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  • File :1239637761.jpg-(307 KB, 1280x1041, marines.jpg)
    307 KB NPC background Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:49 No.4269235  
    My party of Marines is being stationed at a large base. Never mind the setting. I'm looking for military archetypes to give the NPC some depth.

    I need enlisted men, officers, NCOs, guards, armory personnel, cafeteria staff, snipers, demo experts, tacticians, strategists, drivers, pilots, tank crews, artillery specialists, special forces, you name it. They should motivate, frustrate, facilitate, hinder, or complement the PC's development.

    What I am looking for are behavioral expectations, quirks, willingness to cooperate, private life and professional influence, all the things that give an NPC sheet plasticity.

    tl;dr: Describe military characters and how they behave.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:53 No.4269272
    The grumpy sergeant.
    He is impossible to please. You always know where he is, because he is constantly yelling at someone. The party should be afraid of him, not because he is dangerous, but because he is a force of nature.
    His military knowledge is infallible, but he won't share his opinions unless lives depend on it, and maybe not even then.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:54 No.4269283
    Ask some of the real /k/ommandos. I don't mean the retarded gun-nuts, I mean the few that actually are or have been in the army and know what they're talking about.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:54 No.4269284
    Hey, I'm military! I should know this, right?!



    Srsly, we're just people. Nothing overly remarkable or special. pick five people you know of and apply their personalities with any twists you require to make it more AWESOEM or SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:54 No.4269286
    The supply sergeant (technically rank of Staff Sergeant). Good luck trying to convince him that anything you need from him can't be improvised from your own stuff, even if all you have is an M16, an empty clip, some duct tape, and a water canteen.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:55 No.4269291
    >My party of Marines is being stationed at a large base.
    Space Marines?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:56 No.4269295
    Which is to say no one on /k/ at all.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:56 No.4269296
    military experience irl: drivers are always the laziest fuckers around and won't do anything unless told to by a superior
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:56 No.4269297

    I think the OP would know that, but is looking for more in-depth stuff (say, Private Whitcomb is a lifer where making NCO runs in the family, and yada yada yada). Not just military ranks and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:56 No.4269300
    eh, I could make a bomb out of that.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)11:57 No.4269302

    Either schematics or LIES!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:01 No.4269323
    Psychotic sniper

    His skills in camouflage and evasion used to be second nature to him, now they're his only nature. He's a quiet loner who only makes eye contact when starting a fight. His attention is ALWAYS beyond the perimeter, scanning for enemy snipers. He needs a spotter like he needs a line of cans on his ankle. The fresh meat he takes out on a mission has a high tendency to buy the farm right away.
    His problem is that under all that isolation he's actually quite mad and sometimes doesn't know why he does things. His death wish makes him take great risks for little gain. When out with a unit he can be a great asset, but also a dangerous loose cannon.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:03 No.4269337

    Just being practical, somebody like that would more than likely fail a psych test and probably get medically discharged sooner than later.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:07 No.4269365
    also moar military experience irl: being bogged down by the chain of command and people not fit of being in a commanding position, either through lack of ability or intrest.

    tl;dr incompetent officers/NCOs
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:07 No.4269370
    You just keep telling yourself that.
    In the military you find two types of people:

    Overly aggressive machismo fanatics on the verge of homo eroticism with a strong belief in bureaucracy and conformism,

    and misfits.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:08 No.4269374
    Tank crews are nine times out of ten, total dicks, more worried about getting their tank beat up than providing fire support to the grunts. I remember a sergeant getting into a red faced vein bulging screaming match with a pair of tank crews, trying to get them to put fire on a building full of snipers, but they kept complaining about possible IEDs, even though the area had just been cleared by the squad under fire. That was not a good day.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:08 No.4269375
    Zen Marksman
    Utterly professional, very quiet. Prefers to work alone whenever possible, as he believes a spotter is just another distraction. Prefers an accurate bolt-action rifle to anything else, so no fucking .50BMG Barrett wankery for him. IS something of a loose cannon, deviating from mission plans regularly, though he insists he is simply doing things more efficiently. Has avoided trouble with MPs.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:12 No.4269408
    If you can find a copy of the book or TV show, Generation Kill would probably be a great reference.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:12 No.4269414
    That may be true if none of the following apply

    He is a master of his weapon and no one can hit from a mile like he does.

    There is a war on and military specialists are in short supply.

    He's been with the unit for ever and every NCO, along with many officers and the commander, owe their life to him many times over.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:13 No.4269416
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:13 No.4269417
    >tl;dr incompetent officers/NCOs

    I guess I was lucky, but I never had an incompetent NCO. They were always old men of the company, knew their shit, and were genuinely worried about their marines. Mine was like my second father by the end of everything, and he was only like two years older than I was.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:15 No.4269433
    The Navy helicopter pilot. Mainly flies a transport helicopter, like the UH-60 for the US or Merlin for the UK, but also has hours on various other types.

    Detached from the Navy due to some bureaucratic cock-up to come and fly helicopters in [wherever your setting is].

    When there's hard work to be done, he'll always be right there chipping in, but complaining that this is bullshit that he shouldn't be mixed up in; when the bar's open, he's the first to get a round of beers in; and when the shit hits the fan, you know he's the one you want to be flying your evac mission.

    Just don't insult the Navy to his face.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:15 No.4269436
    What army? (nationality and branch)
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:15 No.4269439

    Holy crap, you just described the perfect Sergeant.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:18 No.4269456

    US, Marine Corps, 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marines.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:18 No.4269457
    Makes me think of Foe Hammer.

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:20 No.4269472
         File :1239639601.jpg-(136 KB, 768x1024, don konkey.jpg)
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    I like the psychotic sniper. But he needs to be more funny and heart warming. Have you seen Dirt on TV? There's one character there who can join my campaign any day.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:21 No.4269487

    Ding-ding-ding, we have a Sue.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:22 No.4269495

    Have fun

    See you in a few hours
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:22 No.4269497
    Father wanted me to join the US Army, but I got excused because of huge anxiety problems which I take massive amounts of Prozac for. Delicious meds.

    So expect high-ranking NCOs to be borderline psychotic if they care about you.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:23 No.4269500
    The few snipers I've known didn't disdain their spotters like I've seen represented here. They are a team and work as a team. I think to many Tom Beringer movies have been watched. Assuming we are talking more modern military snipers of course. Covert governmental and private contractor is a different story of course.

    I guess if we are looking for books/media for ideas then Jarhead isn't to bad, though the book is better than the movie.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:23 No.4269502
    This reminds me of battletech and the difficulty of getting players to risk their vehicles in combat. Turn into cowards when it's their own personal vehicles on the line.
    >> OP 04/13/09(Mon)12:26 No.4269524
    I don't mind Peggy Sue. I will use this thread as inspiration, not copy & paste it into my campaign.
    And I asked for archetypes. Don't worry about being too obvious, that's for me to sort out.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:26 No.4269526
    The Mechanic

    Not much of a frontline fighter, but he's been digging around in engines since before he knew what a gun was. Getting to mess with the guts of tanks and the like is like Christmas to him. Still, he loves those machines almost as much as their crews do, so bring 'em back in one piece if you want to stay on his good side.

