You are Sean Rorke, radar operator and radio intercept officer of the 501st Joint Fighter Squadron, and you are currently floating in a cloud. If you could take a picture, you think, this would summarize your time in England. You, dangling in air, in the middle of a nasty, wet, damp cloud that smells like cow farts, unable to see a fucking thing. You can't see the ground, so you can only pray that you're not coming down on top of something nasty or spikey or something. The English went fucking nuts during the Battle; any meadow long enough to accept glider was filled with shit and any field big enough for paratrooper airdrops was – well they didn't need to fucking flood East Anglia's fields, come to think, it's a fucking bog already.And the Italians actually TOOK this place, once upon a time. Further proof that they're insane, too. Eventually you break through the very, very low cloud deck to find yourself hovering directly over an alleged farm. A collection of farm-y looking outbuildings are nearby, and several cud-chewing cows lift their heads long enough to decide that you are truly the harbinger of the end times; prompting them to start mooing nervously and mucking about, because they're stupid. As you descend towards the little farm, you espy what looks like the overall-clad farmer in the company of a bobby, who appears to be aiming his service weapon at you dubiously. You close your eyes, count to three, and open them to find the exact same thing. >COMMUNICATE! (specify) >You didn't make it, did you? You died, and this is Hell. You just didn't notice before, because you were in England, and an Irishman's hell *is* England. >other?
>>37596329>>COMMUNICATE! (specify)"I HAVE LEGS, YOU MORON! PUT THAT GUN DOWN!"
We arrive.>>37596329Clearly, we should >Communicate!Specify that we are, in fact, a normal Bound persona.
>>37596329>You didn't make it, did you? You died, and this is Hell. You just didn't notice before, because you were in England, and an Irishman's hell *is* England.
>COMMUNICATE! (specify)Wave handsPoint at lack of tentacles and general alium features.
>>37596329>>You didn't make it, did you? You died, and this is Hell. You just didn't notice before, because you were in England, and an Irishman's hell *is* England.Sean is Bruce Willis?I am surprisingly okay with this.
>COMMUNICATE! (specify)>"I HAVE LEGS, YOU MORON! PUT THAT GUN DOWN!"Sure, why not.
>>37596429Fuck you, I'm still waiting for the re-release with the USB Pride of Hiigara.
>>37596329>>COMMUNICATE! (specify)Sing the Irish Anthem.
>>37596460>Only a single torpedo per sideMY AUTISM, IT BURNS.
Wait, you actually did a Kancolle quest? You wanker.Good timing with the animu shipwreck though.
>>37596480>Heavy Corvette burst-shot rape shall ride again
>>37596329>Communicate"IRELAND FOREVER, ERIN GO BRAGH!"
>>37596329>>You didn't make it, did you? You died, and this is Hell. You just didn't notice before, because you were in England, and an Irishman's hell *is* England.Maximum snark.
>>37596329>COMMUNICATE!"I HAVE LEGS YOU STUPID GIT! WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF WELSH CUNT?!"
>>37596480We are certain the glorious HD re-release of the original will soon come. Still your heart, Exile. You will soon find your path towards home.>>37596551We believe that the Kushan greatly prefer to use their Salvage Corvettes to great and quite rapacious effect.Although, for Bound personas, your Heavy Corvettes are quite effective.
>>37596551>>37596616http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00K6ZUOQE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s03?ie=UTF8&psc=1In case you missed it, no idea if the pre-orders for it will ever re-open though.
>>37596329>COMMUNICATE!>Now, now my good man, I'd rather you holster your weapon before YOU meet dire consequences.Hoo boy, are we gonna do two SW threads tonight?
>>37596616I think they announced it's coming in like, a month or two. I'm pretty hype.
>>37596329>Be Sean>be Irish>be confronted with English copper pointing a gun at himTHE ONLY PROPER RESPONSE HERE IS TO TACKLE THE BOBBY AND BEGIN BEATING HIM SENSELESS, YELLING ABOUT IRELAND FOREVER AND GOD SAVE IRELAND AND FUCK THE ENGLISH, FUCK THEM FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
>>37596660>http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00K6ZUOQE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s03?ie=UTF8&psc=1This item is of great interest to the Bentusi Exchange. Unfortunately, we did not stumble upon it earlier.We... regret this mistake.>>37596721We see our own excitement reflected in yours.
