>Archive links:http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20QuestTwitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuestYou are Urist Twelfthbay, and you're a dwarf- in other words, a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Currently, you're smack-dab in the middle of a bar, cradling a barrel of booze, and you're as happy as a clam- no, /happier/. Clams aren't smart enough to suffer from existential crises stemming from a tragic Gamindustri-enforced inability to grow beards and look properly dwarfy, but on the flip side, they also can't enjoy getting drunk enough to forget all that shit.Not that you actually CAN get shitfaced to the point where you forget stuff, pass out, or start acting like a total ass. You're a dwarf and all, so that's not physically possible, for one thing. For another thing, you're increasingly certain that dwarves only suffer hangovers and shit like that when they start suffering alcohol WITHDRAWAL. From where you're standing, that makes a hell of a lot more sense: only drinking allows you to keep the good times comin' and withstand the bad times, so-Okay, you're getting real off-track here- alcohol is one of the few things you can wax poetic about- so anyway, you're sitting in the bar cunningly called the Fighting Frog, which itself sits right on the bit of coast closest to the Leanbox nation's landmass. All sorts of strange characters seem to drink here, and you're FULLY aware that you and your party qualify under "strange."You're here to rest and stock up and ride a boat there, ostensibly to go meet some of your friends (but most likely to go punch some assholes in the gut, though you don't say that out loud). Now, the question is, what the hell is /Ein/ doing here, drinking some sort of- sugary fruity cocktail drink with an umbrella in it? Really?(Cont.)
>>39535976"Lower your voice," the Warrior of Light hisses, dispensing with the flowery language as she tightens her cloak around herself, glancing across the room to where your friends are sitting. "Today has been a decent day so far. I do not wish to ruin it by ruining /Estelle's/ day. And, belatedly, hello to you as well, Urist."R-Right- you push your barrel of booze onto the table so that it blocks Ein's face from sight. Your surrogate big sis has... well, she has a /history/ with Ein, even though that's not the best fucking way to describe it. 'Rivalry' doesn't quite seem to cut it, either. Whatever happened, it was enough to get them almost at each other's throats the last time they met in person, and /that/ particular meeting ended in Estelle fleeing in tears.That wouldn't go so well today, since Estelle's sort of due for getting screwed over by a nasty glitch- the price she's going to willingly pay for saving your asses by fucking with universal laws of physics. It remains to be seen whether YOU'RE willing to let her pay that, but you'll burn that bridge later today."As for your question..." Ein clears her throat before pitching her voice into its usual grave, dramatic tone. "From on high, the Goddess descended. Unable to act through the chains of duty that bind her to her realm, she tasked what few warriors she could find. Their travels will send them ranging far and wide, destined to never cross-"(Cont.)
>>39535986So Ein's... on a mission of some sort? Like, from a literal goddess, or is that some sort of hoity-toity fancy-ass figurative phrase meaning something-Ein takes a delicate sip from her neon-flavored abomination before pinching the bridge of her nose. Seems like she's a little more harried now than the last time you met her, and your breaking her monologues can't be helping. "The Goddess is the Goddess," she says flatly. "As to which of the four I am currently working for, you can probably guess. Now please- go, before Estelle sees me here talking with you and goes maudlin."Well, at least Ein didn't, like, follow you and your party over who knows how many miles and days! Probably. Hopefully.... well, you can deconstruct that bridge when you come to it, hopefully without killing everyone underneath it via catastrophic cave-in.[ ] [BOOZE] Treat Estelle and Rokko to drinks- a way to get the Dragon Warrior to calm down, a peace offering to the Blue Bomber, and a gesture of appreciation to both for sticking with you.[ ] [PRESS EIN] OH no. Ein's not getting away with being vague- sure, it's nosy as hell, but you're worried if this is something you should be /worried/ about. ... also, offer her booze.[ ] [SOULS] Approach Souls and her other knight buddy, ask 'em about the ultra-tough monsters they were grumbling about. If there's danger between here and Leanbox, you wanna know.[ ] [TEKKEN] Approach Tekken and Ai Masushima, head off whatever it is they're planning to do. You're not suffering any shenanigans while you and your friends are relaxing.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39536008>[X] [BOOZE] Treat Estelle and Rokko to drinks- a way to get the Dragon Warrior to calm down, a peace offering to the Blue Bomber, and a gesture of appreciation to both for sticking with you.A hearty pint of Ale for Estelle, a nice E-Can for Rokko, and see if we can get Rokko drunk enough she confuses Rush for a different Rush and ends up going for a ride in the Turbo Tunnel.I'm going to Hell.
>>39536008[X] [BOOZE] Treat Estelle and Rokko to drinks- a way to get the Dragon Warrior to calm down, a peace offering to the Blue Bomber, and a gesture of appreciation to both for sticking with you.
>>39536008[X] booze for the crewPossibly check on the souls pair afterwards?
>>39536008> [BOOZE] Treat Estelle and Rokko to drinks- a way to get the Dragon Warrior to calm down, a peace offering to the Blue Bomber, and a gesture of appreciation to both for sticking with you.
>>39536008>[x] [BOOZE] Treat Estelle and Rokko to drinks- a way to get the Dragon Warrior to calm down, a peace offering to the Blue Bomber, and a gesture of appreciation to both for sticking with you.You tricky bastard, you know this is the only way to get us all to vote for something.
