>Archive links:http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20QuestTwitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuestYou are Urist Twelfthbay. You're a dwarf, which is a good way to sum up "short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry," and you're the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. In Gamindustri, though, you're not allowed to be anything but an adorable little girl; beards or muscles are out of the question.While this means you get carded a lot, it sure as hell doesn't stop you from getting to your alcohol. You've learned to roll with it, because hard-won experience taught you that tantruming and thrashing the bartender doesn't get you your alcohol any faster. Neither does wrecking the furniture and/or anyone patronizing the bar.... well, okay, so it got you SOME alcohol in the very short run, but it wasn't worth the trouble in the long run and- look. Look. The point is, you've learned enough to LEGALLY get alcohol, even if it meant submitting to a physical examination and getting a card proving that you physically require alcohol to stay reasonably sane.Anyway, you and your little adventuring group are currently in the bowels of the mountain range that splits Gamindustri's main continent into thirds. It's the less-traveled road, but it's the fastest route to the island nation of Leanbox, where you've got a friend or two waiting for you to arrive. By unhappy coincidence, it's also the place responsible for outcast-ing the assholes who've tried to murder you.(Cont.)
>>39269846Come to think of it, you DID send a text to Maia earlier, asking her if she knows anything about said outcasts, Keeper and Myrra. She hasn't responded yet. You also called Mojang to see how she was doing. The call was spontaneously disconnected by the goddamn creepiest telephone operator who told you to fuck off because Big Sister is watching.Maybe you should be more worried about all this strange bullshit going on in Leanbox.On the other hand, you're being one proactive motherfucker. Take that red rock sitting in your inventory, for example. The one used by Keeper to summon her minions, and then herself, right on top of your head. You crushed the everloving hell out of it! With your feet! Between that and Rokko vaporizing Keeper, that crazy bitch won't be bothering you guys again for a while. (Unless Keeper's got a base set up down here or something, in which case you're pretty much fucked.)And on the other OTHER hand, you're stepping up and helping Estelle deal with the giant festering glitch sitting smack-dab in the middle of her soul, which came about because she cheated an Inn into existence to heal you all back up to full. That's the plan, anyway. You haven't the faintest fucking idea where to start, and you're sort of scared that you'll accidentally unravel her very being. Or turn her into a Forgotten Beast or something.So for once, you do what any rational person would do: you alert her first. You try to be gruff and no-nonsense about it, as any dwarf should be, but... seriously, there's only so much you can do when you're cluing her in on the glitch, admitting that you peeked in on her coding using a combination of utilities unique to yourself, and asking her permission to muck around in hopes of curing her. Maybe. Hopefully.(Cont.)
>>39269870You all stop walking, and Estelle crouches down so that she's level with you. "Urist," she begins cheerfully. "I really, really appreciate that you're looking out for me. I really do! But it's probably better manners to ask before, um, peering into someone like that. Probably."... probably?Estelle makes a face. "I actually don't know if it's good manners or not! I mean, it's not really common for adventurers to have that kinda ability. Right, Rokko?" she asks, peering up at the robot standing over the both of you."A-Affirmative." Rokko's eyes seem to glow even more in the dim lighting of the... lightless underground caves. Gamindustri physics are nothing if not considerate to adventurers. You wait for a moment, but the Blue Bomber says nothing more, holding her peace as she watches you two talk."And you said this glitch is gonna grow into something bigger soon, huh..." Estelle turns this over in her mind for a few moments- and then she pats you on the shoulders, coming to a decision. "Thanks, Urist, but this's something I've gotta take care of on my own. I've dealt with a lot of glitches before, even big ol' legendary ones. I can overcome this one! I mean, the most it'll do is knock me out for a few days! At most."... honestly, you're not sure if you'll be able to SPARE a few days. You're not sure what'll happen once you get to Leanbox.[ ] [INSIST] Try to persuade Estelle to let you take a shot at un-glitching her, with her guidance. You can't afford to lose Estelle even temporarily.[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.[ ] [ACCEPT] Accept Estelle's choice; make no plans to ask her about it again. Your big sis can take care of this glitch.[ ] [ROKKO] Ask for Rokko's opinion on the matter. She doesn't have something else on her mind, does she?[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39269885>[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.If she complains swallow your damn pride and say little sisters are supposed to worry
>>39269885>[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.But if it starts to look really bad, we will act to help. Permission or not. I'll take a angry big sis over a dead one!
>>39269885>[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.Dwarves can learn manners too, but it's not like we can reasonably fuck around with it now.
>>39269885>[ ] [INSIST] Try to persuade Estelle to let you take a shot at un-glitching her, with her guidance. You can't afford to lose Estelle even temporarily.A goodnight vote.
>>39269885>>39270030>[ ] [ROKKO] Ask for Rokko's opinion on the matter. She doesn't have something else on her mind, does she?Actually, this too, I want to hear what Rokko thinks about it, what if it happened to her and we could do simmering about it?
>>39269885> for nowHaha, time for adorable dorfs
>>39269885>[x] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.Remind me where we picked up the red rock, keyword search in the archive is a bother.
>>39270097We've had it from the start, Urist has had since before the quest started
>>39269885> [ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.
>>39270338Actually, add Rokko to this vote. Well ask her opinion before moving on to going with Estelle for now. Maybe we should practice on some insignificant creatures first, if possible.
