>TWITTER: twitter.com/planefag>ARCHIVES: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Strike+Witches+QuestYou are Sean Roarke, radar operator and swordsman extraordinaire of the 501st Joint Fighter Squadron, and you are currently staring at the impossible. Roy Roarke, aged sixteen, is safe in the 'States; far from the front-lines, laboring daily in a war factory producing armaments to liberate the great plains from the Alien Scourge. He is not here, in uniform, because he is only sixteen. It can't be a Martian infiltrator-bot, for you have bested their mightiest, won its allegiance and elevated it to your right-hand bovine; Hellcow, Thane of Anywhere He Fucking Is At That Particular Time. Young would be flipping out as his bravado rear-ended his brake-slamming bullshit train; Ian would be whistling like a teapot as his relief valve vainly tried to reduce the stupid before it burst in a cataclysmic torrent of derp; but not you. For you are Sean Roarke, Master of Hellcow, Tamer of Triath, Consort of Queen Sakamoto the Nipponese, Master Of Radarese First Class, and no younger brother would dare defy your word, for it is Law, and you would also murder that stupid fuckhead with a cotter pin. The odd little shape “Roy Roarke” bounces cleanly off your flawless logic and goes rattling through your brain, seeking a place to fit – and suddenly, without warning, it clicks. *The Fae.*
Of course. They're still angry at humanity, the last and final invaders of their land to drive them Underhill, and they seized the Martian War as opportunity to sabotage mankind's chances of survival. The Gremlins, slipping from the shadows to work mischief on planes and machines of all sorts, and they know your power, your skill, the one who sees into the shadows and - - my god, it's -The longest two second pause of your life finally ends as you fold your hands together. “Archangel Michael, look over my poor brother in his time of need, and keep his soul safe-”“Sean, I'm-”“-and bless my efforts as I rip this fucking murdering changeling into kibble.” The wicked fae creature bolts like greased lightning for the manor house and you watch him go with great amusement.He actually thinks he can escape. Looking about, you espy a metal rod in the lawn to your left. Investigation reveals a horseshoe pitch; yet another English game that'd be greatly improved with the addition of alcohol. You requisition two iron horseshoes and within moments have tied them together with your rosary beads into a holy cold-iron bola. You give it a few experimental swings as you advance towards the manor, where the grizzled gardener is bracing himself resolutely in the doorway as a fifteen-year old French lunatic is trying to pry him out of the way while snarling presumably hostile things in French.
>>38497689I wanna make some clear fapangel. If your router dies, so do you.
You stop a few strides short of this tableau, and draw yourself up to your full height. Looking down on the poor fools, you raise your hand. “DO NOT COME BETWEEN THE PORKLORD AND IT'S PREY!” Perrine and the gardener stop fighting long enough to stare at you. “TRIATH! HUNT!” The obstacles dissipate like those floaty dandelion seed-things before a hurricane a heartbeat before Triath barrels through the entryway, his massive bulk gaining a mighty and terrible momentum. He dashes around the hallways for a little while before putting on the brakes, piling up an expensive rug beneath his hooves as he halts. You freeze a pace behind him, waiting. Triath puts his nose to the floorboards, and begins to sniff. He's found the scent. You creep after your tracking pig as he sniffs his way through the old mansion, curly little tail twitching as he focuses his incredible intellect on the pursuit of the damned fae. Pigs, you know, are smart – terrifyingly smart. If they could fit into suits, they'd probably be in Parliament by now – or maybe they already are. Triath leads you into a dusty office which is thickly adorned with all sorts of red coats and funny hats and no less than three large paintings of constipated English assholes on horses with an army of hounds, presumably chasing a single fucking fox. You pause long enough to rip a sheet of paper off the desk blotter and liberate some tape. As Triath homes in on one corner of the room, you neatly re-name the paintings “Hunt for the Bismark,” “Hunt for the Graf Spee” and the largest one over the desk, depicting a bunch of hounds staring at a burrow entrance with gorgeously-rendered “well shit” faces is rechristened “Fleet In Being.” Triath has sat upon his haunches and is staring at a trap-door in the ceiling by the time you finish.
>>38497756I upgraded my data plan and I've got a smartphone that can wifi tether. I WILL NOT BE DENIED.
>>38497689>Consort of Queen Sakamoto the NipponeseOh gods my fucking sides
>>38497783“Agreed,” you say, plucking a battered brass bugle off a stand near the door and shaking the dust out of it. “We've treed the fae. Quiet, now – it won't be long.” Afore long your cautious search is interrupted by the unmistakable quickstep of fast-moving bitchtits. Peeking around a corner, you espy Perrine flinging doors open one at a time, her hair flying about her face as she whips her head about trying to search every square inch of every chamber in half a second. She's making enough noise that you and Triath are able to stroll up behind her without any attempt at stealth at all. You're just shaking the remaining dust out of the bugle and drawing in a nice, deep lungful of breath to greet the daft tart when she flings open the door to the goddamned parlor. You both stare in silence for a long moment, because the tableau is truly something. A few of the young medical students have already succumbed to the Witchy Charms, enthusiastically returning their ardent advances. One is trying to reach a bottle of brandy with one hand while holding an IV bag over his charge with the other, despite said charge sleeping soundly against his chest. The bravest one has firmly restrained his patient with liberal amounts of medical tape so he can proceed with treatment unhindered, but the wounded Witch is apparently enjoying the arrangement rather more than she aught, much to the young man's consternation.
>>38497844And right in the middle of this tableau of Sex in the Surgery is Ian, who's face is buried in the formidable glacis plate of his mother, Katherine Kent. Perrine seems to expand like an angry cat with a firehose of hate jammed into its asshole. (Fuck Robbie Burns, *you're* the poet of the common man.) Her long, silken hair explodes in little bristles of frizz as static charges go tingling over your skin; her slender ripcage expanding with rage as thwarted lust blazes in her cheeks... and forehead... and neck. You marvel at how perfectly she mirrors Ian in some ways, but if Ian's a high-pressure boiler, Perrine's just a pasty bag filled with sexual frustration and capped by a nozzle that only emits social snobbery. You can almost watch her smashing that penis-shaped peg into square social holes, looking for once she can brute-force. She REALLY needs to get laid.>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.>The Irishman Abides. >Other?
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.HEY IAN FUCK YOUSOMETHING BAD HAPPENED AND I'M GOING TO PIGGYBACK OFF YOUR SUFFERING TO MAKE IT BETTER
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.IAN MUST SUFFER!
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.The lulz must not be stopped!
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.Dis gon be gud.
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.THERE IS THE ONLY OPTION!
>>38497876>>The Irishman Abides.
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.This can can only go wrong. For Ian.
>>38497973then the mother goes apeshit over the french tart
>>38497876We have a bugle. We know what must be done. Cry havoc, and let slip the witches of war.
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.This is the only answer.
>>38498009so much blood!
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.Shenanigans HO!
>>38497876i mean, we cant just not use the bugle
Thinking on it, would his mother being busty be a factor as to why Ian has a preference for modestly endowed girls like Perrine?
>>38498185I would say so, yes.
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.WE HAVE NOT EVEN BEGUN TO UNLEASH TOPLEL.
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.Gap an Elf, you're a fucking poet with that summary of Perrine.
>>38498185>implying he actually likes herTheir marriage is going to be entirely one-sided.
>>38497876Part of me wants to say "That's his mother," before Perrine gets herself in deep shit. But then I remember where I am.We're announcing her with the damned bugle.
>>38498240You don't understand anon.Ian is like a mixture of kuudere and tsundere.His English blood prevents him from showing emotion, but trust me, his love for Perrine is real.
>>38497876Fuckin... do we know la Marseilles? we need to bugle that shit. And don't say we don't. Every fucking asshole to ever wrap their manpleasers around a fucking bugle knows that shit.
