Brave hero! Or person! Or whatever you are. You have decided to rise above all others and become a great hero, or destroy the world, or score some bitches or whatever. Regardless, you can do it!But first, you need a name.>WHAT IS YOUR NAME??>WHAT IS YOUR NAME??
>>38853946Nah, let's not piss on the abandoneer.He's clearly called Darb.
My name is "What is your name?"
Put quest in the subject line
>>38853924What happened to the last QQ? I never saw the end
>>38853946WHAT A MAGICAL NAME. REAL FUCKIN COOL.Anyways. Now that you've got a name, Brad, what is your class? Are you a long dead lich? An all powerful sorcerer? A brave swordsman?Or something cool?>WHAT IS YOUR CLASS?
>>38854064We got arrested.
>>38854090Brad, the Barbarian!
>>38854090>>WHAT IS YOUR CLASS?upper middle
>>38854119..... I kinda wanna change my vote from >>38854114 to back yours.
master propane salesman
>>38854143The Pleasant Pheasant Peasant.
>>38854148Can we also change our name to Dave Cock?
>>38854090Brad the super normal rouge
>>38854090Oh or Elf.
You're so elfy that Elf is also your class.
>>38854090Brad, the Magical Tap Dancing Berseker
>>38854090Professional Faggot and Cockswain Extraordinaire
>>38854134is this a huntress that is australian or a huntress that hunts australians
>>38854090>>38854114>>38854115Thirding for barbarian brad
>>38853924Greg, the over achieving black guy.
>>38854090Babarian Propane Salesman.
>>38854316WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER!!!!!
Jesus, look at these beauties. So sexy.
>>38854114I LOVE IT.
>>38854301>>38854148>>38854115>>38854114WOAH! Look how Barbaric you are. And all that masculine hair! And a loincloth! You ooze primal instinct and untapped rage!
>>38854407Your shoulder popped out of it's socket...
>>38854407>He's a total wimp though
>>38854407FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY
>>38854280huntress that's an aussie
>>38854407But alas! You seem to be without weapon! Every Barbarian needs a weapon! But do YOU??The world is your oyster. Your sweet, raw oyster. WHAT DO YOU DO FIRST?!Well?>What do you do??
>>38854407Let's be a woman barbara ann!
>>38854341what has this got to do with quest quest anon
>>38854455No we don't. Just punch things.
>>38854455Choose the nearest weapon-like object. That is now our weapon.
>>38854407Now we need a quest!We are a single dad trying to get our daughter invited to a princess's tea party?
>>38854455A big bone that you can club things with.
>>38854455>Massage our breasts to where they get bigger
>>38854436wait wait waitwhy not bothwell not both because we have already decided on barbarian but still
>>38854455punch things until we acquire a weapon
>>38854455A HUGE FREAKING AXE!
>>38854455Tea pot! We need a battle teapot
>>38854455Your fists are the only weapons you need.
>>38854502Lady Barbarian Aussie?
>>38854455a small pointy stickand a massive stick as a backupall our weapons will be things we snap off a tree with our mighty barbarian strength
rape guinea pigs. its not rape if its a guinea pig
>>38854455Go into town and acquire a weapon, preferably an axe.Until then, we shall punch the shit out of things.
>>38854545we will snap off curvy sticks to strangle people with
>>38854455MANIFEST YOUR RAGE INTO A SUITABLE ARMAMENTMETAL IS FOR WEAKLINGS
>>38854455Check out that tavern over there.
>>38854455>>38854407That's not how a barbarian should look.
>>38854621Alright. That's metal enough for me to support.
>>38854455A bucket of piss
>>38854455Go fuck wrestle a bear or attack some civilized imperium.I dunno, what does a barbarian really do, what defines the barbarian?
>>38854481>"Weapons for sale!"You hear a voice sing out>"Very reasonably priced for these troubled times!"What luck! A weapons merchant is set up right over there! Maybe you could kindly ask him for his input??>WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>38854780Rip his head off and shove it up his ass!
>>38854649Martial artists are more triangular than rectangular, though.
>>38854780arm yourself with a tiny dog
>>38854780Pick up his stall and wield that.Captcha: allaaMuslim God wills it.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>38854780STEAL ALL THE WEAPONS.
>>38854780PUNCH THE BLUE FUCK, USE CORPSE AS WEAPON
>>38854780as an alternative to these>>38854545>>38854610tear a bit of wood off his stall to use as a weapon
>>38854780Buy a two handed axe
>>38854780he shall become our weapon
>>38854780Use the stall as a weapon.
>>38854780Sure, and take the chance to ask about quests.
>>38854780>Ask for his input on what weapon would be best suited for us
>>38854780Tear off the stall sign and use that as a weapon.