>>39536008>[X] [BOOZE]>... next post!Well... 'kay, Ein's sort of got a point: the last thing ANY of you need right now, after all the shit you've been through, is to end up wallowing in bucketfuls of drama. Right here, right now, you're all in a drama-free zone, and it will damn well be characterized by drinking and relaxation and a chance to recharge your fucking batteries after what feels like running through an endless gauntlet of horrible revelations and even worse boss fights.So with a gruff acknowledgment, you make to pick up your barrel of booze and leave- except Ein grabs hold of your shoulder."Unpredictable are the fates, ever-shifting and all but impenetrable," she intones, her hood only partially concealing her bright green eyes. "What we see with our eyes is rarely the truth; only standing by our comrades will we rise above harsh reality. For the sake of our futures, new threads must be forged, intertwined through the world's inscrutable magitech."It takes you a few moments to parse through that. She... she'd like for you to, uh... swap numbers? Like, phone numbers, and not hypothetical metaphorical threads of fate or-Ein nods somewhat impatiently, the invisible breeze ruffling her bangs and her cloak.>EXCHANGE NUMBERS WITH EIN?[ ] [YES][ ] [NO]
>>39536530>[ ] [YES]Can't have too many legendary adventurers on the phone list.
>>39536530>[X] [YES]Okay, why should everyone say yes?So that future write-ins can all be:"[X] BOOZE, and text Ein calling her a verbose hipster."
>>39536530>[ ] [YES]
>>39536530 YesMainly for >>39536594
>>39536530>[ ] [YES]Shit I missed the tweet earlier, nice to see you again so soon.
>>39536530I wonder if there are any dungeons nearby or something, I'd love a chance to pick up another upgrade before heading to Leanbox
>difficult monsters on the waySomeone activated the Extra Enemies or the Super Enemies plan. Fortunately, those monsters are passive, so all we need to do is not run into them.
>>39536530>[ ] [YES]I have to wonder if Ein has many friends or not.
>>39536938Imagine it. Instead of being forced to go beardless, you were forced to be chuuni.
>>39537001Well, Ein can talk normally, but Urist will never grow a beard.I wonder if Ein represents just Final Fantasy, and not both FF and its awkward "brother", Kingdom Hearts.
>>39536008>>39536530>[X] [OMG YES WHY IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION]>[X] [BOOZE!]Lots of people in this world (and probably others, too) set a lot of stock in how many contacts they've got in their stupid little technomagical talky-blocks. While you sure as hell don't care that much about social bragging rights, you're not gonna say no to adding more names to your list of emergency contacts.Still doesn't stop you from grumbling a little even as you flip your partially-charged phone back open. So what's this all about, all of a sudden? The last time you met was the first time you met, and you're not one for leaving good first impressions."Destiny requires that we walk down parallel paths," Ein replies blandly- well, as blandly as you can get while hemorrhaging flowery bullshit from one's mouth. "If the weight of eternity grows too heavy for one alone to bear on her shoulders, then the choice to keep our pride and savor our freedom, or sacrifice pride to bind us in debt..."She uses this dramatic pause to flip open her own phone. "... will no doubt arise."In other words, you're both heading for Leanbox anyway, so why not be on the safe side, huh. You really can't help but feel that it's also got something to do with Estelle or something- maybe she's gotta keep an eye on her former big sis- but if it means you can call up a possible ally who's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko, you're totally fine with that.Numbers exchanged, you give a parting nod to Ein (she nods back, cool as ice, before looking back down at her phone) before marching over and leaning an elbow against the counter.(Cont.)
>>39537582... Rush tilts her sunglasses down and studies you for a moment. You KNOW you look sort of ridiculous, especially since you're short enough that 'leaning an elbow' requires you to stand awkwardly with your elbow at around eye level, but you're sure as hell not changing your pose for something like that. 'Sides, giving her your money for alcohol is enough to stop her from making any smartass digs at your height.Making your way back to the table reveals that your party's current status remains pretty much unchanged: Estelle's still planting her chin against the table and tilting her head back and forth, looking as pleased with herself as the cat that escaped the butcher's knife, while Rokko still isn't making eye contact, although that's because she's concentrating on her journal.Well, at least she's no longer scowling or emitting an aura of annoyed mildly homicidal intent, so that makes it easier to plunk down all your drinks on the table. The weight of your your own half-finished barrel of swamp muck booze and the E-Tank for Rokko are enough to shake the table and jolt your big sis back into lucidity; the sugary fruity cocktail drink with an umbrella that follows is enough to make Estelle's eyes light up.Drink up, girls. Your treat."Whoa! As expected of Urist!" Estelle almost /squeals/, lips clamping down around the swirly straw and... okay, she sips FIRST, THEN blows bubbles in it. She resurfaces after a moment, wide-eyed and wondering. "How'd you know? Legendary dwarven instinct about alcohol preferences?"You most certainly don't look back over at where Ein is delicately sipping from her own sugary fruity cocktail drink with an umbrella in it, with every sign of enjoyment. Ein, who'd look remarkably like a palette swap of Estelle if she wasn't wearing that stupid outfit.... yeah, you snort, hopping back into the free chair and taking your own barrel in one hand. Legendary dwarven instinct. Something like that.(Cont.)
>>39537315. . .There are a lot of games based on Disney characters.I am not imaging a Disney-based Merchant Prince in Lowee who keeps Ein's and hers clone, Kingdom Hearts around as something like a Court Jester.And she's hoarding and slowly injecting Sharicite into herself, monologing about "The Power of Inifinity in my veins!" and absorbing LucasArts in some dark ritual.In fact, you know, that would be an interesting plot for a Hyperdimension game that heavily featured Western-made games.
