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  • File :1236228670.jpg-(97 KB, 400x500, The Quest.jpg)
    97 KB DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/04/09(Wed)23:51 No.3884934  
    Good evening, gentlemen. Tonight we embark upon /tg/ Dungeon Quest.

    I'm going to keep this simple. I will DM this tale, and will then ask you for your imput. The most popular/not retarded answer given by you will be selected, and we will then move on. In the event where a dice roll is required, please use "dice 1d6" in the email field without quotes (or 1d8, 1dwhatever) after indicated.

    Your first choice : Which adventure do you wish to play?

    A) Treasure of the Barrow Wight
    B) Curse of the Warlock
    >> Anonymous 03/04/09(Wed)23:53 No.3884957
    A) Treasure of the Barrow Wight
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/04/09(Wed)23:57 No.3885004
         File :1236229062.jpg-(113 KB, 400x500, Training Ground.jpg)
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    Since there's been no surge of replies, we'll go with the Treasure of the Barrow Wight first.

    You are an adventurer who dabbles in a little bit of everything. However, you may at this point choose to heighten your abilities in one of the following fields :

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:00 No.3885043
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:03 No.3885067

    You increase your knowledge about magic.

    You are now able to cast the following spells (once only, each) this adventure :


    You sit down to discuss theology with an old man.

    Do you wish to worship a deity at this time? (Yes/No)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:06 No.3885098
    Worship Nurgle
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:06 No.3885099
    What are the choices?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:07 No.3885110
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:09 No.3885122
         File :1236229760.jpg-(88 KB, 400x500, Discussion.jpg)
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    The old man tells you that you may worship any of the three gods (or not at all)

    Beatrice (Good)
    Sky Goddess (Neutral)
    War (Evil)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:10 No.3885130
    Those are boring. Xom or bust.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:11 No.3885145
    >> Bludflecked !!2ADwRrWQ4gf 03/05/09(Thu)00:13 No.3885168
    Rename War to Xom, and you have yourself a deal.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:15 No.3885183
         File :1236230141.jpg-(82 KB, 400x500, Adventurer.jpg)
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    You put your hand up to silence the old man before you leave the table. You need no god.

    Before you proceed, are you a good man, a neutral man, or an evil man?
    >> Dawgas !P6pMZ.8ybs 03/05/09(Thu)00:18 No.3885208
    we are Awesome

    fuck those other shitty alignments
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:18 No.3885217
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:19 No.3885224
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:24 No.3885269

    I'm going to say that Awesome is self reliant, which falls closest to Neutral.

    You care not for the over-all greater good or evil, but are a true adventurer, and will go where you go.

    The last stop before you descend into exploration is the Blacksmith's Shop.

    Roll 5d100 to determine your gold.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)00:26 No.3885284
    rolled 48, 40, 19, 88, 32 = 227

    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:28 No.3885306
         File :1236230884.jpg-(104 KB, 400x500, Leprechaun Smith.jpg)
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    You have 227 gold pieces.

    You enter the smithery.

    He offers Weapons, Armor, and Miscellany.

    Which would you like to see first?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:30 No.3885340
    Misc, oh sweet nothingness I want misc!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:30 No.3885342

    Armor - living is underrated.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:30 No.3885345
    Armor! I want yon robes!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:31 No.3885366
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:32 No.3885368
    Miscellany, my good sir.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:33 No.3885376

    The Armor available in your price range currently :

    Leather Armor : 100 gold
    Chainmail : 200 gold
    Buckler : 50 gold
    Spiked Shield : 100 gold

    You can withhold any purchases until the end of your browsing.

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:34 No.3885395
    A buckler. And only a buckler.
    >> Fault 03/05/09(Thu)00:34 No.3885398
    I dunno that's a lot fo dice
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:37 No.3885422


    Mystery Potion : 200 gold
    Sleep Scroll : 50 gold
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:37 No.3885432
    I want the mystery potion.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:38 No.3885438
    goddamn it why did the tau faggot have to roll so poorly
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:39 No.3885454
    Lastly, Weapons

    Longsword : 30 gold
    Axe : 40 gold
    Mace : 25 gold
    Claymore (2H) : 80 gold
    Sling (with 5 rocks) : 15 gold
    Longbow (with 10 arrows) : 65 gold
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:39 No.3885455
    >Mystery Potion : 200 gold

    I'll take it! And I'll give 20 extra to the guy as a tip.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:40 No.3885463
    Sling and mystery potion.

