These are the closing days of the 41st millennium, and they are dark days indeed.Abbadon's 13th Black Crusade has struck a major blow against the fortress world of Cadia, the stronghold barring the heretics and warp-spawn of the Eye of Terror from the rest of the galaxy; the Necrons continue to reawaken across the galaxy, spreading death and fear wherever they appear; the Tyranid Hive Fleets are slowly, but surely, closing in on Holy Terra; the Tau Empire continues to expand, propelled onwards by the pursuit of their 'Greater Good'; the Orks have begun to band together in preparation for a united, galaxy-wide WAAGH!; and the Eldar grow more and more desperate as their numbers dwindle and their empire crumbles.For more than a hundred centuries, the God-Emperor has sat, unmoving, upon the Golden Throne of Holy Terra, His deathless state maintained by the daily sacrifice of a thousand souls. Even in His eternal undeath, however, the Emperor's Will is made manifest in the form of the Astronomicon, which lights the way for Imperial ships as they travel through the hellish immaterium known by many as the Warp.But the God-Emperor, it seems, is dying. The Golden Throne that sustains Him is constantly degrading, creeping ever nearer to failure, and the guiding light of His Astronomicon has begun to flicker.System is D100 (best of three), roll-under, with highly simplistic modifiers and skill-levels. The dice won't be used an awful lot. Except for when they will be, which is, y'know, combat.Natural 1 = Critical Success.Natural 100= Critical Failure.Crits override non-crits. Critical Failures negate Critical Successes and vice versa; Critical Failures negate five Degrees of Success; Critical Successes mitigate five Degrees of Failure.To succeed on an average, unremarkable, completely neutral-in-terms-of-everything skill test, you have to roll UNDER 40. That is, 39 or lower.(This system is subject to change if it turns out to be terrible)
YOU are Bellatrix Curis, Novice Battle-Sister, and, if you do say so yourself, this crazed-chicken you've prepared is quite good. A frakking masterpiece, even- at least when one considers that you cooked it over an open fire (a fire in a hole in the ground, no less) with no spices and no prior experience cooking crazy-chicken-meat.Alirye, your pointy-eared companion, is sitting smack dab in the middle of the clearing you've set up camp in, presumably because she wants to be as far away from the trees of the spooky forest as possible. She didn't eat as much of the crazy-chicken-meat as you- when you asked, she pointed out that she's not quite as... 'bulky' as you are, and assured you that she had eaten plenty.…You still don't know what planet you're on. Hell, you don't even know what /sector/ you're in. You don't know why you're here. You don't know why you're here with a xenos witch- nor do you know, for that matter, why she seems so... human. There's no way she's any less human than those really big abhumans- Ogryn, you think they were called- and she certainly doesn't eat babies (if she can't even eat half of a crazed chicken, then there's no way she could eat a whole baby).You finish off the last of the meat just as the sun is setting, offer a quick prayer to the God-Emperor. Alirye seems to notice this, and, after you finish your prayer, she says, “You pray to your... Emperor... an awful lot.”You nod. “My faith is my shield.”[1/2]
“... Is your 'God-Emperor' not dying- if not dead? Why would he devote so much as a moment to hearing your prayers?” She pauses. “Even if he did, how could be possibly answer them?”…You take a deep breath and tell yourself that she does not mean to insult Him. Repeating this to youself a few times, you control your urge to slap her for blaspheming. She is not malicious, insofar as you can ascertain. Only curious. Ignorant.>Educate her. Show her the Emperor's Light!>Ask if her people have gods. Keep the conversation balanced.>Ask the Emperor to show her a sign.>Change the subject (to what?)>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38174741>Educate her. Show her the Emperor's Light!
>>38174741>Educate her. Show her the Emperor's Light!LET ME PREACH HIS NAME
>>38174741>Ask if her people have gods. Keep the conversation balanced.For now.
>>38174741>Ask if her people have gods. Keep the conversation balanced.The Emperor would never forgive her for being a xeno anyway.
>>38174741>>Educate her. Show her the Emperor's Light!
>>38174741>Same way your race is sooooo great and dying.*sassy black woman snapping fingers* Mhhhhmmmmmm~
>>38174741>>>Educate her. Show her the Emperor's Light!
>>38174874>>38174909>>38175121>>38175229>Dispel her ignorance!>>38174948>>38175082Ask about /her/ gods!>>38175185Sass her.Okay, writing!I gave the first vote an extra ~10 minutes or so to let anons trickle in, the rest of the votes'll be 15 minutes or so.
>>38175241Can we get the sass as a bonus move?
>>38175275I considered it, but I'm not sure that you'd even know that the Eldar are dying out. Better safe than sorry an' what-not.
>>38174741>>Ask if her people have gods. Keep the conversation balanced.I wonder if we could become a Rogue Trader.What do you need to do that, again?
>>38175358A writ of trade and a lot of money. It's pretty much hereditary.
>>38175439Could anyone with a spaceship try doing it?
>>38175473You'd need to seriously impress someone seriously important. Some dynasties have their warrant signed by the Emperor himself.
>>38175473You could try. But a writ makes it legitimate in the eyes of most Imperial authorities. Getting a writ is extremely hard though if you're not born into it.
>>38175241Show her the pout when she still doesn't get it
>>38175745+ a Lho-Stick lighter under her hand if she jeers at what we're preaching.
