What are these apprentices running from? They're not! They're running to- the world's toughest competition in town.We at the most glorious Mages' Guild have constructed a magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment for our apprentice wizards and sorcerers, to test their mettle, and maybe purge the population a bit. Will they survive the challenge and live to master the arcane arts? Or will they fail hilariously?To find out, you will be controlling your own apprentice through six deadly obstacles, relying on luck, skill, and ingenuity to see your character through to the end.All obstacles use 1d4 to see if you succeed or get eliminated. 1 means you die, 2 means you scrape by with an injury, 3 means you just succeed, and 4 means you pass victoriously.To begin, come up with a name and a basic identity for your apprentice. Then, pick 2 of these 5 stats – when competing in a challenge that uses a stat you chose, you get +1 to your dice roll. The stats are:• Strength: for challenges of lifting items or suspending yourself.• Platforming: for challenges of jumping across platforms and through obstacles.• Resistance: for challenges where we throw things at you.• Balance: for challenges where you need to maintain your balance. Obviously.• Perception: for challenges where you have to direct yourself or see through illusions.Additionally, as prospective mages, you can try to outwit the challenges by casting spells. However, regardless of the spell you cast, you have to roll a 1d2 – a 50% chance of it working in your favor, and a 50% change of it leading directly to your elimination.There will be danger, action, and a lot of dead bodies. Will you survive? Or will you get eliminated?
>>37682566Seems a bit lethal don't you think? ehhh they will be fine its just the apprentices.
>Waits by the starting line Platforming and balance!
Swaggers to the start line, confident in his strength and resistance
ATTENTION ALL APPRENTICES! Don't forget to grab your complimentary non-descript red robe. >>37682656Sssssh, don't tip them off, this will be the high point of my week, NOTHING could keep me from enjoying this.>grabs a box of popcornNot even my apprentice bringing bad news. That can wait until later when I raise his body and ask what was so important he had to interrupt me.
The first challenge will be>Skipping StonesApprentices will jump across the scattered rocks of this pond. Some are real and can support a person's weight. Others are fake, and will have you slipping right into the water.What monsters are swimming in it? How corrosive is it? What watery doom awaits? Roll 1d4 and find out.Apprentices with Platforming roll 1d4+1
>>37682744K:Good afternoon, sir, I hope you enjoy today's competition B: Shut it nerd! We gotta get ready! We'll talk to you later teacher dude! Strength and Resistance. What happened to intelligence?
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37682566>Walks to the challenge with eyes quickly moving and hands twitching slightly.Perception and Platforming.>>37682796
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)Strength & Platforming>shakes in fear in his red robeWelp, I'm dead.>>37682796>runs right over at full speedAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>37682744*Stares at the popcorn* damn being dead. *laughs* has its advantages though
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37682796
>>37682811I dropped it because I didn't want to do any trivia challenges. Since we've been so freeform with worldbuilding and have been making up magic lore on the fly, I figured actual knowledge would be tricky to work into the challenges. I'm too lazy to come up with mental challenges, you know?
Should be a hilarious break from the recent moping about everyone is doing.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37682796K:this is insane!B: WOOOOOO!
>>37682879*Laughs* so are you a real paladin or not cat? Also it seems the cunning people are slipping through fine.
>>37682811Oh I will, good luck out there you two.>>37682826Now that's an apprentice worth paying attention to, perfectly timed jumps every time. Unlike some others I could mention.>>37682833I expected nothing more from my apprentice, look at him, no style whatsoever.
>>37682826Dirk, one of the necromancy apprentices, bolts across the pond with the greatest of ease! Hitting ever solid stone without effort, and he's right across the finish line for challenge 1.>>37682833Here's another necromancy apprentice, running atop the stones. Whoops, almost fell into the perilous depths there, but he kept his balance, and right on the other side of the pond. Nicely done.>>37682864Here's Jill, a pinball witch. Still not sure what that means. A little cautious, taking her time with each stone, but she finds the right ones, and survives the first challenge!
>>37682907I'm a paladin, I just don't conform to what passes for normality in paladins in this land.In my land I'm a pretty normal paladin. Instead of explain this over and over I just drew a question mark on my nametag.
Oh man I hope fabulous Esteban makes it
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37682796Hank hastens back to the track, having to unfortunately use the bathroom
>>37682953*Stares* your normal in your land?
>>37682968*Winces as Hank dies by cracked chestnuts*
>>37682968And thus ended hank the muscle apprentice. ah well
>>37683016Eh, I'm sure there will be another one.
>>37682968Ooo– looks like our first elimination there. Hank, an apprentice Muscle Wizard, trips over a fake stone, and right into the arms of a maneating krakenmaid.Ah, those bones cracking in her maw are just grisly.>>37682890Off to a good start from our two-headed veterans, but oh! They trip up right at the opposite bank. Ooo, looks like they lost a lake in the acid-end of the pond. We'll have to give them a peg-leg for the next challenge.
>>37683056Don't you mean leg sir?
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37682796(Perception, Resistance)Putting away the stick of butter that was laying next to hanks shoes, he runs for the stepping stones
>>37683086Correct you are, Dirk. Afraid all the hype is ruining my train of thought.Indeed, Krogrr and Brogrr will have plenty of time to lose an actual lake in the next challenge.
>>37683056K: AAAHH-B: Quit being a pussy, we got a peg leg!
>>37683111Here's Broggy, back from whatever he was up to ofscreen.Excellently done, by the apprentice! Right across the pond, hitting only the right stones, and on to the next challenge.
>>37683111*Whistles* Nicely done!>>37683146Provided you two live through this you might want to see the necromancy department about growing a new leg for you.
>>37682890Don't get too overexcited Brogrr, or else you will... trip.>>37682968OOOOOH, looks like we have our first elimination. Anyone in charge of this apprentice? If you do have an apprentice down there, remember to take care of their body should they fall or it will go straight to the Necromancy Department.>>37683126So what do you think of this lineup? We have already lost one of the prominent apprentices in the race. But we have also seen some strong performance from others, this Dirk seems born to do this.>>37683111Oh, would you look at that, another natural.
>>37683111B: Yo! Whats happening Broggy?
>>37683180I admit, I'm growing prouder of our apprentices every second. Their teachers should be impressed.Of course, we've got more coming right up.
>>37683206Absolutely.nothing! Definitely should stay away from evocation for a while though...Nice leg
I still maintain this is a waste of time and resources.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Games are great fun. Who wins? Who dies? Who is just maimed? Only time will tell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37683234what's up sleepy butt?>>37683253..............
>>37683180Thank you for the compliment sir. Do you have a personal apprentice if I may ask?>>37683232We both are rather quick on our feet. What school are you apprenticed in?>>37683234Ma'am we normal apprentices who have no patronage or department heads already teaching us need this opportunity to catch the eye of someone so we can actually finish school. I know you don't care, but please think of the apprentices.
>>37683301I'm in open studies currently. Focusing on getting the fundamentals before I specialize.
>>37683174I have already made time for them should they need it.>>37683234And I say they are resources well spent, the Necromancy Department is providing most of the funds for this.>hands Noel a box of popcornSo sit down and enjoy.>>37683301Yes I do have a bumbling idiot of an apprentice, he is over there. (>>37682833)
now we have enough contestants to begin the second challenge:>The Perilous Deathmaze of Deadly Peril!Apprentices will roll 1d4 to see what direction they go in. higher rolls will put you closer to the end of the maze. Lower rolls will have you wandering indefinitely. To make things a little more exciting, the maze is filled with various nasties, monsters, beasts, and illusions to hunt you down and eliminate you.Apprentices with Perception roll 1d4+1 every time. And remember, roll 1d2 if you ever try to cast a spell.
Sorry I'm a bit late, had some errands.>>37683301You don't want to be his apprentice. Trust me, I work for him. You don't want to.
>>37683330On a diet. Trying to anyway.
>>37682998Mmm. Maybe not NORMAL but i'm certainly more normal there than I seem here.
>>37683337Resistance and Balance unless you call my disguise and stop me from entering. I'm fine either way.It is I, Bradley Quin, apprentice... eh... mater reality warper, yes. I'm here for the race.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37683301>Runs in with her hand on the left wall
>>37683253Seriously, why do you even bother stopping time at times?
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37683330Oh well then maybe one of the other professors will take me on after this.>>37683346You're just scared.>>37683337*starts running through the maze*>>37683387Hello!
>>37683234Hello Noel, Seems you missed quite a bit of drama. And someone was looking for you maybe?
>>37683282>Paradox head turns mechanicalyTick-tock, tick -tock. The elf seems confused. I ask myself what could it be? Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37683369Makes sense. I can honestly see it.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37683337>takes a deep breathI'm still alive, I can do this...>runs in at full speed
>>37683346Oh, apologies, it seems I forgot my nametag.Terribly sorry.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37683337K:Oh I have an Idea. we'll be like Theseus!B: Or we could just punch our way through....K:No trust me, this will work perfectly!>Casting spell after this if they don't die
>>37683378We have a familiar apprentice, though the name doesn't ring any bells. We'll see how this oddly-proportioned gentleman? can get through the skipping stones.I'm perfectly fine with this>>37683387And Jill make a huge advance through the maze. I don't know if it's simple luck or excellent foresight, but she's almost halfway through the maze already.
>>37683426I say! Watch out for that*winces* ouch.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37683337Brogfy runs through the maze, hoping his keen eyes can spot the spooks
>>37683439>Takes a wrong turn into the maul of a ravenous tunnel>Ravenous tunnel is now drunk
>>37683451... Theres a... never mind you found the wolf.
>>37683411So what did I miss and who or what wants me for something today?
who ever wins gets 25 pounds of my coffee
>>37683477Secretus let out by Vex, And Drama that entails. Mostly. I don't remember who was looking for you, Maybe they will show up later. But really this is the time for laughing at apprentices dying horribly, Not worrying about things.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37683474Spellcasting get: an illusory wall in between myself and the wolf
>>37683479.........>>37683442Hey! Is it too late to join in?
>>37683477You missed me dying. Uhhhh I used you as an example for jill of escaping from captors. and aparently vex was captured?