>>39537609"I knew it! Thanks! Ah, next round's on me, though," Estelle adds, apparently belatedly remembering her pride as a big sis. Huh. Must be REALLY out of it if that's the last thing that pops to her mind.Rokko's staring at her E-Tank in something approaching mild wonder. "T-They. Had an E-Tank, here?" she stammers, vocal chords glitchy to the point that they obscure most shows of emotion.Seems so. Rush had one just for an occasion like this, just in case you swung by the area again.The robot's eyes snap up to meet yours. "But. I-It's been, years. T-The price alone-"You snort, cutting her off. Just keep in mind that it's TWO barrels of booze she owes you now, you grumble. Or it would be, if Rush hadn't cut the price. Rokko's head swivels as she looks to the counter, where the Battletoad's polishing mugs; Rush glances up, her lips twitch into something approximating a smile (or at least a cessation of frowning), and she nods before getting back to work.Privately, you're not that surprised- Rokko was apparently one hell of a workaholic adventurer back in the day, so she ranged pretty damn far. And even now... well, seems that people're still waiting for her return.As before, Rokko's cheeks color a little, and she stares down at the E-Tank, her face as blank as always. Unlike the last time, at least, she isn't scandalized out of her mind, but instead, she murmurs something under her breath, although it's muffled by her drink and her vocal chords.... well, you'll take that as a thanks. (Cont.)
>>39537659So the three of you spend a few minutes drinking in companionable silence- which is sorta unusual, given how energetic Estelle usually is.What's weirder is that she keeps glancing over in your direction, like she's either expecting you to say something, or... or SHE wants to say something instead.Given how much ELSE you've got to deal with first, though...[ ] [WAIT] for Estelle to broach whatever she's got on her mind, on her own. You're a little curious what she's building up to say.[ ] [OFFER] to deal with Estelle's glitch- or try to, at any rate. You're basically sitting inside an inn, and she's got a little alcohol in her; this is probably the best time.[ ] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?[ ] [ROKKO] Ask about her... ah, her family. You're not sure you want to get ambushed by that psychotic street fighter again. Or by a panicky monster hunting catgirl, for that matter.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
I was bored and someone mentioned power levels are based on shares and copies sold. So I looked it up. It... did not have the results I totally expected.MarioPokemonWii (Sports and otherwise)If you see a doll-like lady with no features or a Mii it will probably kick your ass.Individual games is Tetris, Wii Sports, GTA5, then super mario bros. in fourth.
>>39537682>[X] [ESTELLE] Sigh, look at Estelle with a tired look, and tell her she might as well say it.
>>39537682[ ] [WAIT] for Estelle to broach whatever she's got on her mind, on her own. You're a little curious what she's building up to say.[ ] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?Also, i still really wanna chat up Souls. She a real homegirl. And shovelknight probly aint no slouch either
>>39537682>[ ] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?>[ ] [OFFER] to deal with Estelle's glitch- or try to, at any rate. You're basically sitting inside an inn, and she's got a little alcohol in her; this is probably the best time.Not that she has a choice, we're going to be nosy about this until we're done with it, but let's talk to them a bit first, if they aren't going to go with us HAH then we should fix Estelle now before we split.
>>39537682[ ] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?
>>39537682>[x] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?
>>39536782Belatedly, thanks!>>39537639>>39537315Sadly, tie-in games that feature stuff that ain't solely vidya in origin probably won't appear in this quest; that has the potential to clutter things up. And it'd also do really weird things to the theme.Put another way, no force on earth can make me turn, say, Madden or Goku into moe personifications!
>>39537682>[ ] [CHAT] them up first. Honestly, you're wondering what their plans are now that this dungeon run's complete. ARE they coming with you to Leanbox?
>>39537912Can we meet Bonk someday pls <3Kawaii cave girls best girls
>>39537912What about the Payday Clowns?
>>39537912Is kingdom hearts really a traditional tie in game though? It pulls likenesses from all sorts of other media, sure, but its gameplay is unique, the titles are well made, and the story focuses first and foremost on original characters in the franchise.
>>39537740>TetrisThere are monsters representing it.
>>39537979Even if it weren't, it's still basically final fantasy.
>>39537912Which is a good thing. Things are crazy enough without it. Just bring in whatever you feel like bringing in, and don't let us pressure you too much.After all, you need to feel you have a good enough grip to pull in a well-developed character to run, in addition to the craziness you already have open.We're just kind of going off the rails on the other things that could exist in this type of setting then what we'll run into in game.Because the whole setting is really open to weird stuff, especially when you consider games from outside Japan.Like the Warcraft franchise? Just one day decides to do something completely different and suddenly becomes an unstoppable juggernaut and no one understands how she did it.
>>39537950Maybe! Given Bonk's origins, though, that... might not lead to the happiest ending for her.>>39537969Tie-in/cameo masks are probably out!>>39537979That's a good question, but I'm still leaning towards no, though, since taking out the Disney and FF aspects of it would still gut huge swathes of lore and... pretty severely limit what KH could do in Gamindustri. It'd be a little sad.>>39538077Thanks, anon!
>>39538115>That's a good question, but I'm still leaning towards no, though, since taking out the Disney and FF aspects of it would still gut huge swathes of lore and... pretty severely limit what KH could do in Gamindustri. It'd be a little sad.Could always fold it in as a subportion or character trait of Ein, given all the FF aspects.
>>39538115Wait, what do you mean about sad endings?Didnt they just add a bonk game to the wii virtual console? The titles have been all over the place, even though they started on the Turbografx. Even the ps2 and gamecube
>>39538115Deus Ex-chan when?
