Meanwhile on dragon /TG/
Those are wyverns.
>>41410248Don't be racist, elder dragon. We have to accept all drakes and dragon-like creatures here.Damn lawwizards with their stupid "progressive" laws.
>>41410274Well it's not the worst thing to happen, some of the beta females have been taking a liking to feminism.
>>41410240>session starts, playing dragonmaker>we all meet in a cavern>party consists of copper(me), silver, gold, and blue dragons>another dragon is roleplaying a black wyvern >brooding in some cranny>we all talk a bit showing off our breath weapons>try to pull the wyvern in to the conversation>starts going off about how his poison could totally kill all of us in our sleep>whatever>we set off>goldy starts to build up a little kingdom of humans, elves, dwarves and whatnot>silver starts up a guild of paladins under pelor>Blue gets the beginning of a dictatorship started>Meanwhile I'm off fucking with a tribe of kobolds>wyvern is just fucking with our domains the whole time, "assassinating" people>first year passes>blue is being tyrannical>silver is dealing with blue>gold is still building>Taught the kobolds "how to be dragons">the wyvern steals the princess of golds kingdom>demands ransom of golds horde>gold freaks out and starts raising an army>wyvern player rapes the princess>allmywhat.jpg>we all call him out for being a "That Drake">gets super pissy, breaths steam everywhere>laughing matriarchs.jpg>continue session as normal>tfw pink dragons try to be all edgyOn an unrelated note I now need to get a new laptop, fucking talons.
>>41410248Fuckin 4 legged autists.
>>41410248No, they're helicopters
>>41410240Dragonkind Fuck Yeah (DFY) Thread?
So... have you watched the new season of Natrium Dragon? What systems would you recommend to run a game based on the show?
>>41410240>/TG/Forumfags get out.
>>41410240On dragon /tg/ everything is a sticky, everyone circles one another warily, and flame wars go on forever and never truly end. Neckbeards are all ancient autists repeating the same mantras endlessly. Essentially, the battletech forums.
The local king claims he will give you his daughter if you stop looting and burning towns. Wat do?
>>41411748If human, then burn the fucker for his audacity in thinking a dragon needs some puny mortal that rarely reaches a century for anything.If other race, depends on race, most likely still involves burning the fucker.
>>41410274Does that mean I am finally allowed to come in?
I'd play a boardgame based on the idea of you being a dragon trying to build up a kingdom of whatever the hell you manage to take over. That would be pretty cool.
>I roll to seduce the humanEvery single time. I can't even tell if they're joking anymore.
>>41413122I agree, we have to always reskin everything since there's no dragon race option, we need a fellow dragon to write a book for once
Lindwyrm slave, wat do?
>>41412156Pssh I bet you don't even have a hoard
>>41415688Fuck off, we have this thread every day. What is it with dragon /tg/ and hating on wyrms? It's always "It's not rape if it's a wyrm," or "Wyrms are for lewd," or whatever the fuck it is. Christ.And don't get me started on people complaining about weeaboos. There's nothing wrong with liking lungs, okay? Get over it. Show us on the fucking doll where the Imperial touched you with his five fucking talons.
What do you guys think of the new Age of Tiamat?I'm concerned over the lack of hoard rules
RAUGHRALL GRAOWL RAURSeriously why did they make White Dragons feral and stupid? They could've made them really focused on survival above most niceties about not eating visitors, but almost tribal.
>>41410615>>Meanwhile I'm off fucking with a tribe of kobolds>>Taught the kobolds "how to be dragons"Oh. So that's what they call it these days.
>>41410240Goblins keep out of my hoard!REEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRFWOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHH
>>41416573>Wawawa, the rulestome has to tell me exactly how many coins my hoard can have and of what type.The new Age of Tiamat is more casual, and tries to appeal non-neckfrills like you. Also, stop saying they are phasing Ancalagon out of the game, there are still a bunch of Morgoth's units available and those are way less wyrmling-friendly.
So I'm DMin' a group whose main motivation is to re-merge Io by getting Bahamut and Tiamat to get romantically involved.So pretty much their making me play match maker between brother and sister. Should I drop my group?
>ywn fug a human
>>41416573It was a stupid exclusion. Being able to win by amassing Hoard and building legend while the mouth breathing 2edgy5me "burn city, eat princess, I am fire! I am death!" sperglords just went full metal breath weapon and got killed by heroes by turn 4 was an integral part of the game. Now it's dumbed down for wyrms under the age of 160 who somehow seem to think just burning things nets you money.Regrettable change. 2/10, would consume developers.
>>41416889So you like beastiality
>>41416889I never understood why so many drakes and dragons out there like humans. They're so small and squishy! They're kind of pretty to look at, but too easy to crush underfoot.
>>41415688This is a blueboard. Censor that shit. You can see her cloacal scales.
>>41416960>what is polymorph?
>>41417044A spell facilitating a mortal fetishist diluting pure dragon blood.
>>41416960I saw this and thought "why are they all exhaling smoke, only one head has the pipe." And then a realized oh right, they're all dragons.
>>41417183>Just now realizing that.I want the humie to leave.
>>41417044So let me get this straight: you want me to turn into a human...in order to have human sex...with a human? Who will probably leave me in like a decade because of some plague?
>>41417183Remove mammal!Remove mammal!
>>41416960>tfw no bigger than a stagecoach.I can't be the only one here that dreams of getting ridden by a cute human female in armor, right?>tfw she will never allow you to plunder her soft squishy human cloaca.How do you cope with this for centuries, guys?
>>41410240>/TG/Why do people keep doing this?
>>41417283>People.Our ancestors spelled it like that, so deal with it.