>>37683395Tick-tock, tick-tock. I don't need to. But I have to protect time at times, while watching it for thew 106th time. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37683442Excellent.>>37683378This maze is no match for me.>takes out a crude drawing of a mazeHmm... now what did that mark mean now again...
>>37683404Dirk gets caught up at the first crossroad, but certainly managed to find the right path soon. He's managed to avoid any problems so far.>>37683426Running so fast he might not notice he's going in circles, the apprentice needs to find the right path soon or he'll quickly run into those undead wolves, courtesy of the Necromancy department.>>37683439>>37683469Uh, oh, Krogrr and Brogrr have run into a ravenous tunnel! How will they get out of this?>>37683451Broggy seems to have run into a few dead ends. He'll need to find a straight path soon or those monstrous shades will close in fast.
>>37683517.... Thats really gonna hurt man. Nice translucent wall.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37683337Left, left, forward, right....
>>37683387>>37683404Looks like both Jill and Dirk continues to impress, good show.>>37683426>shakes his headGood thing he got a thick skull that one.>>37683439And there goes my favourite contestant... into certain doom?
>>37683524Hah, someone gets captured and it isn't me for a change, that's great!I mean oh no....
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37683542Do I need to roll again?
>>37683542doesn't 1 mean dead?
>>37683537*Stares* lay off the moon sugar>>37683569Thats what I said.
>>37683569No no, Vex is "Dead" and got dragged off by one of Lazarus's apprentices. So not really captured.
>>37683413Nah, you just seemed I dunno familiar... Are you santa?
>>37683619Ehhh thats captured in my book. Death holds no bar over us really.
Greetings, fellow mages and students of the arcane. What's on the agenda today, other than figuring out why I was dead for about 15 minutes?
>>37683673Death course! We finally got it done and running!
>>37683517Broggy casts an illusionary wall... but from the wolf's side, the wall is completely invisible.>>37683566Jill hits a dead end, but quickly recovers and finds a long path. She's getting close to the end.>>37683599For the maze, only if you roll them more than once in a row.>>37683583Dirk seems to have run way off course. He'll need to find the right path soon.Yeah, roll again>>37683540Bradley leaps lime a beast across the stones, but not fast enough to avoid those lashing angler tanlons below. Bradley will have to continue to the maze with a few missing fingers.
>>37683684I approved that weeks ago! Certainly took you all a bit of time.
>>37683673B:Just like thesues, huh?K: Shut up and let me cast
>>37683673Besides the death course fun, Secretus is back if that means anything to you.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37683720Dammit hit post before I was ready*Drain Life*
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37683542Oooooch, did I hit a wall? Oh wait, what if there are traps in here... when in doubt, raise skeletons.>casts skeleton minions
>>37683611Tick-tock, tick-tock. My dear ghost of friend. Time is but a delicate thing. So I go tick and it goes tock. No time for drugs. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37683643Tick-tock, tick-tock. No I am not. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37683692hmmm to easy...*Summon Greater pinball* to clear our traps
>>37683724Secretus is back, as in alive? Dreadful news, my brief engagement with him in the shadow realm was an unpleasant one.>>37683759Do you have a license for unmuted noisemaking?
>>37683673Are you corporeal or incorporeal. I can never tell with your kind.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37683692Ouch, so that symbol was deadly trap... there are a lot of them in this maze...>squints and leaps forwardFortune favours the bold!
>>37683692*like a>>37683741Oh my. Krogrr and Brogrr are accidentally draining their own lives and sending their energy to the ravenous tunnel!>>37683750The apprentice successfully raises a gaggle of skeletons. The wolves are upon him, but luckily he has plenty of bones to throw at them now.>>37683776Wow! Jill summons a massive pinball, bouncing traps and illusions out of the way and clearing a path for her right to the finish line!>Jill is out of the deathmaze
>>37683789Hey! You can't sue Santa!
>>37683789Vex said Conspierre let him out, But Conspierre said Vex let him out, And I'm more inclined to believe Vex dun it. Anyway, Not the time for this. Time for festivities. You should check the library after meetings, Discusion tends to continue a long while in there. 2700 posts total in the last thread I think? A lot. Dem ghostpots
>>37683759*Stares* yeah your time shenanigans don't work on dead thankfully.
>>37683807Uh oh. Bradley has landed himself right into one of the deathmaze's trap doors. This will force him to continue in the even deadlier Subyrinth!
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37683810B: Okay enough of this nerd shit I cast FIST!K: You never learned that spell!B: Who said I was casting a spell?
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37683692Hmm, this isn't right. Time to adjust.
>>37683834Where are the twins? With zirconis?
>>37683894Presumably, They certainly weren't with us.
>>37683724>>37683789>>37683834>holds his hands over his earsLalalala, I can't hear you, to busy enjoying the race to have heard this news twice.>>37683741Ouch... I might have to trigger that ritual soon.>>37683750>yaw drops>flips popcorn box into the airHe actually did something right?>>37683883Aaaaand they are back!>pumps his fist into the air in triumph
>>37683802Fully corporeal now, thank you.>>37683834I know, it's ridiculous.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37683810Alright, I can do this, time to power through, COME MY MINIONS, ONWARDS!
>>37683883Brogrr punches the tunnel. It seems momentarily surprised by this, giving the pair a chance to escape its deathly maw.>>37683887Dirk finds a tunnel that drops him towards the exit. He might be able to get out here if he doesn't go the wrong way. More of Veilhex's undead wolves are on his scent, though.
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37683944Hmm i could cast a spell a make a run for it, although chances are i'll job it. Time to make good my escape!
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37683944K: Okay now to->Brogrr slaps krogrrB:Nope, still my turn in the drivers seat and I say we do not gt time for nerd shit!
>>37683920*Stares* you presume? A set of twins of unknown magical power goes missing and you only presume? Well then. *Goes back to watching the race* too bad no one has died yet.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37683879Huh, this door wasn't on the blueprint, must be a new addition...>eats the drawing before continuing onwards
>>37683944Oh, I just love when undead really get hunting.Run, kid! Or die, whichever you prefer.
>>37683926Last one wasn't. So its a fair question
>>37683970Hank did! *keeps running dodging traps like a man wearing a cool hat.*
>>37683789Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh mage of law. This noise is but the gears inside my chest. That keep me up on tick and tock. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37683811Tick-tock, tick-tock. But Santa I am not. For in this shell of brass and steel. No jolly heart does beat but springs and gears do grind. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37683856Tick-tock, tick-tock. I fear you not. But please be aware that what you hear of another time. Is yours to keep for secret. And not to tell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>Catches her breath while waiting at the end of the maze
>>37683941Good lord. The wolves tear into the skelingtons, rendering them bone piles. Luckily, they seem to be distracted with chewing and burying their new toys, giving the apprentice a chance to escape them for good.>>37683956Dirk's intuition serves him well as he quickly finds the exit to the deathmaze.>Dirk is out of the maze.>>37683967Wait, what are you guys actually doing?>>37683973Uh oh. Bradley runs in the garbage crushing machine from A New Hope!
>>37683992Don't worry, I'm sure Anfarthon will be back eventually.>>37684006Right then, you'll need to get an enchantment to reduce that noise, it's qualified as a public nuisance.
>>37684026 What giants would normally do in a maze, Koolaid man it.
>>37683974Your wolves are fucking slow!>>37684026Finally.>>37684021 Jill you made good time.
>>37684045Krogrr and Brogrr plow through the maze walls. Thankfully, they repair themselves behind the apprentices, but they're definitely heading in the right direction.Roll one more time. If you get a 3 or a 4, you'll get out. Your noise is also attracting ALL OF THE WOLVES.
>>37684001Eh muscle wizards die a lot.>>37684006Never said you were to fear me. And really? who would believe the half crazy ghost?>>37684036I hope he is. He was fun to tease. Why did he leave?
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37684085Both: WOOOO!
>>37682566Hello...am I late?>Resistance>Perception
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37684026Well this seems unpleasant... did that trash just move? Hmm... could be my ticket out of here. Come here you beasties and rise for your new master!
>>37684095Existential crisis, real shame.>>37684054Glad to see you made it out alive! Have a scone.
>>37683970I'm really lazy and don't care to investigate.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37684026Oh no, oh no, oh no, time to ruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn!
>>37684134Good work, have a scone! I've got blueberry, raspberry and emonberry.
>>37684110Awesome! Krogrr and Brogrr slam through the final wall and have discovered the exit! I imagine that hurt, but>Krogrr and Brogrr have exited the maze.>>37684117No one is late. Try your luck across the skipping stones >>37682796>>37684118Oh my. Bradley has been constricted by an angry serpentine beast, and the walls are about to squish him dead!
>>37683974Veilhex, good to see you could join us, you missed the death of an apprentice. Have you seen this Dirk, from our department, he seems to really know what he is doing.>>37684110Good job you two, top marks.>>37684151Aaaaand there he goes again.>sighs
>>37684119YAY! More ammo to fire at him with.>>37684139*Chewing on hanks shadow shaped as popcorn and says with his mouth full* Wazat? Ummah Enjoying duh shoe
>>37684166No thank you.
>>37684151The apprentice leaves the wolves in the dust, but now he's running in circles again, still far off from the exit. It seems he's attracted those ethereal shades as well.
>>37684095Still.>>37684117Nope we're maze running right now. Only Jill and I have made it out so far. No one has died yet though!>>37684119Thank you Ma'am! *eats scone*>>37684134Credit where it is due.
>>37684187He really does seem to have his act together,Time will tell how together it truly is, though.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37684173Well this isn't looking well. Let's see what haven't I tried yet... ah, of course, that.>eyes glow red as Quin bites down on the serpentYOU SEEM TO BE MISTAKEN ABOUT WHO IS EATING WHO HERE!
>>37684220He didn't even die interestingly so its nothing to talk about *eats some more of hanks shadow* stuffs tasty
>>37684259True, should you really be eating his shadow like that?
