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  • File :1236585010.jpg-(81 KB, 504x400, Grendel 3.jpg)
    81 KB The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:50 No.3921415  


    Okay, so Grendel and crew, after giving their report on the awesome shit they pulled off last time, got some downtime, bot to go do their real jobs, and basically not have to worry about excessive proabilities for dieing for a few months. Nice boring life for everyone, and a decent amount of money for working. Sounds great. But then our Inquisitor calls us in, and tells us 'Oh wait, that awesomely non-fatal lifestyle you were just living? kiss that shit goodbye, you are going to a warzone on a hive world rumoured to have a severe amount of cultists on it, and have to try and resque an Inquisitor who may have gone insane and might attempt to kill you rather than come with you. Okay, have fun.'

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:50 No.3921416
    Okay, so we head out to Cantus, now mostly home to potential cultists, PDF and IG forces and a shit-ton of Orks. And MAYBE the guy we are looking for. So we get a transport, and fly out, making some passes through the atmosphere (the Orks as of yet have not gotten ahold of any aircraft, so high altitude flight is mostly safe) Huh. Our pilot actually picks up the Inquistor's distress signal. This might not be so bad after all. Except the beacon is in the middle of an abandoned hive city that the Ork Warboss has made his home. Fun. So we land well behind the battle lines, and arrange a meeting with the nearest Commissar, a Commissar Russ, and present our identitification and explain our purpose here, and then ask if he or anyone else can give us some maps or potential locations of Ork forces within the city so we can try and be sneaky. We also made sure to be unfailingly polite and NEVER interrupt him, because our GM has a hardon for the parts of Commissar fluff portraying them as being psychopathic murderers that make the army work solely out of fear. Thankfully, we get some maps, and after a bunch of discussion and thought, establish a route that should hopefully get us to the beacon without having to fight anything more than small groups of orks, to thusly avoid being made the target of a WAAAAUUGH and thusly die.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:51 No.3921418
    So, we commandeer a flatbed truck, and are about to set off when two things happen:
    1: Dakka suggests we 'Orkify' the truck to hopefully get past a patrol or two, which the party wholeheartedly supports, and I get to work on, and
    2: A small group of Sisters of Battle approach us (three) and inform us that their Legatine (or whatever the sergeant equivalent for SOB is) got orders from the ordo hereticus (the one our inquisitor belongs to) to give us some support, and these were the volunteers. One sister in particular stands out, since it matches exactly the fake sister cultist I had rolled up to present to the GM as a cultist of Khorne that tries to get close to Grendel, either to kill him or protect him from all non-Khorne-caused deaths.
    I smile maniacly, and thankfully the other players think I am smiling at npc helpers. Which I am, sort of.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:51 No.3921419
    So Nihilius is, for pretty much the first time, not an arrogant dismissive snob, as he lost a finger and got a vicious scar on his arm as a result of previously being snide to a SOB, and so presents a respectful exterior to prevent further damge. He does become even more malicious to Able, to such an extent that even Garm, someone who grew up on Dusk, thinks he is being a bit extreme. He causes a level of fatigue and five wounds of damage to Able, who all through the beatings is sobbing about how this is all a wretched mutant like him deserves, and he only calms down and heals himself after Grendel assures him of how capable he is and helpful to the party, and he heals and removes his fatigue, right as rain again....mostly. Except he rolls Psychic phenomena at the end, and gets Memory Worm. Our GM rules that Able actually forgets he got phenomena, and I(Cromwell) falcon punch Nihilius when he is about to berate him for it, so that Able actually gets to believe he just performed a chain of powers without incident, and is genuinly happy for the first time as an Acolyte. Inez d'awwws, and messes his hair while congratualting him, and he beams.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:52 No.3921422
    Happy moment over, we pile into the now Orkified Flatbed (spikes nailed on everywhere, painted red, with barbed wire everwhere) and Grendel and the Cultist (named Benedicta) end up in the back together with most everyone. To pass the time to the city, Benedicta asks us to regal the sisters with tales of the accomplishments of members of the inquisition(us). Grendel starts to talk, but Dakka and Hak both interrupt him and fight over who gets to tell them about all the shit they have seen Grendel do. the two maybe real sisters are most impressed, and murmer prayer of thanks to the God Emperor for so blessing one of his children to do his will. Benedicta smiles and talks about how powerful he must feel, having felled so many powerful foes in battle, to which Grendel reluctantly agrees, making her smile all the wider.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:53 No.3921426
    We arrive at the city, and immediately a real ork vehicle pulls up alongside us, and shouts out a challenge to a race, since they believe that their red truck is faster. Rather than responding, Dakka (the driver) guns it, and the orks take this in stride and we start to race to the city versus a truckload of orks. Nihilius finds this to be most unseemly of a noble, and tosses an entire belt of grenades into the ork truck, and commands Dakka to ram them after they go off. The grenades go boom, the orks LAUGH and Dakka does a drive check to ram them, and rolls a 2. The ork truck veers and starts flipping, and by the time it has flipped all it will, it is mostly pieces. They got an orky death, at least. Okay, so we actually get in the city now, and have to ditch the truck, so it is time for sneaky stuff. We are doing good, and several hours pass very uneventfully, until we get about three blocks from where the beacon is coming from. It is at that point an awareness test reveals something very strange: A symbol of Tzeentch on a steel wall with a giant X gouged through it by some mammoth weapon and a symbol for gork and mork crudely carved in next to it. Able gets weirded out, and rolls psyniscience. Guess what, clear indication that bad shit went down right in the direction we are heading.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:53 No.3921428
    We get to the beacon, and there is no inquisitor left. But then the enitre building with the markings EXPLODES, and a giant ork in Mega Armor (presumadely the warboss) is thrown out of the building, and nobs and orks aplenty boil out to follow him. Now what the hell could have done that? Out of the smoky rubble, an (Grendel rolls forbidden lore daemons and passes) UNBOUND DAEMONHOST floats out, clearly engorged with biomantic powers (fuckhuge muscles, metal-like skin, etc. enough so it could cold clock a WARBOSS). But wait, that's not all, down a sidestreet boil some bloodletters and cultists (presumably of Khorne), heading into this clusterfuck. We decide to back the fuck away, as this shit looks ridiculous. the two sisters charge the daemonhost, warboss, orks, bloodletters and cultists, like good little zealots, and are EATEN by the daemonhost who now looks over our way. WONDERFUL. SCOOBY DOO, DO YOUR THING. We run like little bitches, which surprises the crap out of Benedicta, who was expecting some Grendel badassery. FUCK YOU, WE RUN. Besides, pretty much everyone but Grendel and Benedicta failed their fear test in such a manner that makes them want to run.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:54 No.3921430
    So, we flee, and thankfully the warboss finds the daemonhost such a damn good opponent that it bodyslams it and tries to chop it up right and proper. we do not stay to see the end, and somehow we lose Benedicta while run away. And when we round a corner, several of the cultists and two bloodletters round the corner for some HAPPY FUN TIME. Initiative is rolled, Grendel gets a one, the Bloodletters (acting as a duo) get ten. They both charge Grendel. one hits, and grendel makes his dodge. the other hits Grendel in the head with his giant fucking axe, and we all think grendel's story has ended. the daemon rolls two ones for damage, and grendel gets a bloodletter axe in the face without much incident. This is the first time Grendel has ever been wounded by a daemon, and apparently that unlocks his nerdrage as when his turn comes, he announces wh wants to try and kill them both. I guess the player wasn't really feeling like he would live long, so he decided to go for rule of cool. The GM rules he must make a -20 agility test to try, and then must try and hit both with a -20 to weapon skill to each attack. He rolls. 2, 2,1 He rolls damage (GM said roll once, it is the same hit.) rolls a ten, confirms still with the -20 penalty by rolling a 4, and then rolls ten, ten, ten, nine. Grendel just disemboweled two bloodletters in one strike.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:55 No.3921432
    With this event, the tide of battle turns very sharply, and Grendel and co proceed to curbstomp the cultists without major incident, and after thoroughly checking for any other pursuers, hastily grab some loot and retreat to regroup. Even when running away, Grendel decided to bitchslap Khorne. And oh so mysteriously, Benadicta shows up again, covered in gore and blood, with a glowing smile, and after being told of Grendel's feat, embraces him, blessing him for his prowess (thanks made to the emperor are decidedly absent, but most everyone is too busy trying to make Nihilius stop kicking Able for not taking a bullet that, after being dodged, hit Nihilius. He thought it very unseemly for such a noble personage as himself).