>>37596721amazon currently has it listed as december 31st 2015
>Archaeologist Sagald had found something that was as unremarkable to the casual eye as it was monumental to the future of our people. When she studied this stone further, she discovered it had once been an ornately carved artifact that had been nearly destroyed by intense heat. Whatever message it had been originally intended to convey had long since been erased. Some distant ancestor had cast it through time as a message for generations to come. Etched into the upper surface is a simple diagram of our galaxy, and a single gouged line leading from a point on the rim to one deep in the galactic center. Adjacent to a spot easily identifiable with Kharak’s actual position is a single string of numbers that give a three dimensional vector. And at the other end of the line is a single word, ancient but common to all clan dialects:>Hiigara … Home.
>>37596867>>37596721>>37596616All this talk of HomeworldAnd I'm just here wishing I got its Gundam mod.
You stare down at the wide-eyed bobby who's trying to track you with his Webley revolver and not doing too swell a job of it. “H-H-Halt!”You look down at the rapidly approaching ground, then back to the bobby, unable to wrap your brain around that one before you finally hit the ground near the farmhouse. You stagger upright only for a stray breeze to fling the parachute at you, and after flailing about madly with it for a bit, you extract yourself to find the bobby and the farmer both training firearms on you. The bobby, for some reason, has a large pig on a leash which is wrapped around his free hand. “Identify yourself!” the bobby manages, sounding a little less shaken, now. You look down at yourself, then back at the bobby. “I,” you state clearly, “am a human.” “Ah, but what'ff 'eez lyin,” the farmer says suspiciously, glaring at you over the barrel of – you squint – yes, that is a god damned pin-fire revolver he is waving at you. The bobby – an older man with a bit of a paunch – looks uncertain at this. “But... he does look-” “Ayy, they got all sortsa tricks now,” the weathered-looking farmer opines. “Sneaky robots and crazy bloody shit, you know.” “Okay.” You hold up your bladed palms on each side of your face in a bid to demand their attention. For the first time in your life, you are going to put your formal education from Catholic school to the test. “Logic time.”Both men stare at you, wide-eyed and a little nervous, saying nothing.
>>37597244“A Martian,” you say. “Has what?” “... green skin?” the farmer ventures.“Ray guns?” the bobby adds. “And tentacles, lots of tentacles!” the farmer adds. “And blood-sucking suckers on the undersides and a beak that can crack skulls wide ope- STAND YOUR GROUND MAN!” he snarls, halting the bobby's half-hearted retreat. “Yeah,” you say. “Now, do humans have any of that shit?” They stare at you for another long second before they tentatively shake their heads. “Right. So,” you point to your very human legs. “If I have legs...” “... you're not a Martian,” the farmer concludes. “Right,” you say, crossing your arms and nodding at them, satisfied. Normally this situation would fill you with wrath, but for Englishman, exceptions must be made. The bobby leans over, and in a low voice whispers: “check'im for tentacles.” You watch, completely and utterly nonplussed, as the farmer slinks towards you cautiously – and then winds up and kicks you in the fucking shin. >You know Irish step-dancing.>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.>other?
>>37597268>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.
>>37597268>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.this fuckin guy
>>37597268>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.U WOT M8 C'MERE I'LL GLASS YA CUNT... wait, wrong stereotype.>Dat pictureMAY WE BURN HER????
Call this one early.
>>37597268>>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too."Oh, you stupid stupid Englishman. I REMEMBER SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY!"Don't stop until he stops moving.
>>37597268The Unbound are unaware of what an "informal" Catholic School education is, but we are eager to find out.
>>37597268>other?We have our debut as a signer and enlighten them to the Irish anthem.
>>37597268>>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.
>>37597452Ah, dude? Young and Co. were officially transferred to the 501st many, many threads ago.
>>37597268>>You have an *informal* education from Catholic school, too.BEATING.
>>37597268>You watch, completely and utterly nonplussed, as the farmer slinks towards you cautiously – and then winds up and kicks you in the fucking shin.Can you hear that sound?It's the sound of an angry Sakamoto, run for your lives!