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37682796>>37684220Alright...>Roderick takes a robe, a deep breath, and begins, always looking out for which one might be fake. Since he's not the first, he just has to look for whichever ones have been stepped on.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37684210Hahahaha, I'm still alive. Somehow... Perhaps its time to make use of that scroll I found yesterday.>opens it upLet's see, the art of "necrodancing"? What even is that?>shrugs and starts moving to a beat
>>37684036Tick-tock, tick-tock. I do this not. For this every tick and every tock. Is all I got. For I am not. Tick-tock, tick tock.>>37684095Tick-tock, tick-tock. I thank you much. For if they know I will to have to rewind time before you told what the frightfull future holds. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37684296Ouch. We need another pegleg here! Don't worry if you live through this you can get a real one regrown.>>37684340Wow that's just embarrassing,
>>37684196That's terribly insensitive!>>37684340Were I allowed to help I would, this is rather sad.
>>37684340Wha- Who dares invoke the ancient and powerful art of Necrodancing?That's senior-level material!
>>37684251Ah! In one last-ditch effort, Quin nibbles on the serpent, but both our apprentice and the beast are squished sickeningly in the compactor! A terrible end to an awesome moustache.>>37684296>they reset after each apprentice. They also change places.Roderick stumbles on a fake rock, and oh no! the krakenmaid just leaps up and chimps his hand off!The young man makes it to the end, luckily, but we'll have to give him some kind of badass hook hand for the maze.>>37684340The apprentice... dances? Unfortunately, his groove lands him at a dead end, and the shades are upon him!
>>37684395I hope he's alright....
>>37684360I wouldn't let you help if you were allowed, my apprentice needs to prove he is worth keeping around on his own.>>37684367This is far from the stupidest move one of my apprentices have pulled. Remember the one who decided that when I say not to release the demon in the basement I'm just holding him back, leading to us having to deal with a basement full of demons?>>37684251Ouch, that looks nasty... wait a minute, that's no apprentice!
>>37684395Quin's been had, then? A real shame. I'll have to organize a funeral.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37684395>Roderick holds his leg, a thick gash from the tentacle monster having cloven right through his quad to the bone, but to his credit he doesn't cry out. He just pulls out an anti-septic salve and rubs it into the wound, wrapping it up and moving on to the maze...
>>37684458Wait a minute? It was Quin!? Well, in that case, I'm sure they'll turn up perfectly fine later.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37684395Hmm... must have gotten the beat wrong... oh well, let's just try to...>sees shadesAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!>runs off at the speed of fright
>>37684470No you fool, the wound is on your arm! No wonder you rolled so poorly.
>>37684470fuck. no love for roderick
>>37684251Poor new kid.....>>37684470>Gasp!
>>37684477You pass them by, and find a good tunnel, nearing the end, but you need to roll well next or the shades will catch you!
>>37684448Oh, please don't remind me.You know, I bet he still thinks we were holding him back after that fiasco.
>>37684496>Dem hallucinogenic tentacle barbs.
>>37684470Your bloodloss-and-poison-induced confusion lands you at a dead end. You can faintly sense unnatural abominations nearing you.
>>37684458>limps out of the mazeI'm not dead yet, but my moustache has suffered a terrible fate.>>37684472Guilty as charged I'm afraid.>>37684448That's right, it was I, Quin Bradley all along! Now pass me some popcorn.
>>37684550>HugsOh you poor thing
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37684550Cure Light Wounds!
>>37684550Truly, all our hopes died with that moustache.Has anyone seen Broggy? He's been lost in the maze for a while now.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37684507A-haha-haha, I'm doing it, I'm still alive.>grabs something off the ground and swings it hard against the wall in front of himAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
H-hello? Is this where I'm supposed to meet for evaluation? I'm pretty durable, and can detect things effectively, I guess... I was promised scones.
>>37684550Tick-tock, tick-tock. Quin is out. Who would have guessed? That under the mustache hairy laid the monstrous cat. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37684588This is just sad.Has he even made any progress since he went in there?
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37684536Roderick knows this feeling. He's felt it too many times, and he's learned how to make them suffer since. Turning around, he utters intelligible words with a voice of command that resonates unnaturally, with an arcane gesture to drive the creature into submission.
>>37684588You break the random shovel on the wall. The shades close in one you, and even without faces, they look at you like "are you serious?">>37684603Tell us your specialties and step up to the Skipping Stones, young apprentice.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37684587B: What! Hand on Broggy! Brogrr's coming!K: NO YOU IDIOT!>Runs back in the maze
>>37684603Of course, dear! You want to learn from the Lawmagi, you'll have to prove you're a valiant upholder of order. Just talk to Antruthius, he'll guide you through the process.
>>37684511Not unless he actually gained enough competence to raise from the dead unassisted, he died a month or two ago.>>37684588This one doesn't look like he will last for much longer either.>>37684623He actually managed to raise a decent group of skeletons to aid him for a while.
>>37684588That was my favorite shovel.
>>37684638I-i'm good with Resistance and Perception, and I can cast a few ward spells. Usually...>>37684653O-okay ma'am...
>>37684638Yeah run the stepping stones, watch for kracken maids.>>37684638I think he has resistance and perception Master Archwizard.>>37684667Shame he was doing so well. I'll miss Brody.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37684638>shrugs and laughs nervouslyEhe, hehe, eh? It was worth a try?>taps his foot while trying to think of a way out of there>begins necrodancing
>>37684731My god, it's glorious...
>>37684644Krogrr and Brogrr... run back into the maze. Uh...>>37684630Roderick manages to subdue a strange aberration with a powerful spell! Let's see if he can find a path out of the maze.>>37684731Astonishing! the apprentice dances his way magically through the tunnel and right to the exit!>Recent Apprentice has exited the maze>Recent Apprentice has been cursed by the vindictive shades.
>>37684731Wow that's certainly more like it.>>37684766Your welcome Ma'am.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37684778B: BROGGY!
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37684778Nah, fuck that, I'm too high to find my way out.>Turns to the abomination.Smash me the quickest route to the exit, then you're free to prey on the others in the maze.
>>37684778>>37684731Good work, apprentice. Have a scone!
>>37684563>>37684584Thank you, that helps.
>>37684812 Oh gezz, you had me worried about janitors for a second
>>37684808...for what it's worth...add +1Captcha: Britl
>>37684778>A scrawny Kobold in rags apraochesEsscuse mi ser. Mi masser Zirconis telled mi to goes 'ere.
>>37684812D-did you just get Chronomanced?Mod or was it the Janitor?>>37684808>>37684832Well that is going to end badly.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37684778Skipping stones, eh? Alright...
>>37684840 nah I think she deleted it her self
>>37684731How in the? HOW!?>>37684778>walks out of the commenters booth and grabs his apprentice by the shouldersHOW!?>shakes his apprentice by the shouldersBUT YOU ARE INCOMPETENT, HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF!?>the apprentice shrugs>>37684840Wrong nametag, deleted it myself.
>>37684805They seem to have avoided any new problems, and the path to the exit remains clear, but Broggy is nowhere to be found.>>37684808Oh no! The abomination quickly leaps up and noms on Roderick, Victreebel-style!>>37684838Wunderbar! Tell us your specialties and then try your luck on the skipping stones.>>37684848Sonthus nearly trips up, but successfully navigates his way to the other side of the pond!
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37684884RODERICK SMASH!>Roderick draws his sword and starts cutting whatever looks vaguely important.
>>37684367Those wolves moved far too slowly to have been re-animated properly. You might want to fix them.>>37684877Master Lazarus maybe he was a dance student before he came to you?>>37684884Roderick has a +1 and forgot to add it.
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37684884Yay! Now, uh, let's get out of here by looking around for an exit!
>>37684913ded Rod. Also, I keep forgetting the name change. :C
>>37684913Who are you again?
Everyone is messing up their nametags in all the excitement. Must be really crazy down there.
>>37684932I've been in the ghost thread for a while now.
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)Alright, hope I'm not to late. platforming/perceptionCan anyone point me to the first obstacle?
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37684884Mi is gud in jumps(Platforming) an' balansses. Mi is very happy to serves mi masser.Sank yu misser, fo da chanss.>start to jump on the skipping stones.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37684884K: He's gone Brogrr!B: Broggy!K: Come on man, We need to get backB: I'm not leaving him!>Continues deeper into the maze
>>37684984*winces*>>37684968Need two specialties>>37684960Stepping stones over there Drake. Good luck *motions for a handshake*
For those who have passed the maze, it is now time for the >Mushroom TripYou must pass from one cliff to the other by clinging to this large mushroom that will, for some reason, float to the other cliff, where the second half of the obstacle course continues. Roll well, and you'll make it. Roll poorly, and you'll fall into the Mystery Sludge!Strength allows you to roll 1d4+1. if you all in the Mystery Sludge, roll 1d100 and I'll tell you what happens to you.>>37684913With a monster attached to your head, you flail madly around the maze in circles.Roll again. The monster doesn't seem able right now to seriously harm you. But more are on the way.>>37684919You get a great start on the maze, nearly reaching the halfway point already.>>37684960Drake crosses the Skipping Stones with some trouble, but manages to reach the other side unharmed.>>37684968Tucker nearly flies across the stones! Incredible! This is the agility of a kobold, ladies and gentlemen.>>37684984>Wolves are upon you!
>>37685041Woo, go wolves! Eat their faces!
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37685041Here's goes everything!
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685041>Cutting and slicing and dicing!Also, heading out for a little bit, 15-30 minutes
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685041This place is convoluted, unworkable and intentionally difficult to navigate. Just the way a barrier should be! I'm in my element!Let's keep looking for that exit, though.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37685041*Dominate monsters*
>>37685039*is a tad to far away to shake hands, but waves at the necromancer* Thanks dude!*Drake attaches a grappling hook to his chain, throws it across the water until it hooks on something, then swings across*Woo! Made it!
I'm here! I'm here! Who died?
>>37685125Hank the muscle mage apprentice did sir!
yo magic sux
>>37685105K: Who's a good puppies? You are! You are! now go find that Broggy guy and get him out of the maze! Go on puppies!
>>37685135Oh, that's a shame, I hear those take a long time to train.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37685039 I have two. Platforming and balance >>37685041Sank yu for da prais misser!>Tucker enters the Maze
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37685041AAAAHHHH!