You clear your throat, look Alirye in the eyes, and begin to preach.…“... Even after Horus had wounded Him and knocked Him down, the Emperor could not bring Himself to strike down His son. But, before Horus could strike the killing blow, a Guardsman- a mere mortal man- stepped between Horus and the mortally-wounded Emperor. That man was Saint Ollanius Pius, and, when Horus destroyed him, the Emperor saw that His son had given himself over completely to the Ruinous Powers. The Emperor smote Horus, completely and utterly destroying the traitor where he stood.”Alirye frowns. “This Pius guy sounds like an idiot.”You glare at her. “The courageous often are.”“... Sorry.” She coughs. “That was rude.”You nod. “Yes. It was...” you take a moment to recall where you were, then continue, “The Emperor was near death, so He was placed upon the Golden Throne, which sustains him even now. The Astronomican, the light by which Imperial ships navigate in the Warp, is a psychic manifestation of His will.” You gesture to the setting sun. “The Emperor is mankind's guiding light. His will dispels darkness and reveals the road ahead.” You shake your head. “That is why I pray to the Emperor, even though He is confined to the Golden Throne. Where are /your/ gods?”She sighs. “That... that is a story for another time, I think.” She glances up at the sky. “We should take turns sleeping,” she says, “to make sure we don't get murdered in the middle of the night.”“Sounds like a plan,” you agree.“Good. Do you want to take first watch, or shall I?”>Take first watch.>Take second watch; it's past your bedtime!>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38175926>>Something else? (TAKE ALL THE WATCH, TRUST NOT THE XENO.)
>>38175473>>38175633 they call that piracy unless you got that writ
>Take first watch
>>38175926>>Take first watch.
>>38175926>Take first watch.I-it's not to see if she's cute while sleeping!
>>38175926>Take first watch.
>>38175926>Take second watch; it's past your bedtime!She's already had plenty of rest from what we did to her.
How much sleep do Eldar need in comparison to humans?
>>38175944NEVER TRUST A XENO>>38175974>>38175988>>38176020>>38176048>First watch! It means you're more likely to get some extra shut-eye on the back half of the night~>>38176075Sure, I'll take wa-ZZZZZZOkay! I'll need three rolls, each with a different die!ROLL>1d2>1d10>1d100
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d2 + 1)>>38176290
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>38176290I'll do the ten!
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>38176290
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>38176290
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>38176290
Mikos or Nuns?
>>38176830We'll have nun of that here.
>>38176830Which sort of Nun are we talking about here, Catholic or Buddhist?
>>38176888I thought mikos were shinto
>>38176999That just means they really, really respect Machine Spirits in addition to the Emperor.
“I'll take first watch.” You give her your best reassuring smile.Judging by her reaction, your 'reassuring smile' is anything but. Either that, or being reassured causes her to blush furiously and blurt, “N-no funny business!”You blink, somewhat puzzled. It takes a moment for you to get what she's talking about. “I'm not gonna do anything to you while you're asleep.” It takes you another moment to get what she actually /means/.“Where's the fun in molesting you when you're not even awake to enjoy it?” You shake your head. “That's just crazy.”She stays silent for a few moments, before meekly asking, “... Promise?”You nod. “I promise.”The sun sinks completely past the horizon, Alirye lays down by the fire-hole, and the world slowly slips into darkness.You find yourself gazing skyward, admiring countless pinpricks of light that pierce the blackness of the night sky. After awhile, you accept that you don't recognize this sky at all. You're staring at strange stars from the surface of a strange world. Any one of those stars could be home.…That's not saying much, though. For all you know, any one of those stars could be Sol, the star around which Holy Terra orbits.…After... you don't even know how long, Alirye wakes up. You can see her checking herself over in the dim light of the fire... and you could swear that there's a ghost of a disappointed look on her face.“... Get some sleep, Bella,” she yawns. “Right.” You lay down and take the opportunity to watch her do stretches before finally drifting off to sleep. …You dream of all sorts of nice things. Alirye's butt, fire, the Emperor, what Alirye's butt looks like bare, Alirye shooting fire out of her butt, and so on and so forth.…[1/2]
“... -ella. Bella.” Something's shaking you. “Bella! Wake up!” Alirye hisses, her voice a harsh whisper.You open your eyes and notice immediately that it isn't morning.At least, not by the standards of the sky, which is still mostly dark.Alirye is kneeling beside you, shaking you and trying to wake you up.The realization that she wouldn't wake you up /this/ early for no reason perks you up almost immediately. “... What is it?” You whisper.Alirye glances over her left shoulder, then answers, “I'm not sure. But... I think it's human.”“Friendly?”“No idea.”You look in the same direction that she did, and you catch a glimpse of something.>A red robe, and perhaps an undulating mechadendrite. A Tech-priest?>A fancy hat. Even fancier than the Inquisitor's. A... better Inquisitor?>... Cat ears? What the frak? Maybe it's an abhuman?>A... you're not even sure what that is. It looks like some sort of primative weapon.>Something else? (Write-in!)>It's a captcha the QM forgot to do! Sorry 'bout that.
>>38177314>>A red robe, and perhaps an undulating mechadendrite. A Tech-priest?Tech-priest hype!
>>38177314>A red robe, and perhaps an undulating mechadendrite. A Tech-priest?
>>38177314>>A red robe, and perhaps an undulating mechadendrite. A Tech-priest?
>>38177314>... Cat ears? What the frak? Maybe it's an abhuman?
>>38177314>A fancy hat. Even fancier than the Inquisitor's. A... better Inquisitor?Can it be a Rogue Trader instead? I hear they can acquire fancy hats.