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:56 No.3921434
    So, we are celebrating our luck, both with the combat and getting back one of our NPC 'Helpers' and getting some decent loot, and times look good. Oh wait, we only got a block or two away, and not ALL of the orks following the warboss can be engaged with the daemonhost. So right as we are getting ready to retreat a safe distance and wait for the battle to either move, change or maybe call the PDF/IG for some artillery support, a few dozen orks plunge towards us, with three nobs leading the way. This starts looking bad, but wait, The orks are rolled as three groups and roll 1, 1 and a 2 as initiative, and Nihilius AND Benedicta have flamers and training in them, and both open up while everyone else unloads full auto (except grendel, who has a revolver, and misses terribly) By the time the orks get to act, so much devestation has been lain on them that only the three nobs (two on fire) and four 0 wound orks are left. The orks just got out-orked. This is compounded by them now failing tests versus pinning and hiding while WE FUCKING CHARGE THEM. the battle is decidedly one sided (they are still on fire) and is ended by grendel puting a bullet through the skull of the last nob (the one not on fire who had been hit the least) in the second round . We are feeling pretty awesome from tearing our way through so many enemies in such a short time without suffering severe wounds, but wait, all the noise we have made has made even more orks, nobs, and some gretchin and squigs come our way. Retreat sounds good.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:56 No.3921437
    So, we scooby doo ourselves out of there, and get away pretty well since Benedicta has hip shooting and while fleeing puts out some full-auto suppressive fire back at our pursuers alongside Hak and Dakka lobbing back a few firebombs, and enough foes fail the pinning test/get set on fire so as to clog the pathways for them and allow us to escape. So we regroup several blocks away in an abandoned facility, and there are enough rooms that everyone has a place to bunker down/scrounge for stuff to use. Grendel is all set to use some down time to peruse a few tomes on Orks he had gotten from some Xeno-Archivists when they came to scout him (he is still thinking on it) when Benedicta comes into the room. She starts up a conversation, asking how someone who is essentially a librarian found themselves fighting daemons and xenos, that sort of thing. Grendel explains he happened to read a forbidden book by mistake when checking it to see where to catalogue it, and had then turned himself and the book in to a local arbitrator he knew (Inez) who brought his story to the Inquisition, where both eventually got recruited. It certainly beat getting mind-cleansed or purged for knowing it. Benedicta perks up at this, and ask if Grendel can share any knowledge about it. He says it's fine for him to admit knowing it now as a member of the inquisition, and relates that it was documentation of some strange Daemon or Xenos that had terrorized Valhalla for decades before a squad of spacewolfs came, pursued it into the nearby mountains, and the leader of them slew it in single combat.
    (FYI while this stuff is going on most of the rest of the party are getting field treatment from Cromwell or trying to make the location defensible)

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:57 No.3921439
    Benedicta sidles closer, asking if Grendel thinks he might have been able to kill the beast, to which he quickly responds he finds the idea laughable. Benedicta reminds him that he has by all accounts killed things that even space marines can fail to defeat, and did so as nothing more than a man, not some genetically augmented and supremely trained super soldier. He trys to play those events off as simply being the divine emperor's protection, but Benedicta will have none of that, saying victory in battle goes to the stronger and more determined, always and forever. Grendel frowns, questioning this, as did not Benedicta's own sisters fall before Xenos and Daemons? She shrugs, only a hint of melancholy on her face, and wonders what choice would two people have in the face of such foes. She shifts closer still, and leans towards Grendel, and then proceeds to say, and I quote
    "Yes, again and again men have died fighting enemies of the imperium stronger than them, more implacable then them, and only through the strength of numbers and the strength of technology, be it the Navy or that which turns men into Space Marines, does the imperium still stand. And yet you, a lone man, as bereft of power as one could find in the inquistion, you stood against foes stronger, more fierce than you, prehaps more powerful than any servant of the imperium, and did not die. You flourish in the face of that which strikes down others, and always emerge alive and whole, and stronger for it. I question whether you are simply a man, or something more."