>>38854836ok i change my vote to these>>38854822>>38854849once the stall breaks apart from hitting stuff we will pick up the pieces and use them as weapons
>>38854780We terminator it up. Take a weapon and take his head off!
>>38854874Thank you for that picture.
>>38854780THIS STALL SHALL MAKE A SUITABLE WEAPON FOR US!
>>38854780Use the stall, or him, or both as weapon. RAAAGGGHHH.
>>38854817arm a dog with tiny yourself
>>38854892oh shit i change my vote again same thing but just the sign>>38854879
>>38854780Wield the merchant in one hand and his stall in the other.
>>38854937aww hell just strap it all to your back the stall the sign and man himselfno decent adventurer goes out without 3 different weaponsbut to start with dual wield the stall and man>>38854917
>>38854977what are you going on about anon
oh shit everybody stopped time to see what is chosen
>"Come get 'em! All freshly ma- Oh!"The man in the stall turns as he notices you
>>38855212>"Hey, little guy! What's up? Wanna buy some sharp and dangerous metal?"He says as he looks down to you.Looks like someone didn't drink their milk and eat their veggies as a kid.
ARM YOURSELF WITH MAGIC
>>38855235BRAD SMASH DILLWEED
>>38855235>>38854917>>38854951>>38854892>>38854849>>38854847>>38854822AND WITH A MIGHT GRUNT AND A SQUAT, YOU LIFT THE WHOLE STALL, MAN AND ALL, INTO THE AIR! Prompting a startled gasp from the merchant!>What do you do now?!
>>38855235Use him like a mace.
>>38855282This is now our weapon man included
>>38855282This is out weapon
>>38855282Strap it to our back.
>>38855282oh shit man and stall in one why did none of us think of that>go out and find a dungeon to clear with our new weaponbut find a wandering random encounter skeleton first smash that up
>>38855341No no no our first enemy should be a slime or giant rat
bro you dont want to fuck around with geese, those bitches are ferocious
>>38855398>>38855341How about a slime rat skeleton?
>>38855282Use our mighty store-hammer to crush rival businesses in the name of capitalism!Literally.We probably have a poor grasp of economics.
>>38855439fuck yes find a slime rat skeleton
>>38855432forgot my pic, sorry
>>38855439Skeleton riding a giant slime rat.
>>38854808>triangularWe aren't a martial artist though, just a huge bloke with a weapon, draw him accordingly at least.
Throw the merchant at the nearest person!!!! 1!!!1!
>>38855304>>38855319>>38855341>>38855454All these plans sound real fuckin' neat in your head, but your body is currently crying out in pain. Looks like you were a little too gung-ho in your endeavor. Try not to prolapse.
>>38855595Shake stand, pick up whatever falls out.
>>38855595Wield our manly odor.
>>38855595Drop the stall and get something to eat.
>>38855595Shit, guess we neglected leg day too often.Smash the stall into the ground and grab the sign as our new weapon.
>>38855595shit>gently place the stall down while bending at the knees to prevent back injury
>>38855595and your beard fell off I guess what the fuck>"Say, friend! You don't sound too hot. Wanna talk about it? Were you upset about the prices? They were pretty reasonable, I thought."He says, though the last bit sounds a little far away as you start to see little black spots in your vision.>WAT DO
>>38855595>Drop stall, get some food
>>38855650Set down stall say you were testing you manly strength.
>>38855650see>>38855646"no no the prices are fine i just got a stupid idea in my head?
>>38855650Our BO is our weapon! Thank the man for helping us find it.
>>38855650Grow another beard while chanting barbarian things then ask merchant if he has any bananas.
>>38855650well isnt he lovelydrop the stall as gently as we can and apologize
Throw puny man and puny store into puny building, yelling our barbaric war cry: "puny reasonable prices trigger meeeeeeee!"
>>38855650Ask the weapons salesman for some manly, strength-boosting food. Steak will do, medium rare.
>>38855650He is too nice.Be gentle as you lay him down and apologize.Ask if there is a way to compensate him for the trouble. Perhaps a quest of some sort?
>>38855650Ask him how we become magic girl
>>38855726>He is too nice.>Be gentle as you lay him down and apologize.>Ask if there is a way to compensate him for the trouble.>Perhaps some gentle barbarian loving?
>>38855650Steal his facial hair
>>38855595"I just lifted so hard my beard fell off. Please get help"
>>38855650"BRAD SORRY. WANT... AXE...-MACE."
>>38855595>>38855650YOLO! You only lifted once.
>>38855726With a mighty grunt, you set the booth and the man down, it making a heavy THUD as it hits the ground!
>>38855650It was then that brad realised that the store owner was oppressing him. This was what her had trained for, all those years with the SJWs had taught him how to deal with this. Brad throws the man with all his strength, yelling "stop oppressing me shitlord!"