>>39269885>[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.Also I've always wondered about Gamindustri; where does PC gaming fit into all this rampant consolefaggotry? Are their personifications some sort of a patrician class in leanbox? Will they recognize urist as one of their own?Or will there soon be a plot for the Steam Legion at the direction of the great prophet Gaben to forever shake the political landscape?
>>39270183I thought we grabbed it when keeper attacked us for the first time.
>>39270377Can we diagnose ourselves?Actually we haven't fucked around with DFHack/BugTracker in a while, we should fix a few of our own bugs for practice.
>>39270415Nah, we've had it since the beginning, remember it was what was freaking out Moru
>>39269885>[ ] [FOR NOW] Accept Estelle's choice. Tell her you can always ask her again later, when it's more obvious what the glitch is.>>39270417This is a good idea.>>39270403I think the PC is off on a higher plane of existence.PC games in Gamindustri are shadows cast by their true selves in the light of the PC realm.
>>39270417It's been working in the background automatically.
>>39269885>[X] [FOR NOW]You scowl (even though this only makes Estelle's grin wider). A part of you really wants to push the issue, but you owe her a lot. Sure, she personifies everything that mildly annoys you about Gamindustri- she's far too peppy and cheerful, and she's always Little Sister-ing you- but she's stuck by you so far. That in and of itself deserves some respect, even from a lousy conversationalist like you.A cynical part of you snarks that she's only stuck by you out of some misplaced drive to accumulate little sisters or loneliness or standard tragic backstory, but- no, the Dragon Warrior has her pick of adorable little sister types. Gamindustri is LOUSY with little sister types, and you're the only one that persistently smells like mud and alcoholism and dead things.You can't bring yourself to meet her green sparkly eyes as you grumble out a reply. Fine, you'll back off for now. But only for now, got it? You're only gonna wait 'til the glitch has reared its piss-ugly head so that you can come to Estelle with a better diagnosis and a plan of attack, so she'd better NNGMPH.(Cont.)
>>39270648There's no warning at all, absolutely none, before she's squishing your cheeks. You barely hear Estelle's dirty-old-man chortle over the sound of your blood pressure rising. "Ahahaha, I'm sorry! I can't- I just can't resist! You're adorable when you're pouty and gruff! C'mon, Rokko, back me up here!""A-Affirmative," Rokko's voice grates out. You look up just in time to see her nodding sagely, absolutely expressionle- no, that's definitely a twinkle in her eye. An AMUSED twinkle.Nnnghk- traitor! Traitor!! And you're trying to be serious here, NOT adorable! You wrench Estelle's hands away from your face and take a few light swings- of course, she dodges easily, chortling all the way. Goddamn legendary heroes and their legendary stats-"C'mon! Time's-a-wasting!" she calls out, double-timing it down the tunnel, even as you chase her and Rokko. You swear to Armok that you're going to find some motherfucking MUD and smear it all over your FACE and HAIR, maybe scuff up your armor a little! Or wear some goddamn rotten XXleather robesXX! /Anything/ to stop people from defiling the sanctity of your cheeks--!>Urist Twelfthbay and her friends comb the underground realm for treasure!ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)Taking the best TWO of THREE!First roll: Encounter roll! Higher is better (i.e. less "interesting.")Second roll: DC: 14 for useful loot, the higher the better!
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>39270665
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>39270665treasure!
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>39270665
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>39270665
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>39270665Wealth beyond measure outlander!
>>39270724Well a 1 is interesting also.
>>39270697Oh, hey, a ____!
>>39270697I guess we're going with Super Interesting.Didn't we just technically do super interesting
>>39270697At least you tried.
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d20)>>39270697HE DIDNT ROLL A 2D20 >>39270665 you see only double rolls no one!!
Rolled 16, 13 = 29 (2d20)>>39270665
>>39270814 sweet better then my shitty rolls>>39270779and way better then his shitty rolls>>39270697
>>39270697Any chance we can take this for encounter, and the 14 for loot? Seems most fun that way.Or !!!FUN!!! rather>>39270779He asked for 1d20
>>39270779Sorry man, rolls were 1d20!Also, going to go with->Encounter: 14>Loot: 1Unless you guys REALLY want it to be the other way around, I'M GAME FOR THAT ALSO.
>>39270779Nah its legit Blorp asked for ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field) in >>39270665
>>39270847Yeah for Encounter 1 Its !!FUN!!
>>39270847Depends, is it worse than Momuz?
>>39270847I guess we're done with bad encounters for today, I'd really rather not run into Keeper again or something
>>39270847>Loot: 1Sounds like one of those rare enemies that steals your shit or eats your gold and runs off.
>>39270847Other way sounds more !!FUN!!
>>39270847Encounter:1Loot: 14More interesting to find the most repulsive looking loot to be so useful. Like a beat-up and super decayed crossbow that fires multiplying cats.
>>39270847sure encounter 1.10 and 11 most of been bland.20 and 1 would be interesting. Always go interesting.
>>39270847I'm game for some FUN
>>39270847Yeah switch. We must have ¤!!FUN!!¤ at least once a thread.
>>39270847give us the 1 in encounters, might even get more loot from it. DONT YOU DARE PUT A 1 FOR LOOT WE HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH WITHOUT A NEW SHINY ARMOR UPGRADE!!!!!
>>39270913I just don't want long term trauma. Again.Oh well at least it won't be our fault probably.
