What are some of your favorite Everyone is John scenarios and goals?
>>42828741>John is a Stand User
>>42828741>John is an insane PC after the end of a Call of Cthulhu or Dark Heresy campaign
>>42828741personally a fan of>Everyone is Gabriel Angelos
>>42828760Ahhh man. I played a round of "Everyone is John" with my friends and the group that played it was awful. We started in a really boring setup, someone "played to win" by having really stupid common stuff as their point gainer, another guy just said it was stupid the whole way through. I wish my friends weren't such sticks in the mud to fun stuff like this because this idea alone sounds hilarious.
>>42828741One time my friend made John's goal to shove grapes up his ass and then poop them out on somebody. Another time a different friend's goal was to kill Bill O'Reilly on live television.Everyone needs to play this game at least once.
>>42828741John is administering a lethal injection to a texas death row inmate
My freinds pretended to be voices of Johns repressed ambitions that laid deep in his subconcious. He quit his job, gagged and tied up his boss, through an epic office party, banged his coworker/crush, escaped the police, through more epic parties, and at some point in the craziness wound up stopping an international crime ring, and became a hero which then led to him receiving a medal from a cop that has been chasing him through all these insane scenarios and hates his guts despite being secretly jealous. Good times
>>42828874The guy running the game, acting at john, as it were, should have absolute veto power over what skills/objectives a headvoice can have.It sounds railroady but remember this is a competitive game. It needs a strongly voiced neutral arbiter to function properly. Normally that's the rules, but in a roleplaying game rules are facilitators, not restrictors. Restriction has to come from the Gamemaster.For example, I have a permanent veto on "making john hallucinate" as a skill. If something is too common, I also disallow it. It has to have a specifier.Shoving things up your ass? Too general. Shoving grapes up your ass? Too passive, you win the moment you find grapes. Shoving grapes up your ass and then shitting them on someone? There we go. Specific, and Active, at minimum, with increases in difficulty/danger increasing the point value.A really good one is "commandeer a talk show"
>>42829276Yeah, sadly our DM who ran it wasn't very sold on the game either and let anything fly. I thought I picked a good one of "Obtain money from a famous person". The person who just wanted to prove how stupid the game was picked "opening a door" and the DM who wanted to hate the game as much as he did let it fly.
Does anyone have any game logs from a session of this?I've known about the game for years but never played, I'd love to read how an average session goes.
>>428306161d4chan has a good example run of the game. You can also look on youtube, though each video I've seen is good for one reason and sucks for another.
Best goal I ever had was too be the prettiest girl in school.
>>42831229That 1d4chan game the Voices spend more than 10 Willpower. What's up with that.And even then it seems to be extremely short. I guess in practice people bid/spend way less Willpower.
A year or two ago we played a flat-out amazing game, largely thanks to prep-work by our DM.He set up this whole scenario where John is a TSA agent, and looped us groundhog-day style through this well-mapped and NPC filled airport.We swapped objectives and skills several times, and went a fair number "shitting in strollers" and "burn them all" games, before we caught onto what I'd call the plot of the scenario, and finally ended with what I'd describe as "4chan prevents 9-11" sort of deal.It was quite fun, thought I admit it's far from the standard style of game.
>>42832997Please tell is more.
>>42833109>>42833420I'll see what I can throw together, can't give you every round in detail, but gimme a bit and I'll put together something.
>>42828741i beat a child to death with a monitor after i was unable to figure out a linux operating system. also someone kept impressonating everyones dad and murdering them
I GMed a session of the game with a group that had never played any PnP game except for one guy.The 60+ year old DJ set his goal as scoring a goal with the heel. His skills were being good at being God and playing soccer.The guy that had played tabletop games before set his goal as translating the dead sea scrolls and his skills as being good at opening doors and running.The third person had the goal of being socially active and the skills of being good at telling jokes and something else I've forgotten.The last player's goal I can't remember but he had the skills of being good at flying and something else.The game started out with John waking up and going to the railway station, finding 50 bucks and then willing himself to be God. He then went on to cure some lepers out in the world before the die went against him.He then woke up in a mental ward and the guy who wanted to translate the dead sea scrolls used the fact that John was now technically God to translate them in a flash. He then willed himself to no longer be God and broke his neck.John then found himself in the hands of gangsters, told a joke and then got killed.