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:58 No.3921443
    ...this is pretty stupid.
    You don't really survive long in these games, and now someone is hurting a member of the team before enemies can get to even begin killing you?
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)03:59 No.3921445
    At this, while Grendel fumbles for something to say, Benedicta embraces him, saying that a child born of such blood would truly be a warrior and conqueror by birth, destined to crush his foes, and goes on to say it is her duty, no, her privilige to bear it, if he will serve the Imperium in such a manner (please note the GM specifically avoided having her say the child would serve the imperium, and no one noticed. Awesome roleplay). The GM has Grendel roll to resist seduction, and he rolls a flat 100. Thankfully, the GM skipped going into the act because that could have been creepy. Afterwards, Grendel tries to rationalize what happened, which is made easier by Benedicta simply stating he did his duty. So anyway, with this done, the party regroups, everyone none the wiser to what Grendel and Benedicta just did, and discuss their options. While Benedicta is still advocating wholesale assault of the Orks, the remaining Khornish cultists and the presumadely Tzeentchian Daemonhost, pretty much everyone else vetoes the plan as being a suicide job. But wait, Nihilius actually says something useful! He suggests trying to rig this building to collapse via undermining key parts of the foundation, support beams etc. with both brute force and explosives. After rigging it, he suggests we attempt to lure the opposed forces into the building, exit out one of the other ground floor entrances on the other side and blow the building on top of them, thusly avoiding soiling our hands. We all love the idea, and the GM lets us start setting it up, since both Guardsmen have demolition, we have plenty of grenades, and several firebombs/flamer fuel canisters to turn the ground floor into a flaming deathtrap around or potential pursuers. We all agree that, assuming we pull this off, even if we don't find the inquisitor we will sure as hell have accomplished something.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:00 No.3921449
    So, some time passes, and right about as we finish rigging the place to explode in just the right manner, a slight hitch appears in the plan: The threeway fight is heading our way. Even better: there is no way for us to get to the first floor and leave before they get inside. We are trapped in a building we just set up to explode. After quickly appraising the potential to jump to a nearby building (not happening) or find some rope (none left, we used it all securing the traps) We hit on an idea. We have exactly three frag grenades left, and are on the fourth floor. If we use the grenades to blow a hole through the floor, drop down and then leap out the third floor window, we have a relatively decent chance to survive the fall. We run this by the GM, who rule we must cause at least 30 explosive damage to the floor with said grenades for this to work. We pull the pins on the grenades and drop them in a little circle we made out of rubble to prevent them from rolling around and hightail it to get behind cover, all the while hearing the sounds of fighting growing closer. BOOMBOOMBOOM 24 damage, six short. Hak spends a fatepoint, and his roll of 4 for damage transforms into a 9. 29 damage total. Dakka spends his only point to reroll, and gets a critical, but doesn't confirm. 3 damage has been exceeded, and the floor caves in on the far side of the room with a mighty crash. Assuming this is going to attract unwanted attention fast, we spring up and run over, Grendel getting there first because he is sprinting like a motherfucker. We all jump down, and thanks to the short distance, no one incurs damage. Grendel pops off a few shots with his stub revolver at the window, bursting the glass just before he reaches it, so Grendel explodes out the side of the building amidst a shower of glass, gun in hand, and about eight meters off the ground.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:01 No.3921457
    He proceeds to start rolling agility tests to see how far he counts as having jumped down before starting to fall. HE MAKES ALL EIGHT ROLLS, and is then rolls one final test to avoid damage from the falling glass, which he also makes. Definitely a smooth exit. Everyone else is right behind him, and thankfully no one dies from the fall, but the party is reinjured (especially Cromwell and Able). a quick glance at the building shows that our flashy exit has attracted attention, and a large number of orks and cultists, while still fighting eachother, start charging our way. Dakka presses the button, and suddenly, the entire ground floor (where all of the enemies are) is covered in fire, and mighty explosions begin the collapse of the building. several hundred tons of concrete and metal descend into the swirling inferno where all our potential foes are fighting. We all fail the agility test to remain standing, and are thrown back by the massive gust from the rapidly changing nearby sturcture, now a giant pile of rubble. As we regain our feat, a bit worse for wear, we are still smiling, as this looks like we might have done in our foes. The thought doesn't last very long, as with a screech of grinding gears, a massive slab of concrete is hurled asside as the warboss, battered but still alive, regains his footing, and is looking right at us. We have to roll surprise (things usually don't survive a burning building dropping on them) and all fail. The Warboss pulls out his snazzgun, and unloads on us. Or tries to, but it overheats and he drops it to the ground. Before we can really do anything, two things occur simultaneously: We start hearing distant explosions but see nothing happening, and another slab of debris is pushed aside as the Daemonhost gets back up, still infused with biomantic power, and charges the warboss.

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:03 No.3921462
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:03 No.3921463
    As they continue pummeling each other, refusing to budge from their final fight, we hear high-pitched whistles that swiftly grow louder, and seconds later explosions start blooming all around the city. The PDF/IG forces apparently decided the explosion we set off meant something bad had happened in the city, and decided to capitalize on it by shelling it. The way to the truck (to flee) is right through the warboss/daemon fight , and the rubble from the collapsed building has rendered any other path toward the truck a no go. We could retreat away from the fight, but it would likely double the amount of time it takes to get to the truck, and with the shelling, that could be just as fatal as trying to get past the fight, if not more so. But as we are trying to figure out what to do, Grendel announces he is charging over to pick up the warboss's dropped snazzgun, now cool again, and wants to attempt to discharge it on the ork. As he charges in, we finally here the few aircraft from the PDF/IG foces overhead, dropping more bombs. Everyone else runs after grendel, as anywhere is better than where they are. Grendel has to roll concealment while running to be able to pick up the gun while so close without getting noticed. He succeeds. He fires the Snazzgun, and unfortunately, the hit is in the body, and Mega Armour give 14 AP to the chest. We all think his cool idea is going to fizzle, but wait! He rolls damage, and rolls TWO TENS. He confirms the critical, rolls again and gets a nine and an one. He spends a fate point to reroll the one and gets another ten. he then rolls a nine. that is 10+10+9+10+9= 48 energy damage to the chest. Not only does he kill the warboss by blowing a whole clean through his chest with a beam of energy, he also accidently ignites the ammunition there, which proceeds to explode. The GM rolls the blast radius, as 3m, so while the rest of the party is fine, Grendel has to worry about more damage while at 5 wounds.

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:04 No.3921466
    BUT WAIT, HE MAKES HIS AGILITY ROLL, AND NOTHING HITS HIM. We are all feeling pretty happy for Grendel, when the GM abruptly anounces he is rolling for the Daemonhost to dodge, as he was also in range. The daemonhost fails. He rolls the damage (1D10+5 X) and we all watch as he rolls a ten. After thinking for a bit, he decides that righteous fury, or something similar, should apply here, and has the daemonhost roll to dodge again as the means to see whether it is confirmed. the daemonhost fails the roll. the GM rolls damage again. HE ROLLS ANOTHER TEN. he slams his head down, and scoops up the dice and rolls again. nine. Grendel just killed an Ork Warboss with his own gun in one shot, and killed an Unbound Daemonhost with the ensuing explosion, but came out of it without a scratch.


    And sorry about the slow posts, I made the chunks too big and need to resize them.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:05 No.3921467
    As we all get ready to continue running, the GM says to roll an awareness test. Garm passes, and notices a rosette of the inquisitors on the daemonhosts remains. Well, we found the inquisitor, but no chance of bringing him back now. Garm quickly pockets the rosette as proof, and everyone hightails it, fleeing as fast as they can. Occassionally, a bomb drops nearby, and the party has to roll to avoid shrapnel. A few cuts and scars-to-be later, we are almost at the truck, when a shell strikes a nearby building, and it starts to collapse on the path. Everyone is running as fast as they can, but Benedicta got hit in the leg previously pretty hard, and can't hobble along as fast as everyone else. Seeing, this, Grendel picks her up (succeeding on the strnegth test with a roll of ONE) and sprints along, just getting out from under the building in the nick of time. Benedicta stares up at him with wide eyes and a parted mouth, and the GM tells Grendel that his chivalry counts as a Charm attempt with a modifier of +30. He rolls a 1, seven degrees of success. The GM rolls for Benedicta to resist Seduction, and rolls a 99. In that moment of Gallentry and Badassery, picking up the wounded SoB while fleeing a city being shelled, Grendel made Benedicta fall for him (sex didn't count, that was mostly the job to her before)

    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:06 No.3921473
    The all pile into the truck and tear away, riding into the sunset (which happens to be behind the PDF/IG Camp), tearing off the barbed wire and spikes as they go. When they arrive, they are greeted by a WALL of cheering and joyeus Guardsmen, as apparently some of the aircraft had had cameras on Grendel's moment, and know he killed the warboss and some monstrous daemon. The party, and Grendel in particular, are showered with cheers and thanks, and get to be the heroes of a giant party as the PDF is pretty happy that the Orks got almost completely wiped out (they are still shelling and dropping bombs, since they aren't so stupid as to not try and prevent spores from getting loose). As the pary winds down, Benedicta approaches Grendel while he is away from the rest of the party, and while blushing faintly thanks him for saving her. Grendel stands there awkwardly for a moment, and Benedicta continues, asking him if he sees how he is different from other men, how the middle of a warzone seems to be his place to flourish. He responds that he doesn't honestly know, and she smiles for the first time he has seen, and asks him to simply think about what he could do if he were to embrace his talents. With that, she promptly kisses him (much to Grendel's surprise) and turns around, departing into the crowds with only a single glance back, the smile and the blush still adorning her face.