    Drink mystery potion right away.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:40 No.3885467

    He could have rolled 5 1s.

    I too, want delicious mystery potion
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:41 No.3885483
    Mystery potion.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:43 No.3885499
         File :1236231784.jpg-(57 KB, 400x500, Mystery Potion.jpg)
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    You have purchased a Mystery Potion. (Why am I not surprised?)

    You have 27 gold remaining.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:43 No.3885510
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:43 No.3885511
    Let's drink it! I can barely contain my excitement.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:44 No.3885518
    Seconded! Drink the potion, only a moment after receiving it from the kind shopkeeper.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:44 No.3885519
    Drink ye potion, buy ye sling.

    We're going David and Goliath up in this motherfucker.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:45 No.3885529

    You have purchased a sling. You have 12 gold remaining, and store it away in your pouch.

    You quaff the mystery potion, much to the surprise of the leprechaun.

    Roll a 1d100.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:46 No.3885539
    WITH MAGIC(K)! I propose Divination as our primary school, as it resembles the word "divine" and it likely to have something to do with the christian god. LET'S DO IT!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:46 No.3885541
    you cannot drink ye potion
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)00:47 No.3885545
    rolled 3 = 3


    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:47 No.3885546
    rolled 62 = 62

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:47 No.3885551
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:48 No.3885554
         File :1236232097.jpg-(8 KB, 243x284, oh god why.jpg)
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    oh goddamn it...
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:49 No.3885560

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:49 No.3885561
    rolled 4 = 4

    Fuck you bitch, I had us above 60!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)00:49 No.3885566
         File :1236232183.jpg-(19 KB, 350x232, Manly Essence.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:50 No.3885574
    Well, I'll be damned...
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:50 No.3885575

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:52 No.3885592
    Well fuck, forgot the fill-in email. :<
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:53 No.3885607
    What now, DM? D:
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:54 No.3885611

    The potion slides down your throat; it is hot, and stings. It creates a similar sensation to being slapped, if you were slapped by a hand made entirely out of bees.

    After a fit of coughing, you wipe your bleary eyes. You feel funny.

    Inventory :

    Empty Mystery Potion
    Walking Stick (free with every adventure)
    5 Rocks
    Pouch -> 12 gold.

    You leave the shop.

    Enter the barrow?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)00:55 No.3885623
         File :1236232522.jpg-(179 KB, 600x619, Warforged BEES.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:55 No.3885626
    Can we urinate into the mystery potion bottle and sell it back to the merchant as a new and entirely different mystery potion?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:55 No.3885628
    Yell at Leprachaun for selling a defective potion.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:57 No.3885636
    Five stones won't cut it. We need more stones.

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:57 No.3885642
    >free with every adventure
    >Enter the barrow?
    Why would I? What's the quest?
    >> Fault 03/05/09(Thu)00:57 No.3885643
    wouldn't a hand made of bees just kinda.. pop before they could sting ya?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:58 No.3885650
    Throw sling at that dumb leprechaun. Travel through town picking up more stones.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:58 No.3885655
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)00:59 No.3885660

    You search outside the entrance of the barrow for additional stones.

    Roll a 1d10.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)00:59 No.3885664
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:00 No.3885668
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:00 No.3885678
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885681
    DM, it's STONES.
    STONES, do we really need to discuss this?
    We can get an infinite number free of charge by just looking or digging.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885682

    You only manage to find two stones of proper size for sling use.