>>38497783>Pigs, you know, are smart – terrifyingly smart. If they could fit into suits, they'd probably be in Parliament by now – or maybe they already are.
UPDATE CALLED, WRITIN
>>38497876>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.
>>38497689>>38497719>>38497783>>38497844>>38497876There is nothing in any of these posts that did not make me grin. Also, the incredible degree to which we have already trained Triath leads me to suspect something gnomey is happening.>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.
>>38498617Where's this picture from?
Goddamnit, late again.I paused Dr. Feynman for you fap angel, you better make it worth it.
>>38498682Thought it might be that. Didn't know there was a tank Ghostrider.
Unleashing upon the british the hound of gaul?Nothing can go wrong from this. Nothing at all.
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.yup, get Katherine to pay attention to her future daughter in law and ask Ian all kinds of uncomfortable questions
>>38498969Why are blond girls always worst girls?
>>38498969The beauty and the beast.
>>38499028Are you insulting my erika?
>>38499028>>38499074Perrine is the best.
You continue casually dusting off your new bugle, draw in a deep breath and apply it to your lips just as Perrine's about to reach the breaking point. You have always loved bugles. They're like trumpets, but without need of valves – you need only blow; and glorious loud NOISE emerges, brassy and bold, calling men to arms, sending them to sleep, or just plain drowning out their fucking stupidity with sheer glorious LOUD NOISE. Your mum was dead-set on a clarinet because of some horseshit hogwash a salesman sold her, but you won in the end – you got your goddamn trumpet slot in the school band. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fgDxAASI_cYou blow that goddamn brass for everything its worth, a strangled, wild sound crawling out of the dust-choked horn and crawling across the room as you play the only possible intro for a frenchwoman. “ALL HAIL,” you bellow around your bugle, and then blow it some more just for the hell of it. “ALL HAIL PRIVATES H. CLAMSHELL, SHE WHO BEARS THE MIDDLE NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, WHO BEARS UPON HER BRAVE CHEST THE DFC, THE LEGION DE HONOR, THE CROTCH-DE-GURU, THE AIRHEAD MEDAL AND EVEN THE DISTINGUISHED FLYING CROSS!”
>>38499074>The beauty and the beastYeah, Eila is a beast of a sexual predator
>>38499028That'd imply Katherine, Marselles and some other blondes are bad.
>>38498969>that blushPerfectly cute.
>>38499104>WHO BEARS UPON HER BRAVE CHEST THE DFCI have no face.
>>38499104>Announcing a frenchie>Sound retreatOh you.
>>38497876>>Announce her presence as a herald, as befits a Noblewoman of France.Her Majesty, the Queen of Bitchtits and overbitch territories, Countess of Cunt, Princess of Puffed Up, High Lady of Handful, ruler of all her heeled boot walks over!
>>38499104>WHO BEARS UPON HER BRAVE CHEST THE DFC
>>38499104Somebody in the back of the room tries to speak, and you gun him down with your bugle. “BEST BE HAILING, MOTHERFUCKER!” Perrine steps into the silence naturally, not questioning your fanfare or having registered a single goddamn word of it. “YOU,” she roars, her hair beginning to rise in a blonde halo of frizzy rage about her head. “YOU TROLLOP TART MAN-GRABBING SLUTTY-SLOBBERING ENGLISH WENCH!” Thirteen witches stare at her in trepidation.“YOU!” she says, leveling her finger at Katherine Kent, causing the other twelve witches to slump in relief. “THOU BLASPHEMER! THOU SUPERSLUT! UNHAND HIM BEFORE I GO NORMAN CONQUEST ON YOUR ASS!”Katherine Kent stares at her, tears of joy and reunion drying on her cheeks as she throws a track trying to shift gears. “What.”Perrine snatches at her side, whipping her ancestral rapier out of its thin scabbard and whipping it around in the air like Errol Flynn. “I DEMAND SATISFACTION, YOU MAN-EATING HUSSY!” Realization slowly dawns on Katherine, and her eyes widen in horror. She looks down at Ian, and her eyes light up as a circuit completes. “YOU!” she cries at Perrine. “YOU'RE THE HUSSY THAT WAS KISSING IAN'S PILOT!” The energy quite literally goes out of the room as Perrine's frizzy hair drops to her shoulders again. “Whuuh.”
>>38499104>WHO BEARS UPON HER BRAVE CHEST THE DFC>AND EVEN THE DISTINGUISHED FLYING CROSS>Sounding retreatI guess that's our cue to exit stage left?
>>38499156Ding, dong. This witch is dead.
>>38499104>HER BRAVE CHEST THE DFC,>THE CROTCH-DE-GURU>THE AIRHEAD MEDALWell played! I hope Perrine does not catch those.
>>38499156“You're... you're one of those Frenchies I've heard about,” Katherine breathes. “The – the – the HAREM HARLOTS!” She pulls Ian close again, burying his face in her breasts, causing his struggling to diminish as air deprivation takes its toll. “You kidnap good handsome boys and chain them up in some French harem-dungeon! YOU WON'T HAVE THIS ONE, BITCH!” Perrine squeaks like a duck choking on an oboe for a few seconds as her rapier's tip quavers in air, before she settles on the traditional French response to logical observations – threats she can't back up. “YO- I- TH- FFFFFF- UH- CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON, YOU FUCKING WELSHRAG!” Katherine Kent springs to her feet, her magic already glowing about her as she charges into combat sans striker. Perrine's body is wreathed in a halo of power; static charge snapping and crackling as she prepares the Tonnare, her long hair floating about her; a halo fit for an Angel of Vengeance. And then she screams as Katherine swings her sofa.
>>38499156Goddamnit. Even when absent Young manages to hijack the rampage.
>>38499209>And then she screams as Katherine swings her sofa.
>>38499209>Perrine's body is wreathed in a halo of power; static charge snapping and crackling as she prepares the Tonnare, her long hair floating about her; a halo fit for an Angel of Vengeance.>And then she screams as Katherine swings her sofa.I keep on thinking it can't get any better, and I keep getting proved wrong.
I envy Sean's simple lifestyle. If he and Sakamoto ever have issues/arguments they just have a sword fight to deal with it.
She's saved by the half-second it takes the older Witch to smash the doorframe apart; darting down the hall towards the front door so fast her terrified scream develops detectable doppler shift. Katherine is close behind, an entire two-person love-seat raised over her head like a gigantic club. You appreciate the apropos selection of weaponry – and Katherine's excellent ass; clad in tight striped panties that would shut down a major intersection in the 'States – and sigh with satisfaction as they gain the front lawn. You find Ian lying on the floor, still catching his breath after the incident. “Sean,” Ian rasps. “Sean, what, the, what the, what-” “Easy,” you tell Ian, patting him on the shoulder. “It's okay, man. I gotcha. Everything will be fine.” Ian gives you a dubious look, and jerks his thumb towards the bay window. “How in the hell-”“Hey, man – it's ME.” .
Evacuate the mansion.
>>38499264This seems to reassure him. He slumps against the floorboards again and gives you a weary, trusting smile. “True, that. You're...” he coughs a bit, the redness still fading from his face. “If anyone alive could watch THAT and not go nuts, it's you.” You nod companionably and give him a thumbs-up. “So, could you maybe stop them from killing each other?” he asks hopefully.“Sure, sure,” you reply. “Just gimme a minute, I've got to kill a fae changeling that's taken the form of my younger brother.” You hoist the horseshoe-rosary bolo and wiggle it. “... don't look at me like that,” you grouse. “Dammit, it really is. Ask Triath!” Ian slides his Look down to Triath, who grunts at him companionably. “See?”“You get your wish,” Ian says, wrapping his arms over his face. “I can't fucking look at you right now, I really can't.” He curls up on the floorboards and pulls a discarded throw-pillow over his head in despair. Fucking Englishman. No stomach for a good fae-hunt. No wonder the Gremlins gave them hell during the Battle. >We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT. >To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.