>>38856000Out of breath, you awkwardly convey a semi-apology. WELL AT LEAST WE KNOW YOU'RE STRONG. That was fun.>What do you do now??brb pizza
>>38856034>brb PizzaCapital Idea, we shall find a pizzeria and obtain a used pizza paddle as a weapon!
>>38856034Eat your weight in meat.
>>38856034>Ask him for a big pizza cutter to cut foes with!
>>38856034Make love to the store owner. Sweaty, barbarian love.
>>38856034>purchase 1 of each type of weapon from himdont carry them all around though to much weight leave most of them at home once we get home we will lay out our weapons and choose which ones to bring on todays adventureas we get stronger we can start to bring more of them along
>>38856034I'll back >>38856084
>>38856084Yes, a pizza cutter sword.
>>38856023as much as that is irelevent to this thread that is a bit oddbut really take it to another thread
>>38856084>>38856147After all, we did nothing wrong.
>>38856034Just get a swordaxemace enchanted with fire and lightning.
>>38856086We can't rape the first store-owner we see, we'll get jail-time with the rest of those mongoloids.
>>38856233Then we shall rape everyone in the prison!
>>38856275how we will be behind bars we cant reach everyone
>>38856310But our giant barbarian Dick will
Buy/steal a bar mace off him for our weapon
>>38856310>HE'S IN JAILLLL>"Can we put him in another fuckin' cell please?">HE'LL HUMP THE BARS>"...oh my god!"
>>38856363>>38856347>>38856334>38856334>>38856301>>38856267>>38856261>>38856219>>38856206>>38856115>>38856023>all this shitpostinggb2 >>>/reddit/
>>38856261why doesnt anyone make a huff checkers rpg?
>>38856361We shall hump everything! Hump the ground, hump the building, hump the stores, hump the women, the men, the children, the elderly, the gays, the feminists, nothing shall escape our reign of humping! Never shall we be satisfied!
If we keep this up, we'll go past the bump limit.Let's not bugger the OP anymore, OK? He is a cool dude.
>>38856034>Pay him in sexual favors!>captcha: rildo
>>38856463Huff is too hardcore to even try and replicate any of his stunts
>>38856525Is there a problem with going past the bump limit?
is this porn? it's not, right? just weird
my name is HoshimitsuI am samurai level 17born in ancient world but teleported to futurehas merged with machine to become cyborg killer, don't fuck with me
Is OP kill?
>>38856730He's eating cheese.
>>38856334you would make a homophobic joke, shitlord
>>38856719Where can we ride the bike to? Who wronged you?
>>38856779wrong by the Hattori ninja clan, who are actually controlled by Demon lord named Nagahiri. Sent into the future to destroy the ninja clan in the modern day, who control much of the world like so called illuminati.we can go anywhere you like friend, as long as you ride bitch
>>38856084You try your best to explain to him this exotic weapon of I'Tali-An origin. It looks for a moment like he's never heard of such a device...
>>38856893OK, I'll bite, let's try to find the time travel machine so they cannot use it to go further than us!
>>38856915Compromise for the most badass weapon in his store.
>>38856915oh op is back awesome
>>38856915Then, a look of realization washes over his face. He goes to his booth and fumbles around until he pulls out a large piece of metal.>"You mean something like this??"He says as he holds a weapon, bladed on one end and with a large, spinning disk of sharp metal on the other.>IS THIS IT?
>>38856915Hump the truth out of him!
>>38854874>pork rembrandtsMy sides, every fucking time
>>38856984>IT IS! HOW MUCH IT COST!?!?!?
>>38856984close but it needs more spikes
>>38856984Ask if he can tie an axe or three to it.
>>38856984Take it from him, kill him with it and then hump the corpse
>>38856984Oh yeah, a weapon with 360-degree threat potential. Sounds like our weapon.
>>38856984DECK HIM AND STEAL IT
>>38856984yes buy it
>>38856984You know what this weapon needs to tie it together? Truck balls
>>38857054for referenc,e this is the map of Torihao precinct, in case you want to go somewhere else
>>38857063>>38857021>>38857038>>38857015Yes! This is it! The weapon you've been waiting for. It's exotic! It's manly! It's just-a like-a mama use-ta make!
>>38857375ITS.... also 20 gold, apparently. Phew. That's steep, kid. 20 gold could buy you, like, SO much ale.But it's alright, you have the money, don't you?
>>38857411>DONT YOU?!you don't
>>38857411Who needs money with a body like this? How bout it, big boy?
>>38857438Just steal it
>>38857438>>38857445I support this. Sex him good.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>38857438>Seduce him into paying with your body!
>>38857438Well, a dungeon run will fix that right up! Wealth beyond measure, outlander!