>>37596329>Sean RorkeIs that Thom Yorke's macho cousin or something?
>>37597626>Mio is sipping some freshly-brewed Yame tea>SUDDENLY>teacup cracks down the middle>My... SEAN-SENSES ARE TINGLING
>>37597677Minna has YOUNG-SENSESMio has SEAN-SENSESPerrine has ENGLISH-SENSES
>>37597735Did someone say ENGLISH SENSES?!!!
>>37597677>My... SEAN-SENSES ARE TINGLINGHer vagina?
>>37597647You know, it would be funny if Sean and Thom were actually related in some way in the SWQ universe.
vote called, dinner ate, writing
>>37598005>dinner ateHOLY CRUD IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE DINNER TOMATOES
What happens next is a tragedy of circumstance, much like an innocent lad that trods upon a long-forgotten bear trrap. In seventh grade, the shins were the favored target of a short little fucker named Matthew Grady, and through long practice, your hard counter was engraved in your muscle memory. Matthew was a fucking bastard, so when you set out to lay his downfall you employed every ounce of the dark genius of your ancient forebears. The entire body curls into a “c” shape; head coming forward, knee coming up; a headbutt that flows into the old “grab-head-and-bring-down-to-upcoming-knee” maneuver, but the shine, the absolute malicious shine on it was incorporating a double-ear-boxing into that first ear-snatching seizure. You never meant for this poor, foolish English farmer to suffer that fate, but then he walked right up and quite literally put his foot into it. There's a flash of movement, a crack – and the awful deed is done as the poor bastard tumbles to earth, unconscious, his revolver in your hands. The bobby screams, a high-pitched warble that wavers towards heaven – and then he remembers to draw a bead on you. >SUPPRESSIVE FIRE >HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGE
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGE
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEHigh as the spirits of the old Highland men!>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSH0eRKq1lE
>>37598256>>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGE
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGE>YellingScotsman.gif
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEHAAAAVE AT THEM LAAADS!
>>37598256>>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEFREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!!!
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEFREEDOOOOM!
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEJust to disarm the poor fucker, No need to have another body at hand.
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEFuck it. Let's do this.
>>37598256>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEBobby's face recounting this particular misadventure at the pub.
>>37598256hey planefag, Mari witch when?
votes fukkin called
>>37598256>>HIGHLANDER FUCKING CHARGEDEATH TO ALL ENGLISHMEN!
>>37598639We already have a witch the fucks everything that moves.Her name's Krupan... Krupp... Cupcakeski.
>>37598706>Mari is cupcakeyoungspawnI think this explains everything
>>37598760>>37598852>>37598860why is Mari best witch?
>>37598639>>37598939>>37598974Take this:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=tangfagAnd go
>>37598957Do not be alarmed. It is merely the passing foolishness of the Bound.
>>37598639>>37598939>>37598974The shit I put up with...>unsheathes beam saber
You instinctively deploy the time-honored Scottish technique for countering Englishman with guns at close range – a fucking insane balls-out physical charge while you scream like a mad bastard. The Scots are generally sad, sorry folk tied to sad, sorry land, a combination so insufferable that even the Romans, who conquered all of Europe, just stopped short and put up a big privacy fence to keep them from depressing property values too much. But they do speak Gaelic; albeit badly with a dumb accent, so you'll assume their Englishman-killing tactics are based in solid ground.The bobby chops his hand at you as he tries to fire, as if he's throwing axes at you with each shot. This fails to work whatsoever, and you're just lunging forward to employ the remaining benefits of your Catholic education; a talent for handegg; when the hertofore ignored party makes his presence known. The pig.