>>38177314>A red robe, and perhaps an undulating mechadendrite. A Tech-priest?Beep beep!
>>38177478>>38177446>>38177377>>38177366>>38177359Oh dear.>http://i.imgur.com/2T29n06.jpg nsfw
>>38177542No anon, bad. I don't want a robotics fetish too.
>>38177359>>38177366>>38177377>>38177446>>38177478>>38177568>Techpriestess is go!>>38177381>>38177500I'm honestly surprised you guys didn't try to force a tie to get a catgirl techpriestess.Truly, the Emperor protects.>>38177430So fancy...Okay! Writing!
>>38177711>Catgirl techpriestessWell, shit. We missed out.
>>38177711>I'm honestly surprised you guys didn't try to force a tie to get a catgirl techpriestess.I thought about it, but the two concepts are fine on their own.
>>38177811Beep boop meow.It would've been fun to write, at the very least.
>>38177843Well, if you really want to do it, we just see a red hood and not what's under it, right?
>>38177843If I post an image of the most sadistic, borderline Satanic feline I have, would that convince you to do it?
>>38177859Oh naw regular techpriest alone's gonna be a hoot.plus vibrator attachments if QM goes that far
… No, you're sure of it.The red robes and mechanization of a Tech-priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus.…Emperor on Earth, they really /are/ still mad about the Flamer Incident, aren't they?!…No, that can't be it.You look at Alirye, Alirye looks at you, and...Neither of you does anything. Alirye, after a moment, whispers, “Do we run? Hide? Call out to them?” She pauses, and one of her ears twitches a little. “I think there's five. Maybe six?” >ROLL D100 TO SEE HOW YOUR LUCK IS[spoiler]>>38177859Tell ya what- you critfail this, and the Techpriestess will also be a catgirl. Fair enough?[/spoiler]
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>38177968
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>38177968Dice Gods a shitA SHIT
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>38177968
>>38177976Damn... When emperor doesn't want cat mutants he really doesn't want cat mutants!
>>38177976Is this a crit-fail? I hope it's a crit-fail.
>>38177976Is this close enough? Robot kitty ears, at least?
>>38178007Anon, this is a roll-low system. A 1 is a crit success, a 100 is a crit failure.
>>38177948I'd prefer a mechanical tail-drill tbh.
>>38178021roll under anon.>>38177997this is decent
>>38178033Really? I thought this just mocked 40k not followed its traditional dice system. jesus christ on a pogo stick.
>>38178007OK next roll can be for a cat boy, then some kind of bird thing, is that ok anon?
>>38178060>some kind of bird thingPURGE!
>>38178060>Bird thingI'm on to you, you fucking Chaos-fellating Tzeentch cultist.
Should there be a vote for if the tech-priest is also a felinid instead of a tech-priest?
>>38177968>messing up a spoilerKill me.>>38177976>>38177997>>38177999>38 and an almost-critfail>>38178007>>38178014>>38178021I feel like I should cut you a deal.At the same time, I feel like I shouldn't.How about this- if you take the 54 instead of the 38, catgirl techpriestess will be a thing.Deal?>YES>NO>Esper pls
>>38178103>NOWe don't need to stack the fetishes.
>>38178060>then some kind of bird thingA Living Saint? B-but anon, I don't think we're worthy enough...
>>38178103>YESI wonder what the last option does.
>>38178103>NOI can live without. besides at this rate you'll throw a slaanesh cultist at us with cat ears.I wanna see what fireworks that sets off
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>38178103>Esper plz1= YES2= NO
>>38178127>I wonder what the last option does.It's the bird thing anon.
>>38178103Not voting. I can take or leave catgirls
>>38178103>YESEvery day we'll wake up to a disassembled toaster or the likes. Cybernetic murder presents.
>>38178163>Lots of constatnly-repaired cybernetic mice running around.
Hmm, if we stack the fetishes now, that means it's less likely we'll encounter a felinid later. However, that also means less work for the QM.
>>38178199>Constantly referring to the Omnnyassiah and not realizing she's messing it up, replacing her vocal cords does nothing to solve the problem
>>38178118>>38178129>>38178134>>38178143NO>>38178127>>38178144>>38178163>>38178192>>38178198>>38178209>Omnyassiah be praised!Oh Emprah. That come-from-behind victory.
>>38178103But I wanted the catgirl to be a Guards woman..
>>38178218A catgirl tech-pristess in hand is worth two in the bush. Killing two birds with one stone here.>>38178331A part of us all did. However, a catgirl tech-priest might be more enjoyable.
>>38178331Bellatrix will never meet her. You lose.
>>38178331Maybe she'll be the techpriestess' ex-neighbor or something and she's recruitable down the line. Who knows?
>>38178581I want cats to leave. This is America, damnit!
>>38178633It's infectious. Run.
>>38178581Recruitable into what?
>>38178748For all we know, this Nekomaton could be our eternal arch-rival.