    May or may not favor a shotgun as his primary weapon, depending on whether or not you like seeing your players facepalm.
    >> OP 04/13/09(Mon)12:29 No.4269540
    I have spent weeks on tvtropes, and yet I never found this section. Thanks. I'll catch up on it later.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:30 No.4269542

    No no, it's the Lieutenants who are psychotic. Not only are combat outfits the ones that get handed the chronic fuck-ups as a result of no one stateside wanting to deal with them anymore, but they get there and all of a sudden they all want to win fucking MEDALS.

    You know that scene in "We Were Soldiers" where the young sergeant runs off with his squad, and they all get blown away and cut off? Imagine a Lieutenant doing that with an entire fucking platoon. One day I was told "Try not to kill everyone, the LT wants us to capture some." I thought 'What the fuck? What did I join the Marines for anyway?', needless to say, I didn't SAY that. Still though, the fuck?
    >> Emma Watson-kun 04/13/09(Mon)12:32 No.4269551
    When I'm looking for personality of soldier types, I fall back on Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers, and Generation Kill to represent my standard warrior group.

    The green rookie, the hard NCO, the capable officer, the incapable officer, the guy who's always talks about home, his girl, his kid, etc.
    >> OP 04/13/09(Mon)12:32 No.4269553
    The most dangerous thing that can happen to a platoon is a lieutenant with a map.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:33 No.4269560
    One of them should be Klinger from MASH and wear dresses.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:35 No.4269571
    Mechanic: Had dreams of going up the chain of command until someone found out he used to repair his own lawnmower. Next thing he knows he's never gonna get out of the motorpool.

    The tanks he helps fix up annoy him; a constant reminder that someone somewhere would rather save money than lives, and of the fact that this is now his life. He puts everything he has into it, partly because he'd be dead bored otherwise, but also because lives depend on the thing not breaking down at a bad time.

    Uses whatever weapon would be on hand with an emergency, he's got all the basic training after all, but secretly aspires to teaching someone never to sneak up on a guy with a cutting torch some day. Just because.

    Never get him started on a certain previous war when NOT fixing anything could've prevented lots of friendly fire.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:35 No.4269572
    David Schwimmer's character from Band of Brothers is a perfect example: Neurotic, transparent, ambitious, and impossible to handle in a tight spot.
    Yet sleek enough to not be obviously unfit to lead, so he cannot be booted.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:35 No.4269573

    >the guy who's always talks about home, his girl, his kid, etc.

    This guy is annoying. We know you have a home, and a girl, and a kid. We did too, except our girls are all off fucking chAir force guys and spending the money we send home.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:35 No.4269578
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:37 No.4269585

    Yeah, and the Donnie Wahlburg character is the archetypal NCO.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:42 No.4269604
    I thought all maintenance was handled by private contractors now. And that what they were skilled in repairing was rather random. Like an air conditioner repair team assigned to maintaining tanks.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:44 No.4269618
    On a large military bases you're going to have MPs. These are guys who joined the military and then became cops. Great way to hinder the party
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:45 No.4269625
    >The most dangerous thing that can happen to a platoon is a lieutenant with a map.

    And a radio to call for artillery support. hurr hurr danger close.

    Also, in Canada, we pronounce it "Leftenant" [The more you know!]
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:45 No.4269626

    Tank crews take care of their own tanks day to day, and tank units will repair any vehicles that need in the field. Anything more severe, like a hit to the engine destroying the turbine or something is sent to a special plant in the states of overhaul and refurbishing.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:46 No.4269636
    Read books. Seriously, read books. First- or second-hand accounts of real people. I could tell you what I've read in books, but that would require overly lengthy explanations.

    Hollywood stereotypes are right out.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:47 No.4269638

    Fucking THIS. The artillery or air support guys are never asking for the sergeants initials, only the guy calling for it on the radio, who because he's an ignorant fuckwad doesn't know how to read a map, and doesn't exactly know where you are.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:49 No.4269653
    Found the article.
    >An Air Force vet, Skoug had come to Iraq as a civilian to repair refrigeration units and air conditioners for a KBR subcontractor called LSI. But when he arrived, he discovered that LSI had hired him to fix Humvees. "I didn't know jack-squat about Humvees," he says. "I could maybe change the oil, that was it." (Asked about Skoug's additional assignment, KBR boasted: "Part of the reason for our success is our ability to employ individuals with multiple capabilities.")

    >Working with him on his crew were two other refrigeration technicians, neither of whom knew anything about fixing Humvees. Since Skoug and most of his co-workers had worked for KBR in Afghanistan, they were familiar with cost-plus contracting. The buzz around the base was that cost-plus was the reason LSI was hiring air-conditioning guys to work on unfamiliar military equipment at a cost to the taxpayer of $80,000 a year. "They was doing the same thing as KBR: just filling the body count," says Skoug.

    >Thanks to low troop ­levels, all the military repair guys had been pressed into service to fight the war, so Skoug was forced to sit in the military storeroom on the base and study vehicle manuals that, as a civilian, he wasn't allowed to check out of the building. That was how America fought terrorism in Iraq: It hired civilian air-conditioning techs to fix Humvees using the instruction manual while the real Humvee repairmen, earning a third of what the helpless civilians were paid, drove around in circles outside the wire waiting to get blown up by insurgents.
    >> Calgar !!E6uXE2v0isQ 04/13/09(Mon)12:51 No.4269664
    fuck yea tanith
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:52 No.4269667
    >After much pleading and cajoling, Skoug managed to convince LSI to let him repair some refrigeration units. But it turned out that the company didn't have any tools for the job. "They gave me a screwdriver and a Leatherman, and that's it," he recalls. "We didn't even have freon gauges." When Skoug managed to scrounge and cannibalize parts to get the job done, he impressed the executives at Wolfpack enough to hire him away from LSI for $10,000 a month. The job required Skoug, who had been given no formal security training, to travel regularly on dangerous convoys between bases. Wolfpack issued him an armored vehicle, a Yugoslav-made AK-47 and a handgun, and wished him luck.

    >For nearly a year, Skoug did the job, trying at each stop to overcome the hostility that many troops felt for civilian contractors who surfed the Internet and played pool and watched movies all day for big dollars while soldiers carrying seventy-pound packs of gear labored in huts with broken air conditioning the civilian techs couldn't be bothered to repair. "They'd have the easiest thing to fix, and they wouldn't do it," Skoug says. "They'd write that they'd fixed it or that they just needed a part and then just leave it." At Haditha Dam, Skoug witnessed a near-brawl after some Marines, trying to get some sleep after returning from patrol, couldn't get a group of "KBR dudes" to turn down the television in a common area late at night.