Guys, I'm thinking of running a How To Train Your Human themed campaign. Which system is best for that?
>>41417280At least get an elf, they last longer. Younglings these days have no taste.No wonder our numbers are so low. Too much lesser race fucking.
>>41417280Please tell me you're not one of those "rider" fetishists. Tiamat, you fuckers are disgusting. Who would want to be ridden by a human.>cloacaMammals have vaginas. How are you this bad at your own fucking fetish?
>>41417280I amass a horde and hope that maybe I can replace beautiful feelings with beautiful things.>>41417283It actually stands for the original name of the traditional games board, "Terhunz Gathaar," which roughly translates in your crude tongue to 'games played part in the mind.' It has to be capitalized because it's in Forktongue.
>>41416960Physically they're a lot like the little stuffed animals some of us had as wyrmlings and maybe for some it's a way to recapture a certain childhood innocence.Of course that does lead to some worrying implications when you start talking about sexual relations, but frankly I don't feel like exploring that particular cave right now.
>>41417455I think fondly about my old kobold collection and I certainly don't think about fucking any of them
W-would you a Kobold?
>>41417338>Implying I want an elf.They may last longer, but those are rutted raw by everything that moves! Why do you think there's so many princess fetishists that always go human? You're the one with shit taste, elder dragon!>>41417355>Not wanting to feel the closeness of their rump as you fly.>Not forming a bond as hard as your very scales.Whats there not to like?And I say cloaca for familiarity, the same way human dragon fetishists would say "dragon pussy".>>41417368>I amass a horde and hope that maybe I can replace beautiful feelings with beautiful things.How as it worked out?
>>41417577It's demeaning. If you're gonna fuck a mortal make it something fun to dominate. >not finding a strong orcish female chief >not humiliating her in a contest of wills>not fathering a half breed warlord child that leads your new tribe of pawns to victoryHuman knights are only good for the magic items they carry into my lair and die with.
>>41417688What evenot is the obsession with human mating?
>>41417483Well allow me to welcome you to the internet.
>>41417772Fucking Reds, I bet your kind did this
>>41417739Fuck if I know. What the fuck is with these nerds wanting to play glorified pony for a female knight?
>>41417688>If you're gonna fuck a mortal make it something fun to dominate.Seriously? Come on doesn't that get old after a couple of decades or even a few centuries?Open your mind to other ways, elder dragon. Not everything needs to be about domination.
>>41417855>not about domination Okay we can confirm that you are actually insane
>>41417577To be fair, I'd never bother with a puny two legs as a mate. No, one must find a proper dragon mate, and if you feel kinky, the two of you can always resort to polymorph spells and the like.But not any earlier than two or three centuries pass together, and with some ritual magic added in to boot for insurance. You can never be too sure.
>>41417855I don't connect intimately with beings inherently inferior to me. But if I am going to fuck one, it'll be one that thinks they're hot breath so I can knock them down a peg.
>>41417855>Not everything needs to be about domination.Mortal Internet defence force, pls go
>>41417855This. Just this. No wonder everything is turning to shit, when you younger dragons are so corrupt and lazy. EVERYTHING is about domination! EVERYTHING! YOU have the hoard because you have the strength of mind, body and soul to take it. YOU kill the knight and take their stuff. Otherwise you are turned into tasteless suits of armour.If you lack the will to dominate everything that surrounds you I guarantee you will not live to see the end of your fifth century.
>>41417855Son we are literally the best species to live and always will be, to not remind mortals who think they're hot shit that they are worthlessential is to encourage them to strive beyond their abilities, hurting both them and us in the process
>>41417957Hah! Dragon scale armor.Did you hear that little shit Dengadrion got himself slain and turned into a little black acid-proof scale dress?All I can say is "about time."
>>41417886>>41417892>>41417901>>41417928>>41417957>>41417999Fine then.This atmosphere reminds me of when I was an hatchling constantly about to be eaten. I survived though! And I shall have my human knight, with Tiamat as my witness, even if I have to burn down an entire civilization just to raise her myself!
>>41418039Show some fucking class you little shit, you're a Dragon, how about you hold your self to that standard, that's the real problem, kinks and fetishes have been around forever, but no one holds themselves to any standards anymore, even older drakes.
>>41418090Uhuh. I suppose I can at least appreciate the spirit of that statement.That's about all I can say though.What will you do when that puny human dies though? They never last long really.
>>41418186You think I care when it dies? I know they don't last, but I'm a fucking dragon! If I feel like it I can just repeat it again and again until I'm bored with it and ready to move on to something else!This century its human husbandry the next it will be princess kidnapping!
>>41416861It's honestly pretty normal in mythology/pantheons. If you find it too icky tell them, not us.
>>41418138Uh, I'm not going to feel bad for somebody who ended up as a barbarian's blouse. But I was moved to tears.Of laughter.
>>41417855Well, yeah, but orcs don't last more than a few decades. Especially not when they're popping out halfbreed children regularly.
>>41418246This kind of attitude is why dragons go extinct in some places. Wasting time with stuff like that, instead of gathering a proper hoard, attracting a proper mate and securing a proper territory with plenty of lesser beings worshiping you.
>>41410240Hydra slave what do?
>>41418298Go to china you hippie
>>41418430Honestly the lungs got a good racket setup, the mortals there think that they care
>>41417577Sort of? I get adventurers who visit now and then, and they're nice to talk to. I met a nice lady-dragon once who complimented me on my emerald collection. She has a lair nearby, but I'm too nervous to go over and say hello.