>>37599142get that shit out of here
>>37599196You know that pigs are merely the domestic descendents of boars, the gigantic snarling beasts best hunted from boats, with bows, and failing that, with twenty men wearing armor, equipped with spears, and dogs – who are also armored. Because boars are fucking terrifying. You know that the charge of a maddened boar has been likened to the devastating power of the legendary English knights, aside from the boar smelling a bit better. What you did not realize was how fucking fast a pig can move. One moment the bobby is screaming like a little girl as he tries to literally throw bullets at you, and the next his Webley is hanging in air, an abrupt orphan. The terrified porker, a good four-hundred pound or twenty-stone or whatever the hell the English call'em barrels through a split-log fence like it isn't there, the hapless bobby throwing up a bow-wave of muddy water as the pig makes good his escape. The thin, reedy scream of the bobby finally fades into silence as the leashed pig crests the rise and vanishes into the heath with little grunts of terrified exertion. You stand tall, having vanquished your foes. The field is yours. >wat do
>>37599196>when the hertofore ignored party makes his presence known. >The pig.Aw fuck
>>37599233>>wat doFind Ian. He can't have gone far.
>>37599233>Good time to take... inventory.>Also, wake up the poor sod of a farmer.>>37599210>Not liking RX-79[G]Ez-8Even Neo Granzon is disappointed in you, Shu.
>>37599233>>wat doI suppose it's time to get on with life now that we aren't distracted by English idiots.
>>37599233>wat doFind Ian. He's got a Scottish first name, maybe he can help us find our fucking pilot.
>>37599233Pick up that Webley, make our way to the farmhouse, and look for a phone with which to call Barin.
>>37599233>Find Ian>Get back to base before Sakamoto breaks our pelvis with penned up sexual tension and worry.
>>37599233>wat doFind Ian. Complete the sane part of the crew of our plane and then organize a ride to Barin.
>>37599233>Locate Ian, see if farmer has any food about almost dying is hungry work also maybe bring him inside.
>>37597504Do they kill Jedis now?
>>37599459ICWutUDidThar and all that jazz.
>>37599459you fell for my trap!
Welp, time for Keine lewds.
>>375996851. fuk u mai waifu is pure2. I'm open to suggestions as to exactly what, or where, Ian landed in. Things Ian hates are a plus.
>>37599738Does Ian hate girls boarding schools?
>>37599738A big, steaming pile of Frenchmen.
>>37599738Ian landed near where his Mom's unit is, how about that?
>>37599738He landed in an ordinary farm.That happens to be the home of his mum.
>>37599738Ian somehow landed at his old family home, how? because the universe is perverse and cruel.
>>37599534I realize it's fucking retarded, hence my original reaction.>>37599539>heterochromiaMary Sue detected.
>>37599820I was going to say face first in a cow pie, but this is much better.
>>37599738>Ian landed in a bog, face-first.Also, your waifu a splendid teacher, though she needs to cut on the caving.
37599738Perhaps in a brothel?... I don't know, would there be brothels out here?
>>37599850Only the kind with 47 year old dried up hookers who looked good twenty years ago.
>>37599738oh god >>37599811
>>37599738Anywhere in the vicinity of his mum, really. Somewhere near his mum and Perrine would be best.
>>37599738Places with multiple copies of Young smug ass grin
>>37599850>Perhaps in a brothel?... I don't know, would there be brothels out here?>in the middle of farm countryI know I'm sleep-deprived when I can't decide if this is fucking retarded or a stroke of geniuseven though >>37599811>>37599820make more sense
>>37599443Hah! I recognise that view (though it;s from further down the hill, and looking more to the right): https://firstname.lastname@example.org,-3.093365,3a,75y,297.3h,70.78t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1sFy86nFUgWSGWeE4QS1565w!2e0
>>37599738Yeah, near his mom would be best.
>>37599811The Unbound agree that this is a splendid suggestion.>>37599738The Unbound have had many fascinating and riveting discussion with the Bound persona called Keine Kamishirasawa.We have always been impressed by her wisdom and knowledge.
>>37599920reunion with his mom at a farm/unit/brothel/whatever is worse for him.
>>37599924Also, the Newcott Chef is apparently now an american diner, which is bullshit.
>>37599955This man is a genius.>Ian lands in a brothel>Mum shows up to evacuate civilian hookers>Finds Ian covered in women of ill repute
>>37599920Yeah. I was thinking "worst possible place" as opposed to "worst possible place in farm country".I decided to throw it out there anyway because who knows? Maybe it'll work. Somehow. This IS SWQ, afterall.Though near his mother would probably be much better and make significantly more sense.
>>37600011And French. Unwashed, sweaty, hairy French women.