    PS it fits his character's back story, and our group favors role play a ridiculous amount.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:07 No.3921479
    I...I fucking Love Grendel.
    >> 100% pure epic fucking win Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:07 No.3921480
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    This shit needs to be made canon. It's that fucking awesome.

    is a retard.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:08 No.3921484
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:09 No.3921487
    >documentation of some strange Daemon or Xenos that had terrorized Valhalla for decades before a squad of
    >spacewolfs came, pursued it into the nearby mountains, and the leader of them slew it in single combat.

    >A beast in nordland that terrorized villages, and was slain by a nordic warrior in single combat.

    >Player named Grendel

    >Legend of Grendel.

    I see what was done here, and it is beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:11 No.3921492

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:11 No.3921494
    We WILL see the girl again, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:12 No.3921496

    Shit has been archived.

    Holy fuck, that is awesome background history.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:12 No.3921497
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:14 No.3921504
    GM has confirmed she will return potentially multiple times, as the entire group loves her. And hates Grendel for making her fall for him. And for getting a SoB to ASK him to impregnate her.

    They still do not suspect her true allegiance to Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:22 No.3921530
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    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:23 No.3921539

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:24 No.3921542
    hell, grendel might even end up redeeming her.

    hey, if konrad could do it..
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:24 No.3921545
    By the Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:27 No.3921558
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    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:33 No.3921588

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:34 No.3921589
    >We run like little bitches, which surprises the crap out of Benedicta, who was expecting some Grendel badassery. FUCK YOU, WE RUN.

    I fucking love this part.

    >I guess the player wasn't really feeling like he would live long, so he decided to go for rule of cool. The GM rules he must make a -20 agility test to try,
    >and then must try and hit both with a -20 to weapon skill to each attack. He rolls. 2, 2,1 He rolls damage (GM said roll once, it is the same hit.)
    >rolls a ten, confirms still with the -20 penalty by rolling a 4, and then rolls ten, ten, ten, nine. Grendel just disemboweled two bloodletters in one strike.

    >Grendel just disemboweled two bloodletters in one strike.

    Jesus, does Grendel even find Khorne's Daemons interesting anymore? He just killed two bloodletters like they were nothing.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:35 No.3921592
    God damn, someone up there likes him.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:38 No.3921603

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:41 No.3921621
    This is not a word I throw around lightly.

    Also your DM gets more bonus points for handling sex in a believable and non-creepy manner.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:45 No.3921649
    Oh yes, the Kill counter on Grendel reads as follows now:

    Left Side (Daemons)
    Charnel Daemon Caricature
    Three Bloodletter Caricatures.
    Juggernaut of Khorne Caricature.
    Unbound Daemonhost Caricature (eyes everywhere, claws for hands, snakes everywhere and had scales)

    Right Side (Xenos)
    Beast of Solomon Caricature (mini dune worm with more scales and teeth)
    Ork Nob Caricature
    Ork Warboss Caricature (complete with Mega Armor)

    Additionally, for pulling off the whole 'killed a warboss with his own gun and killed an unbound daemonhost at the same time' and for killing two bloodletters in one hit simultaneously, he got:

    1 more fate point
    1500 XP for crazy badassery (this is in addition to the experience everone got for all the fights and building collapse and such)
    Custom talent 'Fearless of Orks' (Ork fear ratings are ignored)
    Grendel's Claw got upgraded for more daemon blood and putting down a few orks, and is now:
    A Best Quality Mono Sanctified Knife That can re-roll a missed attack once per round against any foe, and gets another re-roll once per round against Daemons (meaning he needs to miss three times in a row to miss a daemon) and Daemons cannot parry the knife due to its extreme anti-daemon history.
    And the love of YET ANOTHER planet. That makes Solomon, Ambulon on Scintilla and Cantus that all know Grendel's name and face and find him awesome.

    The GM also said we will soon be having a mini session where Thorians come to investigate Grendel between normal missions, which is only natural considering the shit he pulled off.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:46 No.3921652
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    It's official.
    Grendel is The Emperor incarnate.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:50 No.3921682
    I fervently believe we have one of the better GMs in the world. We never get bored enough to sketch/stack dice, he does railroading only once in a blue moon and even then only when appropriate (you COULD not try and put out the fire, but that would mean you will either burn to death or have to jump from the fifth floor), and his campaigns have a ridiculous amount of stuff going on. He even does voices for the occassional comic relief NPC that make us crack up.

    And he pays for food when it is our turn, and does not impose any more housrules other than:
    1: Don't break anything.
    2: Puke in the bathroom in the toilet if you need to.
    3: Do not steal anything.

    That is it. Want to drink at the sessions? Go for it, he can handle it, and even keep everyone just as entertained and mostly focused as before. Want to light up? As long as no one objects, you can hotbox his basement if you want. I honestly have no complaints about the guy.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:51 No.3921688
    At this point, the previous AWESUM will help cement further AWESUM of greater magnitude, snowballing larger and larger until the guy is fucking putting on a replica of the Emp's armor and laying fucking waste to a million orks a minute.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:53 No.3921695



    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:53 No.3921700
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    Damn, I sure as hell did not catch that. That is a fucking amazing bit of backstory. And sneaky as hell.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:57 No.3921712
    Wait, he has a fucking monocle.

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:57 No.3921713
    "Yes, again and again men have died fighting enemies of the imperium stronger than them, more implacable then them, and only through the strength of numbers and the strength of technology, be it the Navy or that which turns men into Space Marines, does the imperium still stand. And yet you, a lone man, as bereft of power as one could find in the inquistion, you stood against foes stronger, more fierce than you, prehaps more powerful than any servant of the imperium, and did not die. You flourish in the face of that which strikes down others, and always emerge alive and whole, and stronger for it. I question whether you are simply a man, or something more."

    That is not only a great bit of dialogue, it also is sufficiently vague that at the time it could easily be taken as being said by a Sister of Battle, and at the same time could be looked at later as being clearly said by a cultist of Khorne.

    I want to shake your GM's hand.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)04:57 No.3921714
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    Please, PLEASE tell me you live somewhere in canada.
    I'll drive from vancouver to quebec if needs be, but I wanna play with your GM!
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:02 No.3921739

    Seriously, I doubt any form of road trip would be worth how far you would have to drive to get here, as we are in northern California on top of a mountain by the sea.

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:03 No.3921742
    God damnit, I sometimes hate living in WA.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:03 No.3921747
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    Damn...I guess worship from afar will have to suffice.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:05 No.3921752
    You owe it to us to record these, then.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:07 No.3921762
    I will bounce the idea off of the other players and GM. Be warned that if it does get recorded in full, each session will be around six hours, and if transcribe a short book.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:09 No.3921772
    Just one session would be fine, man.

    Six hours of FUCKING AWESOME?

    At any rate, I'll understand if it doesn't fly, so no pressure.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:12 No.3921786
    None of this actually has occurred, but it's fun to read anyways.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:13 No.3921798
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    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:14 No.3921802
    Believe what you will, as long as people get to read about it is all I care.
    >> Bob 03/09/09(Mon)05:15 No.3921803

    vote for Grendel, the fatguy that can!
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:20 No.3921827
    I... want to believe this... but... well... ugh... call me a bitter person, this sounds too awesome to be true.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:20 No.3921829

    It's not like I said it's a shitty story. It's fun. It's promoting Dark Heresy.

    But Grendel's player pretty much has to be pounding the GM for these things to happen as they do.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:28 No.3921862
    Whether the GM fudges rolls in Grendels favor I cannot claim to know. However all players roll on the same table, and we have watched him pull ridiculous rolls out of nowhere. We have even made him change dice five times, and he still gets a constantly higher amount of awesome rolls than the rest of us.