    >Toward the end of Skoug's stay, insurgent activity in his area increased to the point where the soldiers leading his convoys would often drive only at night and without lights. Skoug and his co-workers asked Wolfpack to provide them with night-vision goggles that cost as little as $1,000 a pair, but the company refused. "Their attitude was, we don't need 'em and we're not buying 'em," says Thomas Lane, a Wolfpack employee who served as Skoug's security man on the night of September 11th.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:53 No.4269669

    Super special snowflake?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:53 No.4269676

    Only to be horribly disappointed, at least in my state; because they won't take you even if you were an MP without a 2 year degree.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:55 No.4269685
    Danger Close: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ma99QolBk
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:55 No.4269686
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:55 No.4269690
    how about milo from catch 22?
    the quatermaster who has the entire continent involved in hare-brained schemes to make money that rely on a sound understanding of theoretical economics, but missed the class where it doesn't scale to what you can slip aboard a helicopter.

    read The Patrol by Laurie Andrews if you can track down a copy. also published as The Scarlet Shield. ww2 jungle hell.

    for more soldierly folks, how about
    -scared kid. doesn't want to kill, can't bear to, although he did on a recent mission and can't get it off his mind.
    -cynical intellectual. constantly makes fun of the contradiction between how we need to kill the enemy, but aren't allowed to hate them per se, on an ideological level. "we can blow him up with grenades, disembowell him with bayonets, chop him up with a bren gun, drop bombs on him, but we cannot hate him. no, we must wage war on brother jap with only the purest of intentions and love in our hearts.'
    too clever for his own good. might make an interesting NCO.
    -trauma psycho. recently learned that his brother was killed by the enemy, and can think of nothing but killing them. revenge and unhinged-ness.
    -outsider officer. in to supervise the chasing down of something or other, not part of the usual order of things. nice enough guy, but his goals are disrupting the way things are working, since he needs men and gear directed to his uses. disliked on principle by the quartermaster and whoever organises rosters.

    have a few soldiers have lovers in the region - maybe just one (and make a big deal out of it being taboo for all concerned) if it is a modern middle-east type thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)12:56 No.4269692
    How about the doing a guy who joined up thinking it was going to be all gung ho action and honor but finds out it is mostly sitting around and waiting, doing paperwork, and drill. The idea of the military was much more exciting than the reality of it and now is just a pissant annoyance to the others either by wanting to get everyone into danger or by beinf so disillusioned that he's just a prick to be around.
    >> Sage McSagington(Inquisitor, Ordo Fureticus) 04/13/09(Mon)12:57 No.4269699
    I want this man's job.

    So OP-what IS going to happen? Are we dealing with a horror setting (No John you are the daemons)or a sci fi future war dealy
    >> Calgar !!E6uXE2v0isQ 04/13/09(Mon)12:59 No.4269703
    sad sad truth :(
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:00 No.4269707
    Is it true that if you start talking about your girl back home and stuff too much that you end up dying somehow?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:03 No.4269725

    I imagine that if you do it enough to annoy your friends enough they might kill you.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:05 No.4269739
    Depends entirely on the unit you're in. There are all kinds of unit- and branch-specific taboos, and all nations have their own. If your country can send you abroad to multiple locations, all those posts have their own taboos and superstitions.

    They all have one thing in common, though: you could get beat up by the other guys if you think you're above all the "silly" and "pointless" rules.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:07 No.4269752
    And "don't eat the motherfucking Charms".
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:13 No.4269793
    The rule of vehicles and logistics: When your top dog CO is competent, it's a total pain in the ass to maintain your vehicles and they break down constantly.

    If the Big Officer is incompetent? NOTHING runs. Except his personal limo.
    >> You'll need dickery. Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:15 No.4269809
    As a man that did 5 in the U.S. Marine corps, I should give my 2 bits.

    I was Avionics, I level.

    It may sound a bit cliche, but have the supply guys be total assholes who get their rocks off by compounding problems and roadblocking the PC's with mounds of red tape. The more unneccesary and petty the better (and more realistic).

    Oh, sorry PCs, it turns out that the mags you were issued don't fit a standard M16A1. Dang. Well, just return them to supply, but first they're gonna need you to stand in line for a "little while" so that you can then fill out the appropriate paper work....
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:17 No.4269819
    >the mags you were issued don't fit a standard M16A1

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:19 No.4269828

    Crushed, heat warp, bad mold, M1 Garand en bloc clips for some fucking reason, etc. Could happen.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:19 No.4269834
    2nd only to said Lt. saying "based on MY experience...".
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:21 No.4269841
    Only if you are black.

    In every other case, you will be recieving a "dear john" letter shortly.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:22 No.4269851
    That makes sense.

    It's just, at first glance it sounds like, "Yeah. Sorry, guys. It seems you've been issued non-regulation water. You'll need to return your canteens to mess, go get new canteens and then get fresh, regulation water."
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:22 No.4269854
    I'm not kidding man. I have no idea how, I was issued mags that simply did not fit my rifle.

    Thanks for that, supply guy.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:25 No.4269866
    The retarded mess cook(s).

    Be it by sheer stupidity or dickishness, he always manages to slop your mashed potatoes right on top of your peas. Also; I hope you find diahrea amusing, because that's what you are getting in about 6 hours. Roll a con check to see if it's full blown food poisoning.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:25 No.4269869
    I can imagine the look on the guy's face when he gets issued en bloc clips.

    "What the fuck? We stopped production of these decades ago! We don't even have any fucking Garands!"

    "Too bad, that's what's in stock. Just whittle it down and handload your own cardriges."

    [unicode stare]
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:27 No.4269879
    what about the medical expert? perhabs he is even a doc, he has a lot of books with him, he is always lookin for participations in his test for the new army drug to "make you better soldiers", often he looks in his books which authors have these german-sounding names like Mengele or Gobbel or so.
    But he even speaks german so he cannot be a bad guy,right?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:27 No.4269880
    Funnily enough, YOU can get in deep shit if you return a magazine with a slight scratch in the paint.

    And you end up knowing EXACTLY how much a magazine and all its parts cost individually.
    >> Maus 04/13/09(Mon)13:29 No.4269894
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:29 No.4269897
    I see the military is dedicated to lifelong learning.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:29 No.4269898
    Ten dollars USD? Fifteen, max?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:30 No.4269900
    The barracks slut.

    She's a hotty, but don't let that fool you. She'll be all over your nuts like white on rice in a snow storm. Too bad she's been ridden more often than the village bicycle. Like throwing a roll of dimes down a hallway. Chance of STD: 99.99%. Feels bad man.

    Report to medical.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:31 No.4269913
    Could be worse. A buddy of mine lost his helmet. Turns out those get pretty expensive. Gortex too.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:32 No.4269921
    You'll learn the price of the spring and the paint. You'll also learn the price of the paper and printer ink.

    In the end you know exactly how many dollars, cents, paperwork hours, spit gallons and decibels a magazine and/or any of its individual parts cost.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:33 No.4269926
    Which is?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:33 No.4269933
    You've got to have a crusty old Gunnery Sgt who no longer gives a shit. The only reason he is putting off the taste of shotgun is to see what the retards under his command will pull next.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:34 No.4269939
    Haha, love that picture, though it's missing the caption "Oh fuck, slav shit".
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:35 No.4269941
    Coincidentally I heard a story of a guy who found an extra kevlar during a refreshing hike in the woods. He took it home since nobody admitted to missing his pot.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:36 No.4269948
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:37 No.4269952
    I swear to budda/god/allah, fucking avi supply nearly drove me to go for the high score. Oh look, yet another card recieved non functional. It's not like pilot's lives depend on me fixing this gear or anything. Make sure to roll your eyes and give me attitude when I requisition another part.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:37 No.4269961
    I'm not a Yank and I didn't damage my mags.