>>38499322>>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.Frenchies make the best bait...
>>38499281>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.
>>38499322>>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.THE HUNT CONTINUES
>>38499322>>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.I'm sure they'll work it out. Or not.
>>38499322>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.
>>38499322>>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.HELLCOW.TO MEEEEE
>>38499322>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.Let's go watch a literal catfight.
>>38499322>>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.
>>38499322>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.
>>38499322>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT
>>38499322>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.Haha, time to beat our brother senseless.
>>38499322>>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT.So Frenchies are the favorite food of fae?
>>38499322>We should probably interrupt the fight – we need Perrine as BAIT. The greatest misery for the greatest number possible.
>>38499113Go away Kotters.
>>38499377nah, humans in general are, and a half dead french noble is already predrained of blood. Easy catching, easy cooking, easy eating, no way the fae son of a bitch will turn this chance down.
>>38499322>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.Who cares about collateral damage when faes are on a rampage?On the other hand, maybe we should follow the cat fight with a camera and document it for historical purposes. Maybe even arrange a mud pool.
>all the votes to stop the best show of the centuryNorman faggots, all of you.
>>38499349we got a pig!
>>38499457>your post in generalI respect that you enjoy planefag's show, but I have my own desires as well.
>>38499457It's a ticket to watch the best show of the century.
>>38499322>We should probably go watch the fight, Perrine doesn't need to be conscious to use as bait
>>38499322>>To hell with them – THE FAE DIES NOW.We already trapped the damned thing. Time to finish the job with some good, cold iron.
You know, I wonder if we'll see Roy hook up with Robin. If only for the reactions and shenanigans of the Big Brothers.
>>38499481>It's a ticket to watch the best show of the century.This.
>>38499457which we won't be seeing anyway, what with the fae hunting.
>>38499419On one hand, Katherine's fought in muddy conditions before during Big Oopsie 1. On the other hand, she might have PTSD regarding mud, which would give Perrine the psychological advantage.
>>38499457You don't let your best buddy's gf get beat up, no matter how much of a prissy bitch she is.
>>38499464>Not wanting Hellcow AND PigSWINNNNNNNNNE
>>38499322>To Hell with them - THE FAE DIES NOWPerrine would fall to the wiles of the Sidhe as she lacks the fortitude to resist its wiles. Additionally it simply isn't smart to come between a fellow hunter and their mark. If the Fae proves easily dealt with perhaps we can assist but we are clearly the most qualified to deal with such an insidious threat.
>>38499457It's more like we're setting up the second half of the double feature.
>>38499488Oh lord yes
>>38499488I can live with this.
>>38499600We could watch as Young vemently tries to deny to himself that he's surreptitiously trying to get his little sis laid.
>>38499727Or we can try to disembowel the obviously fae-possessed Young for trying to foist a witchy witch upon our kid brother.
VOTES ARE SO CLOSE I'M GOING TO COMBINE THEM. WRITING
>>38499838WORKS FOR ME
>>38499838how on earth will you do that?
>>38499838An irishman does not fear.
>>38499961Doesn't know luck, either
>>38500267Oh, the Irish know luck. Much as they know potatoes in the middle of a famine.
>>38500267Luck of the Irish originally a sarcastic phrase.
>>38499209>And then she screams as Katherine swings her sofa.A woman after my own heart. Fuck, I think I'm in love.
>>38500603Shit, she might be the only woman who could tame you.
>>38500629Don't you have corgies to herd?
>>38500603I take it you also like them full-bodied? Too bad she's already married. Who knows, there might be a girl who's similar around the base.
We have arrived.... Whoa. Triath the noble Pig-Hound. Katherine going berserk just after Perrine goes catty.We are amazed.
>>38500677the unbound has become unbound with its image
>>38500677The avatar and namefag in a thread with no need of it has arrived, you mean.
>>38500603Wait, Hate I thought you were watching Willy?
>>38500701>>38500747Very well, we desist.One last for the road, though.
You quit the room with a snort that's almost louder than Triath's, both of you properly disgusted by the lack of faith displayed by your so-called comrade. You have here a unique combination of French, English, and Fae – and if there's one thing a good Irish boy knows how to do, it's how to fuck with all three simultaneously. You stroll upstairs and move down the front hallway, opening windows that look over the front lawn and propping open doors so the sound of the fray below can spill into the structure proper. Then you climb to the third floor and creep out a window built into the slope of the roof, Triath crawling behind. You position yourself atop the window and crouch stealthily; ready to leap upon the fae. Changelings love blondes – it's a known fact. Especially children; and even though 15 years old is a bit much for most; well, Perrine's stupid enough to pass. You also have a ringside seat to the Greatest Show on Earth – a literal cat-fight. Perrine's long, lanky legs prove spry; she's darting and rolling about like an acrobat. The mighty overhead swings of an enraged, roaring Katherine Kent are certainly lending her motivation. She's swinging the love-seat around in both hands like a feather-duster, smashing huge dents in the lawn with every missed blow. The gardener is standing to one side, hopping up and down as he shakes a rake, reduced to mad pidgin gibbering in his rage. The artillery crews gathered on the lawn are watching with rapt attention; some of them studying every leap and lunge of Perrine's long, lean legs as they flex interestingly in her tight black stockings, while the majority are fixated on Katherine Kent's impressive bosom as it follows every mighty swing of the sofa with a half-second delay-jiggle; her large engine-deck flexing with rock-hard muscles as she keeps up with the much younger witch without breaking a sweat. This train's powered on rage. Awful, awful rage.
>>38500603>>38500807We're doomed, Willie and the corgis are loose
>>38500850“HOW DARE YOU!” Katherine is screaming. “TRYING TO MOLEST MY POOR HELPLESS SON!” Perrine freezes for almost a full second as realization dawns. You crouch upon the eaves, sniggering like a gargoyle, rubbing your hands together in unholy glee. Anticipating the shrill change of tone; the look in Perrine's eyes as she realizes how badly she's fucked up. The petite french girl seems to lean away from Kent without moving, her outline almost graying out as you sense her scrambling away from the very *thought* of what Katherine just said. “INCEEEEEEEEEEST!” Perrine howls. “INCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!” Her eyes light with the fire of a holy avenger, and in a blinding blast of light she unleashes the full fell power of the Tonnere. Just before the sofa hits her in the goddamn face. You blink away the afterimages in time to find a crawling Perrine being pursued by a woozy Kent; who's stopping every four or five steps to re-orient on the french girl, advancing in loopy half-circles. If the fell fae is going to move, it'll be...… now. There he is, the beggar, creeping out a downstairs window towards the scene. Now's your chance. >PINCER ATTACK>I AM THE NIGHT>BRAAAAAVEHEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRT
>>38500809Ignore the hater Bentus. You're fine here.
>>38500866[Muffled Explosions, Barking, and I'M SORRRY's in the distance]
>>38500897>>I AM THE NIGHT
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHTWE ARE SEANMAN, SLAYER OF FAE
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHT
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHTDamn you, planefag, I have finals tomorrow.
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHTWe're Oirish, not Scottish.
>>38500807She'll be fine, I made Hornet watch her. What's the worst that could fucking happen.
>>38500897>>BRAAAAAVEHEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTlike their is any other choice
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHTOR THE DAY, AS THE CASE MAY BE.
>>38500897>BRAAAAAVEHEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTis this even a choice?
>>38500993If corgis were tanks....
>>38500897Why not all three?
>>38500912What amazes me about Bentus guy is, he's been following my writing since my first thread on THP, and that blows my fucking mind. I don't think I'll ever get used to actually having readers. It's just too strange.
