You’ve probably seen it before on the news. Neighborhood panics as bear digs through suburban trash cans. Wolf attacks against livestock skyrocketing. Car accidents involving deer fastest growing cause of traffic injuries. Mountain lion mauls hiker. Raccoons being general pieces of shit. It’s a simple truth that as humans turn more and more of mama nature into developments wild animals are going to be forced to cohabitate with us when they wouldn’t otherwise want to.Same principle applies to werewolves. And vampires. And trolls. And every other fucking magical ass creature you’ve heard of. As human society expands the creatures that once went bump in the night have to deal with the fact everything’s lit up with neon. The old ways just don’t work anymore. Used to be Vlad could spend most days chillin in his coffin and just periodically bust out and chomp the freshest nubile virgin the village over. Now fatass Americans in mobility scooters are driving around his house and the nubile virgins aren’t virgins and they all have pepper spray. The Vlads of the world needed to up their game. They needed to integrate into human society. Some people, the mages and wizards and dragons and the better adjusted vamps don’t have a problem melding into polite society. But what about your 7 foot tall ogre? If he can’t pull a scottish accent he’s screwed.So what do they do? They do as the raccoon do. They become scum sucking bottom feeding parasites on society. In the last century the supernatural has taken the criminal underground by storm. Oni bouncing for yakuza. Werewolf methhead biker gangs. Chupacabra eatsecuting people for the cartels. It’s a fucking shitshow. But it’s my fucking shit show. I am Jason Reinhardt, an enforcer with Limited Liability. Coercing the citizenry, property damage, hostile exorcisms, drive by stakings, all part of the job. Limited Liability might not be household name and I’m not some big dog, but we do well considering we’re mostly human.Mostly.
I shift around in the car seat, trying to unnumb my ass. It’s been a while. I would have expected they’d be back by now. I take a drag on my e-cig, trying to suppress a feeling of vague irritation. Some people say e-cigs are for technophile pusssies. I say that I also like my coffee with creamer and sugar… fuck you.Anyway, I’ve been sitting in a deceptively average silver Honda Accord for the past hour, ever since I dropped off the initiates. The warehouse we’re hitting is only a few blocks away. I’m parked out of sight, but that was intentional. It was only meant to be a smash and grab. Maybe rough up a few elves. Not like it counts if they’re elves.I sigh, exhaling appley steam into the interior of the Accord. The white fog spreads across the windows, blurring street lights into soft orange orbs. A few more seconds of impatient waiting and I open the door and step out into the cool night air. Another drag on the e-cig and then I put it away. Walking around to the back of the car, I pop the trunk. A variety of implements glint up at me in the street light.>OOC Note: This is simply to select your initial primary focus weapon. This has no effect outside of a boost to rolls with the weapon, one you can easily get with the others. Choosing one over another does not prevent you from using others later. All weapons have situations where they are more useful.>Revolver: Your everyday six shooter. Deadly but loud.>Baseball Bat: Shiny black paint on the metal bat gleams back at me ominously. A force rune is printed along the side where the label would normally go.>Hand Knit Mittens: Made by Mrs. Reinhardt’s own two hands, they are imbued with a mother’s love for her son. Nothing more potent against malicious spells, constructs, and spirits.
>>38971404>Baseball Bat: Shiny black paint on the metal bat gleams back at me ominously. A force rune is printed along the side where the label would normally go.
>>38971404>Revolver: Your everyday six shooter. Deadly but loud.
>>38971404>Hand Knit MittensLet's do this.
>>38971404Oh fuck I'm a dumbass. I forgot to specify you can choose two weapons to take, just tell me which one is the primary and which one is the secondary.
>>38971404>Hand Knit Mittens: Made by Mrs. Reinhardt’s own two hands, they are imbued with a mother’s love for her son. Nothing more potent against malicious spells, constructs, and spirits.
>>38971404>>Revolver: Your everyday six shooter. Deadly but loud.primary>Hand Knit Mittens: Made by Mrs. Reinhardt’s own two hands, they are imbued with a mother’s love for her son. Nothing more potent against malicious spells, constructs, and spirits.secondary
>>38971404>Baseball Bat: Shiny black paint on the metal bat gleams back at me ominously. A force rune is printed along the side where the label would normally go
>>38971528In that case>Mitts Primary >Bat Secondary
>>38971528I am>>38971575>Baseball Bat: Shiny black paint on the metal bat gleams back at me ominously. A force rune is printed along the side where the label would normally go primaryAnd >Revolver: Your everyday six shooter. Deadly but loud.
>>38971404Primary:>>Baseball Bat: Shiny black paint on the metal bat gleams back at me ominously. A force rune is printed along the side where the label would normally go.Secondary/Situational:>>Hand Knit Mittens: Made by Mrs. Reinhardt’s own two hands, they are imbued with a mother’s love for her son. Nothing more potent against malicious spells, constructs, and spirits.
>>38971451This is me. baseball bat primary and revolver secondary
>>38971484>>38971404Me here. Mitts primary. Revolver secondary.
>>38971390Mittens. Mittens all the way.Revolver secondary.
>>38971404>Primary: Baseball Bat>Secondary:Hand Knit Mittens
Going Bat primary, mittens secondary. Writan.
>>38971827why mittens secondary? revolver has more votes for secondary with 4, mittens has 3
>Firearms have harder DC's because of negative modifiers>Don't pick firearm for boost to rollsI thought you would have learned from DAQ anons...
I reach into the trunk of the Accord and pull out the bat. Bouncing the metal club in my hand, I test the weight, familiarizing myself with the swing. Satisfied by a warm up that would put many major leaguers to shame, I reach into the trunk for my back up. After much deliberation I decide to grab the mittens. Ma would want me to put her gifts to good use. Besides, pretty quiet around here. Even if the police have written this place off, best not to draw attention to myself.Satisfied with my decision, I shut the trunk and begin walking down the street, following the same path the initiates took not more than sixty minutes ago. The only difference being that while the kids could barely keep themselves from running with all the nerves and pent up energy, I move at a slower, more languid pace. One might say I was sauntering if one was also a pretentious faggot.The sauntering doesn’t last long. A chill breeze blows past me, pushing some light trash along the ground and slithering through my jacket. I shudder and pick up the pace. I’m in Witten Park, the old Warehouse District back when Saintsburgh actually had industry. Now half the warehouses are abandoned, windows shattered or boarded up, and the underground reigns supreme. I hurry up past defunct streetlights and round a corner. At the far end of a line of small warehouses, probably rented out to smaller businesses back when there was such a thing, there’s one with it’s lights on. I don’t bother checking the address.In my line of work, you quickly master the art of silent jogging. It’s a skill I employ on the regular and it’s how I sneak up to the warehouse in question. Not a big building, maybe quarter of football field at most. Even in the dark I can see the faint outline of a tag. It’s crude, little more than “KT15” written in black spray paint. Effective enough to keep your average trash away. I can hear voices slipping out through the window before I even manage to reach the wall.
“-uck you think you are, huh?”By the time I reach the window I hear a disgustingly wet crack. Definitely not something they have in the soundbox for Disney on Ice. I wince and peer through the side of the window. The warehouse has been converted into a chop shop. The unidentifiable remains of several cars lie inside, low benches line the walls supporting various tools and machinery. Aside from the automotive carcasses, the place is mostly clear.“Listen man,” that’s likely Christian Martinez, the only one of the initiates whose name I could remember. Probably because the other two kept on calling him Martini. “We were just fucking around yeah? Just breaking a window or two c’mon man…”Another loud whack, followed by a pained squeal. There are maybe four or five elves standing around the three initiates tied up in the center of the room, all carrying tire irons and wrenches. A few of the fair fucks are nursing what look to be nasty bruises and nastier expressions. Circling around them is a huge potential problem, an ogre dressed for something that most likely wasn’t success. Of the initiates Martini and the fat one are still sitting up. The bigger one, the only one with real biceps, is slumped over, a concerning amount of blood pooling around his head.