    Although I did damage my legs and back.

    I have, however, spoken with people who maganed to misplace vital equipment (including but not limited to compasses and watch caps).
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:38 No.4269966
    >refreshing hike in the woods

    I do so love forced marches.
    >> OP 04/13/09(Mon)13:40 No.4269992
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    Thank you so much. I found many inspiring ideas in the posts so far. Please keep them coming.

    I will tell you more about the setting. I didn't before because I know /tg/ and HURR SPACE MARINEZ! which has nothing to do with my campaign.

    OK, so the party are some space marines, in a hard scifi setting within the solar system (no FTL) in 200 years or so. They are stationed on a large supply carrier, which is by all means a military space station. There are 5 factions from earth competing over resources in an economical race to the planets and asteroids. I want them to get into the whole military aspect, and the players are not familiar with it at all.

    The archetypes are supposed to help them recognize standard situations and obvious paths to take, and provide some comic relief.

    There will be aliens much later on, but this is not about that.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:41 No.4270003
    Congratulations, you killed the thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:42 No.4270009
    Lucky. I only managed to end up with an extra gortex bottom. Not so useful without the top.

    Now, what I really wish I could have done was to construct my own NV goggles. Not possibly anymore since command caught on to what people were doing and made the main occular magnifier a repairable part, thus you have to turn it in if it goes bad. Used to be you could just order up every part of the goggles with zero accountability.

    Oh expliotable.

    Fun fact: You can order just about anything from supply. A keg of Killians. A 1X2 sheet of pure titanium. A swingset. A hellburner anti-ship missile.

    Now, whether or not you end up Court Marshaled, that's another story.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:42 No.4270010

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:44 No.4270023
    Ease down anon. We don't have to shut down the good times just yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:44 No.4270027
    the gay one
    he is there for one reason - he loves muscular man. he is doing his work good and most people don't suspect anything but to one or more of your PC he make strange announcements ("I'll always protect you *looks at PC1* my friends)
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:45 No.4270031

    I have so many boots because of this.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:45 No.4270036
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:45 No.4270038

    They let gays out in public now?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:46 No.4270044
    If it is hard sci fi and they don't have ftl, but are able to respond fast enough with space marines, they wouldn't use marines, but instead relativistic kill vehicles.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:47 No.4270050
    The Fan
    he is just a fan of someone. perhabs of the cook or an officier. he tells everyone how great this person is and that he wishes his daddy had been this way. even when send on suicide mission he still worships this person.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:48 No.4270056
    Remember the Zeroth Law of Science Fiction Warfare: Sci-fi fans do not wish to hear about the life and times of a nuclear missile. Thus, space fighters exist. This can be applied to just about anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:50 No.4270068
    Never. NEVER fill your canteens from the back (lower) end of the water buffalo. Unless you like drinking silt.

    Be sure the newbie isn't given this advice, let him find out for himself.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:50 No.4270069
    The Use Of Weapons would like to disagree.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:52 No.4270080
    The Funny One
    he makes always funny comments and jokes. often tey are very funny but it is a little bit disgusting when he tells jokes when washing children blood off his clothes. his jokes get more disgusting in the storyline and perhabs someday the people will see the gore pics in his closet he alsways laughts about. he os not a necrophil guy but someone who tries to keep his sanity through jokes about cruel things like gore.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:55 No.4270095
    One could in great detail describe its long and hard shape while it penetrates through space, ever intent on releasing its load onto the target.
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!t8iiyj3DIqR 04/13/09(Mon)13:56 No.4270111

    good one
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:56 No.4270115
    Malingering fatass.

    Who knows what made this guy join up. One day he just rolled his lard ass out of bed and thought "hey I'll join an elite fighting force!". He barely made it through boot, and afterwards got right to fattening back up. Constantly on either light duty for made up medical problems (I can't go running today sir, I hurt my ankle.) or dancing to avoid a medical disharge. You can find him blissfully asleep on duty, especially when your PCs are counting on him to do something like call the Fire Department when the barracks generator blows and your room catches fire.

    Roll to see how much smoke inhalation damage you take.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:59 No.4270130

    Could that even happen what with all the PT and medical discharges these days?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)13:59 No.4270140
    Hand to hand combat instructor.

    2 flavors.

    "Total baddass" and "YOU'RE a h2h instructor??? lawl"

    I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. Note: flavor 2 is the most dangerous one. Go ahead and try him, he'll show you how your joints aren't supposed to go.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:00 No.4270142
    Scary Black Man Who Looks Like Mike Tyson

    he tells you to suck his dick, it seems like a joke
    but he's been saying it far past the point it's been funny.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:00 No.4270144
         File :1239645645.gif-(102 KB, 640x480, 961037571-00.gif)
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    The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots.
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!t8iiyj3DIqR 04/13/09(Mon)14:00 No.4270147

    maybe he's Polish?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:02 No.4270160

    Probably not, but thats what so great about playing a game of pretend.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:02 No.4270164
    Had a dude exactly like that in my shop. To his credit, he made it all the way though his enlistment. I got out in fall of '05, so I don't know if things have got tougher for the out of regs dudes.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:03 No.4270171
    I hate fucking canteens. Water sloshes around in'em and it makes so. much. goddamn. noise.

    Camelback's are great, though.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:06 No.4270193
    Big and Black works! Is it time for the Sgt to voluntold some of the non-coms for a work detail? Not for you, you big scare motherfucker! Sit back and relax.

    Sadly, eventually Mr.BigandBlack is going to get paper fucked six ways from Sunday for his lack of motivation. This will only serve to anger him to the point of beating people up and ending up in the Brig.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:07 No.4270198
    >empty clip

    Let's hope /k/ doesn't see this.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:08 No.4270206
    Also: getting issued one that was previously used for dipspit.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:08 No.4270210
    Asian guy

    there's Asian guys in the military? What the fuck is he doing here and not guiding missiles with a computer or something? Maybe he knows kungfu.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:16 No.4270267
    I will give examples of personality types from guys in my own unit that I used to be in

    Mountain Man - at home camp or hiking, a quiet professional who humor comes out at the worse of times, hates overbearing superiors that try to control his every action

    Surfer - Your classic california surfer pretty boy, he is tall, strong and has a list of names of girls he has done that is taller than you, superiors love him

    Dwarf - This guy is barely 5 foot. Put a beard on him and you would swear he is a dwarf. He is just as strong as one and weights a ton but don't expect him to run too fast plus his ability to drink is amazing

    Special Forces - HOLY SHIT, this guy is a walking piece of testosterone. Be glad he is on your side and never ever question him because he is always right, always.

    Fuck Up - He is always drunk at formations and lunch. He is sloppy, never prepared and always in trouble but everyone loves the guys and makes up the slack without any grumbles.

    Suck Up - The piece of shit that tries to act like he has authority but everyone just ignores him. Your afraid that one day he is going to go postal.

    Raw Deal - If there is anything illegal going on you know this guy either knows about it or has a hand in it. Although he has his uses, he only looks out for himself and not someone to trust.