    The guy has won prizes in assorted lotteries (never anything big, but still sizable) has never broken a bone, never been fired, never got caught masturbating while growing up, never had a girlfriend cheat on him, never gotten a speeding ticket, etc. He is an all-around lucky bastard. Which is why we usually force him to pay for food. We feel it evens out that way.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:36 No.3921903
    That, and if he buys it, it probably won't turn out to have lolsalmonella.
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:38 No.3921909
    ....The Fuck.

    We have never had a single person get any form of stomach problem from any food when Grendel's player gets it. I hadn't even realized that. GODDAMN WHY IS HE SO LUCKY.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:40 No.3921922

    If this is he, you need to make a few calls.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:47 No.3921952
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    Gentlemen, I believe we have found Grendel's player...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:52 No.3921979
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:53 No.3921984
    Next version of DH needs Grendel in the examples. For great justice.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)05:57 No.3922005
    An example of what your character will never grow to become?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)06:11 No.3922084
    And here is an example of Dark Heresy play:
    (one of Grendel's exploits)
    Statistically speaking, the average player has approximately a one in ten thousand chance of being able to successfully emulate such a play style.
    Now here is an example of normal play:
    (less awesome/dangerous adventure, with more player casualties)
    This is what you can expect.

    Is something like this what you had in mind?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)06:13 No.3922097

    Make sure the second example is as GRIMDARK as possible. Y'know, so people realize how screwed ordinary non-Grendel mortals are in Dark Heresy.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)06:22 No.3922166
    DM: You are facing a Charnel Daemon.
    P: FUCK YEAH, I CHARGE THE DAEMON WITH MY KNIFE. -rolls dice, 89-! Oh ummm...
    DM: The Daemon attacks you, 45, he hits, 10, he deals damage, 32, he hits, 4 damage, in total... -rolls on critical hit table- ...yeah, your head explodes into a cloud of brain juice and shrapnel like bone splinters. You're dead Jim.
    P: But... but... the example, how could it be so misleading. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)06:49 No.3922314
    Anyone have a link to the first thread? I found the one before this on suptg, but I can't find the first.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:00 No.3922361
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    This is...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:03 No.3922383
    Hold on.
    Grendel has gained a large amount of fame and acclaim on several worlds for his feats of heroism and absurd luck, right? And he has already acted as a sort of mentor to several untrained acolytes.

    If his exploits are the things newly inducted acolytes try to replicate then there will be a much higher fatality rate among new acolytes. Over time, only a scant few, the truly lucky and the truly cautious, will actually make there way through multiple missions. Grendels very existence will pare away the non-tactically minded/unlucky acolytes, leaving only pseudo Grendels. While this sounds great at first, the sheer number of acolytes required to make each inquisitor able to handle so many challenges will most assuredly not be met, and so while the quality of the average acolyte might go up, it is only because all the acolytes who weren't either exceptionally talented from the beginning never got a chance to grow. In the long run, Grendel's existence, should he remain an acolyte, will potentially irreperably damage the Inquisition.

    Further, if that Tzeentchian Daemonhost hadn't been there recently, the Warboss and his army would likely have killed Grendel. Instead, he is alive, and his accomplishments grow.

    Does this mean both Khorne AND Tzeentch have their eye on this guy? Damn.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:04 No.3922391
    not that far down, the post that first reveals Grendel starts with a single line documenting it is from a dark heresy campaign.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:06 No.3922403
    And that is in addition to what by all accounts is an incredible amount of the Emperor's divine blessing aiding him.

    So two Chaos gods and the God Emperor of mankind all pay attention to this guy. This overweight librarian. With a knife.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:28 No.3922483
    cheers, I failed at internetting.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:30 No.3922494


    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:46 No.3922545
    Our GM knows fluff like a motherfucker, and our old characters fell to a huge, convoluted and decidedly Euclidean Tzeentchian plot that spanned centuries and worlds. And we weren't even the main goal, just another part of the plan, ultimately aimed at making a Cultist infiltrator of the Inquisition rise to the seat of Inquisitor Lord, and in the end he got his position over our Inquisitor because we failed a crucial mission in such a manner that an exterminatus needed to be called down on Prol VI for what as far as the Inquisitors where aware was a simple case of a low level rogue psyker (He was actually possessed by an elder daemon of Tzeentch that manipulated events in such a way we had to sacrifice ourselves and the planet to stop what appeared to be a full-blown daemonic invasion, but by calling down the exterminatus and the fact we couldn't get any messages out other than the exterminatus call, it looked like we somehow monumentally blundered and called down an unneeded exterminatus on a huge data repository for the Inquisition) As far as the Inquisitors were concerned, our Inquisitor's retard acolytes (us) did something inexcusably stupid.

    This Tzeentchian Daemonhost may be portents of another grand and exceptionally twisted plan. I don't know if I love the idea of more awesome or hate the idea we will probably once again not figure it out.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:54 No.3922564
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    Dude...is your GM yagami light?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)07:58 No.3922571

    just as planned...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:05 No.3922584
    >>The guy has won prizes in assorted lotteries (never anything big, but still sizable) has never broken a bone, never been fired, never got caught masturbating while growing up, never had a girlfriend cheat on him, never gotten a speeding ticket, etc. He is an all-around lucky bastard. Which is why we usually force him to pay for food. We feel it evens out that way.

    This ruined it.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:07 No.3922592
    And you somehow see crazy awesome rolls as not being luck? It stands to reason someone defined as a 'lucky' individual gets such rolls.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:07 No.3922593

    this site is GREAT. history? context?
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:10 No.3922609
    Better. He is both an obsessed genre fan of mysteries and a sometime author of such works. Plus he puts insane prep time into making plans.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:13 No.3922617

    no it doesn't.

    i know regular warhammer fantasy and 40K players who can roll dice in ways most us can only dream of - and i've seen them fudge the rolls just as well

    its called chance, its this random this that you cant really predict.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:13 No.3922619
    Yes, but of course.

    I will headfirst fall into this belief of "people with a bit more favorable odds" !

    Thanks for blowing my mind!
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:27 No.3922689

    Would be easy to run a WoD-style game using this site- players are D-class staff, and and Agent acts as their Inquisitor. I think I will do this.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)08:37 No.3922753
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    I don't think anyone's deserved this more than Grendel.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:12 No.3922930
    Just making sure I got this right, but Benedicta is not a real Sister of Battle, but is a sleeper agent for some cultists of Khorne, getting close to Grendel this mission to kill him if he proves weak or support him if he stays bloody against the Orks, and now potentially has the child of Grendel, someone who has repeatedly been in bloody combat with major league Khorne daemons, and has thus earned Khorne's attention, but because of both his battle prowess and his act of chivalry might be falling for him? Do I have that right?