    There is a rope ladder leading down directly into the barrow from the grassy soil you stand upon.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885685
    I feel like such a Shas'o. :(
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885691
    Pick up stones, while announcing that I am the king of sling.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885692
         File :1236232898.png-(11 KB, 441x495, Tau Xbox Kid.png)
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:01 No.3885695
    Well, we can continue looking for stones.
    I think having at least 25 is a good starting point.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:03 No.3885711
    You rolled a 1, CRITICAL STONE FINDING FAILURE! You slip and fall, breaking your neck in the process. You are dead. Game over. The end.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:03 No.3885714

    You cross your arms while standing atop the barrow, loudly declaring yourself to be the King of Slings; the Sling King. None of the local peasantry milling about the fields outside seem to dispute this claim.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:05 No.3885735
    I get my rocks, my sling, and I practice for a bit againts trees., for a few hours, including moving and runnng practice runs. Gotta get in shape and make sure i'm ready.
    >> dice 1d100 Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:05 No.3885738
    I say we go find some witchaloks.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:05 No.3885743
    rolled 46 = 46

    Fuck wrong line
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:07 No.3885758
    Point to one of the peasantry. Offer him ten (10) gold in order to accompany me on my journey as the Sling King's official stone bearer.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:09 No.3885776
    rolled 13 = 13

    Approach the nearest peasant and denounce him/her as a witchalok.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:09 No.3885779

    After a bit of practice, you feel fairly comfortable that you're able to hit whatever you sling rocks at.

    Some of the peasants seem intrigued, but most fear the barrow due to the local myths of monsters inside.

    Roll a 1d20 to see if any of the peasants will take you up on the offer.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:09 No.3885790
    Enter Barrow
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:11 No.3885798
    rolled 16 = 16

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:11 No.3885802
    As a show of power, I cast my Firedart to the air to (assure them I am capable of defending myself and them.)

    Also, I throw a few leaves as part of the casting to make it seem more glitzy and powerfull as they ignite- it should impress the commoners.)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:11 No.3885803
    For the peasant!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:11 No.3885806
    rolled 7 = 7

    The peasant had better be a damn witchalok
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:12 No.3885815
    Fuck. Year!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:12 No.3885817
    rolled 1 = 1

    [x] Genuflect
    [x] Rape the maids
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:12 No.3885818

    A homely young man no older than 17 winters with a lazy eye is the only one to leave his farming duties.

    Do you wish to hire Marty the peasant?

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:14 No.3885831
    Find the most intelligent-looking person in the town and ask him about the Legend of the Barrow(™)!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:14 No.3885834
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:14 No.3885835
    Yes! Yes! By all that is neutral, yes!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:14 No.3885838
    I rape the young man.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:14 No.3885842

    From this day forth, he is no longer Marty the Peasant. He is Marty Stonegripper.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:16 No.3885859
    Agreed! Marty Stonegripper shall be known throughout the lands!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:17 No.3885871
    Aye! I train Marty Stonegripper for a few hours in the basics of combat- since he doesnt have any weapons, I teach him the basics of brawling.

    Namely, using the sling rocks I have given him to use as melee weapons. Thus, his name shall make sense, and thus his fighting will strenghten mine.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:17 No.3885873

    You have hired a peasant (to carry your rocks).

    You now have 2 gold.

    Marty recalls that two hundred years ago, a mighty king constructed this barrow for himself, and moved into it when he was getting old. He also drained the treasury and brought it with him.

    Everyone who entered the barrow to see what became of the king and his treasures never returned.

    But Marty says that he knows a guy who knew a guy who went into the barrow and said it was safe. Totally.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:18 No.3885883
    Marty Stonegripper is a legit guy. I say we can safely enter the barrow! ENTER THE BARROW!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:18 No.3885884
    Sounds safe to me. Send Marty Stonegripper in first just in case.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:19 No.3885889
    No! He must remain behind us in the barrow. He is protecting our most precious of cargo!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:19 No.3885891

    Marty has acquired the title "Stonegripper". He is somewhat frail and inaccurate, but could possibly bash something with a rock.

    Marty is now equipped with Rock.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:19 No.3885893
    I ask Marty to keep his eyes open for sling rocks. it is his DUTY to make sure he grabs and collects as many as he sees. For we are ONE!

    I sling, he collects and holds!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:19 No.3885894
    MARTY LIES! Beat him to make him confess the truth!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:20 No.3885902
    Grasp Marty firmly by the shoulder and look deep in his eyes.

    Tell him, in a steady voice full of conviction:

    "You are one of my people now, Marty Stonegripper. You will assist me in my quest. The Kindgom of Slings has needs, Marty. This Sling Kingdom, this Slingdom, requires more stones. Far more stones. You know these fields well, Marty. Where can these stones be found?"
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:21 No.3885904
    I ask Marty to show me his BEST "FIGHTING" face. It's crucial.