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685041Time for that strength to help out.Alright, alright, I survived the maze, I can do this.>Lazarus dumps a corpse in his hands before he can head offEh? Eeeeeeh!?>awkwardly tries to make it across while carrying the corpse
>>37685089Roderick manages to spin out halfway into the maze! The dizzy creature slumps off his head, and now the young squire has a clearer running towards the exit! Will he make it all the way out?>>37685085The mushroom spins quickly, trying to throw you off! Luckily, as you fall, you catch the other cliff, and survive with just a broken rib or two.>>37685093You manage to get 75% towards the exit. Just another good roll and you'll get through completely undaunted!
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37685191A rib or two? Bah i can live with that. Necromancer Have to have a sound constitution to work our magic. Again!
>>37685182Lazarus, look what you've made of the poor child!>>37685093At least mine is navigating marvelously! I'll make you a bet, even. My apprentice can complete this course not simply before your little necrodancer, but in better condition!
Incase anyone ever needs a list of 9999 effects see Ghost post
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685191Alright! I can sense the maze drawing to an end, and I can practically smell those delicious scones!
>gets back to his seatAh, that's one corpse well spent, what have I missed?>>37685240>smiles inocentlyHe is good at carrying corpses, I'm just helping him improve on his talents.
Wow, this is so much better with the update number, like, holy shit.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>puts on red robe, flexes, red robe turns to ash.I am the Ultimate Human.(Strength, Resistance)>The stepping stones seem to cower in fear as the Ultimate Human approaches.
>>37685275Ah, so you're not taking the bet then? I thought not.>>37685281This one seems a potential success story. I wonder whose apprentice they are.
>>37685105You successfully turn the wolves to your side. You can't be sure if they won't eat Broggy when they find him, though.>>37685165Tucker is dominating this course! You're already halfway through the maze.>>37685175Jill tries her best, and is tossed hard on the other side, spraining something.>>37685182You just barely manage to hold on, but oh no! That corpse falls into the Mystery Sludge!Roll 1d100 to see what happens to the corpse.>>37685281Indeed, you navigate the stones well, and land finely right on the other side of the pond. you truly might be the ultimate human.>>37685263You successfully find the exit! Thankfully, most of the other monsters are distracted.>Sonthus exits the maze
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)*standing at the entrance to the maze, Drake takes off the grappling hook and throws the end of the chain through the entrance*
>>37685316>fakes shockMe? Bet against my own apprentice? Is that what you are implying?
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37685345Ahhh ouch ouch ouch>Tries to cure that sprain
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>37685345Oh no... I'm dead ain't I... oh boy.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37685345Mi grow up in cave, misser I knowes how to walk maze.>Tucker turns to the left walking fast but carefully
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37685345CLW Ribs
>>37684353Your no fun sometimes.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37685345>Krogrr doesn't tell Brogrr nor Care>Koolaid man to the exit
>>37685345Good work dear! Have a couple scones!>>37685362Mine got through without issue, can you say the same of yours?
>>37685360>>37685360*the chain slithers a short way through the maze, but stops after hitting a dead end, Drake pulls it back out and tries again*
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685345>>37685402Better leg it... and get to the other side.
>>37685425I would bet against my apprentice its good money. Luckily none attended.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37685345I am the Ultimate Human.>the Ultimate Human uses his biceps to navigate the maze.>the Ultimate Human is flexing.>the Ultimate Human is always flexing.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685438
>>37685425>>37685345Th-thanks ma'am. What am I supposed to do now? Is it over? Did I win?
>>37685422Tick-tock, tick-tock. The future knows no place for fun. For the one for whom sometimes is always and was. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37685360>>37685438Your bread crumbs approach works well, but you can't quite get through far enough.>>37685397>hurts even more!>>37685409Tucker catches the scent of Krogrr and Brogrr's dominated zombie wolves! Run, Tucker!>>37685417>you broke a third rib!>>37685424Once again, you exit the maze by smashing the walls!>Krogrr and Brogrr exit the maze... again.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37685498I can do this Clw!
>>37685490You know, I will enjoy the hell to come clock man. It will be fun indeed.
>>37685425Pierre gave my bet the worst odds I've ever heard. But yes, my bet got through... looks like I'll lose though, my apprentice is more capable than I've ever seen him before. >>37685448Just look at that jump, HOW!?>>37685467Also, who is this muscle wizard? He is doing well so far.
>>37685467You flex your way about 25% through the maze. No monsters yet. Probably terrified of your ultimate muscles.>>37685477Your chain seems to be pulled on by a Beholder! He's chewing the grappling hook!>>37685527You cure a rib.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37685498Oh, I just have to go across this thing? Alright! First I'd better cast a Levitation field so I don't fall into that nasty stuff below.
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685498>Tucker turns around and rund quickly away, leaving some traps on his way. (rolling 1d2 for the traps)MI RUNNES MISSER!
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685477*having no luck with his method, Drake walks in to the maze frustrated*
>>37685498>cries as she loses use of her right hand(and flipper)
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685498Both: YUG SUL!
>>37685545What of me any my lost corpse? (>>37685402 >>37685448)
>>37685555You successfully cast a levitation field. Add a +1 bonus when you hang onto the mushroom.>>37685557You successfully avoid the wolves and are now 60% through the maze.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37685557 sorry wrong nametag and dice. take the 3 will roll the 1d2 again.
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685615Wheeee!
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685562*and runs right into the beholder that followed his chain as he drew it back to him*
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685191>Forcing himself to focus through the poison, Roderick heads out in the direction he thinks leads to freedom...
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37685545Faster reps = less mass, but...>the Ultimate Human grunts and flexes until a vein pops>the Ultimate Human uses the blood to slide faster through the maze
>>37685613I'll surprise you with it.>>37685568Don't worry, Jill. You need only your legs for the next challenge:>Log JammerApprentices must cross this bridge of spinning logs, or fall through and into the Mystery Sludge.Balance gives you 1d4+1, Platforming gives you 1d4+1, and if you have both, you get 1d4+2. However, 1's and 2's will both send you into the Mystery Sludge now.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37685615>Tucker is still runningESSCUSE MI WOLVES, YU NO EATS MI!
>>37685706At least tell me, have I made it to the log or not?
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685706Time to run for it!
>>37685706Sorry, forgot pic>>37685631Sonthus makes it across perfectly fine.>>37685636The Beholder seems just as surprised as Drake. Will our chain mage run or fight?>>37685645Roderick bursts through the doors and out of the maze!>Roderick has exited the maze>>37685697You run into a dead end. A few ethereal shades descend upon you!
>>37685636 work calls, so drake will be bashing the crap out of that beholder with his chain until I get back
>>37685536Tick-tock, tick-tock. But time is round just like a clock. And for every tick and every tock that heralds hell. The loop draws close aswell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37685768This is like the stepping stones, right? Should be a cinch! Sonthus away!
>Bursts in covered in flames, lashes of fire spouting from her backWhaaaaat's going on guys!rolls DC for not being set on fire by standing next to cromia
>>37685768>Collapses forwards, bleeding from his head and still lacking a badass hook-hand.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>37685765[Well shit on a shingle, this'll be unpleasant]
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37685768 fucked up the roll
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>37685825Ah hello Cromina, we're watching the apprentices go through an obstacle course.
>>37685759Yeah, you made it. Just lost the corpse is all.>>37685765Dirk tries the logs, and augh! the apprentice necromancer slams head first into a log, and into the Mystery Sludge!roll 1d100 to see what happens to you>>37685717More quick movement, and Tucker makes it all the way to the end of the maze! Probably hastened by the wolves behind him.>Tucker exits the maze
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>37685825am I stupid>>37685841Seems fine, eh... so who died until now?
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>37685813That's my boy, Sonthus! This challenge has nothing you can't beat!>>37685765>>37685765Not looking good for the necromancers though...>>37685768Good work Roderick, have a scone!>>37685825
>>37685827I'm tired, lemme alone
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>37685825Jeez, what happened to you?
>>37685779*Stares* now your just getting confusing.>>37685825Hi I died *hugs her* the fire kinda tickles
>>37685825>Is on fireOH GOD WHY!>Run around setting other near by things on fire>>37685852Yo what's the statis on >>37685599
>>37685856I'm not entirely sure, I'm using it as an excuse to holler at the field and have a drink with the other mages.Speaking of which, have a drink.
>>37685834>>37685852See Previous post.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685768>>37685852Running, running, running, running! Aaaaaaaaah, where am I going to find a corpse to replace the one I lost!?
>>37685885Lord knows You stuck in like me though.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>37685885>slipsAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>37685772Alrighty>>37685813Sonthus deftly treads the rolling logs and makes it safely to the other side.>>37685834>Dirk reappears at the start of the Log Jammer>As a Vampire!>>37685839Jill stumbles a little, but manages to claw her way across the logs and onto the other side.
>>37685825Heya Cromina. Someone was looking for you.
>>37685874Ah, the thieves this day, don't you get Evasion?>>37685867Uh, same as last time but check it out, the rift has not grown in a week! Well, it occasionally spouts flames everywhere but who cares.>>37685875I'd love to, though you see->picks up a glass full of alcoholic beverages best left unmentioned >glass explodes in a burst of fire-that's the problem.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37685768This was all part of the plan. >the Ultimate Human's flowing golden hair begins to merge with his arms.>the Ultimate Human attempts to lift the entire maze off the ground as one piece and walk underneath the wall in front of him
>>37685961>Implying noone would ever make a save
>>37685825Well, I would say the best day of my life, but my apprentice is still alive, so I'm not sure yet.>>37685885>>37685908Oooooh, there he goes.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37685852>Looks at the mushroom and down at the mystery sludgeTis look worses than da piss o' mi masser. Mie better not falls down.>Tucker jumps and claws himself deeply into the ShroomWHEEEE!
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37685852Roderick takes a deep breath and heads into the log jam...
>>37685936Yaay! Did I win yet? Is it over?
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37685936I get any bonuses considering Vamps are faster, stronger, and very much more resilient than your average schlub, if so let me know, if not oh well.Well it could have been worse. Again
>>37685951And who would it be? Implying you unreliable catfolk are to be trusted.>>37685974It was a low dc one, no one could have failed it- uh wait, I got it.
>>37685961Ok yeah, that is a problem.Try this, it's chewable until its been in your mouth for around 10 seconds.