    God damn that is an awesome NPC. Mind Telling us about some other notable NPCs in your campaign?
    >> The Guy Who Cried Grendel Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:21 No.3922963
    Yes, you got that right as far as I can tell (the GM hasn't outright said she is the cultist, but it seems clear to me she is)

    As to notable NPCs, rather than jumping to our inquisitor or some other big name character, I would like to talk about Brel Mavin, the pseudo-quartermaster that we report to on scintilla in the Inquisitorial holdings. The guy is a tenacious bargainer, and throws foul language about frequently, and leers at any woman coming for equipment as often as he derides males as being sexually incapable. He frequently tries to start arm wrestling matches or even fist fights if you try to haggle too hard to resolve what the final price is. We have played cards against him, and have hated him with a passion. But the fact remains that despite being one of the hardest bargainers we have ever run into, we keep coming back because he is always interesting, always ready to slip in a grudging compliment after a mission in between the cursing and haggling.
    Also Hak drank under the table once and won a free red dot laser sight, melee attachment (using a mono knife) and an exterminator kit for his autogun. Afterward several of us have tried to get him to bet something on drinking again, but always end up playing cards or something to settle what price we ultimately pay. I love that guy.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:29 No.3922993
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    We need more drawfaggotry of grendel and, now, benedicta. Bonus for rule 34 of the two!

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:31 No.3923005
    beating of a dead horse, The
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:32 No.3923006
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    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:34 No.3923024
    > the battle is decidedly one sided (they are still on fire)
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:49 No.3923065
    There is not much I can say other than AWESOME
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)09:55 No.3923092
    I love you...
    I really do...
    Don't ever change Cromwell
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:02 No.3923129
    I always look forward to these stories, hearing of the awesome of Grendel, the over weight clerk who defies logic and spits in the eye of convention.

    May he die gloriously when his time comes. Until then, let him live a life he never thought would befall him with all the passion the followers of the Emperor could only dream of.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:08 No.3923157
    His knife is the knife that will bore a hole in chaos.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:09 No.3923158
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:15 No.3923199

    More like...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:17 No.3923211
    You are
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:24 No.3923272
    Keep this thread up, /tg/. I'm not a good drawfag, but if no one else draws Grendel carrying a Sister of Battle away from the burning wreckage of a city, I will.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:25 No.3923282
    Do it faggot
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:30 No.3923309
    Do it. Do it like the motherfucking fist of the north star.
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 03/09/09(Mon)10:30 No.3923311
    Nice work OP.
    >> KHORNE 03/09/09(Mon)10:42 No.3923388
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:44 No.3923395

    For the love of the Emperor, DO IT

    And remember, Grendel is a heavy set guy. Something the other drawfags keep forgetting.

    But hey, if it's Grendel, it is good.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:47 No.3923410
    For God's sake please tell me Grendel has been/will be statted for use as an independent character on the tabletop. Being able to take him as a heroic Acolyte in an Inquisitorial Retinue would be fuckawesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:47 No.3923411
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    I propose the baby comes out like this
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:50 No.3923426
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    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)10:51 No.3923428
    If you want it. Get to work
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:00 No.3923469
    /tg/ is gay for Grendel, and it's entirely ok.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:01 No.3923476
    The more I read of Grendel, the less I believe this is true.

    But I want to believe, I really do.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:03 No.3923481
    >> Desicated corpse of Gary !J63Q5vq7vE 03/09/09(Mon)11:17 No.3923538
    Then believe. Not like you gain any more benefit from doubting this shit, but then again, though you don't lose anything from believing either.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:20 No.3923561
    This is the kind of stuff I find difficult in believing it could be made up. Honestly. I have seen some ungodly dice rolling in my days. Some dice just like other players more then others. Even digital ones.

    Many times I have face palmed as a DM as one of my players gets roll after roll, just upending my schemes and plots. I enjoy them, because as I know, luck swings both ways.

    We can expect Grendel to die horribly. But it may take a while.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:23 No.3923582
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    At the hands of his daughter
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:23 No.3923585
    I have a Scum in my game who is almost as lucky as Grendel. Haven't thrown daemons against him yet but frankly it's not that unlikely that he would just pummel a bloodletter into submission with his cosh. He has something like thirty Righteous Furies so far and has only played about four sessions total, including a LOT of sneaking around and squabbling with each other over why the psyker is an idiot. Grendel's success is extremely unlikely, but it IS entirely possible.

    Also, Grendel is the fucking Aragorn of Dark Heresy, prove me wrong.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:25 No.3923601
    >I guess the player wasn't really feeling like he would live long, so he decided to go for rule of cool. The GM rules he must make a -20 agility test to try,

    It is nice that the player playing Grendel (no matter how lucky he may be) is expecting for his luck to run out. It'd ruin it a little if he became an egotistic "I AM AWESOME" bastard.
    >> Gary !gygaxQnoLg 03/09/09(Mon)11:31 No.3923631
    Perhaps it is the fact that he plays like he's a humble kamikaze instead of an over-confident douchebag that gives him such supernatural luck?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:36 No.3923659

    A good hypothesis.

    He does not let his unnatural luck inflate his ego, and instead just hopes it will carry him through another epic feat.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:36 No.3923663
    I have a Rohirrim Animist in a MERP game (yes, I know it's a horrible system, I'm not running the game.) who was taken out of the game almost entirely on the first session by a lucky spear hit which tore a ligament. After paying for healing and starting the second session, we were charged with killing a young, newly awakened dragon that was threatening Edoras. Along with us came a bunch of mercenaries, the rest of the party and a few criminals who were offered a pardon.

    Things went very badly at first; our mercenaries were slaughtered almost instantly after their weapons mostly broke against the dragon's thick hide, but they gave a good account of themselves and knocked off a decent amount of its health (just under a quarter) in the first few rounds. However, this now meant that it was essentially us and three criminals (who worshipped the dragon, as it turned out.) against a dragon. There was also a dwarf who decided he was going to climb up the walls for three rounds so he could drop on the Dragon's back and surprise it, which worked. The Dragon was very surprised for one round and then ate him whole.

    So, our Rohirrim Ranger and Dwarf Warrior are battling the thing up close, and I have backed away as my only weapon (a scimitar) has just shattered. Our Dunedain Ranger slides under the dragon with a heroic maneuver in an attempt to stab it in the soft underbelly, but is overcome by the stink (dragons REEK up close) and was unable to act. Next round, he fell unconcious due to the noxious fumes.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:48 No.3923744

    So, our Dunedain has just fallen unconcious under the dragon, but luckily it can't shift it's body around enough to eat him without making itself INCREDIBLY vulnerable to the Ranger and Dwarf, so it doesn't bother. Instead, it gores the Dwarf through the kidneys, essentially killing him (he was alive for up to 6 rounds in intense agony). Distraught at the possibility of losing one of his comrades but unable to avenge him (having no weapon), my character has the ingenious idea of searching through the dragon's hoard to see if anything can help save our friend. A lucky roll later, I find a potion of lifekeeping, which basically means we can resurrect him later. While I'm doing this, one of the dragon-worshippers has decided he's going to try and kill our elven PC, who has lost the use of his legs and is now rolling around on the floor parrying like a motherfucker and screaming for help. My character, so obsessed with saving his comrade before the soul departs the body, doesn't notice any of this and barges straight past the criminal, knocking him over. Our Elf then leaps on him and stabs him repeatedly in the throat while laughing maniacally.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)11:49 No.3923749
    Final continue, I promise this is relevant, too.