“Seven, actually,” says a voice from behind you, “there are /seven/ of us.”Frak. At least that didn't give you a heart attack. That would have been an embarrassing way to go.“Turn around then,” the voice, feminine (but also ever-so-slightly... tinny?) says. “Nice and slow, now. No funny business.”You do as she says, as does Alirye.…What.The woman before you is clad in the bright red robes of a Techpriest. She's just shapely enough that you can tell she's female beneath those robes, and her mechadendrites are all moving at the same time- each in a different direction and at a different speed (which is really odd to see).But that's not what gives you pause.No.That'd be her apparently-unaugmented face (which is pretty, to be fair- it's just not something you'd expect) and, more strangely, her ears.You've never seen ears like these.Well, you /have/.But they were on a cat.These are the same sort of ears.Just... on a lady.…You can't help but think they make her that much cuter.“I am Magos Aila Velence,” she says.[What does she say next?]>“... and I've been expecting you.”>“... who in the Omnyassiah's name are /you/?”>“... and you must be the two the Inquisitor promised us.”>“... Tell me, have either of you ever heard of 'Necrons,' by chance?”>“... and you'll come with me- if you want to live.”>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38178929>“... and you'll come with me- if you want to live.”Sure.
>“... who in the Omnyassiah's name are /you/?”
>>38178929>“... Tell me, have either of you ever heard of 'Nyecrons,' by chance?”
>>38178929>>“... who in the Omnyassiah's name are /you/?”
>>38178929>"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD G- I mean, how was your day?"
>>38178929>“... Tell me, have either of you ever heard of 'Necrons,' by chance?”Are they a kind of sandwich?
>>38178929>Something else? (Write-in!)And you're Nyat supposed to be here! This is just purrfect you've thrown all my tyime tables off! Nya!
>I actually typed "Omnyassiah"FREEEEEEEEEEEUD
>>38178929"An Eldar!? I've never gotten to dissect one of THOSE before!"
>>38178929>she tazes us both.
>>38178929>"What do your guts look like? I can't wait to find out! Please, by all means, go ahead and squirm. MAKE IT FUN, NYAHAHAHA!"
>>38178929You never said what kind of cat. Maine Coon right? Right?!
>>38178929>“... and you must be the two the Inquisitor promised us.”
>>38178929>You're ears.. are so.. weird.. can I touch them, nya?
>>38179308>Maine CoonTop tier taste, anon. Love my Maine coon to death, the fluffy little bastard.
>>38178993COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE>>38178997>>38179015Who are you?>>38178998>>38179104Did somebody say NECRONS?>>38179312We had a deal!>>38179102>>38179112>>38179130>>38179179>>38179214>>38179279>>38179427>Some sort of silly write-in...Okay.Let's, uh, let's try this again.But 98% more directly.Okay, pick one option from both lists>She's a Magos Biologis (or is it a Genetor?) working on genetic modificaiton stuff>She's a 'normal' Magos, looking for an STC>She's a Magos poking her head into Necron shenanigans>She's a Magos Biologis poking her head into Necron shenanigans>Something else? (Write-in)AND>This is legitimately about the Flamer Incident. You done goofed.>The Inquisitor dropped the two of you off here as part of a deal.>The two of you are a pleasant surprise.>You were expected, for reasons>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38178929>“... who in the Omnyassiah's name are /you/?”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arZdeg_fL-I
>>38179524>>She's a Magos Biologis poking her head into Necron shenanigans>You were expected, for reasons
>>38179524>She's a Magos Biologis (or is it a Genetor?) working on genetic modificaiton stuffShe'll give us cat ears!>The two of you are a pleasant surprise.
>>38179524>She's a Magos Biologis poking her head into Necron shenanigans>This is legitimately about the Flamer Incident
>>38179524>She's a Magos poking her head into Necron shenanigans>The two of you are a pleasant surprise.
>>38179524Explorator Magos Biologis looking for an STC>The Inquisitor dropped the two of you off here as part of a deal.
>>38179524>She's not a real Magos, she just wants to impres us.>The Inquisitor dropped the two of you off here as part of a deal.
>>38179524>She's a Magos Biologis (or is it a Genetor?) working on genetic modificaiton stuff>The two of you are a pleasant surprise.We shall never know what the flamer incident actually entailed, but it will haunt us for the rest of the quest.
>>38179524>She's a Magos Biologis (or is it a Genetor?) working on genetic modificaiton stuff>This is legitimately about the Flamer Incident. You done goofed.
An STC might be able to save the Emperor!
>>38179570>She'll give us cat ears!But I like being the way we are!
>>38179570>She'll give us cat ears!In that case...>>38179524>>She's a Magos poking her head into Necron shenanigans>>The Inquisitor dropped the two of you off here as part of a deal.
>>38179565>>38179606Biologis + Necrons>>38179570>>38179620>>38179647>Biologis + SCIENCE>>38179607>>38179857Magos + Necrons>>38179616Biologis + STCBiologis gene modification!>>38179565'Cause reasons>>38179647>>38179606The flamer Incident will never be forgotten>>38179570>>38179607>>38179620>Surprise!>>38179616>>38179618>>38179857>It was a deal!...The Inquisitor surprised them with a deal?I... uh. I'll figure it out.Maybe she's surprised that he held up his end of the bargain?Hmm.Writing!
>>38179952Damnit, why do you have to split up votes with shit like "Magos looking for Necrons" and "Biologis looking for Necrons"? Just give us occupation and objective votes seperately. Jeez!
>>38180034Because two options was too much in the first place!>4 votes for necronsOh.I see the reason for the compaint, then.So it'd be Biologis + Necrons, then.I can work with that.See, this is why criticism and feedback are good things!Because you have eyeballs that I don't!
>>38179952>I... uh. I'll figure it out.
>>38180115Nah, you already fucked up. It's>Biologis + SCIENCEnow.