>>39538258She'll be drinking heavily with Dante-chan at a bar somewhere down the road, im sure
>>39538173Entirely possible, although it won't be all that noticeable!>>39538236Well, Bonk was basically the mascot for PC Engine/Turbografx, her demolished home country exists only in history books nowadays, and she's jumped ship to one of the nations that helped destroy it.'Course, I could be totally wrong and she's a happy camper nonetheless, but still, it's something to consider!>>39538258>pic related
>>39537682>[Chat]>[Write-in] DEAL WITH THE GLITCH ANYWAY
>>39538291The thing about bonk was, it was never a particularly faithful mascot in the first place, and was sort of jumping around on other consoles long before the turbografx had even completely petered out. Which, i think, fits a cavegirl pretty perfectly. Who cares where you live, so long as theres food and booze?
>>39537682[x] Other-[x] Try Mewing again--[x] Mew?
>>39537682>[X] [CHAT]It's Rokko who first breaks the contemplative silence. "S-So. Is it, normal p-procedure to y-yell statements of fact during, battle?" she deadpans, tilting her head in your direction. She's got that E-Tank cradled to her chest either 'cause it's just that good or because those green booblights haven't disappeared yet. You're not suicidal enough to ask."Oh! Yeah, I was meaning to ask about that, too!" Estelle pipes up, her pensive expression evaporating like rain clouds making way for the sun. "I mean, they're not really legendarily martial battle cries that'll strike fear in the hearts of your enemies or anything, but they've... uh, got their own unique style?"You frown, putting down your barrel and wiping the swamp muck from your lip. The hell're they on about, now?"A-Activating recording: 'TERRIFIC!'"You jump in your seat when Rokko plays your own growly voice back at you, albeit static-laden and a trifle indistinct, given the sounds of battle going on in the background. "I am compelled to continue! I am compelled to continue! Death... is truly horrify-"It's cut off with a titanic-sounding /WHUMP/ of a large monstrous body hitting the floor and truncating your voice in a pained squeak. Reflexively, you wince."Playback complete. T-That was when, the Guard Vermin's corpse fell on you," Rokko adds helpfully in the face of your stare of utter disbelief.... yes, Rokko, you gathered as much. Thanks. And you... you really don't remember saying all THAT. You take another swig from your barrel before thunking it back down onto the table. Guess the heat of battle does some strange, strange things to you. Armok knows you've got so many more weird issues lying in wait-(Cont.)
>>39538591Hell onNot in the BarWhat are you thinkingDestroying all the Booze
>>39538732"Rokko," Estelle growls. She plants her hands against the table and leans forward, her eyes seeming to burn with an intensity that'd be painful if they really WERE burning (you have experience). "You can record video and audio, and you /didn't/ record Urist's adorable speech back when we entered the caverns!?"The Blue Bomber turns and meets Estelle's gaze with the calm composure of something that doesn't need to worry about blinking. Then, she deadpans "Activating r-recording," and then a voice sweet and cutesy enough to slather all over pancakes starts blaring out of Rokko's speakers and oh no OH NO /OH ARMOK DAMMIT/-"Ah!!! Estelle!!! Rokko!!! Look!!! Stagalamamites!!!! Actual stagamalalamites!!! They're big spiky rocks that look like trees except I can't cut them down for lumber and piss off all the elves who come to trade me their crappy cloth and useless knickknacks-"As incandescent embarrassed rage floods through your veins and straight into your burning cheeks, you vault clear onto the table and grab Rokko's E-Tank, trying to tug it away from the /goddamn traitor/! Is that how she repays your peace offering? You're totally revoking drinking privileges!"D-Denied," Rokko fires back, perhaps a trifle smugly. Her grip on the E-Tank is as sure as steel, despite your best efforts- she doesn't even have to /strain/. "Now, we are e-even."(Cont.)
>>39538750'Even' your /ass/, you snarl, doing your level best to pitch your voice as far away from that syrupy /thing/ you'd heard over the speakers. Hell, you'll only even if you reached over and honked those goddamn booblights-"Agreed!" Estelle fires off, slamming her hands against the table again. "I approve of this course of action!"Rokko's eyes flick back and forth between the two of you, the smugness draining right out of her. "Unfair. T-There are no heroes, left in man," she deadpans, scooting her chair back slightly.No, you fire back, cracking your knuckles. No heroes.The Dragon Warrior carefully drains the last of her drink before standing up and waggling her fingers. "There's just us.">Urist Twelfthbay and Estelle's combination attack!ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)Taking the best of three!DC: 16 (+1 Estelle bonus)
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>39538768Here we go
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>39538768Open fire
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>>>39538768>"Ah!!! Estelle!!! Rokko!!! Look!!! Stagalamamites!!!! Actual stagamalalamites!!! They're big spiky rocks that look like trees except I can't cut them down for lumber and piss off all the elves who come to trade me their crappy cloth and useless knickknacks-"Absolutely terribleRoll for honking
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>395387681 get
>>39538779WE'VE BEEN REVERSE HONKEDESTELLE IS A TRAITOR BEYOND IMAGINE
>>39538779>>39538777>>39538781>>39538789What devilry is this? Triple posting?
>>39538779>basically set up a dumb joke roll to segue into the next segment>1WELP
>>39538779Oh sweet Armok. She's going to use as as a shield against Estelle, isn't she?Bad touch, big sis! Bad touch!
>>39538857I just realized I bet we're making Ein legendarily jealous with all the fun going on with Estelle.
So.On a scale of 1 to peaches, how fucked are we?
>>39538779It was a trap, Estelle and Rokko are bullies that love targeting dwarves
>>39538894>Rokko ends up straddling Urist inappropriatelyWe haven't gotten THAT far in the relationship.
>>39538905>On a scale of 1 to peaches
>>39538915We somehow end up grabbing souls tit?