    So, our Rohirrim Ranger has been heroically engaged in single combat for a while, and I'm about to snatch up the dwarf's weapon and assist him when I notice something sparkling next to me. It's a dagger. A very unusual dagger. A failed will roll later, the DM tells me that I can't seem to take my eyes off of it. Also, the dragon has noticed that I have just stolen something from its hoard, and is now INCREDIBLY PISSED OFF at me, so it comes rushing at my character.. Who picks up the dagger, rolls underneath it, and stabs it in the stomach after a series of RIDICULOUSLY lucky rolls. (93, 99 and 92, respectively.) The dragon goes 'OH SHIT.' and dies almost immediately in screeching pain, as the dagger turns out to be a magical Dragonslaying weapon. My level 1 Animist (healer and all-around herbalist) character has just killed a dragon, doing two thirds of its health in damage in a single hit, with a dagger.
    How is this relevant? Well, during the first session, my character didn't have a name. At the start of the second session (the one with the dragon), I had decided to call him Grendel.

    What the fuck.
    >> Gary !gygaxQnoLg 03/09/09(Mon)11:52 No.3923772
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    >How is this relevant? Well, during the first session, my character didn't have a name. At the start of the second session (the one with the dragon), I had decided to call him Grendel.

    ..."What the fuck" indeed...
    >> tough love /co/mrade 03/09/09(Mon)11:57 No.3923828
    Well shit, now Tzeentch is going to be after Grendel's shit. Slaanesh too probably for seducing a cultist or something, I dunno...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:03 No.3923896

    Obviously Slaanesh wants Grendel because he's AWESOME TO EXCESS BABY, YEAH. Doom Rider's going to put a sidecar on his bike and stick Grendel in there, ride around with Grendel's Fang all up in this shit, SoBs in his lap, siring demon children and cutting off heads.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:03 No.3923897
    While this is epic I am having an awfully hard time believing that this could possibly happen.

    Thought Grendel's downfall is coming. Unless his seed is pure holiness and cleanses the cultist from the inside out.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:25 No.3924108
    All praise Saint Grendal, the finest acolyte in his service!
    The Bloodletter of Bloodletters!
    The Librarian of our Hearts!
    The Savior of Calixis!
    The Emperor's Quill!

    ... Alternately, the player could decide to aim for a bad end and become the Scourge of the Calixis Sector.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:25 No.3924110
    I vote that Grendel falls, gets the mark of Chaos Ascendant, and leads a successful crusade.

    Fuck 'em. THIS is how to go out in a blaze of glory. While Failbaddon is sulking in the Eye of Terror.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:27 No.3924140

    And the Emperor finally gives up the ghost on exactly the day and hour, down to the microsecond, that her child is born. The Imperium is hurled into chaos for twenty years, during which Grendel fights, and dies, to protect his son, never realizing that the Emperor he fights to avenge will one day grow to avenge his own father, a paunchy librarian with a little knife and balls of steel.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:37 No.3924221
         File :1236616654.gif-(988 KB, 215x161, Bloodthirster.gif)
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    I wonder how long we'll have to wait for him to take down a Bloodthirster.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:40 No.3924236

    Writefags. Now.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:41 No.3924249
    As long as it takes to stat them.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:44 No.3924276
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)12:47 No.3924301
    Oh god, I wish I knew more about the WH40k universe to do this story justice, otherwise I'd write a fucking novel right now
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)13:21 No.3924574
    Here sits the God-Emperor of mankind on his golden throne in all his glory. Three hundred Adeptus Custodes stand on guard, willing to sacrifice themselves at a moment's notice for their deity. They are loyal only to him, and would only leave his side at his command.

    A ripple runs through the alert guardsmen. An order has been given. They are to leave him. They unquestioningly obey. As they file out through the enormous doors, only two remain behind. The Emperor himself, and one guard ordered to remain. The huge doors shut.

    The guard shudders as a new order is given. He hesitates. He does not know what to do. His two prime directives are in conflict. To protect the Emperor and to obey the Emperor when called upon. Slowly, his hand moves towards the golden throne.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)13:27 No.3924623
    Grendel is not a fa/tg/uy. He is THE fa/tg/uy.

    I propose Grendel's Claw be added to the list of weapons /tg/ can summon.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)13:27 No.3924632
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)13:32 No.3924673
    Not related to OP at all

    "So we were in a bar playing darts. Just when it is Grendels turn we hear an anerous uproar outside and VERY shortly after an enormous head descends through the roof. Grendels panicks and declares that he throws the dart in his hand at the head while scrambling for the nearest exit."

    Not related to OP at all
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)13:33 No.3924678
    Bright light crashes through the ceiling of the Emperor's chamber. A deafening roar fills the room as the guards rush to reenter the room. They are momentarily blinded by the light and know the source to be the Emperor himself. Several eyes trace the light's path upwards through the ceiling and on up until it disappears in the distance.

    The light slowly fades. They see the golden throne is broken. The lone guard is laying next to it, dead. His gun still warm, the hole in his head still leaking. They all know what has happened. No one speaks. There is nothing to be said. They all look up through the large hole directly above the Emperor's now unquestionably lifeless body. They do not pray. There is no one to pray to now.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)14:02 No.3924936
    I want to sit in on a session of this some time to see how your GM does things, because it sounds like he could be teaching a damn course on it.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)14:26 No.3925165
         File :1236623160.jpg-(50 KB, 800x800, Slowpoke PROGRESS.jpg)
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    just as planned
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)14:30 No.3925207
    Goddamnit, you can't just kill the emperor and end the story! What about Grendel and his kid?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)15:42 No.3925898
    Words.....cannot describe how awesome Grendel is.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)15:43 No.3925909
    Benedicta, eh?

    As in...Benedict Arnold, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)15:59 No.3926040
    Benedict isn't that uncommon of a name for saints and other holy people... It means Good Word or Good Speaker or something to that effect. My Latin's a little rusty so I'm not entirely sure on which.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:00 No.3926049
    Oh, and the suffix -a denotes that it is a female.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:04 No.3926086

    I'm well aware, it just seems to be an interesting coincidence.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:07 No.3926105
    Benedicta, eh?

    As in...Pope Benedict, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:34 No.3926314
    Either this is a troll or somebody unaware that Benedict Arnold is a reviled traitor of the US revolution.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:37 No.3926337
    American history gets dick-all attention outside of North America, so the latter is perfectly likely.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:39 No.3926344
    Or someone who thinks that people associating a rather common name with one person is rather silly.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:41 No.3926359
    More taking note of the irrelivancy of those similar names.

    Also, depending on who you talk to, Benedict Arnold was either a dirty traitor or an awesome-ass double agent. To Canadians, the latter. Are you suggesting that Canadians worship Khorne, sir? Do you believe the Skull Throne is in Saskatoon? I don't think I like what you're suggesting.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:48 No.3926415
    Canadians worship Khorne? That would make no sense. Now Canadians worshiping Tzeentch... THAT makes sense. Them Canadians is crafty bastards.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:49 No.3926422
    Holy shit, what rank is Grendel now, and what has he been spending experience on?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:51 No.3926447
    Benedict Arnold is a hero. The real traitors were the ones fighting against the Crown.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:54 No.3926472
         File :1236632046.jpg-(27 KB, 360x260, saskatoon2(1).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:56 No.3926492
         File :1236632161.jpg-(281 KB, 1650x1275, grendel.jpg)
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    I deliver.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:58 No.3926513
         File :1236632301.gif-(261 KB, 300x306, 1221856713277.gif)
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    Holy mother of terra...that is awesome!
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)16:58 No.3926516
    ...Grendel's black? Or is that just the divine gangsta wrath of the Emperor shining out from him?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:00 No.3926526
    He's silhouetted against the fire in the background...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:00 No.3926527
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    It's called shadows. Lrn2picture.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:00 No.3926536

    Supposed to be backlighting from the fires and explosions, but I'll settle with a black Grendel. He did seduce an SoB, and is one bad mutha fucka.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:00 No.3926537
    is that sailor tau in the corner?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:03 No.3926558
         File :1236632603.jpg-(8 KB, 159x254, sailortau.jpg)
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    That's me.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:32 No.3926802
    I would like to contribute some drawfaggotry but am not terribly familiar with the subject matter and don't know what kind of outfit a space librarian wears. Anyone have visual aid?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)17:43 No.3926872
         File :1236635001.jpg-(138 KB, 556x413, 1224640785165.jpg)
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    Pretty much something that looks like a combination trenchcoat and bath robe. >>3921700 is pretty close to it.
    Now that you have an idea what to do, by all means, COMMENCE DRAWFAGGOTRY!
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:01 No.3927001

    Keep in mind the D-class get executed or mindwiped via SCP once a month.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:04 No.3927030
    Oh hey, how's it going man. Drawfaggin' it up?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:08 No.3927069
    Welcome to 1d4chan.