So there were four of us playing voices plus the DM. We changed roles a lot, but after a while we settled into a few persistent voices. I'll get into those later.The first round was your usual game of Everyone Is John.John the TSA Agent was a moderately overweight, balding, white man, who manned a scan and grope post at the St. Louis airport. He was diligently waving people through the scanner, when a voice in his head commanded him to grab the crotch of the elderly woman he was currently frisking. This being a TSA checkpoint, no one even commented on John's behavior, and he returned to his duties. This lasted for only a few minutes before he was seized by a sudden desire to shove the contents of the change and keys dish up his nose, which caused considerably more commotion than the groping had.As three of John's fellow agents escorted him off to get the large key stuck in his nostril removed, John realized he was far too sober for this shit, and broke away. Within seconds he was in the duty free shop, chuggin overpriced liquor like it was water. When the agents that had been escorting him caught up, they attempted to aid the store clerk in prying John away, which would not do. John cracked a bottle across one agents face, then in a fit of rage, plunged the broken bottle into the clerk's chest.Things deteriorated quickly after that, but before the valiant agents of the TSA brought him down, John managed to stab and grope several more people, all while alternately taking pulls from his bottle and attempting to jam increasingly large objects up his nose.A short while later, John the TSA agent blinked as horrible wave of Deja Vu swept over him, then waved the elderly woman in front of him through the security scanner.
>>42834846This time, as John looked around, feeling like everything was eerily familiar, he noticed that the checkpoint next to his had just confiscated a very nice lighter. He casually sidled over, acquired the lighter, then applied it to a piece of luggage awaiting detailed inspection. John hastily left the area before the flames were noticed, pausing only to scream "FUCKING TOWEL HEAD" at a turban-wearing man going through the checkpoint. Several middle-easterners in the crowd seemed to take offence at this for some reason, but were distracted by a panicked yell of "FIRE" and the sprinkler system suddenly engaging.In the chaos that followed, John made his way over to where a mother was arguing with a flight attendant about getting onto the plane and away from the horrible rain of stagnant water, and relieved himself in the stroller sitting unwatched behind her. Even in the current panic this didn't go unnoticed, and once again the chase was on.As John ran around the airport, shouting racial slurs, lighting fires, and pulling no less that three small yappy dogs from their carriers and punting them like footballs, (but not finding any more unattended strollers) his TSA-trained eye noticed a few things. Specifically, that some of the "brownies" he screamed at responded by gripping at pieces of their clothing or luggage, and that these people seemed to be concentrated around Gate A10. Near the end of his rampage, which was ended by a terrified firefighter's axe, John noticed that the undesirables near A10 had vanished, as had the staff at that gate.>Will finish after I eats some foods
I was the GM.My group had john go around shitting on light poles and the other voice telling him to juggle chainsaws. He also played with fire and slit a womans throat because he was horny (the player chose serial killer of woman as his thing) and then went into a home depot and lit the place on fire before watching the world burn around him as he juggled chainsaws. It was a pretty entertaining game
>>42834846>>42834909Anyone care enough for me to finish this?