>>39538894Japanese schoolgirl in R'lyeh fucked.
>>39538915i'm laughing so hard right now.
>>39538915We need an adult!
>>39538955Estelle is an adult!
>>39538912We did get her an E-Tank, for what it's worth>>39538915>special editionrip Uristyou will be missed
>>39538915Rokko doesn't even have booblights anymore does she/.
>>39538996yeah she's just hiding them with the E-tank.
Just as long as Rokko gets the better end of it I'm happy.
Hey wasn't there a Urist art request in Decu's last drawthread?Did that get done?
Dammit rokko this was supposed to be cute. We will one day have our revenge. roll.exe outfit upgrade WHEN, blorp?
>>39539056Yes it did. I should know. It was mine after all.
>Estelle and Urist reach for Rokko's boobs>End up grabbing each others
>>39539093That's cute shit
>>39539093>dem boobsIs Urist invading Red's territory now?
>>39539182It's Rokko's armor, thus shaped for her boobs.
vaguely related, at least Urist didn't summon a giant feathered tick for a FB. Like my fort is dealing with now.
>>39538857So. Uh. Is Blorp dead?
>>39539674No more than usual I think, he usually slows down some as it gets late
>>39539674a 1 and three 5's?pretty sure we broke whatever general script he plansjust writers block probablythis surprising often in his quest's
>>39538768>1It was just supposed to be a playful (for a given value of 'playful,' given this dumb fanservice-oriented universe) tussle. Just a little jabbing and fencing and jockeying over a round of drinks, followed by a return to actually /sane/ conversation. Armok knows you aren't THAT pissed over someone recording your voice. Even if hearing your own voice was /really REALLY/ embarrassing, Rokko didn't blare the recording of your little breakdown through the whole bar, but kept it quiet.You have no fucking idea how everything went so wrong, so quickly.You'll look back upon this event weeks from now, and you will have no fucking idea how everything went so wrong, so quickly.You'll look back on this whole situation years from now, sitting on your fortress's porch with Estelle and Rokko and whoever other old-timers'll be hanging around, and you will all have no fucking idea how everything went so wrong, so quickly.Centuries from now, you're sure that historians will pore through all known firsthand accounts, comb through the conjectures and analyses of even older philosophers lamenting the end of all civilization as they know it, and the combined brainpower of all those learned chroniclers will still have no fucking idea how everything went so wrong, so quickly.Hundreds of thousands of years from now, alien lifeforms will land on the dead, ruined planet once known as Gamindustri, and they will unearth ancient artifacts; with no frame of reference from which to draw from, these ultra-advanced alien beings will be unable to decipher our comparatively primitive lifestyles, and the cultural mores of your fellow Gamindustri-lings will forever be a mystery to the aliens- except for this event, as your embarrassment transcended into a universal constant.But even then, the aliens who effortlessly unlocked the secrets of sciences beyond imagining will look upon this goddamn tableau and have no fucking idea how everything went so wrong, so quickly.(Cont.)
>>39539860As far as you can tell, when you and Estelle lunged for Rokko, there was this ungodly flurry of limbs and parries- you vaguely recall seeing your big sis's jab get intercepted by the robot's arm cannon, and you know for a fact that she'd used the E-Tank to block your approach. So you splayed yourself /against/ the E-Tank to try and reach around it, except Estelle had the exact same idea and slid /her/ hand under you, and Rokko also tried to block you with her free hand-By all rights, it shouldn't have happened, but Gamindustri physics turn a blind eye toward big-fucking-weapon-wielding teenage girls hurtling through the air like cannonballs, so it'll CERTAINLY turn an equally blind eye toward two hands, coming in from opposite ends and sliding underneath a dwarf's iron breastplate fast enough that it's like that damn magic trick with the tablecloth and all the silverware on top, in reverse.Except MOST magic tricks don't involve your goddamn /tits/.In this godsforsaken universe of Gamindustri, anyone else in your situation would probably gasp or moan or stammer something insipid like "i-iyaaan, senpai so bold." You... you're getting squished, at the speed of light, by one hand that's clammy and another that's like a slab of warm iron./Every goddamn head/ in the bar swivels toward your table when your angry, confused shriek pierces the air like some tiny tiger running her claws across a blackboard, and it's also enough stop your party members mid-tussle. Which is great! Just great. You'll dig a hole and never step out of it, not with the way you're starting to sweat under the sheer embarrassment of existence, and now Estelle's staring at you, her jaw dropping as she realizes what's up, and Rokko's got that hilarious scandalized red-faced expression she had when she realized you'd caught a picture of her getting puff-puff'd by your big sis, and neither of them are removing their fucking hands THAT MEANS YOU ESTELLE.(Cont.)
>>39539875"Y... you're not flat?" Estelle squeaks, her eyes wide as saucers as she turns to Rokko. "She's not totally flat!"Why is this a question!?, you snarl, squirming ineffectively. In what fucking way does that matt- HOLY /SHIT/ ROKKO THAT HAD BETTER BE AN INVOLUNTARY MUSCLE SPASM AND NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT WAS."C-Calculating estimated, bust size," the Blue Bomber mutters, her eyes flashing with some sort of inner light as the world's finest combat-tested computerized brain devotes itself to contemplating dwarven boobs. "Approximately s-"Your enraged scream drowns out her deadpan statement. What it DOES do is attract even more unwanted attention in the form of... a tremulous voice that nonetheless carries over your own. "S-Stop right there!"Somehow, without you realizing it, that silver-haired girl- Tekken, was it?- crossed the bar and is now looming over the three of you. She cuts a pretty intimidating figure; now that you're up close, you can't help but figure that she's a fistfighter, whatever her personality may be. Sure, she's quivering and not at her most confident, but it's... something about the way she holds herself, tense and coiled like a spring just /waiting/ to unleash horrible amounts of violence on anything that moves. On top of that, she's got some pretty badass sunglasses on her, obscuring her eyes and whatever emotion you'd glean from staring into them, giving her the impersonal aura you'd see on a professional bouncer.(Cont.)