>>37685885>>37685908And, the apprentice falls into the Mystery SludgeAnd it looks like he's clawing his way up into the maze as a gorgon!>the apprentice is now a gorgon monster in the maze>>37685874Sorry, it looks like Krogrr and Brogrr are on the mushroom, and –ouch! One of the brothers smacked his head on a rock as they landed!
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37686009rolling to see who is concussed
>>37686003*Stares* the utter waste of alcohol in that exploding glass of alcohol is just. Unacceptable
>>37686003Uh. One of the apprentices wanted to apologize to you maybe. So if that rings any bells its probably whoever rung the bell. I don't remember. I slept horribly and cant be bothered to remember things.
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37686009K: Okay log jump, lets do it brotherB: *drools*K:Okay so no change......
>>37685872Tick-tock, tick-tock. You have to know there are mysteries in time. And I for one who lives in many lines as constant just to watch. Am not the greatest one. For time just flows with tick and tock, loopwise in the end. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37686009As in snakes for hair gorgon? Cool.>scratches his head in confusion>notices hair is now snakesAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!>runs through the maze in panic
>Torches the popcorn vender's stallAHHHHHHH>>37686061SAVE ME ROBOT SANTA!
>>37685966Good lord! the Ultimate Human is walking under the maze like a boss! Incredible! The monsters don't seem to know what to do.>The Ultimate Human exits the maze>>37685982Tucker barely hangs on as the mushroom spins to shake him off. He lands hard on the other cliff, hurting something.>>37686002Not here. You're an impure Mystery Sludge Vampire. You can learn to be an incredibly badass bloodsucker if you make it out of the course, though.>>37686001Just two more obstacles>>37685990And, into the Mystery Sludge!
>>37686005Actually you shouldn't come THAT close to me->Marus hair catch fireSee?>>37686035I know, such a pity. Someone, bring me some very cold drink in a ice bucket, maybe I'll get to drink something. >>37686041Ah? I think we are talking about Roderick, the guy shows promise indeed. Mah. Has anyone seen Soros or Pierre or some other guy I can relate to?
>>37686081Fair enough i think i might ad this guy to my line up if he unlives through this.I made it right?
>>37685961Interesting... just don't blow up my popcorn.>>37686009>>37686063Huh, that's new. Never trained a gorgon before. Wait is he a woman now? Huh, that's odd.>shrugsNot like he, er... she, is going to become less competent than she already was like this.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>37686081Dice Gods have Mercy
>>37686107Oh bother. I wonder if I have anything non-alcoholic here..
>>37686107No idea about Sorors, Pierres been missing since Vex let Secretus out.
>>37686107You rang?Sorry playing more than one at a time is ahrd for me.
>>37686051kekKrogrr and Brogrr nimbly make it through the Log Jammer and onto the other side.>>37686063The apprentice accidentally finds the exit to the maze again. I suppose he could try and continue, even as a gorgon.No one look him in the eyes.>>37686002>>37686109And Vampire!Dirk successfully makes it across the Log Jammer. And now, a public notice that Jill's neck looks deliciously bitable.
>>37686081S-so what's next?
>>37686061*Nods sagely* fair enough mr tick tock. Its definetly fun to watch.>>37686107*Conjures up some ice water in a frozen cup made of frozen helium* try this *hands it to her*
>>37686157Really? I just got made I am not thirsty yet. Besides i'd be pulped before i could get anything out of that tasty looking neck.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37686157>puts on a blindfold>takes a deep breath>necrodances on to the next obstacle
>>37686157>Looks >>37686063 in the likes like he is told to
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37686081>Tucker is clawing up some of his teeth and his tail looks brockenNossing to warry 'bot misser. Mi has be treates badder befores.>Takes a look at the logsTis mai no dat bads>Tucker jumps
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37686081>the Ultimate Human puts the maze back down where it wasI'll be back for more reps later.>the Ultimate Human jumps towards the mushroom and attempts to punch into it
>>37686154Hello Soros, you have missed out on watching apprentices stumble through the course, we even lost one at the beginning.>>37686195>facepalms loudly
>>37686154Oh, Theres Soros. Hiya Soros.
>>37686154Ah Soros, where have you been? Have a drink. Assuming you're not also on fire.
>>37686151Shame, he is a pretty swell guy.>>37686154Hey. Nothing of important, just going to see how many people I can tolerate were around. Actually can you take a look at these, though?>removes a magic-enhancing diadem from her forehead>two tiny horns are very obviously sprouting from underneath the flesh>>37686189Hey, where's the alcohol?
>>37686225Diviner remember? I've seen the entire thing. I'm playing Dirk.>>37686227Hello. You need a real name to call you by.>>37686247Oh my. Looks like you're turning into a devil from that contract. I'l lsee what i can do. *starts slathering Cromina in a green foul smelling ungent*
>>37686279 50 gold says it's Kat
>>37686247 Flictonic Clipple Webber Syndrome! >>37686279How are you? Wheres the fun in that?
>>37686136Roderick resurfaces from the Mystery Sludge as a ROBOT!>>37686164For those still with us, the next obstacle is the>HighballsApprentices have to balance along a tightrope, while we, the teachers, throw magical dodgeballs at you. Will you make it to the other side, or fall into the Mystery Sludge?Balance gives you 1d4+1 and Resistance gives you 1d4+1. Both give you 1d4+2. Same as before, 1 and 2 send you to the sludge.>>37686201fucking kek
>>37686303>Is a statue at this point
>>37686301Fine. You? Just or our sanity so we can talk civilly.
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37686314Oh, taking blows without reacting? Papa taught me real good at that!>>37686314
>>37686314Dammit. I had to reload and forgot the pic.>>37686195Uh oh, Gorgon!Apprentice completely missed the mushroom and falls back into the Mystery Sludge!>>37686203Tucker makes it clean across the logs.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37686314ROBOTERIK HAS NO NEED FOR SLUDGE!>He charges up his lazer eyes to blow up the sludge with robomagic shenanigansYou're enjoying this, aren't you?
>>37686077Tick-tock, tick-tock. Me is to watch and not to act. So I won't save. Not even a single elf. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37686189Tick-tock, tick-tock. For me who knows how this timeline goes and all other ones as well. This end is but a repitition now and lost all charme to me. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37686247I dont conjure alcohol after my fifty foot tall alcohol elemental one time
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37686314>Tries to conjurer her flippers(right is still useless) to deflect incoming objects
>>37686363I died how are you?>>37686376Well thats no fun because human choice is a thing.
>>37686279L-Let's not jump to the conclusions- and keep that smelly thing away from me! What do you know of these things, maybe >>37686301 is right and this is just some strange syndrome. >>37686380You gotta be kidding me, if I knew how summon one of those I would do it every day
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37686314Well this is going to be unpleasant.
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37686371>Has to cross with a failed spell
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>37686371This doesn't seem so bad the second time it happens...
>>37686421I was there remember?>>37686423Pretty sure i'm right. Just hold your nose. Also you have a tail.
>>37686368Go get em, Sonthus!>Papa taught me real good at that!Too real.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37686314K: This will be a cake walk, right brotherB: *drools*K: getting real tired of your shit brogrr
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>37686430
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>37686468>Gets nailed in the balls>Falls into the sludge
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37686371Dogdin' mi is gud at dodgin ssings. Masser srow loss of tings at mi.>Tucker balances on the rope, his broken tail gives causes him some trouble at first but he seems able to cope
>>37686368Hell, I'm just breezing right through these!
>>37686279Of course... now about your near omniscience, can we all wait with dealing with... well, you know, until after this race is over? I mean I get it's important, Pierre and you made that clear BEFORE it became an issue. But we are having such a wonderful time right now.>>37686468>turns back to the raceOh...
>>37686374You fire a laser into the sludge....roll 1d100 to find out what happens to the laser>>37686387>You accidentally conjure the flipper at the bottom of the area, and it is going to the bounce balls that miss back up at you!>>37686434You manage to dodge the balls. Even the ones that fly back!>>37686430Struck right in the fangs! And into the Mystery Sludge!>>37686440You are teleported to the Subyrinth under the deathmaze! Still a gorgon.
>>37686502 I forgot my bonus can I reroll?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>37686514I have no regrets
>is popular with the pigeons
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37686514Oh, this place looks nice, maybe I can find a replacement corpse in here somewhere!>starts looking for corpses
>>37686462What? I ain't got no tail, you must be wrong. You must be kidding, Soros. Are you kidding? Because right now, right here I would be very, very, VERY happy if you were.
>>37686508I already told you, tracking Secretus takes all my attention, so i honestly can't say.>>37686574Noe looks like a spade tail too. *yanks on it a little.*
>>37686574>>37686588Is Cromina turning into a demon? That's what happens when you're on the evil side of the law.
>>37686363Slept horribly, Doing okay besides that. Most people just use Random as a first name :^) If I ever picked a name it would be somthing like Kaht Gril Pahlidin or something equally cringeworthy.
>>37686574No that's a tail alright.
>>37686620I'd just call you Kat
>>37686609Devil actually. Demon would be chaotic.>>37686620Sorry to hear that. Your name is just Kat? Short for Katrina or Katherine?
>>37686423 Adolescent psychological skin hardening syndrome. It’s a common disease where children grow horns from trying too hard. http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/FLCL
>>37686421Tick-tock, tick-tock. Or so you think. For I, I saw all possibilities. And ask myself why do you still look with such an wistfull eye at that little tent of blue which you call the sky?
>>37686501it seems that Krogrr and Brogrr have been teleported to guild hall. But, oh my– they are accosted by new evil opposites! Rogok and Rogob!>>37686544Just add the bonus. if it's a 3, you get nailed, but you survive to the end. If it's a 4 or higher, you dodge all the balls.>>37686546Aw, the laser died.>>37686572You find zero corpses. You do, however, find a still-living hobo by the name of Squigly Fred. He's a cool guy.>>37686561You are transformed into a dodgeball to be fired at the other apprentices!
>>37686423I tried there alcohol is kinda painful.>>37686462Nope things are hard to remember some days.>>37686609No
>>37686588Ykes! Hands off!>>37686609>>37686627Shut up, shut the nine hells up, I am thinking!-No, ok, I can't into this. Someone, think for me, please.
rolled 2, my bonus is +1, so its 3?