>>38500897>I AM THE NIGHThttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4SpBu4DAdM
>>38500993I have stolen your image, good sir.Damn it's good.
>>38500984>What's the worst that could fucking happen.>Hornet has a nuke>And is watching Willie>10 minures later
>>38500912Approved #swq namefags and tripfags onlyThis does not include fluff
>>38500976>having that screencap as a reaction imageThat's literally the first thing I did when I saw that page, too. You're good people.
>>38500984>What's the worst that could fucking happen.
>>38501016It shows you're better than you think you are.>>38501044Haters gonna hate. I'm having a good time here.
>>38501052get back to work
>>38500993>MEANWHILE, IN SWQ FRENCH INDO-CHINA
>>38501039Since when did Hornet have nukes?! Holy fucking shit that shitbag Settle was trying to sneak THAT shit by me? Me?! Fuck, oh man this is gonna be great. Wonder how much fucking damage one of those things could do.
CALLING IT FOR I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING NIIIIGHT>>38501082FUCK YOU DAD I'LL GATECAMP IN A TITAN IF I WANT TO
>>38501016We're all actually the same person, so there.
No 4chan I am not a bot. I just command one. Muthafuckas. BRAVEHEART IS THE ONLY CHOICE. If not for captchaI might see if I can get bot to post. heh. All shit from the shout db...hmmmmm
>>38501108The hell did you think the black arrow was, a backscratcher?
>>38501108I'm pretty sure Hornet has the Doolittle raid and not a nuke. Still, I probably would have tracked down Nagato and thrown Willie and Sammie at her instead. She seems to know how to deal with destroyers and such.So, what are you doing here with the witchy sluts?
>>38501077And faggots are going to be raging fagmotrons. WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO?
>>38501202I'd hit her like a nuke, if you know what I mean.
>>38501124Buy it a 4cans pass
>>38501224find me a straight, red blooded american male who wouldn't
>>38501202Stalking the admiral. He gets worried if he doesn't fuckin see me or hear from me for a while. The asshole has no faith. Keeps thinking I'll try to mate a fuckin main battery gun from one of the girls to an M-16 lower. I keep tellin him I'd have to fuckin custom fab a lower, he won't listen. Kinda hopin one of the yamato class comes back soon though, cos i mean, fuck, if I'm gonna try, I'mma try with the biggest fuckin gun i can get ahold of.
>>38501235No. FUck That shit. Thats for twats,
>>38501273I'd Fab Musashi's lower, if you know what I mean
>>38501273Well, they just found the Musashi, so that's something.
>>38501273>main battery gun from one of the girls to an M-16 lower.This actually seems like a good idea. Then they'd be able to do something with their hands instead of just waving them about in combat.
>>38501273Hey, Sergeant, does the US Navy also hold practice battles between its shipsluts?
>>38501360>Let's tear off one of the guns from a freaky spiritual ghost shipNo anon this seems like a terrible idea
>>38501273Yo, Hate! I read somewhere that you were ditching your new rank insignia in favor for your old corporal ones since you felt the promotion was the first step in dragging you from the front to a desk job. What rank have they tried to pin on you?
>>38501407>terrible ideathat just means it's the BEST idea and will ensure it works because reasons, planefag, /tg/, and 4chan
>>38501338That and Musashi was found right side up. I haven't seen all the pics of it, but I think she still has her main guns still in their slots. The fact she didn't roll while sinking is amazing.
>>38501273What do you get when you cross an orangutan with a marine?
>>38501482an Airforce pilot
>>38501482Navy enlisted?Army Officer?Amercian South Sherriff?
>>38501482ur mum lol
>>38501477What? Have you watched the video they released? The turrets are gone.
>>38501561Then we know where they went, don't we Corporal Hate?
>>38501482A Navy woman's wet dream.
>>38501334I'd say I would too, but that fuckin shit will come back to bite me in the dick. >>38501360It ain't for them. What, you think I'm some Fuckin bullshit POG armorer?>>38501386I'll fuckin stab you. Right, I've put in my time. Time to go find Willie before she fucks something up. Got something for the sad sack to fuckin do anyway.
>>38501482A mentally handicapped orangutan.
>>38501561I hadn't see it yet. Shit, I have to go find it then. Ah well, at least it landed upright after all.
>>38501628>something for the sad sack to fuckin do anywaywhat can you possibly come up with her to do that won't result in an explosion?
>>38501687She is now to babysit some grade schoolers on the island. She has been told they were assigned to her as her crew.The island may burn down to bedrock, be nuked, and invaded by martians, but none of those kids will have a scratch on them.
>>38501738You're right. They'll just all be arrested and locked up by the USMC.
>>38501775Only if she listens to them. Willie's a good girl who got in with a bad crowd.
>>38501832>Only if she listens to themlistening to marines is never a good idea
>>38501775You forgot the part where they accidentally try to assassinate the President.
>>38501933A little late there.
The fiend is creeping towards the woozy women with a large dustbin in his hands, probably for carrying his victim after he's snatched them. You could always wait and ambush the fucker when he comes back in a few days to return Perrine – you can't imagine the fae are stupid enough to keep her – but there's no reason to kick the can down the road.Young might be a stupid, insane blowhard asshole, but he IS good at what he does – and he has indeed taught you the fine art of the Bounce. Without word or warning, you must dive into the attack on the unsuspecting foeman below you. Not the hero the English want, but the one they fucking *deserve*. A silent hunter. A wrathful guardian.A Yankee Knight. You and Triath leap from the rooftop and into your attack.
>>38501995>>38502002Can't be helped.
>>38502014You and superpig smash into the leafy canopy as one, ripping through the twigs and branches feet-first, angling your toes to glance off the heavier branches and breaking clean through the thin ones as you plummet through the old maple. You and Triath explode from the bottom of the canopy in a shower of shattered twigs and swirling leaves, landing on your feet and pitching into a forward roll to break the fall. Triath lands a second after you, squealing with alarm, and you pitch yourself flat beneath him, breaking the fall of his well-padded body with your own ow FUCK that smarts. The changeling fae stands before you, staring at you with the confusion of those unused to The Night. You thrust one finger forth and with your other, you blow your bugle for all you're worth, sounding the hunting cry! Triath rolls off your back and onto his feet before charging after the fae at a full gallop, his floppy spotted ears bouncing and jouncing eagerly as he begins the chase. You're close behind him, screaming bloody murder as you unsheathe your blade and take up pursuit.
>>38502042If he makes it around the house three times counter-clockwise, he'll escape to Underhill. You must put him six *feet* under peat before that happens. Halfway around the house, Triath comes screeching to a halt, sucking up his short legs and crashing into the earth by way of breaking. He skids a few feet on the wet grass before he stops moving, and freezes; floppy ears cocked for sound. You hold your breath, trusting Traith's porcine instinct for sniffing out slop. “-SEND EVERYONE!” a shrill voice is saying desperately. “THERE'S A FRENCH WITCH TEARING UP MY HOME, AND A YANKEE-IRISHMAN MARAUDER WITH A SWORD!” You espy a windowsill that's open a few inches. Suspicious, you check the flowerbed beneath it and find a footprint that's changeling-sized. You peek through the window and discover a dapper older English gent wailing into a telephone. “I PLAYED BRIDGE WITH YOUR FATHER FOR TWENTY FUCKING YEARS, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!” he screams into the phone. “I STILL HAVE CONNECTIONS IN PLACES YOU CAN'T IMAGINE! I CAN RUIN. YOUR. LIFE!” The man is shivering with emotion now. “HELP ME, OR SO HELP ME GOD I'LL SHIT IN YOUR DREAMS!”A rather irritated voice replies curtly, barely too quiet to comprehend. “CONVINCED? YOU'RE NOT CONVINCED?” The English gent screams, growing a little hoarse now. “WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE?”Scanning the room, you spot the closet door behind the distraught man hanging open an inch. You caaarefully slide the window upwards, the Englishman on the phone unable to hear it over the dubious voice coming over the old-fashioned handset. Then you lean over, scoop up Triath's incredible bulk in both arms, and steel your wide-shouldered country-boy frame for the toss. “HUP!” you hiss, waving Triath at the window. “HUP! HOOOOOOOO!”