Hey, so this faggot moved into the valley next to mine. I'm not sure if he's even a dragon or not, called himself some weird name. I believe he said Teletha or some other gobbledygook, whatever it is I don't know what to do or what it might do.Any other dragons out here have experience with this weird looking fag? All he seems to do is drain the nearby Magic crystals and shoot lazers at adventurers
>>41419023And forgot my pic. Sorry, I have a headache after some retarded dwarves tried to sneak into my horde. They tasted aweful and must've been eating some of that GMO crap the humans a few miles a way have been making. Been thinking of torching that place
>>41419062Never heard of the dude, but he doesn't look like a proper dragon. But as long as he's zapping adventurers I'm sure he's okay.
OFFICIAL DRAGON 4CHAN BOARD ASSIGNMENTS/b/ - Black/pol/ - White >implying/v/ - RedAny other suggestions?
>>41420088>/tg/>anything but silver
>>41420088BlueWe're a bunch of smug and condescending assholes who get things done and are arguably among the least evil of the Chromatics
>>41420088/fit/ - muscular gay dragon/vr/ - low resolution dragon/lgbt/ - Identifies as a griffon, check your privilege Wyrm-scum
>>41420324>One identifies as a fucking brick.I've actually meet someone like that.
>>41420129I thought /tg/ was shiny and chrome.
>>41420567>Silver dragons befriend humanoids of all races, but shorter-lived races such as humans spark their curiosity in a way that the longer-lived elves and dwarves don't. Human shave a drive and zest for life that silver dragons find fascinating.
>>41420679>humans shave a driveThis is what I get for rushing a transcribing
>>41416889SMUTDRAGS IN BODY BAGSSMUTDRAGS IN BODY BAGSSMUTDRAGS IN BODY BAGS
>>41420679It makes sense, but I figured /tg/ would be copper because copper dragons love games.
>>41416644Not all whites are dumb
>>41421205Really? They probably got a magic amulet that grants extra intelligence stuck on a tooth or something.
>>41417529>fucking The HelpOnly as a hatchling, and that's just to keep you from blowing your load the second you're with a person that matters.
>>41421293Like, after 150 years or something they reach int 10. Then they keep going up, albeit slowly, until they're int 16 or 18 or something.
>>41421411Right. So they're stupid.I mean sure, a humanoid would find that smart, but c'mon.
>>41421516Basically.But at least they're not blacks.
>>41422088Or niggers as I like to call them.
/tg/, what's the most unusual thing you can make a dildo out of?Dildo cactus?
>>41422669A human penis
>>41422669your own mother's left asscheek
>>41421293>>41421411There is sometimes clever white dragons. They are quite rare
>>41410752Requesting a dragon version of pic relatedSpoilered so not to trigger self-hating autists
>>41424729Something about spoilering this image seems a bit silly. I can't for the life of me figure out why.
>>41424859That's because it's a quote from Starwars.
All this humanoid love and hording... Personally, I collect gold, because it's soft to sleep on, and hay catches fire....and I collect virgins, because they stay crispy in milk - usually without adding that odd strawberry coloring.Though there was that one time, I tried to combine the two... Was icky.
>>41424905That's because it's further up the page, you fucknut.
>>41424729Spare me your pity, puny ape. Whether it be riches, a mate, or even knowledge you seek from me it matters not.Even as I die and you take enough of my horde to live in comfort, I know I have the ultimate victory. Tell me, what remains when war takes your world; when famine, disease, and unrest clog your cities, when the gods reign down their wrath upon this world?You? In your cities on the planes, on top of mountains, by rivers? In your villages, so fragilely scattered in the wind? Or my hoard, hidden from sight? For after you and I are dead and forgotten, my kind will continue. Our quiet mark will forever be made in what we have collected, hidden. It will be in the minds of those who seek forever more, while you shall be lost to the elements, having so boldly announced yourselves to death and decay's mighty wrath.And hidden below this mountain, perhaps even after it has been crushed back to the earth, will still remain treasures you cannot hope to comprehend.
>>41425252oh god that kinda sucked. i need to go to bed. or learn to proof read.
>>41424729Spare me your pity, mortal. You gush about your naive vigour, your sprawling republics. What has it brought you?Where are your grand hoards? Your great conquests? Your insight into the nature of the arcane? Even at my basest, when I struggled from my egg, when I fought for life as you do, I did not merely survive. I thrived, with dignity and majesty. I devoured my broodmates. I sacked towns and settlements. I assembled vast congregations of worshippers. You have not.you speak so proudly of your order and societies, little realising that they are but strings, and you their puppets. Your few achievements you place at the feet of your kings and lords, who are nothing more than parasites, fraudsters no better than you who wield power through nothing more than an accident of birth. They tether you to your laws, fooling you with falsities of fealty and duty, denying you the spark of true power needed to become something truly great.I have come to your land to claim what is mine by right. Whether you are devoured or survive, the outcome remains the same. I will leave with my prize, and you shall remain, wallowing in squalor as you have always done. And in a thousand years, you shall remain so, until plague, war or decay cones to claim you. And around your tomb, stretching out before you, the world shall belong to me.
>pillaged every village in a 100 mile radius>toppled every fortress ever made to stop me>so much gold i needed a second lair to hold it all>eaten every knight thats come to slay me>laid with all the princesses of the kingdoms i conquered>still empty insideHow do you cope with your draconic ennui, /dtg/? Sometimes it's just like ... what's the point?
>>41428180Ice-cream, lots and lots of ice-cream.