>>37686640Cause its a wonderful thing to stare at when you get to fly free through it all. Its beautiful really to see the blue sky.
>>37686669E-excuse me sir? Am I done now? Is there another trial? Did I pass?
>>37686630>>37686637 as far as the character is concerned, The only reason they haven't said their name is because they know it bothers people. As far as I'm concerned its just because I'm terrible at names. Plus it has been an amusing schtick to me. Ill use a name if people want. I did have a nice dream though, So 50/50.
>>37686639Based FLCL, that thing is golden.
>>37686669so out of the game?
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37686669Oh well.>He climbs out of the sludge and starts making his way down again...
>>37686689I was the head of demonology i need a blood sample and an hour.
>>37682879Are you bipolar?
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37686669Oh good, company, come Fred, let us both leave this place and seek out the promised land full of sandwiches and sunshine!
>>37686669Welp my player in this is gone.>>37686681Goes with being a spirit. it'll get worse.>>37686689Sorry. You might want to pray to the heavens to delay or reset this?>>37686719Ah well then. Good for you. Just awkward for me, Hell i named Lazarus because it was making my OCD active.
>>37686719 Fine ether way with me, just saying if it was kaht or something I'd just call you Kat. or Tabby
>>37686707Tick-tock, tick-tock. That was a metaphor. With sky I mean uncertain fate, which is uncertain no more. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37686743Who are you? Maybe. Nah.
>>37686784 heh, you play Dirk?
>>37686784WHO? Those stick-in-the-ass guys living in their disgustingly peaceful realm? You gotta be kidding me!>>37686737You was the head of demonology, right. You should be able to do it in half an hour, tops. Here, take this.rolling again DC to not catch fire when going anywhere near cromia
>>37686710You have made it to the final challenge!>Wall BangersApprentices must pass through a series of walls. Each wall has doors drawn on it, some are solid and cannot be broken, others are made of paper. You have to force through the paper doors and onto the next wall.This is a multi-tier challenge. Winning means you have passed the course. There are 5 walls in total. Each wall requires a 1d4 roll. Rolling 4 or higher means you're safe. Rolling 3 means you stumble through and into a monster hiding on the other side! Rolling 2 means you hit a solid wall and have to try again from the start! Rolling 1 means you fall through a trap.Resistance gives you 1d4+1, and Perception gives you 1d4+1. Both give you 1d4+2.
>>37686784Its not so bad. Lots of cool magic that I can use now.>>37686793I know even with a doom coming its still marvelous to watch.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>37686844am I stupid again
>>37686704sorry forgot to link to>>37686669
>>37686844* walks up and grabs it* I am also dead friend so your fire doesn't hurt too much.
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37686855Wow, this should be easy! As someone who makes walls, breaking them should be no challenge!
>>37686844Hey you want to buy some time or not? This is accelerating exponentially. Looks like you might end up an Erinyes.>>37686861Half the time and you have to get a consensus on it.
>>37686689Well I can remove the tail and the horns and the.. Fire, that appears to be escaping your nostrils when you get upset. But I don't think that is going to help very much.
>>37686855Not to be impatient but did you miss me?>>37686211
Rolled 3, 1, 1, 3, 3 = 11 (5d4)>>37686855>Opens doors
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37686855late to the party, is it too late to run the course?
>>37686855Got no update on my latest attempt at escaping the maze. >>37686755
>>37686730Perhaps. See what happens after you deal with your opposite clones.>>37686734You make it back to the Log Jammer. The magic logs indeed support your weight, and you are on to the Highballs.>>37686755You find neither.>>37686902You break through the first wall and into the midst of a Grue!You lose your bonus for the next wall if you choose to avoid it.>>37686845Well, the ball is going to fall in the Mystery Sludge if you want to test your luck. Rolling a pure 100 will actually let you win the entire course.>>37686877You advance through the dodgeballs and onto Wall Bangers.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37686974Let's just cast an Arcane barrier! No dark spirit shall hinder me!
>>37686909Then do it! AT ONCE!>nearby chair is utterly disintegrated into a pile of ashes>>37686907Look at me soros. Back at you, now back at me.Who casts with Intelligence here and who uses Charisma? Right. Should I know what is an Erinyes?
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37686999Yay! Now onwards!
>>37686907So long as I am making ritual circles only I can use the shadow as much as I need to. Outside of that yeah I need James's agreement.
>>37686923Sorry. I did miss you.The Ultimate Human puts his fist in the mushroom, and is carried across to the other side. Uh... twice. Three times, before removing his fist and exiting to the Log Jammer.>>37686943You don't have to do them all at once.You stumble into a Beholder! Avoiding it, you then pass into a trap, a paper that sends you into a puddle of Mystery Sludge!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>37687024Well then. >shoots with crude blowdart
>>37686861Tick-tock, tick-tock. I see, I hear, I get your words. So i will tell you that, the Planecrash is a wonder still. So we two will keep our watch. Even if it after hundred times a dull wonder it became. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37687024>actually happens to know what a Erinyes is>Is unable to share this information>Is also covered in bird shit
>>37687024*Stares* uhhh lets skip the blood and get straight to emergency cures. Yeah, sooooooooooooo. What caused the transformation?
>>37686974Nah i'm good.>>37687024Basically the devil equivalent to a succubus demon. Basically you're going to be Asmodeus's bitch in any way he wants. Fair warning he likes it painful.>>37687035Thought so.>>37687073You're going to make the transformation faster by doing that.>>37687089Warlock contract with Asmodeus.
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>37687069AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- *SPLAT*>Belly flops Question: is there water in the mystery sludge?
Aw ye. I got Reese's pieces. Todays not so bad after-all >>37687116That's pretty terrible. Is it magical?
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37686974>looks at the wallsSheesh misser. Mi wishes masser was 'ere. 'Is 'ead is so 'ard mi could slams throughs all walls. But well...>Sprints against the first wall
>>37686999>The monster is stuck! If you go back to the beginning at all, you never encounter another monster between walls 1 and 2.>>37687033You pass through Wall 2 perfectly.>>37687005>Rogok and Rogob.Hey, what's up?>>37686952Sure, you can give it a shot. Just tell us your specialties for bonuses. If nothing else, you pass the Skipping Stones and already advance to the maze.
>>37687174Yes. Yes it is .
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37687069This one's for all the scouts watching.>the Ultimate Human, implausibly, manages to flex even harder.>the Ultimate Human assumes a perfect squatting position and turns sideways to crab-walk over the log.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37686974>>37687189There got to be some way out of here. Hey Frank, look at this thing I learned earlier today, it's called necrodancing.>taps a beat and starts necrodancingHere comes the natural 1
>>37687187 oh boy not removing the other nametag sure messes with my luck
>>37687194Would uh, It go badly if it were to be dispelled?
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37687189Skills, don't fail me now! Onwards, to the 4th section!
>>37687252Not even Aetherius could that.
>>37687189K: Not much, my currently concussed brother here entered us into some contest and we where just teleported here while in the middle of it. Oh and nice to meet you guys, I'm Krogrr and this is my brother, Brogrr.
>>37687086Looks like I am able to cast some dispel magic right now? I am not. The only thing I can cast is Fireball, all day long.>>37687116Uh. Soros.You, like, got to help me. I mean. You aren't going to let this happen, right? RIGHT? I enjoy being the overcharged, powered up version of a human, I don't think being some devil king's bitch is what I want to do with my life. So you going to help, right?
>>37687280When you dispel something, Do you smash it like a window so the entire thing comes down? Or do you wear it down like water wears down rocks over time. Genuine question.
>>37687139No water, sorry.Jill, you rise from the sludge sapped of all of your magic! You're a muggle for the rest of the course!>>37687213The Ultimate human crab walks into the Mystery Sludge!>>37687236>Frank necrodances better than you!>>37687187>>37687246And, you're blasted by a spike trap! You're wounded even worse and bleeding everywhere. but, you can start the wall over.>>37687258Once again, clean past Wall 3!
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37687189Cool, I assume i have to start at the beginning, then. I guess I'll take balance and platforming.
>>37687336 So back to the doors or do I start over at the mushroom tripper?
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37687336The penultimate wall! I can practically taste victory!
>>37687320I'm trying to, yes. This is fucking complicated even with Spelleye and truesight on. 17 dimensions intertwining at various points.>>37687331Smash all or nothing usually.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37687336>Coughes up some bloodShikes misser, tis 'urts baddes. But mi mum sayed alway keepin' on tryin'>He charges a different wall
>>37687286>Rogok and Rogob.I'm Rogok, and this is Rogob. We're here to murder you and take your flesh.>>37687339Alrighty. After passing the skipping stones flawlessly, you manage to navigate the maze expertly, finding your way already to the halfway point.>>37687375You stumble into a duo of Owlbears!
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37687336Wow, Frank, you're a natural, let's beat this maze to the beat.
>>37687075I may not remember the first few or the last few dying messes with the memory.>>37687116.....>>37687320I got this I think. *Sifts through contracts*
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37687421*casts Nut shot*
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>37687336>the Ultimate Human's triceps deflate an almost imperceptible amount in response to this turn of events as he enters the sludge.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37687421Owlbears! Just one wall left... I can't lose my way now! Arcane Shield!
>>37687426Then? Then? What is it? Did you discover something?>>37687398It makes no sense to me but continue, please, it is not like I am going to turn into an horrible monster.
>>37687398Does everyone dispel that way or is it just a personal preference deal? When I'm absorbing others magic I just absorb part of it until the whole thing unravels at the seams. Trying to figure out if I could help Cromina or if it would just make it worse somehow. Without insulting anyone or anything.
>>37687336>>37687424>stares in disbelief at the necrodancing duoWell I guess that's good enough for me, once that fool is out of there I'm taking my TWO apprentices and leaving. Apparently that fool is good for something.
>>37687469I do this wrong you could end up as food instead of a fucktoy. Eternally digested and undying.>>37687478Usual way to do it. Plus this can repair itself.