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:12 No.3927110
         File :1236636772.jpg-(37 KB, 284x350, SuperStock_1558-011160.jpg)
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    You are now imagining Grendel as a stereotypical fat, jolly preacher.
    You are now imagining the guy in this image doing everything written by the OP.
    Including whisking away the smoking hot Khornate babe.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:14 No.3927127

    I was under the impression that that's basically what he was supposed to look like anyway.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:14 No.3927131
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:23 No.3927196
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    Oh dear god...
    I want to be shocked and offended, but...it fits too fucking perfectly...
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:40 No.3927330

    I had to, for Grendel
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:42 No.3927354
         File :1236638567.jpg-(26 KB, 613x452, lazydraw.jpg)
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    This thread caught my eye, so here's a doodle.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:43 No.3927368
    also, cool thread
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:44 No.3927371
    Not bad for a doodle. clean it up and add some detail and it'd be an awesome pic.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)18:53 No.3927442
    Maybe later, watching chowder right now.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)19:07 No.3927525
    You people are all fools to think Grendel is being coveted by Tzeench and Khorne, they send their demons to kill him before he can fulfill his TRUE destiny.

    Think about it: A rather fat, bald and seemingly pleasant older gentleman is slowly stacking the odds against himself. He holds no pride at all for his actions, pride is the domain of the other more vain gods. Entropy shall surely catch up to him one day and by then all his luck shall run out, leaving a humble man ready to accept his final moments.

    And on that day, Papa Nurgle shall welcome his newest son with open arms.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)19:54 No.3927888
    I'd like Ciaphas Cain to punch Grendel in the face, but that's just me.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)20:02 No.3927986
    They'd likely just brofist
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)20:23 No.3928182

    Added to the fact that he inspires passionate love with his every action (in both Imperials AND Chaos cultists at the same time), he's quite likely favoured by Slaanesh too.

    My gods.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)20:34 No.3928302
         File :1236645291.jpg-(15 KB, 286x290, WatchEverybodyLovesRaymondOnli(...).jpg)
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    Everyobody Loves Grendel?

    Also I see you Devin, I know you are in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)20:36 No.3928320
    I like this! It's good! I have to mention though, I don't know if it was intentional, but those are some massive thighs on that Sororitas. Like, Chun-Li levels of thigh.

    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)21:47 No.3928852

    It could be shadows from his robe, or maybe she has power armor on.

    Anyways, sororitas tail and awesome bombardment? It sounds like next summer's blockbuster.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)22:53 No.3929290
    Okay, so that is:
    somewhere over 500 but at or below 650 experience going into his first moment of crazyness.
    1000 for beheading the charnel daemon
    750 for riding the juggernaut and co into oblivion
    1500 for the bloodletters and warboss/daemonhost stuff here.

    3750-3900 XP for Grendel, not counting session xp, which if done at normal presented rates in the book, can range from 300-400 per each six hour session, three confirmed sessions total...

    So Hypothetically Grendel has accrued somewhere between 4,650-5,100 experience in his career, and is either a high level 5 adept or a low level 6.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:01 No.3929353
    Do I get exp by reading his tales of amazingness?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:03 No.3929369
    Only if your character read it, since knowledge gained via intake of Grendel lore is only applicable in the WH40K universe.

    If that is the case, 100XP per adventure read.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:06 No.3929403
    Does 1d4chan still exist in the 401st century?
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:08 No.3929423
    Yes, but you need tech use, scholastic lore (tech use), logic and forbidden lore (cults) to correctly interpret it.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:21 No.3929530
         File :1236655286.jpg-(99 KB, 648x1210, Adept-Grendel.jpg)
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    I had to change >>3921530 to made Grendel more of a overpowered fa/tg/uy (ermember his body build)

    And the monocle kick ass.

    And, yup, expect more drawfaggotry whenever I find this Grendel threads
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:24 No.3929553
    Too many good rolls. I just don't habeeb it. It's an awesome story, one of the best /tg/ has produced, but I am sceptical as to how true it is.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:25 No.3929563
    >It's promoting Dark Heresy.

    And it's working, I'm looking for that book now.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:33 No.3929641
    If you're getting it just so you can do all this awesome stuff, don't bother. Grendel is highly favored by the Emperor and you most likely will die on your first mission. There are ridiculously many ways to be killed in this game and you start out as mere cannon fodder for the Inquisition.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:42 No.3929724
    While the lethality rate of early games is sometimes ridiculous, you can still live long and have a successful career as long as you are solid on rules, no how to exploit cover and how to stack positive modifiers to your rolls. The game gets exceptionally lethal if you treat it as being a WH40K version of 4E, as without cautious and clever planning for fights death is very likely.
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:45 No.3929750
    I'm the drawfag from >>3921530 and >>3929530 and this >>3923272 is my next proyect
    >> Anonymous 03/09/09(Mon)23:51 No.3929801
    Mother of God.
    Start reading.
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:07 No.3929937
    Awesome, I hope you have fun with it.

    But honestly, What I want to see be drawfagged is EITHER:

    The time Grendel rode a Juggernaut of Khorne off the broken bottom of a hive city while a bloodletter and the beast of solomon (toothy worm monster) were being pushed before it.

    Grendel disemboweling two bloodletters in one slash.

    grendel doing summary execution to a wounded nob.

    Grendel killing an Ork Warboss in Mega Armor with his own snazzgun blaster, and killing a nearby hulked out daemonhost with the ensuing blast comprised of the ammunition on the warboss's chest that exploded during the shot.
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:08 No.3929946
    Actually I like the whole 40k fluff, and btw the kind of game you described is my kind of game, I like the tension of not 100% if I ever going to make it alive.

    I'm rather new to roleplaying but this and D&D 2ed is callling my attention a lot
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:14 No.3929982
    >>The time Grendel rode a Juggernaut of Khorne off the broken bottom of a hive city while a bloodletter and the beast of solomon (toothy worm monster) were being pushed before it.

    I like this too. Since I have some free time ill see what can I get done, if not in this thread, in the next.
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:25 No.3930078
    Great, now all the Chaos Gods are gay for Grendel.
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:35 No.3930172
    Gork and Mork will too once they notice they're missing a Warboss.

    The Harlequin is probably laughing his tits off at this whole thing.

    And the Emperor has favored Grendel since the beginning.
    >> Anonymous 03/10/09(Tue)00:45 No.3930260
    Hell yes, please do. Also if possible, once done please just make a new thread if this one is gone, as it could be several days before the next session.

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