>>42834909So after the first two rounds had established the basic setting, we Johned around for a few more rounds. Some rounds were over quickly (these typically involved a voice that was particularly keen for John to draw his gun in the middle of the heavily-watched checkpoints) other rounds went a bit longer and John accomplished an impressive mix of bizarre actions, sexual assaults, killing sprees, and arson. Over time though certain voices, usually the one which drive John to the most impressive feats of insanity, began appearing more often and exhibiting greater control. These "persistent voices" were:>Billy-Bob the Racist RedneckHe was a master at shootin and drinkin, and his heart burned with a deep hatred for the gov'ment, lib'rals, and non-whites. He repeatedly drove John on selective killing rampages, but would also mix it up with drinking binges, and stealing the various vehicles on the tarmac.>Vulf the Ancient Norse BerserkerVulf was all about the rape, murder, arson and rape. Under his guidance John beat far-fitter men to death with his bear hands, battled to the death against a SWAT team with nothing but a fire-axe, and reenacted a proper viking funeral using a jet and a fuel truck.>Doug the Paranoid SurvivalistHe was a master of jury-rigging and booby-trapping. Usually Doug's whims were little things, like finding hiding places, or disabling surveillance devices, but he was the one who drove John to take over ATC tower and fortify it against the police. They eventually had to resort to a national-guard tank to get him out.>Professor Von Schnift, Doctor of Paranormal SciencesBlessed with an analytical mind and amazing observational skills, the Professor was the odd voice out, as he wasn't interested in mindless gratification. He drove John to explore the nature of the time-loop he was stuck in, sometimes by simply observing his environment, other times via more creative, and violent, means.
Bump for more stories and ending of this one.
>>42837321Over the course of John's various adventures, both he and the voices became aware of the underlying plot. The group of armed arabs at gate A-10 (which Billy-Bob ran afoul of multiple times) was only the tip of the iceberg, John ran into four other similar groups, all equipped with weapons and cutting tools that never could've made it through security.Down in the baggage processing area and maintenance tunnels, where John was hunting for leprechauns and delicious rats, he found dead TSA Agents and other Agents who were more prone to violence than usual and DID NOT being licked by John. While he was tearing around the tarmac in an airport firetruck (while naked and trying to sing along to Britney Spears on the radio), John began to notice an odd uniformity to the luggage on some of the trains moving around, and when he attempted to run one over, he was terminally surprised by the sheer volume of explosives inside. Finally, during John's Doug-inspired takeover of the ATC tower, he discovered the armed infiltrators mixed in with the controllers (who Vulf happily dismembered) and the jamming device hidden in a closet.While the other voices dragged John from depravity to depravity, stumbling over pieces of the terrorist plot as they went, the Professor probed the nature of the situation. He discovered John's inability to leave the airport, the pale man in a suit who always seemed to be watching John from windows or the back of crowds, and the time limit of four hours. Once, through an amazing effort of will, he even managed to force John to stay out of trouble and watch from the roof of the airport as the time limit ended.As five titanic explosions leveled the tallest buildings in St. Louis, and the pale man watched them from the top of the ATC. John, the Professor, and the three strongest voices came to an agreement.
Sorry this is taking so long, will finish when I get home from work.
>>42839657Take your time brother.
>>42830616>http://peachesandhotsauce.com/tag/everyone-is-johnI run my EiJ games pretty similarly to these and I've never had a game that didn't end up hilarious.
>>42838842After a few direct attempts led by Billy-Bob and Vulf, which ended in bloodbaths, it was decided that an actual plan was needed, and since we had all the time in the world to work out the kinks, we decided it might as well be a PERFECT plan. We would settle for nothing less than total victory. It took several cycles of information gathering, planning, and testing (admittedly we time-skipped and suicided a lot to speed things up), but eventually we pulled it off.From the perspective of everyone else at the TSA checkpoint, John called over a coworker to cover for him while he took a short break, and headed towards the luggage inspection station under the airport. On his way, he stopped by confiscated-materials storage area, and picked out the biggest, sharpest knife available. Then, guided by the voice of an ancient norse warrior and knowledge of his targets' exact locations, he hunted down the half-dozen TSA impostors and viciously murdered them. At this point Vulf relinquished control, and Doug stepped in.John stashed his victims bodies, confiscated their radios and phones, and headed off for where the five explosive-filled luggage carts were awaiting delivery. On his way, he ducked into a few maintenance closets, and picked up a collection of tools and parts which Dough said he needed. Once he was sure no one was watching, John opened a bag on each trolley, and began wiring makeshift detonators into each one, using the phones of the dead impostors. After hooking up the final detonator, John paused and waited for the single phone he hadn't used to receive a text, then sent back the countersign he'd memorized. Doug, satisfied that the bomb had been planted, turned over control to Billy-Bob, who commanded John to head back into the terminal and get a drink.
