, very long war with the dwarves, which they lost.In their impotent rage, many Goatman rape-gangs have sprouted up, seemingly trying to fuck everything into submission to gain enough bodies to throw at the dwarves and drive them out.Or because goatmen are some seriously horny fuckers.
>>43492014Nah, Bob is fine. Don't know about elves or humans, and couldn't care less. Bob and his toll booth are more important.
>>43492070Rape seems to be the answer
The prophesies speak of this
>>43492154is the human life really destined to be one of only suffering?
>>43490968It's vanilla as fuck. Not that should dissuade you, but jesus christ, did you really need to get confirmation on this?
>>43492172Nay, they have Bob
>>43492226Bob is the hopes and dreams of Mankind.
>>43492154>>pregnant elf queenGo on.
>>43492253All hail the champion of mankind, Bob!
>>43492282>tfw Bob's ridiculous tariffs and tolls were so he could fund all the things needed to wage an all out war with the enemies of mankind
>>43492332Or he's just powerful little prick sitting in his toll booth, collecting money.Stories are many.
>bob was a pretender
>>43492393Is Bob the largest Frost Giant in existence?
>>43492253>Bob is the hopes and dreams of Mankind.I hear he's actually a female Illithid maid...
>>43492393Where did the elite Gnome rapists go?
>>43492434Stealth mode activated
>>43492434They went into hiding. Soon, they will reappear where you least expect them
>>43492434They're elite for a reason.
Where are all the elven stealth archers
>>43492409Maybe, then the everyday Bob in his small hut in the middle of the forest, that likes to sit near the fireplace with an open smile is just a facade.Just so the world could forget the last of the Frost Giants.
>>43492393But why are the dwarves sad?
>>43492497You can't see them stupid, they're stealth!
>>43492520Because they're manlets, which means they have small penises.
Oh shit son
>>43492559CRAB PEOPLE CRAB PEOPLE
>>43492154das my fetish
What's this the dwarves have constructed?
>>43492729>It's this time againI miss /tg/ chess. When's the last time we had one of those threads?
>>43492729BIG DWARVEN RAPE FACTORIES
Yep, it's death by magma.
Bobbadil is Master.
can someone explain whats going on with the picture?
>>43492892Looks like Bob just lost his legs, what a tough son of a bitch
>>43492892>still no sign of the ELITE GNOME RAPISTS
>>43492892Why dwarves, why? We were your best trading partners!
>>43492958They'll be back.
>>43491398Hey, it gets lonely out there, with nothing for gnolls for company. A man can start to see their women in a different light...
>>43492958>>still no mention of the PREGNANT ELF QUEENwhy live
d e d ?ed?
>>43490968Somebody, please archive this shit.
>>43494153>Fuck the archive, I just want OP to come back
>>43494232Well, yeah, there had to be one somewhere.
>>43491039Goatmen in folklore are pretty much always rapists for whatever reason, it's only natural
>>43494273Are goats unusually rape-y creatures? Where does this come from?
>>43494302Greek Satyrs.IRL, goats are just jerks.
>>43494302Pan, which is also where the "Satan is a half goat and fucks everything" came from.In real life goats are cunts, but as someone who owns one I don't think they do a lot of fucking. They do jerk off into their own beards though.
>>43494463>They do jerk off into their own beards though
>>43494463How do they even pull that off? All they've got to work with are cloven hooves.
>>43494463At first I just skimmed your post and thought we were still talking about wizards.>Wizards jerk off into their own beards.
>>43494978>In real life wizards are cunts, but as someone who owns one I don't think they do a lot of fucking.seems legit.
>>43494232I bet you he scrys on the pregnant elf queen in the shower.I know I would.
>>43494978So are the wizards on this map goatmen who have failed to rape anyone by the time they hit 30?
>>43492253Everyone laughed at Bob when he established his kingdom in the far hills...
>>43495415They don't call it the lonely wizard masturbation tower for nothing.
>>43495416More like 3 weeks and they develop magics but it disappears with the first rape baby.