Triath sails through the open window and lands with a room-shuddering THUD, his hooves gripping the fancy old carpet frimly. The changeling bursts from the closet just as you fling one leg through the window, blasting on your bugle to sound the charge anew. The Englishman is simply thrusting the handset at you while pointing violent with his free hand, as if his conversation partner can see the gesture. You hear your bloodhog oinking loudly at the other end of the house, and round the hallway corner just in time to see Triath slamming through the bottom half of the back door so hard the wooden panel is simply shattered by his thick skull. Skidding in the wet grass outside, you see the changeling waiting for you by another obsolete artillery piece, one the crews hadn't even set up yet before running to witness the catfight. You charge him, sounding alarums on your bugle, your broadsword out and waving Triath into the charge.Then the cheeky sonofabitch kicks the chocks out from the cannon's wheel. As it begins to roll down a gentle slope, you feel something catch your foot and quite promptly you're flying through the air. >RIDE THE DRAGON>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALID
>>38502068>If he makes it around the house three times counter-clockwise, he'll escape to Underhill.
>>38502114>RIDE THE DRAGONIt's confirmed, Young's madness is contagious.It's gotten Sean, probably spread to the witches, and warps Barin to this day.
>>38502114>>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALID
>>38502114>RIDE THE DRAGON
>>38502114>>RIDE THE DRAGON>>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDyup, ride the dragon while sword waving to catch the bastard
>>38502114>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALID
>>38502114>>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDDo the Sakamoto!
>>38502114>>RIDE THE DRAGON
>>38502114>>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDYOU AREN'T GETTING AWAY THAT EASY
>>38502114>RIDE THE DRAGONIt started out perfect and it just got better.
>>38502114>RIDE THE DRAGON>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDIt's all or nothing!
>>38502114>RIDE THE DRAGONWe're powerful beast master, no metal ride is going to scare us.Unless it's a drone B-17, that is.
>>38502159>>38502196We're attached to the cannon, numbnuts. We can't do both; "Ride The Dragon" means riding the cannon down to the bottom of the hill, "I have a sword" means cutting ourselves free and resuming the chase.
>>38502114I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDNOT SO FAST, FOUL FAE
>>38502114>>RIDE THE DRAGONI AM THE DRAGON!!!MY BREATH IS FLAME! MY VOICE IS THUNDER! MY SWING IS DEATH! TREMBLE BEFORE ME!
>>38502231While I'm pleased you figured out the vote, I find your trust in the character's capacity for logic charming.
>>38502231We can ride the cannon and use it to chase the fae with our sword.You know, the standard operating procedure.Duh.
>>38502114RIDE.THE.MOTHERFUCKING.DRAGON> PLanebot agrees!!!BOT HATH SPOKEN!
>>38502114>>I HAVE A SWORD, YOUR TRAP IS INVALIDfoul fae shall not escape usssss
i have so missed swq tier shenaningans
>>38502252>>38502259Cannon Heavy.Cannon goes down hill.Fae stays at top of hill.We cannot use cannon to chase fae.
>>38502252I trust that even if we ride the dragon, the sword will see action
>>38502302>Not using cannon shot as propulsionYour lack of gnome is disturbing.
>OTHERRIDE THE DRAGON TO THE TOP THEN CUT OURSELVES FREE SO WE ARE LAUNCHED STRAIGHT TO THE FAE
>>38502302>We cannot use cannon to chase faeLies! we are a gnome master of WEAPONS. If we want it to go uphill, it will because sparkle bullshit.
RIDING THE GODDAMN DRAGON IT IS, WOO HOO
>>38502347GODDAMMIT WE'RE GONNA DIE
>>38502391OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH!
>>38502391We'll be fine.
>>38500912The Unbound appreciate your support.>>38501016To be fair, at the time I was but a Tradeship.I thought appropriate to "level up" with the passing time.But yes, I do enjoy your writing quite a bit. It helps that I share the long, long memory of the Unbound. Where others might I forgotten, I remembered.I also seem to have the interesting quirk of always finding myself reminiscing over your tales a day or two before your came back to them.
You reach out and manage to catch Triath by one of his hind legs as you're flipped upside down by the snare 'round your boot. Triath must weigh a zillion pounds; his front feet don't even leave the ground. The tree the snare-rope's anchored in is no seventy-footer, and with the added weight of bloodhog added it keeps your arc of ascent low. Very low. In fact, with Triath's hoof in your stern grip, you're actually flying OVER the ground more than you're flying upwards towards the tree. You bellow with glee, waving your sword at the changeling, and release Triath at just the right time. Before the fae can run for it, you slam into him and catch him, wrapping your arms about his torso as you both fly up into the tree. A few woozy seconds later, you discover yourself hanging upside-down in the thick of the canopy. Your broadsword is still in your hand, the basket-hilt having caught the heel of your hand before falling. Above you, you see someone's thoughtfully added a thick stick to the rope just shy of the snare, so you wouldn't snap your foot off upon encountering the fork in the tree's trunk where the rope was laid. Looking up – well, down – you discover the wicked fae hanging onto a branch a foot or two below you. He's staring you in the eyes, and he looks displeased. “YOU. STUPID. IMPULSIVE. FUCK. HEAD,” he says – doesn't shout – says in audible Capital Letters. “WHY. DON'T. YOU. THINK.” >NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.>WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH FAE.
>>38502504I do wonder where our Keinefag is. He did swear to remind planefag of AWiY every thread.It refers to the Touhou-Project image board, where planefag first wrote his tales as Demetrious.
>>38502551>>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.
>>38502551>>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.Yup, we drive it all home
>>38502551>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITTLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.
>>38502551>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.
>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.I don't think we're quite Young-tier bugfuck- yet- but we are rather irate.
>>38502551>WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH FAE.DO NOT LET IT SPEAK. IT WILL BEWITCH YOU WITH ITS SILVER TONGUE.
>>38502551>>WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH FAE.
>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.
>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.>>38502608Quite irate.
>>38502551>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.We cannot pull a Young.We must put aside our insanity, and tear our younger brother to pieces, we must face the truth! We will not hide and cry like Young!We will call our younger sibling an idiot, and use our powers to destroy his military career if that's what it takes!Or we'll drag him to Barin after we gnaw his ears off and hook him up with Robin!
>>38502551>>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPERENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.I can say as a younger brother that doing stupid things IS something we can do very well.
VOTE CALLED BECAUSE OF OVERWHELMING TRENDBUT FEEL FREE TO PISS INTO THE WIND IF YOU WANT AFTER THIS POST THAT'S COOL TOO
>>38502671>I DONT NEGOTIATE WITH QM'S
>>38502551>NICE TRY CHANGELING, BUT IF YOU WERE REALLY MY LITTLE BROTHER, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THAT AFTER APPARENTLY FUCKING LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE AND SIGNING UP, WOULD YOU? BECAUSE MY LITLE BROTHER, BLESS HIS SOUL, WAS FUCKING SMART, AND YOU ARE DUMB.
>>38502647I can say as an older brother TRUST US WE KNOW.
>>38502641the worst fate for him!
>>38502671voting to piss in the wind. the fae do not like urine upon the breeze, nor little brothers piddle upon their heads.
>>38502682speaking of which, where is the mouse? I have not heard from him in ages.