>>42841515After some hard drinking in one of the many bars which helped visitors cope with the horrors of an impending stay in St. Louis, John staggered to his feet. He headed out onto the tarmac, then up into one of the five planes via the exterior entrance. At Billy-Bob's urging, he called the stewardess a "filthy Chink" and messily vomited all over the staff-area and cockpit entrance. His work done, he scampered away, jumped into one of those airport golf-carts, and spend off towards the second plane. Behind him, the pilots and crew, exited the befouled plane while a janitor was called.At Billy-Bob's behest, John repeated this performance four more times, which he managed easily thanks to a brief refueling stop at the third plane's unattended mini-bar. His work done, he turned control over to Vulf, who commanded John back into the just-cleaned first plane, where he grabbed the Janitor by the throat. John dragged the struggling man into the terminal past a crowd of confused vacationers and armed terrorists, then raised him into the air, and threw him at the large rack of bottles at the duty-free store. While the crowd stood there stunned, Vulf ordered John to loot the janitor's lighter and toss the wounded man aside. A few seconds later the rapidly-spreading pool of alcohol went up in a FWOOSH, and John wheeled on the crowd.The brawl that followed was amazing. John, his pudgy face locked in a rictus of berserker rage, beat seven kinds of shit out of everyone he could lay hands on. The police were called, and airport security quickly came to check the disturbance, but the officers that reached John first hesitated at the sight of his uniform, and didn't immediately open fire. Vulf, seeing that his distraction had succeeded, ordered John to break a nearby window, and jump down onto a baggage cart.Back in the terminal, the terrorists decided that, with all this fuss and their bombs already being loaded, it was now or never, and quietly boarded their planes.
This story.It amuses me.
One time, I played in a game of Everyone is Jon where the voices all ended up cooporating. It was terrifying. My memory is a little fuzzy on it, but my voice's goal was "Dissect things", another person was playing as George RR Martin, and the third person just wanted to attack and eat things. I can't exactly remember what everyone's goals were, but I do remember what happened. The first parts of the game were a little fuzzy, but we got John off his ass and out into the world. He attacked some stray cats, ransacked an arts and crafts store and finally got injured in some sort of car accident. Memories fuzzy. So basically, bleeding and stuff, we end up at a clinic. And that's when things kicked off when George RR martin took control, we got into a room in private with a doctor, and we slit his throat. Everyone was fucking ecstatic. Me, Who was playing something of a mad scientist archetype, was now fully playing into the fantasy at hand, telling him how he should cut him open and remove his organs, and the third person who was sort sort of crazy jungle cat lady was telling him to eat the heart. We fucking butcher this man, and points are all gained, but we couldn't care less at this point. We ended up stealing his car, and going to the doctor's house to steal his life. We stabbed his parrot and the game ended when a swat team burst in and shot John to death.
>>42842560>the game ended when a swat team burst in and shot John to death.Has any game of EiJ not ended this way?
>>42842319Vulf switched with Doug, who guided John into an unoccupied maintenance tunnel. Summoning every ounce of speed in his doughy body, John sprinted towards the basement security post, where he sucker punched the man currently on duty. Before the guard could get up, Doug ordered John to loot the room's gun case and put a bullet through the camera-displays. As the guard staggered upright, John gathered up his weapons and scampered away down the tunnel which led to the ATC.At the final door to the control tower, Billy-Bob took over, and John readied his assault rifle with a vicious grin. The controllers in the tower screamed in panic as John burst in, shouting about damned turrists, and immediately shot three of them. After the initial shock had died away, and two would-be heroes were clubbed to the ground, John ordered the controllers to clear the runway and divert all flights. Mid orders, John's voice shifted from Billy-Bob's nearly-incomprehensible souther drawl to the Professor's crisp accent, confusing the hell out of the terrified controllers.The Professor guided John through a careful, calming speech (which had take three tries to get right), and the controllers settled down and watched as he pulled the weapons off the dead men and the jamming device from its closet. Suddenly far more willing to believe that John might be something more than just an armed lunatic, the controllers redoubled their efforts to divert flights. Unfortunately, five planes ignored their orders and began heading towards the runways, which caused a great deal of panic in the controllers. John's assurances that said planes were filled with explosives and piloted by terrorists did not help.As the controllers made panicked calls to the Air Force, John pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, and speed-dialed five numbers
>>42842766All four voices in John's head watched smugly as, out on the runway, five airplanes exploded into massive fireballs. The tower filled with cheers, and John lowered his rifle with a weary sigh. Almost unnoticed by the controllers, John descended the stairs and exited out onto the tarmac. As the door closed behind him, the pale, suited man stepped out of the tower's shadow and offered John his hand. At the Professor's command, John shook it and met the man's eyes, but did not speak. After a few seconds of eye contact, the pale man released his hand and smiled. He made a small gesture, and stepped backwards, vanishing from sight, but leaving a faint shimmer in the air where he had been.John eye'd the ripple of light dubiously, and then, at the urging of all four voices in his head stepped into it. He was never seen again, at least not in this dimension… but there ARE stories, and few people still believe that if Truth, Justice, and Reasonable Amounts of Freedom are ever threatened again, John will return. And probably take a dump in the nearest stroller.