>>41428461BUT IT KEEPS MELTING!!! :...(
The seal upon my tomb has been undone and I rise to post once again in another dimension
>>41428180I have some advice, but some members of this board may consider it a controversial subject. You tart a humanoid farm. Start with primarily orc and dwarf stock for their general hardiness and breed them generation after generation until they're 95% dragon by ancestry. They'll still maintain humanoid form but possess superior draconic essence, making them the perfect lovers and underlings. Once they're most dragon, you can then cross them with other useful servants such as basilisks for particularly helpful special qualities, but don't overdo it or else you lose the essential quality. They also work as a reverse princess, letting you conquer far away human kingdoms quickly and remotely by placing your humanoid daughter on the throne.This is all of course assuming you can't just get a dragon mate and start a real family. Also before you ask yes I am a zmey, so make any jokes about degenerate Russians that you want.
>>41428952>Depressed dragons have hoards of icecream bowls.
>>41429677As one of the ice-breathing variety I chortle heartily at the thought of flame-breathers hoarding ice cream
>>41430505For a second I thought this was more human fetishist art where they put those weird mammary glands on a dragon
>>41430505Stop posting human drawn art. How can you stand looking at a figure whose muscles are so very wrong. No dragon has pectorals that look that deformed unless they had horrible humaniodification surgery.
H-hi, can I join /dtg/?
FUCKING HUMIES GET OUTSKREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
>>41430615Sod off you embarrassment.
What do you drakes think of the latest edition of Houses & Humans?
>>41430760I don't understand why playing any race other than a dragon is an option, I mean, all other races on the table are just dragons with a suit on so why even bother?
>>41430928Especially considering that there are so many different kinds of dragon to begin with, but for some reason acknowledging this is considered 'racist'.
>>41430928Hey hey hey!I for one think Asian race is great. You couple it with STEM education and you can bring in millions withing a single decade. Am currently making a killing on Indian peninsula. (official module, lvl 6 PCs)
>>41432854Censor that shit dude, this is a blue board
>>41429071Am I supposed to be upset that it only had one wing? or that it's a low quality "I'm popular on deviantart" style drawing?
>>41434303It was a furry who spammed the entirety of /tg/ a long time ago, was far, far worse than what you see happening with virtualoptim or nice daemonette todayThere was also a tripfag that used to be around that you could get banned simply for mentioning but that may not still apply
>>41434426Which one, JP or the D?
>there are dragons out there, who still have weaknesses
nothing's easier than scamming a mortal
>>41428180If destroying kingdoms isn't doing it for you, why not try your hand at building a kingdom? I know humanoids don't seem like much, but you'd be surprised what they can do with a little guidance.
>>41435564But what if some of us don't wanna run a glorified eugenics program like you guys have on Hermea.
>>41410248le epic wyvern meme
>>41435615Well, I suppose there's nothing stopping you if you want to gamble with the quality of your population.It's quite an important thing to leave to chance, but I suppose that might appeal to the more chaotic types out there.
>>41417280>He wants to be ridden by a humanI've seen kobolds with more self respect than you. No dragon with any scrap of pride would let a human ride them like some lowly beast.Tiamat, you fetishists are the reason humans have that stupid idea in the first place. You're ruining our species reputation.
>Mfw moraldrag metallics telling me to stop kidnapping princesses>Mfw I catch filthy drakes trying to steal from my hoard>Mfw stupid wyverns trying to hunt on my turf>MfwAll dragons other than chromatics were a mistake. Drakes are all filthy thieves, wyverns are all retarded, and metallics all have a moral stick up their asses. The world would be better off without them.
So, I came here to ask. What the hell do I do with half-dragons? They're shitting up our hoards, and they're almost ALWAYS half human. Why are so many humans, race traitors and fleshies now? Human/Dragon mix was a mistake.
>>41436782Don't cut yourself on that edge hatchling
>>41436818They're not all bad.
>>41436818Yuran a qt.
>>41436982>Hating lesser "dragons" makes you a hatchlingTailhurt gold dragon detected. Not my fault your kind can't be as glorious as my red dragon brethren.
So where is your lair?I keep my hoard in a few underground caverns deep within a mountain; there's a old stone castle at the top for scenic effect. Also an orphan girl. Don't really remember how she got here. I provide her with some food and lodging, in return for which she gets into the smaller caves and carries out any of my 644 silver rings and 435 golden rings of size C or under lost down the tunnels.
>>41437237>Not my fault your kind can't be as glorious as my red dragon brethrenYou should try /pol/ I'm sure you'd fit in with the feral white dragons there
>>41436818The best half-dragons, look almost entirely like dragons, so as to be minimally offensive to our senses.
>>41437391>Orphan girlSo how many half breeds have you had with her.
>>41437549>fornicating with a humanNo thank you.
>>41437391Enchanted flying castle.Okay, it's more of a flying watchtower at the moment, but it's going to be pimp when it's finished.
>>41437777Come on, just give it a try man. It's not as bad as others make it out to be.
>>41437549On thing I bet she would be really useful for is luring knights.Knight rides by, she stands on the mountainside. I fly out of the secret back entrance and over the peak, she screams and runs through the castle into the caverns. The knight follows her deep into the caverns, I come back in and we relieve him of his armour and loot.To my annoyance, she doesn't seem to taking to the idea at the moment, though. Says they need their armour to protect them from trolls or something. I've told her who-knows-how-many times that I roasted all the trolls fifteen years ago when they wouldn't give me the swords from their raids on the dwarven undercastles, but she just won't hear of it.Ah, well; I wouldn't want her to get hurt doing something like that, anyway. Don't want to lose a trained worker who knows where most of the corridors are.
>>41437850I don't know, last time I tried it she just started screaming and puking up blood and then I think her spine might have broken because after a while she just went limp. Maybe I was doing it wrong but it didn't seem like much fun for either of us.
>>41437795I see; mobile so that you can easily move your hoard to fresh pastures with new villages which can be looted. I like it.>>41437850It slips my mind... how many eggs do humans usually lay?