>>39270867>>39270912>>39270918>>39270919>>39270925>>39270941>>39270946>>39270845Okay, look's like we're doing Encounter: 1 and Loot: 14!HERE WE GOOOO
>>39270997GOOD TO GODORF FORT
>>39270997Someone is going to die. Calling it now.
>>39271107It will be in a !FUN!! way thoughBlorp awesome at insane scenes
>>39271107Well as long as it isn't anyone in OUR party.
>>39271140>Well as long as it isn't anyone in OUR party.We walk in on Vert and Blanc being overwhelmed and slaughtered by Sharicite-empowered Myrra, Keeper and XCom-tan?
>>39271107Don't worry, it'll probably be Urist.
>>39270403>Also I've always wondered about Gamindustri; where does PC gaming fit into all this rampant consolefaggotry? Are their personifications some sort of a patrician class in leanbox?There's no mention of any PC franchise in canon Neptunia games.
>>39270997We do love our loot....Too bad it's minimal loot. Any chance we can get better loot, due to our selecting the hellish encounter?
>>39271213That's entirely possible! I think that might be up to the dice. And how the battle goes, honestly.
>>39271213might be one piece of rare loot and shit all else
>>39271213WE LOVE OUR LOOTWE LOVE OUR UPGRADESBUT MOST OF ALLWE LOVE OUR BOOZE!
>>39271231What if we create another Forgotten Beast on a 20, and it backs us up.
>>39271247do we want to in sight of the last time we made a FB
>>39271247Wouldn't that be nice.We should also wish for a stockpile of adamantine wafers too
Just for quick reference, Momuz the Forgotten Beast is completely unrelated to Momus the Overlord, right?
>>39271309Yes, Momuz is actually from a Dwarf Fortress game.
>>39271309Completely unrelated! It's just an unfortunate coincidence in naming conventions, what with Dwarf Fortress's random generator and all.
>>39271332At least it wasn't Simo Veiledsins
>>39271343What, the Finnish Sniper Carp?
>>39271399Nah. He's a FB made from coal with deadly cloud of fumes and a breath attack.
>>39271440Oh, that doesn't sound that hard.
>>39271456...uhm. You can't set it on fire, as it will just burn forever, the death cloud kinda kills anything close to it and its breath attack is the same as its death cloud.
>>39271506draw bridge atomizer
>>39271520A particularly deep ditch.
>>39271506Not in roomcarnage :D its a special sort of FUN. The constantly reanimating dead kind.
>>39271544Trapdoor, unescapable room.
>>39271567Well the guy doing the play through was keeping all the dead and FBs down in a cavern. Simo can fly though
>>39270665>Encounter: 1!>Loot: 14!... y'know, you're REALLY happy to be back underground. You really are. This whole experience, however, really brings back home just how screwed up Gamindustri is, especially when compared to the underground realms you're used to.For one thing, despite choosing an array of random turns and hallways, you can safely say that you don't recognize the hell out of this place. There's all the signs of previous habitation that're just lying around. Every now and then, you'll end up walking along a half-buried metal walkway, or you'll find artificial lights sticking up out of the rock, listing at crazy angles /and are still active/. Hell, you can swear that the further down you go, the more ridiculous bullshit starts cropping up- more lights, more walkways, higher ceilings, and all that jazz. And then there are the crystal outcroppings that are too perfect to be anything but manufactured- big old shiny thingamabobs that look like they belong in jewelry stores or old JRPGs.If you didn't already know that this is what passes for "natural geological formations" in Gamindustri, then you'd be fifty times more paranoid than you already are- oh.Oh, great. Somehow, when you weren't watching, Estelle's got her big gilded sword and adorable dogoo-patterned shield out and ready. You only noticed because you suddenly can't hear her footsteps anymore, and THAT'S because she's /stalking/. Even Rokko's gone silent- moreso than usual- and when you glance back over her shoulder, she's even turned down the lighting in her eyes, somehow.You do your best to follow suit, even though stealth is far from your strongest point. At least it's easy to stay low to the ground. But still... you quietly clear your throat and speak up in a low whisper. That bad, huh?(Cont.)
>>39271688"We're in a dungeon," Estelle murmurs back. She's not much one for stealth, either- a pink scarf and sky-blue armor aren't exactly conducive to anything but a head-on assault- but she's nothing if not experienced enough to know how to stay under the radar. "Which is weird! I mean, there shouldn't be anything this far down, not unless we're talking, like, legendarily ancient."... come to think of it, you HAD passed through some tunnels that looked like they were recently cracked open. They weren't much more than jagged tears in the walls."M-Monsters." Rokko's static-laden voice is a low buzz, barely on the edge of your hearing. She's got her own arm cannon at the ready, her blonde ponytail cascading across her shoulders as she glances around. "And. Geological, a-activity. Gamindustri is, n-nothing if not old."Hn. Stands to reason. It's all too common to pop into sealed-in caverns and the occasional ruin when YOU'RE digging around beneath the ground. But it's not like you'll pop into any big horrible monsters in a dungeon that hasn't seen the light of day in... what, years? Decades? Centuries?Rokko's shrug is not reassuring. But anyway, if there IS a boss monster, it'll be keyed to pull up something from one of you guys' histories. Shouldn't be a probl-And that's about when the ceiling explodes, showering you all in rock chunks and making you shriek in a manly and COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE manner. While you're flailing your arms like windmills, Estelle and Rokko act immediately- your big sis bats away an especially large stone with her shield, and there's the smell of ozone as the Blue Bomber's trademark staccato energy blasts vaporize the remainder.(Cont.)