>>43490968A nice picture is ruined.
>>43494273That's just people projecting their goat-lust onto mythological creatures.
>>43495415She's the queen and she's pregnant, she wouldn't be taking a shower. She would obviously have her suitors and potential baby daddies giving her a sponge bath as she lays back and eats grapes.
>>43490968>Thoughts?Dorf master race
>>43492225I will never cease to be amazed at how some fa/tg/uys really need validation on their bullshit. Who cares what we think? It's your fucking creation, own it.
>>43497422>Implying her baby daddy's aren't the elite gnome rape squadWhat do you think they've been up to ever since they disappeared from the elf/gnome border?
>>43490968Should be more dwarves.
>>43497998What if they've climbed up into the pregnant elf queen to dig for babies?
>>43499004Mining elven monarchs for babies; truly a perilous task suited for only the most elite of gnomish rape squads.
>>43499070The dwarves saw the opportunity, but negotiations ground to a halt after their recent escapades with deadly magma traps cost the life of one too many trees. Consent for the drilling operation was never obtained, an obstacle their closest rivals, the Elite Gnome Rapists, were easy to overcome.Because they're rapists.
>>43499193Ah the rape gnomes have established an educational facility. Most commendable.
>>43492965They are offering you fertile lands!
>>43499193>Dorfs not accepted
>>43499272Human ashes makes great soil for greens, I hear.
So when are the goats and gnomes going to have a rape-off to determine who is really the most elite?
>>43491031>Though the idea of a huge high fantasy world thats divided up among the races by geography is cool.This has been the case since Tolkien f a m.
>this threadI love you /tg/. I'm sorry I ever went to /his/. Please take me back.
>>43499193>>43499265It's probably a trap. But no, go on. Walk into the dark building built by the EGRs.
>Bob owns shit tons of land>Jim is nowhere to be seenc'mon now
>>43499265So that's where they went off to, perhaps now the scattered remnants of humanity have chance! They can learn rape skills from the most learned of rapists, and use them to counter rape the rape squads of goatmen. Praise Bob, the great protector and guardian of mandkind!
>>43499507Look, we've all just come to accept that Jim is Bob's "special roommate." No need to point it out.
>>43499557>special roommateall this rumors were started by the rape goats to discredit Jim and Bob!everyone knows Jim knocked up the Elf Queen
There be gold on dem hills
>>43499446How was it over there? I find the history threads on /tg/ pretty interesting , even though I know nothing about the subject usually.
>>43499604FUUUUUUUU-DID THESE BEARDED CUNTS NOT LEARN FROM THE MAGMA?!
>>43499581That was a secret semen-stealing operation conducted by the fanatical Sad Dwarves to birth the fabled Gay Elf King of the Trimmed Forest. LOOK AT THE GIANT GLORY HOLE THEY'RE DIGGING FOR THE NEW KING TO FILL
>>43499623Silly human is in denial. The magma wasn't an accident. They are not your "dwarf bros", they tried to wipe you all off the face of the map. Get used to it.
>>43499613Let me give you some idea.>liberals>leftists>Marxist>gb2reddit>gb2tumblrIt's sad because there's a lot of potentially good threads getting shitposted to hell.
>>43499604There be treasure in these caves
>>43499689i blame /pol/. They shitpost on so many threds that it makes everyone crazy and start talking politics
>>43499711It's pretty much always /pol/s fault. Not joking, they are the conceptual embodiment of shitposting given form.It was always expected that they would strangle /his/ in it's cradle, but goddamn if it wasn't sad to see happen.
Can we get back to the subtle political intrige at hand? I wanna know how deep this glory hole goes...
>>43499831They're revisionist by nature. They feel a spiritual connection to their ancestors, hence history must support them. They fucking suck. A prime example of that kind of thinking is in Japan with their WW2 war crime omissions.
>>434928927 is the most hilarious number.
Most important thread on /tg/ right now to be honest.Need more updates.
>>43492225The point is the goat rape krew story going on right now.