>>38179952>The Inquisitor surprised them with a deal?>I... uh. I'll figure it out.>Maybe she's surprised that he held up his end of the bargain?>Hmm.>Writing!Just flip a coin and get on with it for crying out loud!
>>38179451Fuck. Now I really want Nekopara Vol.2 right fucking now.
>>38180296She's suprised as noone told the abhuman.
>>38180334Okay. Aren't all tech-priests abhumans, though?
>>38180377No, abhumans are things like Ratlings and Ogrins.
“And, as much as I'd like to say something like “I've been expecting you,” I must admit that the two of you being here is... a pleasant surprise. I half-expected to be repaid with an Exterminatus, but he held up his end of the bargain...” She smiles. “You know, you'd never realize how valuable the unaugmented are until the time comes where you need them.”“And what is it that you need 'them' for, exactly?” Alirye asks.The techpriestess grins. “Guess.”You can almost hear Alirye cringing. “I... I don't think I want to.”“How boring. What about you, then?” She asks, speaking to you this time.You think for a few moments, then answer, “To pass through a metal detector?”She laughs, shaking her head. “No. But I'll give you a hint.”>The hint is NECRONS.>The hint is GENETICS.>The hint is STANDARD TEMPLATE CONSTRUCT.>The hint is... something else? (Write-in!)
>>38180467>The hint is NYECRONS.
>>38180467>The hint is NYEHCRONS.
>>38180467>The hint is NECRONS.Sounds good.
>>38180467>>The hint is NECRONS.
>>38180467>The hint is... To pass the moving red dot in the field of catnip.
>>38180467>The hint is NECRONS.
>>38180551She's gonna short circuit!
Hey, did you know that when Eldars get intimate, CRYSTALS EVERYWHERE!?
>>38180713That techpriest was high as fuck when he wrote that shit.
>>38180501>>38180513>>38180537>>38180538>>38180555>Necrons!>Meow.>>38180551Laser-pointer operation.It's a two-man job.Okay, writing!If only I could figure out why I associate Necrons and Steve Jobs with one another.
>>38180766Legions of soulless automatons?
>>38180626If I can't stop them letting some abhuman hold the rank of Magos I will get them high and send in the sniper.And I would of gotten away with it if that Inquisitor had sent an Exterminatus insted of a medaling battle sister and her xeno bitch.
>>38180766>Laser-pointer operation.>It's a two-man job.Why don't she just get a servo-skull?
You nod. “Okay. Hit me. I'm ready.”“Ooh, I like the enthusiasm.” She glances over at Alirye. “Your Eldar friend doesn't seem to be too peppy, though...” She clicks her tongue. “Anyways, the hint is 'Necrons.' Got it?”… Necrons? What in the Emperor's name is a Necron?You blink. “Not at all!”“Hmm. I suspected as much. What about you, Eldar?”Alirye blows a raspberry at her. “I'm hoping they kill you first. So I can watch and laugh.”You give your pointy-eared companion a Look. “There's no reason to be rude, Alirye.”“You're only saying that because you don't know what a Necron is.”The Techpriestess laughs again. “We've come up with a way to replicate their necrodermis- in purely organic beings.” One of her kitty-ears twitches. “And now we have two purely organic beings here to test it on.” Her ear twitches again... you wanna scratch those ears. “Any questions?”>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.>Ask if you can scratch her ears.>Ask why she didn't have those scary-quite Tech Guard guys that are standing behind you shoot Alirye on sight.>Ask if you're gonna die.>Ask if this 'necrodermis' thing is good for your skin.>Ask some other silly question. (Write-in!)>>38180832... maybe? I dunno.>>38181086Servo-skulls aren't pretty ladies, anon.
>>38181155>>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.>Ask if you can scratch her ears.>Ask if this 'necrodermis' thing is good for your skin.
>>38181155>>38181183 is good.
>>38181155>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.>Ask if you're gonna die.>Ask if this 'necrodermis' thing is good for your skin.>Try to resist urge to pet the cat.>Pet the cat a lot.
>>38181155>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.>Ask if you can scratch her ears.>Ask if you're gonna die.
We're gonna get pinched by her mecha-dendrite, aren't we?
>>38181155>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.>Ask her if she can give you better tech for purging the emperor's enemies>Ask her if you can scratch her ears
>>38181259The Emperor protects, anon.And power armor is also pretty good.
>>38181155>TEST SUBJECTS!?>Forcefully start rubbing her ears for her arrogance.
>>38181155>Ask for an explanation of what those things she was talking about are.
Looks like ear-scratching and explanation are shoe-ins.>>38181183>>38181238>>38181239>Gotta take care of your skin!>>38181239>>38181254>>38181414>Is this the "you'll die" sort of need?>>38181325>>38181278Write-ins>>38181440Anon is a master of restraint!Okay, writing!
>>38181155>>Ask if you can scratch her ears.