“Don’t fucking bullshit me,” bellows the ogre, clearly not in the mood to be bullshitted. “No one is stupid enough to fuck around on TK15 turf alone. Someone fuckin’ sent you! Who do you fuckin’ belong to?”That’s quite the impressive logical leap for an ogre. This bastard has some brains to back his brawn. A second later I realize that the ogre’s brawn is also apparently backed by a worrisomely large wrench, something I find a touch more concerning than his keen intellect, as he hefts the metal club skyward. It’s the sort of wrench people use on tank treads. The tool hangs in the air, frozen, for a few seconds. The ogre’s arm twitches, and Martini’s will and bladder break simultaneously.“Okay! Okay! We’ll fuckin tell you! We’ll tell you who were with! Just s-s-stop! Please!”The ogre’s face breaks into a satisfied smile. Mine does not. I’ve gotta put a stop to this shit before Limited Liability becomes liable for this farce of an initiation.There’s a door fairly close to where I’m standing. Most likely where the initiates came in and probably unlocked. The nearest elf is standing maybe ten feet away from it. There’s also a garage door that’s ajar, further away from the elves and ogre. Definitely unlocked although it would probably give the elves and ogre time to respond to my presence. Also windows. I guess.>Door>Window>Garage Door>After ingress vote, we vote on a Plan of Attack. Feel free to ask any questions you might have, I’ll be forthcoming with more details once this vote is done.
>>38972063>Windowany chance of a dynamic entry through a skylight?
>>38972063Knock on the Door then>WindowJump through a window
I don’t have long to think about this, alright, but part of me figures that they might expect someone to come through the door, and the garage door is just too far away. I grit my teeth in distaste. Glass can sever tendons and cripple you, I prefer not to mess around with it, but I need to get the drop on these fucks. I line myself up so that when I jump through the window, I’ll land near one of the knife ears. Brace myself as I adopt a sprinter’s stance, look up, and charge.>>><<<Jason Reinhardt StatusHit Points: 28/28Limb Status: All goodConcussion Status: All goodAether Points: 20/20Weapon: Baseball BatPowers:>Homerun (2 AeP): Force rune printed on baseball bat. May activate during attack to deal double damage.>Mother’s Love (Passive): All attacks with Mittens deal x4 Damage to spirits and magical constructs ex: golems, ghosts, demonsCombat Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/Brn2RpcFPlan the attack! I’ll be willing to field any questions you might have.
>>38972426Home run the first guy take him out of the fight asap, Then trample the next guy, he's an elf fuck his pansy ass, metaphorically speaking. Get to an area in the garage where not all of them can reach you at once then go to town.
>>38972426Do we have anything we can use like a baseball? Hit it through the window at the elf ten feet from the door then jump through the broken window.
>>38972426I was going to say throw something at the door to distract them momentarily, but apparently its too late for that so instead >>38972478 sounds good.We want to try to reduce the number of fighters before we take on the Ogre, we don't want the others getting any shots in when dealing with that fucker.>>38972503thats a good idea
>>38972426So are we fully human normal?Also, backing this >>38972526
>>38972426>Jasonwhat happened to Frank?
>>38972503>>38972526Thanks.>>38972426Also would a projectile hit from the bat interact with Homerun?
>>38972562I'd rather save our AeP honestly for something more likely to hit and do damage
>>38972539Fair enough question! I'll give you Jason's statline:Physique: 14Agility: 10Acuity: 11Charisma: 10Magic: 10Human averages are 10 across the board, except in magic which is usually 0. Jason represents the uppermost level of physique with a bit of runic boosting. All other things being equal Elves have lower physique scores but higher agility than humans, and an Ogre has even more physique, but much less agility and acuity than humans.
>>38972617That's a fair point, but ten feet is super close. Also It's good to know.
>>38972555Frank is now his uncle, also where you guys go to "level up" as it were.>>38972562Probably, but the odds of hitting are very low. So Action sequence as I sees it:>Jump through window (Free action)>Attack elf>Move to next Elf>Homerun next ElfThis will require 4 rolls of a 3d10. Please respond to this post with your rolls.
>>38972644I meant are we human but that answers all my question in one fell swoop. So why do you assume we won't be a mage if we have 10 more Magic than normal? Does the stat have other implications from just the ability to cast magic. I read your paste - but it seems to imply we are not a spell caster? I just realised you probably just wanted to reveal this post first combat. Ah well.Also find it amusing this is essentially the reverse of DAQ's start thread - we are the trainer not the master.
Rolled 8, 5, 10 = 23 (3d10)>>38972760I think its homerun first elf then move on to next one
Rolled 9, 2, 8 = 19 (3d10)>>38972760Oh boy
Rolled 10, 3, 1 = 14 (3d10)>>38972760
Rolled 10, 8, 4 = 22 (3d10)>>38972760>>38972644>Magic: 10>Human averages are 10 across the boardI hope that means 10 is the average for someone who has at least basic magical training.
Rolled 5, 8, 2 = 15 (3d10)>>38972426Homerun a couple of elves before the ogre has time to react.Would it be possible to bury the ogre under something in the warehouse? Piles of boxes and car parts for example.>>38972779oh well lets roll this
>>38972778>So why do you assume we won't be a mage if we have 10 more Magic than normal? Does the stat have other implications from just the ability to cast magic. I read your paste - but it seems to imply we are not a spell caster?probably means we know about magic, and can use it but can't cast it, like our bat and mittens, have runes and enchantments on them and similar things
>>38972791I have no idea how I missed literally the other half of the sentence
>>38972791>except in magic which is usually 0>>38972799Yeah that makes sense. Since he didnt imagine we would ever cast spells, I wonder what you have to go through to gain the ability. Could be making something out of nothing but still - /tg/ loves magic.
>>38972827Nah, I'd rather not cast magic, we can have others do that stuff for us, but we like to get dirty with our hands.
>>38972854>but we like to get dirty with our hands.Not too dirty. We don't want to dirty much mom's mittens.
>>38972854>Not using both at the same time.
>>38972854I'd like physical empowerment magic so we can smash better. Still, each to their own. You'd probably have to study some dusty tomes or something boring like that anyway.
>>38972876maybe we can get an enchantment or something for them to keep them clean
>>38972880well it seems we've already had some of that as FG spoke of runic boosting in the stats>>38972879this is the same setting as ECQ, unless we specialize in incantation then we can't use both at the same time...
Rolled 4, 9, 4 = 17 (3d10)>>38972760
>>38972986Whoops, thought it would clear the trip. Sorry OP.
I’m running forward, eyes locked on the window as my feet pound against the pavement. About a dozen feet away I leap into the air and dive through the window, bat clutched to my chest and my right elbow shielding my head and upper body. Seriously, do not fuck around with glass. The window explodes out- no inward, and I hurtle through the air in a shower of shattered glass. I’d bet it looked pretty cool if not for the fact that my eye were squeezed shut the entire time. As a result, I felt myself collide with the elf near the door before I saw it. He takes the edge off my landing and I bounce on top of him as we skid across the floor. Shoving myself upright, I deliver a quick strike to his back, one of his ribs making an unpleasant snapping sound as I do.I straighten up, whirling the bat in a gentle circle. The elves stare at me, their expressions registering a satisfying mixture of shock and fear. The ogre gazes at me blankly, mind still trying to catch up with what just happened. I smirk just a little and take a few long steps towards the nearest elf.I catch the bat in my hand mid rotation, and suddenly my arm’s up, elbow pointed at the lights. The force rune on the bat glows silvery white against the black paint. The elf’s eyes widen in horror as the metal sporting utensil makes contact. Unlike the usual crack of a bat, this sounds more like a dull thooom. I can feel a miniature shockwave pass by from the point of impact, mussing up my hair, shaking my chest. The feeling of thunder.