A new challenger emerges. An old enemy returns.
>>43499449>It's probably a trap.>I'm_glad_I_put_it_in+datface.jpegReally an0n, how lewd of you.
>>43499689Now we know how conservatives used to feel like in the 2000s.
>>43499139Also gnomes don't have very broad shoulders like dwarves, so that helps.
Dawn of the First Day-72 Hours Remain-
>>43504420These shenanigans have awoken Frank.And he is not pleased.
>>43504781FUCK, sorry, one moment
>>43504781Frank casts off his cloak and gets ready to rumble.
>>43504781I wouldn't want to be the scrying wizard right now...
>>43504864Could be worse, he could be in the Gnomes' position.
>>43499193AXSIESEL GOD DAMN IT>>43504862What the fuck is even happening here?
Goatmen genocide when?
I can't be the only person who's noticed the Gnomes digging too deep into the Elven Queen, right?
>>43505340Eh. It's a living.
>>43505340Most of us don't have an unbirth fetish so we try to ignore it.
>>43505340There are no gnomes inside the Queen. Move along.
>>43505340That's all according to Frank's plan.When they get deep enough, their essences will be subsumed by that of the queen, and a standard gestation period later Frank will have a bunch more queens.
>>43505500So Frank is the one behind all those Vore Succubus threads.
>>43505564Yes.Frank is aiming to condense all of existence into a single succubus waifu, mindbreak her, then shatter her into billions of succubus waifus, each different due to once being different parts of the whole.Then, Frank will use his succuwaifu army to conquer world after world, universe after universe, reality after reality, until all of existence bows it's head to the almighty elf king.
>>43505439Wait, most people DON'T have an unbirth fetish?
>>43505091Who's doing the [spoilers]genociding[/spoilers]?
>>43505671>>43505636>>43505564>>43505500Welp, it was good while it lasted.
>>43505775Don't lose hope dear Anon. For Bob wathches over us!
>>43506042The time fast approaches when Bob and Frank shall meet on the battlefield to decide the fate of the world.
>>43506360After like 50 episodes of charging up.
>>43506360Bob is not real.He is just a wooden prop put up by pixies!Fake Bob is the real Bob!
>>43507088WAKE UP SHEEPLE
DONT LET THIS DIE PLEASE
>>43507088Real Bob maybe real, but Fake Bob helps us builds nukes. I'm cool with either really.
>>43508575I wont, for that would be betraying Bob's trust.
>>43506042>>43506360>>43508660Truly there are still heroes left in mankind
Bob will make everything right. You'll see.
>>43510763Hold up a second, that post is a re-written copypasta! In the original, the guy was coming out about his love of anal vore.Unless this one is the original, and what I saw was the edit...
Where's the application form to join the cult of Bob?
>>43499193Are these the Interracial Breeding Grounds I've heard so much about?
>>43515220>cult of BobHeretic!Only 'The True cult of Fake Bob' can show you the 'Way'!
>>43504781Ch'adondriel the Cock-Thunder
>>43515220The Black Lodge. You need fear to enter.
>>43498029Boku no Read the Artist's Signature
>>43492892>bob the legless
>>43519324Ok, but now this needs the Uber Ziege-Mensch for balance.
>>43499623>Le fuu raeg face memeStop.>>43519861>Youcouldhavestoppedthis.jpeg
>>43519936the fun never ends
***Ubermensch uses Frost Breath******It's super effective!***
>>43520354thank you Ubermensch, savior of mankind
>>43520354think of all the people that would of died had it not been for him.
>>43520354thank you Ubermensch-sama
>>43520354Now use the murderous revenge terror weapons on the interpsecies rape school and goatmen! We can allign with the halfling outcast party to strike at the elves from two fronts!
I have no idea what the fuck is going on here but I am loving it
>>43526897Bob, that is what is going on here.