>>37600011>Ian, what are you..>Well mum, you could say>pic related>That I'm just PUSSYcat-nip.>http://instantrimshot.com/?sound=csi
>>37599920Look at it this way Fap Angle, him reuniting with dear mum is also flak for Young down the line."Tell me, just how does go about making such a right mess of an operation like that?", or some such. >>37599924Just grabbed something from Google. Looked appropriate enough to me for setting a scene.
>>37599955>reunion with his mom at a farm/unit/brothel/whatever is worse for him.w o w
>>37600011>Gets confronted by Perrine while arguing with Mum>Arguing intensifies>Sean Arrives>Arguing reaches critical mass
>>37600112That's what he gets for bailing out like the little Britch he pretends he's not.
>>37600112The Bound do seem to have quite the mind towards malice.We suggest you proceed.
>>37600125>the place when
>>37600112Do any newspapers have Young's mocking face on them?Make sure one catches his eye right as he meets his mother.
>>37600161>Trude>mfw>>37600171What?>sunglassesToo much of a PUNCHline for you boss?
>>37600220I'm saying that was a pathetic pun. For a CSI joke to work like that, it has to be related to more than one aspect of the present situation. Just saying that he's 'pussycat-nip' while covered in hookers isn't clever, unless he was literally covered in catnip. 0/10, try again.Also, don't emphasize the wordplay in all caps like that. That's the pun equivalent of shouting "DO YOU GET THE JOKE? IT IS FUNNY FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS."
Is there anything more pointless than waifuwanking in a universe where pairings and offspring are set?
Okay, I'm going to be honest - I just can't continue writing tonight. I can phone in stupid fucking shenanigans when my brain is fried and I'm running on four or five hours total sleep over the last two days, but you guys just handed me a work of art. This is going to require some time, and an alert brain. Hate to "cancel" on you guys, but I really have to get some goddamn sleep. I'm going to sleep on this, and we can resume Monday afternoon after I get out of classes; which is around 3 or 4 PM EST. Congrats, you just took Sean Quest from a bit of noisy half-assed LOL IRISH jokes to something that both advances the plot and gives Sean nearly unlimited license to make Ian's life a living hell. SLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW CLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP see you guys Monday
>>37600417THREAD'S OVER EVERYONE GO HOME
>>37600417I am both pleased and displeased.Have a good night.
>>37600417>both advances the plot and gives Sean nearly unlimited license to make Ian's life a living hell.YES
>>37600417G'NYT YA GIT
>>37600417It's amazing you're still cognizant with 4-5 hours of sleep over two days. Rest.
>>37600417Goodnight then. I'll have plenty of even dumber suggestions ready by then.
>>37600417Rest well planefag. May trippy dreams inspire you.
>>37600417We are both sad and glad to see the story progress, even as this thread ends.The Unbound shall return two planetary rotations hence. Rest in the mean time, Bound persona known as planefag. Your brain does indeed need its rest, good friend. Good night.For now...We depart.
>>37600533ROW ROWFIGHT TEH POWDAH
>>37600417No prob Planefag, get sleep guy. See ya Monday.
>>37600417You better make this go somewhere good.Time to walk over to the next thread.
>>37600616There's no way this can't go anywhere not goo-... There's no way this can go anywhere other then somewhere g-Fuck, it's SWQ, it only ever gets better.
>>37600684You're either a godsend or Young's minion bruh.
So apparently witches in SW-verse had various organizations or strongholds over the course of history. The only thing worse for Ian than meeting his mother in a brothel is meeting his mother in a brothel full of lewd witches using lewd magic.
>>37600714The powers that be decided you all were having too much fun so they sent me to ruin it.
>>37600769>Implying it was a terrible ideaI FORESEE SHENANIGANS
>>37600598We meet again, brother!
>>37600860>spiral bro-fist in your general direction
>>37598372>O CANADA in the background
>>37597268>ripping off Monty Python noice, ya hack.
>>37599738planefag!Keine x Wizard lewds when!?
>>37606750Never because Keine a shitYou a shit
>>37606750>literally whoI think you might be in a wrong quest.Or this joke is more widespread than I thought.
>>37600417>MFW I leave for the Army on Monday
>>37607177>Mfw fuck this computer