>>41437850I don't see the point. They can't properly continue my bloodline, and are highly likely to be brainwashed or otherwise driven by the human side of their essence, and are likely to come by either demanding aid from me instead of finding their own, or attempting to slay me for some perceived misdeed towards their human parent.
>>41438140>Replying to NiceDragoness
>>41437850Well, her being a virgin definitely has its uses; do you know much unicorn ivory I've added to my hoard over the last year?
>be celestial dragon>be flying though the a ether for a decade non-stop collecting wisp dew to mix with glaze for statue>only mountain tall enough in world to land on that is above the maginot line for miles around>pack of wryverns moved in and scorched all my Vindalthen rugs>shit everywhere>can't even force them out because they tore down my roost>have to move back in with clutch brother
>>41437391I keep my lair in a dwarven forge keep I cleared out myself deep within a mountain, and have gold scenery outside and complete gold plated interior for my hoard room, encrusted with precious gems, and the local populations worship me
>>41438392Fucking wyverns bro, at least kobolds will have the decency to clean the place up and move out of the way when you return
>>41438767I've never had a problem with them, just shapeshift into humanoid form and hire adventurers to keep their numbers down.
>>41438825This is a pretty good idea actually, I'll have to try this sometimeEven better that since they're adventurers even if they discover you're a dragon since you paid them they likely won't bother you
>>41438825>shape shift into human>as a celestial dragonYes, I get it, we can't use magic. No need to rub it in
>>41417577>elves or humansGoblins are better.
>>41439077Do you see any half dragon/Goblins walking around?
>>41439077Nah, if you want capable servants, Elves, Humans and Orcs are probably your best bet from the 'common' races.
>>41439346Servants? I'd say Humans are the best. They're easy to breed out and mold into perfect little servants. Orcs always have this warrior pride, and stupidity thing, and Elves live too long, and have too little children to actually consider. I mean, for example, in a few hundred years, the human's families would've been long gone, or forgot about their missing members and you have a line of humans no one cares about, and you've raised with 'wisdom' to teach them to follow you. Three hundred years from now with an Elf, and youd' just have the same Elf, or maybe two Elves, with the same Elf still planning on escaping, and still spreading bullshit to their kid. And don't even get me started on the fact, that these guys don't even need to study magic to use it.
>>41438447>draconicoptimYeah and I'm sure your hoard is also the size of human empires, why do you even post in the Terhunz Gathaar category?
>>41439433I meant for creating half-dragons from (because why would you want a servant that isn't part dragon?).Elves, Humans and Orcs have a decent balance of physical and mental abilities that make them ideal for hybridization with whatever you want, really.I'd also include Dwarves and the larger Goblinoids in that list, but Dwarves are naturally somewhat resistant to hybridization (absolutely impossible if you're doing it the 'natural' way) and Bugbears/Hobgoblins aren't nearly as common as their smaller cousins.If you're intending to keep them 'pure', Kobolds are objectively the best.
Which of you degenerates is responsible for this abomination?
>>41439904That is a feat of culinary majesty and you know it!What's wrong, landwyrm? Are you too small and puny to raid a witch's gingerbread house, craft it into the shape of a dragon and gift it to the local town at Winter Solstice as a reminder of your presence power?Hmm? Landwyrm?
>>41439997*presence and power
>>41439904Joke's on you draganon, that's not icing
>>41439904I'm so fucking horny and hungry that I'm ashamed to say that I first thought on some awful things apart from how cool would it be to have a gingerbread dragon.
>>41439556I'd say Elves, for funnily enough several of the reasons why they'd make terrible servants. They live long, so even if they aren't dragon dominant, they'd still live pretty long compartively, and they'd have a huge affinity for magic.However, I'd only have one, or two, because who knows what type of bullshit they'd try, if there's a bunch of them.I'd have the most out of orcs, because as strong as an orc/dragon hybrid would be physically, none of them could match the might of -I-.Humnans are too baseline to do anything, if I want nature, or magic I'd go with elves, if I want brute force, and brutality, I'd go with orcs. If I want a combination of sly, and brutality, I'd try and just mix orcs, and elves. What's the worst that can happen?
>>41416644Whites aren't dumb, they just enjoy savagery. They want to bite your fucking head off and rampage around a battlefield like a maniac, and have extreme tempers.Heck, Rise of Tiamat features a White that specifically collects magic tomes.
>>41440299Humans are the sliest, most cunning race after dragons, in my opinion,
>>41440447You've been reading too many HFY threads. A race known as sly, can't really be all that sly, can they?
>>41440447>Believing Humanity Fuck Yeah threads on Human /TG/pls
>>41440447>humans>cunningIf I want true cunning I take a drow. If I want something obsessed with fucking me I take an human
>Some day, I'll be the biggest dragon ever
>>41441495>there will always be a bigger dragon
I'm curious, does anyone have any That Drake stories?
>>41440447I want softskins to leave
>>41448186>Wyverns aren't awful creaturesTailpained wyvern detected
>kobold slave wat do?
>>41448463Why the fuck is there an aluminium can there?
I'm a squid now.
>>41449688Use your imaginationKobolds can drink, like, a TON of soda
>>41410240>that feel when your retarded wyrmlings keep walking into the largest humanoid settlements and becoming mounts>that feel when you can't just burn the continent down because the mate has this weird obsession with humans and their ilk>that feel when all you want to do is sleep on your pile of gold but crispy critters keep running in trying to steal it.
>>41448186you guys are alright as minions and guards for our hordes.you lot are dumb as hell though.
>>41449265>implying I'm not NEETI haven't even torched a village in ages, I just chill eating livestock. Feels good man.