>>39539891Frankly, she'd cut a /much/ more intimidating figure if she wasn't wearing a painfully pink otaku shirt dedicated to some idol named 'Lori,' and if she wasn't holding an equally pink stuffed rabbit on one arm.The silence stretches on for a few more moments before the idol next to Tekken- Ai, you think?- stage-whispers into her ear. "C'mon, keep going!" she hisses excitedly. "'I'll punish... etc etc', remember?"Tekken whimpers a little, sounding more like a small puppy than a violent face-smasher. "B-But it's Rokko! I'm not punishing /her/!" she hisses back."Then punish one of the other two!" Ai insists, shaking Tekken by the shoulder. "Look, you need to fight /someone/, right? And not just mindless dungeon monsters, either-""... T-Tekken," Rokko narrows her eyes. "Query. What. Is this?""Oh! Um. Hi, Rokko." The silver-haired girl flashes Blue Bomber a small, tentative smile- then she lowers her voice. Too bad it's high enough that it carries easily. "I'm... I'm trying to remake my image," she confesses. "You know. Rough-and-tumble brawler with a heart of gold. A-And, um..."Her face reddens somewhat as she flicks her eyes at the three of you. "Saving her counts as having a heart of gold, right?""That's the spirit!" Ai cheers, clapping her hands excitedly. "We'll take this whole debased situation and forge a sheer m@sterpiece from it!"(Cont.)
>>39539942"Personally, I don't care," Rush growls from over toward the counter. You can't see her right now, but from the way her voice's muffled, she's got her head in her hands. "Just so long as you either get a room, you three, or you all go fight it off outside."At the word 'fight,' a mildly excited giggle escapes from Tekken's closed mouth.... Armok save you from this horrible, horrible universe.[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] This was all a misunderstanding, for the love of Armok. You're not watching everything devolve into fisticuffs over stupid fanservice shenanigans.[ ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.[ ] [FUCKING REALLY?] ... fucking- no. You're NOT a maiden in distress. You'll prove it to Tekken, right goddamn now, by fighting HER.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39539942I'm going to pretend that's what Ai looks like, and no one can convince me otherwise.
>>39539959>[ ] [FUCKING REALLY?] ... fucking- no. You're NOT a maiden in distress. You'll prove it to Tekken, right goddamn now, by fighting HER.
>>39539959>[X ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.BAD TOUCH ESTELLE, BAD TOUCH!
>>39539959>[ ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.GOddammit blorp my fucking sides.
>>39539959All of this is too much for me, I'm dying.>[ ] [FUCKING REALLY?] ... fucking- no. You're NOT a maiden in distress. You'll prove it to Tekken, right goddamn now, by fighting HER.And making everyone forget about what just happened, plus I kinda wanted to do this before, wrestler vs. brawler and all
>>39539959>[FUCKING REALLY?] ... fucking- no. You're NOT a maiden in distress. You'll prove it to Tekken, right goddamn now, by fighting HER.WE MUST RECLAIM OUR HONOUR
>>39539959>>39539970Wait forgotMore fucking BoozeLots more
>>39539959>[HAM IT UP]>[WRITE-IN]"Alright you three can fight while I butcher this guard Vermin and Forgotten Beast."
>>39539959>[ ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.Damn it Rokko finish that goddamn sentence
>>39539959>[ ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.We haven't got Estelle back for HER taking pictures of us being moe. Also for reminding Rokko she had it all fucking RECORDED.
>>39539959>[X] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.But that's. . . a /forbidden/ love!
>>39539959>[ ] [WRITE-IN]Comment on Tekken's shimapan.
>>39539959I can't stop imaging Urist just being held up in the air by Estelle and Rokko's hands
>>39539959>[E-TANK] Rokko doesn't need that. Not after what she did, anyway. Might as well "appropriate" it.
>>39539959[ ] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/.We need to escalate this more.
>>39539959>[X] [WRITE-IN] "If this is what you collect Little Sisters for, Estelle, I don't know if I can be a part of this anymore."
>>39540012>played re:birth 1>used tekken whenever she was available as much as physically possible>highest leveled character in my game>use her to murder everything in sight>sometimes use her as party leader>never noticed eternal goddamn shimapan flashingFUCKING HELL
>>39539959> [ ] [FUCKING REALLY?] ... fucking- no. You're NOT a maiden in distress. You'll prove it to Tekken, right goddamn now, by fighting HER.But if we can still be a ham, great.
>>39540051Blorp....Tekken is a good choice and you should awesome otherwise though
>>39540051Blorp come on.
>>39539942>[X] [HAM IT UP] Yes. Yes, that's right. You're a fair maiden who needs saving. Now save you from the clutches of these assholes who won't move their /hands/. We don't have boobs that are big enough to justify the reactions they had......Did we?
>>39540075We are a dorf
>Ham it up winningWell it's not like Estelle will lose or anything.Plus if we act mad we can con her into letting us fix her glitch
>>39540075They thought she was flat anon, the fact that she has anything was a huge shock
>>39540051>not unlocking her swimsuitBlorp...