>>39271698Something lands in front of you three, heavy enough to shake the earth and large enough that you don't get a good sense of what you're staring at, at least not right away. Mud-grey legs stab into the earth, long and armored like some sick bastard's idea of scythes, and there're enough of them that you have to back up for fear of being stabbed. More eyes than you bother to count adorn the thing's head, complete with drooling fangs (NOT mandibles), and yet there's a fucking humanoid body smack-dab on the top like some sort of centaur! Humanoid, but sure as hell not /human/, the insectoid-looking torso is armored and horned, and-Oh, for Armok's sake! ANOTHER fucking spider!? Does it HAVE to be another goddamn spider!? And as if giant horror spider-centaur wasn't enough, it's got a sword longer than /you/ are. Hell, it's longer than you AND Estelle AND Rokko standing on top of each other's shoulders-"Little sis?"Huh? What is it?"Next time, please don't say stuff similar to 'what's the worst that could happen?', 'kay?"(Cont.)
>>39271725... man. Estelle doesn't even seem mad. She's /grinning/ like a loon and bouncing on her heels."A legendary boss monster in an abandoned dungeon, just waiting for adventurers like us to drop in on it..." The Dragon Warrior finds the time to point dramatically at the spider-centaur from hell. With her sword. "THIS is the stuff that legends are made of!"Or really, really horrible epithets that no one will ever read on account of no one finding our bodies!"N-Not. Planning on, dying today," Rokko cuts in. "A-Another tough battle. So it, goes."The spider-centaur throws its head back and /roars/ loud enough to hurt your ears before charging in, skittering forward on those horrible horrible goddamn motherfucking /legs/ and taking a /huge/ swing at Estelle with that pigsticker-[ ] [CHARGE] It's not focused on you- go in and disable the monster's legs while Estelle keeps its attention and Rokko shoots at it! Or try to, anyway![ ] [SPRAY & PRAY Let Estelle tank the beast- stand back with Rokko and spray crossbow bolts in the general direction of its ugly mug![ ] [CALLED SHOT: LEGS] Aim for its legs! It's got huge joints![ ] [CALLED SHOT: ARM] Aim for its arms! This'll be a harder shot![ ] [SUMMON?] Last time you tried this, you got two cats. You're stronger now. Maybe you'll call in something that can help even the odds-[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39271742>[ ] [CHARGE] It's not focused on you- go in and disable the monster's legs while Estelle keeps its attention and Rokko shoots at it! Or try to, anyway!I wanna break something with my LIQUID METAL HANDS right about now.
>>39271742>[X] [WRITE-IN]MAKE IT REAL!Bit by bit this time, though, wouldn't want it all spiralling out of control like with Momuz.
>>39271742>[x] [SPRAY & PRAY Let Estelle tank the beast- stand back with Rokko and spray crossbow bolts in the general direction of its ugly mug!
>>39271742>[ ] [CALLED SHOT: LEGS] Aim for its legs! It's got huge joints!YOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE JOINTS!RIP AND TEAR YOUR JOINTS!
>>39271742>[ ] [Write-In] LOOK FOR THE OTHER FUCKING ONE
>>39271742>[ ] [CALLED SHOT: LEGS] Aim for its legs! It's got huge joints!
>>39271742>[x] [SPRAY & PRAY Let Estelle tank the beast- stand back with Rokko and spray crossbow bolts in the general direction of its ugly mug!All these megabeasts. We should've brought a spear.
>>39271920Eh, We might well get a huge bronze sword out of this.
>>39271935we need a silver warhammer.>>39271742>[ ] [CALLED SHOT: ARM] Aim for its arms! This'll be a harder shot!
>GUARD VERMINOh boy. Who's the one that's going to be *censored* and *censored*?
>>39271742>[ ] [CALLED SHOT: LEGS] Aim for its legs! It's got huge joints!The less it can move, the easier it is to tank!
>>39271935If we're going to get a melee weapon that isn't our fists I'd rather it be hammer
>>39272012Does that megabeast look like it's carrying a hammer?You'll become a swordsdwarf and by Armok you'll like it.
>[x] [SUMMON?]No way we can get two 1's in one session
Okay, looks like we've got a split between SPRAY & PRAY and CALLED SHOT: LEGS and SUMMON! Going to go in favor of CALLED SHOT due to more crossbow-focused votes, so->Urist Twelfthbay goes for the legs!ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)Taking the best of three!DC: 15, +1 for crossbow, +1 for skill (-1 for Called Shot)!
>>39272032We can't carry that damn thing it's too big for us even in the realm of jrpgs. Of course maybe we could reforge part of it or something.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>39272047
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>39272047for Armok sempai's approval!
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>39272047
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>39272047Open fire
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>39272047boom!
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>39272047
>>39272070>>39272068>>39272065>>39272058Fuck damn it, we need some fate point mechanic.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>39272070mfw
>>39272070Of fucking course it's the fourth roll.
>>39272058>>39272065>>39272068>>39272070No. This is wrong. It is both morally and factually incorrect, as well as contravening the natural order of things.>>39272057We can fit a dragon in our backpack, we'll be fine.
8 seconds. Why couldn't you have posted faster anon.
>>39272070Maybe blorp will count it on account of pity.