The elf’s head explodes down and out in a shower of gore, red and chunks of pink splattering across the floor of the warehouse. I’m barely recovered from the strike when one of his friends swings a tire iron at me. I lean back slightly, and the instrument whistles by my chest missing by millimeters. Unfortunately, I managed to dodge right into an attack from one of his fellows, the knife ear sneaking up behind me. A sharp pain through my right shoulder as the tire iron strikes. I roll with the blow and take a few step back, bat at the ready. Both elves are in front of me, and close, slightly off balance from their vicious swings. The ogre is stomping towards me now, still trying to cross the distance. He’ll be here any second. The third and final elf has backed away, towards the far wall where some potted plants sit incongruously between angle grinders.>Plan of Attack
Jason Reinhardt StatusHit Points: 24/28Limb Status: Right shoulder a little sore, no big dealConcussion Status: All goodAether Points: 20/20Weapon: Baseball BatPowers:>Homerun (2 AeP): Force rune printed on baseball bat. May activate during attack to deal double damage.>Mother’s Love (Passive): All attacks with Mittens deal x4 Damage to spirits and magical constructs ex: golems, ghosts, demons
>>38973167we should position an elf between us and the ogre at all times, other then that, feint one elf into attacking then counter him
>>38973167Step 1, Hit left elf in the knee/groinStep 2, Homerun right elf into orgre's faceStep 3, finish off left elfStep 4, ???Step 5, Profit
>>38973236Kite the elves back use the bat for defense until the open up then kick on in the knee/balls and wallop the other.
>>38973236Aether Points are at 18. My bad.>>38972791You're not wrong though. Most humans aren't magical in the slightest. For a human with Magical Potential Jason is fairly average at this point.>>38972799This is a correct assessment of Jason's magical skills at this point.
>>38973266>>38973236We should do this then taunt the ogre to charge through an elf dodge and trip the ogre into the elf by the potted plants and angle grinders.
>>38973297That sounds good, a little complex, but good as long as we can homerun that elf into the ogre
>>38973167I don't like that one elf scampering off to the plants and angle grinders. I would say that we should rush him before he can get to them, but his buddies will catch us before we can finish him off if we just straight up run for it. So then:Disarm/stun the two elves in front of us by taking out their arms and then rush the third elf. If we're fast enough we should be able to evade the ogre.
>>38973236Use the excalibat to make a couple more elf explode.
So I think a combination of backing away very slightly and >>38973297 seems to be the most popular option?>Back away (free action, don't roll for it)>kick nearer elf in knee/groin>Home run other elf, preferably into Ogre>Finish off nearest elf with normal bat attack3 Rolls are required.
Rolled 5, 10, 3 = 18 (3d10)>>38973470eh why not
Rolled 7, 7, 3 = 17 (3d10)>>38973470
Rolled 1, 2, 6 = 9 (3d10)>>38973470
>>38973489>>38973493>>38973508ahh the mediocre dice come out to play once more
>>38973532So do you take an average or best of?
>>38973558neither it seems, each dice for each action, which is kind of crap with how shitty and mediocre 3d10 works
>>38973558>>38973615Ah I thought he was taking the roles from multiple players. So is it simply first person to roll determines?
>>38973470Would you be able to explain how the rolling works It's not in the combat pastebin.
>>38973657one roll for each action, first come first picked, all rolls are equal in their consistent meh-ness
I take a few steps back, gently whirling the bat once more as I do. After a second, the elf on my left unleashes a howl of rage and charges forward, eyes fixated on my gently whirling bat. Just as planned. I take a step forward and bring my foot into his faerie crotch. The flimsy figure jerks up into the air, face utterly stricken, and collapses to his knees onto the ground. I pull my foot clear of the inevitable vomit. As I step back I stop whirling the bat and bring it back into a traditional batter’s stance. The other elf charges towards I, tire iron held high in the air, screaming bloody murder. A playful wiggle of the club and the force rune glows white once more. The elf’s face registers terror before the blow connects. Much easier than hitting a ball.Unlike his former compatriot, now an avant garde floor art installation, the blow does not pulverize his head. Instead in merely obliterates all the bones in his left arm and a good many on the left half of his torso too. The elf flies away, completely missing the Ogre, and bounces across the hard concrete ground.Speaking of that ogre, the bastard has covered remarkable distance in the time between my assault on the first elf, and my battery of the third. I quite literally do not have time to face this dilemma when the ogre strikes. It’s an uppercut, which limits it’s power somewhat. Hardly any real consolation as I find myself arcing through the air. My flight on Air Shrek ends abruptly and painfully as my back smashes into the warehouse floor, forcing the air out of my lungs in one agonizing grunt. Coughing and gasping, I scramble upright, bat in hand. I’m now far away from the last whole elf, who seems to be chanting something. The ogre rests his wrench on his shoulder and points at me, guffawing.That fuck.
Jason Reinhardt StatusHit Points: 16/28Limb Status: All goodWinded Status: QuiteConcussion Status: All goodAether Points: 16/20Weapon: Baseball BatPowers:>Homerun (2 AeP): Force rune printed on baseball bat. May activate during attack to deal double damage.>Mother’s Love (Passive): All attacks with Mittens deal x4 Damage to spirits and magical constructs ex: golems, ghosts, demons>Plan of Attack
>>38973823Homerun the chanting elf.The only worst thing than an elf is a fucking wizard elf.
>>38973823charge around the Ogre and get that last elf, after hitting him down normally throw him into the Ogre because god damnit I will throw an elf into an ogre before the day is out
>>38973823Well how our batting accuracy? Pick up something toss it into the air and homerun it into the elf and then either get ready to wallop shrek or do the same to him.
>>38973823Smash chanting elf always geek the mage then deal with shrek
>>38973703Oh yeah sure. If you've played DAQ before you'll be very familiar with it. If you haven't, then that last sentence means nothing to you.Basically, for every round of combat the players vote on a set of actions. I then call for a number of rolls appropriate for those actions. The rolls are 3 d10s summed together. Each pass means the respective action was successful, each fail means it was not. Rolls are allocated to action based on the order of the replies. First roll to first action, second roll to second action, and so on. For example, in the last action sequence, we failed the final bat strike because >>38973508 rolled a 9, which wasn't high enough. I expressed this by having the Ogre hit Jason before he could get off the third attack. (the Ogre also passed a roll at home to hit Jason. He got a 26). You can roll by typing "dice+3d10" into the email field without quotations.
>>38973823I knew that knife ear was up to no good, and now he's chanting shit. Rush him down and give him a free trip on the Louisville Express before we deal with the ogre.How effective do you think angle grinders are vs. Ogres?
>>38973823Get in, take a wack at the chanting elf, and keep moving. Don't need that ogre getting another good hit in.
>>38973862>>38973867>>38973893>>38973950>>38973946Important question guys, are we close enough to get to the elf and A) have enough AP left to hit it or B) get there before he finishes chanting? FG?
>>38973823Geek the mage. Dodge shriek then knock out that elf.
>>38974008I'll be honest. Running to the mage will use up a lot of your AP for that turn, and for once it might actually be a difficult movement roll. The character will be sprinting and will also have to get around herr Shrek. Getting to the mage by itself will probably entail three separate checks. I think you will have enough AP left over to attack, but they might already be done casting by that point. It'll depend on the first three rolls in the sequence.
>>38974008thats why I want to run to him and bypass the ogre for now
>>38973946>He got a 26mind giving us the ogre's loaded dice then? because we're never going to roll that high
>>38974119We won't make it anyways. Better to just homerun something into him.
>>38974137hey man, the other elves all pulled in like 7s and 10s. Trust me, you're fairly easy to hit too and it's a wonder it's only happened twice now.So we going to geek the mage? Here's the roll break down>First part of run to mage>Dodge Shrek>Second part of run>Wallop mageWe'll need 4 rolls of 3d10.
>>38974181we can't homerun the ogre into anything, he's too big, and we need to geek the mage before he does real damage seeing as we're already down to half HP
Rolled 3, 3, 2 = 8 (3d10)>>38974198
Rolled 7, 10, 7 = 24 (3d10)>>38974198GEEK THE MAGE
Rolled 10, 6, 5 = 21 (3d10)>>38974198Do it.
>>38974237and of course one single shitty roll destroys the entire chain as usual...
Rolled 8, 6, 2 = 16 (3d10)>>38974198
>>38974204I meant take a object and hit it into the elf. Nevermind now
>>38974286Gee wouldn't it have been great if we brought our revolver, we could have geeked the mage ages ago... ALWAYS BRING A GUN TO A FIST FIGHT
>>38974309I agree but I was trying to give us a fighting chance with what we had.
>>38974243Hey, at least this is close to the 26 we'll never get.