    Bad Luck - You have no idea why this guy is here. Its like he got lost somewhere and they needed to put him somewhere just to get him out of the way.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:27 No.4270337
    Odious Personal habits.

    Zero personal hygeine. Lice. Body lice. Stench aura that makes your eyes water. He's never made friends with a toothbrush, and the orange buildup of plaque on his teeth reflects it. You suspect he may be part rodent.

    I had a guy like this with me when I did a tour on a Navy ship. We eventually got so fed up with his nasty ass that we marched him to the showers, and WATCHED HIM SHOWER. Just to be sure.

    Hell, it would have been easier to just drop him in the Atlantic.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:27 No.4270344
    Have you guys ever had an Officer that was...you know...good?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:30 No.4270363
         File :1239647455.jpg-(78 KB, 900x599, buffalo_soldiers_2003.jpg)
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    Cleanlyness is next to godlyness.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:33 No.4270385
    Hell! Now I'm watching THAT again.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:34 No.4270396
    Of course, but you tend not to remember them as well as the shitheads. I swear to god, the next butterbar who tries to tell me what to do is going to end up on the mishap report.

    No no, sir you are correct. I can totally manufacture a circuit card out of plastic and solder.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:40 No.4270450
    Of course the charming, H cooking, arms stealing, constantly lying supply clerk. A good friend to have, but don't ever get in his way!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:40 No.4270451
    Nah man. I'm the USMC Avionics guy. General maintenance is handled by "990". Basically, they are a shop full of people that were pulled from all the other shops on the base. Read this as: the dumb guys that don't know how to do anything right and/or annoy everyone around them.

    These are the people we call when the AC goes out.

    Story time!
    Once we had an ECU that kept blowing the breakers on a leg (section) of our shop. Well, we didn't have any replacement breakers, so we call 990 to get us one. They didn't have one either, but they sent us a guy anyhow. This retarded little black guy comes over and decides he'll just take the breaker out of an unused leg.

    Genius didn't cut the power before sticking a non rubberized screwdriver into the breaker. Nothing quite like taking 220 up the arm to wake your ass up. I will never forget his reaction to getting blown off the box. "OH SHIT MAH MUTHA! THAT SHEET SHOCKED MAH SOWL!!". **read in New Orleans creol accent**
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:43 No.4270476
    I wonder why /tg/ likes the cool loner soldier archetype. Hmhmm...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:45 No.4270486
         File :1239648321.jpg-(766 KB, 3000x2048, 1239067129895.jpg)
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    this man should be easy to make into an NPC
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:45 No.4270487
    A sniper who works with his spotter.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:49 No.4270514
    Is that you Colm Corbec?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:49 No.4270515
    The Lifer: he lives by one simple motto ''Don't stress me, man.''

    Knows every in and out, loophole, regulation and rule in the books and uses them to his advantage. Most often seen sporting a beard, wearing non-issued footwear of superior quality and proud possesor of a million and one gucchi pieces of kit. Never to be seen or found anywhere in the barracks when there are shit jobs to do. Do not be fooled by this veil of indolence and sloth! It masks an expert soldier you want at your side when it truly matters.

    With at least 15 years under his belt, he loves the Regiment more than the Army itself. He is respected by his peers and superiors, because he remembers when most of them were fresh faced recruits (yes, even the current C.O.) in the first place.

    Moves through life pleasantly and peacefully, secretly dreading the day he'll have to retire. Most likely will end und President of the Regiment's Veteran Association and still be found sticking his fingers in daily happenings of the unit.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:50 No.4270524
    Marines? Their medic is a Navy Corpsman who is touchy and feely, almost to the GAY level. But if you accuse him of being gay, he turns into this homophobic mountain of rage.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:51 No.4270528
    And siring like 11 children and maintaining a healthy marriage with his loving (and beautiful) wife.

    A super nice lawn too.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:51 No.4270534
    Turn your head and cough...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)14:56 No.4270553
    Is it true that Tabletop games are actually pretty popular in the army? (Not necessarily just the US Army, of course)
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)15:16 No.4270730

    I forgot that. That is absolutely bang-on.

    The Sir: smoldering with intensity, exuding an aura of flawless, immaculate professionalism and skill, he is that mysterious creature rarer than an unicorn. A true leader of men.

    He lives and breathes the Principles of Leadership, leading by example at every turn. Expects you to surpass him. If you cannot, he is truly dissapointed and that is A Very Bad Thing that makes you feel like your a little kid again who just failed dad and all your ancestors.

    Can be be easily found because he's the guy flapping his arms and screaming ''BRAVO, BRAVO, FOLLOW ME- WE'RE GOING TO FIND A WAY ACROSS'' When the whole unit is pinned by enfilading fire from hidden machine-guns. When he shows up, you are actually glad because at least there's ONE person who knows what he's doing.

    Never critical of the troops, especially the young privates and corporals, he is merciless with his subordinate officers and their bane when it's that time of the year again to write up yearly performance reviews. He rises rapidly through the ranks never to be seen again except on two occasions.

    He is killed in action doing something heroic,
    He is the new Chief of the Defense Staff.

    Comedy Option: He is wounded in action and released from the army. Haunted by the unwarranted guilt of having lost good men and unable to do what he loves most in life. He will blow his brains out with a pistol.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)15:22 No.4270782
    Hey...that isn't funny at ALL!
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)15:29 No.4270852

    "It took a lot of guts to do what the Sir did. I mean, you can see Captain Winslow's guts and he sure had a lot of them."
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)15:30 No.4270864
    You have two states- Short and Not Short. This outlines your mood.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)15:53 No.4271042
    The Guy Who Tought The Army Would Fix His Problems: drug addiction? Check. Unhealthy relationship with parents? Check. Little to no education? Check. A list of grievances without end? Check.

    This is a child in a man's body. Yes, the army has straightened him out some and suppressed most of the problems he has, the irony, though, is that it has replaced them with other vices such as alcoholism, fighting, gambling and horrible debts compounded by breaking and entering and petty theft.

    Convinced that he is forever the victim in life, whines at everything and begrudges everyone everything. Imagines veiled insults and slights everywhere he goes. He is incapable of forming any kind of real bond with his fellows and should have never passed Basic.

    Over time, he will become suicidal and push the last of his rapidly shrinking circle of friends away. Only the Lifers and Henry V will still put up with him.

    Examples of his behaviour: stoned out of his mind, will break into a family home and steal their pet chinchilla to let it lose in the barracks. In his room will be found a meth lab.


    Will put his fist through his mirror and piss blood everywhere after having a really bad conversation with his dad back home. He will approach you and say ''Look what I did'' just to have some attention.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:10 No.4271182
    Henry V: ''God for Harry, England and Saint George!''

    A man who should have been born in another age, preferably one with swords and armour or failing that, oversized hats. A true patriot, he unabashedly admits he is a true believer of The Cause and burns with an Idealist's passion. He is indignant when any one questions the worthiness of the mission or his motives.

    A rare thing nowadays, he had the misfortune of being born 100 years too late to go over the top and get shredded by machine-guns, but is more than making up for lost time. He is the model soldier in everyway and if he stays in the Army, will rapidly evolve into the Lifer or The Sir. He is the kind of guy who can tell you with a straight face ''With the joys of responsiblity comes the privileges of obligation''. Also enjoys doing Rifle Drill on the Parade square.