>>39540075She has more than Blanc at least.Blanc or White Heart?I know WH gets a small upgrade in that department
>>39540067>>39540071I THOUGHT IT WAS PART OF HER JEANSDON'T JUDGE ME>>39540075I'm not gonna lie, anon, I rather like the look of >>39539093Although I can certainly verify >>39540127>>39540114AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME TO UNLOCK COSTUMES
>>39540135>Urist has a chestDoes she got the hips though?Is she a shortstack?
>>39540135THATS A FUCKING LIE YOU SLACKERTHERES ALWAYS TIME TO UNLOCK NEW STUFF
>>39540135Yay! We have boobies
>>39540150Too animu for proper shortstacks.
>>39540087That's super devious and I love it.
>>39540135Tonight the cheeks are red,Fingers Blue and binding.No sign of "Playing Doctor"But the dwarf's wailing whining,Tell us they've been found.I can almost hear the hounds.What kind of man builds a machine to feel a girl?Estelle, she used her hands.Like a smart man, she used a tool.But just the same,How can you question who's to blame?What was her name?Doesn't matter.Now listen..."Playing Doctor" has to pay!
>>39540162Not a proper shortstack, but a sorta one then.
>>39540135>AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME TO UNLOCK COSTUMESWhat's even the point of playing Neptunia if you aren't going to get all the costumes?
>>39540160And dont we fucking hate it i bet.
>>39540203The game play
This might be a good reference for future threads.And yes, you are reading right. Red has Compa's breast size while being more or less as tall as Urist.>>39540203And the weapons and every plan.
>>39540225A bit taller, Urist is shorter than Blanc so she should be shorter than Red too. I've been putting her a few centimeters shorter than Blanc so like 140 141cm or so.
>>39540225...Blorp, give us Urist's stats please.
>>39540225>tfw you forget there's be a boob size chart for everything>tfw you shouldn't be surprised they'd do an official onetfw NIS will never reappear in any Neptunia game ever because, as companies, NIS and IF/Compile may never get along ever again
>>39540225>>39540238Might be even short depending on what DF dwarves are like. I know D&D dwarves are like four feet or so, but I don't know about Dorffort.
>>39540277S-she can show up in the quest at least.We can compare her JUSTICE and our dwarf justice
>>39539942And now Tekken has been taken over my Im@s, was Berserk not enough?
We aren't fighting Tekken then?I was hoping we could have leveled up our Wrestler if we had, well if she's not going anywhere for a while we can ask for a spar or something
>>39539959>[X] [HAM IT UP]Okay. See. Under most circumstances, you'd have a sworn duty to move yourself /as far away/ from the whole defenseless-little-girl image as you possibly can. You don't even care that you're falling straight into another goddamn cliche or gap moe or whatever the fuck that counts as, but the day you can't fight your own battles- the day you'd WILLINGLY let someone fight in your place or shield you from a reality that will never get as bad as skelephant stampedes or marine invertebrates- is the day you physically and mentally succumb to the invasion of anime hijinks and start prancing around in a school uniform with stars in your eyes. (So basically, like Gnomoria.)This is not most circumstances. Most circumstances don't involve getting squeezed like a goddamn accordion. THIS situation, if nothing else, calls for drastic measures, even if it'll kill you a little inside.So for the first time in who knows how long, you unclench your battered vocal chords and let your voice snap back up to its usual range."Please," you hear yourself whimpering, in that insipid high-pitched weebly-wobbly voice that you hate so much. Hate even /more/, now that you realize that basically rasping your vocal chords with sandpaper hasn't changed it any. "Save me. I am so scared. I am being bad-touched. It is forbidden. Urist Twelfthbay cancels task: interrupted by evil perverts. Hic. Sob. Waaah," you state matter-of-factly, even as you reach up and mock-wipe your tears.Your acting wouldn't fool any three year old kid. Hell, ANY three year old kid could do a better job than you, and you're 100% certain they wouldn't outright SAY "hic" or "sob" or "waaah." But if it's sure to fool anyone, it's going to fool-"U-Urist!!" Estelle wails, clutching your hand and squeezing it reassuringly, looking down at you with big limpid puppy-dog eyes. "Don't worry! Big sis is here for you! I won't let ANYONE hurt you!!" she soothes.(Cont.)
>>39540495... wow. Okay. That's heart-warming and all, and it's hella worrisome just how much she's into this whole big sis/little sis thing, but it'd be about fifty times more convincing if she just MOVED her goddamn HAND-There's a brief moment of unpleasant friction as Tekken grabs you by your collar and swiftly places you aside, fast enough that your reflexive yelp happens AFTER you're back on your feet. Before you can even move, the idol girl's kneeling in front of you, patting the dust from your shoulders and smoothing out your hair. "Don't worry, little girl," she murmurs, every inch of her radiating compassion and concern as she watches you with eyes shining with nothing but warmth. "Tekken will sort them out, and once they've undergone a bout against the Iron Fist, their souls will be pure and contrite once more!"You don't even think to object to any of that as you stare at Ai Masushima, living saint; for a long vertigo-inducing moment, you absolutely convinced that SHE'S convinced about what she said. Did- did she get hit on the head or something? Seriously?Ai's serious demeanor washes away immediately. "Non non non," she tsks, waggling a finger in front of your nose (and you graciously do not remove her finger from her hand). "It's not called getting hit on the head. It's called acting!"... right. Speaking of which, you turn back to the confrontation in progress."I-I'll put an end to your degenerate ways!" Energized by the prospect of battle, Tekken's voice is /booming/- she's even straightened up, pointing an accusing finger at your party members. "Because goodness is the sort of thing I stand for! And not, uh, demons and cyborgs and people coming back from the dead and really nasty elbow checks-""Focus, Tekken!" Ai calls out, cupping her hands over her mouth. "Stay on script!"(Cont.)