Dawn of the Second Day. -48 Hours Remain-
>>43529047YOU FOOLNOW THE GOATMEN ARE FREE TO HEAD NORTH AND RAPE AGAIN
>>43529302But we're free to retaliate with the weapons we created with Fake Bob! The combined might of man, Real Bob, Fake Bob, and ubermensch is unstoppable!
>>43529302>>43529399YOU FOOLS, BY FREEZING THE MAGMA WE AWAKENED THE MONKEY OF DOOM! THE CREATURE THAT DESTROYED THE SHEEPMEN!
>>43492434Who do you think made that elf queen pregnant? Her faggy elven guard?
>>43529520Hang on, I have an anti monkey stick here.
>>43529520In the depths below the deepest mineshafts something has awoken. It is not pleased with the current state of things
>>43530114When are Bob and Frank going to tag team the moon with Uber coming outta nowhere?
>>43529899Are you calling Frank a fucking kekold?
>>43530114I want a refund, this last dlc was shityou can't even romance the tentacles, this is bullshit
>>43530114Wait, wait, this works out for us. The elder thing and the monkey of doom will collide and destroy one another. Problem solved!
>>43532396You just had to fucking say that they'd destroy each other, now one's going to feast on the other or they're going to assimilate each other or whatever and it's going to be some unholy fusion
>>43532396>>43532497Whoever wins, we lose.
>>43533700Just in time to get crushed by that ugly fucking moon thing bearing down on them.
>>43530114Our only hope is if Real Bob, Ubermensch, Frank, and some fourth big dude beat the shit out of the monkey, the mountain creature, and then push the moon back.
>>43534887So... If I'm interpreting this correctly, You're saying that we need a big guy?
>>43535083>You're saying that we need a big guy?for everyone
>>43535325if it took off that spoiler, would it hurt?
But why are the dwarves sad?
>>43535390It would be extremely painful
>>43535432The dwarves are sad because they can't enter the rape academy. That sentence will likely never be used again.
Being the only civilization not affected by any major disaster or overcomplicated plans, THE GOATMEN develop advanced tech.
>>43536718Based on rape goods and rape accessories
>>43536718I HOPE THEY INVENTED EFFICIENT COUNTERS FOR WMDS, BECAUSE WE'RE ABOUT TO NUKE THOSE GOAT FUCKERS BACK TO THE STONE AGE. IT'LL BE THE SHORTEST CIVILIZATION EVER.
>>43536775You don't understand, they have harnessed the power of rape.In their hands in particular that is equivalent to perpetual motion.
>>43536804How will mankind compete with that when all it has is are it's murderous revenge weapons? There is only one way. Gentlemen, we must find a way to weaponize rape on a hitherfore unheard of scale if we are to survive.
/tg/ - Rape Jokes
>>43537091The entire internet - rape jokes
>>43537091It's simply delicious how you think that should embarrass us somehow.
>>43537091Found the elf.
>>43537091Enjoy your stay.
The bombs start falling.ETA: 10 Hours
>>43538772REAL BOB WILL SAVE USSTOP THAT BOMB, BOB!
The lonely wizard uses his specialty:BIGBY'S VELVETY GRASPING HAND OF DELIGHT!All those years practicing on other vaguely cylindrical objects really payed off!But where will he redirect the bomb tooooo?*DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUN*
>>43540608The moon! The moon!
>>43540817That...didn't quite work.It might just mean double the boom once the moon falls.
>>43541034>there are now two bombsThis situation might just be the only thing that wizard has ever fucked.
>>43541034Is that a second bomb falling that I see there? Use it! Destroy the moon!
>>43541072No no no. Throw it at the OTHER bomb.Trust me. I know my shit.
SON OF A BITCH!
>>43541155Tell the moon that with bombs in it's eyes, it looks like a slug, with it's eyes on stalks. Maybe it will become embarased and run away.
>>43541155All that "research" wasn't all that good for the wizard's eyesight.
Thanks guys, I'm going to make campain about Bob.
>>43541267Wasn't too good for the moon's, either!
I fucking love this board sometimes.