>>41452395I ate somebody just the other day. Some would-be dragonslaying human. Honestly. I broiled him inside his shiny metal suit and ate him. It always has this nasty metallic flavour to it, though.Anybody have suggestions on how to get around that? Should I strip the metal off them first, maybe apply some spices?
>>41452395>not not in education, employment, or training
>>41438140You're doing it terribly, terribly wrong. You're not supposed to stick it in, and you need to take things slow.>>41438246Aw, what's wrong with me? >>41438178They don't lay eggs, although they wish they could.>>41438180Doesn't matter, had sex with human.>>41438270>VirginHumans are for lewds, anon.
>>41452613Oh yeah, you strip them first.
>>41452753I sort of like the boiled effect you can get from cooking up the armour and letting the heat do its job, it's just the metal taste that happens afterwards.Is there some sort of alternate thing you wrap them in?
>>41452810Using yur saliva and your mouth works.
>>41410240Hey d/tg/ these puny dragonborn things keep showing up and wanting to "serve me honorably," but all I want to do is murder mortals and hoard their stuff. Should I give them jobs or do you think they'll get butthurt about my rampages?
>tfw no scalesI swear I'm going to kill you all some day.
>>41453818ruined the joke by forgetting the pic
>>41453836If you have to explain the joke by adding an image, there is no joke.Fuck off smoothskin.
>>41416644Whites aren't DUMB. They're just dumbER. Whites are still smarter then most people, they're just dumber compared to other dragons.
>Be living in this castle in the middle of a volcano.>Protect this softskin for years, because people are scared of her polymorphism ability.>Not even having enough time to amass a real hoard.>Every now and then, out of nowhere comes another softskin in a metallic suit, says something about their journey through deserts and the higher tower and stuff.Like I give a wyrm tail about any of it.>Burn it down to crisps.
>>41449688Imagine not knowing of the blurred coke can
So this human walks into my lair, and I'm about to fry him, right?Then he starts telling me about easy ways to increase my horde. So I humor him, I mean, who doesn't like screwing with their prey?He tells me that if I PROTECT the humans on my territory and collect tribute, my horde would grow faster then just torching everything and taking it. I don't even know how that works. But I still get to eat bandits and invading armies. So I decided to spare the mortal and give it a try, just a few decades mind you.But, by Tiamat, he was RIGHT! It's only been 50 years and my horde has grown by half! The humans in my territory never had that much! I flew out the other day and they'd built cities when I wasn't looking! The trade caravans stretch for miles. They had statues of me in the middle of town. They CELEBRATE giving me gold once a year.It made me sick the first few times but I also discovered something. Turns out if you give them small amounts of your horde to improve their cities and land, humans make MORE gold and give you a bigger amount then normal.
Y'all are all assholes
>>41453906Quit trying to be PC about it, White Dragons are flat out retarded.
>>41454483Don't do it, it's a trick. Burn them all.
>>41441495>Palm of the White God>12 km wingspan>Has existed in the skies for over 9 millenniums
>>41454483>tributeAnodragon, that's not what to do. You know how those dwarves have the thing they call "banking"? Well, we sleep on the mother lode of start-up investments.Turn your hoard into a bank. Charge interest. I can guarantee that it will work. And if they shirk on their loans, nothing like eating a few of them to get the rest to pay up.
>>41413122>>41415598By Tiamat, let's do it. That's something I'd spend my hoard on! If by 'my hoard' I mean paying by not burning the systemsmith...
>>41416904How would one find such a thing?
>>41454856Anondragon, I listened to another softskin who suggested this thing called 'investing'. Should I do it?Is it worth it to spend a bit of my hoard to mortal businesses or is he just trying to scam me.I'm sorry if I seem new at this, but I've only been managing my hoard on my own for three centuries.
>>41455307>making deals with humans
>>41455307They are checking to see if you actually have a hoard, the only payoff you will receive is being murdered in your own lair by some upstart metal plated human with a sword some sorcerer pissed on because they will want your hoard once they know you have one
I just want the humans in my brood to stop using necromancy and let the dead rest is that so much to ask for? Oh and maybe murder the broods run by my brothers and sisters too while they're at it.
>>41448463I heard they make excellent traps.
>>41455931And now easier to read.
>>41455983What kind of traps?
>>41456217>Godwin law applied to /tg/:>As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of bringing traps approaches 1.
>>41410240Hey has anyone here played Groundrim?It's part of the ''Elder Scales'' series.You get to play a human-born dragon saving clutches from the pesky hands of mortals and absorbing their souls to strengthen your selves.It's sad that all the quests besides the ones for the silver, steel and green dragons suck.
>>41457829The fuck am I looking at?
Fuck you guys! You sour wyrms are all just upset that we're more attractive, and taking your formerly secure jobs in popular media!
>>41459911>More attractive>Worth anything at allTopsnortYou wyverns and your little delusions
>>41459993Stay mad, while we go on to overtake your presence in movies, and video games.
>>41459911I will build a magical wall on the border of Thay to stop those damned wyrs from flying over here and taking yer jobs!
>>41460160Enjoy it, just don't come and shit in my lair again or I'll have to thin your numbers
I have a problem.My daughter has made no effort to move out of our lair. I was fine with her staying a few centuries - give her time to explore and experiment and grow, you know? But she's just shown no interest in power, or carving her own lair, or even building a hoard.For a couple of centuries I thought she was planning to kill me and take MY hoard. I wouldn't have let her, and it would break my heart to kill my own offspring, but at least I could be proud of her ambition. But she's not even doing that! She just lays about all day writing and drawing like some bronze drake.And the subject of this art? Humans. Humans! Not even about dominating them, but about peace and FRIENDSHIP.She's some kind of sick fascination with them. I'm growing very worried.How can I get my daughter to rise up and be a proper dragon?