>>39540495>Urist Twelfthbay cancels task: interrupted by evil perverts. Hic. Sob. WaaahI will add this to dwarf fortress somehow
>>39540517"You know," Estelle mutters, climbing unsteadily to her feet. For a moment, you're afraid that she's- well, going to have another /moment/. But that lasts as long as it takes for the Dragon Warrior's head to snap up, her expression fairly blazing with excitement. She flips her pink scarf back over her shoulder, and it suddenly starts flapping in the breeze as well, looking a lot more jaggedy-edged and ragged. "I've always wanted to try my hand at being a villain! Come on, Rokko! Thy destiny awaits!" she shouts, crossing her arms over her chest. "If thou joins me, half of Urist shall be thine! And half shall be mine!"You can't help but notice that back in the corner of the bar, the cloaked figure of Ein- already sitting with her hands cradling her face- sinks even lower into her chair, and the soft 'thud' of her forehead hitting the table goes unheard over the din."A-Affirmative." Rokko also takes a moment to straighten up, arcs of electricity coursing over her joints every now and then- but her glowing eyes are as lively as they've ever been as she joins Estelle in a crossed-arm pose (albeit for more practical reasons. How the hell long do those booblights /last/?). Her long blonde ponytail unfurls and flutters as well, snapping like the tail of some restless dragon. "W-We will crush Tekken. As the ones who w-will keep Urist's measurement's safe, w-we are in control."The two NES-era veterans share another fistbump before following Tekken right on out of the bar.[ ] [BATTLE] Follow Estelle, Rokko, and Tekken outside the bar. You're not missing THIS fight for anything.[ ] [EIN] Go talk to Ein. Because really, if there's any perfect time to slip out without Estelle noticing...[ ] [IM@S] ... okay, seriously? For what reason is this all taking place?[ ] [COUNTER] Go sit with the medieval-looking knights (and Rush) for some peace and quiet. Surely they won't judge you.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39540539>[ ] [BATTLE] Follow Estelle, Rokko, and Tekken outside the bar. You're not missing THIS fight for anything.We need to see who wins our tits after all.How badly off track have we gotten this session Blorp?
>>39540539>[ ] [BATTLE] Follow Estelle, Rokko, and Tekken outside the bar. You're not missing THIS fight for anything.>Get Rush to set a betting ring, put money down on Estelle and RokkoWe can pick up a few things from Tekken
>>39540539>[x] [COUNTER] Go sit with the medieval-looking knights (and Rush) for some peace and quiet. Surely they won't judge you.>[x] [BOOZE]
>>39540539>[X] [BATTLE] Follow Estelle, Rokko, and Tekken outside the bar. You're not missing THIS fight for anything.This is going to be epic.Plus, we can't trust knights not to treat us like a damsel after that last thing, so, you know. . .Can't start another fight until this one is done.Plus, we have to cheer for Tekken and distract Big Sis as needed. I mean, if they win after this face-heel turn we're fucked.Probably literally.
>>39540539>[X] [COUNTER] Go sit with the medieval-looking knights (and Rush) for some peace and quiet. Surely they won't judge you.
>>39540495>So for the first time in who knows how long, you unclench your battered vocal chords and let your voice snap back up to its usual range.>"Please," you hear yourself whimpering, in that insipid high-pitched weebly-wobbly voice that you hate so much. Hate even /more/, now that you realize that basically rasping your vocal chords with sandpaper hasn't changed it any. "Save me. I am so scared. I am being bad-touched. It is forbidden. Urist Twelfthbay cancels task: interrupted by evil perverts. Hic. Sob. Waaah," you state matter-of-factly, even as you reach up and mock-wipe your tears.
>>39540539>[X] [IM@S] ... okay, seriously? For what reason is this all taking place?
>>39540558if you'd told me at 9 pm tonight that i would be writing about a dorf getting groped, i would have COMPLETELY BELIEVED YOU BECAUSE THE ROLLS IN THIS QUEST, GODDAMN
OKAY WOW JESUS CHRIST it's almost 4 am here and I have to be up in a few hours, so I'd better end the thread here (also because there's no way i can keep on writing at this pace without sacrificing coherency and characterization more than i have already).Next thread will be on SATURDAY, 4/25, at around 9-ish pm EST, with any luck! As usual, schedule changes will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go either here or ask.fm/account/questionsThanks for participating, you guys, and hope to see you next time AND DEAL WITH THE HORRENDOUS CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYTHING
>>39540705Just admit it, we're too peachy for you.
>>39540705Thanks for the thread Blorp and thank you dice for all the !!FUN!! even if it is the stupid kind
OH RIGHT before i forgetI try not to explain the joke, but the whole thing behind the picture in >>39539942 (and I forgot to rename the image) is that that's Tekken's producer. No joke.>>39540181>What kind of man builds a machine to feel a girl?I scrolled back up and FUCKING LOST IT YOU DELIGHTFUL CRETIN>>39540276>...Blorp, give us Urist's stats please.what have i done
>>39540705>AND DEAL WITH THE HORRENDOUS CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYTHINGOh no, not horrendous consequences!I hope we still have time to fix up Estelle actually.
>>39540539>[ ] [EIN] Go talk to Ein. Because really, if there's any perfect time to slip out without Estelle noticing...
>>39540772>what have i done
>>39540705Posted the wrong ask link Blorphttp://ask.fm/blorpquest
>>39540835oh right. didn't realize i'd been logged out. Thanks anon!
>>39540774>fix upAnd feel up. Both her and Rokko owe us a legendary grope.