>>43541267>>43541351The gnomes did such horid things. So terrible. Removing eyebals was the only way.
Can we sticky this thread? Just for a day?
>>43541550Do you want a board full of stickied generals? That's the precedent you'd be setting.
>>43541155Immediate danger out of the way, the paranoia begins: who dropped the bombs? Nations begin building defensive walls to keep out potential attackers.
Gnomes are the worst "core" fantasy race.In Warcraft they're just halflings, only gay. In D&D they're primarily foresty faggots, but everyone thinks of them more as steampunk clockpunk assholes. In Tolkien, they don't even exist.
>>43542252>implying the goatmen would build walls to stop themselves from raping
>>43542391>implying the goatmen are the ones who built the wall
>/tg/ in charge of playing chess
>>43542290They need a new gimmick, something to make them unique. Maybe /tg/ can create something "clever" and "original"Do they walk on all fours by night and turn into stone by day?Can they fly, just a little?Is their society based around the veneration of statues they think might just be big gnomes?Are they generally dour and miserable but genetically vulnerable to stimulants, often getting addicted to drugs?
>>43542391>>43542527The goatmen use their advanced technology to develop flight, with which they launch a new terrifying rape offensive against the elves!
>>43542252TFW the goatmen elected Trump
>>43542540>chessI thought we were playing Catan.
>>43542746The elves will be fine, all they have to do is use there elf trickery to redirect the flight path to someone else.
Dawn of the Third Day- 24 Hours Remain-
>>43542290>In Tolkien, they don't even exist.Well, they never existed in the sense of silly short fairy people that live underground or in trees, that niche got filled by Hobbits and Dwarves.But the Noldor, the high elves, were originally called "Gnomes" in the earlier versions of the legendarium. They were the basically same as you see them in the Silmarillion and LotR, but I assume Tolkien used the term to distinguish them from Grey elves.Noldor like to build castles, smith fabulous metals, and weren't opposed to dwelling underground, so I can see how they could be thought of as gnomish. They're definitely different from the forest dwelling Grey elves. Tolkien probably dropped the word Gnome because he didn't want readers to accidentally think Noldor were shortstacks.Anyways, in Hermetic alchemy, Gnomes are identified as creatures representative of the element of Earth. Salamanders being fire, Slyphs being air and Undines/Nymphs being water. Since nowadays Dwarves have totally captured the market on earth affinity, that generally leaves gnomes shit out of luck.Personally I prefer Gnomes as earth elementals, and Dwarves being some other thing that just happens to like smithing. Alternatively, Gnomes are acceptable as a branch of dwarves, potentially with either Halflings, Gnomes or Dwarves being a hybrid of the other two.
>>43543747Judging from where the moon is going, Elf Queen has booty enought to atract celestial objects.
>>43543747Well, that's it. We had a good run.
HalflingSexual Students take over the Rape Schooland ban all rape.At the same time they invite a Goatmen Delegationto a conference discussing how unjust it is for them to not be allowed into the Elflands to rape.
>>43543826> Alternatively, Gnomes are acceptable as a branch of dwarves, potentially with either Halflings, Gnomes or Dwarves being a hybrid of the other two.Well, fuck, gnomes being half-halfling and half-dwarven actually kinda makes sense to me. But would Moradin ever allow it?And if a human and a halfling procreate, does it make a quarterling or a threethirds-ling?
>>43543956Fuck, I mean threequarters-ling.
>>43543955>to a conference discussing how unjust it is for them to not be allowed into the Elflands to rape.Wait, so the halflings want to get in on the elf-rape offensive, or do they want to stop the Goatmen from raping the elves?
Halflings just want to help the Goatmen culturally enrich the Elves.
>>43543956Idk, depending on how friendly the populations of halflings and Dwarves are, it could be a mess of mixed races. Which could be fun. Kinda like how white people love to list off every fraction of european ancestry they have.It could have interesting implications for character creation. By picking the "short race" you basically get to choose what proportion of three possible racial passives you want. You could double down on the dwarfish resistance passive, or settle for a general spread of halfling sneak, gnome tinker, and dwarf resist.