“I have so many questions that it's almost embarrassing.”The Techpriestess- Aila, was it?- gives you a wry smile. “Ask away.”“What are Necrons?”“Ancient scary murder-machines that look like metal skeletons, have extremely advanced technology, and are a pain in the cyber-mantle to kill.”“Okay,” you say. Soulless automatons with fancy guns. Got it. “What's necrodermis?”“Some call it 'living metal.' It's part of the reason Necrons are so tough. It's very strong, and capable of self-repair. It's fascinating, to say the least.”“Alright...” you frown. “Is this thing you're talking about gonna kill us?”Alirye laughs. “Almost certainly.”Aila shoots her a dirty look. “I certainly hope not,” she says. “That would mean that I messed up.”Well, it's not particularly reassuring, but at least it wasn't a 'yes.'“Okay, if it's not gonna kill us, will it be bad for our skin?” You shoot a sidelong glance at Alirye, who seems to be unsure whether she should be laughing or crying.Aila gives you a blank look. “... Look, sister, I'm gonna level with you- I haven't the slightest frakking clue what it's gonna do to your skin.”You grimace. “Geez. That's important, you know?” You shake your head. “Have you ever worn powered armor with dry skin?” You shudder. Never again.She shrugs. “Sorry. Bigger fish to fry and all that. Anything else?”…Her ear twitches again.“Can- can I...” She blinks. “Yes?”“Can I scratch your ears?”…>ROLL D100 TO CHARM HER METAPHORICAL PANTS OFF!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>38181944
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>38181944Touch fluffy ears.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>38181944nat 1
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>38181944
>>38181976>>38181985>>38181988>61Oooh. Just barely.Writing!
>>38182021Man, she must be easy.
>>38182126She was at a -20 for her ear already itching, and you got her warmed up enough to you to get a +10. In effect, a +30 for you
When are we going to get to burn heretics and spread faith?
>>38182483This. I like catgirls and lesbian undertones just as much as the next guy, but c'mon, this is a WH40K quest. We are the emperor's chosen double x chromosome warriors and it's time we spread faith and melt the heretics, xenos and assorted chaos spawns away.
Her cheeks redden, and, after a brief pause, she nods. “Okay... but only a little, alright?”Yesss.You bring your ungauntleted left hand (it's an old trick Sister Superior Praetia taught you- sleeping with one hand unarmored gives you something to rest your head on during the night; leaving your dominant hand armored means you can still fire your weapon if things go south) up to Aila's head, with its fluffy hair and fluffy kitty-cat ears, and you begin to scratch.…It's soft~! Softer than the softest soft thing at the soft thing manufactorum!You scratch and stroke her hair and ears, appreciating how soft and fluffy they are, and, to your surprise, the cat-eared Tech-priestess begins... purring. She presses her head against your hand and squeezes her eyes shut. Her mechadendrites wrap around her midsection in some sort of bizarre Tech-priest self-hug.… This is amazing. You can't keep something this great all to yourself. “Ali, come feel this.”You can practically feel the eldar rolling her eyes as she steps forward and places her hand on the fluffy softness. “Isha's left tit,” she murmurs, even as she joins you in rubbing the everliving hell out of Aila's head.The Tech-priestess' purring grows louder and louder, until, eventually, one of the Skitarii clears his throat. “Magos Velence,” he says, in a voice that sounds like it's coming through a vox, “If there's nothing else, we would be wise to return to base.”“R-right,” Aila replies, her voice wavering and colored by embarrassment.>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own!>Relent. You should probably get the scary living-metal thingie over with.>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38182579>>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own!
>>38182579>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own!one ticket for the taze train, plz
>>38182579>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own![petting intensifies]
>>38182579>Relent. You should probably get the scary living-metal thingie over withAlso, I'm assuming we'll follow them to the base. In that case, go bug them about power armour/weapon upgrades. New and/or improved tech means more firepower for the emprah!
>>38182579>>Relent. You should probably get the scary living-metal thingie over with.Think of it like this. This is a taste of what she could get if the necrodermis right, she get ear scratches from a metal hand so its win-win for a catgirl and a techpriest.
>>38182579>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own!>Keep your hand armored. It is a well known fact that normal terran felines will often look cute and cuddly to draw in their prey before attacking them.
>>38182579>Keep petting her. You can't stop! Your hand is moving on its own!
>>38182664She's just gonna taze us through the metal armor if we go the uncomfortable route.
>>38182686Watch us roll a one for a Toughness test and keep petting her
For some reason, I think this quest is promoting an Ear Fetish in many anons.here ya go ya filthy animals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cjyYu1A8vI
>>38182601>>38182632>>38182642>>38182664>>38182684>PATS FOR THE PAT GOD>>38182661>>38182662Mercy for the Cat-priestessOkay!Roll D100 for reasons!
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>38182853
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>38182853We should focus on the mission ahead. Too much distraction is unworthy of the sororitas! Stop patting, get shit done.
oh god empra...
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>38182876Well fuckSo many lucky rolls for roll over here.
>>38182876RIP in fucking pieces
>>38182876Yesss.Let the grump flow through you...>>38182871>>38182901>>38182876>Critical FAILURE... I'm gonna take a few minutes to retrieve my sides from orbit, then get to writing.>>38182733Anon, you're not a very good psyker. Don't quit your day-job.
>>38182876>Suddenly, lust gets the better of them and both Bellatrix and Alirye get possessed by Catgirl-loving Daemonettes, ushering in a new age of darkness and moaning for this world.