    I must know the strength within his lanky, frail soul and wandering eye.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:21 No.3885905
    Indeed. The marching order into the barrow is us, and then Marty behind us. Marty shall spend his time looking for acceptable stones, and holding our glorious stones.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:21 No.3885908

    As Marty is carrying your rocks, he follows behind you so that he may pass them foreward into your awaiting sling hand.

    You descend into the barrow via the rope ladder. Moments later, Marty follows you. As he does, the rope ladder snaps, sending him crashing to the ground.

    He is unhurt, but it appears that you will not be able to leave the way that you came. Even if you stood on Marty's shoulds and tried to use your walking stick, tied to all your clothes, tied to your sling, it still would not be long enough to pull you out of the hole.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:22 No.3885915
    Courage Wolf.jpg
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:23 No.3885924
    I grow bored. Enter into the barrow with heroic Matry by my side!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:24 No.3885930
         File :1236234250.jpg-(45 KB, 640x480, dungeon.jpg)
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    All around you is dungeon. Marty begins to assess the floor for rocks, but is fumbling around a little. He complains that it is dark, but oddly you can see as clear as day.

    You are now aware that you possess Darkvision. As you're an average human man, you deduce that this must be the effect of the mystery potion you drank earlier.

    Available exits :

    N S E
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:24 No.3885932

    I cast Light.

    It's dark, you make it bright.Adventuring 101.

    If I can, I make it a low intensity light - for maximum duration, no need have TOO much brightness- we have two sets of eyes. Oh, and I look up a lot.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:24 No.3885935
    I think you mean advice dog.jpg

    I enchant my walking stick with light. Proceed forward!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)01:24 No.3885936

    ...you're welcome, boyos.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:24 No.3885939
    Marty doesnt have darkvision, either.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:25 No.3885945


    Also, go North. Always north.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:26 No.3885955
    No, our BRAVE STONEGRIPPER has NO such darkvision- in fact, we should alight one of his stones, so that he might bash his light into his foes!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885961

    Do you wish to :

    Cast Light
    Cast Light on your Stick
    Cast Light on Marty's Rock
    Do not cast Light
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885964
    Sir, you have made me fall out of my chair laughing. This was easily the funniest thing I've read on 4chan in atleast a week. That beats even Dorf Quest. I lol'd heartily and fully and for that I present you with +5 internets and a coupon for a buy one get one free entree and Denny's.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885970
    After casting light, possibly on the walking stick, proceed north, for north is the direction of ADVENTURE!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885972
    Why the fuck would I use a wish spell to emulate a light spell?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885973

    Cast Light on Marty
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:27 No.3885974
    Light on stick!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:28 No.3885978
    Light up a rock for Marty, and head west as though I know what I'm doing.

    (Also, is it spell points/unlimited/Vancian?)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:28 No.3885979

    Light on the stick!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:29 No.3885981
    Cast light, for the Slingdom requires stones, and only Marty can find them.

    Cast light on Marty's pet rock, so he may more accurately find stones.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:29 No.3885984
    Once per adventure! Cast Light, low magnitude for max duration as said above, on stick proceed North.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:29 No.3885985
    Fine, cast liight on the stick, and walk away. You can always drop the stick mid battle or pass it to STONEGRIPPER for safe keeping.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:30 No.3885988
    Cast light on Marty's rock.

    For he shall be Marty Stonegripper, the Bringer of Light.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:30 No.3885993
    No! For he is not the stickgripper! Cast it upon a stone. We do not need the light!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:30 No.3885995
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:30 No.3885998

    You expend your solitary casting of Light onto your Walking Stick. It now glows eerily, and casts light in a five foot radius around the stick itself.

    Marty is awed, and now stays within the circle of light. You proceed North.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:32 No.3886006
         File :1236234727.jpg-(123 KB, 400x500, Giant Rat.jpg)
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    You stumble across a giant rat!

    Marty shrieks.

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:32 No.3886007
    Awww. I wanted Marty to have the stone of light.
    Man, I think it's funny how we wnt Marty to be even more epic than our nameless self.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:32 No.3886011
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:33 No.3886016
    The King of Sling needs only to sling this rat once!