>>38857411its all we have but with this mighty weapon we will be able to make the gold back with easepurchase it become the broke man with the cutter of pih,zah we wont be broke for long with this thing at our side
>>38857411Would he consider...alternative payment options?>Read: Sex, violence upon creatues/people of his choice or violence upon himIf he won't accept the first two, default to the third
>>38857483well shit i guess not>>38857475this buy a sword that we can afford and delve a dungeon to get the gold we need
>>38857438>Ask about opening a line of credit with his store.>Or locate a local bank to acquire a small business loan. Business, ADVENTURE.
>>38857468>>38857505no we must be loved by the people
>>38857549No we must've make love TO all the people. That is our quest.
>>38857588both to and by>>38857530i like the line of credit idea we will be able to pay him back very soonlater we will invest in his store and make it huge
>>38857673>chop own dick off
>>38857438>chops some fire wood, sell fire wood
What the fuck is with the rampant shitposting in this thread. Is it because the quest got past your filter and triggered you? Could you not just hide it?
>>38857741No, that would require having an int above 6
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>38857445You flex and stretch and squeeeeeeze your gluts, showing your PERFECT MALE PHYSIQUE.Not even the god of heterosexuality could protect this merchant from your SHEER SEXINESS.
>>38857807Hump him. Hump him good.
>>38857807>".....no....thank you...."He manages to get out amid his awkward stare.>"I need money to pay for this, sir. Not your ass."PLAN RUINED.>WHAT WILL YOU TRY NEXT??
>>38857845Then we must rape!
>>38857845Well shit. Time to go find a job. Maybe they need help wrestling bears.
>>38857845Tell him to hold it for us while we go rip the gold out of a nearby mountain with our bear hands. Also our bare hands.Along the way we will find a Dragon and make her our best friend.
>>38857845"I would like it bagged" and then steal it while he goes to get the bag
>>38857845>Ask if there is anything he needs done. Do not rape him.
>>38857845ask if he has a quest.or rival merchants he wants to get killed.
>>38857845Line of credit.
>>38857926It's already bagged, the jig is up!>>38857908Seconding this.
>>38857933I think this guy wants us to rape him.
FUCKEMERGENCYGOTTA GOSEE YOU DICKS TOMORROW
>>38857845>>38857940I second!We need a quest.
>>38857977Alright, thanks for running man! And glad to see you're back
>>38857977Remember: Quest in the subject deters faggots like >>38857963It was a good re-start, though!
>>38857845ask where the arena isalthough we are barbaric that doesn't mean we don't have a PRIDE OF A WARRIOR.
>>38857977Goodbye, op. Will miss.
>>38857845Inquire after a line of credit with his shopHe has seen how strong we are, so with that weapon we will acquire gold with out strength in no time!
Someone archive under "quest quest" pls
>>38857845Ask If you can pay in installments
>>38857791>>38857673You fucking pussy, you should've dunked on him like a real sensei would. im getting sick and tired of your shit. stop breaking codes of honorwhats in the building
>>38858004>deterALRIGHT, RACE OVER, WE ARE SHITTING OUR PANTS IN HOPES THE ROBOT WILL FIND US TOO UNHYGIENIC TO HANDLE!IT WORKED! BONUS! WE EMPTIED OUR BLADDER:BLADDER STATUS: 0% FULL
>>38858055It should be called "The quest quest of the Bradbarian"
>>38858122I'm sorry, sensei, gomenasai. We're in the building. Robot's in the building. Time machine we need is in the building. A pile of shit is in the building.
>>38858123what do you do now? you are standing in the building with a big pile of shit. the time machine is no where in seight
>>38858389let's go look for the machine, then! i think we could be safe from the robot currently
>>38858445AT THE OTHER END OF THE BUILDING YOU SEE ANOTHER ROOM WITH A BIG DOORdo you go in????
>>38858615smear the shit on the door to open it!
>>38858657using your knife as a spatula, you smear shit on the door!your knife gets covered in shit though, i dont know why you thought that was a good idea you fucking nitwit
>>38858783ITS A KATANA, NOT A KNIFE YOU DUMB FUCK. also hows our bladder doing?
>>38858837your bladder is reaching newfound volume. you have leved up to level 5 bladder volume or 5yrd^3 of liters! you are 40-% fulla strange man opens up the shit smeared door. he is wearing different colored socks, a symbol of the tojimooshi period, a period that died long ago with the death of mr takijojii! something strange is eminating behind him, but you cant get a good lookwhat do you do???
>>38858133Archived as Quest Quest 2 Episode 1.saging so that maybe the idiot will stop samefagging and use that handy little dropdown menu option that says "hide"
>>38854649On one hand, this is sometimes true.On the other, the people who propagate it are chunklords wishing to seem fit by association.