>>38182871>>38182876>>38182901>Those rollsGET YOUR HEADS IN THE GAME
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>38182853
You keep on petting.“S-stop,” Aila says, even more meek than before.You try to stop. You really do.But... “I... I can't.”It's so soft and fluffy! You just can't stop-One of Aila's hands seizes your unprotected wrist. The last thing you see before darkness rushes in is an electric blue glow coming from a pattern on the back of the Tech-priestess' hand.……When you come to, you're...…Where the hell are you?… Somewhere spooky.You're in a metal room filled with all sorts of machines and cogitators, sitting on a raised dais that runs along the lip of a big vat-thing. The coldness of the floor on your bum is what first indicates to you that you're no longer clad in your armor- the only thing between you and the elements (and cold floors!) right now is the skin-tight jumpsuit you were wearing underneath your metal second skin.The vat-thing is filled with what you can only describe as black goop, and, upon further inspection, you seem to be confined to the platform by a big cage-thing that extends upwards from the fence lining the edge of the platform itself.There's no fence, you note, between yourself and the vat of goop.…A voice crackles over a loudspeaker- it's so vox-distorted that you can't tell who it belongs to, or even what the person speaking might sound like. “Okay, Curis. Hop in the vat.”…>“Uh... no?”>“... 'Kay.”>“What the frak?”>“... Why?”>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38183540>“... Why?”>Something else? (Write-in!)"Where in the Emperor's light is the Eldar."
>>38183540>“What the frak?”>“Uh... no?”then>“... Why?”
>>38183540>“... 'Kay.”When a servant of the Emperor requests something of us, it is our sworn duty to obey without question!
>>38183540>Who are you, where am I, who is the Eldar, and what in the Emperor's light is going on?! I told you guys we should have stopped petting.
>>38183670>who is the EldarSorry, meant "where is the Eldar"
>>38183578>>38183592>>38183625>>38183670C'monnn guys, can we play as an unquestioning zealot for at least one action? We're not going to make it as a Battle-Sister at this rate. Besides, Necrodermis seems cool.
>>38183701wat is an eldar?
>>38183745Ehh.. just cause someone's an Imperial servant doesn't mean they can order us around or have us jump into vats full of black goop.
>>38183745>an unquestioning zealotShe wants to put Xenotech in us. A zealot would have shot her on the spot, and would certainly NOT just be okay with it.
>>38183879Sounds like someone doesn't have enough faith in humanity.
>>38183891Let's just compromise by dipping a toe, then a leg in.
>>38183914How about no.
>>38183578>>38183592>>38183625>Why?>>38183578>>38183670Where'd you guys put my elf? Geez.>>38183639>>38183674AYE AYE, CAP'N!Okay, writing!
Are we purging things yet?
Your first response is to blurt out a half-dozen questions, some of which, it could be argued, are only tangentially-related to the situation at hand.Questions like “Who the frak are you?” and “Where'd you put my Eldar?” and “What the [REDACTED]?” and “Is this about the Flamer Incident? How many times do I have to apologize?!”You spend perhaps ninety seconds 'ranting' your questions, and, after you've finished- and been left in silence for a bit- the speaker crackles again. “... What was that about a flamer?”“Nothing at all,” you lie, “in fact, I don't know what you're talking about? What's a flamer?”“... I'll do us all a favor and 'forget' to look into that.”You blink, taken a bit aback. “... really?”“Yep.”“Thanks, Mister-or-Misses-speaker-I-can't-see!”“Eh. Don't mention it.” There's a pause. “Also, hop in the vat.”“... Why?”“The Necrodermis thing. Didn't the Magos tell you? Omnissiah's shiny adamantium balls! You give the Cat one job, and what does she do? Whatever she wants!”You peer more closely at the goop. “... This is that necrodermis stuff, then?”“... It's not that simple, but, in a sense, yes.”“So... I just hop in... and we're done?”“... Ideally, you'd be 'done' after climbing back out of the vat via the ladder, but, again, the answer is -essentially- 'yes'.”You squint at the goop. “... Are you sure you don't have some heretics I could purge instead?”“Get in the vat, Curis.”>Do it. Get in the vat.>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!>Refuse. That stuff looks gross and maybe-dangerous.>Stall. Try to make small talk or something!>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38184396>Do it. Get in the vat.
>>38184263>>38184312https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_4pXusde8s>>38184396>Dip a leg.
>>38184396>>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!>Stall. Try to make small talk or something!Use small talk to get a bead on his heresy and then bash him over the head with a prayer, and your fists.
>>38184396>>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!
>>38184396>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!SCOURGE AND PURGE
>>38184396>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!"Answer my questions or I fall back on my basic training: break shit. Piss me off and I'll move on to my advanced training, which is the same as the basic training only I'll set everything on fire after."
>>38184531>only I'll set everything on fire after."Not setting shit on fire before, during and after we break stuff.
>>38184396>... Why'd he not answer your question? THAT'S AN EARLY INDICATOR OF HERESY!Who the heck do these "techpriests" think they are, trying to command a SoB around like that? ...is what I'd like to say but we're out of weapons, power armour and places to go for purging. Just jump in, Emperor will guide us etc.
>>38184566It hurts your fists if you set it on fire before.
>>38184605If you want to jump in instead of accusing him of heresy, you should vote for jumping in. Your vote is contradicted by your other words, and things like that make it much more difficult to tally votes.
>>38184396>"If you let me go I'll let you press your face against my boobs?"
>>38184607It's not pain! It's the glorious feeling of PURGING THE MOST FOUL OF HERETICS! With fire I might add.
Let's just jump in and have faith in the Emperor.
>>38184665Sorry, I was going on about how HERESY would be my favoured joice but under these circumstances it isn't. So to make it absolutely clear: >Jump into the goo. FOR THE EMPRAH
>>38184416>>38184428>>38184718Go on in! The goo's fine!>>38184446>>38184455>>38184472>>38184501>>38184531>pic relatedOkay!>Once again, ROLL D100 (it's to discern heresy this time, though)
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>38184818nat 100
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>38184818EMPEROR DO NOT FORSAKE ME
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>38184818
>>38184831>>38184855>>38184858>12Good job, anon.Heresy detected!