>>38973946As a DAQ player, that combat pastebin is lookin' spiffy.You're right, the "main" plot of DAQ was less interesting than the day to day workings of a mercenary. The theme of singularity only really called back to Niels' bad shooting skills, which is kinda moot when he was already improving AND saved our ass one time. Otherwise, it was sorta out of place.It wasn't BAD, just not very compatible with the Slice of Mercenary Life that we were getting.
>>38974532>Slice of Mercenary LifeThere needs to be more of this genre
Chanting is bad. Chanting is always bad. Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. So anyway, I quickly realize that I’m about to find out why there are potted plants inside an illegal chop shop, and I’m certain it isn’t for the delightful ambiance. Problem of course being that I’m at the far end of the shop from the likely druid and I’ve got a Shrek standing in between us. Still, he who dares wins.I sprint forward, arms pumping wildly, veering away from the ogre. I’m so fixated on the lunk that I fail to notice I’m on an interception path with the recently emasculated elf. My right foot catches on his ribcage like a freshman hurdler’s. Luckily for me, elves are light and I mostly manage to kick him out of the way instead of getting him tangled up in my feet. I stumble forward a few steps, momentum entirely gone, just in time to see the Ogre raise his wrench for another go. This time, I doubt I’ll be so lucky if that thing manages to connect.I turn my downward momentum into a surprisingly nimble roll, the wrench clatters against concrete not inches away from me. Leaping out of the roll I continue the last dozen yards at a dead sprint. The elf is practically glowing with nature power, her hair whipping back as the pots glow with green light. Her voice, speaking some sort of celtic gobbledygook, warped by the aether suffusing the air. I wriggle one of my Ma’s mittens onto my left hand.
The blow cuts through the spell field like a drunken teenager’s car through a suburban living room. Although there’s nothing to see in the physical realm the once neatly ordered aetheric fields are blasted apart, scattering to the four winds in the wake of my mother’s rib stitches.My fist, although cushioned in a layer of lovingly felted wool, connects to the elf’s face with brutal force. There's no snapping of bone, but I definitely hear a popping of jaw. She is sent tumbling back, not nearly as injured as her friend whose oysters I just turned into jelly, but temporarily stunned at least. I straighten up, shaking out my hand and rest the bat on my shoulder. I slowly turn and face shrek. Pic related.>Plan of Attack! Hopefully last one!
>>38974686>Homerun on the ogre's nuts.Remove ogre kebab
>>38974686Hit the back of his knee with an homerun.
>>38974686He's a lot bigger than us, right?>Throw elf wizard at ogre(preferably chest level)>Run under and Homerun ogre crotch
>>38974686Homerun repeatedly until it goes down. Also homerun to the nuts if possible.
>>38974686Oops, sorry about dropping trip guys. Obviously last post was me.Jason Reinhardt StatusHit Points: 16/28Limb Status: All goodWinded Status: Hardly at all now, thanks for asking.Concussion Status: All goodAether Points: 16/20Weapon: Mitten on left hand, Baseball BatPowers:>Homerun (2 AeP): Force rune printed on baseball bat. May activate during attack to deal double damage.>Mother’s Love (Passive): All attacks with Mittens deal x4 Damage to spirits and magical constructs ex: golems, ghosts, demons
>>38974686>>38974711>>38974720both those sound good>>38974734we throw elf males anon, not elf wimminz, them we keep
>>38974734Ogres are roughly between seven and nine feet tall. Some are smaller, some few are larger. This particular specimen is on the smaller side of average, so maybe 7'6". That's about 2.3 m in commie units.
Alright, so it seems like you guys want to bring down the Ogre, either by nutshot or a blow to the knee, then follow it up with repeated whacks from bat. >Nutshot>>If not shot fails, evade>>Continuing nutshot failure scenario, follow evasion with blow to knee>Once ogre is down, proceed with beat down.Give me a good number of 3d10 rolls. Maybe six or so.
Rolled 9, 8, 8 = 25 (3d10)>>38974943
Rolled 7, 5, 6 = 18 (3d10)>>38974943
Rolled 8, 3, 8 = 19 (3d10)>>38974943
Rolled 1, 6, 2 = 9 (3d10)>>38974943
Rolled 1, 10, 8 = 19 (3d10)>>38974943
>>38974954OGRE KEBAB STATUS:REMOVED
Rolled 9, 7, 7 = 23 (3d10)>>38974943
As is my wont, I start lazily whirling the bat around again. The ogre roars with anger and charges forward, wrench held back and ready to swing. I kinda like to think of myself as a matador in these situations, only instead of a fruity uniform and table cloth I have a bat. Just as the ogre is right on top of me I sidestep and drop to a knee, swinging the bat hard with both hands. Needless to say, the force rune is glowing like… something really bright but also kinda comical when used in a simile. I’ve got nothing.Regardless, the blow connects with an earth rumbling thrum of seismic energy, the bat discharging lord knows how many kilonewtons of force into the ogre’s nutsack. Needless to say, shrek goes down, and he goes down hard. I stand up and bounce the bat on my shoulder as I round the ogre. Flipping his prone form over with a gentle kick, I tower over him. “It’s all ogre now,” I say, smiling at my dank meme.I don’t bother activating the force rune for the next few blows. Really there’s no need for it, and to be honest, considering all the shit I’ll end up in if he did manage to off one of the initiates, I figure this is just some preemptive payback. His skull caves in after four blows. His brains splatter across the floor at the fifth.I straighten up, and turn to address the rest of the situation. One elf is definitely dead, another is probably finished, the one near the door either can’t get up or has decided against it. That leaves the one whose nuts I kicked and the druid as immediate concerns.That said, probably should deal with the initiates at some point soon. The big one isn’t moving and that is a fuckload of blood. Martini and the fatty both look pretty shell shocked>Remove elven kebab>Check up on initiates.>Write in, either third action or details on first two.
>>38975226>>Remove elven kebabWith extreme prejudice. Let them know our name, and let them fear.Always take care of the caster ASAP.
>>38975226REMOVE KEBABAPPLY BATS TO FOREHEADS.
>>38975226>Remove elven kebab
>>38975226I feel we need one elf alive. Just to intricate for information. Was this their entire gang, after all? If there are more of them, we should learn how many. Remove the rest we don't need though.
>>38975226>Check up on initiates.First aid the kids make sure they ain't dead.then >Remove elven kebabMaybe punt them in the head as we check on the kids so they stay down.
>>38975226>>Remove elven kebab> Write-in"Now, can we talk like reasonable people or..." Shrug and keep an eye out for aggression.
>>38975226Finish off the elf with testicular torsion, keep the druid around for "interrogation".
>>38975375I'm confused. I thought the druid was the only elf left. Then again I'm really not sober.
>>38975226>Check on initiatesSpecifically the bleeding one
>>38975226>Gag that Druid>Check up on the initiates
Alright, there seems to be some mixed up ideas here, do we remove all elf kebabs, or do you leches have something different in mind for the druid?
>>38975517Capture the mage. Gag, tie up, and kill the rest.
>>38975517REMOVE ALL KEBAB.
>>38975517Interrogate druid. We need to know about any other scum in the area.
>>38975517Information is the key to removing more kebabs later, lets keep the druid
>>38975517Interrogate the druid. Sensually.
Do we know what our actual objective is? I am the anon who cannot read the second half of a sentence, so if it was stated somewhere just point me to it.
>>38975643rescue the initiates who fucked things upwhat things they fucked up are anyones guess
>>38975643Pretty sure it's just "remove kebab"
>>38975675nope, go read the first few posts
>>38975695Smash and grab. Never said WHAT we were smashing.