>>39272070It's going to be one of those threads, is it?
>>39272057>>39272099hey, dwarves can wield longswords or longbows just fine in DF.>>39272106>pity
>>39272106More like Urist can see her shots ALMOST do a dice 20 worthy damage and weep tears of regret.
>>39272058>>39272065>>39272068>>39272070>>39272106sorry man, but hey, it could have been worseit could have been a DODGE HORRIBLE DEATH roll that the 20 wasn't in time to saveWriting!
>>39272106There is no such things as "pity" in Dwarf Fortress. Only "X gives in pain"
>>39272111This is the fate we chose
>>39272111Every thread is !!FUN!!Every fort is !!FUN!!
>>39272151I'l always remember that one time we punched out that minotaur
>>39272190>we punched out that minotaurwe did?oh yeah.oh wait.oh.oh god.
>>39272190Those were the days. Back when the luck was somewhat balanced and less skewed towards this so called !!Fun!!
>>39272238>not loving !!FUN!!I bet you even TRADE with elves and LISTEN THEIR TREE CUTTING RESTRICTION.
>>39272238>!!Fun!!but dwarf fortress is !!FUN!!
>>39272238we just get better and better manhandling or just surviving said !!FUN!! >>39272281probably doesnt make kitten blood moats either.
>>39272281>I bet you even TRADE with elves and LISTEN THEIR TREE CUTTING RESTRICTION.but, but muh fruits and stuff!so I can get seeds for those other crops, and make alcohol out of every kind possible!elves are just petty but important in the grand scheme of the library of the universal>>39272298>probably doesnt make kitten blood moats either. liquor room I'm making.anon, you could be brewing hundreds of BEER during that time.and time is gold.stop wasting gold.
Well, at least nobody's being *censored*.
>>39271742>>39272047>>39272068If there's one thing you just can't get used to (you know, one thing out of the /trillions of other things/ in Gamindustri), it's how ridiculously acrobatic adventurers can be, even though everyone looks like a high school girl.From what you've seen, Estelle REALLY enjoys keeping her feet planted on the ground and slugging it out in straight-up face-to-face sword fights. Even so, your big sis is no exception to the "fuck gravity" rule.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qheHsjZg9zsEven as you're pulling out your crossbow, the spider-centaur's giant swing hits the ground with enough force to kick up dust- except the Dragon Warrior is suddenly /airborne/, effortlessly clearing the twenty feet mark like she's just taking a trip to the convenience store. Not that it's enough to fool the spider-centaur; his head snaps up, tracking Estelle's movement, and his body twists impossibly as he snaps a leg out to skewer her-- and he's blown right off-course as Rokko, of all people, hurtles forward and joins Estelle in close-range. Even from here, you can see the electricity arcing along the Blue Bomber's body as she pushes herself hard, dashing up one gleaming blade-leg; Rokko's ponytail flows behind her like a banner as she spins and, with a /snap-hiss/, lights up the night with some sort of plasma sword that slices across a leg joint.... shit. Shit! Did she just- she's trusting YOU to provide fucking ranged support!? You snarl as you finally bring around your crossbow, squeezing an eye shut as you sight along its barrel. YOU were the one who blinded Momuz the Forgotten Beast. You've got this, you're not gonna be the fucking failure who let two veterans get eaten 'cause you couldn't get its attention away from-(Cont.)
>>39272506>[X] [CALLED SHOT]>10+1 - Insufficient!The spider-centaur shifts to deal with the new threat, and your crossbow bolt clangs dully off its leg, well above the big exposed joint. There are absolutely no curse words strong enough to adequately express your GODDAMN FUCKING ANGER AT-Estelle squawks as she's sort of swatted out of the sky by a wildly-swinging spider leg, and she lands heavily against- well, okay, against the /wall/, somehow managing to hit it feet-first. And then she's off again, leading in with her shield, her trajectory straight as a missile. While that's happening, Rokko's latched herself onto the monster's back, looking like a tick clinging onto a normal-sized human, and she's grimly slicing away at the chitinous armor even as the spider-centaur wildly swings himself to and fro to shake her off.Goddamn, shooting isn't- it's not /working/! You might hit your friends from here, now that they're all swarming over the monster! And why can't YOU jump around like a goddamn acrobat, anyway??[ ] [GRAPPLE] Go for one of the legs! Try to hold the damn spider-centaur still, long enough for Estelle and Rokko to do some real damage![ ] [UNDERMINE] Dash underneath the spider-centaur and launch a barrage of bolts into its belly. You can't miss at that range, even if you, uh, might get a little squashed or skewered.[ ] [LEAP] Try and channel the bullshit anime physics that you KNOW run through your veins (as much as you hate to admit it). If you're gonna be stuck as a little girl, you might as well /jump/ like one![ ] [SUMMON] Channel your inner abilities! You're stronger now (maybe), so you'll totally bring in something that'll even the odds (hopefully)![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>39272506Oh for fuck's sake.
>>39272525>[X] [SUMMON] Channel your inner abilities! You're stronger now (maybe), so you'll totally bring in something that'll even the odds (hopefully)!I call you, giant sponge!