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>38184818Does OP only count the first roll? Or best roll? Or worst? Anyway, rolling for HERESY
>>38184897Don't you mean that we successfully ascertained that there's no heresy to be found here?
>>38184976"The plea of innocence is guilty of WASTING MY TIME."-Confessor, Dawn of War: SoulstormHeresy is found wherever you look for it, anon.
>>38184818Seems like Heresy front to back. Kidnapping a Sister of Battle to experiment on? Heresy. Reverse-engineering Necron tech? Also heresy. Employing a felinid as a Magos? Borderline at best, Heresy at worst. Stripping a Sister of Battle? Stripping a Sister of Battle of her armor? Hot, but still Heresy. Forcing said Sister of Battle to swim in xenotech goo? Heresy.
>>38185053>Hot, but still Heresy.
You grimace. Something's not right, here.“... Are you being evasive, Tech-priest?” You growl. The thought of someone blaspheming the Emperor's name nearly sends you into a frenzy of its own accord. You restrain yourself, however, so that you might more clearly ascertain the nature of whatever betrayal might fester here.“... Negative.”…You offer a prayer to the Emperor, asking for guidance through this darkness- through the fog of heresy and deceit.“These 'Necrons'- are they xenos?”The vox itself seems to crackle and pop nervously. “... Well-”You take hold of the cage confining you and jerk it back and forth, rattling the whole construction. “ARE. THEY. XENOS?”There's a long pause. “Yes.”You narrow your eyes. “So, by working with this 'necrodermis,' you are committing tech-heresy, are you not?”“That's not-”>“RELEASE ME, THAT I MAY GRACE YOU WITH THE EMPEROR'S JUDGEMENT!”>“ONLY A HERETIC NEEDS TO JUSTIFY HIS HERESIES!”>“ARE YOU USING XENOS TECHNOLOGY, OR NOT?!”>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!>Something else? (Write-in!)
>>38185428>>“ARE YOU USING XENOS TECHNOLOGY, OR NOT?!”>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!Time to ignite our murder femboner.
>>38185428>>“RELEASE ME, THAT I MAY GRACE YOU WITH THE EMPEROR'S JUDGEMENT!”>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!PURGE THE HERETICS!
>>38185428Engage murder femboner, and acquire best elfdar.
>>38185428>“ARE YOU USING XENOS TECHNOLOGY, OR NOT?!”>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!
>>38185477I REQUIRE FURTHER DATA TO RENDER A JUDGEMENT.
>>38185428>“RELEASE ME, THAT I MAY GRACE YOU WITH THE EMPEROR'S JUDGEMENT!”Oh boy, the Tech priests are going to be talking about this for years.
>>38185428>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!PURGE. PURGE. PURGE.
>>38185460>>38185508THESE! PURGE THE HERETIC! [Spoiler]SNATCH AWAY THE ELDAR CHICK AND COMMIT EXTRA HERESY
>>38185503F-for the emprah...
>>38185477I ALSO REQUIRE MORE DATA FOR....UH SCIENCE!
>>38185428>Attempt to escape the cage. FOR THE EMPEROR!-The Heretic and blasphemer can offer no excuse for their crimes. Those who are pardoned merely live to further shroud humanity from the light of the Emperor with the darkness of their souls-There will be no mercy... Except for cat Magos because those ears.
Time for the Cold Wind and the Warm Sun strategy!>>38185428>"Okay. Jumping into the vat now!">"Gotta disrobe to get all the juices, right?">"You peek, you burn.">Throw shoes and clothes into the vat.>Climb down to ladder.>"Done!"
>>38185636 right we were already naked and our clothes is our armor...we need that
>>38185477These asses are poorly drawn.
>>38185681>>38185706well I did not draw them
>>38185428>>“ONLY A HERETIC NEEDS TO JUSTIFY HIS HERESIES!”>>38185730>>38185743>>38185778i thought this was a fucking Quest Thread
>>38185449>>38185478>>38185574>>38185818Heresy?>>38185460>>38185508RELEASE ME!>>38185449>>38185460>>38185478>>38185515>>38185574>>38185601>ESCAPE!>>38185819>Samus>Bird thingMine compatriat of african descentOkay, roll some of those hundred-sided dice to try and escape!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>38185901
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>38185901RELEASE!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>38185901
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>38185901
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>38185901>Escaping from heretics>not purging them
>>38185959We have no weapons or armor, anon.
>>38185916>>38185931>>38185939>11... That's also the time.I guess we started late today, didn't we?I really need to get to bed- I think we'll call it a day, and pick up here next time. Sorry for the sudden-ness.
>>38186034A'ight thenSee you next time
>>38186001We have the blazing fury of the emperors chosen. that is enough.>implying we cant beat up a bunch of coghead nerds.
>>38186034C'mon, just one post to wrap things up for now?
Thanks for playing! I'll try to run again this weekend!Twitter: https://twitter.com/EsperQuestQMTHE LAND OF ASKING: ask.fm/EsperQuestQMArchives:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Battle-Sister%20Quest
>>38185477>>38185563>>38185599>>38185819>>38186037>>38186612>>38186627>>38186661mmmmmm.....myes, we must have more sexy sisters. F-for research. Yes, research.
I can see several posts that are likely to be purged, along with the xenos heresy.