>>42843072Well that took far longer than I'd planned, but there it is: the story of how my D&D group spent eight straight hours playing Everyone is John instead of finishing the arc we'd been working on for like half a year. Oh well, it was worth it. Hope the few of you guys in the thread enjoyed the story.
>>42843072What the fuck did I just read.Probably best storytime I've seen in a while.10/10, best John of the year, all Johns.
>>42843072>and probably take a dump in the nearest stroller.LOLD
>>42828741I've played "Everyone is John" once, and I was John.I had a player who spoke in a Scottish accent, who kept trying to put John's voice in moist places, and then immediately chastised John for being a creep.Another player's entire goal was to sabotage the other voices from achieving their own goals, but he mislead them all by making it look like his goal was to shoot people with a gun.It was a great game.
>>42843531shit*John's hand, not voice
>>42843072Ha, that's the best thing I've read all week. Kudos to your DM
Our last game ended with Joh riding into battle on the back of a Golden Grizzly bear wearing a Winnie the pooh shirt through one of those touristy Wild west city attractions.He then had a gun fight with the ghost of Marlon Brando.I was GMing. And I was also pretty hammered.
>>42844349Afterwards did you hold up a spork and tell everyone how le random you are?
>>42844395It made sense in context.They also killed Chris Tucker.That was one of the players obsessions though
>>42828741Had one game where a player became sheriff of a town, and proceeded to deputize every single person in that town one at a time.He drank 24 beers then brutally murdered every single horse in the town with his bare hands.John died fighting a horse with three legs and a trenchcoat who had come to avenge his horse brothers and sisters who were so mercilessly killed.killing horses wasn't a goal for any single player. it was just a thing that happened. over 20 horses were murdered.
Bump for more stories before I go to bed.
>>42829063John and his Headvoices' Day Off, basically?
>Roll to summon plane
Last time I played this game, I won a narrow victory. My skills were carjacking and martial arts, and my obsession was being the subject of a TV news story.I shined very brightly, very quickly.
Now stop me if you've heard this one, but what about an Inside Out-themed scenario?Everyone is Riley.
Welp, I can already tell this is gonna go up on Suptg.
>>42845978Eh, at least it's better than another fucking quest thresd
>>42846026Now you have gone and given people the idea to make a quest thread out of the game you jerk.
>>42846026Holy shit, I've got a serious case of Déjà vu right now.
>>42845673For some reason my mind immediately went to Everyone is Ripley
>>42831717If John falls asleep do to boredom/waiting a long period of time then everyone gains a willpower
>>42846026I'm gonna write up a scenario and host a everyone is Jon quest in about 23 hours. Hope you join my friend.
I had a chance to run Everyone Is John for my group on a night where we had a cancellation.My Voices were a mexican firebug, librarian lady who wanted to arrange large quantities of things, and John the Baptist, who wanted to kidnap and "baptize" passersby. They woke up in the back of an empty cop car with no handcuffs on in some side alley. The game was actually really fun.
>>42847157I'd play that.