>>39272525>[ ] [LEAP] Try and channel the bullshit anime physics that you KNOW run through your veins (as much as you hate to admit it). If you're gonna be stuck as a little girl, you might as well /jump/ like one!POINGY
>>39272525>[ ] [UNDERMINE] Dash underneath the spider-centaur and launch a barrage of bolts into its belly. You can't miss at that range, even if you, uh, might get a little squashed or skewered.Dwarves do not jump
>>39272525>[ ] [LEAP] Try and channel the bullshit anime physics that you KNOW run through your veins (as much as you hate to admit it). If you're gonna be stuck as a little girl, you might as well /jump/ like one!
>>39272525>[ ] [UNDERMINE] Dash underneath the spider-centaur and launch a barrage of bolts into its belly. You can't miss at that range, even if you, uh, might get a little squashed or skewered.Shelob that motherfucker.>captcha: jimplI wonder if Earthworm Jim is around.
>>39272525Silver bolts we need you
>>39272525>[SUMMON] Channel your inner abilities! You're stronger now (maybe), so you'll totally bring in something that'll even the odds (hopefully)!this totally can't go wrong.
>>39272525>[ ] [GRAPPLE] Go for one of the legs! Try to hold the damn spider-centaur still, long enough for Estelle and Rokko to do some real damage!W-we didn't want to jump around like that anyway.
>[x] [UNDERMINE] Dash underneath the spider-centaur and launch a barrage of bolts into its belly. You can't miss at that range, even if you, uh, might get a little squashed or skewered.>squashed or skeweredwhat's the good of having a healbot otherwise? And everyone knows a spider's belly is its weak point.
I dont think i would even mind all of the shit rolls weve been getting if this quest was a bit faster, or we had less extreme things riding on single dice rolls with 10%+ chances to crit fail.But these recent threads, its getting a bit frustrating. Dice are dumb and mean and they smell funny.
>>39272639Dice are dwarves?
>>39272525>[X] [UNDERMINE] Dash underneath the spider-centaur and launch a barrage of bolts into its belly. You can't miss at that range, even if you, uh, might get a little squashed or skewered.
>>39272580Don't think of it as jumping. Think of it as... Flinging yourself into battle with righteous fury and a desire to draw blood from your enemy.
>>39272525>[X] [SUMMON]RNG's sure to make this !!FUN!!.
>>39272580>Dwarves do not jumpyes. they dodge.they dodge off into a fucking cliff if they can.that could count as jumping
>>39272525> leapI want to hear Urist make the sound
>>39272653I don't think Urist is the "KHAZAD AI-MENU" kind of dwarves...
We really need minions, a dwarf isn't suppose to be fighting without nine other dwarves at her side. Unless she's like a champion or something, but Urist isn't one so whatever.
>>39272639Well, in every Ogre Civ thread we had atleast one or two crits. Time to repay that karmic debt.
>>39272706>Urist McTwelvthbay enters a martial trance!
Okay, seems like the consensus is to [X] [UNDERMINE]!>Urist Twelfthbay shoots up into the spider-centaur!>Urist Twelfthbay tries not to get squashed!ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)Taking the best TWO of FOUR!Highest roll: DC: 13, +1 crossbow quality, +1 skill2nd highest: DC: 15 to dodge, +1 armor bonus
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>39272750
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>39272750
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>39272750
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>39272750Got this.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>39272750
>>39272771I'll take it
>>39272763>>39272767>>39272770>>39272771Ok, I'm going to bed.See you all next time.
>>39272770YOU SON OF A BITCH! I HAD IT!
>>39272771Well... At least our crossbow works miracles most of the time.
>>39272790Two of four
>>39272771BEST OF FOUR NIGGA WE GOOD..
>>39272790>Highest 2 of 4
>two 20s as 4th rollSay, good QM, mind extending the best out of three to best out of four?
>>39272771So we die a heroic death gutshotting it. Right, I'm okay with that.
Urist can't hit for shit today but she can dodge
>>39272770>>39272771fuck you guys.I'm going to sleep.
>>39272847Other way around, we hit, but then were hit in return
>expand the rolls to include four of 'em>all the crits end up on the fourth roll>why did I choose this pathWRITING!
>>39272865It was inevitable
>>39272847The 20 went to shooting. Dodging failed.Though maybe 20 shooting spares us from dodging anyway...
>>39272865We still got nailed for our efforts, so take your twisted joy in that.
>>39272889We kill it, it collapses on us, dorf pancake
>>39272998this would be the equivalent of pig fiber gloves falling on our heads from a dumping stockpile several z-levels up.
>>39272998Gamindustri monsters go "poof" upon death.
>>39273080If it dies, Urist killed it, and his rules regarding corpses may apply.Maybe he can stuff it mid drop into something tiny, and back pack it.Make everyone else make san checks.
>>39273102>heUrist wishes she can be a manly bearded dwarf. Alas, this is a cruel world Gameindustri is.
>>39273054Nothing else has gone poof so far.
>>39273164Haven't fought actual Gamindustri monsters either. Only giant flies which aren't endemic to Gamindustri and Named Characters, none of which we have actually killed so far.
>>39273200We killed that Dogoo way back in the first thread, that stay corpsy and then we took it's guts.
>>39273200Actually, we have. Dogoos back in thread 1.
>>39273236>>39273245Just remembered that. Welp.Looks like this one just *censored* us.
>>39273236>>39273245Aren't Dogoos Estelle's monsters?
>>39273266They're based on Dragon Quest's Slimes, but Dogoo's are specifically a Neptunia monster
>>39273266Eh, similar to Dragon Quest slimes, but their not the same.