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:33 No.3886017
    I bribe the rat with gold.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:33 No.3886021
    Nameless self? We are playing the Sling King!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:34 No.3886024
    FIGHT! I take one of my stones, gird myself with valor and spin it with my swing and I let go furiously, as my muscles exert with power the force necessary to crush the rat in twain, it's brain matter sprayed along the wall like a glorius decoration commemorating bloodshed!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:34 No.3886028
    I propose we name ourself! How about Fattus Guyus, King of the Slingdom, Bearer of the Magic Stick, Seer of the Dark.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:34 No.3886029

    Marty hurriedly passes you a rock from your arsenal. You fire!

    Roll a 1d6.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)01:34 No.3886032
    rolled 2 = 2


    'ERE WE GO
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:35 No.3886037
    No, we are simply the Sling King. There is no name more glorious than the Sling King.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:35 No.3886040
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886044
         File :1236234968.jpg-(27 KB, 450x300, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886045

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886046
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886047
    True, but having nicknames and titles is cool.
    RATSLAYER shall be our new one!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886048
    jesus why can't we roll high in this thread
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:36 No.3886051
    rolled 2 = 2


    You hit the giant rat in the side with a rock! The rat chitters angrily!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:38 No.3886059
    rolled 3 = 3


    The giant rat attacks Marty!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:38 No.3886060
    We hit the rat though. Maybe rolling low is good?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:38 No.3886061
    Chitter back, in the language of the rats. Tell him to return to his rat hovel lest he find himself slung again.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:38 No.3886065
    Now finish it!
    Take with valor the stick of LIGHT!


    RAT shall be driven from our sight to oblivion!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:38 No.3886068
    When we have earned titles, we shall add them. But for now, we are simply the Sling King.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:39 No.3886070
    We must defend our subject, no matter the cost. Such is the responsibility of a King to his people.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:40 No.3886081

    Marty has suffered a minor injury.

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:41 No.3886086

    Fight some more
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:42 No.3886092

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:42 No.3886096
    It clearly wants another taste of sling, and only the Sling King can adequately hand out such morsels! Sling him again!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:42 No.3886097
    Can somebody archive this please? I have to go now, but this thread has given me a lot of laughs and it'd be a shame to see it go.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:43 No.3886100
    The rat is weakened, now, strike with hate in our heart!

    I take my stick and swing it full throttle at it's face, lest it's hatefull shenanigans harm our subject again!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/05/09(Thu)01:44 No.3886117
    rolled 2 = 2


    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:46 No.3886132
    rolled 6 = 6

    I hereby declare that this man no longer rolls for us.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:46 No.3886133

    >Marty hands you another *EDIT*rock*EDIT*, looking into your eyes with hope. The weight of this rock somehow feels heavy with importance.

    >You fire!

    Didn't mean sling the first time. I'm tired.

    You strike the rat once again, this time with a sickening crunch.

    You have slain a giant rat!

    Marty appears to be a little bolder.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:46 No.3886136
    We have clearly hit the rat so hard that it has been cast back in time to a point before we struck it, causing a small paradox that the universe has locked away for safety.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:47 No.3886147
    Pick up the giant rat, tie it by the tail to the walking stick, to ward off future rats.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:48 No.3886157
    "You have done well this day, Marty. You have served your King with honour and couragously performed your duty in the face of danger."
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:50 No.3886181

    The rat is the size of a large dog. This is unfeasible.

    Marty beams with pride, and recollects the rocks. They are somewhat reddened and sticky with rat blood now.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:51 No.3886189
    Is it still unfeasable, even if the rat on a stick is supported over the shoulder, like a hobo-stick?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:53 No.3886198

    Drink the rat's blood to gain its spirit power.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:53 No.3886202
    "Marty, this shall be our dinner.! We must cook it throughly, as I'm sure your mother educated you on cleaning and purging toxins from meats.But for now, carry it, for we might need to rest soon."
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:54 No.3886216
    Yes, for the rat's tenacity would be useful!

    Wait! Bottle the rat's blood in empty mystery potion vial instead! For later consumption.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:55 No.3886222

    Do you wish to hogtie the giant rat's corpse to the glowing walking stick and carry it between you and Marty? Note that doing so will not allow him to expediently pass you rocks, or collect additional rocks.