>>37687426Tick-tock, tick-tock. Of course you don't remember. For the Planecrash is not just a end. As I said with every tick and every tock time will rewind itself. And I am choosen to protect the status which you might just call quo. For the crash is the end and the beginning of our multiverse. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37687424You successfully boogey out of the maze.>>37687408You fall into a net on the other side. The Grue kicks you a bit. He eventually nudges you back to start, with most of your body a broken mess of kobold.>>37687439>Rogok and RogobBlargh!>Collapse in agonyA door appears behind them.>>37687442You reappear at the beginning of the Log jammer, but you have been transformed into the Ultimate Elf!>>37687452You deflect the Owlbears, who can no longer assail you.BRB, sorry.
>>37686974Welp. Due to immense amounts of RL drama, I'm out. I'll pop in later maybe.
>>37687520>Goes through the door
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)>>37687520The last door! This is it! My triumph as a TRUE Abjuror!
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d2 + 1)>>37687421Sweet onto >>37686314Casting a duststorm to blind the teachers while I meander across the tightrope with my expert balancing skills.
>>37687495Ah well, Probably not worth the risk. When there's a lot of time put into a spell it gets a bit dangerous and unpredictable. I prefer dealing with combat dispelling. I'm around if you come up with anything to help them.
>>37687537 Later man!>>37687554NOICE!
>>37687554God damn, I didn't fail a single test. And despite being late, I was first to finish. I should get extra scones for this.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37687520>Tucker is sobbingMi will win fo' mi masser. No end here. Must win.>He charges the next wall with the power of despair. He shouldn't even be able to move anymore, but he keeps going.
actually with the contest probably won, I'm going to poof to get some grub
>>37687495>Screams internally>>37687478No one needs to know how little divine spellcasters like you do that stuff you try to pass for "divine magic". You want to do something usually? Die in my steed, it would be greatly appreciated!
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d2 + 1)>>37687561ignore the +1
>>37687633Not what I was talking about Cromina.Though I don't think I care THAT much.
>>37685636*Drake finally makes his way out of the death maze, he is rather bruised and battered, but he seems quite happy with his victory over the beholder*
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>37687520>the Ultimate Human notices his more slender physique and sheds a quiet tear. I am the Ultimate Elf.>the Ultimate Elf begins doing magically charged burpees, attempting to levitate over the Log Jammer.
>>37687554Congratulations, you are hereby granted the title Apprentice of the day, here is a medal on behalf of the Necromancy department.>>37687520>grabs his apprentice and Squigly Fred and heads for the guild hallAlright you two, we got a lot of work to do if we are going to make use of your odd talent for Necrodancing, so come on now.Huh, somehow read the hobo's name as Frank, guess that's now the name of my now Gorgon apprentice... until he gets a new one fitting his new gender at least.
>>37687633>slumps down clone body of CrominaTry this!
>>37687562I will.>>37687633Cromina calm down. Stress will make it worse.>>37687702Contract will still affect it. It's working on her soul.
>>37687469Ah fucking ha. He owes me a favor *holds contract aloft*>>37687499Well lets watch it then.
>>37687729Well, was worth a shot.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>37687670Fine, I don't care about YOU either so why don't you just disappear?>chucks fireball>>37687729Don't tell me how should I feel! Geez! Now I understand why Fryia got mad at you that time!>>37687765Really? What kind?
>>37687804I'm trying to keep you from a full turn here.>>37687780Yeah thanks for trying.>>37687765What kind and how much is it worth?
>>37687765Tick-tock, tick-tock. We will. As always. As we did before and we will do the next time. Everything is as always. every tick and every tock in its place. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37687554Wow, congratulations Sonthus! You get an official membership in my class and a free blowjob!
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>37687804Very rude. I At-least tried, You seem to be embracing it rather fully. What happened to the Cromina who would have defied this to the last breath? Stop giving in and quit getting mad. How are you going to keep insulting me if you cant even keep your cool to save yourself?
I am back with the coffee. Who won?
>>37687986I have no idea, but I'll have a cup.
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37687675*moving on, Drake tosses his grappling hook at the mushroom*
>>37688005Here you go
>>37687986Sonthus, Apprentice AbjurorAlso Cromina is turning into an Erinyes.
>>37688030A what now?
>>37688062Devil version of a Succubus.
>>37687986Me, I suppose. Yeah, I did win! I won! I came into this challenge a reserved, undetermined whelp! But I walk out of it a MAN! A confident man! I've surpassed the competition, and come first place! That's right, I'm not just an apprentice anymore! I'm THE apprentice!>>37687888Just what a man like me has earned, baby!
Hey guys! I wouldn't go to the kitchens or send any apprentices to the kitchens for a bit. There's an army of pix - ohhh the Death Sports! >>37687804>>37687847I'm interrupting something, aren't I?>>37687603Well done.>>37687888Lucky him. I wouldn't really have expected that of you though, Niamal, but you're free to do as you wish.Stupid winter weather.
>>37688078Damn. That's a bad thing, right?>>37688086Here is your 25 pounds of coffee for winning.
>>37687896What? WHAT? Come and say that to my face you->flames wither a littleAhhh, who am I gonna fooling. This thing makes way too sense, I tell ya. I've been way too much of a naughty girl for not expecting this at this point- I mean, I shouldn't have done those experiments on children, for starters. Also slaughtering a whole village worth of people has been a bad move in, in, in insight. It, it, it *sob* it is gonna end like this, right? Guess I fucking deserved it.
>>37687554>>37687603Congratulations! Sonthus is the Apprentice of the Day!>>37687545You reappear at the finish line, right behind all of the walls! Krogrr and Brogrr came in second place.>>37687675Badass>>37687691You successfully elevate past the logs, and onto the tightrope.
>>37688145Hey Cromina. Coffee?
>>37688101Yes, Cromina is turning into an Erinyes and you missed the apprentice run off.>>37688113Unless you're ok with her being Asmodeus's whore.>>37688145At least that is better than anger.
>>37688086So forward! We need more apprentices like you in the guild!>>37688101It's not sex if I just use my mouth, Ivan!
>>37688101Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh it's you. You did quit some damage in the alternate timelines as always. But at least you keep my job interesting. For every tick and ever tock I have to put back in place fills me with joy. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37688182I am not ok with that at all. what can we do to prevent it?
>>37688229We're working on it.
>>37688176Nah, it is going to catch fire. I don't know why, everything catches fire- look, i'm fucking weeping flames! And it hurts! A LOT!>>37688182Eh. If you say so.
Well then. Good to see I didn't miss anything worthwhile.>>37688145oh gods what are YOU blubbering on about?
>>37688250Ok, ok, ok. Is there anything I can do?>>37688278>puts on fire proof gearHugs?
>>37687847Its worth cromina easily and a few souls too and a golem body for me.>>37687880That we shall mr paradoxical
>>37688287You did miss Secretus's revival if you know who that is.
>>37688174Yeah! Do I get a picture on the wall or something?>>37688113This is nice I guess... I don't drink coffee.>>37688287Nothing worthwhile? I completed the gauntlet flawlessly! I outrank the other apprentices now!
>>37688275I'm sorry, but I feel we have to kill Tucker after three 1s in a row.
>>37688278I do.>>37688317Coffee>>37688319May i see it?
>>37688317If you must. Careful with the tail, though-yes I have a tail now, don't yank.>>37688319Listening. Details.
>>37688182I try, and fail to parley with those pixies and miss the runoff? Dammit.And an Erinyes? I...may be able to help. This Asmodius's fault again?>>37688195If that's how you want to see it. Also, Ivina for now. I need to fix that, but these pixies' magic is completely foreign from our pixies.>>37688220You can't prove anything!Well you probably can.In my defense, those Terradons had it coming.
>>37688351am okay with that, Zirconis sent him to die anyways. I just kinda pity him
>>37688373Ok>>37688349Ok then>>37688384Meh, my dad decided to boost my height to 15ft. Stuff like this happens all the time*hugs Cromina
>>37688415Did you change genders? Also This is pretty gods damn solid. I can't unravel it.
>>37688417I know, I feel really bad for him. To come all this way and get the life kicked out of him at the end. Really sad.Zirconis should be proud he made it this far.
>>37688373I would let you but its from asmodeus. Its designed for anyone who isn't me trying to read it goes crazy blind or dies. I can negotiate this because its just calling on the favor but if you wish to try enjoy. *holds it out*>>37688384There is hope simply.
>>37688415Sorry Ivina. Besides, you just have to think of it less as sex and more as a motivational tool. It's not like I'm doing it for just anyone!
>>37688484*takes it* Hmm interesting....... This might work, or horribly backfire. Either way worth a shot.
I, Fabulous Esteban, am happy to have shown up fashionably late! Point me at a challenge, that I may overcome it!
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37688174I suppose it's time for cardio.>the Ultimate Elf breaks into a dead sprint at the the tightrope
Rolled 127 (1d131)So, we're on page 10. I don't know if the remaining apprentices want to continue or call it quits with their lives intact. but I'm going to roll to see how many nameless apprentices entered the course and died offscreen.
>>37688319Tick-tock, tick-tock. Yes. We shall watch every tick and every tock unravel. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37688415Tick-tock, tick-tock. Don't fear, don't defend. I have no wrath sway. For as I say, you keep my job just fun. For your travels are so irregular, they never are the same.But know that all you change and save are just in vain. For I turn the wheel of time back again, Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37688468Zirconis won't care. Just give him a nice death.
>>37688484What favor. I need to know. It is, like, important that I know.>>37688428>mfw she's only 5 feet-ssssso. You are freakishly tall. But I am cool with that, I guess, since in a couple of days it seems like I'm going to lust after devil cocks.>>37688415It is something. About your nametag. It really bugs the hell out of me. But I don't get it.
>>37688574127/131 deathsGentlemen. I believe we succeeded in our goal.>>37688548The Ultimate Elf dodges incoming balls just enough to make it to the other side, where he must face the walls.>>37688547If you're sure. Tell us your specialties and try your hand at Skipping Stones.
>>37688574I'm down to keep going. I'm having fun.
>>37688574A good show then.
>>37688619Not if I can help it.
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)*after a few tries, Drake's hook catches and he sails across the gap*Someone link the ghost thread
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37688626I, Fabulous Esteban, have decided not to undergo the fool's errand that is specialization. For focusing on one or two things would only cause my myriad skills to wither in other areas! I, Fabulous Esteban, will accept nothing less than perfection! These stones of skipping shall be no challenge!