>>38975744nope, we're here to watch over the initiates and rescue them from whatever it is they fucked up
The initiates can wait, and I figure that big one isn’t getting any deader. The elves on the other hand, might try some sneaky shit. I begin to bounce the bat against my hand, walking slowly towards the elf whose nards I obliterated. “It’s a real pity,” I begin, footsteps echoing around the otherwise silent warehouse. “This wasn’t supposed to be anything too crazy. Just a simple smash and grab. Hell, not even the grab part necessarily.”I sigh, standing over the testicularly torsioned elf. “Really just a simple job to see if they had what it takes. Now the biggun is probably dead and I had to get involved,” I reach into my jacket for my e-cig. My fingers rest upon it for a second, then suddenly I paw at the plastic tube frantically. Or should I say tubes. I look upon my broken e-cig, absolutely devastated. “And on of a bitch, you fucks broke my goddamn e-cig.”The druid in the back snorts derisively. I smash the elf in front of me with a sudden, vicious fury that surprises even myself. I doubt it killed him, but he’ll probably be down a few IQ points once he wakes up. Being unconscious for extended periods of time is NOT good for you. I storm over to the door elf and deliver the same treatment. “Goddamn bullshit making my life more complicated than it needs to be,” I snarl, rounding on the last elf. “Just a simple initiation run anyway. Intel said this place was supposed to be wide open. Just some tiny little chop shop with a few dumbass knife ears cutting up cars. Why the fuck were you,” I gesticulate at the druid with my bat, “And that lardass,” the ogre’s corpse, “Here at all?”
>>38975517That druid now works for us, this has been a hostile asset takeover.
>>38975760Yeah, but it was inevitable they'd fuck up, and at that point we do... Well, what we just did.
The druid grins up at you, her smile bloody in both a literal and figurative sense. “T’would be a shame indeed,” she spits out some dark blood onto the floor, “To be Liable for such an incident.”My heart stops a little. Trap.TK15 knows.But was this it, or did I just escape the mousetrap only to trip the bear trap?Regardless of the current situation, I clock the elf on the head. She goes down, but not for long.I seize and angle grinder off of a nearby table and hurry over to martini and the other initiates. The tool cuts through the ropes remarkably swiftly. Fatty and Martini fall away from each other and scurry away, eye wide with fear. Martini speaks up first. “Is-is Park dead?”I have already rolled the large asian kid over, hand on his neck. Pulse is faint. Can’t tell if fading or not. Not much time. I glance over at fatty. Shoulder is almost certainly broken.>It’s one or the other questers. Bring the elf druid for interrogation, or the probably dying initiate. You can run the risk of doubling back, but you’ll be doing it alone, Martini won’t follow you back once he’s out of the warehouse.>Initiate>Druid
>>38975760I assume we also have to make sure, that whatever the initiates were supposed to smash and grab gets properly smashed and grabbed
>>38975795>Other"Martini, as the most conscious one here, you're responsible for Park living through this mess, you can carry him."Meanwhile we drag the druid out
>>38975795>>InitiateGoddammit, never leave a man behind. Dirty fuckin' knife ears.
>>38975795Why not tell martini to grab the knife-ears? Fuckers are light.
>>38975795>DruidWe need to know what they know, we can come back for Park is the others can't carry/drag him. Though we should grab our revolver when we get to our car, in case we need to defend ourselves or finish Park off so they don't get him.
>>38975795>>38975819thisMartini, you better not also fuck this up.
>>38975795We take Park , Martini takes knife ears. Make it clear we want her healthy for interrogation.
>initiateFuck off guys, you don't leave a man behind just because of your waifu bullshit.
>>38975819Park seems heavier, so we carry him. And whoever carries the druid is the most likely target for the first strike, if there's a suprise attack. Better the traitorous coward than us.
>>38975819 hereIf Park is to fat for Martini's useless ass then he can carry the Druid while we get Park out, we've only got our melee weapons so we're kind of useless anyway right now in terms of defending ourselves if need be.
Rolled 6, 8, 9, 7, 4, 10 = 44 (6d10)Seems we are casting the dice and trying for both.I'll need some rolls. Let's say three since Park is a heavy fucker.And to avoid maximum butt flusteration, I'll roll for Martini right now.
>>38975795>InitiateBros before hoes. Just kill the fucking Druid real quick, so we can limit the liability we face for said situation.>>38975819But we should at least try to get fatty and martini to deal with the initiate first.
Rolled 2, 6, 5 = 13 (3d10)>>38975953
Rolled 7, 4, 8 = 19 (3d10)>>38975953Martini rolled well for once in his useless life
>>38975795>InitiateI'd rather we just off the elf and book it. I don't want to leave anything else for Martini over there to fuck up, especially with trying to carry the druid.
Rolled 8, 7, 6 = 21 (3d10)>>38975953Let's do.
>>38975942>waifu bullshit.I can't speak for the other guys, but my motivation is that somebody fucked us and the druid knows who did it. Leaving her is just plain carelessness.
Do we execute Martini after? He was about to talk after all.
>>38976057>waifu bullshit.Tbh i think the other anons are more along the lines of "Rape bullshit"
>>38976067We should bring him back and let the boss decide his fate.
>>38976067But he didn't, I say tell the boss and let him decide.>>38976080>>38976057I was more in ths oh shit she knows. Take her back and torture her until she caves like she and her chucklefucks did to our boys.
>>38976080Or how about she knows what the fuck is going on and we don't? We need to figure out what the fuck TK15 know and how our guys fell into a trap like this and what it means for our organisation.Stop being That Guy of the /tg/ metagaming 'elf rape wat do' flavor.
>>38976153>Stop being That Guy of the /tg/ metagaming 'elf rape wat do' flavor.Actually he is right, comments of that nature were made. Though I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was a joke.
So what do we actually look like? Pic related? Sorry if it's already been posted what we look like
>>38976239it hasn't been said yet, and jesus that guy looks like he was beaten with a bat that had an extra-ugly rune on it
>>38976239Jesus Christ, what happened to his fucking face?
>>38976260>>38976272Eh best i could find short notice
>>38976260Forget the ugly stick, he got the whole bloody tree.
>>38976283Your best clearly wasn't good enough. I mean god damn it that guy isn't even wearing a suit.
>>38976239Not fancy enough
>>38976349...I can agree to us looking like that
>>38976349eh, much better clothes but we ain't a dirty yak
>>38976239I thought we looked like this because of the OP image.
>>38976349This is now my headcanon no matter what OP says>>38976386Racist much?
I grit my teeth, eyes squeezed shut and mind working furiously. Risk assessments risk assessments… Normally I’m not one to take stupid chances, especially when there is a real risk of some fuckers in Escalades driving up and giving me a nice new orifice or fifty to smoke out of, But having an initiate die on my watch and losing potentially valuable intel isn’t a binary I’m happy to accept. I point at Martini. “Alright. You, duct tape on shelf. Druid’s hands, feet, mouth a necessity. I’ll take Park. Fatty,” you toss Fatty the keys and you bat, “Get to car. start it then get ass into back. MOVE.”The initiates comply instantly, I make a mental note to include that in my report of this clusterfuck. I hurry over to Park’s prone form and heft the guy up. It’s a two handed job. He’s definitely gonna be short some IQ points when he wakes up. My lip curling with distaste as blood spreads across my nice jacket, I begin to drag the initiate out of the warehouse and towards the salvation that is a silver Honda Accord.It really isn’t that long a walk, but when you have an easy 200 pounds if not more of human flesh on one shoulder, things tend to stretch out. I slog forward, the fatigue of the fight catching up to me in a big way. My breath is coming in short borderline asthmatic bursts, not nearly enough O2 to reach my lungs. I hear footsteps and glance behind me to see Martini pass me, knife ears on his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “Trunk,” I wheeze, “Get her in trunk.”
>>38976349That is still missing a tie.
I don’t bother to check if he heard. I’m too damned focused on hauling this gigantic assshole to safety. Really feeling that wallop to ogre got on me now the adrenaline wore off.I eventually round the corner to see my chariot waiting. Martini jogs back and helps me move Park the last few dozen yards. We slide him into the back of the car. Martini goes back with him while fatty takes shotgun. Wheezing, I collapse into the driver’s seat.We need to leave, now.>Head to the Lieutenant. I’m tired of all this executive authority. Time to return it to the person who sent us out here in the first place. Better medical facilities than most gang headquarters but still not the best.>Head to Uncle Frank’s tattoo parlor. He’s my associate, not with Limited Liability at least any more. Might want to go to him first if shit’s really whack.>Head to the Nursery, America’s only combination brothel and underground medical clinic. Madame Doctor Cutter will almost certainly not appreciate me dumping this Limited Liability mess on her theoretically neutral ground.>Head to hospital. I’ve always wanted to experience to wonders of the American prison system.