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:55 No.3886223
    Matry may not carry a rat, for it is not a stone.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:55 No.3886229
    No. Marty may only carry stones, not rat-sticks.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:55 No.3886231

    You fill your empty bottle with rat blood, and stopper it. Marty has to avert his eyes.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:56 No.3886235
    Shall we kill and eat marty?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:57 No.3886239
    You dirty bastard! Marty is our first and most loyal subject, he shall live forever!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:57 No.3886240

    VERY N
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:58 No.3886245
    I take back that I said we should kill and eat marty. I apoligize. So shall we make a hat for marty out of the rat?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:58 No.3886249
    Sure, we can always drop the rat-stick when combat begins as free action, and it will still iluminate the radious around the stick for Marty's sake, and allow him to pass rocks expediently.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)01:58 No.3886251
    You decide to leave the giant rat's corpse where it is, and proceed down the remainder of the northern corridor.

    You reach a fork in the corridor.

    You can go left, down a misty hall way; or,

    You can go right, to a tall stone wall set with three oak doors.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:59 No.3886254
    I agree with this. Marty's rat-hat is acceptable.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)01:59 No.3886260
    Left, for the cool mist shall cool our aching joints.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:00 No.3886268
    Shall we venture right?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:01 No.3886273
    No, left. The mist is inviting us.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:01 No.3886281
    I say we venture left. However shall we take time to make a rat hat for marty?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:03 No.3886288
    We do not have the tools needed to do so.

    First we must gather tresure, then we can return to town with the giant rat and properly hire a tanner and milliner.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:03 No.3886289
    It is too late, I think. The rat is left behind, and to turn back from the mist now would be cowardly.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:03 No.3886291

    You head left. As you progress down the hallway, it gets colder, and mistier. Marty sticks closer to you, as this environment proves poor for stone searching.

    You can heard a susurrous slurping noise further ahead.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:04 No.3886296
    We are not cowards! Shall we venture forth and find glory for ourselves. I suggest we have Marty sing of our greatness
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:04 No.3886297

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:06 No.3886304
    Put our arm around Marty, and assure him that what is ahead of us is a true adventurer's dream. For soon, we shall defeat a monster, and save the townspeople. All the wenches will know of our deeds, and shall pay attention to us, and stuff. It'll be great.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:06 No.3886308

    I say " Come FORTH, Beast! Come and meet the Sling KING, your doom!"

    And I start winging my swing for extra prepped momentum for danger.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:07 No.3886312
    We shall sing a song of epicness for our friend Marty.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:08 No.3886323

    You are about to regale Marty with a reassuring song involving wenches, treasure, and slings, when he points further down the hall.

    It appears as though there is a helmet, and a sword, floating in the mist and sashaying from side to side.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:09 No.3886326
    We command marty to get the equipment.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:10 No.3886333
    Assure Marty that this happens all the time. Helmets and swords are well known to float when confronted with mist.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:11 No.3886343
    Marty replies "But master I am scared" please "regal me with a tune again and we shall enter battle"
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:11 No.3886344
    I say " A foe most worthy, dungeon! But it shall avail you for naught!" And I attack, my sling shooting it's payload towards then helm.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:12 No.3886351
    We are so awesome
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:12 No.3886352

    I believe we should trust in the sling. Or perhaps attempt to speak with the sashaying figure. Perhaps it desires to dance.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:12 No.3886353
    rolled 6 = 6

    Floating sword and helm is probably immune to petty stones. We must kill it with fire.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:13 No.3886358
    No! Perhaps we can bribe it with a vial of rat blood.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:13 No.3886361
    rolled 2 = 2

    Perhaps you are right. Talk then.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:14 No.3886366
    It dies!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:14 No.3886367

    You reassure Marty that you have this shit totally under control.

    Do you wish to :


    Or propose alternate.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:15 No.3886371
    What killed it?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:15 No.3886372
    Fail imposter DM is fail.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:15 No.3886373
    I slap Marty should he really say such weak things.

    I tell him "Get a hold of yourself, Marty! For a far greater nightmare awaits us, and no song or dance can truly assuage the fear that lies in your heart! Only by testing ourselves in true battle can we defeat our demons, and in doing so, we will know a greater glory you could have ever known!"