>>38502682It is the responsibility of the younger sibling to do dumb shit, and it is the responsibility of the older sibling to make sure they don't kill themselves doing it.
>>38502682Granted, my older bother is EQUALLY capable of pulling stupid shit just as often as me.
>>38502682As both younger AND elder, I concur.>>38502705Unfortunately, I did find myself making sure my elder brother didn't kill himself doing something stupid at least once.I cannot concur with that.
>>38502641Robin would break him! she played football!
>>38502700Hiding from you. Honestly, can't say I blame him.>TANKS WHEN MOUSEand>stupid lewd shit all the fucking time!Christ, if I were him I'd have gone innawoods and never come back.
>>38502736all the better! this is a punishment, not a reward for him!
>>38502682Bring Maus to heel, bring Maus to heel.
>>38502736At some cushy witch academy!
>>38502744He and I are talking about doing a thru-hike of the AT or CDT next year. So kinda!
>>38502790Good to hear then.
>>38502671I shall unleash the mighty storm from my pants.Wake the slumbering world serpent and tame the wind with the might of its torrent.ODICKFORCE!
>>38502782yeees keep going!
>>38502790Bring extra food and water (ALWAYS). Sounds like fun though. Been too long since my last hike.
>>38502814Can't, don't know what or where Robin's school is.
>>38502849>my penis is so huge, when I piss into the wind, I win>vague Marvel reference
>>38502903Oh I got it.
>>38502850make it up
>>38502835or you could just bring a Kuntala
“HA!” you exclaim. “Nice try, you silver-tongued changeling fuckwaffle. But you can't possibly be my little brother.” “Because I just kicked your ass?” “No, no,” you say smoothly. “Because my little brother is clever, and quick, and understands irony, so he'd never accuse me of being impulsive after having LIED ABOUT HIS FUCKING AGE TO ENLIST EVEN THOUGH HIS WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY TOLD HIM NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT!” The changeling blinks. “Um.”You reach out and SEIZE that son-of-a-bitch, hoisting him up to look you eye-to-inverted-eye. “AND MY LITTLE BROTHER, ROY MOTHERFUCKING ROARKE, IS A BRAVE SON OF OUR CLAN AND A BOXER OF PROMISE AND RENOWN WHO WINS ALL HIS ROUNDS *WITHOUT* MIMICKING OTHERS, *WITHOUT* PARALASIS STINGS AND WITHOUT A METRIC ASSFUCKTON OF FUCKING OVERPOWERED FANCY-SHMANCY FAE *BULLSHIT!*”
>>38503276The fell creature seizes your ears and slams your forehead into his chin so your eyeballs are almost touching. “Only because Ma would've muuuuurdered me if I used my true power,” he hisses, “but Ma ain't here, and if you fuck with me, you musclebound badgerfucking sheepwanker, I'll string you up from BIG FUCKING BEN!” “B-”“LOOK INTO MY EYES,” he says in allcaps again. “B-”“ARE YOU LOOKING?” “Fuck y-”“CAN YOU SEE THE LONG-AWAITED VENGEANCE INSIDE?” You're about to punch him in the jaw with the basket-hilt when the only possible thing on earth that could disrupt your conversation comes skirling up through the leaves. Bagpipes.
>>38503307https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=vBKBI7DOLHAA quick slash of your broadsword clears enough vegetation to reveal the source – a jeep winding up the country lane behind the house. The hedgerow enclosing the big manor has a small gate opening to a path which leads to what looks like a family crypt surrounded by associated flowerbeds, and the Jeep promptly stops at near it. Two men spring from the machine, hop the low fence and come charging up the lane at double-time; one swinging a Bren gun and the trailing man playing them in on his bagpipes – and he's pretty good, too.And they're both wearing kilts. You and Roy turn your faces back to one another.“You seeing this? Tell me you're seeing this shit.”“I am seeing this shit,” you confirm. The lead man kicks in the rickety wrought-iron gate; more decorative then substantive, and takes a stance on the corner of the lawn, his Bren gun trained at the house. He nods to his piper, who finishes his stanza, then falls silent. “ALL RIGHT, YOU RAMPAGING YANKEE MADMAN AND YOUR PORCINE PESTILINCE!” he bellows, a booming bass voice that rings with authority. “THEY CALL ME SHIMI MACSHIMIDAH, ALSO KNOWN AS SIMON CHRISTOPHER, LORD OF LOVAT, BARON BESIDES, CHIEF OF CLAN FRASER, AND IF YOU DON'T COME OUTTA THERE WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, I'LL SEND YA TO EISENHOWER IN A MATCHBOX, YOU READ ME!?” His eyes are blazing, and from his expression you can tell he makes no idle threat.
>>38503307>Bagpipes.Jack is back!
>>38503348>LORD OF LOVATProperly speaking, the title is "The Lord Lovat". No 'of'.
“FAG LOURDE OF DE LOO~” Roy mutters. “CHIEFTAN OF CLAN FRAIDYCAT. HOW,” you snort in reply, and reach out towards the rope, where it wraps around the trunk to angle towards the tethered cannon. You begin tapping it with the tip. Lourde Fag of Fraser is quick to notice the thrumming rope, and his piper and he slowly follow the rope up to the tree with their eyes, before slowly sliding over to discover you and Roy. You both wave cheerfully. “OI OI NICE OF YOU TO VIST OL CHAPS,” Roy says with a wave. “TWELVE BONG AND ALLA THAT, QUITE TIME FOR THE TEA-TIPPIN OI OI?” he pantomines a teacup to the flat stares of the two soldiers. “RIGHTO, RIGHTO, RUBBISH AND ALL THAT ROHWT,” you chime in, “PRAY TELL US FELLOWS, FOR WE'RE JUST A BIT TEENY MITE CURIOUS, ARE YOU RAGING FAGLOURDES FOR FUCKING REAL?” “... did that yank just call us gay boys?” the piper asks in slightly accented Scots Gaelic. “Look who's talking,” the Bren gunner replies, also in Scots Gaelic. “He's holdin that other chap close enough to-”“Two gay yanks, sittin in a tree,” the piper comments, “KAY I ESS ESS I EN GEE,” they drop their voices to whisper the English spelling. You and Roy exchange a glance.“Shall I?” “Be my guest,” you say with a dramatic flourish of the sword. Roy clears his throat as you drop him onto his branch again. He dangles from one armpit to free his diaprham from any constraining pressure and sucks in a deep lungful.“SORRY,” he screams in Irish Gaelic. “COULDN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND YOUR GAELIC, MUST'VE BEEN THE HAGGIS SAUSAGE IN YER MOUTHS!” You give the soldiers a polite little inverted salute, and then you slash through the snare – and the restraining branch – in one blow.
>>38503394Oh, right, I forgot the quinessential Scottish refrain; similar to the English refrain: "God, we USED to have property." forgive the ethnocentric yankee, for God will not
>>38503419I'm terrified, but curious.Planefag's quest are more horrifying than actual horror games.
NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES QUEST: EXIT, PURSUED BY A CANNON!SWQ WILL RESUME MONDAY OR TUESDAY, WITH SHIPSLUTS PROBABLY ON WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY. I HAVE TO WORK IN FIVE HOURS BUT FUCK THE POLICE THIS THREAD WAS AMAZING FUN TO WRITE I LOVE YOU GUYS HOLY SHIT
>>38503498I'll burn down your job site and lock you in your house.
>>38503498Cheers you glorious faggot
>>38503498Ok Paul Heyman calm down
>>38503498GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP YOU GODDAMN YANKI SHOULD SLEEP TOO BUT FUCK IT
>>38503498I had fun, and I'll be back when you are.Ride on, you crazy bastard.
>>38503498This was a great thread. The humor started early and didn't stop.