The poofing is a videogame abstraction. Despite everyone literally being videogames, they aren't in one.
I just realized we Giant Enemy Crab'd the damn spider.
>>39272750>>39272525>[X] [UNDERMINE]>Damage: nat 20>Dodge: 10+1... no. No jumping, no vaulting, no stupid pretty anime acrobatics- you're a dwarf, not an elf, and you're not nearly that desperate yet. If you willingly let yourself slide down THAT slope, then you'll wake up one morning screeching "KAWAII" and "ONEECHAN" and "EEEEH??" and then you'll have no choice but to throw yourself under the nearest drawbridge while hemorrhaging sparkles and rose petals from every orifice (and it will be painful).Because you've had it up to here with being useless and/or actively unhelpful (because Forgotten Beasts), dwarven stubbornness kicks in, and it's basically synonymous with "terrible idea": if you can't fire your goddamn crossbow and hit something the size of a barn at /range/, then you'll get up /close/ enough that you can't possibly miss.Dashing forward is the easy part- the spider-centaur looms even HIGHER over you, but the bastard's not even paying attention to you. Up above, Estelle barrels into its shoulder with the business end of her shield, hard enough to stagger the beast, and then she's sinking her sword in right down to the hilt, proving that it's as legendary as she says it is. Rokko's own efforts are starting to pay off; bits of charred, cauterized chitin rain down onto the floor, and there's the distinct smell of burning meat as she continues carving.You finally make it directly underneath the insectoid monster (fucking hell, are you seriously short enough that you don't have to duck?), though you're in no position to see how that all plays out- it's not all going Estelle and Rokko's way, judging by the growls and the cut-off yells. But that's all beyond you right now, 'cause you've got one hell of a target to fuck up.Sky's the limit, and you're about to hit that limit's goddamn weak point.(Cont.)
>>39273597 The barrel of your crossbow points straight up, and with a properly dwarfy shriek, you give it everything you've got, firing bolt after bolt after bolt into the spider-centaur's chitinous underside. To your mild surprise, it actually works- like, the bolts actually /puncture/ the armor and keep on going, disappearing up its innards and drenching you with ichor.From your vantage point? The spider-centaur's legs grow unsteady and you don't hear so much as /feel/ the monster's gurgling howls of pain. Estelle and Rokko are probably taking advantage of this, but that's none of your business- you're busy firing and reloading, firing and reloading, firing and reloading, which goes on until you realize that the damn thing is teetering /right the fuck on over GODDAMMIT/-Once you can actually see and think PAST the overwhelming pain, you can't- you can't actually see your lower half for all that chitin. But hey, on the plus side, at least you can feel it getting crushed, AND you didn't get sliced by any of those legs when the spider-centaur collapsed right on top of you! See, you're trying to be positive! All that happened was that it probably broke your fucking legs, and that's probably why Estelle and Rokko are staring at you for one long timeless moment.As if that wasn't enough, there's something small, sharp and pointy digging into your back. It is VERY annoying.But hey, you're beyond caring. You grab your crossbow and you keep on firing at any part of the spider-centaur you can /see/, screaming in fury and pain and then pleasant surprise when you nail it in the humanoid torso's chest, shoulders, and head. Just to be sure, though, you keep on shooting, sending crossbow bolts into the spidery bits too-(Cont.)
>>39273608Crossbows don't have barrels..?
>>39273608"U-Urist! Hold, on!"The shock of hearing Rokko actually use /exclamation marks/ is enough to get you to stop firing, and that's all the opening she needs to lever the spider-centaur's corpse off your body. Yeah, that feels a LOT better. Holy shit does that ever feel better. Now the pain's just sharp and prickly and overwhelming instead of all crushy and shit."D-Delirious." The Blue Bomber goes down on one knee, pulling off your helmet- goddammit, she's even MORE dented now, almost like she'd never been repaired in the first place. "No, surprise. You did, g-good. We g-got you now." She looks up at Estelle's approach- at least big sis didn't come out of this fight as badly as the last one, eh? Isn't that great?She doesn't smile back, instead just charging her magic up. Damn. "C'mon, Urist, stay with me. Where's it hurt?"'s that a trick question? Could really go for a drink.Rokko's reaching for your flask already. "A-Alcohol?"You weakly push her hand away, as much as it hurts you to reject that sorta offer. You're real thirsty. Maybe some water or somethin'...The Blue Bomber stares at you like you've grown a second head. "T-This is. S-Serious. Estelle-""On it." Big sis's hands lay on your body, cool and tingly. "Fullheal!"You're about to ask if she has to set your bones and shit first before healing, but that's about when the magic kicks in and knits it all back together by /force/. You nearly bite through your lip, but at least you only let out a whimper- still enough to get Rokko to grab for your hand, and you squeeze back hard enough that you SWEAR you feel metal deforming in your grip."Okay. Looks like we're past the worst, but we ought to get going. If there're more of them anywhere here-" Estelle makes to bodily pick you up, but you sit up on your own, stubbornly wiping away your tears. You're not THAT bad off. You can walk, thanks to her ridiculously convenient healing-(Cont.)
>>39273623Don't forget the corpse! We can [b]utcher that shit later.And the loot as well.