    Admired but not necessarily liked for his zeal, he sometimes pushes his underlings too hard and doesn't understand when they complain. Otherwise, he is quiet and shy, knowing that he belongs to a by-gone era of gentlemen tossing cloaks across muddy puddles and marching in columns through cannon fire.

    Were he not in the Army, he would most definitely be found trying to ressurect the October Revolution or attending a renaissance fair to display his actual ARMA certified fencing skills.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:27 No.4271315
    In Iraq now, though not as a marine; these are all based on real people.

    The little fucker. Most likely a junior enlisted fobbit of some sort (mail clerk, payroll, etc.), he has a grudge against you, your friends, and the army as a whole. He will do anything in his power, which is unfortunately extensive due to the access he has to senior personnel, to fuck you over.

    Clueless. Guy looks great on paper. Good PT score, great weapons qual, lots of military education under his belt. Unfortunately, he just doesn't get it. He doesn't plan ahead or think what sort of effects his stupid ideas will have down the line.

    The bitter one. He or she joined the military recently, all wide-eyed idealist wanting to serve his or her country. But the bureaucracy and crap has crushed their soul.

    The MWR girl. Just a straight-up whore. Might be military or a civilian contractor.

    The overachieving reservist. Recently arrived in theater, they are generally looked down upon by the active duty troops. However, they are incredibly knowledgeable in their field (probably something like commo/mechanic/MP/engineers) and genuinely want to help the PCs succeed.

    The useless reservist. The reason the overachieving reservist has to fight to earn respect.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:31 No.4271347
    /k/ should commute here more
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:34 No.4271364
    >The MWR girl. Just a straight-up whore. Might be military or a civilian contractor.
    I'd hit it.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:37 No.4271394
    You and the rest of the FOB, dude. Wear a rubber. They give them out for free at the aid station.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:38 No.4271405
    I meant with a baseball bat.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:41 No.4271430
    Then be ready to hit a bunch of pissed off lonely fuckers with said bat as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:44 No.4271455
         File :1239655477.jpg-(85 KB, 1011x643, Jack_Churchill_leading_trainin(...).jpg)
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    Sounds like Jack Churchill, at least in parts.

    Churchill was not sure what Commando Duty entailed, but he signed up because it sounded dangerous. In May 1940, Churchill and his unit, the Manchester Regiment, ambushed a German patrol near l'Epinette, France. Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy Feldwebel (sergeant) with his barbed arrows, becoming the only known British soldier to have felled an enemy with a longbow in the course of the war.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:47 No.4271473
    >>4271315 All females in the corps are whores or filthy filthy teases....
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:47 No.4271476
    skippy. adding things to his list.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:56 No.4271553
    Christ, didn't think my fellow tankers were such total tools. Usually during the initial sweep we'd be a rolling wall for a the guys on foot. We'd usually back out of towns and find a hill or something to sit on while they started clearing buildings since there are all sorts of nasty things that can happen to a tank in an urban environment. If anyone shot at the guys clearing buildings it'd end up with a few HEAT rounds in it.

    The only IED an Abrams really needs to worry about is a couple of artillery shells stacked in the back of a car and it can crack the armor you're going out quick. Personally my biggest fear was falling through a bridge and drowning.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:56 No.4271554
    in british bases the cafeteria staff are locals. have the obvious terrorist, the guy who thinks that he can emigrate away from his chithole ofa country if he just smiles enough, the one whos daughter whores to the troops but doesn't want to lose his job by complaining.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:57 No.4271562
    The Adventurer! : the name says it all. A reckless daredevil who's larger than life. Every morning has a new -and this is genuine, no bullshit, man- story to tell. Usually, it involves him ending in a situation where his life is peril or beautiful women accepting his super potent and virile sperm.
    Often, it is both.

    A suave and debonair swashbuckler who gets along famously with everyone, he joined the army to live a life of high adventure and so far, he is pleased. No longer having to worry about rent, food, bills or immediate family he has abandoned himself to a hedonistic lifestyle or partying all night every night, shameless womanizing and travel. The consummate bachelor, he is currently laying low to prevent an ex-girlfriend from charging him child support and several other girls who claim he may be the father (a charge he hotly disputes).

    The Adventurer can be summed up by one simple phrase: ''One Life to live, man. Fukken O.L.T.L. duder.'' He and Henry V make a great team. Both are willing to whatever it takes, no matter the cost. The difference, though, is that the Adventurer hasn't really thought what that entails, but then again thinking about that kind of thing would just compromise the all-important L.C.F. (Look Cool Factor). He enjoys the thrill of battle, seeing it as the ultimate test of his prodigous abilities. Forever young, nothing will ever phase him.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)16:57 No.4271563
    >All females are whores or filthy filthy teases....

    Fixed that for you.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)17:05 No.4271623
    Most of all you should have a lot of bored marines looking for something to do to while away the time thill someone tells them to do otherwise. A lot of being in the military is hurry up and wait. Thus you have long stretches of sheer boredom. The things any soldier needs are: A Zinc treated cast Iron stomach, the ability to sleep with a blender full silverware next to his head, the back of a pack mule, and the creativity to entertain himself for days on end with little more than a few rocks and maybe a stick.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)17:07 No.4271640

    Yes! Mad Jack Churchill! I love that man. He played dirges on the pipes in Italy when all his men were wiped out until he was captured.

    Look at his hands. Do you see it? HE'S GOT A BLOODY SWORD. I wish our officers still let us use swords.

    Oh shit. I think I just gave away who I am.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)17:12 No.4271686
    I had a CO like that. Son of a bitch was the finest man Iv ever served with. 1st Brigade 4th Infantry Division
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)17:18 No.4271732
    He was an Englishman leading a regiment of Highland Light Infantry as one of their own. Says enough about him.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)17:44 No.4271948
    The fucking Abrams needs a metric fuckton of just everyday maintenance to keep it running right. That's one reason it doesn't use an autoloader. You've got a 4th guy there to help out with it. That and autoloaders run the gamut of reliable, to clearly built by the lowest bidder.

    We had to change the occasional track shoe, give the damn thing pretty much a full lube job after every time we went out because the sand got into everything. The damn thing is real bad about springing leaks and pissing hydraulic fluid into the sub-turret which means if you'd lost enough the turret was stuck in that position till it was fixed, not to mention cleaning all of that shit out. The particular tank I was assigned to was bad about shearing the bolt heads off of drive sprocket, which meant we'd have to get the broken bolt out and put in a new one.

    Add onto that a variety of other chores, and reloading and maintenance for all the weapons on the tank and our personal weapons. Basically the thing is a 70 ton pain in the ass and it only goes to depot when something is bad wrong with it.

    The biggest problem we had was simply keeping the damn thing fueled up. It chugs jet fuel like it's a frat boy at a damn kegger. Even idling we were burning ungodly amounts of gas.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:02 No.4272117
    I really like this thread.

    The Sergeant-Major: The last of a dying breed. He remembers fondly the ''Good Old Days'' when You could beat to a bloody pulp shitpumps (See: The Guy Who Thought The Army Could Fix His Problems) and women weren't allowed in the Service. Often quotes from the Good Book, a manual regarding the training of infantrymen written during the 2nd World War. As far as he's concerned, the methods to kill each other may have changed but not those used to make a real soldier.