>>38976396how is it racist? he's a yakuza, simple statement, you can piss of back to tumblr with your sjw crap
>>38976433Oh.Thought it was a slang word for japs.My bad>>38976429>Head to the Lieutenant. I’m tired of all this executive authority. Time to return it to the person who sent us out here in the first place. Better medical facilities than most gang headquarters but still not the best.
>>38976463No, if I wanted to use slang for japs I'd say nips or slant eyes.>>38976429>>Head to the Nursery, America’s only combination brothel and underground medical clinic. Madame Doctor Cutter will almost certainly not appreciate me dumping this Limited Liability mess on her theoretically neutral ground.
>>38976390Works for me
>>38976477Okay again my bad, Sorry
>>38976496No worries anon
>>38976429>Head to the Lieutenant. I’m tired of all this executive authority. Time to return it to the person who sent us out here in the first place. Better medical facilities than most gang headquarters but still not the best.
>>38976429>>Head to the Nursery, America’s only combination brothel and underground medical clinic. Madame Doctor Cutter will almost certainly not appreciate me dumping this Limited Liability mess on her theoretically neutral ground.The only place where you can get a physical and a blowjob.
>>38976526the initiates get the medical care, and we get the bj hopefully from druidfu
>>38976429>>Head to the Nursery, America’s only combination brothel and underground medical clinic. Madame Doctor Cutter will almost certainly not appreciate me dumping this Limited Liability mess on her theoretically neutral ground.I assume this is the best chance Park's got.
>>38976547The druid isn't waifu material. Yet.She is just a source of information and a huge liability. A sexy liability.
>>38976429>>Head to the Lieutenant. I’m tired of all this executive authority. Time to return it to the person who sent us out here in the first place. Better medical facilities than most gang headquarters but still not the best.
>>38976429>Head to the Lieutenant. I’m tired of all this executive authority. Time to return it to the person who sent us out here in the first place. Better medical facilities than most gang headquarters but still not the best.>>38976547>>38976583you guys are joking....right?
>>38976606This is tg so I doubt it. I really wish they were though.
>>38976606For now? Yes, later though? Depends on how things progress.
>>38976628Well your wrong, and OP gets a different kind of player in his quests.
>>38976583If we really need an elf druid waifu, can we just try looking for one in the obligatory magical night club? Because whatever we pick up cannot be as bad, as a woman actively tried fucking us over and not in the good way. Unless it's magical aids, I sure hope we don't pick up magical aids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz8NDWopZyUCan we get this as an boss encounter later on?
>>38976647That's why I voted to go to the Nursery, the druid is only good enough for interrogation and information currently
>>38976429>>Head to the Nursery, America’s only combination brothel and underground medical clinic. Madame Doctor Cutter will almost certainly not appreciate me dumping this Limited Liability mess on her theoretically neutral ground.Need to patch up Intiate Beef McSlab
>>38976606>you guys are joking....right?I was mostly joking about the elf.Only playing along because this isn't a serious quest.
It doesn’t take long to make up my mind. Way I figure, there’s a halfway decent chance that Madame Doctor Cutter would kick my ass to the curb if I brought in an LL initiate who got injured on an initiation task that ended with me killing or maiming the majority of the TK15 members present and tossing the last one in my trunk. Pretty sure she stopped being bound by the Hippocratic oath round about the same time she lost her medical license. Uncle Frank’sd be nice to lay low, but a tattoo parlor will not have the supplies on hand to deal with Park.That leaves the Lieutenant. I groan a bit, but start driving forward anyway, leaving the headlights off and keeping well beneath the speed limit. About four blocks away from the warehouse, at an intersection, three SUVs painted in green and yellow speed by. The TK15 squad totally fails to notice the Accord, barrelling down the street and turning right in a cloud of tire smoke. I accelerate to top speed gently, making sure I don’t make any more noise than I can possibly manage. However, it’s not long until I’m speeding away from the scene. I pull onto a highway ramp, flick on my lights, and slow down to the speed of traffic. Even miles away, my mind still thinks it can hear gunshots.
>>38976821That elf is good for fucking, don't let it go to wast. Could always be part of the... interrogation.
I eventually pull off at exit 333-C. Nearly to our local Limited Liability office. The Lieutenant isn’t in charge of the LL outfit in Sainstburgh, that honor goes to the Boss. The Lieutenant is one of several of the Boss’ second in commands, in charge of operations in south eastern Saintsburgh, also known as Industry Fields. It’s a shit rap, and one the Lieutenant and I as the second in command would like to get reassigned from. A whole lot of criminal elements, and very few chances for real money. Much of the Saintsburgh outfit considers us charity cases, those bums who take out more money from the city wide fund than we put in. I grit my teeth and squeeze the steering wheel as we pull in front of the entrance to an underground parking garage beneath a non descript four story office building. Our local headquarters. I roll down the window and press the intercom. A staticy voice speaks up. “Hello sir. Did you enjoy your service?”“The teller knocked my pen while I was signing,” I reply, confirming your identity. I wait a beat before speaking again. “I’m back with the new blood, and a lot of it’s been spilled on the upholstery. Also have hot potato.”There is a brief pause. “Shit.”The garage door opens and I pull inside to a parking spot near a large pair of elevator doors. I barely have time to stop the car when the doors on the right slide open and two Associates walk out, carrying a stretcher. Martini and I help put Parker in it, and I gesture and tell fatty to follow them to get his shoulder examined. Martini looks after them longingly.>”No. I need at least one of you for the report. You have a job.” [Cold]>”Not yet. We have to make the report, then you can see them.” [Dutiful]>”Go ahead. I’ll deal with the report.” [Kind]>”Do whatever you want. I don’t need you right now.” [Indifferent]
>>38977065>”Not yet. We have to make the report, then you can see them.” [Dutiful]
>>38977065>>”Not yet. We have to make the report, then you can see them.” [Dutiful]
>>38977065>”No. I need at least one of you for the report. You have a job.” [Cold]
>>38977065>>>”No. I need at least one of you for the report. You have a job.” [Cold]
>>38977065>>”Go ahead. I’ll deal with the report.” [Kind]
>>38977065>>”Not yet. We have to make the report, then you can see them.” [Dutiful]Also, did we just refer to the elf as an hot potato? This shall be her name henceforth.
I shake my head at Martini’s unspoken question. The way it’s supposed to go, all the initiates on assignment must make their report to the Lieutenant. Then the Lieutenant and Associate who went with them make the call. It’s expected all are present. Hell, I figure Uncle Frank would’ve probably hauled the fatty and Park along to the Lieutenant’s office himself. I’m not Uncle Frank though.I place a hand on Martini’s shoulder and squeeze a little too hard for it to be a kind gesture and steer him into the elevator. I thumb the button for the fourth floor, hand clamped on his shoulder. Eventually the elevator dings and the doors slide open. I push Martini out of the elevator and guide him to a waiting room. I nod at the guard, and he presses a finger to a bluetooth in his ear. He nods a few times before looking up at you. “Enforcer. The Lieutenant will see you now.”I nod, and lead Martini into the office. The Lieutenant’s office is lit with red tinted lights. This isn’t the office’s normal state, but the Lieutenant does this when people are bothering her with business when she would rather be asleep. The red light turns what would otherwise be a depressingly banal office into an ominous cave, with weird and distorted shadows spreading out across the room. The Lieutenant is sitting in a large chair, facing away from us and out, towards the city. The Skyline glimmers in the distance, towering lights against the inky sky. “Sit down Christian Martinez. Enforcer Reinhardt, remain standing,” her voice trails away into silence like a snake slipping into a den. “Mr. Martinez now that you are seated, please tell me. Where are the other members of your initiation group?” The Lieutenant does not turn around.>Speak for the kid>Let the kid talk
>>38977424>Let the kid talk
>>38977424>>Let the kid talk
>>38977424>Speak for the kidAlso mention the fact that the two others are injured, but he's the one who was about to tell them everything. Bet he was the one who let the info out too. Snitches get stitches and shit.
>>38977424Mfw the Lt's actually an Oni.....Pic related hopefully....