>>39273623Only THEN does the Dragon Warrior allow herself to grin again, ruffling your hair- it's clearly open season, now that Rokko's taken off your helmet. "Thank the goddesses," she sighs, relaxing marginally. "What you did this fight would've made a /legendary/ tombstone, but I'm not letting you go THAT easily, Urist!"Hey, c'mon- you slip out from Estelle's grasping hands and straighten your braids; Rokko silently hands you back your helmet, which you accept gratefully. Didn't Estelle just say that there might be MORE of those spider-centaurs around? You all gotta get a move-on, right-You're interrupted as something clinks against the floor; turning around, you see a weird shiny thing on the ground. Probably that sharp thing that was digging into your back when you got sandwiched. Naturally, you pick it up, even though you have no idea what it's for.Okay, NOW it's time to go."So much for that treasure," Estelle says, sidling toward you like you don't see it coming- oh, fine. You let her drape her arms over your shoulders like she's some sort of bearskin cloak, but keep on walking anyway, half-dragging your big sis along. "Maybe we'll find something on the way out?"Rokko falls in beside you two. Thankfully, she doesn't join in this time. That'd probably re-ruin your legs. "U-Unless. That rock, Urist just picked up counts."Hell if you know what it is. It's probably nothing useful, but you're not leaving this goddamn place empty-handed, right? C'mon, let's get going. You gotta get to Leanbox.>Urist Twelfthbay picked up Gamindustri Graveyard Key Fragment![TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]
>>39273622>Crossbows don't have barrels..?
>>39273654>Gamindustri Graveyard Key Fragment!Oh geez>[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]It's over!Thanks for the thread Blorp, it was !!FUN!!
>>39273654I feel like this is leading to some PC goddess in the graveyardI really hope it's all leading up to that
>>39273654So, we don't get to butcher the corpse and steal its' weapon?
>>39273654What are they keys, I assume they're a Neptunia thing
>>39273693Might not have time to butcher and I'm not sure what our limits on inventory are. But we really should nab that sword.
>>39273685It's not going to be the PC goddess.It'll be the iOS goddess.
>wanting a shitty copper swordAt least wait for a nice steel sword if anything.I'm convinced we rolled terrible because we didn't wrestle enough today though.
>>39273732Oh its copper? Eech nevermind.
Okay, as it's getting fairly ridiculously late and I have to be up in less than a handful of hours, I'm gonna have to end the thread here!Next thread will be... sort of problematic, actually, since it turns out I'll be hosting family here and I'm pretty sure that'll severely limit my ability to sit at a laptop, with all the lights on, until 1-2 am, going CLACKETYCLACKETYCLACKETY at my keyboard.If I can't do anything earlier, then the next thread will most likely be 4/20 or 4/21, with two or three threads following after!... and then after THAT, my schedule'll be fucked up again for pretty much the entirety of May, possibly barring weekend mornings. It'll be touch-and-go like it was in February-ish, sorry!In any case, thanks for participating! Hope you guys enjoyed it, and I'll be posting updates to scheduling at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest.Between now and then, though, I'll be writing up that Mojang POV bonus scene again. Until next time!
>>39273732>>39273747It's huge, anon.We can at least use the raw materials to work on our forging skill.
>>39273693>>39273700I'll work in LOOTING next time!
>>39273752No problem Blorp, stuff happens.See you next time, whenever that may be.
>>39273732What I don't get is we already have kickass gauntlets made from Liquid Metal slimes. Why people want to nab a weapon of inferior quality confuses me.
>>39273698>What are the keysExactly that. Gather the fragments and you'll unlock that place.The Graveyard itself is where what's obsolete goes to die. Entire generations now lie there. Some say you can even find corpses of Goddesses and ruins of forgotten nations, like Odyssey, Intellivision and the like. Atari, for some reason, is conspicuously absent...If Gamindustry wasn't an alternate universe and respected IRL video game history, Neptune and her sister's corpses would be there.It's not a nice place.
>>39273788Do you even adventure mode? Every weapon in your bottomless backpack is a good [t]hrow candidate.
>>39273752Thanks for running man! Hope you have a nice time with your family!
>>39273788Firstly, we have no indication of how good it actually is, it could be an enchanted blade made of divine bronze for all we know.Secondly, everything should be looted if possible.
>>39273788We'll also have to start from scratch at that skill, honestly wrestling is best when you have two companions that are great at swording and shooting.
>>39273759thats not how dwarven forging worksi n dwarf fortress. Unless it has metal bits to loot its only good for crafting leather armors and shell armors.>>39273788because we only have simple steel armor not masterwork or artifact, also gauntlets need a fuckin hammer made of slade to accompany them in crushing things good. oh and >>39273804made a valid point we can just throw anything we have extra is.>>39273788
>>39273798It's also where Urist was born, I wonder if we can find her old abandoned fortress if we stop by
>>39273829>swordingHAMMERACCEPT NO ALTERNATIVE>inb4 b but FBCROOSBOWS
>>39273854Why would she have abandoned her fortress? I don't know much about Dwarf Fortress, but I'd imagine they would just wing it if they settled in hostile lands, such as the Gamindustri Graveyard.
>>39273894She wouldn't have had a proper fortress yet, not when she lacks all those upgrades we need.I was actually talking about that hole in the ground she lived in that we saw in Mojang's flashback/side-story.
Can Moru activate the Frenzy?Can she infect Rokko with it?
>>39272580>Dwarves do not jumpI want this to come up at some point, like Estelle trying to get us to jump for some reason. Maybe we could even get lessons from Jump-and-Shootman herself.Not that it would work. Jumping's not even a skill!