    The bane of the Lifer, he enforces the regulations to the letter and in spirit mercilessly and efficiently, hence the Lifer's ghost policy of ''If he can't see me, he can't yell at me.'' Even in the field, he ensures that every trooper is clean shaven wearing ISSUED FOOTWEAR DAMMIT.

    At 57 years of age, he nears the twilight of his life. He plans to retire to a street where every house belongs to a friend he has served with his entire life. He no longer cares about the politics of the army and is willing to fill out all the necessary paperwork, no matter how mountainous, to charge two corporals for walking across HIS Parade Square.

    Has known the C.O. for 37 of his 41 years of service and they consider each other best friends. As far as anyone knows, They have never used anything other than rank and last name when addressing each other.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:03 No.4272123
    Except that Jack Churchill wasn't obsolete at all. He was a fucking man among men who later became an awesome surfer in Australia
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:05 No.4272133
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    problem solved
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:26 No.4272263
    That was the part that was wrong.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:47 No.4272421
    The Niche Guy: This man has found a place where he fits. Maybe he works in the kitchen. More than likely, he's doing some shit job that nobody wants in exchange for having a quiet spot to read and be alone. He's been married three times, has a few kids scattered between them, but spends most of his time on and off duty with his nose in a book.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)18:47 No.4272422

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)19:01 No.4272542
    It was a Garand, Sir. Clip-loaded. The sergeant just switched the papers.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)19:45 No.4272886
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)20:24 No.4273101
    The Scary One: they said he was with some special forces before being assigned here, and they say that he did some bad shit there. We're talking La Femme Nikita stuff here. The guy is experienced, tough, cool in a firefight, and will watch your back - but just being near him gives you the chills.
    >> OP 04/13/09(Mon)21:22 No.4273564
    Holy shit. This is still going.

    They've got us surrounded. I pity those fools.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)21:35 No.4273667
    Since I didn't read the thread, you can flame me all you want if I repeat something. I just did a quick search, and >>4269551 nails it.

    But since you probably don't own GK, BoB or SPR...

    Iceman: Cool (ice cold) as fuck sergeant. Not outspoken or loud, but he gets shit done. Looks after his men.

    Competent junior officer: Leads a platoon, and is quite possibly the only reliable officer in the entire company/batallion/regiment. Men look up to him, because he actually has brains.

    Incompetent officer: Brainless idiot who probably had a desk job or rear echelon job, but ends up in command of a company on the front lines. Likes to act like he's from the movies, and sometimes has connections higher up or graduated from some fancy Ivy League school (on an atheletics scholarship).

    Awesomesergeant: You know. The cool one.

    Snipers: They're all quiet.

    Machine gunner: GET SOME

    Noobs: Idiots running around like they're invincible.

    Newbs: New, but they learn. If in pairs, one dies at some point.

    Also, deagle clip ak47 > ar15 556 is superior 9mm is best 50ae was given by the gods H&K should have made the deagle
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)21:37 No.4273685
    Forgot to add

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)21:40 No.4273696
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:12 No.4273970

    Because, you know, the rations, like everything else, are made by the lowest bidder, and like any other part of the supply system, twice as much stuff goes out the back door as goes out the front.

    So the cook does what he can with what he's given. Some of them were even trained to be cooks, but mostly the chow-hall is where you end up if you fuck up anywhere else.

    And, oh yeah, when the CO runs out of infantry, guess who's first to go to the front?
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:17 No.4273992
    Fruity Rudy the spotter <3
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:33 No.4274093

    You were fucking lucky.

    My squadron's full of incompetence. The people in charge think of everyone else as just manning requirements. If you're not in charge you're due to work lousy hours (switching between days, evenings, or night shifts multiple times in the same week, working 20 hours more a week than those in admin jobs, etc).

    The people in the most important offices have no idea what they're doing and constantly call in those who are already overworked to come in and assist them in fixing their own problems.

    All the while, the commander, a nice guy, has no clue how bad morale is because the SNCOs and officers keep telling him everything is going great, we're all warfighters fighting the great fight, and that the only problem is we don't have enough training to do on our offtime.

    Fuck yeah, put me down as the military archetype of:

    NCO, been in 10 years, all but the training has been at the same squadron, should go life because he's already halfway there, but absolutely hates his job, jokes about going psycho and killing everyone but doesn't know if he's really joking. Tells everyone their incompetent but gets ignored. Has been running multiple countdown clocks since his 2 years to end of contract and can tell you the days left, and if at his computer can say it to the seconds. Oh, and he tells all his subordinates how fucking horrible the place is right off the bat, unlike the people lying and saying "you'll love it here, best god damned squadron in the world" and yet somehow, they keep giving him subordinates.
    >> Maus 04/13/09(Mon)22:38 No.4274115
    Sounds like a peachy outfit.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:40 No.4274128

    All the medical discharges? I've been hoping to get one for years now. Been on profile saying no running (or doing pretty much anything) for years now and still can't get out...
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:42 No.4274143

    It's great, you think the morale can't get any lower because it hit rock bottom, then the SNCO's hand you a shovel and say start digging through that bottom.

    And you look at all the other squadrons on base and a tear comes to your eye, which is good, those tears loosen up the soil a little bit as you begin to dig your morale even lower.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)22:43 No.4274154
    >Incompetent officer: Brainless idiot who probably had a desk job or rear echelon job, but ends up in command of a company on the front lines.

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:04 No.4274322
    I was a medic in the Singapore Armed Forces. Medics have two states: Unappreciated and Lazy and Desperately Needed and Panicky.

    Our army is so bloody anal about safety regulations that hardly anyone ever gets hurt any more. And so the medics stand by, and wait. And wait. And wait some more. Then all the regular men think we're slackers.

    But wait! Some idiot manages to cut his FOREHEAD on the razor wire he's holding in his gloved hands! Suddenly everyone screams MEDIC! MEDIC! and they have to rush to wherever dumbass is lying, face all covered in blood... and then we find out that all he's got is a 0.5 cm cut just above the eyebrow. No other damage. It just bleeds like a mother because the forehead (and face in general) is richly supplied with blood vessels.

    So we clean him up, put a bandaid on him, and carry on.

    There's other stupid stories I have from my time as a medic, but I'll wait to be asked about them.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:07 No.4274346
    Dude, don't wait, tell us. Every single one of them. These kind of first hand stories are fuck-awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:08 No.4274360
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:09 No.4274370
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:10 No.4274384
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    A good collection of real military archetypes at least modern ones can be found in "Generation Kill" i watched this thing a week ago and was getting flashbacks and every few moments remembering someone in my unit that was in the same character archetype as they portrayed in the mini series. also the officers are funny as hell, a lot of them get in country and loose their fucking minds.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:12 No.4274400
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    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:15 No.4274421

    The next two were from an exercise in Taiwan.

    In the first case, my boss (Captain/Doctor) assigned us to go scout out the local hospitals so we'd have an evacuation route in case anybody got hurt. So, while the other men were busy checking their MILES gear and preparing for the exercise, us medics loaded up on a pair of Land Rovers with reservist drivers and went driving around town.