    And I attack!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:15 No.3886376
    Is it approaching?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:15 No.3886377
    Pay attention to the bold lettering where the non-bolded tripcode should be.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:16 No.3886378
    Talk to it and attempt to reason with it. Tell it of the glory to be of the Slingdom and offer it a place by your side.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:17 No.3886389
    Social Combat?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:18 No.3886392
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:18 No.3886393


    It's clearly female.

    Or enough of a pretty boy it doesn't matter.
    >> Beardbeard 03/05/09(Thu)02:18 No.3886395
         File :1236237511.gif-(132 KB, 668x942, dorfpride.gif)
    132 KB
    Challenge it to a drinking contest!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:18 No.3886396
    Third for social Combat
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:19 No.3886403
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:19 No.3886404
    We are NOT the "Word King!"!

    We are the SLING KING!

    And we will live by the SLING or DIE by the Sling! And in that glorious moment where fate deals us our final breath, all the heavens will know that there was never NO compromise, and NO hesitation!

    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:19 No.3886411
         File :1236237598.jpg-(86 KB, 400x500, Gelatinous Cube.jpg)
    86 KB

    You decide to talk, and then attack if this fails.

    Your words of greeting and warning are not met with caution. As the slurping noise grows closer, you can now see that the helmet and sword are stuck in the center of a jiggling cube.

    You have encountered a gelatinous cube!

    Attack with sling? Y/N
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:20 No.3886415
    You win we are the Sling King!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:21 No.3886422
    We shall attack and Win and then we will make marty a geletanious hat!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:22 No.3886426
    We shall fill that cube with more stones than it has ever witnessed in its cubey life!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:22 No.3886428

    NO Compromise! NO quarter! And we shall sling without fear!

    I attack!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:22 No.3886430
    Perhaps fire would be more effective. We would look most foolish if we hit the cube with a rock, accomplishing nothing but a wet popping noise and a suspended bit of stone.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:22 No.3886433
    I attack !
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:22 No.3886434

    FFF no!

    Magic firedart. Keep backing up. How many times can we fire magic firedarts?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:23 No.3886436
    One must appreciate what it MEANS to be the Sling King. One must be wholly dedicated to the way of slingery. One must be themselves, like a sling.

    Do you think that stones are the only thing that can be cast forth from a sling? No, Sir, for we ARE the Sling King, the greatest sling that ever was, and we shall cast words like bullets upon our enemies until they are broken.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:23 No.3886439
    There is nothing in this world that cannot be killed by enough stones!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:23 No.3886443

    Marty quickly hands you a stone, which you lob into the gelatinous cube with great vigor!

    The gelatinous cube continues its slow, wobbling approach. There is a wet popping noise and a suspended stone next to the helmet and sword now.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:24 No.3886449
    We shall feed marty to the cube! Wait Marty attack!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:25 No.3886456
         File :1236237913.jpg-(69 KB, 400x500, Sling.jpg)
    69 KB

    You feel embiggened with your over-all slingery, even if it has had no impact on the cube yet.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:25 No.3886459
    Perhaps we could fall back and feed the giant rat corpse to the cube?

    If its hunger is satiated, perhaps we can pass it by.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:25 No.3886460
    Man, totally called it.

    Throw flames at it while falling back slowly.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:26 No.3886463
    A SLING is a weapon!

    It is a tool for long range destruction! It's primary purpose is to use centrifugal force generate by our arms to strike at foes with such force and pinpoint accuracy!

    It is meant for slaying,crushing and maiming!

    And the KING of SLINGS shall know naught but the SLING...and the Stone.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:26 No.3886464
    Let us kill the cube and find some wenches!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:27 No.3886471

    That's a fine lookin' sling.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:27 No.3886473

    Then we shall fill it with so many stones that it will know true FEAR!

    It is a good day to die!

    I strike with my damned slinged rocks!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:28 No.3886476
    Yes, we back up slinging stone after stone at the cube!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:29 No.3886479
    Magic Missle!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:29 No.3886480
    ALL things fall! And thus with enough movement, dodging and weaving from the SLOW and cumbersome Gelatinous Cube, we shall strike enough times with our Sling that it too, shall know terror, and never again eat one more stone!