>>37688666You are an half giant with a club, and your only skill is making coffee. And you tell me you are going to face the Prince of Darkness because you are not cool with me getting what I always deserved?
>>37688651Ghost thread as usual. We've avoided the janitor's broom for now, but I don't want to rock the boat anymore than we already have.>>37688634Alrighty. But your dust storm failed to help you. All the teachers are pissed.>>37688618Tucker the Kobold died in glorious battle against a horde of monsters. With broken bones and bloody wounds, he charged forth to slay the beasts behind the walls. And though he took down countless foes, he was finally slain by a mighty cave dragon.Tucker is immortalized in a statue in the Guild Courtyard.
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37688731Shitshitshitshitshit
>>37688731 So what happened to jill?
>>37688725I have learned more than just coffee making my friend. I have perfected the art of making Pierre feel the worst pain he has ever felt in his life
>>37688788Oh good. We'll get along just swimmingly then, my dear assistant.
>>37688710You fabulously pass the pond.>>37688778You lost your magic. You can try the walls again, or bail like a punk. Once the course is over, you can access magic again.>>37688771You narrowly dodge their angry balls and make it to the walls.>>37688709You successfully cross the gap.
>>37688458...Yes. The pixie language I tried to speak is a apparently a slave dialect in their world. They may or may have been terribly offended by me making eye contact with them.>>37688515No harm done, Niamal. I may have cast a perception filter on myself, so that it's harder to notice. That's as good a reason as any. I was just surprise. >>37688581Are you saying that those Terradons aren't going to be extinct? That's...disappointing.>>37688619Pixie magic, and a perception filter to make the, ah, changes less noticeable.>>37688626Well, they probably wouldn't have made much progress in the guild anyway. https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37682566/#37682566
>>37688731Tick-tock, tick-tock. A shame it is. The Kobold always is my favorite. For such a little guy his courage was so big. But his master won't care the least what happened to the little beats that fought so bravely in his name. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37688788Well add that to what I said before then, master mageslayer. And then your answer is?>>37688849Shit! You too?
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37688731>the Ultimate Elf doesn't break stride and continues his sprint at one of the walls.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37688843What's behind door number 1
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37688843Ha ha! The outcome was never in doubt! Now watch as I, Fabulous Esteban, navigate this magical labyrinth! Watch now how a true apprentice overcomes what is set before him!
>>37688531Yes yes yes it may back fire except it can't cause of fine print. Now what race is cromina cause i need to be specific also age too
>>37688875He might like my coffee?
>>37688581Tick tock goes the clock hickery dickory dock?
>>37688878You burst through the first wall effortlessly. 4 remain.>>37688888You fall into a pool of water!>>37688898Esteban gets lost 20% of the way into the maze.
>>37688841And your alive again shit.>>37688849That'd do it>>37688907Ask her. Also clause 237887676876y-ip09.
>>37688946Yes yes I know but he's an ass I had to let it stand
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37688843Door 1, Ho!
>>37688917Eh. Eheh. Eheheh.You're such an idiot, you know. Good thing I like idiots like you.
>>37688875I need your race and age
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37688979
>>37688875Well, I'm female now and that's about it. It's happened before, but that's another story. I managed to get out of the pixie-kitchen invasion before they managed to do anything else.>>37688917Gods know everyone else does. Ha!>>37688946I regret not asking advice from any Diplomancers. Or copying any of their memories.
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)>>37688943This isn't the locker room...>the Ultimate Elf puts his clothes back on and continues towards another wall.
>>37688984I shall take that as a compliment. Thank you
>>37688863Surprised? I knew I would come back, but I never suspected Pierre would be the one to release me. I suppose we'll never know why he did it. Do you have more coffee?>>37688946Of course I am. But you've nothing to worry about. All you did was beat me at a game of chess.
>>37688979You slam into a spike trap!>>37689017You then stumble into a puddle of Mystery Sludge!
>Roderick watches the competition quietly...
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>37688709*his grappling hook, perhaps a bit to useful on this course, allows Drake to swing across yet another obstacle. He moves on to the Highballs.*
>>37689042Here you go. Say, have you seen Vex?
>>37688849Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh they will. But not by your hand nor spell. For it was to be meteor to cause them all to die. Tick-tock, tick-tock.>>37688941Tick-tock, tick-tock. Do I hear mock? I will have you know this: after hearing this line the hundredth time is making it funnier at all. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37689017I am very clearly a human- and it is rude to ask a girl her age, oh, hell, who cares, I am 46. Look, I know I look barely 20 years old. Infernal pacts work wonders with the aging process.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37688943I, Fabulous Esteban, fear that I, Fabulous Esteban, have become hopelessly lost. But fear not! For I, Fabulous Esteban, would never have been selected by my homeland, by my family, if I, Fabulous Esteban, were not truly the best man for the job! I, Fabulous Esteban, have no need of stopping for directions!
>>37689035You plow through the second wall, and into the midst of an Erinyes!
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>37688943>Water>Witch>No fish net stockings[Long scream]>Climbs from the pool of water shivering from the cold and does her best to cover her self while on continuing lmao
>>37688978Can bite us in the ass though.>>37689024Yeah, still you aren't the most charismatic guy i know.>>37689042Twice, and do you really think i'm buying that? I'm look right at where you want me to look.
>>37689089Sorry I enjoy yhe nursery rhyme its not mockery more flattery
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>37689048Should I even bother rolling again?>>37689109Uhh, y-you t-too...
>>37689080Not recently, I believe motherhood has her occupied. Be careful if you see my apprentice. He murdered me in cold blood once already, and is not to be trusted.>>37689109You agreed to an infernal pact with consequences such as these?
>>37689109Well dear I will handle this later I must go prepare
>>37689109Ah Vanity another Erinyes hallmark.
>>37689181Ok then. Would you like to punch him the balls for you?
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37689123Female spotted!>the Ultimate Elf attempts to charm the Erinyes into letting him pass with a magically enhanced full body flex.
>>37689115Fabulous Esteban is assailed by Veilhex's undead wolves!>>37689149>3 1s in a rowJill falls into a net, and there's a tentacle beast on the other side!>>37689167Well, you have to roll 1d100 for Mystery Sludge, but that's a good roll you just made.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>37689149...Miss Jill needs clothes...>Rolling to summon an unrealistically beautiful dress. That's also waterproof.
>>37689196No. I will deal with him. If he tries to contact you, inform me at once. He is, after all, a murderer.
>>37689042So...who might you be exactly?I'm Ivan... er. Ivina.Soros freaking out isn't a reason not be cordial.>>37689089So...setting off a chain reaction in that planet's mantle wasn't enough?I'll have to step up my game then.>>37689154Well, girl now. I still take offense to that.Besides how was I supposed to now they enslaved 83% of their own population?
>>37689160Tick-tock, tick-tock. This is what you always claim. But I don't know if truth or not for emotions I disdain. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37689230But punching him in the balls is so fun.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>37689202Thanks, I made it myself.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37689202I, Fabulous Esteban, must charm these wolves into accepting me as one of their own! I, Fabulous Esteban, shall no doubt succeed in this undertaking; be it through strength of body, of will, of mind, or of heart! I, Fabulous Esteban shall not fail in my task!
>>37689202[Screams then moans] Mfsw I read that
>>37689193>>37689181Ahw, shut up you two.Especially the ex-ghost prick. >>37689251Mortimer! If you betray Pierre we are not gonna do that anymore! You know. *That*.>>37689185Wait! What if someone happens in between?
>>37689234Tick-tock, tick-tock. I was enough, I let you know, but not the way it was to go. For I protect the eternal status quo. The way it has always been. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37689273Undead wolves don't work like that, it seems.If you weren't a moron, you'd know that.
>>37689201>ErinyesSorry, but I'm only into humans.>>37689273The wolves pause, confused, but then start eating you.>>37689266You are teleported back to the Subyrinth beneath the deathmaze!>>37689288Jill is out of the contest, I'm afraid. Perhaps we'll see her again later.
>>37689234I am Secretus, wizard of the first age and founder of the school of Conspiracy. I made many enemies in life, it is no surprise that some bad blood remain.
>>37689316I am not going to betray him, I am just going to hit him in the balls to for the bad pun he will make. but if you don't want me to hit him, then fine, I wont
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37689347Faced with the most heart-rending rejection ever experienced by man or beast, I, Fabulous Esteban, must flee!
>>37689288....I hope Miss Jill is okay...I liked her...>>37689316>Goes up to Cromina.M-miss Cromina...I-I uhm...
>>37689245We can't all be omniscient in our spare time. I just managed to overlook that they impose a separate dialect and vocabulary on the enslaved.>>37689251We're only allowed to punch him in the groin when he screws up massively.>>37689330So, uh. What happens if you...malfunction? Hypothetically speaking.
>>37689316Trying to keep you on the straight and narrow.>>37689402Still.. Pretty big mistake.
>>37689399Oh, speak boy. You can do nothing to make my situation worse than it is, so speak up and stay clear from the flames.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37689347I am the Ultimate Human.>the Ultimate Elf tries the exact same thing again, strategically placing his hands over his ears as he flexes this time.
>>37689450>Even as fade to black thing are going on Jill can't help but laugh at that
>>37689440>You can do nothing to make my situation worseYou said one of the unspeakable words, my friend
>>37689351That's Scott. He's a deck.>>37689382You drag two wolves that are biting each of your legs. They seem surprised.>>37689450The Erinyes is sick of your shenanigans. She ties you up and throws you over the wall for the next monster.
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>37689347Dang. Well, forward and onward, I guess.
>>37689496I have a talent for those.
>>37689440>Stays a safe distance away.I-I uhm...I b-borrowed one of y-your uhm...books...'m sorry...
>>37689531you discover Quin's discarded fake moustache>Item get!
>>37689423Yes, I know. I just wish things would stop happening when I'm trying to make stew. It's I wonder I still remember the recipe, how many times I've been surprised cooking it. Maybe the recipe is cursed.>>37689522That poor elf.
>>37689316>>37689355It would hardly be a betrayal. After all, he is a criminal. Who says I'm not in a position to help you as well?
>>37689440Really?>>37689496She did.>>37689576Likely.>>37689586Common Sense? Asmodeus hates you.