    We couldn't find the hospital in the dinky little town we were in (we were in the suburbs), so we decided to head up north a bit more, to the city. All went well... until we got onto the highway.

    Now, we were SUPPOSED to turn off the highway at X turnpoint so we could go into the city. Unfortunately, my buddy (henceforth known as Fucker Bao or FB) decided that we should go straight and ignore the turn. Mind you, I wasn't too familiar with Taiwan and I wasn't fully acquainted with his fucked-upness) so I thought, "what the hell, give him a chance".

    Turns out that chance led to us driving more than 100km further north than we thought, all the way to Taizhong, which is in the middle of Taiwan. For reference, our camp in Heng Chun was in Taipei, or the southernmost point of Taiwan.

    We cursed him out when we got back to camp, much, much later than expected. Our boss also had a WTF look on his face when he had to sign for 250km of gas for what was supposed to be a 50km trip, tops.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:24 No.4274507

    In the next story, the exercise in Taiwan was fully under way. On the third day, we get called over because some guy has collapsed (normally in the ambulance or the safety Rover, we circulate around the various operation areas until we get a call).

    Turns out there's TWO casualties: one guy passed out from heat stroke, and the other guy got hit in the chest by a LAW. Well, to be precise, he was running at full speed down a hill to catch up with a friend, holding his LMG across his chest. A LAW gunner turns, and the LAW tube bashes into the machine gun, which in turns smacks our hero square in the chest, and then he collapses like a sack of shit. Note: there have actually been medically documented cases where impacts to the chest have caused cardiac arrest and death (there was one case in the States waaaaay back - a father threw a ball to his kid, who caught it on his chest and died of a heart attack).

    So we (me and FB) get called in. We load up both guys onto the ambulance and rush them to the hospital. Along the way, we're trying to get an IV needle into them, but I let FB do it, because I suck at giving IV drips. Instead, I'm applying pressure to the infusion bags so there'll be flow. Believe me, it is NOT easy to get a 2mm needle into the vein of a fat fucker when you're going at top speed over a highway and the road is not smooth as a delicious flat chest.

    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:27 No.4274531

    Now this sounds good.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:31 No.4274564

    Anyway, FB needs space to work, so I back up in the ambulance. I back up. Back up some more. Until my back's against the doors of the ambulance...


    For a moment I think I'm going to become road pizza, then I lean forward, get myself safely in the vehicle, and glance over my shoulder. The guys in the Land Rover are going "wtf", FB is distracted from his (largely ineffectual) work, and my doctor in the front seat is yelling "what the hell are you lot doing?!" through the window linking the driver's cab to the back of the ambulance.

    Turns out that shitty latch for the ambulance rear doors were shitty, and would apparently open with a light push. Nobody was hurt, though we were all surprised, to say the least.

    Eventually, we get to the hospital and my boss realizes he'll need someone to stay with the patients overnight. FB starts to volunteer, but I cut him off by saying that my Mandarin is better (it is; I speak better Mandarin than most of my chink countrymen). FB tries to say something, but my boss agrees and tells me to keep an eye on those two fuckers I mean patients.

    So I get to spend a night chilling out in an air-conditioned hospital, eating decent food, having a coke and reading nudie mags (from a 7-11; also, Singapore is incredibly anal about sex, so no nudie mags at home) while everyone else spends that same night in the cold, dark mountains, chowing down on shitty combat rations and wondering when the hell the exercise is going to end.

    Good times.
    >> Anonymous 04/13/09(Mon)23:33 No.4274581
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)00:23 No.4275034
    You forgot one guy - the "In It For The Benefits." From a poor background, he actually bought the promises of the recruitment guys and is now trying as hard as possible to simply ride out his term of service without getting booted so as to get his G.I. Bill tuition and pension.

    He didn't join up to kill people - hell, he was told he could sit on a base for a few years and get paid to do it. Then the shit hit the fan and he found himself stuck out in the cold dealing with the realities of the job. He isn't handling it very well, but unlike other slacker-types he's not going to do anything that risks him getting booted because he's "already done THIS much" for the army in return for what he feels they owe him.

    "THIS much" isn't anything more than any other soldier does, but don't try to tell him that. To his mind every enemy in existence is gunning for him, every CO has a secret goal to break him, and war is ALWAYS nonstop hell. Even if he's sitting in a supply base way back behind the lines with contracted-in fast food and video games in the barracks.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)00:23 No.4275040
    You always need a group of OPERATORS. Navy SEALs hanging in the chow line.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)00:25 No.4275054
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    >incredibly anal about sex
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:00 No.4275316
    If you're basing a game on the American Army, the Rangers are the only SpecOps who aren't dicks to everyone else.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:01 No.4275325
    Man, I fucking hate Singapore. The people are ok, but goddamn if the rules don't make me want to tear my hair out.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:02 No.4275327
    Thread is made of awesome and hilarious stories from enlisted men. Military stories are always funny, for some reason
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:05 No.4275355
    >Singapore is incredibly anal about sex, so no nudie mags at home
    Ummm, can you explain this a bit more? No porno mags? Do you rely on the internet?
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:10 No.4275392
    Rangers are pretty cool guys. I think it comes from the fact that they kind of do the same sorts of things that like everyone else does.

    So, they're the "military advisors" who teach other armies how to fight. And while they're at it, also do army corps of engineers stuff and teach them how to make bridges and speak english and stuff. and they do special ops.

    Every Ranger I've met is like MacGyver, but less insane, and is generally pretty easy going.

    SEALs are cunts who are nothing but macho posturing. The same is true for the entirety of the Marine corps.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:10 No.4275396
    Lots of countries in South East Asia, especially the crazy Muslim ones, have obscenity laws which prohibit nudity. Playboy Indonesia's offices were stoned and the editors were taken to court. In the Phillipines, Playboy has no actual nudity.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:12 No.4275409

    That's because civilians would say "fuck it, i quit" long before it got to the point where the incompetence of others gave them something worthy of a story.

    I mean, if i could've quit way back to my early years when my house flooded and my supervisor wanted me in to work that night even though I was standing in a veritable fucking lake, I would've missed out on all the great stories of "what the fuck" that would've ensued.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:16 No.4275448

    So they really do read it for the articles?
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:20 No.4275494
    >Playboy has no actual nudity.
    Doesn't sound too bad to me, I have a liking for non nude stuff. But fuck if I don't want variety.
    I play paintball with a ex-Ranger. Cool guy, but he is pretty nuts. Always has great stories about the places he's been and the people he's killed.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)01:56 No.4275828

    Singapore's pretty screwed up in some ways, but it's safe and stable and boring. I can live with that.
    >> Anonymous 04/14/09(Tue)02:02 No.4275870
    My Dad has told me a few stories from his Navy days.

    Him and his best friend got shore leave, so they go to a local restaurant, and all you can eat Chinese buffet.
    They go in as soon as it opens in the morning... and are kicked out at 5 that night. "YOU NO COME HERE NO MORE! YOU NOT ALLOWED! YOU EAT TOO MUCH!"
    They go back a week later, it's no longer an All-You-Can-Eat.

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