    We sling!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:30 No.3886482

    You and Marty both proceed backwards down the hall that you came from, as you cry havoc and let loose the sling of war.

    By the time you reach the intersection once again, you have filled the gelatinous cube with all seven stones. It is wobbling erratically as it is now incredibly top heavy.
    >> Beardbeard 03/05/09(Thu)02:32 No.3886492
    More stones!

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:33 No.3886499
    Quickly run back to our rat corpse, return to the cube and throw it at the top of the cube! It will be even top-heavier!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:33 No.3886509
    Place rat corpse between self and cube. Sling more stones.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:34 No.3886511
    The gelatinous cube is slowly approaching.

    You can :

    Back up into the main corridor.

    Back up to the right towards the three wooden doors.

    Marty advises you that he is out of rocks. A quick estimation deems that the only things left you could feasibly sling at the gelatinous cube includes (in order of consideration) :

    2 gold coins
    A pouch
    A glowing walking stick
    A bottle of rat blood
    Marty's clothes
    Your clothes
    The sling itself
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:34 No.3886514
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:34 No.3886516
    BAH! The SLING KING shall KNOW no Fear!

    I run towards the rat, grab it's tail with my sling for propper grip, and use gyrating momentum, as a SPIN and let LOSE the biggest RAT Missle the KING shall know!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:35 No.3886523
    Throw FIRE at it, damn it. We can make little slingy motions if it'll make us feel better.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:35 No.3886524
    Ok, maybe its time for a fire dart.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:35 No.3886525

    You and Marty quickly double back onto the hall you came from, and lift up the rat together.

    Roll a 1d20 for improvised rat missile.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:35 No.3886527
    Marty's Clothes!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:36 No.3886530

    We ARE the sling and the rat shall be our stone.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:36 No.3886535
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:37 No.3886540
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:37 No.3886542
    rolled 13 = 13

    Come one!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:37 No.3886545
    AWW yeah, 3 good rolls.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:38 No.3886550
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:39 No.3886557
    We shall divide by ZERO!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:39 No.3886561

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:40 No.3886562
    Fire FTW!
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:40 No.3886565

    The rat flies true, its stiff body landing on the top of the gelatinous cube. The cube is no longer able to support its shape, and suddenly pitches backwards violently.

    A caustic splash of gelatinous goo showers the walls, the ceiling, and the floor, coming short just of Marty and yourself.

    The helmet and the sword land on the ground with a clang. Your stones have been reduced to nothing but mist.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:41 No.3886569
    Shall Marty wear a helmet?
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:42 No.3886573
    Upon using himself as a giant sling and slinging the huge rat at the Gelatinous Cube, the Sling King realizes that he should make more stones and different kinds of them for different occasions.

    For example, buying a few Alchemist Fires and Holy Waters might be a good idea.They too can be slinged.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:42 No.3886578
    Let us hire another person to carry and use the sword!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:43 No.3886588

    The Sling King believed in the impossible. And he knew he would win.Victory for the SlingvKingdom!

    (At this point a new thread is in order!)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:43 No.3886589
    Keep in mind, The Sling King still holds his most secret and powerful weapon, the rat blood.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:44 No.3886602
    Marty is sad, as he cannot fulfill his duty as there are no stones to carry.

    There is a longsword here.
    There is a steel helmet here.

    Exits include South, North (Branches to Misty Corridor and Three-Door Wall)
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:45 No.3886611
    Remind Marty that, while he may not be gripping stones now, his duties are still important. None but he can truly find the stones that the Sling King requires!
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:47 No.3886627
    I tell Marty to not despair. For rocks are plentyfull, and we shall search.

    I take a 20 and look for plenty of rocks with him. Marty cant be the STONEGRIPPER without stones.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:50 No.3886644
    Give Marty the sword, and tell him that his stone-passing ability has convinced me to promote him to Bodyguard.

    Wear the helm, making sure to get all the goop out first.
    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:50 No.3886647
    rolled 18 = 18

    Roll for new rocks. Equip sword, give marty helmet.
    >> DM Khidma/tg/ar !o7IoaYt5UM 03/05/09(Thu)02:52 No.3886660

    >> Anonymous 03/05/09(Thu)02:52 No.3886661
    bodyguard is not a promotion from Stonegripper.

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