>>43543956>And if a human and a halfling procreate, does it make a quarterling or a threethirds-ling?Just a run of the mill manlet. Where do you think they come from?
>>43544142>Kinda like how white people love to list off every fraction of european ancestry they have....White Americans.
>>43544428I figure thinking of yourself as a white person is more of an american thing anyways. I would assume euro's identify more with their country than their whiteness.
>>43544530Absolutely true.In Europe, your skin color is irrelevant, but Nationality? Damn, that's enough to get beaten in the street over.
while all this happening, human king sends human spies to bobland
but why would he send spies? arent they allied?maybe bob is hiding something
>>43544644I think they are spying on the real Bob and humans are allied with the fake Bob.Unless that is just the extended universe and not canon.
>>43544602We can save this land!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB_sZA2pJdc
>>43544748>>43544644Nah, the former human King, who survived the lava in a magic bunker with his inner cadre, is plotting to retake power from the Bob+FakeBob Theocracy.
>>43544811>implying the remnants of the human kingdom hasn't been taken over by crab people by now.
>>43544602Exactly how deep are the gnomes by now? I'm starting to get worried.
>>43544894"Damn, they saw through our disguise!"
>>43544894But what it the old king secretly was a crab person that sought to enslave humanity but was thwarted by dwarven magma?
>>43492729They seem to have constructed the lord of the land map icon from Tales of Zestiria. I'm not sure why. Are they propitiating the seraphim now?
>>43545114>>43545134The dwarfs tried to save us, but their efforts only delayed the crustaceans.
>>43545179>the dwarves were right all along
>>43545004Seriously, we ignore the elite gnome mining and rape squad for too much longer it might spell trouble. What secrets have they uncovered in the pregnant elf queens insides? Except goatman semen ofcourse.
With absolutely no resistance the gnomes are able to develop advanced technology within the elf queen based on perpetual rape technology.
>>43545678You'd think Frank would be against this, but you'd be wrong. The high tech only makes it feel better.
>>43545678Will the Gomes compete with the Goatmen for rape energy exportation like modern day countrys with oil?
>>43529520>Penguin of DOOOOOOM*lifts spork*Can we not?
>>43545678It is around this time the gnome mining/rape/tech squad reveal the queen isn't pregnant at all. Only fat.However the newly formed gnomish nation seeks to fix this.
>>43545875Forgot pic.Also the bear grows impatient.
I don't even know what this thread became but it is kinda cringe worthy.
>>43546457Kinda. At 292 posts, I think it's about time things came to a close
>>43546457It is rather funny. It is the bathroom tile quest of Civ games.
THEN SUDDENLY ORCS EVERYWHERE!!!!
>>43546794Nah, even the orcs would take one look at this and want no part of it.
Gnomes should be by dwarves and they should be bros who use similar tech for different things and for different reasons.Goats should be off on their own, since they're probably the most "exotic".Elves and humans should have open land only sparsely populated between them.
>>43543008Do you Catan, anon?
>>43546457Just embrace your inner child man
>>43547385Not since that night in Paris, anon...
Don't just do the furry thing with gnomes, elves, and dwarves.Get more creative, or maybe pull up something more broad but interesting, like 3.5 goliaths.
>>43543826It should be noted that Tolkien called them Gnomes as a pun on their gnomish qualities and on the ancient Greek word for knowledge.
>>43548454It was AAAALLLLLLLLLL a dream!
>>43548454And thus the world repelled all sentient beings to protect itself. Now all that lives are the winds and the rivers, leaving no being capable of rape.
>>43548829The world raped everyone to death.
>>43548829Not visible, Elite Gnomes.
>>43548525>all a dream>no giant alarm clock. Anon, I am disappoint.
>>43548525>>43548829Jumped the shark.
>>43548829>RoadsWhat could it mean?
>>43549058And that would be Bob, I assume?
>>43549374No, it's Andy. Who the fuck is Bob?