>>38977424>>Let the kid talkLet the pasta hit the floor
The anticipation is killing me
I’ve violated enough tradition that day by coming back with a full initiation group and only having one of them report. The Lieutenant implicitly trusts me, both as her Enforcer and as a long time comrade. It let’s be duck some protocol. Still, best to not disrespect the rites too much.Martini swallows and looks around. I look down at him and nod, otherwise saying nothing. “L-l-lieutenant,” he stammers, “Mr. Park and Mr. Sandin are currently receiving urgent medical care. Enforcer Reinhardt made the decision to put them both in for medical care.”I groan internally. The kid isn’t lying, not by a long shot, but that’s still gonna be another pile of shit on my plate. The Lieutenant speaks, her voice betraying nothing. “Very well. Mr. Martinez, how did Mr.s Park and Sandin arrive in such a state, to so urgently require medical attention?”Martini knows she’s asking for a report. He stands up a bit straighter, despite the chair still being turned. Good call kid, I think, I don’t know how she knows that sort of shit, but she does. “Lieutenant! Earlier tonight, Mr.s Park, Sandin, and myself left with Enforcer Reinhardt to attack a chop shop set up by the criminal organization TK15 in our territory” (It’s a bit of a stretch to call Witten Park our territory, but no one corrects him) “Our goals were to damage establishment inventory such as equipment and stolen vehicles, and to injure any TK15 members who might be present on the premises.”
Martini continues, “After taking what we believed were appropriate cautionary measures, we entered the chop shop through the front door, armed with baseball bats and in the case of Mr. Sandin a steel crowbar. All three of us had fully ingressed when a fifth elf struck Mr. Sandin from behind with a wrench. The local TK15 members seemed to be expecting our presence, and we engaged them. After several minutes of combat we were all disarmed and retrained in the center of the shop floor. At this point an Ogre appeared from a back room, bearing a massive wrench and began to interrogate us. He started with Mr. Park and dealt him multiple grievous blows when he refused to answer his questions.”“The Ogre refused to answer his own questions,” asks the Lieutenant, not a trace of amusement in her voice. “This is unusual.”Martini glances up at me and gulps down nervous laughter. “No Lieutenant, my apologies Lieutenant! Mr. Park refused to answer to Ogre’s questions, and for that he was beaten.”
You see the chair shift back almost imperceptibly. “And I suppose a similar fate befell Mr. Sandin.”Martini confirms, but with the caveat that I had arrived before Sandin had received a similar treatment.“I see. I am to assume then, that Enforcer Reinhardt was the one responsible for your liberation?”Martini conveys what happened after your arrival, punctuated by precise questions from the Lieutenant. After a while, the Lieutenant holds up a hand. Probably the first part of her the kid has ever seen. “I have heard enough Mr. Martini. You are dismissed. Enforcer Reinhardt, please sit down.”Martini looks so relieved that he fails to notice the Lieutenant called him by his nickname. He hurries out of the room. The door slams shut behind him and you eye the back of the Lieutenant's chair.>Sit down at attention. Await further address. [Obedient]>Take a seat. “So, what are your thoughts on TK15?” [Direct]>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]>Write In
>>38978049>“The Ogre refused to answer his own questions,” asks the Lieutenant, not a trace of amusement in her voice. “This is unusual.”I like this Lt! She's a smartass i see!
>>38978062>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]
>>38978062>Take a seat. “So, what are your thoughts on TK15?” [Direct]pull thisJesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” out alter after we deal with business.
>>38978062>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]Fuck it.Let's do this
>>38978062>>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]I see them being close friends, Lt. and the Enforcer.
>>38978062>>Take a seat. “So, what are your thoughts on TK15?” [Direct]>Self-diagnose injuries/blood. Try not to stain the chair.
>>38978062>Take a seat. “So, what are your thoughts on TK15?” [Direct]
>>38978062>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]”And zero fucks were given
>>38978062>>Take a seat, rest boots on desk. “Jesus boss. Was the kid that fun to mess around with?” [Familiar, perhaps even Impertinently so]
I practically deflate, shoulders and back relaxing into their typical slouch. I collapse into the seat in front of the desk and kick my legs up, boot resting on the cheap as shit particle board. “Jesus boss,” I sigh, scratching at the inside of one ear. “Was the kid that fun to mess with?”The Lieutenant’s chair turns around. She’s grinning, canines pointing past her upper lip. “Actually yes. First time I’ve been on the receiving end of an initiation report. After what Boss Coltrane did to us, I suppose that it’s pretty much par for the course.”I snort, recalling with a fondness aged from fear the time I gave my first report. I only realized later that Boss Coltrane was calling on us in turn so that my baritone, the Lieutenant's mezzo-soprano, and Genning’s gnomish countertenor composed some adhoc tritone intervals. “Well, you’re definitely not at Coltrane’s level yet, but practice make perfect, yeah?”The Lieutenant giggles a bit before she notices my boots. “Goddammit Jason. Get your club like feet off of my desk you neanderthal.”I comply, sweeping them onto the floor. “Get a desk that isn’t freshly harvested from the Great Ikea Jungle and then we’ll talk.”The Lieutenant and I chortle for a bit before sliding into a more somber attitude. The Lieutenant sips from a large mug of coffee. “So. Hot potato, or the initiates?”>Hot Potato>Initiates>write in
>>38978442>Hot Potatourgent concerns, the initiates need time to heal up anyway
>>38978442>InitiatesSo what exactly does the Lt and Jason Reinhardt look like?
>>38978442>InitiatesGood news, bad news.
>>38978442>Hot Potato >"What happened in there can wait a bit, they won't be going out for a while. I think we need to talk about the little lost duckling I have bound, gagged and locked in my trunk"
>>38978442>>Hot PotatoSounds a bit more pressing
>>38978491I'll get around to describing the Lieutenant when the time comes around.I usually leave the MCs up to the player's imaginations. Since they're usually action protagonists they're fit more often than not. That's really it in terms of definite descriptors.
>>38978551Okay.Thanks for answering
“The initiates aren’t going anywhere,” I reply “But I’ve got a little lost duckling bound and gagged in my trunk.”The Lieutenant groans. “Ever the gentleman Jason. Ever the gentleman.”I shrug. “Damn knife ears tried to turn some potted plants into I don’t know what the hell. Was taking her forever and a half though. I don’t think we’ll need to bust out the silver sealing circle for this one. That one we’ve got rigged up in cubicle B-34 should be fine.”“What the one spray painted on office carpet,” asks Lieutenant, cocking an eyebrow. “You must not hold her in high regard.”I shake my head. “She had a good ten, twenty seconds even to complete the rite. Still needs to git gud.”Lieutenant sighs and rubs her temples. “So why exactly did you decide to abduct her then if she’s a trash mage?”>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.>We’re still short a mage ever since Gorgorgux kicked the bucket. Frankly I think a nice elvish druid is better than a senile goblin pyromancer, don’t you?>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.>Write in
>>38978808>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808>We’re still short a mage ever since Gorgorgux kicked the bucket. Frankly I think a nice elvish druid is better than a senile goblin pyromancer, don’t you?>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.>But seriously>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808>>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.Then immediately>But seriously she knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808Jokingly>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.Then>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808>She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.>We’re still short a mage ever since Gorgorgux kicked the bucket. Frankly I think a nice elvish druid is better than a senile goblin pyromancer, don’t you?
>>38978808>>38978866>>38978879Something like this
>>38978808>>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.
>>38978808Whatever we say, her little "T'would be a shame indeed to be Liable for such an incident" should be mentioned
>>38978808>>We’re still short a mage ever since Gorgorgux kicked the bucket. Frankly I think a nice elvish druid is better than a senile goblin pyromancer, don’t you?
>>38978808>>Because I wanted to curl her hair into drills, dress her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.>>But seriously she knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop were and that we were gonna hit them.