>>41460719Hire some humans to try to slay her.
>>41460719get her some proper companionship.
>>41459911What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little wyrmling? I’ll have you know I'm the greatest red dragon of my egg clutch, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on you dirty wyverns, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in aerial warfare and I’m the top dragon in the entire nine planes. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with strength the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Dragnet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of minions across the planes and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you filthy wyvern. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, wyrmling. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare claws. Not only am I extensively trained in aerial combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of my hoard, cultivated over centuries of victorious raids, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable tail off the face of the material lane, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will breathe fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, wyrmling.
>>41460797But not too tough ones. Make it a few reasonably novice ones, but still enough of a challenge for it to feel like an accomplishment.
>>41460719Find a mate for your offspring who can whip her into shape
I have absolutely no idea what just happened>Be I>Peacefully residing in my lair, just finished counting my horde, ready to go stretch my wings>Hear someone yelling at another person in the distance>It's some fucking smoothskins that are dressed all funny>Pay no attention to it, as long as they don't come too close it's fine>Hear some distant echoing getting closer and closer by the passing second>Poke my head out to see what the commotion is>One of the guys is literally jumping across the cliffside>Literally jumping, he's moving about 50ft per jump at my running speed>He's whacking the rocks as he goes along with some metal object, is it sorcery to propel him farther?>Starts leaping through my cave before I can even move to try and stop him>Makes a full loop through the maze-like catacombs I had and leaps off with a good portion of my horde>He completely ignored the captive princess I had who passed out from the shock of seeing this unfoldWhat in Tiamat's name just happened, /tgd/? Is this some new sorcery the smoothskins have created?
>>41460797>>41461005You fools, if you send humans to slay her she'll probably end up making friends with them, and who knows what that could lead to!
>be phoenix>invited to play Humans and households with some dragons>nervous as fuck the whole time>DM is a qt ice dragon>DMPC started to hit on my character>Spaghetti wanting to burst from under my wings the whole time>got home and started to flap furiouslyI will ask her out next week.
>>41461380THIS IS THE DRAGON THREADBIRDIES GET OUT WRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY
>>41461234>not putting mines in your hoard to stop cappersnoob
>>41461463Good point, I remembered hearing some discussion about a group of Technologist Demolitions Experts that were going to be passing through. Goblins, I believe. They should be able to keep everything safe and sound.
>>41461432>WRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYou get out too, vampire.>>41461234Was he chanting something along the lines of must go faster?
>>41461696By Tiamat, I think he was! Have you heard of this menace, too?
>>41461736here, I made a drawing of what he might look like
>>41461775Hmm, I see. I'll be sure to put a notice out in the town for this man, they know they shouldn't be interfering with my lair. I'm going to hope for their sake this was not their doing.
>>41460938You call that a buff body?
>>41454172Do you find 4 legged beasts of burden attractive
So, Dragon /tg/ i have a problem. Recently our DM has been been inviting a female elf to our game 'Homes and households'. Now, i dont have a problem with elfs (i still hook up with the king of the forest elves every few decades)The problem is; shes a total dragoboo.My dm is a few centuries younger than the rest of us, and is still in that phase of infatuation with lesser beings, but her obsession with our kind stopped being cute to the rest of us long ago. She insists on playing a dragon, even though the rest of us are playing level 0 farmers! i mean for Tiamats sake, Homes and Households dont even have stats for dragons! To top it off, she barely knows anything about actual dragon culture! Almost as soon as she saw i was a greater green dragon, she asked if i knew Mallorious, yes, -THE- Mallorious, guardian of the eternal forest. As if all green drakes know eachother. I mean, i do know him, but she couldnt possibly have known that.
So being a respectable silver dragon that I am, I decided to claim a dormant volcano as my most humble abode.Once I got settled in and did some decorating and renovations here and there to make the place more lively and welcoming, when I finally peeked out of my lavishly styled open concept aerie I cannot help but notice a fledgling human kingdom at the base of my home!The audacity of these lesser mortal things settling whenever they please! The nerves! I claimed this mountain first only 346 years ago! Ahem... being a reasonable and rational gentlewyrm that I am, I swooped down on their largest most phallic earthen effigies and demanded to see their king, in low draconic of course, I know their muzzles and primitive minds cannot hope to annunciate and comprehend the subtle intricate polytonality and syntax of high draconic, to my bewilderment nary a lesser soul understood me.Thankfully their little royal retinue dragged out a young sorceress who spoke low draconic in the most horrendous dialect I have ever have the pleasure of hearing! Arghh! Part of me wanted to kill and devour them all on the spot for their obtrusive barbarisms, but being a much higher and superior form of existence I must set an example and enlighten them! I demanded that the kingdom grant me custody of all their little princes and princesses for payment of residing on my domain and I will educate them in the ways more proper to administer my dominion and return them 50 years later, sigh... a gnats eye's flicker, but you should have seen them plead and beg when I said 500!And I got a hold of 8 princes and 17 princesses, and dare me I forgot how demanding it is to feed them and clothe them, not to mention scheduling lesson times, they can't even pay attention for 2 days, let along 2 years! And they need 8 hours of sleep Every Single Day! What miserable little lives they lead! continued
>>41462662>TFW, can't even be in the same room as a tiny mortal.Damn my amazing lava body and it's face melting temperature.
>>41454483>giving away parts of your hoard>ISHYGDDTYou are a fucking disgrace to dragonkind.
>wearing your hoardDoes anyone else do this?