>>38503498REMEMBER, IF YOU ENJOYED MAKING EVEN HALF AS MUCH AS WE ENJOYED READING IT, WE ENJOYED IT TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU.
>>38503498We love you, too, Planefag. All the homo.Have fun, and thanks for the thread.
>>38503498The Unbound love you too. See you next time!
>>38503498Thanks for all the fun planefag!
>>38503498Love ya too, Boss Bro Planefag.Enjoy work!
>>38503498Thanks for the show, boss.
So, I'm confused. Is Roy an actual fairy-magic gnome or something?Or did Sean just lose 1d100 SAN?
>>38503498Nice work Planefag.By the way, I found this interesting Kancolle doujin called Memories of the Sea. It's not hentai. It elaborates on an origin for the ship girls that seemed very much like what you came up with for your quest:http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/kantai_collection_kancolle_memories_of_the_sea_doujinshi/bt/307454/Ch0/
>>38503614Does anyone that spends extended periods of time around Young have any SAN left to lose?
>>38503511oh my god PLEASE
>>38503653Is that a request or a challenge.
>>38503629Crix showed me that. It's literally my quest. Literally my damn shipsluts quest in one doujin. It's uncanny.
>>38503649That would imply any of them were sane to begin with.
>>38503672There is a sequel to it about how Naka arrived and then gained her whole idol shtick, but it's not translated yet.
>>38503653Would you enjoy the food put through the front door, or straight through the bedroom window?
>>38503659Which answer will get you to do it?
>>38498292>not boogie woogie bulge boyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qafnJ6mRbgkyour taste == shit
>>38503766>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qafnJ6mRbgkFuckin, calm down there, grandpa.
>>38503790What would a brain dead, water treading, NAVY FUCKWIT marine know about GOOD MUSIC?
“This place has a communal bath?” Anders blurted out incredulously. “Actually, no. Nevermind- I'm finding I'm easily impressed.” He'd managed to catch up the red-haired Southern pilot- the one who'd introduced himself by claiming he'd pantsed a witch.Granted it was his sister, but still. “Hell, son. These witches have everything.” He says. “Full kitchen and dining hall, gardens, library and a pool...” he says, counting off on his fingers. “I've only explored about half this place. I've heard there's a gym somewhere but I haven't been able to find it...”The two of them had been traveling steadily downwards through the castle. The place was absolutely massive- witches had typically held a position of great power through the ages and even two years through a history degree had taught Anders that with great power comes great wealth. Barin was an ostentatious display of that wealth- while it wasn't as large as Edinbourgh, it made up for the fact by being perhaps one of the single most fortified places in the world- built centuries before on the foundations of an old offshore Roman fortress, (Some scholars had even declared the old fortress the ancient progenitor of the legend of Camelot...) it had still shrugged off a major Martian air raid with nothing more than some broken windows and a few cracked and cratered walls only a few hours earlier.“This place has a communal bath?” Anders blurted out incredulously. “Actually, no. Nevermind- I'm finding I'm easily impressed.” He'd managed to catch up the red-haired Southern pilot- the one who'd introduced himself by claiming he'd pantsed a witch.Granted it was his sister, but still. “Hell, son. These witches have everything.” He says. “Full kitchen and dining hall, gardens, library and a pool...” he says, counting off on his fingers. “I've only explored about half this place. I've heard there's a gym somewhere but I haven't been able to find it...”
>>38503739Where do you want the HE, friend
>>38503847The two of them had been traveling steadily downwards through the castle. The place was absolutely massive- witches had typically held a position of great power through the ages and even two years through a history degree had taught Anders that with great power comes great wealth. Barin was an ostentatious display of that wealth- while it wasn't as large as Edinbourgh, it made up for the fact by being perhaps one of the single most fortified places in the world- built centuries before on the foundations of an old offshore Roman fortress, (Some scholars had even declared the old fortress the ancient progenitor of the legend of Camelot...) it had still shrugged off a major Martian air raid with nothing more than some broken windows and a few cracked and cratered walls only a few hours earlier.“Well, here's the hanger...” Chuck said as they came to a relatively small door into the massive hanger facility- One of the more recent additions, historically speaking. It had been converted from a large storage room, larder and three levels of barracks space before being armored and reinforced between the wars.
>>38503877“I HEAR YOU.” A bellowing scream echoed throughout the great space, its deafening volume causing it to bounce back and forth through the great hanger, displacing its source across the beams of the ceiling. Anders felt a slight breeze and, as he turned to look at Chuck again, the pilot was gone.A moment later, a familiar red-headed witch that Anders took to be Chucks sister appeared from behind a stack of crates, hair damp and clothes soggy. Before pointing a single, accusing finger at Anders. “WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT LITTLE FUCK?! I WILL DESTROY HIM. I WILL EAT HIS FUCKING SOUL.”
>>38503808See, i know what the fuck you're thinking. You're thinking 'this hate dude is a fuckin idiot marine, he's gonna fuckin link the fuckin hymn' fucking no. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYXwBhLOAyMFuck yeah. Some pac to start yo day motherfucker
>>38503909He opened his mouth. Then he closed it again. Then he opened it. “I...”She held up a single finger. “Shush...” Her head snaps around, pointing an ear towards the doorway. “He can't run far enough...” She smiles and Anders felt that any normal man would be voiding his bowels and bladder at that moment. “And I know all the places he can hide...”Anders stepped out of her way as she moved past him- a wise decision as she stalked around the corner, looking both ways before choosing a direction and committing to it. Besides, that was his Lightning over there.And Chuck? Man, Chuck was fucked.Chuck was fucked.
>>38503808FISH IN THE WATER WAR SHOTS FIRED
>>38503847Oh, shit yes!About fucking time, writefag.
>>38503938~*~“Genie wait...” Lynette started...“Lynn, stay behind me.” Her older sister had positioned herself between her sister and the hissing, facsimile of a bull. She'd heard of these- an infiltration robot. They were inserted deep into human territory during a campaign to cause chaos and terror among the civilian populace.And somehow, one had managed its way into Barin. These machines were meant to terrorize untrained civilians- a combat-trained witch of the Bishop family would be another matter entirely. As she squared off with the machination, it hissed slowly and deeply, pawing the ground in front of it and lowering its head in challenge.
>>38503944Stop tryin to instigate, skipper. You know I'm the most laid back motherfucker ever.
>>38503971“Ole, you overgrown toaster oven.” She said, letting her magic flow. “Come and get it!” And with that, the Hellcow charged, hissing with unleashed fury towards its challenger. As its skull connected with the witch, though, she grabbed the horns and with her magically augmented strength turned the beasts momentum against it, lifting it upwards and, after a few backwards steps, throwing it back over her shoulder and through the air before it smashed roughly into one of the floor-to-ceiling book cases, causing hundreds of pounds of books and wood to collapse over onto the creature.Genie allowed herself a smile before turning back to her younger sister. “Are you okay, Lynn?” But her sister had already covered half the distance to the pile of heavy oak shelving and books that had buried the Martian war machine.“Lynn, no!” Genie called, but Lynn was already throwing debris from the creature as it pulled itself from the rubble. It didn't have a mark on it, but as it looked from Lynnette to Genie, it seemed to hold one of its front hooves up, waving it as though hurt.
>>38503972But Master Chief, you threatened to stab me in >>38501628. I was just asking a simple question, which you haven't answered yet >>38501386.
>>38503972>most laid back motherfucker everBlatant lies, along with 'Mutsu did not sink because of a fuckwit sailor that caused an explosion,' 'Young is sane,' and 'Willie is not an accident prone gal because she has all the best luck in forever.'Did some alium psyonics mess you up, son?