>>38978808>all of them
>>38978993we should make lots of Liability jokes and puns when around her
>>38978893>>38979125Yes because it's obviously a good idea to recruit the mage who's friends and coworker's you just killed and who tried to kill you.Surely they won't stab us in the back at the first opportunity! Right guys!Stop thinking with your damn dicks anon's.I'd rather not have our body found in a ditch with multiple stab wounds
>>38979234Good point unless we know someone who specializes in brainwashing recruitment is a bad idea
I lean back in my chair, pressing my boots against the front of the desk, pushing the front two legs off of the floor. “Because,” you say with an entirely straight face, “I want to curl her hair into drills, put her in a schoolgirl outfit, and induct her into my harem of waifus.”The Lieutenant blinks. She blinks again. Then suddenly with a burst of derisive laughter her blank expression transforms into into a sneer. “Fucking hair drills. What shittier taste.”I hold onto my poker face for a few seconds, but eventually have to give in. I snort and let myself fall back onto all four legs. “No, but seriously. She knew about the ambush. Which means that TK15 knew we were going to hit them. I’d like to know if she knows how TK15 knew that we knew where their chop shop was and that we were gonna hit them.”The Lieutenant’s derisive smirk does not fade. “Oh good. So that’s why. I was worried my darling underling was some sort of shit sucking plebe.”I wait for the Lieutenant to get it out of her system. Eventually her expression slips back into sobriety. “So,” she says, “Planning to interrogate her? Good. TK15 isn’t known for their intelligence or planning skills. I find it more than a little worrisome they almost succeeded in getting the drop on our initiates.”
>>38979304or maybe we can learn more about how we would recruit her services before going of half cockedwho knows, maybe we have devices or things to keep her in control, or maybe we don't even need those and have other means of persuading her
“Do you think they were after the initiates though,” I ask, crossing my hands on my lap.The Lieutenant shakes her head. “No. I’m positive they wanted to take out you or whichever senior Associate was watching over the initiation.”“Still, kind of odd they’d go after little ol’ me. I’m what, an enforcer for, no offense here, the smallest part of the Saintburgh outfit? Makes no sense.”The Lieutenant sighs miserably. She hate being reminded of the podunk job assignment she got from Coltrane. She doesn’t say it much, but she’s grateful I tagged along with her. Even took the Enforcer’s vow to stop any potential opposition. “They probably want to start off small. With what they can easily handle.”>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]>”Well, we’re only going to stay small if we don’t take on new blood. The initiates.” [Change Topic]>Write In
>>38979344>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]
>>38979344>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]Equal parts determined and encouraging
>>38979344>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]>”Well, we’re only going to stay small if we don’t take on new blood. The initiates and the Mage” [Change Topic]We are apparently lacking a mage, lets see what we can do on that front before discounting the possibility.
>>38979344>>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]We're gonna be the best, like no one ever was.
>>38979344>>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]
>>38979344>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]
>>38979344>>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]>>38979321>other means of persuading herIf you mean your penis I will punch you.I don't know how, but I will.
>>38979472I don't mean that, I mean things like gainful employment with the best mob on the block, decent pay, good benefits and dental etc
>>38979344>”Yeah well, we’ll fucking show them what a mistake that was.” [Determined]>”C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.” [Encouraging]>>38979382>>38979450Read>>38979234
>>38979499I already read it you idiot, that post assumes way to many things and doesn't even bother attempting to investigate the idea of considering it.
I sigh, readying my usual response to this line of conversation “C’mon. The Chief even said you were one of the best he’d seen. Coltrane just gave you this district cause he thought you could change course.”The Lieutenant simply smiles sadly and shakes her head. This is a conversation us two have shared several times over the years. She knows there’s no point in repeating it for the umpteenth time, but I still say my part. It’s part of my duty as her sole Enforcer. Eventually her eyes refocus. “Regardless of my neuroses or your pigheadedness we still have actual business to discuss. The initiates. What are your thoughts on them?”>What are your impression of the initiates?>Generally good, bad? Anything stand out to you?
>>38979614Credit Parker and Fatty, they didn't talk, Martini did as he was ordered readily enough once we got there, but he was about talk before we busted in, which is something that needs to be dealt with.
>>38979614Martini needs to get some balls, fatty needs to get in shape, The other guys needs to know when to keep his mouth shut and not antagonize ogres.
>>38979614>They were disorganized and cracked pretty easily but that's not too surprising given how green they are and the situation, still they managed to function pretty well so long as I was around to give instructions
Right, Next update will be the last one for tonight. I'm getting tired. Next thread on Monday. I'll still be lurking ITT afterwards if you have any questions.I think I'll be using archive.moe as my primary archiving source. So don't worry about that.
>>38979614Martini could be a good operator, kept his head about him when things hit the fan. They are all loyal, but green. We need more like them, but need to train them up right.
>>38979698Well too bad, I'll archive the thread for you anyway!
>>38979698Twitter? So that we can hound at you if you don't get the second thread up....
>>38979701>>38979670Oh yeah that's right. Be sure to include that.>>38979614
>>38979614Their performance wasn't too impressiv, but then again the deck was stacked against them to a ridiculous degree.
>>38979614>Big guy did good.Even after getting beaten to near death he didn't snitch.Same with fatty.Martini however has right bout to snitch before i arrived.And as you know snitches get stichs
I tisk my tongue. “Really comes down to how charitable I’m feeling. Park and Sandin didn’t break under duress, which is an excellent sign considering they haven’t even taken the Associate’s oath. Martini broke. Or was about to anyway. Granted, ogres with tank wrenches aren’t exactly first day on the job material, but that’s still concerning. Still, both Martini and Sandin followed orders under stress, so that’s good. Park, I don’t know but he wasn’t in much of a condition for anything at all.”The Lieutenant nibbles at her thumb. “Yes, the ogre was certainly a factor. But I found it disturbing, it sounded as though they lost to a group of elves before the ogre even appeared. I don’t like that.”I sigh, staring tiredly up at the ceiling. “If the elves got them surrounded and they panicked… maybe. It certainly wasn’t an impressive performance regardless. They clearly can’t be left to their own devices yet.”The Lieutenant remains silent for a bit, thinking. My head remains tilted up at the ceiling, but I glance down at the Lieutenant, waiting for her decision. After a while she nods, more to herself than anyone else. “I think they are ready to be inducted as full Associates. Break them up among more senior groups so they can get some experience.”I stand up and nod, trying to stifle a yawn. “Sure boss. Anything else?”The Lieutenant waves her hand. “Get some sleep, I know I am. G’night.”I walk towards the door, taking care to turn around before opening it. “Night boss.”
>>38979709I've taken note of your impertinence anon!>>38979715https://twitter.com/DickishDead
>>38979947So what do we do with the mage? We going to pump her for intel and then offer her a job?Thanks for the thread.
>>38979982You don't have the authority to offer her a job. That's a decision between your Lieutenant and Boss Coltrane, who's in charge of all Limited Liability Operations in Saintsburgh. You testimony will obviously be considered if you spend significant time around her. Mages are serious business, especially ones that were abducted.
>>38979982>and then offer her a job?Oh for gods sake give it a rest.You've lost a whole three votes already
>>38979947Thanks for running, How were our assessments?
>>38980063not really, two of those it wasn't 'lost', and there was plenty of support for proposing and considering the idea at least.
Thanks for running FG, threads archived:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Extranatural%20Enforcer%20Quest
Thanks for running.This quest is definitely more fun than ECQ. And I am saying that as someone who genuinely liked it.
>>38980086The last two vote's had only two supporting the idea.I'm sorry if i seem rude but it pisses me off when people want to try and recruit the person who tried to kill us and who we've probably killed their friends and coworkers.It seems like people are only thinking of waifuing and thinking with their dicks.Atleast that's the way it seems to me
>>38980229We have to interrogate her first, and mages are very serious business, we've cost her her job, if she's amenable and useful, why not get her working for us?
>>38980074They were pretty good on the whole. Park is easily the most qualified for the position, being both strong and loyal. Sandin and Martini were perhaps less so but still acceptable.>>38980112thanks bruv>>38980211Awesome. EEQ hits up my stronger points as a QM so I'm glad to hear it.
>>38980260Sadly can't continue this conversation.Got to get sleep for work.I only ask that you think of the pros and cons of recruiting someone who was hostile to us and might still be hostile is all.Seeya
>>38980276>stronghe's kind of nearly dead though...
>>38980276Thanks for running! It's good to see you in the QM saddle, You poor bastard. I can't wait to see more of this setting.