>>41462731So I taught them low draconic, crude magic, basic philosophy, etiquette, civility and most importantly common decency, I even took them abroad and visited the spring court of the Queen of Halcyons to learn traditional tea ceremonies, they seem different when I returned to pick them up, it must be what the humans called puberty taking effect! I showed them sights and met beings they have never dreamt of meeting! The Periodic court of elementals to gain a healthy appreciation for interplanar and interspecies customs and many more! Sure a few of them met unfortunate ends but 21 of them survived and are better for it!When our agreed upon time was up, I brought the little buggers back to their kingdom, the sorceress claimed they don't even resemble the children they once were, ha ha! What brash ignorance! Of course they are! The old king was so excited seeing his sons and daughters for the first time after 50 years, he fell down on the red velvet carpet and started break dancing! Ha ha!And it happens my little deal with the kingdom has become a tradition, every succeeding generation of rulers, grant me custody of their heirs so I may properly mold them to be upstanding beings of civility and decency. And after what I think has been 62 or so mortal iterations of this, the rulers now look like this, they appear to be twice or maybe thrice as large as the other humans appear to be.Tell me /tg/ is this what a human of royal blood supposed to look like?
>>41462254W,what the fuck are you talking about?! I'm not into bestiality, you sick fuck.
>>41462945So, tell me Anodrag, did you mix something into their food? erm, selectively...breed....any of them?i have been in the game of mortal politics for a long time, and they most certainly are not supposed to look like that.
>>41462945The only differences in humanity as a whole is their clothes, skin color, hair color, and eye color in appearance. I don't think they grow fucking wings.
>>41462945You done goofed man. That's some kind of giant insect.
>>41463057At first I was feeding them raw carcasses of whatever I have hunted, later on I've learned they can't consume raw meat directly, it most be cut and burnt with fire. These lesser mortals sure are difficult to keep alive.I've only fed them burnt flesh and water.And on occasion took them on field trips abroad across different planes of existences. Surely a little inter dimensional travel and sampling of exotic delicacies, alchemic cocktails and intermingling of new exciting lesser mortal things would broaden their horizon wouldn't you agree?>>41463124>I don't think they grow fucking wings.I but like their new wings! It gives them a respectable and regal appearance.>>41463152>That's some kind of giant insect.Yes humans are like insects compared to us. But I fail to see that being a problem.
>>41462032>says the Elf cross shifter
Hey everyone, Bolas here with new update on the plan>ZendikarEmrakul and Kozilek have escaped, Ulamog is fucking shit up. Popcorn is ready. I cannot wait for the tentacle rape.>PhyrexiaAll according to the plan.>TarkirKilled faggot Ugin, I think I saw that retard of Sarkhan flying around. He's an incompetent anyways.
>>41463266>Says the tiny baby drake.
>>41462945bro, I think your humans catched some nasty shit on another plane, should get them checked
>>41460160>Rathalos>DangerousDo you even Alatreon? It ain't called the Walking Apocalypse for nothing.
humans are soft and cuddly
>>41464413I could fit a lair in that nose.
>>41465721I bet a human drew that. The body looks all weird and anthropomorphic.To answer your question, though, kobolds. Determined, organized, and usually loyal.
>>41465868I second kobolds, although be sure to have some more nasty stuff laying around in case of adventurers, hard as they try a lot of the time kobolds simply can't cut it when defending your lair
>>41465721I've been thinking of opting for lizardfolk, anyone have anything to add...regarding them?
>>41465721I generally avoid discriminating when it comes to my preferences. Still, I have a soft spot for some of those smooth skinned ones... The way they clamor for favor, gifts, power, it's so adorable. And if you're of the shapeshifting variety, you can have some fun.
>>41465721I find that kobold, while annoying, are exceptionally loyal minions. Lizardfolk also tend to make excellent servants, and are significantly less annoying.
>>41461234I'm back. Looks like it's going to get a bit quieter around here for a while on account of having to burn down that stupid town. Turns out that guy WAS sent by them to harass me and they had a "welcoming party" ready for me when I got back.Never trust a damn human.
Guys guys my brother just saw Dunkelzahn chilling down by foot of out valley, he was wearing glasses but he's sure it was him!
>>41471783/dtg/, I need some advice, guys, I think I fucked up real bad.I woke up from a nine month nap after doing nothing but drinking the week before and my favorite human slave is pregnant.I know it's at least dragon because I can smell it in her and I only keep one gender of slaves to avoid this.Oh, fuck, oh fuck... And then there's my parents.Shit, do I just eat her? Kill her and bury the body?
>>41472102Accept it. Raised the halfbreed to be your minion. If it proves strong enough, make it your lieutenant.Halfbreeds tend to come back for revenge of not raised properly though, so try to treat it at least a little better than your normal minions.
>>41472102What >>41472145 said. however, as extra precaution, I'd wait until you can actually get a good look at it before you decide on anything. Personal preference I suppose, but if it looks like a human, I'd dispatch of it, as those kinds are more likely to embrace their human side and resent you.
>>41472145>>41472170Okay... And oh, fuck. I think I'm about to find out if the kid is even mine way sooner than later, I think she's going to lay! Fuuuuuck! So much for 'young adult' lasting a good century!
Is there a fantasy book swhere dragons are depicted for good.I mean they are powerfull, very intellgient, why the fuck they are not running the whole nations in secrets and enjoy small plots against each other?maybe a video game where youa re dragon and can grow yourself and grow your nations.
>>41413122fuck yeah.Althrough it would be a solitary play.maybe a vidya would work better?What about a Dwarf fortress mod when you add a Dragon to rule over the settlement.
>>41473439and kobolds instead of dorfs