>>38504001“Are you okay?” Lynn said, giving the creature a huge around its neck. “Genie! Help me get him uncovered.” Genie blinked, opening her mouth to say something. All she could manage was a flat, single syllable.“What?”~*~They got rid of my fucking subject line. That annoys the hell out of me- I couldn't make comments or say shit like "Thunder and Lightning 27".Or link to the pastebin for this chapter. (http://pastebin.com/X2Axszqv)Or link to the pastebin for the rest of the writefagging. (http://pastebin.com/u/LegioCI)Fuck, I'm angry now.
>>38503914You win this time, Hate. I'll find a way under that skin.Even amongst the cesspit of braindead idiocy of the Marine Corps, there exist those individuals who actually have a brain.We'll see which kind of Marine you really are.Just don't forget to remember that the Navy writes your paychecks.
>>38504050I bet you think you're fuckin cute, callin me all kinds of wrong ranks and shit. I bet you fuckin think that's original or some fucking shit, too, don't you?
>>38504062Good update, Writefag. Looking forward to your next update.
>>38503629Man, this is good stuff. I can see why Planefag feels like it resonates.
>>38504072Yes. So, returning to my question, does the US Navy practice it?
>>38504129they've got 4 girls, hardly enough of a pool to select and match similar girls for wrestling.I'm waiting for Enterprise to show up and wrestle the majority of the Jap carriers into submission though
>>38504062hangar, not hanger
>>38504062>couldn't make comments or say shit like "Thunder and Lightning 27".You use the options box for that now
>>38504214Well fuck. I stop writing for like 3mo and everything fucking changes.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV0wTtiJygY
>>38504062I've been waiting for more Thunder and Lightning. See you next thread.
>>38504191They could go ahead, roll with the mismatches (like, throw everyone else at Arizona), and call it "dissimilar combat training" like the Air Force does.
>>38504313>like the Air ForceSon, this is the Navy.
>>38504191Willie D and Sammy could wrestle though. I guess that might be a little creepy come to think of it. But are there only four US girls? I thought they had more around. Well, besides Harder.
>>38504376>Willie D and SammyWhy do you not see this as the recipe for disaster that it obviously is?Harder is busy coming to grips with how he accidentally as a gentleman with that one light cruiser
>>38504355Speaking of the Navy, where's the other writefag?
>>38504467Which one? The Prune Barge guy? Has he posted post-Return?
>>38504355Oh, sorry. I made a mistake. I checked Wikipedia. The Navy was the one that came up with the "dissimilar air combat training" term during 1968.
>>38504489Yeah, him. I think he did, once.
>>38504444Well obviously. Sammy and Willie D are completely different. I just thought it would be more creepy for a bunch of 18+ sailors watch what would essentially be a pair of young girls mud wrestle in real life.
>>38504502Wasn't it part of the whole 'back to dogfighting' thing they did?
>>38504545I'm more concerned about them blowing up everything within a few miles on accident than grown men perving on early adolescents
>>38504586I don't know how a pair of unarmed little girls could cause an explosion in a mud pit...but I'm sure planefag could pull it off somehow. So I'll reluctantly agree.
Special thing from me next can'tcolle thread.
>>38504631They aren't unarmed little girls, they're warships
>>38504586We're worried about both. Besides, how the fuck does wrestling have a damn thing to do with anyfuckingthing they're expected to do in combat. it fucking doesn't. Shit's demeaning. They're better served with more fucking range time.
>>38504562Pretty much. >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissimilar_air_combat_trainingI think the Israelis went the opposite way. The IAF likes gun kills way too much.>>38504635Yay!>>38504653Thank you for answering my question, Corporal.
>>38504651Whose weapons come off of them or disappear of whatever the fuck they happen to do in planefags world. I doubt they'd make them wrestle with cannons and torpedo's in the way.
>>38504631>cause an explosionI'll remind you Willie started a fire trying to tie her shoes in the first thread>>38504653>how the fuck does wrestling have a damn thing to do with anyfuckingthing they're expected to do in combat.Please tell me they have daggers or something so they can defend themselves from the enemy if they run out of ammo and are overtaken while retreating. CQC training would be important then, and it would give them exercise.
>just caught up to the last Sean-quest thread>See a shipslut pic>HAHA TIME TO DERAIL THE THREAD>www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaYchEJBZMY
>>38504713>Daggershahahaha, ahahahaha! Fucking, what the fuck do you fucking think a sucking DAGGER is gonna do to an armored citadel? not a fucking thing! Did you not see the shit Arizona was shooting? those are armor peircing, ballistic cap shells! 'close' to these girls is 8000 yards! a fucking dagger. hahahaha, oh man.
>>38504815I guess you should ask Tenryuu and her sister about their melee weapons when you see them next.
>>38504713REMEMBER THE BASICS OF CQC
>>38504815What about a dagger with a hi-frequency vibration or monomolecular blade?
>>38504815Oi, oi, corporal, what d'ya think of them Russian shipgirls? Do Potemkin and Kirov have good stuff to show against the abyssal threat?
>>38504925Is it 8000m long? If not, it's probably never going to be relevant.
>>38504925Ya know what, maybe when we get those kinds of things, fucking sure. We'll issue them to the girls. But we don't right fucking now. >>38504881Probably some stupid jap WARRIOR SPIRIT SAMURAI HONOR bullshit. I'll ask them next time I see them. We'll fucking see what they say.
>>38504925>hi-frequency vibrationBritannian Knightmare pilot pls>monomelecular bladeSagara pls
>>38504973Oh fuck son, when the Russians have their shipbitches showing up, L feel bad for them. Look all malformed and mutated and fucked up, probably. Like Igor or the thing or some shit. And probably fucking not. You ever seen their naval history? It ain't good, man. It really fucking ain't.
>>38504997>not sailing closer so you can hit them with your sword
>>38505058Cpl, if the PT Boats are corgis, are the e-boats dachshunds?
>>38504997>>38505023Then how about modified plasma cutting torches, the real-life beam sabers? Since ship girls are ships in human form, they would have the electrical power to run a thousands-degrees hot blade.>>38505058The US Navy lent some ships to the Russians during WW2. One of them was USS Milwaukee, who served as the Murmansk. When the US Navy got her back, she was just as rusty and rat-infested as the surviving Japanese ships.
>>38505177Pal, just give em a standard-issue Heat Hawk. Problem solved.>Bernie Wiseman intensifies
>>38505202That works. Heat hawk for Sammy, and heat ladder/bucket for Willie Dee?
>>38505177Do you have some sort of fucking fixation on SUPER HONORABU HAND TO HAND COMBAT? Shit's overrated. Arizona can punch a main battery shell out to 33 fucking klicks, and you're here on about hand to fucking hand combat. No. we don't fucking issue the ships hand to hand gear. It's fucking stupid to bring a knife to a fucking gunfight, It's just as fucking stupid to try and get a gunfighter to turn into a fucking swordsman. >>38505131Probably.
>>38505268>Heat bucketHue.Personally Willie D would stick to something that an RB-79 would use.
>>38505342Not to mention that any boarding action probably fulls under the category of "really fucking weird we're not sure why these girls are functioning as though they have a crew"
>>38505342Corporal, is the navy still thinking about arming shipgirls with Velocitas Eradico?
>>38505342Yes. If possible, I want to mount bayonets on Arizona's naval rifles.
>>38505398Fucking EXACTLY. We like to bullshit about fucking, like, longboats and LHDs and LHAs and shit, but we haven't seen a single troop carrying warship come back yet, so that's all we're fucking doing. Just bullshitting around.
>>38505445You sound really stupid you know that? They were thousands of goddamn yards away.
>>38505463Hey corporal, the Shin'yo class fast boats, did they come back as well?
>>38505484A man can dream about bayoneting fleeing enemies in their backs. But all right, I'll simmer down now.
>>38505582They are boats.I know there was an abyssal torpedo ram, but ramming is not actually in style
>>38505598Jean Luc Picard begs to disagree.
Jolly good thread